Musical talent IS very attractive.
But multiple songs/poems written and sent to one person is overwhelming and... uncomfortable.
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Am I Simply Being Gullible?
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But multiple songs/poems written and sent to one person is overwhelming and... uncomfortable.
- Feb 23, 2015
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Yes, save it for the next muse. Make sure muse B knows that it was inspired by muse A. With a little luck, muse B's competitive spirit will kick in and she will try to amuse you more than muse A did. Draw on the inspiration from muse B to create something even better for muse C, and so on.
Don't stop until you hit this...
Unfortunately, this is the way I've been made to feel and I do wear my emotions on my sleeve. My belief has been that things will get better after we meet and we are finally together.
I should ask her if all the attention makes her uncomfortable. She appears very needy, so I always thought she enjoyed the attention but all of you are making this seem creepy. I am simply compensating for not being with her as I have not written much (one song) for others in the past. Of course, with others we could talk, and date, and hold each other, and talk openly and honestly so that is why I compensate.
D
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To clarify my point: If you stopped writing music for someone who doesn't care about it, @LivingInMyth, and started writing music for a more general audience who does, you could quickly find yourself headed in a much healthier, happier and more productive direction. If nothing else, you might have a bit of fun for a change.
And on that point: Do you have any friends locally you can talk to about this whole situation, @LivingInMyth, or anyone you can go hang out with? I skimmed through the videos on your YouTube channel and, as @AnneDVille said, they're heart-rending. I say this without any intention to ridicule you: I think what you badly need right now is not a woman but a friend you can spend time with outside the house. It seems to me all your emotional energy has been focused on this one woman for a long time and it is tearing you apart. It's not healthy, and I don't think either being alone or simply spending more time creating music is going to be enough to get you out of this (mostly self-imposed) pit of despair.
I certainly understand your point about getting out with friends. I appreciate the sentiment. And agree that I need to focus less on this relationship. Regarding the music though, she often requests that I sing the songs for her during our together so I do believe she appreciates the songs although the volume of my work may be overbearing (and I will bring that up in conversation.) A lot of food for thought and I promise to consider everything that has been written on this post.
I should probably let everyone know that part of my impetus for posting as much for her as I do is because she states that she's alone, has no friends (because of social anxiety issues), and does not trust people because of a sexual assault when she was a teen. So I want to make sure that she always has things to read or listen too. Of course, I realize that the story may or may not be made up but I don't want her to feel alone so I live vicariously through various media to compensate.
In addition, most couples get to talk and interact every day. When she is not on cam she is invisible since I don't have her contact information or don't even know where to find her.
If you are still giving her thousands of dollars a week, she's going to say it doesn't even if it does.
Agree. Actually I am taking everyone's advice and backing off. If she is interested she will find a way to contact me. I have been doing all the work and I need to know if she thinks that I'm worth the effort. So I will just post occasionally and stay out of private chats so that money does not convolute the issue. Thanks for the post.
Vera
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I have only read the first page, but I am very sorry you are going through this. I agree with everyone's advice to you thus far.
Vera, I appreciate the note. Everybody has been extremely kind and supportive on this site and have given me some great advice and things to think about.
- Feb 23, 2015
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You got any mental issues? No offense, but the youtube channel screams obsessive.
14 months, I tend to believe you would have had offsite contact a long time ago if she wanted it. Is she even single?
She says she's single but of course I cannot verify. She says she's afraid that she will lose her job. Have not been diagnosed with a condition and previous relationships have been relatively normal. Not sure why I stay in this situation but I really do enjoy the time we spend together although I obvious have concerns about having to pay to communicate.
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X10,0000!!!! That's more poems than days you've known her, if she wasnt scamming you she would have run away...
So maybe that's your proof?
Point well taken although these posts all assume that everyone has the same needs and tastes. As I stated before, she tells me she is alone and has no real friends. That she is needy and insecure and that my poems help her through her day. So I don't think it fair to necessarily assume that the volume is a turn off. Having said that, it is food for thought and I will discuss this with her assuming we get to a point where we can talk honestly (without her humoring me because I am spending money on her online). Thank you for the post.
It seems that all of us are caught up in stereotypes in this thread. That a cam model cannot fall for someone who treats her kindly, then struggle to continue to do her job (while putting off having a real relationship) and work towards getting out of the business sooner to begin a relationship. I realize that this is not the norm but no one seems to suggest that this is even possible. Again, I acknowledge that what I just posited is probably the minority scenario but I do think it is possible.
D
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The problem is not that it's not possible; the problem is that the scenario you've outlined simply does not line up with the way relationships actually work. For one thing, neither kindness nor sentimentality are qualities women find particularly attractive in men—they can easily get those things from their girlfriends. Plus, no one would ever demand a person they respect, much less someone they're in love with, pay to speak with them. And for a woman, meeting a man she is genuinely attracted to is a rare enough event she would never intentionally put off plans to spend time with him, least of all for a job she doesn't even like. Ask any of the women here!
I realize you want to believe everything you've outlined is real, @LivingInMyth. But I think you ought to consider that you are clinging to exactly the myth this woman wants you to believe that has allowed her to transfer your retirement savings into her bank account: That sometimes women fall in love with random strangers they've never met in distant countries, for no apparent reason, despite having easy and unlimited access to attractive men right in their own home town. It's just not plausible. I know that hurts you to hear, but it's true, and the longer you persist in believing this myth the more you will continue to needlessly do harm to yourself and your finances.
Thank you. As I stated, I have hit the breaks pretty hard. And I think her actions (or non-actions) will certainly speak volumes about her intent. Since I will no longer be spending money, the allure would be more for personal reasons then financial. Hopefully this makes some sense and allows for this to all play out and for her to be forced to show her true intentions.
Well that's just great. I've been stockpiling these things for years just waiting to start sending them to you...
Amber Cutie
Amber Cutie
Swiggity swooty
Look at dat booty
AC, AC
Dem boobs may I see?
Prithy, prithy
Cutie, Cutie
That one was titled "Amber Poem #372A". But now that you've made your feelings clear on the matter, it's the last one you'll see from me.
schlmoe
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Even if I'm taking this out of context, all I can say is Really? REALLY, man? But hey, thanks for straightening me out!
paige_orion
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It isn't that we are caught up in stereotypes, Myth. In fact, we camgirls know better than anyone else about the stereotypes that you are speaking about - and we know they are not always true. I think we all know one or two camgirls who fell for a member and were able to create a relationship out of it. We have seen the very rare love stories - and we have seen far more heartbreak when members fall for a fantasy. We aren't caught up in stereotypes - we are caught up in all of the signs we have come to recognize from many others like you, coming here with wounds in their hearts as they struggle to understand the cold reality, while still trying to cling to the tattered remains of their dream.
We aren't suggesting its possibility because it would be so cruel to do so. Our opinions of the topic come from years of experience, from seeing the stories of others like you. And I have never seen a single one turn out to be true. Of the stories of cam love that I have witnessed... Not one began with the way yours has. And I think it would be absolutely heartless of us to give you false hope, to send you back into the fray and let you garner more wounds, to let you sacrifice everything you have left after you have already given so much.
If I were in love with someone and lived in a poor country, you can believe that I would use the $75,000 you gave in order to fuel my life to a direction better suited towards my desires. That is a lot of money - especially if one lives in a country where the American dollar carries more weight. She could have used that already to get true out of the situation if she hates it so badly - she wouldn't need fourteen months in order to do that. If I was attracted to someone, you can be sure that I wouldn't wait almost a year and a half in order to be sexual with them. Especially if my entire job is to be sexual. I would be going out of my way to share something special with the person I cared for. I wouldn't take their entire retirement fund because I would want them to have it for themselves. If they send me thousands of messages, I would be writing them right back - I would be talking to them every chance I can get. I wouldn't be begging for them to spend five more minutes in a show with Me - I'd be skyping them on the side. If I saw my love in the heart-wrenching agony I witnessed in your videos, you can be sure as hell that I would be doing everything in my power to help their pain.
You have fallen in love with a fantasy. I know that is so incredibly hard to believe, and I know your heart will rebel at the mere thought of it. You think you shared so many stories, you think she has been entirely honest, you think she has shared parts of herself with you that no one else has seen before. Because you have shared parts of yourself with her.
But at the end of the day... The job of most camgirls is to be a fantasy. An entertaining fantasy, but one nonetheless. She saw your white knight desires and your loving heart, and she used that to fashion herself into a damsel that needs rescuing. Because she learned that knights like to rescue damsels. That was the fantasy. Perhaps her past was true and she did experience a lot of pain - but that past became useful as a dragon for the knight to slaughter. And you stepped up. You wanted to rescue her from her past and her shadows and her sad, sad story. She became your muse, your princess, your friend, your healer, your damsel in distress. You wanted to heal her world in the same way you wished that she would heal yours. And you sacrificed over and over and over again....
So tell me.... What has she given you? What has she sacrificed for you? How has she proven her love to you?
She isn't a damsel or a princess in need of a knight. She was a girl who needed to make a living, to become the fantasy that would enable the highest chance of survival and the best chance to flourish - and she found the best way to make the most money with the least amount of work - as any business person does. She is doing her job - to be a fantasy in order to pay her bills. It isn't love.
The truth is... If she really shared the same feelings that you carry, then you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't have the need to wonder. You would know, without a single doubt, that she cared. That you weren't taken advantage of. You wouldn't think for a second that you were being too gullible. But you are here. Because some part of yourself recognizes the fact that the situation isn't right. You wonder about her intentions because the seeds of doubt have been growing - because the logical part of your brain is finally able to reign back the passions of the heart and tell you that something just isn't right here. You aren't being overly sensitive. You are finally waking up.
You know that something isn't right. That's why you are here.
I think there is love here - but I don't think it is shared on both sides. I think you have fallen in love with a fantasy, and I don't think she will reciprocate. And if this is love... Why would you want to keep it? Love that destroys, love that causes such heart-ache and destruction, love that turns your life into ash and drains everything you have ever worked for....
That isn't the kind of love that heals. That kind of love is poison. And there is no happy ending there.
My first thought after your OP was, you are trolling. But the whole poem, songs thing gave you some credit and I consider you might be for real.
Any idea how life in Romania is? Outside Bucharest it is to Western standards a very poor country. An educated job, for instance computer programmer, will earn less than $ 1.000 a month before taxes. A medical assistance $ 300 a month before taxes. A two income house hold will struggle to pay the first needs they have.
Camming is, also because it is a legal job in Romania, an alternative that can earn decent money with low investment. And then a regular comes along - you - who showers a girl in money ($ 4000 gross a month? Really?). Even after all cut offs from the cam sites and her studio she will get $ 2000 a month from you...
She learns from you how you get triggered to keep dumping money for no particular reason other then pity. Why in the world would she change her method?
A mobile contract with unlimited call credit and sms credit and a data bundle of 1Gb costs around $ 15 a month. And everybody in Romania is an evit mobile fan.
Some studio's might have rules about contact with customers outside job hours but in general they will not care. If a studio is a bad employer there are literally hundreds of alternative studio's.
Romania is within Europe one of the most conservative countries. To just bring a bf from another country to Romania to date is not something I consider an option for the majority of women. To date someone with another religion is not comon. To not be romantically involved by either being engaged or married for a woman mid 20's is not comon.
A Romanian cam girl will not see your behaviour regarding tipping as an investment, like you seem to do. The moment you spend it, you either receive an agreed service or maybe she considers staying around you already enough service. She will not agree with you past tips give you credit for the future. Money must stay rolling in, cam modelling is a job not a hobby.
Any idea how life in Romania is? Outside Bucharest it is to Western standards a very poor country. An educated job, for instance computer programmer, will earn less than $ 1.000 a month before taxes. A medical assistance $ 300 a month before taxes. A two income house hold will struggle to pay the first needs they have.
Camming is, also because it is a legal job in Romania, an alternative that can earn decent money with low investment. And then a regular comes along - you - who showers a girl in money ($ 4000 gross a month? Really?). Even after all cut offs from the cam sites and her studio she will get $ 2000 a month from you...
She learns from you how you get triggered to keep dumping money for no particular reason other then pity. Why in the world would she change her method?
A mobile contract with unlimited call credit and sms credit and a data bundle of 1Gb costs around $ 15 a month. And everybody in Romania is an evit mobile fan.
Some studio's might have rules about contact with customers outside job hours but in general they will not care. If a studio is a bad employer there are literally hundreds of alternative studio's.
Romania is within Europe one of the most conservative countries. To just bring a bf from another country to Romania to date is not something I consider an option for the majority of women. To date someone with another religion is not comon. To not be romantically involved by either being engaged or married for a woman mid 20's is not comon.
A Romanian cam girl will not see your behaviour regarding tipping as an investment, like you seem to do. The moment you spend it, you either receive an agreed service or maybe she considers staying around you already enough service. She will not agree with you past tips give you credit for the future. Money must stay rolling in, cam modelling is a job not a hobby.
The OP's post was to models, but as we are on page 4, I wanted to chime in with something that no one mentioned.... You don't have any real regard for the model. The way you spent on her was unhealthy, you had no consideration for her whatsoever, especially if she is being honest with you. For one thing half of all you spent went to her studio, the one controlling her that she wants to leave, but this is the least of it.
The main concern is that you put in place a situation where this model became dependent on you, I can think of nothing worse than that. You have put her in an awful position, and one where she will most likely punish you for doing that to her. You might want to be generous, but you must be responsible too.
I won't comment on the relationship between you, as I think your actions make it irrelevant. My response to your question is gullible perhaps, but friendship on your part, no way.
The main concern is that you put in place a situation where this model became dependent on you, I can think of nothing worse than that. You have put her in an awful position, and one where she will most likely punish you for doing that to her. You might want to be generous, but you must be responsible too.
I won't comment on the relationship between you, as I think your actions make it irrelevant. My response to your question is gullible perhaps, but friendship on your part, no way.
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Listen, OP, I will be giving you some sound advice about this woman. Now, there are many different sex worker hustles out there but your case is a bit different. You spend more than 70, 000 on this woman because she was telling some sob story. However, she just ran a very older hustle on you. It is a bit different than the traditional sex worker hustle...it is more on the lines of the Heart of Palm hustle.Usually, the heart of palm hustle allows for a woman to gain tons of money off a man by pulling at his heart strings. Plus, these women will also drain their "marks" of their emotions while draining their wallets.
Back in the day, women would uses this "hustle" and try to get men to marry them. If a man back out of the marriage plans, she would take him to court and win her case. Then the woman would do that to several different men. However, this woman decided to cut down the Heart of Palm hustle and add more negative sob stories to this hustle. I am glad that you did not promise to marry her. Please stay away from this woman because she will drain you of both money and emotions. There are hustles to get more money out of clients but this is something else entirely
Just leave her alone and find another cam model to spend on.
Back in the day, women would uses this "hustle" and try to get men to marry them. If a man back out of the marriage plans, she would take him to court and win her case. Then the woman would do that to several different men. However, this woman decided to cut down the Heart of Palm hustle and add more negative sob stories to this hustle. I am glad that you did not promise to marry her. Please stay away from this woman because she will drain you of both money and emotions. There are hustles to get more money out of clients but this is something else entirely
Just leave her alone and find another cam model to spend on.If this story and your youtube was posted on Reddit with the right title, I really think you would have a viral hit on your hands
Please monetise your youtube videos and then we need to get this viral because it's superb
It's almost like a performance art it's so unbelievable and in a sad way, good.
You're a handsome guy, your songs and singing are quite charming, you seem nice from your videos
It's all very bizarre and again, should go viral and make you some money back
Please monetise your youtube videos and then we need to get this viral because it's superb
It's almost like a performance art it's so unbelievable and in a sad way, good.
You're a handsome guy, your songs and singing are quite charming, you seem nice from your videos
It's all very bizarre and again, should go viral and make you some money back
I respectfully disagree. I offered to send her money to quit, move forward, look for other employment, help her follow her bliss, etc. but without a name, address or contact outside of the cam site there is little I can do but subsidize her online until she is ready to leave. No strings attached. I simply offered her money to quit, get herself together and then plan on meeting up once she was settled. She plans on quitting in December and we will meet shortly after so I don't understand why you think I am making her dependent. Trust me, I would prefer to give the money to her and not have the studio takes its cut.
Yes, I would be open to an interview. I actually tried to sell my story as a movie script but nobody has the balls to turn it into a film or documentary. And yes, I wouldn't mind getting compensation for all that I have lost. And I still think this is a a love story even if I am the only one doing the loving. Love is not always requited. That is life. Once I know that for sure I will move on.
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