How should one make a cam girl feel better?

[Parking]

Today, I interacted with a cam woman who is European, and might be in her late 20s - early 30s. I just realised I fucked up badly later on, but didn't expect it that the way I talked made her feel bad. She had tears in her eyes :/, I felt sad as soon as I saw her sadness. Anyways, she told me to stop what I was saying, then she said sorry to everyone else and stopped working. If I had to guess a reason without any prior knowledge, I'd say that what I was saying.. she experienced it sometime earlier in her life, someone close to her experienced it, whatever the reason.. it had a bad impact on her physiologically. This is my first time interacting with her and it's not normal for me to comfort people, but for this rare case... I feel like it would be morally right.

 

[mira_leo]

Tokens.

 

[Parking]

Tokens.

True that could work, I'm planning to do this one.

P.S. Damn when I see your koala picture... I've tried to save a few of them.

 

[AudriTwo]

Money. Cammodels love money. PAY HER.

 

[Nigerian Prince]

Offline tips are always sweet

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Money, every time, I promise.

 

[thinkinboutit]

A big offline tip. Put an apology in the note.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Was this a real case of upsetting her? Or, was it a "woe is me" type situation?

You said it's the first time you've interacted with her, and I've seen some models shed out some pretty good tears for the sake of pity tokens.


Not trying to be an ass about it. But....

 

[MarieElise]

$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and a genuine apology in a note. Plus if you visit her again, trying to think really deeply about what you want to say, before saying it. If you are not blocked that is... If you are, still send the money and apology. Didn't you make a thread before about being blocked by like 7-8 cam models in a short time? Wth are you saying to people, man? Like I am not trying to be mean to you, because you do at least seem honest, but wtf?? I'm not the best at this either, but something I try to remember is Think, PAUSE, Evaluate, Talk. That can be hard if you have ADD, ADHD or something. The pause part can really save a lot of hurt feelings though.

 

[Mila_]

Was this a real case of upsetting her? Or, was it a "woe is me" type situation?

You said it's the first time you've interacted with her, and I've seen some models shed out some pretty good tears for the sake of pity tokens.


Not trying to be an ass about it. But....

If she stopped the stream and left I don’t think it’s a gimmick. Stopping a stream will cost her more than whatever pity tips she would get playing damsel in distress

 

[JoleneBrody]

of course again... doesn't say WHAT he says to models to get banned/make them cry. me thinks this guy is a troll

 

[Parking]

Was this a real case of upsetting her? Or, was it a "woe is me" type situation?



You said it's the first time you've interacted with her, and I've seen some models shed out some pretty good tears for the sake of pity tokens.



Not trying to be an ass about it. But....

Real case. She was online today, but I didn't feel like talking yet. Also 95% sure she wouldn't do it for token, makes no sense based on that time.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and a genuine apology in a note. Plus if you visit her again, trying to think really deeply about what you want to say, before saying it. If you are not blocked that is... If you are, still send the money and apology. Didn't you make a thread before about being blocked by like 7-8 cam models in a short time? Wth are you saying to people, man? Like I am not trying to be mean to you, because you do at least seem honest, but wtf?? I'm not the best at this either, but something I try to remember is Think, PAUSE, Evaluate, Talk. That can be hard if you have ADD, ADHD or something. The pause part can really save a lot of hurt feelings though.

I saw her today, but didn't feel comfortable to talk yet. I'll do it the next time I see her online. I'll definitely give some money to her ($20 roughly). Also I'm not blocked. And yes, I did make a thread about being blocked by 7-8 cam people, but it's a completely different story. This person did not block me because I didn't do something wrong. The topic I was talking to her about, I also talked to my friends irl about it so yeah. It's kinda a normal conversation, like literally but something made her very emotional. If I knew that would happen I wouldn't talk about it, but I'm pretty comfortable that if I talked to everyone on here, most people would not react like that.

of course again... doesn't say WHAT he says to models to get banned/make them cry. me thinks this guy is a troll

I started talking about how the weather looks nice seeing snow, then she said she hates snow and wants summer. Then, I was talking about the effects of severe bush fires near my area due to extremely high temperatures (global record ones) and people igniting the area. It's been very severe close by and has lasted for quite sometime. I talked about some of the animals that I know died, so I was not so happy when she asked how are you. Then I talked about how a friend of mine had to evacuate her house, because the fires basically destroyed her house. She didn't ban me by the way, just found out today.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I started talking about how the weather looks nice seeing snow, then she said she hates snow and wants summer. Then, I was talking about the effects of severe bush fires near my area due to extremely high temperatures (global record ones) and people igniting the area. It's been very severe close by and has lasted for quite sometime. I talked about some of the animals that I know died, so I was not so happy when she asked how are you. Then I talked about how a friend of mine had to evacuate her house, because the fires basically destroyed her house. She didn't ban me by the way, just found out today.

Dude, wtf? You take an emotional shit in a model's room and are surprised when she gets upset? No wonder you get banned all the time. Heavy shit is for Twitter. Camsites are for forgetting about the heavy shit for a bit and getting your rocks off. Some models are cool discussing heavy topics, but most of us prefer to keep things light because people are in our rooms to RELAX. I talk mad politics IRL and on Twitter, but on cam, it's no politics, just chilling and fellas getting off.

 

[AudriTwo]

I started talking about how the weather looks nice seeing snow, then she said she hates snow and wants summer. Then, I was talking about the effects of severe bush fires near my area due to extremely high temperatures (global record ones) and people igniting the area. It's been very severe close by and has lasted for quite sometime. I talked about some of the animals that I know died, so I was not so happy when she asked how are you. Then I talked about how a friend of mine had to evacuate her house, because the fires basically destroyed her house. She didn't ban me by the way, just found out today.

Dude I know it's topical, but depressing. I'd straight up ban you if you came into my room discussing depressing traumatic events casually. Killing my mood and the rest of my rooms.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

If she stopped the stream and left I don’t think it’s a gimmick. Stopping a stream will cost her more than whatever pity tips she would get playing damsel in distress

I missed the part about stopping the stream, thanks.

Dude, wtf? You take an emotional shit in a model's room and are surprised when she gets upset? No wonder you get banned all the time. Heavy shit is for Twitter. Camsites are for forgetting about the heavy shit for a bit and getting your rocks off. Some models are cool discussing heavy topics, but most of us prefer to keep things light because people are in our rooms to RELAX. I talk mad politics IRL and on Twitter, but on cam, it's no politics, just chilling and fellas getting off.

This. Seriously, wtf? Worse than coming in during an oil or cumshow then getting all pissed off because the model doesn't answer your question about how she's doing.

Sometimes, people really need to learn to STFU and just enjoy.

 

[MarieElise]

The topic I was talking to her about, I also talked to my friends irl about it so yeah. It's kinda a normal conversation, like literally but something made her very emotional. If I knew that would happen I wouldn't talk about it, but I'm pretty comfortable that if I talked to everyone on here, most people would not react like that.



I started talking about how the weather looks nice seeing snow, then she said she hates snow and wants summer. Then, I was talking about the effects of severe bush fires near my area due to extremely high temperatures (global record ones) and people igniting the area. It's been very severe close by and has lasted for quite sometime. I talked about some of the animals that I know died, so I was not so happy when she asked how are you. Then I talked about how a friend of mine had to evacuate her house, because the fires basically destroyed her house. She didn't ban me by the way, just found out today.

I disagree with you that most people would not be upset by that. Lots may not let it show, but it is a very upsetting topic, that would upset many. Friends irl let us get away with more. I have all kinds of friends that vent about all kinds of negative shit on the daily, but that's a totally different context. If someone asks how you are in a public group camming context, and you are not that great, it's customary to respond "can't complain" if it's not in a 1 on 1 setting. It kills the room, like people said. Lots of people use camming and entertainment as an escape, to feel better.

 

[Danigirl]

If you do anything to kill my mood or the vibe in the room, I’m muting/banning you. Especially if you arent tipping. That should be common sense. It’s being a party pooper. I don’t want shit in my room.

 

[NotYou]

Proper response if a model asks how you are: I am doing great thanks. How are you?
We all have lots of shitty things happening to us and would surely love to discuss all kinds of things including world tragedies, but there are a time and place. The only really acceptable is if you know the model very well and she genuinely doesn't mind but with that model, you would always know. But with that said, even then you shouldn't just try/assume, as it's their work. It's already difficult for models to have to put up with everything else and keep a smile on their faces, and bringing up sad/depressing topics does not help one bit.

Too many times I have seen guys come into public chat (granted usually greys) and start saying how sad, depressed and lonely they are. Which ok, is very sad to see/hear, I - and the model - are not heartless BUT an adult camsite is not the place. If you are feeling anything like this there are appropriate websites. I usually assume that some are just doing it to try to get a sympathy PM, or sympathy flash or something.. but I do think some are legit.


ANyway: always say you're doing great or "ok" or something when asked. They don't need our buttload of problems on top of their own stresses.


Edit:
Offline tip as much as you can do, and add a note apologizing. Let her know you won't do anything like it again. Then when she is next on don't even mention it, let HER mention it and THEN you say sorry again. otherwise, if you bring it up first even as a sorry, you're reigniting those tears.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Heavy topics aren't for cam rooms--unless the model initiates it and welcomes that sort of discussion. Especially when most of the cam models I know are massive animal lovers. There is SO much coverage of all the sad, tragedies happening in the world right now in the news--believe me, as people who work online we know what is going on. Like wtf. I'd be pissed if someone just unloaded all of that while I'm trying to maintain a happy,fun environment and work.

You DID do something wrong --you must have felt that way since you initially didn't mention what you said and blamed it on her "having close ties to it resulting in being upset". Plenty of things no one has experienced personally has the capacity to upset someone. Death/Politics/Destruction will upset the average person. I don't even feel comfortable talking about those things while on cam even if someone is paying me.

 

[Parking]

Dude, wtf? You take an emotional shit in a model's room and are surprised when she gets upset? No wonder you get banned all the time. Heavy shit is for Twitter. Camsites are for forgetting about the heavy shit for a bit and getting your rocks off. Some models are cool discussing heavy topics, but most of us prefer to keep things light because people are in our rooms to RELAX. I talk mad politics IRL and on Twitter, but on cam, it's no politics, just chilling and fellas getting off.

Yeah, I realised it was my fault because many people on here arrived at basically the same conclusion. I just usually talk whatever goes in my head. I'm pretty spontaneous and don't make bs or lie, but anyways, what you said makes sense.

Dude I know it's topical, but depressing. I'd straight up ban you if you came into my room discussing depressing traumatic events casually. Killing my mood and the rest of my rooms.

I have to admit I'm not the greatest in choosing what to talk about at times. For me, it's pretty normal to talk about anything irrespective of time, unless it can embarass someone if I said it at a specified moment. I talk pretty realistic stuff, so yeah. But your reasoning is totally right, my bad. P.S If I somehow end up in your room, I wont talk about these kind of stuff hopefully.

I disagree with you that most people would not be upset by that. Lots may not let it show, but it is a very upsetting topic, that would upset many. Friends irl let us get away with more. I have all kinds of friends that vent about all kinds of negative shit on the daily, but that's a totally different context. If someone asks how you are in a public group camming context, and you are not that great, it's customary to respond "can't complain" if it's not in a 1 on 1 setting. It kills the room, like people said. Lots of people use camming and entertainment as an escape, to feel better.

I appreciate you giving me some advice on how to respond with the how are you thing. I just talk and respond freely, but I'll keep it a bit cool now.

 

[DoD404]

so, maybe a good answer to your other thread there

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/reasons-to-why-you-might-block-certain-viewers.35340/#post-1036319

you're supposed watching a *show* with somebody you don't know, not to kill that show by exposing what is in your mind.

 

[imthedev]

You can offline tip or maybe buy her something off her wishlist on Amazon. Also, expressing to her that you understand you have your shortcomings and overstepped your boundary by touching on a subject that should have been ignored. Good luck!