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AmberCutie's Forum
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Maren
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- Jul 23, 2017
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I don't think it's necessary to talk about right away. Who you talk to on the internet and what you fap to is private information. If someone I just started dating expressed any sort of concern over my personal internet usage, I would see it as a red flag.
It might be worth mentioning if things get serious. But only if the topic comes up. Some people equate watching porn and flirting with people on the internet with cheating. Don't lie about it. Some people only consent to sex if they believe their partner is loyal to them, and peoples' definitions of loyalty differ. But if the topic never comes up, I don't see a need to bring it up. If you move in together, intermingle your finances, and start working towards common goals; you might want to bring it up because at that point it would actually impact your SO as well. If your SO finds out about it themselves they might think you've been hiding it from them.
It might be worth mentioning if things get serious. But only if the topic comes up. Some people equate watching porn and flirting with people on the internet with cheating. Don't lie about it. Some people only consent to sex if they believe their partner is loyal to them, and peoples' definitions of loyalty differ. But if the topic never comes up, I don't see a need to bring it up. If you move in together, intermingle your finances, and start working towards common goals; you might want to bring it up because at that point it would actually impact your SO as well. If your SO finds out about it themselves they might think you've been hiding it from them.
LaceyRoyce
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- Feb 7, 2011
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Whenever you're having the conversation about expectations and monogamy/fidelity type stuff. Usually that's when you go from casually dating to committing to being a couple.
It is something you should mention. When you make assumptions, I've learned the hard way.. that someone should be fine with this or whatever.. it rarely goes well. I really think its super important to talk about like, porn habits, camgirls, masturbation habits, what type of flirting is assumed to be ok/not ok, what kind of contact with ex's is ok.. etc. It's important to know and agree on boundries, and then stick to them. My parents marriage works because they know the boundaries. The boundaries seem insane to me (flirting, porn, etc would all be a no-no) but they are committed to each other and to their boundries so ..their relationship works.
As to whether you 'should' be ok with giving them up or not, i'd argue that maybe it's a sign of incompatibility if you have vastly different views about what is and isn't cheating. If you think it should be cool to visit any kind of sex worker, and she thinks camgirls and stripclubs are ok but no full service sex workers.. then that might be easier to compromise on. But if she's gonna slap you for looking too long at a fitness commercial (Duke's ex wife did this to him) and you like to go to strip clubs and take camgirls private.. that might be a red flag.
It is something you should mention. When you make assumptions, I've learned the hard way.. that someone should be fine with this or whatever.. it rarely goes well. I really think its super important to talk about like, porn habits, camgirls, masturbation habits, what type of flirting is assumed to be ok/not ok, what kind of contact with ex's is ok.. etc. It's important to know and agree on boundries, and then stick to them. My parents marriage works because they know the boundaries. The boundaries seem insane to me (flirting, porn, etc would all be a no-no) but they are committed to each other and to their boundries so ..their relationship works.
As to whether you 'should' be ok with giving them up or not, i'd argue that maybe it's a sign of incompatibility if you have vastly different views about what is and isn't cheating. If you think it should be cool to visit any kind of sex worker, and she thinks camgirls and stripclubs are ok but no full service sex workers.. then that might be easier to compromise on. But if she's gonna slap you for looking too long at a fitness commercial (Duke's ex wife did this to him) and you like to go to strip clubs and take camgirls private.. that might be a red flag.
JessaBella
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JessaBella
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