What is the most annoying thing a model can do?

[LilyEvans]

I'm trying to work out what in these situations the model's actually say. Maybe I'm just being dense, but I can't work out if it's like a model saying something that might come across that a member isn't important/would never be someone they're attracted to in real life, or if the model is outright saying "you're all clearly losers".

I can only speak for myself, but it has to do with making assumptions about me based on a very limited amount of information about who I am. It seems that the one of bit of info they do have, that I'm a MFC member, is all they need to know that I'm undesirable. One of the more common ways this comes across is the "I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life". It isn't just about romantic relationships though. It's like any kind of real life interaction with someone from MFC would be undesirable. I could do a whole rant about making judgments about people when you don't know them, but I'll spare the internet any more of that.

I can't speak for anyone else, but from my point of view:

"I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life" = "Please stop trying to take this out of the context of a camsite and turn it into a real world relationship; attraction is not a factor because I do not see you as a potential mate, I see you as a customer."

Like, if I met a dude at a cafe and started dating him and a few weeks later found out he frequented camsites I wouldn't be like, "OMG EW ABORT, LOSER ALERT, I CAN'T BE ATTRACTED TO OR DATE CAMSITE MEMBERS." But the possibility of me ever seeing an MFC member, becoming attracted to him, and pursuing a relationship is near zero for a multitude of reasons, none of which is that I look down on camsite members. Even when I am attracted to members (and I sometimes am!) it's never anything serious because, again, I don't view members as a potential dating pool.

Again, I am only speaking for myself here, and certainly some models may pursue relationships with members; I'm just saying when a model says she isn't attracted to or would never be interested in members, it's probably not because she is judging you for being a member or thinks you aren't good enough.

Also, a final thought: I imagine a lot of people say this simply to discourage level 5 clingers. Often times when a model says, "I'd probably never date someone I met on MFC" what they hear is:

 

[Eden01]

I'm trying to work out what in these situations the model's actually say. Maybe I'm just being dense, but I can't work out if it's like a model saying something that might come across that a member isn't important/would never be someone they're attracted to in real life, or if the model is outright saying "you're all clearly losers".

I have seen some models do this, I don't take offence at all as usually I think most members are retards anyway. Any model I know who has said something like that with me or any of her regulars present shouldn't be worried about her core group of members taking offence, because trust me - we get it! If I was told she only hung out with me because I was a paying client, I would probably take some offence - but venting at other members I actually find funny!

I guess if you really wanted to compliment your members, while at the same time venting at a fucktard you could try something like, 'you know its a common misconception that most members on a site like this are drooling Neanderthals, but I have an awesome bunch of members hang out with me. Then someone like you shows up and reminds me of all the bad things models think about members.'

I can only speak for myself, but it has to do with making assumptions about me based on a very limited amount of information about who I am. It seems that the one of bit of info they do have, that I'm a MFC member, is all they need to know that I'm undesirable. One of the more common ways this comes across is the "I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life". It isn't just about romantic relationships though. It's like any kind of real life interaction with someone from MFC would be undesirable. I could do a whole rant about making judgments about people when you don't know them, but I'll spare the internet any more of that.

I think you are being offended for no reason, every member comes into each models room as an equal the first time they visit, they can only go up or down in a models esteems by how they behave! (If your user name is FistURass - well before you open your mouth you have lost points!) Have you looked at the posts in a busy models room? Do you think most of the guys there are people you would want to be friends with? 80 - 90% probably don't say anything at all and most of the rest have sexual requests. A model could answer more accurately, but out of all the traffic that hops through your room what would be the percentage that might stay and become regulars? Way less that 1% I would say?

Models will find a few members that they click with and chat with because they enjoy doing it rather than it being part of the job, look for when they log in, but that is a tiny percentage. These members ARE the type of people they might hang out with in real life, but it isn't an option because of how they met, or personal circumstances, or geography. In every community there are going to be one or two people we gravitate to because they share common interests or humor or music tastes, but surely you must see on a site like MFCs that this isn't a reason to do a road trip or plane trip to meet? There are customers I get on with incredibly well with at my work, and friended on facebook and catch up online sometimes - I would say were friends, but not one of them have I ever hung out with after work - and they are not offended!

When you say, One of the more common ways this comes across is the "I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life". you are assuming that is what the models are meaning. Of course most models will never meet members in the flesh that they've first meet online, but that's not 100% of models. I think, and models can disagree with this if its not true, that there are two parts to that statement - 'I would never date someone from MFC in real life' The first part is easy to understand. I would probably go into a job like cam model with that rule from the start. If you make it obvious you are there for online fun, and not offline meeting - no grey areas, it's probably going to at least prevent some awkward situations later.

'I would never be attracted to someone from MFC in real life'. - I don't personally think I have ever seen a model say that. I could understand this though from the way the majority of members behave. Would you want to hang out with someone whose opening conversation with you was 'How are you bb, horny - stand, show ass' - because this is what I mainly see as the primary level of conversation there! I'm not saying that's wrong - its an adult site, but its not leading to bbf status is it?

As I member I'm certainly not offended by models having the no meeting policy! Most probably mean 'please don't assume I would ever date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life' Its on profiles because there are so many retards on MFCs - better to put it in simple terms so no one has any ideas about it being a dating site. What is accepted and tolerated on a adult site is totally different from what is acceptable in the real world, girl are just not looking for the qualities that most members bring to the table when joining up at MFCs. That's not to say that models and members can't become great friends.

I personally have met 2 models from the site. One came into my shop, I knew who she was straight away, and I served her as normal and didn't say a thing. Neither of us were put in a strange situation and life goes on. I guess that really doesn't count though!

The second was a model friend in the 'I'll never meet you in real life' category, but we became such good friends online, and I mean - friends with her family on facebook, she became friends with my wife on facebook(!), exchange Christmas cards, and she has sent my son birthday gifts, and we still caught up every couple of day even when she left cams. So when I was in her part of the world and I said, 'Well I don't want to freak you out but if you like...', and her answer was don't be silly of course I'll meet you. But I wasn't a member to her by that stage anyway. And you know what - that was still a little weird for both of us - weird, but nice all the same.

That said, I have been friends with other members from MFCs that have had awesome online relationships with models, and said it 'feels' stronger and better than their best friends, and they have been utterly shattered and heart broken when the models moves on from Cams, and the friendship hasn't lasted more than a few months, or even worse models leave with promises of being friends forever, and are never heard of again. I've taken from this, just realize in your head any relationship with a model is an online while she is at work thing. That way you can only be presently surprised rather than bitterly hurt.

Sorry if that's long and off topic, just had some experience in that area!

 

[Violet October]

I can't speak for anyone else, but from my point of view:

"I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life" = "Please stop trying to take this out of the context of a camsite and turn it into a real world relationship; attraction is not a factor because I do not see you as a potential mate, I see you as a customer."

This is exactly how I feel.

 

[LilyEvans]

I just want to be clear here, for RainyDayGuy: my post was not meant to be disagreeing with you. I have definitely seen models speak about members with disdain. I just wanted to clear up a couple of things where I felt it was possible a model's words were misunderstood, or possibly phrased poorly by her. :twocents-02cents:

 

[schlmoe]

I can't speak for anyone else, but from my point of view:

"I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life" = "Please stop trying to take this out of the context of a camsite and turn it into a real world relationship; attraction is not a factor because I do not see you as a potential mate, I see you as a customer."

Like, if I met a dude at a cafe and started dating him and a few weeks later found out he frequented camsites I wouldn't be like, "OMG EW ABORT, LOSER ALERT, I CAN'T BE ATTRACTED TO OR DATE CAMSITE MEMBERS." But the possibility of me ever seeing an MFC member, becoming attracted to him, and pursuing a relationship is near zero for a multitude of reasons, none of which is that I look down on camsite members. Even when I am attracted to members (and I sometimes am!) it's never anything serious because, again, I don't view members as a potential dating pool.

Again, I am only speaking for myself here, and certainly some models may pursue relationships with members; I'm just saying when a model says she isn't attracted to or would never be interested in members, it's probably not because she is judging you for being a member or thinks you aren't good enough.

...snip...

I've seen models say things like this fairly often, and it usually doesn't bother me because my expectations are not that I'm going to be hooking up/dating/marrying an MFC model. I don't care much for the generalization it implies, and if I heard this more than once or twice I probably wouldn't spend my time/money in that room only because I'm not into paying for disdain, lol. I really don't disagree with your sentiments here, but...

"I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life"

IMO, this is phrased poorly. There are definitely better ways to get that point across. What if a waitress/bartender/etc. said that? No denying that it would come off as "Ewww, I'd never date anyone who patronized this crappy place!" I have seen a waitress fend off pick-ups by saying something like "Sorry, I don't date customers", or "Sorry, the owner doesn't allow us to date customers". A nice, white lie that gets the point across and doesn't necessarily cause hurt feelings. And it's not bad for business.

I don't mean to call anyone out, but I think Amber has struck on a great response. Almost every time a member asks about meeting/dating/etc, she says "Sorry, I'm only digital, you can't touch me or meet me". Or when they ask where she lives, she sometimes says "I live in your fantasies". 2 perfect answers, and she says it with such a sweet smile that it usually ends it. I've seen other models do something similar. Gets the point across without intentionally (or unintentionally) causing hurt feelings. And it's not bad for business.

I'm not a camgirl, so it's going to be very easy to say "he doesn't know what we go through", and you'd be right. But I have a lot of experience dealing face-to-face with jerky, disruptive and sometimes abusive customers. Banned customers? Done it. Done it face-to-face. I've also seen enough of the MFC experience to know that over 90% of the members are annoying jerks (at the minimum), including myself :mrgreen: At the end of the day, it's up to the models how the run their room. I'm not going to begrudge anything you say or do, mainly because it IS your room and I DON'T know what you have gone through that day/week/etc. And I'm not here to tell you it's wrong if you actually hate 99% of your members (slight exaggeration, I know). Just think before stating generalizations like I quoted above. You never know who is watching and listening to what you say and who might get hurt feelings. Could be one of your big tippers in the lounge, could be one of your regs "guesting", could be a couple of quiet basics who just went premium "for you". And you never know if one of them, or all of them get the thought "She thinks we're WHAT!" From a strictly business point of view, there may be a better way to say something like "I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life"

I'm not saying I am right, but this is just another viewpoint to ponder.

 

[AmberCutie]

every member comes into each models room as an equal the first time they visit, they can only go up or down in a models esteems by how they behave! (If your user name is FistURass - well before you open your mouth you have lost points!) Have you looked at the posts in a busy models room? Do you think most of the guys there are people you would want to be friends with? 80 - 90% probably don't say anything at all and most of the rest have sexual requests. A model could answer more accurately, but out of all the traffic that hops through your room what would be the percentage that might stay and become regulars? Way less that 1% I would say?

Yep, I answered in my head "less than 1%!!!" before my eyeballs even finished reading the sentence.

The majority of people (we'll say for numbers' sake that it's 96.5%) in my room every day either never say a word, or speak with such anti-flair that they turn me off immediately. And it's true that I'd never be attracted to people who spoke like that "in real life." That should be understandable.

About 3% are tolerable or maybe even pleasant and I can chat with them during that session, but would never return and aren't people I'd remember/track down at a later time.

That small, less than 1% are truly the treasures of MFC. Without these people, my time online would be much less fun, and even downright dreary most days.

(Also, what compels you to put the 's' at the end of MFC? I really am curious, it's a bit of a peeve of mine and I'm seeing it more lately. MFC vs. MFCS or MFC'S. Rawr.)

Models will find a few members that they click with and chat with because they enjoy doing it rather than it being part of the job, look for when they log in, but that is a tiny percentage. These members ARE the type of people they might hang out with in real life, but it isn't an option because of how they met, or personal circumstances, or geography. In every community there are going to be one or two people we gravitate to because they share common interests or humor or music tastes, but surely you must see on a site like MFCs that this isn't a reason to do a road trip or plane trip to meet?

Nailed it, there.

I don't mean to call anyone out, but I think Amber has struck on a great response. Almost every time a member asks about meeting/dating/etc, she says "Sorry, I'm only digital, you can't touch me or meet me". Or when they ask where she lives, she sometimes says "I live in your fantasies". 2 perfect answers, and she says it with such a sweet smile that it usually ends it. I've seen other models do something similar. Gets the point across without intentionally (or unintentionally) causing hurt feelings. And it's not bad for business.

It does really help get the point across when I say "I am digital only, I don't exist in the physical realm". There are probably days where I say things with less tact. One of them is something to the tune of "I am a cam girl. That means you see me on CAM only. If you want to meet someone, find a dating or escort site. Cam sites aren't the place for that."

 

[mynameisbob84]

There's a world of difference between a model saying something like "all members are basement-dwelling losers who haven't touched pussy since the day they crawled out of their mama's baby door and the only way they can get attractive girls to even notice them is to throw money at them" and "I would never date a member".

The former is mean-spirited and makes unfair assumptions about the entire male populace of MFC, and makes no distinction between the members who are actually worthy of such scorn and the members whose generousity allows models to live the lifestyle they've become accustomed to.

The latter is kind of a necessity. If a model were to openly use her MFC room as a dating site, it would be chaos. She'd be inviting stalkers to stalk her, every member who tipped her would expect her to consider them as a potential mate, her chat and PMs would be flooded with poorly worded date requests ("open bobs after cinema at 8 bb?"), members would assume she escorts and forever be propositioning her ("suck and fuck for PayPal bb?"), the guys who are prone to "falling in love" with models would do so in a heartbeat ("she dates members and she knows my name... there's a chance!"), there'd be constant fighting in her room between the members who she might actually be considering dating/had already dated/had turned down for dates, and something as simple as trying to get a countdown completed would take an eternity in between all the fumbling plays for her heart (that's a Shins lyric, yo. Y'all should listen to the Shins). And even if she did date members, to let it be public knowledge, or to publically state anything other than "I don't date members" would be a wee bit silly, only serving to invite all of the above.

Furthermore, I can't really blame models for not wanting to date members. Most of them are either silent lurkers, freeloaders, part of the 'bb brigade' or are actively vile misogynist trolls. The awesome members are in the minority (as has been pointed out), and even then, most of them are just words on a screen. Funny, caring, generous, awesome words on a screen, maybe, but words on a screen nonetheless. It's hard to fall in love with words on a screen, ya know?

tl; dr: decreeing that all members are losers unworthy of a model's vagina = bad. deciding not to date members and being honest about that = good

 

[RainyDayGuy]

Just think before stating generalizations like I quoted above. You never know who is watching and listening to what you say and who might get hurt feelings. Could be one of your big tippers in the lounge, could be one of your regs "guesting", could be a couple of quiet basics who just went premium "for you". And you never know if one of them, or all of them get the thought "She thinks we're WHAT!" From a strictly business point of view, there may be a better way to say something like "I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life"

Yes, this.


As a general rule, don't make generalizations.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

There's a world of difference between a model saying something like "all members are basement-dwelling losers who haven't touched pussy since the day they crawled out of their mama's baby door and the only way they can get attractive girls to even notice them is to throw money at them" and "I would never date a member".

The former is mean-spirited and makes unfair assumptions about the entire male populace of MFC, and makes no distinction between the members who are actually worthy of such scorn and the members whose generousity allows models to live the lifestyle they've become accustomed to

Ok I feel a bit better, I've never said either. Though I don't think I'd ever date a member again, as once I tried and I had to get the police involved pretty quickly. Turned out he was pretty mentally ill... So yeah, after that I'm not sure if I'd ever meet up with a member at all as it's hard to tell what someone's actually like in real life.

Things that I will sometimes say are when dudes want me to see their cocks etc. Well no, I do not want to see their penis's. Sure in a hypothetical situation if I were single and met them in real life, was really attracted to them and decided I wanted to sleep with them then hey, maybe I'd like to see their penis! But it's pretty safe for me to say to a member on mfc that I will never want to look at their penis. It's not because of them being some loser on mfc. It's not a personal insult either, it's just that I have no interest in looking at a complete stranger's genitals. A member can take that how he will, but I like to drive the point home. Plus it provides mild entertainment for the rest of the room who aren't trying to flash me.

I think it's best not to take a model's exact words so to heart. A model saying "I will never want to date a member" is her saying "back off, there's no chance here." It's not genuinely her saying "you guys are such losers I'll never want to date you", though hey, maybe she isn't attracted to the sort of guys who spend time on sites like myfreecams. That's ok. That's her personal choice. Though I think it's more of naivety on her part if that's how it is. I have heard from two guys who visit mfc (both as basics) who I have previously slept with mentioning they've seen me working.

With regulars I'm close to, mmm most of them are probably guys who I would never hang out with in real life. I think that's part of the nice thing about it, I get on with these guys really well, maybe if I'd had the opportunity to meet them in real life through friends then I would have got on with them, but I'd never have got as close to them, and chances are we have totally different friends so even if we lived nearby then I'd never have had that initial contact.

But yeah, I think I can be borderline rude sometimes, but I don't think I've ever said anything so uncalled for or downright nasty while on cam. But of course, remember that lots of guys have a fetish for girls who treat them like dirt. I was looking through phone sex girls yesterday and loads of the girls are basically "worship me, you're just worthless losers" types of persona's. So yeah, lots of guys actually get off on that, so it may not be genuine and may be part of her image.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

I get annoyed when some models think all members want or would even be willing to date them. Don't get me wrong, a 16-21 year old me thought dating strippers was awesome. Now? lol no thanks. Just cause a guy enjoys spending time and money on you online doesn't mean he'd ever want to date or meet you in real life. Some of us use camsites the way they were intended to be used.

 

[Eden01]

(Also, what compels you to put the 's' at the end of MFC? I really am curious, it's a bit of a peeve of mine and I'm seeing it more lately. MFC vs. MFCS or MFC'S. Rawr.)

Hmm.... To be honest I just typed it that way without thinking about it. Must do better!

 

[Jessi]

I really appreciate the people approaching the "I wouldn't date a member" thing with common sense.

I'm a sex worker, I just don't want my real life intermingling with my work.
If I were in any other line of work and said "I don't date clients/co workers" it would be pretty silly to get upset with me.

I have regs who I think are really cool to have around and great to talk to. I still wouldn't meetup (outside of a convention) and definitely wouldn't develop anything romantic. I'm there to provide virtual companionship, the door just isn't open, its not even there in the first place. Has nothing to do with how awesome or shitty the member is.

 

[LilyEvans]

Just think before stating generalizations like I quoted above. You never know who is watching and listening to what you say and who might get hurt feelings. Could be one of your big tippers in the lounge, could be one of your regs "guesting", could be a couple of quiet basics who just went premium "for you". And you never know if one of them, or all of them get the thought "She thinks we're WHAT!" From a strictly business point of view, there may be a better way to say something like "I would never date or be attracted to someone from MFC in real life"

Yes, this.


As a general rule, don't make generalizations.

Subtle. I like it. :-D

 

[mutantdonut]

I really appreciate the people approaching the "I wouldn't date a member" thing with common sense.

I'm a sex worker, I just don't want my real life intermingling with my work.
If I were in any other line of work and said "I don't date clients/co workers" it would be pretty silly to get upset with me.

I have regs who I think are really cool to have around and great to talk to. I still wouldn't meetup (outside of a convention) and definitely wouldn't develop anything romantic. I'm there to provide virtual companionship, the door just isn't open, its not even there in the first place. Has nothing to do with how awesome or shitty the member is.

I would think a solid number of active ACF participants have a level head, and think rationally and reasonably in regards to this particular subject. And if a person was not aware of what it means by "I wouldn't date a member," hopefully the message has been sent via this discussion. But i'm only speaking within the confines of ACF. In the general camming world, I'm curious to the number of misconceptions that relates to the member-to-model relationship and what statistical percentage hold these misconceptions. It wouldn't be surprising if the percentage was high.

 

[Eden01]

I really appreciate the people approaching the "I wouldn't date a member" thing with common sense.

I'm a sex worker, I just don't want my real life intermingling with my work.
If I were in any other line of work and said "I don't date clients/co workers" it would be pretty silly to get upset with me.

I have regs who I think are really cool to have around and great to talk to. I still wouldn't meetup (outside of a convention) and definitely wouldn't develop anything romantic. I'm there to provide virtual companionship, the door just isn't open, its not even there in the first place. Has nothing to do with how awesome or shitty the member is.

I would think a solid number of active ACF participants have a level head, and think rationally and reasonably in regards to this particular subject. And if a person was not aware of what it means by "I wouldn't date a member," hopefully the message has been sent via this discussion. But i'm only speaking within the confines of ACF. In the general camming world, I'm curious to the number of misconceptions that relates to the member-to-model relationship and what statistical percentage hold these misconceptions. It wouldn't be surprising if the percentage was high.

You know it doesn't help the cause that somewhere in the MFC (see no 's') advertising it says something along he lines of - 'unlike some sites we don't stop models and members from exchanging contact details, and meeting outside of the site, some models and members become great friends, some have even married' - way to go MFC advertising gurus! That must please the models to no end!

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I get annoyed when some models think all members want or would even be willing to date them. Don't get me wrong, a 16-21 year old me thought dating strippers was awesome. Now? lol no thanks. Just cause a guy enjoys spending time and money on you online doesn't mean he'd ever want to date or meet you in real life. Some of us use camsites the way they were intended to be used.

But... but... what are you getting at? I thought all my regulars, no scratch that, all the guys watching me were willing to leave their lives at the drop of a hat to go out with me?! Are you saying that's not true? :crybaby:

Well there are my hopes and dreams shattered. Not sure my ego can take much more of this.

I really appreciate the people approaching the "I wouldn't date a member" thing with common sense.

I'm a sex worker, I just don't want my real life intermingling with my work.
If I were in any other line of work and said "I don't date clients/co workers" it would be pretty silly to get upset with me.

I have regs who I think are really cool to have around and great to talk to. I still wouldn't meetup (outside of a convention) and definitely wouldn't develop anything romantic. I'm there to provide virtual companionship, the door just isn't open, its not even there in the first place. Has nothing to do with how awesome or shitty the member is.

I would think a solid number of active ACF participants have a level head, and think rationally and reasonably in regards to this particular subject. And if a person was not aware of what it means by "I wouldn't date a member," hopefully the message has been sent via this discussion. But i'm only speaking within the confines of ACF. In the general camming world, I'm curious to the number of misconceptions that relates to the member-to-model relationship and what statistical percentage hold these misconceptions. It wouldn't be surprising if the percentage was high.

You know it doesn't help the cause that somewhere in the MFC (see no 's') advertising it says something along he lines of - 'unlike some sites we don't stop models and members from exchanging contact details, and meeting outside of the site, some models and members become great friends, some have even married' - way to go MFC advertising gurus! That must please the models to no end!

Haha I'm not surprised they use it, it's true! As a model I actually like that there is the potential freedom of meeting members. It's not an option I exercise, but I still like that it has that freedom. There are plenty of models who have met amazing guys on myfreecams. The problem is, for a model it's not that unlikely, I mean like Punk said not all members are single and interested in dating a model, but a lot of members are, and for a model once a guy shows interest by tipping her, she's largely in control. If he stops being interested in her then he'll move on and she'll not think much of it, but if he is, and many are, then if she decided she liked him as more than a member it'd be up to her to make the first move. Chances are if the guy is single then he's already interested (if the opportunity arose) and would take the opportunity, he hasn't got much to lose.

So yeah, for a model to cam for several years and eventually meet a guy she'd like to date, it's not that unlikely, she knows at least that the member is already attracted to her.

For a member it's a very different story. To get a models attention you have to tip a decent amount and fairly consistently. At first she's judging you solely on your tipping and your personality, if she likes you as a person she may start talking to you more, but as a member you have absolutely zero idea in many cases if your model is even single or interested in dating members, and of course if you're there to date her in most situations it'd scare her off quickly, and seeing as at first she'll deter you from wanting to date her, most dudes who are wanting to date a girl will move on quickly, meaning they'll never get to know a girl or gain her trust enough for her to ever think of him as anything more. Guys who approach models as though it's a dating site don't tend to fare well. Nope, for a member it's a long and expensive way to try and date someone and your success rate is almost minimal. Even if you got on with your model friend seriously well, she may still have no sexual interest in you or be open to dating. She may eventually check out your cam or a picture if she hasn't already, at that point if you are attractive to her then maybe you have more of a chance, but chances are even if you're a decent looking guy you're not going to "wow" her into risking all and dating you. I know loads of decent looking guys. Maybe if someone looked unbelievably hot and I was single it might sway me a bit, but probably not.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Haha I'm not surprised they use it, it's true! As a model I actually like that there is the potential freedom of meeting members. It's not an option I exercise, but I still like that it has that freedom. There are plenty of models who have met amazing guys on myfreecams. The problem is, for a model it's not that unlikely, I mean like Punk said not all members are single and interested in dating a model, but a lot of members are, and for a model once a guy shows interest by tipping her, she's largely in control. If he stops being interested in her then he'll move on and she'll not think much of it, but if he is, and many are, then if she decided she liked him as more than a member it'd be up to her to make the first move. Chances are if the guy is single then he's already interested (if the opportunity arose) and would take the opportunity, he hasn't got much to lose.

So yeah, for a model to cam for several years and eventually meet a guy she'd like to date, it's not that unlikely, she knows at least that the member is already attracted to her.

For a member it's a very different story. To get a models attention you have to tip a decent amount and fairly consistently. At first she's judging you solely on your tipping and your personality, if she likes you as a person she may start talking to you more, but as a member you have absolutely zero idea in many cases if your model is even single or interested in dating members, and of course if you're there to date her in most situations it'd scare her off quickly, and seeing as at first she'll deter you from wanting to date her, most dudes who are wanting to date a girl will move on quickly, meaning they'll never get to know a girl or gain her trust enough for her to ever think of him as anything more. Guys who approach models as though it's a dating site don't tend to fare well. Nope, for a member it's a long and expensive way to try and date someone and your success rate is almost minimal. Even if you got on with your model friend seriously well, she may still have no sexual interest in you or be open to dating. She may eventually check out your cam or a picture if she hasn't already, at that point if you are attractive to her then maybe you have more of a chance, but chances are even if you're a decent looking guy you're not going to "wow" her into risking all and dating you. I know loads of decent looking guys. Maybe if someone looked unbelievably hot and I was single it might sway me a bit, but probably not.

I agree with your overall point, but as to the bits I've bolded...

Geography, yo. It's worth considering as it's yet another huge stumbling block that anyone serious about trying to date a model needs to consider. Most of the models I visit frequently are American. And while I have no plans to woo any of them or think for one second that any of them would be remotely interested in taking a ride up Bob Mountain, if they were to tell me tomorrow that they've been harbouring a secret love for me that started in their lady parts and grew into something they couldn't control and they want, nay, need to bed me on a regular basis... I wouldn't be too upset, ya know? But I'm not really prepared to up and move half way around the world to make that happen, and I doubt they would be either. Point being, that even if a member is single, and attracted to a model, and even if she's single, and even if she's attracted to that member, there's still other issues to consider that more often than not would just make any relationship between the two of them exceptionally unlikely.

As to the other two highlighted bits, there are more important things than ridiculous good looks and money, surely?

 

[yossarian]

I think another factor not being mentioned is that, in my experience, many (maybe most; maybe all) single men tend to look at all attractive women whom they befriend as potential mates. I actually had this discussion with a close friend recently--she remarked that she didn't understand why practically EVERY male friend of hers has, at one point or another, asked her out. "Why can't men just be friends?" she said, and I nodded in agreement, while silently thanking my lucky stars that I had resisted the urge to ask her out because, let's be honest, I had thought about it when we first met.

And now she probably thinks I'm gay. But whatever.

When you spend a lot of time in someone's room, it starts to feel like they're your friend, especially if the model comes off as genuine and friendly. Once again using the waitress analogy--a waitress may be nice to you, and she may like you as a person even and enjoy your company when you come in, but that doesn't mean she wants to hang out with you outside of work or roll around naked together. She's not your friend, even if you're friendly, because it doesn't work that way. I think it's the same with cam models. If you can't even call each other a "friend" in the usual sense of the word (quiz: how many of your real life friends are unable, for safety reasons, to tell you their real name and location?), then how can there ever be anything more?

 

[Bocefish]

Hand bras should be outlawed on adult sites. That stupid shit was meant for highschool sexting, not adult sites.

:twocents-02cents:

 

[mynameisbob84]

I think another factor not being mentioned is that, in my experience, many (maybe most; maybe all) single men tend to look at all attractive women whom they befriend as potential mates. I actually had this discussion with a close friend recently--she remarked that she didn't understand why practically EVERY male friend of hers has, at one point or another, asked her out. "Why can't men just be friends?" she said, and I nodded in agreement, while silently thanking my lucky stars that I had resisted the urge to ask her out because, let's be honest, I had thought about it when we first met.

And now she probably thinks I'm gay. But whatever.

When you spend a lot of time in someone's room, it starts to feel like they're your friend, especially if the model comes off as genuine and friendly. Once again using the waitress analogy--a waitress may be nice to you, and she may like you as a person even and enjoy your company when you come in, but that doesn't mean she wants to hang out with you outside of work or roll around naked together. She's not your friend, even if you're friendly, because it doesn't work that way. I think it's the same with cam models. If you can't even call each other a "friend" in the usual sense of the word (quiz: how many of your real life friends are unable, for safety reasons, to tell you their real name and location?), then how can there ever be anything more?

I think it's different in real life though. If you get on with a girl who you find attractive, and who gets on with you, and you already enjoy each other's company, and you have shared interests, and you're already both choosing to spend time with another because you enjoy it; it's easy to wonder what might happen if you were to ask this girl out. In camland though, it's hard (for me anyway) not to be acutely aware that while the girl on screen is attractive, and while I might enjoy her company, or share some of her interests, and while it's not outside the realms of possibility that she enjoys having me in her room, she's ultimately there because it's her job. She's not logging on to hang out with me the same way a real life female friend might. We're not getting to know each other the same way two real life friends would. We're only getting to know the parts of one another that are convenient to share - I don't get to know her real name or what she's doing with her day off, she doesn't get to see how unkempt I am or how awkward I can be socially. It's for those reasons (plus all the reasons listed above) that I don't look at cam girls as potential mates, no matter how attractive they are and no matter how much I enjoy their company.

 

[schlmoe]

Hand bras should be outlawed on adult sites. That stupid shit was meant for highschool sexting, not adult sites.

:twocents-02cents:

I am picturing Boce yelling at his monitor: "STOP HIDING YOUR TITS!!!"

:mrgreen:

 

[bakersman]

If you actually become a friend with a cam model you met on the site, be careful what you wish for!

A model and I started pm'ing and then gmail chatting off cam, we became friends and had all this fun stuff to talk about, and then our relationship become completely nonsexual: we were buddies. I totally turned into 'hey girlfriend', lol. She asks me advice about dates she goes on, and gives me some too. I can't get off on watching her strip any more, lol. If we met in person, we'd have coffee and chat about shit and then go home, lol.

I chat with another model behind the scenes a lot too but damn I love perving on her so I'm careful to take her pvt every once in a while and contribute to her public shows. Can't take the risk of getting girlfriended with this one

 

[bakersman]

Hand bras should be outlawed on adult sites. That stupid shit was meant for highschool sexting, not adult sites.

:twocents-02cents:

Well, the Hand bra as part of the natural progression

Bra --> hand bra --> hand squeeze --> BOOBIES FREE, FREE AS THE WIND, FREE AT LAST

is great, but Hand Bra as some kind of steady state, it's unnatural

 

[Starling]

Hand bras should be outlawed on adult sites. That stupid shit was meant for highschool sexting, not adult sites.

:twocents-02cents:

Well, the Hand bra as part of the natural progression

Bra --> hand bra --> hand squeeze --> BOOBIES FREE, FREE AS THE WIND, FREE AT LAST

is great, but Hand Bra as some kind of steady state, it's unnatural

Hahahahaha I had someone call me out on handbra-ing earlier this week. I don't know why, but I feel like my breasts look nicer when they're sort of pushed together, even if the nipples are covered- as opposed to them just sort of hanging there all wild and dangly!

:? :lol:

 

[schlmoe]

I don't know why, but I feel like my breasts look nicer when they're sort of pushed together, even if the nipples are covered- as opposed to them just sort of hanging there all wild and dangly!

:? :lol:

Pushed together is great, but...

wild and dangly

is much better! :mrgreen:

 

[JoleneBrody]

Hahaha I'm a HUGE fan of the slower reveal strip that includes hands as an in between. I like reaching my topless goal to be a little show it of it's own, but I guess not everyone is into strip tease. :dontknow:

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Hahaha I'm a HUGE fan of the slower reveal strip that includes hands as an in between. I like reaching my topless goal to be a little show it of it's own, but I guess not everyone is into strip tease. :dontknow:

Same here, when I do the hand bra thing as a pre tease and work it for ages guys seem to go crazy for it! I actually got the idea off watching Kickaz and was amazed at how she manages to hand bra in so many different positions and angles and still you never see her nipples! Before I did a bit of it but revealed them quite quickly, now depending on what mood I'm in I'll do it much slower.

As to the other two highlighted bits, there are more important things than ridiculous good looks and money, surely?

I think though these wouldn't be the first factors I'd ever think about in real life, most girls when meeting a guy will gather information fast and will be working out how they'll fit in with him. A lot of this is done subconsciously or as a side thought.

-Looks, obvious one, it's the first thing you can see, facial features, how tall is he? How tall will you look against him? What's his body like? Depends completely on personal preference, but most girls will fairly quickly look over that one.

- Clothes, how well thought out is his outfit? Has he got good personal style or does it just look straight out of a catalogue? How much were the clothes? What do the clothes say about him? Is he relaxed and casual, is he trying too hard? Again, personal taste, but I think most girls still notice this from the start.

- Body language- is he smiling? Does he seem at ease? Does he seem overly keen to impress? This is pretty much the most important one once she's quickly assessed the first two, but of course, if he has good body language, for a girl she may completely ignore if he's lacking in the first two.

- And of course, lifestyle. Money is a fair factor, not because we want to be lavished with gifts, but because we want to know if he's self sufficient, is he doing well for himself? It's a natural instinct that is basically us thinking "can he protect me in the future?". But for most girls if they like a guy it won't matter. Other lifestyle choices will though, and you learn some of those quite quickly, a mans attitude towards women, towards himself and towards his friends.

Really in real life though it's all about mutual attraction. Attraction is like chemistry, it comes and goes and doesn't always make sense. A guy could fail miserably on all other things but get a girl into bed because of this. Some guys I haven't been particularly interested in but then have ended up kissing or touching them and everything has changed.

In the camming world this is totally different. We're there for cash, so initially to grab our attention and get our time you've got to tip a fair amount. You get plenty of dudes messaging camgirls about how they want to date and be friends but refuse to spend any money on them because they don't want a relationship to be about that... Well, of course that goes down like a sack full of lead. Maybe some camgirls have ended up dating freeloaders, but I suspect it's a rare situation, not many would ever interact with a freeloader enough, or that the freeloader would genuinely be serious about them. I mean I'd find it unattractive if a guy refused to offer to get me a drink, let alone if he hung out while I were working all the time wanting extra attention without ever throwing a few tokens my way! So yes, I think for members who end up dating models, they probably started off spending a fair amount on the model, not necessarily silly amounts, but enough to get her attention and friendship.

And of course looks, well, you can't tell body language and mutual attraction online. You can only really tell what they say about themselves. So really, looks are one of the main things to go by if you're considering someone online as someone to date instead of just as a friend. Kind of like with dating sites, you think more logically about the things you want rather than it being natural attraction for a person.

 

[Bocefish]

There's a HUGE difference between a slow striptease and a model who constantly does this when she can't cover them with both hands.

It's NOT attractive, it's not a tease, it's fucking annoying... especially when said model was tipped to remove her bra.

 

[JoleneBrody]

There's a HUGE difference between a slow striptease and a model who constantly does this when she can't cover them with both hands.

It's NOT attractive, it's not a tease, it's fucking annoying... especially when said model was tipped to remove her bra.

If you tipped for the topless goal and didn't get to see boobs at all... I get it.

If not... :crybaby: Let me call you the Wha-bulance.

:lol:

 

[Bocefish]

There's a HUGE difference between a slow striptease and a model who constantly does this when she can't cover them with both hands.

It's NOT attractive, it's not a tease, it's fucking annoying... especially when said model was tipped to remove her bra.

If you tipped for the topless goal and didn't get to see boobs at all... I get it.

If not... :crybaby: Let me call you the Wha-bulance.

:lol:

Hand bras on adult sites just annoy me in general now although it has been a somewhat gradual process for it to get to the point of a pet-peeve annoyance. From this member's viewpoint, it's become the lamest, most overdone "implied topless" tactic in the camming business. It does not enhance the look, nor is it a tease if done more than a few seconds. Hand bras are ugly, they completely kill the breast's attractiveness due to the weird angles they create; there's no longer any continuous curvature, or flow, it just creates harsh unattractive angles. Unless it's required for a magazine cover, used briefly in a striptease or somehow artfully used in photography, it is annoying. Now if it is my hands being used, that's a whole different story.