Curious to know

[Jim Morrison]

I have been talking to a model for about 4 or 5 months now. After a month or so talking we became "friends ". I'm just curious to know if you all feel this is a legit online friendship or BS.
I don't tip her for sexual things...my choice it just doesn't feel right to me.
I do send pics and have on occasion taken her private to let her have a 30min nap because I know she works 2 jobs.
She has never asked me for money....I have by my choice sent her money.
I have what she says is her personal messaging app but she has deleted her contact info and full name.
I've seen her passport and I know her first name but she hid her last.
We have shared many photos and I have no doubt they include pics of her family.
We contact each other almost everyday.
I'm in the states and she is in Russia so the whole phone and address issue is a non issue due to the sanctions. I couldn't use them if I wanted to.
My issue is this.
She is reluctant and has not offered her last name or address.
She has shared personal information and feelings with me...are they true I don't know.
We were supposed to meet but she said she can't leave the country because she was drafted. I know that woman can leave the country and have not been drafted...unless they were trained in a job the military needed, which she is.
I just can't tell if because I've sent money and buy her time away from camera she's playing me or are we truly friends.
It's just such a different relationship than I've ever had. She claims she trust me and I feel she does to a point.
Currently my plan is to not send money or go to her shows, I actually haven't been to a show in a long time due to scheduling issues, and see how she reacts.
We both have made it clear that this is no more than friends. I've taken any and all sex related talk and issues out of this.
She did at one point ask me if I had "other girls" on the site. I told her I did talk and send pics but no sex pics and we didn't talk about anything I wouldn't talk publicly about. I asked her why and she said she noticed I was online one night late, early for me, and that my level had gone up.
Shit that is long!! Sorry...so friends or no friends? Thanks in advance really.

 

[Deleted member 64633]

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/in-love-with-a-cam-girl-the-collection-of-threads.36372/

 

[Jim Morrison]

Thanks. I've read both sides that some models form actual friendships,even romantic relationships, through cam sites. There is no falling in love in my case, not romantically anyways. I just can't figure out if our "friendship" is genuine or not. Thanks and I'll read more of the post you suggested. So far I feel I have followed what has been outlined. When I mentioned I took her private for a nap I always asked her first so as to not disturb any earnings. When I say I'm leaving she asked me to stay...even when I told her I was taking time from other viewers. I'm going to just back off and see how it goes. I value true friends and if indeed we are I don't want to mess that up.

 

[AudriTwo]

You could stop tipping her completely and taking her to private for a month. See if she treats you exactly same.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

I have been talking to a model for about 4 or 5 months now. After a month or so talking we became "friends ". I'm just curious to know if you all feel this is a legit online friendship or BS.
I don't tip her for sexual things...my choice it just doesn't feel right to me.
I do send pics and have on occasion taken her private to let her have a 30min nap because I know she works 2 jobs.
She has never asked me for money....I have by my choice sent her money.
I have what she says is her personal messaging app but she has deleted her contact info and full name.
I've seen her passport and I know her first name but she hid her last.
We have shared many photos and I have no doubt they include pics of her family.
We contact each other almost everyday.
I'm in the states and she is in Russia so the whole phone and address issue is a non issue due to the sanctions. I couldn't use them if I wanted to.
My issue is this.
She is reluctant and has not offered her last name or address.
She has shared personal information and feelings with me...are they true I don't know.
We were supposed to meet but she said she can't leave the country because she was drafted. I know that woman can leave the country and have not been drafted...unless they were trained in a job the military needed, which she is.
I just can't tell if because I've sent money and buy her time away from camera she's playing me or are we truly friends.
It's just such a different relationship than I've ever had. She claims she trust me and I feel she does to a point.
Currently my plan is to not send money or go to her shows, I actually haven't been to a show in a long time due to scheduling issues, and see how she reacts.
We both have made it clear that this is no more than friends. I've taken any and all sex related talk and issues out of this.
She did at one point ask me if I had "other girls" on the site. I told her I did talk and send pics but no sex pics and we didn't talk about anything I wouldn't talk publicly about. I asked her why and she said she noticed I was online one night late, early for me, and that my level had gone up.
Shit that is long!! Sorry...so friends or no friends? Thanks in advance really.

You are paying for friendship.

 

[Jim Morrison]

You could stop tipping her completely and taking her to private for a month. See if she treats you exactly same.

I haven't done this in over a month actually. I don't want to pressure her in any way I just have this gut feeling that not everything she is telling me is the truth. She has admitted that she has trust issues and that I know her better than most. It's made more complicated by the cultural differences and language barrier.

You could stop tipping her completely and taking her to private for a month. See if she treats you exactly same.

 

[Jim Morrison]

You are paying for friendship.

I don't want to believe that but that is what I'm trying to figure out. I have helped her with money but not much and I haven't for about 2 months now. I'm not lonely by any means I have several very close friends. I value true friends and we seemed to connect and if indeed it is real I don't want to ruin it. I'm in agreement though I'm not doing anything more than texting for another few months and see how she reacts.

 

[inertvolcano]

I don't get what you're trying to get out of this situation. Sounds like you have the companionship of a person you like and you're driving yourself crazy acting like it's some mystery to solve rather than appreciating it for what it is. Know the saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it?" If you're getting something out of it and you don't mind paying her, which it sounds like you don't considering you bought naps(?), then why mess with it? Keep paying the woman and enjoy her company, and if you want a friendship that you don't have to investigate or treat like a puzzle or pay for then find some groups in your area connected to hobbies you enjoy like birdwatching or knitting or whatever.

And I'm sorry, I now this is Ask a Model and I'm not a model, but I've had some personal experiences with this and have come around to the repeated maxim on this forum of "use the sites for their intended purpose." There's less weirdness and tragedy that way.

 

[AudriTwo]

I haven't done this in over a month actually. I don't want to pressure her in any way I just have this gut feeling that not everything she is telling me is the truth. She has admitted that she has trust issues and that I know her better than most. It's made more complicated by the cultural differences and language barrier.

its only complicated if you make it so.. but whatever man.

 

[Sashacurves]

Not to get too philisophical, but all relationships are transactional in a sense. So what if the transactions you have with her are more literal? The end result is the same - you both enjoy each other's company. Stop over thinking it.

 

[Jim Morrison]

I don't get what you're trying to get out of this situation. Sounds like you have the companionship of a person you like and you're driving yourself crazy acting like it's some mystery to solve rather than appreciating it for what it is. Know the saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it?" If you're getting something out of it and you don't mind paying her, which it sounds like you don't considering you bought naps(?), then why mess with it? Keep paying the woman and enjoy her company, and if you want a friendship that you don't have to investigate or treat like a puzzle or pay for then find some groups in your area connected to hobbies you enjoy like birdwatching or knitting or whatever.

And I'm sorry, I now this is Ask a Model and I'm not a model, but I've had some personal experiences with this and have come around to the repeated maxim on this forum of "use the sites for their intended purpose." There's less weirdness and tragedy that way.

To explain the nap thing. She works 2 jobs and if she is slow on camming I have offered 2 or 3 times to take her private for 30min or so just to relax, rest whatever. I don't bother her it's her time. I personally want to keep the sex separate from the friends...that's all me.
And you're right it doesn't seem to be broken but it's not like other close friendships I have either. I'm just trying use other people's experiences to sort it out. As I mentioned there are cultural differences the way we phrase things is at times different. Our biggest problems have all been just in the way we phrase things to each other....so far. Thanks for the input I do appreciate it.

 

[Omne35]

To explain the nap thing. She works 2 jobs and if she is slow on camming I have offered 2 or 3 times to take her private for 30min or so just to relax, rest whatever. I don't bother her it's her time. I personally want to keep the sex separate from the friends...that's all me.
And you're right it doesn't seem to be broken but it's not like other close friendships I have either. I'm just trying use other people's experiences to sort it out. As I mentioned there are cultural differences the way we phrase things is at times different. Our biggest problems have all been just in the way we phrase things to each other....so far. Thanks for the input I do appreciate it.

There are questions about lots of friends we have in real life. We can't, as far as I know, read minds. Take it for what it is and assume you're friends until proven otherwise. It's going to end at some point so does it really matter? Enjoy it for what it is and don't bother looking behind the curtain.

 

[misterical]

This subject has been kicked to death in numerous other threads, including one I myself started. I think it's possible to be friends with a model, others will say it isn't. Both views are valid. I also don't think it's incompatible to have a friend who is a model who you occasionally pay money to in order to go private and get your rocks off. You are paying for a service and she is delivering that service. Quid pro quo. Nobody is being scammed.

Where it starts to get dangerous is when you start paying for other things. Broken washing machine.... Her hamster has hamster cancer and needs a pouch transplant.... Grandma is ill and the sanctions means she can't get aspirin..... etc. Sounds a bit like you've started to go down that wormhole. I've been friends with a model for nearly 6 months and she's never once given me a sob story asking me for money or felt the need to send me a photo of her passport for instance. That's odd. Sending you a photo of identification documents seems like trying too hard to convince you she is genuine.

As others have said, don't overthink it, but don't underthink it either. Don't tie yourself in emotional knots but proceed with common sense and caution. The way I've done it is to keep the financial part within the confines of what can be offered on the site. I do send things outside of that, but not money - flowers and chocolates have been sent - just keep it to personal gifts that show your appreciation, and only if she is comfortable with that although I'm guessing that sending goods in Russia is a non-starter at this point.

Also, be careful not to misinterpret the question about whether you visit other models as an indicator that she is jealous because she is in love with you. I'm led to believe it's a common trick used by more unscrupulous models to ensure that your tokens go to them and them alone, so watch that.

Last point is to reiterate what Omne35 said. It will end at some point. That is the only absolutely guaranteed event in this kind of situation. It's not sustainable long term. So just live in the moment and enjoy it for what it is.

 

[misterical]

And just one more thing, I've yet to see a thread where a member "paid her to have a rest" that ever ended well. That's like step one on the back tattoo journey. Pay her, get her naked, have a wank. That's a much simpler and more equal transaction that will lead to less recriminations when you do have the inevitable fall out.

 

[mika_kedi]

About nap breaks - sleeping on cam is against the rules of most cam sites. Even in private. If/when she gets caught she might permanently lose her account.

 

[cbhours]

This subject has been kicked to death in numerous other threads, including one I myself started. I think it's possible to be friends with a model, others will say it isn't. Both views are valid. I also don't think it's incompatible to have a friend who is a model who you occasionally pay money to in order to go private and get your rocks off. You are paying for a service and she is delivering that service. Quid pro quo. Nobody is being scammed.

The way I've done it is to keep the financial part within the confines of what can be offered on the site. I do send things outside of that, but not money - flowers and chocolates have been sent - just keep it to personal gifts that show your appreciation, and only if she is comfortable with that although I'm guessing that sending goods in Russia is a non-starter at this point.

Also, be careful not to misinterpret the question about whether you visit other models as an indicator that she is jealous because she is in love with you. I'm led to believe it's a common trick used by more unscrupulous models to ensure that your tokens go to them and them alone, so watch that.

Last point is to reiterate what Omne35 said. It will end at some point. That is the only absolutely guaranteed event in this kind of situation. It's not sustainable long term. So just live in the moment and enjoy it for what it is.

They aren't unicorns of course people can be friends with models. I've never sent or received flowers and chocolates to any of them unless i'm aiming to be more than friends. Your friend is colombian right? maybe im mixing up people but in the future you can try "desayuno sorpresas" as there are many of those that send a far less romantic message.

Oh it's definitely not a trick for some, many really are jealous but it doesn't mean they care about you. xD

I must be missing something with this "friends" business, if we are really talking just friends why isn't it sustainable? I have many friends in this industry that i've known for many years some of which left the industry a while back.

 

[AudriTwo]

About nap breaks - sleeping on cam is against the rules of most cam sites. Even in private. If/when she gets caught she might permanently lose her account.

yeah its too risky.

if you want your model friend to take a break, tip her the amount she needs to log off. i had a dude who would tip me until i reached my goal in minutes so i could fuck off cam.

 

[Jim Morrison]

About nap breaks - sleeping on cam is against the rules of most cam sites. Even in private. If/when she gets caught she might permanently lose her account.

Maybe I shouldn't have used nap as she never slept just relaxed.

 

[Jim Morrison]

Ok I think I have what I was after. Thanks for the input.

 

[misterical]

They aren't unicorns of course people can be friends with models. I've never sent or received flowers and chocolates to any of them unless i'm aiming to be more than friends. Your friend is colombian right? maybe im mixing up people but in the future you can try "desayuno sorpresas" as there are many of those that send a far less romantic message.

Oh it's definitely not a trick for some, many really are jealous but it doesn't mean they care about you. xD

I must be missing something with this "friends" business, if we are really talking just friends why isn't it sustainable? I have many friends in this industry that i've known for many years some of which left the industry a while back.

I know they aren't unicorns. I was referring to the perceived wisdom on this forum that it's not something that can happen. In terms of sending flowers and chocolates, I treat it as more like showing appreciation to a beautiful woman rather than anything romantic. I know the desayonus sorpresas things you mean. Unfortunately, the ones I've seen can be a bit tacky. Helium teddy bear balloons and flowers with packs of M&Ms and Hershey bars stuffed into them. They are often overpriced and provided by US based gift services who overcharge you by a ridiculous amount. With a bit of basic Spanish and access to the internet, it's very easy to deal with local providers who provide high quality, very inexpensive, amazing products. One place where Colombia has the jump on the rest of the world is the proliferation of Whatsapp. Pretty much every company from florists to chocolatiers to food delivery services all have an instant link to Whatsapp and you can usually speak to a real person within seconds. A level of service you don't find in other countries. But I digress.

In terms of why it's not sustainable. My view would be that it's a finite timeline. If you interact only in a cam room and don't have any involvement outside of that then the conversation runs the risk of turning stale pretty quickly. Then there's the complication of paying for stuff. How sustainable is that longer term? Will he want more? And that's before you deal with the potential for jealousy. You need to be pretty secure in yourself to have that kind of friendship in my opinion.

 

[misterical]

Ok I think I have what I was after. Thanks for the input.

Good luck. It's not impossible. Just don't fall in love because that's when (ironically) you get fucked.

 

[Jim Morrison]

Ok I need to redirect this conversation. She is in Russia so sending ANYTHING is pretty much a no go. I can send money however. I've not sent her much and I offered it was not asked for.
Also it has been made clear that this is a friends only relationship. We both know this.
I chose to not ask for sexual performance not her. I have my personal reasons for that.
I have gained so new perspective however from the post here. Thanks

 

[misterical]

Ok I need to redirect this conversation. She is in Russia so sending ANYTHING is pretty much a no go. I can send money however. I've not sent her much and I offered it was not asked for.
Also it has been made clear that this is a friends only relationship. We both know this.
I chose to not ask for sexual performance not her. I have my personal reasons for that.
I have gained so new perspective however from the post here. Thanks

It was the money bit that worried me when I read your original post. There's nothing wrong with sending money to a friend, but generally that rule applies to a long standing friend in real life. A girl on the internet, half a world away, whose surname you don't know? Not a good idea regardless of who asked/offered.

 

[mika_kedi]

A girl on the internet, half a world away, whose surname you don't know? Not a good idea regardless of who asked/offered.

Except this girl on the internet is working and they primarly (only?) interact with each other in her workplace.

 

[Jim Morrison]

I have 2 female friends I know very well and I'm the type who gifts my very close friends. What sent was not that much and if I could, and I tried, I would have sent gifts. Someone made a remark about her using her passport to appear legit. The story on that is I sent her part of the money for it and asked her to show it to me to share in her excitement. My concern here is of I'm the one creating trust issues. I think the vote is split. I have never formed amore than a user relationship before and as others have pointed out we are enjoying what we have. I just am hoping that the feed back will maybe point out something I've not thought of. As for paying her to perform.....I don't, I can't pay a close friend to do something they are doing because they are in a rough spot. That's not friendship that's exploitation to me.
I know a sex fiend with morals...lol

 

[Jim Morrison]

Except this girl on the internet is working and they primarly (only?) interact with each other in her workplace.

We also Skype and telegram...her personal account. Actually I don't attend her broadcast much at all.

 

[misterical]

Except this girl on the internet is working and they primarly (only?) interact with each other in her workplace.

I read it as him sending her money outside of the site.

 

[misterical]

I have 2 female friends I know very well and I'm the type who gifts my very close friends. What sent was not that much and if I could, and I tried, I would have sent gifts. Someone made a remark about her using her passport to appear legit. The story on that is I sent her part of the money for it and asked her to show it to me to share in her excitement. My concern here is of I'm the one creating trust issues. I think the vote is split. I have never formed amore than a user relationship before and as others have pointed out we are enjoying what we have. I just am hoping that the feed back will maybe point out something I've not thought of. As for paying her to perform.....I don't, I can't pay a close friend to do something they are doing because they are in a rough spot. That's not friendship that's exploitation to me.
I know a sex fiend with morals...lol

I think just be careful. I don't think blithely sending money is great for you or for her self esteem. Only you will know how genuine the friendship is I guess but just because you offered the money as opposed to being asked, doesn't mean you shouldn't see red flags. Nobody who was ever scammed ever felt they were being scammed initially. They always realise too late.

If on the other hand you can continue with no money changing hands, or just reasonable tips within the confines of how the site operates, then just enjoy what you have.

 

[Jim Morrison]

And this is why I posted, to get an uninvolved opinion. I'm by no means a pushover but as you said nobody thinks it's a scam until....

Thank you very much. I think I'm going to follow the school of though to not send money and just enjoy it and see where it goes.

 

[AmberCutie]

not send money and just enjoy it and see where it goes.

I think that's your best plan.