When Do I Tell Someone I'm Dating I Cam...

[violaparker274]

Just tell them!

 

[SaffronBurke]

I have in my Tinder bio that I'm in the adult industry. Idgaf.

 

[Natalie_Lavender]

Divorced for over a year now, I’m currently in the dating scene again. So I’ve revealed when I first started talking to one guy right off the bat. He didn’t mind & we went on one date. Nice guy, but just wasn’t a fit, but we still talk once in a while.
Revealed it to another guy during our first date, even though I knew it wasn’t going any further. Only because we started talking about sex work stuff. So I figured why not. Lol
Now my 2nd husband & I were going to cam as a couple about 4 years ago, but I’m glad we didn’t. Because I know now he would have totally tried to use it against me in the divorce. He’s a very evil & vindictive person. Which I didn’t discover until we were already married.
In conclusion, it’s really hard to say when the right time would be. But I totally agree with the fact that they will either accept it or they won’t, no matter when you tell them. For me now I’m going to try to make that decision to tell them around the third date. If/When he makes it onto the 3rd date, I’ve probably already revealed a lot about myself. So telling him I cam (but not giving him my cam name or site I’m on) will probably be a deciding factor in if we continue seeing each other, before we are too invested into the relationship/connection.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Divorced for over a year now, I’m currently in the dating scene again. So I’ve revealed when I first started talking to one guy right off the bat. He didn’t mind & we went on one date. Nice guy, but just wasn’t a fit, but we still talk once in a while.
Revealed it to another guy during our first date, even though I knew it wasn’t going any further. Only because we started talking about sex work stuff. So I figured why not. Lol
Now my 2nd husband & I were going to cam as a couple about 4 years ago, but I’m glad we didn’t. Because I know now he would have totally tried to use it against me in the divorce. He’s a very evil & vindictive person. Which I didn’t discover until we were already married.
In conclusion, it’s really hard to say when the right time would be. But I totally agree with the fact that they will either accept it or they won’t, no matter when you tell them. For me now I’m going to try to make that decision to tell them around the third date. If/When he makes it onto the 3rd date, I’ve probably already revealed a lot about myself. So telling him I cam (but not giving him my cam name or site I’m on) will probably be a deciding factor in if we continue seeing each other, before we are too invested into the relationship/connection.

Can I ask what their reactions were? Always interested to know what some people's reactions are to certain "taboo" things...

 

[yummybrownfox]

Everyone in this thread makes some great points.

On the flip side, what if you tell someone right away up front, and their sole purpose then is to play you so you become a trophy they've collected? Some people get it in their mind that if someone does a specific type of job such as a sex worker, doctor, LEO, firefighter, pilot, doctor, etc that they just want to have the ability to say they've been with someone of that kind of job.

YES! This is an excellent point...

There was this guy I was interested in some years ago who had started texting me one day. The minute I told him I cammed, he became fixated on that and wanted to talk about nothing else but that. Asking one too many questions...telling me I should let him participate with me in a cam show sometime (Wtf, dude...no). Who the hell knows if he had intended to ask me out on a date (prior to me mentioning camming)? Guess I'll never know. At the mention of camming, it's like he suddenly stopped seeing me as a woman he'd like to get to know/take out...and then saw me as an adult industry worker who clearly must be an easy lay. The conversation was turning me off, and I lost interest in him that quickly, and that was our last conversation.

I don't date anymore though (After last year I pretty much said fuck dating...fuck the "catching feelings"...and fuck the mind games that people play...I've lost interest), so I'm actually relieved that I don't have to worry about this kind of shit anymore. Lol.

 

[Sansa]

When is the right time to tell someone you cam? After you've exchanged nudes. They out you? You out them.

In all seriousness, there is really no right time. There have been some that were cool with it at first but changed their minds later (or worse). Others have been fine with it though (funny though, it is usually the nude exchangers that tend to be the least likely to get vindictive over it...)

There are still ways to gauge an idea of how someone will react. Bring up a "friend" who cams, and if they give a reaction like "I've dated a stripper/camgirl/etc" before and they speak positively of that person, you're usually good.

 

[SpookybunzSM]

I usually mention it right off the bat.
If they have a negative reaction, it's probably not going to work out anyways.
But I'm very open about it, so even if they told other people it wouldn't bother me.

Also if it makes someone think they can pressure me into sexual acts because of it, I don't want to be with them, so it weeds people out a little.

 

[Natalie_Lavender]

Can I ask what their reactions were? Always interested to know what some people's reactions are to certain "taboo" things...

Guy #1: after texting for a few days, he asked if I had Snapchat. (I do, lol, but not for personal.) At first I told him I didn’t, but then he kept trying to convince me how easy it was to set up. So I admitted to him I did in fact have an account, but for business only. He sent me his username anyways. So I told him I’m a cam girl. His reply was “oh, so you’re just on dating sites to get followers?” I explained to him being on the dating sites was for personal, not business. He said “ok, then just add me then”. He’s never flinched at my snaps, still went on a first date, and he’s actually still on my SC. Nice guy, but physical chemistry was lacking. We still actually chat through SC.
Guy #2: it just wasn’t working on our first date, went south when he brought up politics. After realizing our views were waaaay off, and he brought up something about strippers (which I told him I did briefly when I was 20), I figured I’d tell him. His reaction to me stripping was nonchalant, so why not, right? Lol. As soon as I told him, his attention turned from the football game (we were at a sports bar so he could watch his team play. Romantic. Lol) and he became VERY interested in asking details. I didn’t really say much except I crammed solo. He wanted the site name & my cam name. Nope. He texted me after we awkwardly called it a night & jokingly asked if I could live without him or not. A laugh was my response.
So far I haven’t had any rudely negative reactions, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Guy #1: after texting for a few days, he asked if I had Snapchat. (I do, lol, but not for personal.) At first I told him I didn’t, but then he kept trying to convince me how easy it was to set up. So I admitted to him I did in fact have an account, but for business only. He sent me his username anyways. So I told him I’m a cam girl. His reply was “oh, so you’re just on dating sites to get followers?” I explained to him being on the dating sites was for personal, not business. He said “ok, then just add me then”. He’s never flinched at my snaps, still went on a first date, and he’s actually still on my SC. Nice guy, but physical chemistry was lacking. We still actually chat through SC.
Guy #2: it just wasn’t working on our first date, went south when he brought up politics. After realizing our views were waaaay off, and he brought up something about strippers (which I told him I did briefly when I was 20), I figured I’d tell him. His reaction to me stripping was nonchalant, so why not, right? Lol. As soon as I told him, his attention turned from the football game (we were at a sports bar so he could watch his team play. Romantic. Lol) and he became VERY interested in asking details. I didn’t really say much except I crammed solo. He wanted the site name & my cam name. Nope. He texted me after we awkwardly called it a night & jokingly asked if I could live without him or not. A laugh was my response.
So far I haven’t had any rudely negative reactions, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.

Thanks for the response. Interesting on how they reacted. Thankfully, it seems neither really got negative or derogatory about it. So, hopefully, it continues that way for you.

As to myself, thinking about what would happen if someone told me she was a cammodel. I'd probably be a little shocked. Not in a negative way, as I have no issues if someone cams, strips, models. But, rather because I've actually met someone in person who admits to camming. I'll admit it'd be a bit of a conversation piece. Though, wouldn't make it a focus of the rest of the date as I have known a couple of strippers over the years. First, I'd need to put myself back on the market so I could go on a date.

Hope you find success and happiness.

 

[Dan Epstein]

The stigma affects everyone involved sometimes. I just had a 2nd date cancelled after I told her I work as a representative in the adult industry. Then again, I wouldn't want to date someone who views me as a problem, or as a lesser profession to make a living. I worked hard to get into the industry, I will work even harder to stay in it, regardless of any immature innuendos and derogatory nick names from former friends, former colleagues, and people who pretend to be potential significant others.

 

[BlackWizard]

I told my bf and he wanted broadcast with me;D Now we have also couple account

 

[Natalie_Lavender]

Thought I would add to this, since my conversation with a new guy I’ve been texting seemed relevant...

Our previous conversations through a dating site have been the usual “get to know each other” kind of stuff. Tonight we exchanged numbers & he asked what I had found on Netflix to watch. So I told him the truth. A documentary series on swingers. It immediately got the conversation rolling into further sexual interests. He wasn’t scared away by my “bucket list”, and in fact, told me that him & his ex wife had orgies and that he was quite sexually adventurous & confident. I still plan on sticking to my 3rd date rule of telling him I’m a cam model. But I wouldn’t be surprised if I reveal it sooner. He’s given me all the signs and indications that he would be accepting of the information, which makes me super excited.
So as others have previously said, throwing out subtle hints to see how they react to different scenarios, can reveal a lot about how they might receive the information about you being a cam model.

 

[Alek]

Once I revealed it before our first date, the guy was a way "too interested" on what my name was, how much do I average make per day, and stuff like that. Worst mistake I've ever done. I don't really believe in evil eye and stuff like that, but this was such a enormous coincidence for me to not consider lol

Saturday night *1 hour after date* finished my show. Everything working perfectly.

Sunday night - couldn't even start broadcasting. My internet upload rate was fucked up (never happened before), my lush antenna was not recognizing the app and my computer had multiple blue screens with no reason.

Leaving the funny story aside, I no longer tell anyone I'm dating. The day I see potential for the relationship to grow, I will absolutely tell. In the meantine I say that I work online from home, "branding stuff" which isn't a lie lol. But many guys don't understand that even working from home I'm still really busy on my schedule. It sucks!

I'm not really much into giving this knowledge about myself for guys that I date until it's really starting to get serious. This is IMO some powerful information that if provided for the wrong guy, may cause a lot of stress.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I'm not really much into giving this knowledge about myself for guys that I date until it's really starting to get serious. This is IMO some powerful information that if provided for the wrong guy, may cause a lot of stress.

Sadly, seems way to common for the models to have to deal with people they've been involved with to hold this against them. Either in the relationship, or worse, after.