Can a model and a member really be friends?

[MFCTay]

This is something i've wanted to write about for awhile but have never gotten a model's opinion.

Can a model and a member truly be friends outside of MFC? Will you always see a member as someone always seeing you in a sexual manor?

This really relates to a male members specifically...i know its pretty easy to be offline friends with female members.

Thanks! :-D

 

[AngelicTease]

I have someone who's came to my room for over a year now, pretty much since I started MFC, and I see him as a really good friend and even plan to meet him soon.
But I've never really spoken to him about sexual stuff, we mostly talk about food, toilet roll and goats/farm animals haha. I think it'd be different if he like always talked about getting horny seeing me naked and stuff like that.

I think it's more possible for a model and member to be friends if they're not using each other for anything. Like, if the model wasn't just friends coz she was after money and didn't really think of him as a friend, and if the guy wasn't just being super nice to try and get free stuff.

This probably makes bugger all sense coz I'm super sleepy but whatever I've typed it out now so might as well post it.


Haha I think I might have missed the point, but actually we are friends outside of MFC so the above is still right! He has my personal phone number, my husbands number, my address, knows my real name and I talk to him by text/msn all the time. I trust him with lots of stuff I probably shouldn't do haha. But I'm a total loner and apart from my husband I have no other friends, so it's nice to have someone else on my phone, someone else to text and talk to.

 

[Anonymous]

This is something i've wanted to write about for awhile but have never gotten a model's opinion.

Can a model and a member truly be friends outside of MFC? Will you always see a member as someone always seeing you in a sexual manor?

This really relates to a male members specifically...i know its pretty easy to be offline friends with female members.

Thanks! :-D

I'm not sure about this one. In most cases, I'd say that it's not a good idea to get emotionally attached to members of MFC...whether it be as good friends or as "more than friends." I can think of two occasions where I became close friends with members from MFC (both guys were regulars and big tippers), and at one point I gave them both my phone number. We talked all the time - on MFC and outside of MFC - and I think I even hooked them up with free pictures and videos that I made other guys tip for. Eventually the one guy stopped coming to my room, and the other guy claimed that his obsession with me wasn't healthy, and that his constant fantasizing about me wasn't the "Christian" way to live, and it looks like he's left MFC altogether. *sigh*

Guy A just recently started texting me again and PMing me on MFC (but he's logging in at times when I'm either offline or I'm JUST finishing a MFC shift).

I just feel like with SOME of the guys (I say 'some', not 'all'), once they've got your phone number, e-mail address, and outside-of-MFC-friendship, they feel less motivated to visit and tip you in your chat room. And if they do start thinking about you again, well now they have your contact info, so they don't really need to come visit your chat room.

So I told myself that I need to stop getting attached to these guys and having conversations with them about meeting in person. Also, I really don't know how many other models they've had these same conversations with ("I really like you..." and "We should hang out sometime...," etc.), but I think I need to stick with just communicating with them on MFC and Twitter.

The people who come to my room are more than just dollar signs to me (I care about them), but I need to remember that I joined MFC to make money while having fun and meeting/chatting with cool people ON THE INTERNET. It's probably unrealistic and naive for me to think these guys will become my best buddies for life. LOL.

I'm sorry for the long post.

 

[Rose]

i'd have to say no. every single time i've had a male "friend" on mfc they played the friend card to try and get free content or get personal info so they can harass me sexually offline. the same thing has happened in my personal life too. i've yet to meet a man who is ok with just being friends be it online or in real life.

 

[MadisonLeigh]

I have a MFC member who I genuinely enjoy talking to, and at this point I consider him an internet friend. I'm sure he obviously finds me attractive because he came in my room in the first place, but we don't flirt or talk about anything sexual. He's very respectful and non-creepy.
He doesn't have my real life info, though. He's a great guy but the way we met would make that a little uncomfortable for me.

 

[Sevrin]

The thing about friendships is that they endure. The final proof of being friends with a model would mean that you keep in touch once the model is no longer a model online and/or the perv is no longer a perv. If you're still in touch then and have a place in each other's lives, yeah, you're friends. Whatever happens until then, even if you meet IRL, you should consider yourself a "perv with benefits" and tip accordingly.

:twocents-02cents:

 

[Anonymous]

i'd have to say no. every single time i've had a male "friend" on mfc they played the friend card to try and get free content or get personal info so they can harass me sexually offline. the same thing has happened in my personal life too. i've yet to meet a man who is ok with just being friends be it online or in real life.

This. Another thing that bothers me is when a guy thinks he's entitled to your REAL name and number, just because he's tipped you and earned a spot on your friends list. I tell them that they can call me "Shelly." My real name is too unique (hard to pronounce for some), and I'm pretty sure I'm the only model on MFC with my name. I suspect that some of the guys on my friends list and/or Twitter followers list will stop visiting my chat when they realize they are NOT getting my real name and phone number. :lol: And that's fine with me, because if their goal is to get a hot girl's name and number, they need to join AdultFriendFinder or one of those other sites...not MFC.

 

[Bocefish]

The thing about friendships is that they endure. The final proof of being friends with a model would mean that you keep in touch once the model is no longer a model online and/or the perv is no longer a perv. If you're still in touch then and have a place in each other's lives, yeah, you're friends. Whatever happens until then, even if you meet IRL, you should consider yourself a "perv with benefits" and tip accordingly.

:twocents-02cents:

Totally agree. It can be somewhat awkward when you cross that friendship line and still hang out in her room.

 

[MFCTay]

So i think I can summarize everything in 2 points...

• 1. It's up to each model to make that call depending on comfort
  2. Trust is earned

:twocents-02cents:

 

[Zoomer]

Took me 6 months to ask my favourite model her real name :whistle: She couldn't believe she hadn't told me before :lol:

I'd call her a friend - we talk about anything/everything. I am entirely capable of distinguishing between friendship and, well, performance - so would have no problem being a "real friend".

I'm not sure the same is in reverse though - MFC friend, yes - but a real friend? I doubt she'd ever really be comfortable with that - it'd be nice for sure, but I don't hope and certainly don't expect. So whilst I can distinguish, who am I to her in reality? Just a guy from the internet who's seen her naked. A lot.

As for "being seen in a sexual nature" - as said - it is all about trust isn't it. I see that girl I slept with in the "sexiest thing a girl can do" thread every other day. She was, is, and remains, a good friend. I also play online chess against my ex every day, and went skiing with her for a week in January with her and her brother (4 months after we split). Why online contact mainly? Different continents
The difference is obviously in the degree of trust the lady has for the guy. Evidently not really "knowing" a guy you meet online means it is likely to be a real sensitive point of the ladies. You may get on really well, but tokens != trust.
My two friends, some of my closest friends, evidently trust me and feel comfortable around me - despite our hot, sweaty, fluid swapping antics in the past.
When I see them I don't visualise them naked. I also don't sit thinking about sex with them either. So if a guy tries to transition from MFC to a friend externally, and you are worried that he won't come to your room any longer - then it's simple. He may indeed see you as a friend, and may choose not to see you in a sexual light any more. Clearly, to you, he's just a source of tokens and boredom relief

p.s. Having said that, I kinda avoid Mellanny's room simply because she looks like my ex. Certainly the same figure - near identical in every way - just Mellanny is prettier facially. So if I see Mellanny naked, I end up thinking of my ex

 

[AmberCutie]

Took me 6 months to ask my favourite model her real name :whistle: She couldn't believe she hadn't told me before :lol:

You must have felt pretty confident about your "friendship" if you'd ask a model her real name. If my MFC friends started asking me that, I'd be pretty pissed, no matter how long we've known each other. It's going on 2 years with some of them, and they know better to ask still.

 

[Zoomer]

Took me 6 months to ask my favourite model her real name :whistle: She couldn't believe she hadn't told me before :lol:

You must have felt pretty confident about your "friendship" if you'd ask a model her real name. If my MFC friends started asking me that, I'd be pretty pissed, no matter how long we've known each other. It's going on 2 years with some of them, and they know better to ask still.

:hand: Let me clarify for what I perceive to be your overly judgemental tone

Her first name If that's still an omg thing, then oh well :whistle:
Seeing as most ladies ask that within 30 seconds... :lol:

 

[AmberCutie]

Took me 6 months to ask my favourite model her real name :whistle: She couldn't believe she hadn't told me before :lol:

You must have felt pretty confident about your "friendship" if you'd ask a model her real name. If my MFC friends started asking me that, I'd be pretty pissed, no matter how long we've known each other. It's going on 2 years with some of them, and they know better to ask still.

:hand: Let me clarify for what I perceive to be your overly judgemental tone

Her first name If that's still an omg thing, then oh well

Yeah still OMG to me, lol. Judgmental because I don't believe MFC members should ask that of MFC models. But if you do in fact have more than just a member/model friendship then by all means, scold me for my harsh tone since you are in the group I'd call "the exception to the rule".

 

[MFCTay]

Yeah still OMG to me, lol. Judgmental because I don't believe MFC members should ask that of MFC models. But if you do in fact have more than just a member/model friendship then by all means, scold me for my harsh tone since you are in the group I'd call "the exception to the rule".

How Dare you [insert scold] ..... just kidding :-D If i were a model i'd be just a cautious. You never know if a member is a "sleeper-stalker"

 

[Zoomer]

Yeah still OMG to me, lol. Judgmental because I don't believe MFC members should ask that of MFC models. But if you do in fact have more than just a member/model friendship then by all means, scold me for my harsh tone since you are in the group I'd call "the exception to the rule".

Ah, it may also be how you are with them too - quite a lot of ladies ask for your first name within the first few minutes. If they do, I think it's entirely fair to ask the same question right back.

Over the six months prior we've probably spoken about 3 or so hours per day, 3-5 days per week. The conversation is usually random chat like "normal" folks, light hearted, observational etc - but there has been enough personal stuff and interaction going both ways that I felt reasonably comfortable that in asking her name that she'd not take offence, irrespective of whether she did or didn't tell me.

It is only now I had a brief "maybe she made it up" moment though :lol:

 

[AmberCutie]

BTW I know this other thread isn't exactly the same topic, but many replies there deal with expectations on a cam site.

"The Idiot and the Camgirl"

And before Zoomer goes and thinks I meant my reply to him to sound as awful as it did, let me say that as far as I've interacted with Zoomer he's been a cool dude, so I didn't mean any disrespect. But when it comes to this topic I do feel heavily in the mindset of "this isn't a dating site, it's a cam site for girls to make money by entertaining you with their (usually) naked body so don't go poking around for more info or expect more than that". (I know you love my super wordy run-on sentence!)

I certainly have the persona on MFC that attracts regulars who interact day to day with me on a very friendly level. We chat on Twitter, sometimes on gchat with a select few, and exchange emails on occasion. But that doesn't mean that they can ask me what my real name is or other details that I purposely leave out of my MFC profile.

It's a touchy subject for me, obviously.

 

[UKgg]

Absolutely yes!

I try and draw the more intelligent ones in by being a total dick all the time, so it might not be the same for all models. But every now and then, you get one who could honestly take it or leave it. Doesn't mean they don't appreciate how adorable you look covered in baby oil with a banana in your anus, but they would rather just talk. Those are the ones that stay when you're clothed. Those are the ones that keep talking to you when you cry (Just me...? oh dear...) instead of bimbling around like a complete tool.

I met one of them and he lived in the area I was visiting, seeing my dad. So we went out to dinner to get sushi. He's AMAZING. Easily one of the most funny and interesting people I've ever met and never even hints at anything else. I've seen him twice now, and seeing him again this weekend because I don't feel uneasy around him at all.

I think, though, no matter how nice the person, general Cam Girl Based Cynicism will always haunt you. You'll always wonder if he's really just buttering you up so you trust him and then he'll announce that his true intentions are to get you to "open ur tits bb". I'd advise to not let that get in the way and unless he really DOES come on to you, don't assume he's going to.

Also! (God, I love talking...) This name thing! I understand that some models keep their details private. They don't want to give out their name and address and whatnot. I personally have never really been like that. When people ask my name, I usually answer with, " I was christened Ninja.... Jedi... Mastah.... but you can call me Ninj." But that doesn't mean I don't want them to know my name. Obviously, if it's a random who I've never even talked to before, I just won't bother answering but ... actually.. the more I think about it, the less I want to tell people.

Maybe it's having a slightly weird name. I never use my real name anyway (Tamsyn) but I'm happy to let anyone and everyone call me "Tammy". So I think my reluctance to have people call me by my real name is more because NO ONE does, rather than being uneasy that they know my name.

Sometimes, if I find a guy I really think has potential to be my cub protector, I ask him a huge list of questions. Age, weight, height, name, penis size, etc. I get them to send a picture, too! ^^ In my experience, they love it, and are happy for the attention.

 

[MFCTay]

Absolutely yes!

I try and draw the more intelligent ones in by being a total dick all the time, so it might not be the same for all models. But every now and then, you get one who could honestly take it or leave it. Doesn't mean they don't appreciate how adorable you look covered in baby oil with a banana in your anus, but they would rather just talk. Those are the ones that stay when you're clothed. Those are the ones that keep talking to you when you cry (Just me...? oh dear...) instead of bimbling around like a complete tool.

I met one of them and he lived in the area I was visiting, seeing my dad. So we went out to dinner to get sushi. He's AMAZING. Easily one of the most funny and interesting people I've ever met and never even hints at anything else. I've seen him twice now, and seeing him again this weekend because I don't feel uneasy around him at all.

I think, though, no matter how nice the person, general Cam Girl Based Cynicism will always haunt you. You'll always wonder if he's really just buttering you up so you trust him and then he'll announce that his true intentions are to get you to "open ur tits bb". I'd advise to not let that get in the way and unless he really DOES come on to you, don't assume he's going to.

Also! (God, I love talking...) This name thing! I understand that some models keep their details private. They don't want to give out their name and address and whatnot. I personally have never really been like that. When people ask my name, I usually answer with, " I was christened Ninja.... Jedi... Mastah.... but you can call me Ninj." But that doesn't mean I don't want them to know my name. Obviously, if it's a random who I've never even talked to before, I just won't bother answering but ... actually.. the more I think about it, the less I want to tell people.

Maybe it's having a slightly weird name. I never use my real name anyway (Tamsyn) but I'm happy to let anyone and everyone call me "Tammy". So I think my reluctance to have people call me by my real name is more because NO ONE does, rather than being uneasy that they know my name.

Sometimes, if I find a guy I really think has potential to be my cub protector, I ask him a huge list of questions. Age, weight, height, name, penis size, etc. I get them to send a picture, too! ^^ In my experience, they love it, and are happy for the attention.

You ask him penis size? Wonder how many are honest...

 

[JustAGuy]

I've been reading this thread and the "idiot and the camgirl" thread with great interest. I personally believe you can become good friends with a model. I've noticed a fair amount of models more or less saying "this is a fantasy, members don't lose your grip on reality, this is a job don't expect more than that from me" etc. I agree with most of these sentiments, especially in today's society where security is imperative, what I don't understand is that many of these same models get upset or angry if a member talks with different models. If it is 'just a job' as you say, then why am I expected to be exclusive to you and not visit other models?

 

[AshaSnow]

Honestly my closest MFC guy friends, the ones I would consider meeting out in the real world, are guys who I've talked to for 6 months to a year and don't spend very much money on me. I've never had a frequent high tipper I considered to be a close friend or someone I want to meet in the real world -- probably because those guys tend to be the ones "in love" or "in lust" with me the most, while the guys who I talk to a lot but don't spend money on me are the ones who see me more as a person and a friend and don't objectify or sexualize me as much. My top 3 "I would hang out with you" folks are Incetardis (never met him) and Syniical (met him once), and brave1 (never met him) -- I've known all of them more than a year and they are never involved in my shows so much as PMing about random stuff.

 

[JerMajesty]

Having met 7 MFC models irl (albeit they were working the booth at adultcon) and actually becoming friends with 1 of them outside of MFC (she no longer works as a model ,weve met up in San Francisco last month ) I can say yes its possible to be friends.

Trust and tactfulness is key. She trusted me, and I rarely spoke of MFC during my conversations with her, only when she brought it up then I chimed in , and thankfully the topics she brought up wasnt filled with sexual tension or awkward either, she asked me why I have so many pictures of myself with other models in my profile and about my manwhorish/machismo status/attitude on there :-D

Anyways thats just my :twocents-02cents: , Im one of the few lucky ones I guess :mrgreen:

(by the way, shout out to the models on this site that I got to hang out with last year in LA )

 

[Traditio]

I have someone who's came to my room for over a year now,[...] and I see him as a really good friend and even plan to meet him soon.
But I've never really spoken to him about sexual stuff,

I've known all of them more than a year and they are never involved in my shows so much as PMing about random stuff.

I have a MFC member who I genuinely enjoy talking to, and at this point I consider him an internet friend. I'm sure he obviously finds me attractive because he came in my room in the first place, but we don't flirt or talk about anything sexual.

Hmmm... so a prerequisite to become your friend is to not be interested in your sexuality?
Sounds strange as you all woman that try to be sexual attractive on mfc...
One of the things i like on mfc is that sex is not a no-no-topic - but it sounds as you are not so comfortable with the theme - at least for possible friends.

 

[MadisonLeigh]

^ No, like I said, I'm sure my MFC friend is sexually interested in me, but when we e-mail or gchat he doesn't talk about wanting to fuck me. That's why I'm able to consider him a friend, because we have conversations that have nothing to do with sex, and clearly he has some sort of interest in me that goes beyond my body. Or at least he's really good at pretending to like my personality. I feel very comfortable talking to him because he does not give off the impression that he wants our relationship to turn into a real life sexual relationship.

Of course I like when guys look at me sexually and find me attractive. If I was uncomfortable with that, I would not be a webcam model. But I like to think I'm a cool girl to talk to, as well, and it's nice when that's recognized.

 

[LadyLuna]

I expect guys to see me sexually.. but... to be friends with someone who wants me sexually is incredibly awkward for me. Probably the paranoia- in the back of my mind, anyone who wants me sexually is out to rape me. Also, my sensitivity is at fault- I feel that by being their friend when they want me sexually I am subjecting them to discomfort, which makes me uncomfortable.

However, guys who give no indication that they want me sexually can become good friends, even if deep down they do want me sexually. Even a guy who started off with the sexual chat, if he doesn't mention sex at all for six months but talks to me on a daily basis, I will forget that he once used to be all sexual. Then if he starts bringing it up the way a guy will tease with normal friends, instead of in the "I want you" sense, I will still feel comfortable.

As was said, if a guy is only ever talking about how much they want to have sex with me, obviously they only want my body, and don't make an effort to engage my mind. If my mind is not engaged, there is no way I could ever trust them.

 

[Nordling]

:lol: This conversation reminds me of the conversation between Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan in "When Harry Met Sally."

Meg: "so you're saying a man can only be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?"
Billy: "nah, he'd probably try to nail her too!"

 

[Anna_Swallows]

I want to respond to this since not only do I have the experience with being the cam girl but also as that of a former stripper. My mindset is this, this is a job and I try to have fun at it. It good money, MY HOURS, and something I enjoy for the most part. But its a job still the same. Whether I was stripping or caming, its more of a fantasy for the guys, period. Now that I cam, I am "Anna_Swallows", period, or just call me Anna. Of course this isn't my real name, you won't get my real name from me. Neither will you get my real age, my real state I reside in, if I am married, single, seeing someone, how many kids I have or even my real age. Why should the customer get that? I am a fantasy to you and will play that part on line. I didn't come on to cam looking for a man, friends or a love life. When I stripped, I would have guys try following me home. That was really scary. I am not even trying to go there with giving you my personal information when I have people in my personal life that I worry about protecting. Its best to keep your personal and cam life separate.

Now if your going to try and tell me that its more than just a job to you and you don't mind being friends with some of your customers, then I would love to hang in your room while your naked, not making any money and just chatting with your friends because they know they dont need to tip you because afterall, they are your friends. Lets see how much your smiling then when your online for "smiles".

And I did give my number 1 TIME to a customer and he did in fact quit coming in my room because, get this, he can just call me now. He still goes on MFC and tips other models, but I don't see anything from him now except for random texts. And the only reason I did give him my number was after quite a bit of wine ( Lets face it, I was drunk) and in the "your my friend, I love you man!!" mindset that we all get after way too much to drink. Needless to say, I cut back on the drinking while online.

 

[WickedTouch]

I expect guys to see me sexually.. but... to be friends with someone who wants me sexually is incredibly awkward for me. Probably the paranoia- in the back of my mind, anyone who wants me sexually is out to rape me. Also, my sensitivity is at fault- I feel that by being their friend when they want me sexually I am subjecting them to discomfort, which makes me uncomfortable.

However, guys who give no indication that they want me sexually can become good friends, even if deep down they do want me sexually. Even a guy who started off with the sexual chat, if he doesn't mention sex at all for six months but talks to me on a daily basis, I will forget that he once used to be all sexual. Then if he starts bringing it up the way a guy will tease with normal friends, instead of in the "I want you" sense, I will still feel comfortable.

As was said, if a guy is only ever talking about how much they want to have sex with me, obviously they only want my body, and don't make an effort to engage my mind. If my mind is not engaged, there is no way I could ever trust them.

Yes. I agree. Without trust and respect you have no foundation for anything beyond what exists online ... and that takes time to establish. After all trust and respect always have to be earned, should never be assumed, taken for granted nor abused.

 

[Nordling]

I want to respond to this since not only do I have the experience with being the cam girl but also as that of a former stripper. My mindset is this, this is a job and I try to have fun at it. It good money, MY HOURS, and something I enjoy for the most part. But its a job still the same. Whether I was stripping or caming, its more of a fantasy for the guys, period. Now that I cam, I am "Anna_Swallows", period, or just call me Anna. Of course this isn't my real name, you won't get my real name from me. Neither will you get my real age, my real state I reside in, if I am married, single, seeing someone, how many kids I have or even my real age. Why should the customer get that? I am a fantasy to you and will play that part on line. I didn't come on to cam looking for a man, friends or a love life. When I stripped, I would have guys try following me home. That was really scary. I am not even trying to go there with giving you my personal information when I have people in my personal life that I worry about protecting. Its best to keep your personal and cam life separate.

Now if your going to try and tell me that its more than just a job to you and you don't mind being friends with some of your customers, then I would love to hang in your room while your naked, not making any money and just chatting with your friends because they know they dont need to tip you because afterall, they are your friends. Lets see how much your smiling then when your online for "smiles".

And I did give my number 1 TIME to a customer and he did in fact quit coming in my room because, get this, he can just call me now. He still goes on MFC and tips other models, but I don't see anything from him now except for random texts. And the only reason I did give him my number was after quite a bit of wine ( Lets face it, I was drunk) and in the "your my friend, I love you man!!" mindset that we all get after way too much to drink. Needless to say, I cut back on the drinking while online.

I hope you changed your number.

It always surprises me how many models give out their phone number--sometimes for a fixed number of tokens.

Certainly, most "normal" people want to be trusted, but online it goes beyond mere trust; it's a matter of statistics. No matter how well you know someone online, you really don't know them as you would offline.

Recently, a model told me she kind of freaks out at the thought that I might recognize her in a grocery store or the like, that we happened to be in at the same time (we live near the same city). I completely understood her concern; no matter how much we become "online pals," wisdom prescribes safety first. I did tell her that if I DID happen to recognize her, I wouldn't rush up and acknowledge her, I'd simply move on, inwardly happy to have seen her.

 

[Rose]

Recently, a model told me she kind of freaks out at the thought that I might recognize her in a grocery store or the like, that we happened to be in at the same time (we live near the same city). I completely understood her concern; no matter how much we become "online pals," wisdom prescribes safety first. I did tell her that if I DID happen to recognize her, I wouldn't rush up and acknowledge her, I'd simply move on, inwardly happy to have seen her.

smart man! that's how it should be but most guys don't understand that. do spread that thinking around though

 

[Kelly<3]

Models and members can be friends BUT it's quite uncommon. There has to be trust, respect and total honesty when it comes to the intention of the relationship. The model cannot just be using the member for tokens, help, etc. and the member cannot use the model for an online girlfriend. Those "relationships" fall apart. Boundaries need to be discussed. For me, lines are crossed when the member "falls in love" or insists on meeting me, wanting personal information and turns out to be a douche canoe when they do not get what they were looking for from me.
There are very, very few members that I will stay in contact with after my mfc career has finished. That's how I know when a member is more than just a customer, they have become a friend. With that being said though, I would not ever date anyone I had met on MFC because chances are you've already seen me naked and my sexual, sensual side so it ruins the mystery of dating for me.

This is an ADULT website and to hear members say they signed up because they thought it was a dating site makes me giggle. Models are here to make some money and have a great time providing the entertainment. Eventually, the regualrs in the room because your virtual friends. Over time and trust built you know which members are in there for the naked dancing chick and the ones who are there just because they enjoy you and the way you conduct your room.