Dating as a camgirl

[Camgirl22]

Caming effected my last bf, we dated for two years until he ended it. I think my cam job caused him to view me poorly. Fellas would you date a cam girl? Girls do you feel judged and stigmatized in the dating scene?

 

[Entertainer33]

I'd date a cam girl. I'd date a barista. I'd date a sewage engineer. If we click, we click.

I will not, however, date a badger. Too dangerous.

 

[Tristyn]

Lots of us are happily dating or in long-term relationships. Dating a camgirl isn't for everyone, and that can make the dating world tricky to navigate sometimes, but it's definitely not impossible.

 

[eyeteach]

Absolutely. Wait. are you asking me out on a date?!?!?!? YES!!!! Ummm, I mean this is so sudden...

 

[LilyBlueBBW]

A good income is much harder to come by than a relationship. I am not going to stop doing what i want and what makes me money to please someone who might leave me tomorrow. I dont believe in having a spouse's opinion when it comes to this line of work. I really cant stand the girls who say they wont cam up because their boyfriends dont like it, that fucking irks me. I suppose your boyfriend wont like being on the street and hungry but that's what happens when you dont use common sense in this industry. I would respect a partner's opinion if i have been with that person for a few weeks. However if we have been fucking for a few months without any sort of commitment, shut the fuck up and let me get this money. I always wanted to date a mobster, i wonder how they feel about this line of work.

 

[EllaGray]

Honestly I've chosen to stop dating entirely because way too many guys literally want me to subsidize everything so they can "tolerate" my job.

These days I let my career and ambitions be my companion. Its infinitely better that way. I'm not saying you can't be happy, but I know that what I would demand in a guy, very few are willing to actually be or do that. You can be perfectly fulfilled without a partner. And to echo @LexyLyn90 a good income is much harder to come by than a relationship. Preach girl. Also, a good income can open doors that very few relationships can.

 

[Nymph3tte]

If my boyfriend and I break up, I don't think I will date again until my career in sex work is over.

I think it is entirely possible to find someone who understands and is completely okay with your line of work. There are some decent guys out there! However, the key word here is some. Because trust me, a lot of them will think that you'll want to have sex all the time because of what you do and a lot of them will hinder your ability to make money because of... feelings, or whatever.

For example, I've had amazing opportunities to cam with other girls, but I had to say no to all of them because my boyfriend thinks it would distance us if I cammed with other people, even if there was no sex involved. I could have lots of fun and make hella bank, but I can't because I'm tied down and every relationship comes with its own set of rules, unfortunately.

So honestly, girl... Don't worry about the men. Worry about the money. Hustle as hard as you can before someone comes along, makes you fall in love and then closes doors for you.

 

[Mikey_P]

Short-term yes; long-term probably not.

 

[BiancaBaker]

Short-term yes; long-term probably not.

I don't understand your issues with camgirls/clip makers if your on this forum. This isn't the first time you have knocked this job.

If you love a person why does it matter what there job is? You fall in love with someone's personality and the way they are. Most of us who do this are loving, caring, determined, successful, beautiful, have awesome personalities and can be badass business women. That is a lot of awesome characteristics in a person. Not to mention being at home if you decide to have a family, flexible schedule and the ability to be there. There is nothing wrong with dating a sex worker and it's guys like this that make camgirls who are single not want to date. There are guys out there that are amazing and will support you. Not every guy is cut out to date a camgirl or sex worker and if a guy feels this way fuck them.

 

[Mikey_P]

I don't understand your issues with camgirls/clip makers if your on this forum. This isn't the first time you have knocked this job.

You are expressing your feelings about what I have said in the past, which is not actually accurately stating what i have said. All I've done is express the same long-term concerns that some models have expressed themselves. My only sin is that I'm a member and not a model and as such some think that my job is to agree with them. Nope, my real job is like marketing, coding and dealing with BS

 

[Camgirl]

No issues for me. Happily in a LTR.

Obviously, there are men/women out there who are not comfortable with their partner being a SW. There are also plenty of men/women out there that are. There are many happily married/involved SW's on this forum.

 

[Gen]

I don't think saying you wouldn't date someone because of their job (a job that at least most girls on here take seriously and which forms a pretty important part of their identity) is insulting, really. I wouldn't date a boxer or MMA fighter because of their job. Not because I have a huge moral obligation to it (maybe a little one) but because it comes with aspects that make me uncomfortable. And if it was all about morals then I wouldn't want to date them and they wouldn't want to date me probably so all in all, no loss for either of us.

I am glad for people who are willing to date sex workers but there are a lot of unique situations that arise from that and I think it's almost wilfully ignorant to act like those things are irrelevant. Not everyone is 100% gung ho on their partner being naked online, or sharing intimate moments with other people, or whatever. I know Mikey has made other posts in the past but I think acting as if they're wrong for having different priorities or values is kind of uncool.

Overall really my point is I like when members answer honestly on these posts haha, it doesn't make me scared to date but it makes me glad for honesty.

 

[Violet Dawn]

I wouldn't be able to date a guy who did certain jobs. I'd just be upset if my boyfriend would rather me be starving and homeless than doing sex work. Or anyone's boyfriend/girlfriend really. It just bothers me that someone would feel that way.

Anyway, I feel like a majority of dudes don't want to date a girl who is a cam girl. And I don't mean to be rude when I say this, but I feel like the ones who don't mind tend to be the better partner's anyway. Not saying I think that guys who don't approve are bad partners.

I think of it like this, odds are it's not going to be a piece of cake finding a dude(or woman) who is an amazing match for you to begin with. If you want to be a cam girl it's kind of a quick way to weed out the ones who aren't for you. Because if they don't want to date a cam girl, they don't have the same values you do. (Again, not trying to say this makes them a bad person, just makes them different) I think having similar values in a relationship is extremely important. Maybe y'all can be friends. :3

 

[DonaDiabla]

I have dated and even gotten engaged a few times as a sex worker. However, I dated either blue-collar guys, tattoo artists, or foreign businessmen (Caribbean or West African). Now, many of my relationships were very chaste and they respected my job. However, they could have treated me that way because they knew that I am a non-nude cam model. Don't worry, you will find your prince charming who will accept you for you.

 

[Johndoe91]

To throw in my two cents, I'd be perfectly comfortable dating a camgirl/clip maker if they were always solo, or did nonsexual shows with other models. That's more because I prefer to be in a monogamous relationship, and not because I have anything against SWs though.

 

[OldHippy]

Many years ago I dated a girl who worked as an escort, I worshipped the ground that she walked on. Sure it was hard at first but it taught me a great deal, if you really love someone jealousy is something that can be overcome and it is the enemy of love. If you truly love someone you will accept them as they are, you will be happy for their success and support them.

The right person is out there for you.They will put in the effort for you, just don't settle for some who won't.

 

[LydiaFrost]

Apart from jealousy and other things that might be complicated due to being a sexworker...
I often feel like this job has given me the ability to see through a lot of bullshit from men, that i didn't really sensed before i was a sexworker and in a way this really put me off of dating.
A lot of guys on dating sites or dating in general behave exactly like annoying, entitled clients and i find myself reminded of those and get into this feeling of "pay me or go fuck off" which makes it hard.

Even though this might sound negative, i think i actually learned a lot from it and i learned what stuff i won't deal with anymore, when it comes to that, but it also shrunk the dating pool immensly.

 

[heybarkeep]

Dating as in hanging out and sleeping with the person a few times a week? Yeah, sure. Dating as in she is going to move in and we might one day get married and start a family? No. Planning on getting into politics later in life.

 

[Mikey_P]

I don't believe that love = acceptance. Acceptance in this frame instead seems to be more of a reframe.

Reframe 1: only people who accept you completely love you.
Reframe 2: I was forced into acceptance and now that has become what I associate with love.

I think this is more subjective than what love actually is but it is what some people want to believe. I just don't like that it is offered up as universal truth.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Apart from jealousy and other things that might be complicated due to being a sexworker...
I often feel like this job has given me the ability to see through a lot of bullshit from men, that i didn't really sensed before i was a sexworker and in a way this really put me off of dating.
A lot of guys on dating sites or dating in general behave exactly like annoying, entitled clients and i find myself reminded of those and get into this feeling of "pay me or go fuck off" which makes it hard.

Even though this might sound negative, i think i actually learned a lot from it and i learned what stuff i won't deal with anymore, when it comes to that, but it also shrunk the dating pool immensly.

Not negative at all. Your post was on point, because I know that I and many other cam girls feel this same way. Especially the part about seeing through a lot of bullshit from men.

 

[MojitosJourney]

I think one of the issues of dating a cam model is that it clashes poorly with people who have traditional ideas about monogamy in relationships.

If you're only comfortable with your girlfriend's body being for your eyes only, if you're only comfortable with her flirting with you alone, cumming with you alone, then dating a cam model is going to cross those boundaries. Again and again and again. She's moaning "Tom" in the room beside you and your name is "Jerry"... oh, oh.

No one should feel like a jerk for being uncomfortable with dating a cam model. Some people just prefer total monogamy.

I do agree this can make it super hard for cam models to date. I even saw a girl on myfreecams make a "dating application" because she decided it would probably be easier to find someone comfortable with her work if she met them at her work, on a cam site. I am curious if this has worked out for her.

 

[JoleneBrody]

There are a LOT of lifestyle issues that could come up when dating a sex worker that are not frequently experienced otherwise.
It's ignorant to think jealousy or monogamy are the only possible complications.

On that note, I would say the percentage of models in happy relationships is higher than single models by far.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

On that note, I would say the percentage of models in happy relationships is higher than single models by far.

I really believe that camming and forms of sex work, forces you to learn communication skills you might not have to otherwise in relationships. It means you HAVE to talk about stuff that you might not otherwise. BDSM does the same thing for me, and most other forms of non-traditional relationships (polyamory, etc) create the same thing. When relationships are no longer following the normal accepted way things are done in society/culture, all of a sudden we stop assuming what our partners think/feel and we start talking. And when we start talking, we make happier relationships.

/musings

 

[Morgan Elise]

I really believe that camming and forms of sex work, forces you to learn communication skills you might not have to otherwise in relationships.

This! I'm married and we have been together for almost 10 years. I started camming earlier this year. It's definitely been a positive in my life and relationship, but it does raise questions/concerns and communication is especially important to make your SO feel like they're more important than your regs. It can be done, but you both need to be open and communicate effectively for camming to not negatively effect (affect? I can never remember ) your relationship.

 

[MojitosJourney]

There are a LOT of lifestyle issues that could come up when dating a sex worker that are not frequently experienced otherwise.
It's ignorant to think jealousy or monogamy are the only possible complications.

If this was in response to my comment, that is why I said, "I think one of the issues of dating a cam model is that it clashes poorly with people who have traditional ideas about monogamy in relationships."

 

[Yavin4MFC]

A lot of the qualities I'm looking for in someone I see in sex workers and cam models. Doesn't mean it would always be easy, but that's what communication is for. I've gone through so many complete friend and social group shakeups because of changing views and careers that the stigma doesn't much bother me anymore, as my own day job is a deal-breaker for many already. It took me a long time, but ultimately I know I'm looking for someone who is a full partner who is strong where I'm weak and weak where I'm strong. In short...yeah, I think I would, and I know how valuable that relationship would be to each of us.

 

[Serenity_Tam]

Camming was the best thing for dating for me.
I was easily able to weed out those I deemed too insecure. (I don't like boys seeing your boobs. I don't like you making more $ than me)
Those with different value systems. (SW is bad!)
And it made it obvious who the gross people were. (oh you do nudies! Can i get a free show hurhurhurderp. I cant believe people pay for that!)

Sw has made me more direct and better at communicating and helping others communicate. Sure it makes the dating pool smaller, but thats better in the long term so I don't end up with someone I will find out later is incompatible.

 

[JoleneBrody]

If this was in response to my comment, that is why I said, "I think one of the issues of dating a cam model is that it clashes poorly with people who have traditional ideas about monogamy in relationships."

It wasn't specifically talking to you at all, or else I would have quoted you. Citing jealousy and non-monagamy as the primary issue is so common but I think personally that their are a ton of other issues that aren't often considered.

Our hours, emotional toll of such personal work during slow times, the likely hood that you will have to lie to your family/friends/random strangers about what your spouse does... etc...
There are just so many things about living in this world, which a spouse will, that a reasonable majority of people just wont be able to handle, even if they are super non-monogamous.

 

[Mikey_P]

Sex work improving dating-- simply means that now you have a set of criteria to apply to the dating pool that helps you end up with someone who is a better fit. Also, it forces honest communication.

The focused-out takeaway from this is that everyone needs a bespoke set of criteria to apply to the dating pool that can narrow down the right kind of person and that communication is the best form of relationship maintenance.

 

[summerale]

I would date a cam model, no big deal to me.