Update - Does She Like Me Thread

[trogdor81]

I couldn't modify my original thread, but just figured I'd give an update for anyone interested. Obviously, due to Covid I haven't made any trips.

However, I still plan on traveling and visiting some countries even hers.

As for the woman I was talking to, I had a lot of issues come up with her and it just became too stressful to deal with. I don't think she was outright scamming me, but she was TOO obsessed with money and extremely controlling. She would constantly check if I bought tokens and then fight with me about it. She was also pretty unappreciative and acted like she was entitled to things, because we were "friends" or talked to each other. We never claimed to be in a relationship or anything like that and it was just "we should meet up and see if we like each other". Looking back now all the things I thought that made her seem somewhat sincere were somewhat red flags like others mentioned. I think she gave me her contact info fast to build a rapport and trust. I am almost positive that I am just one of many men she would talk to and I am sure she got money and gifts from other men. I told her I didn't want to do privates anymore, because it made me feel awkward and then she would make comments like "that means you aren't attracted to me." Which, was a manipulative tactic I believe.

I didn't send her tons of money, but twice I sent her flowers. In her country they were probably like 50 bucks if I had to guess, but obviously it was more for me to send them. She was upset one day and the other time was her birthday, I just did it to be nice. She seemed appreciative at the time, but then I would just get hassled for money or "gifts", which I constantly declined and would start arguments, lol. My job takes pretty good care of me, so I got two gift cards for 500 bucks, which I spent 750 dollars on myself, niece, family, or friends baby. I offered to give her 250 of it for her birthday, since I was trying to be nice. Then like a week or two we got into another fight about she's "used" to men sending her tons of money for gifts and how she feels like she has to beg me and get declined, lol. I was like WTF are you talking about? So, you are automatically entitled to money I make, because we talk? We are not in a relationship or anything of that nature. I am an 39 year old man, I don't need to be hassled what I do with my money. I said in that case I am automatically entitled to free privates, nudes, and all this other stuff then right? She even made a comment how she was okay and didn't complain that I only gave her "250", lol. I said you have a lot of damn nerve I didn't have to give you anything. Like I didn't realize talking and being friends required me to buy you gifts or send you money apparently. I also noticed that in the last two or three weeks she made almost 2K in tokens from some regular viewers. Which, I don't really care about, but it got me thinking I was like a long term con or something. Now, that she has some new marks, she doesn't have to be as patient with me, lol.

After, I gave her some of my gift card money it would just be ungratefulness a week later asking me about tokens, who I gave them to, and all this other nonsense. I finally hit my breaking point though when she would order shit off Amazon to my house and then expect me to ship it to her at my expense, lol. I refused to do this and said either send me 200 (that's how much shit she ordered) dollars for shipping or you're not getting these things. I didn't say I would pay for this and you never even asked me if I was okay with you doing that. She ended up sending me only 130, so I sent out what I could fit in a box for that price and not sending her the rest. She told me she was diagnosed as borderline too, so her moodiness and constant back and forth seems to make sense. I send flowers one day and I am the greatest person in the world, I tell her "no" and all of the sudden I am the most evil person on the Internet.

I don't know what her true intentions were, but it was too stressful for me to deal with or worry about.

 

[yummybrownfox]

This is a hot mess. Block her and move on. And please stop giving cam models your address, and having conversations about meeting up in person. Find a different model(s) who doesn't act like an entitled diva (One who doesn't demand you tip her now 2 seconds after you've bought tokens, and actually says thank you when you tip). And please get this idea out of your head about meeting up with cam models in person, because you are only playing yourself. Use these sites for what they're intended for...VIRTUAL stuff.

 

[DJ_Pioneer]

When talking to someone ends up feeling like a hostage negotiation wish them the best of luck on their future endeavors and cease communications.

 

[CheeseMoon]

She told me she was diagnosed as borderline too, so her moodiness and constant back and forth seems to make sense.

That is difficult enough to handle in the real world (been there, done that), but in a cam site scenario it's just insane. Visiting cam models is supposed to be fun with no ifs or buts or overthinking. Period.
I know we guys constantly feel we need to fix things and help with stuff, but try to find someone else than a camgirl halfway across the world if you have care to spare. Lopsided sugaring like this is just a waste of energy.

 

[DhaWerda]

As for the woman I was talking to, I had a lot of issues come up with her and it just became too stressful to deal with. I don't think she was outright scamming me, but she was TOO obsessed with money and extremely controlling. She would constantly check if I bought tokens and then fight with me about it. She was also pretty unappreciative and acted like she was entitled to things, because we were "friends" or talked to each other. We never claimed to be in a relationship or anything like that and it was just "we should meet up and see if we like each other". Looking back now all the things I thought that made her seem somewhat sincere were somewhat red flags like others mentioned. I think she gave me her contact info fast to build a rapport and trust. I am almost positive that I am just one of many men she would talk to and I am sure she got money and gifts from other men. I told her I didn't want to do privates anymore, because it made me feel awkward and then she would make comments like "that means you aren't attracted to me." Which, was a manipulative tactic I believe.

Yeap, you got it right, the provoked "fights" are a good way for them to guilty you into sending money, it's just part of their "business model" at this point.
Whatsapp numbers are handled by the studio "manager" if what I gathered on my own is correct, so there is nothing real in that either, don't want to freak you out but you might have not even been talking to a woman or her *all* the time.. other than if you had voice messages, video calls, the rest can be totally someone else.
And of course those whatsapp talk to several people at a time.

 

[tokensarentforkids]

order shit off Amazon to my house and then expect me to ship it to her at my expense,

Reshipping Fraud is sometimes part of romance scams

 

[AudriTwo]

holy crap you are gullible. her intentions are making money, duh.

 

[AudriTwo]

btw you should report those items that were shipped to your home to amazon. more than likely those items were purchased fraudulently and you might get your address blacklisted.

amazon customer service: +1-888-280-4331

 

[MarieElise]

There are dating sites like eharmony that will ask you questions and use science to help match you up with someone who is truly compatible, and truly looking for a real relationship.

If you're just wanting pussy there are apps for that too. I think they are called Tinder and Grinder (where it's like a mutual thing, and the chick just wants dick/ NSA also). I'm old fashioned though and I have never actually used one of those (I've only heard about them). I always used to just go the old-fashioned route and hit up the local dive bar or meat market club, which I guess isn't an option w Covid, but maybe in the future. You have to be careful there too though, as it gets confusing. Some people go to those places looking for a relationship more than just a one-off, or NSA (and some people go there just to have a good time and laugh, and don't have fucking or relationships on their minds at all). So it's best to just be upfront about what you're looking for, right off the bat. Or at least learn how to gauge and detect body language that communicates liking, and perhaps some sexual interest (which is actually remarkably easy).

 

[trogdor81]

This is a hot mess. Block her and move on. And please stop giving cam models your address, and having conversations about meeting up in person. Find a different model(s) who doesn't act like an entitled diva (One who doesn't demand you tip her now 2 seconds after you've bought tokens, and actually says thank you when you tip). And please get this idea out of your head about meeting up with cam models in person, because you are only playing yourself. Use these sites for what they're intended for...VIRTUAL stuff.

Thanks, she's the only I actually ever talked to off the site, gave my address to, or even contemplating meeting. It just happens that I was going to be traveling overseas before COVID hit and I was like I am visiting some places where she happened to live.

 

[trogdor81]

That is difficult enough to handle in the real world (been there, done that), but in a cam site scenario it's just insane. Visiting cam models is supposed to be fun with no ifs or buts or overthinking. Period.
I know we guys constantly feel we need to fix things and help with stuff, but try to find someone else than a camgirl halfway across the world if you have care to spare. Lopsided sugaring like this is just a waste of energy.

Yea, I am pretty sure my ex-wife had one of those cluster b personalities too. It's not something I want to deal with ever again and when she told me that she was diagnosed as borderline. I kind of took a step back and then the constant stuff about money. Was just mentally exhausting to me.

 

[trogdor81]

Yeap, you got it right, the provoked "fights" are a good way for them to guilty you into sending money, it's just part of their "business model" at this point.
Whatsapp numbers are handled by the studio "manager" if what I gathered on my own is correct, so there is nothing real in that either, don't want to freak you out but you might have not even been talking to a woman or her *all* the time.. other than if you had voice messages, video calls, the rest can be totally someone else.
And of course those whatsapp talk to several people at a time.

I def know the provoked fights were a way to try and guilt me. But, there are no studios where she lives and we could freely call, video, or whatever we wanted via WhatsApp. I didn't do it a whole lot, which was another argument, since she'd say she thinks "I didn't like her". She'd then say she knows she is "greedy, likes money, etc..." and things like that. That also just made me not really want to talk to her that much. She kind of reminded me of Anfisa from 90 day fiancee, lol.

 

[trogdor81]

Reshipping Fraud is sometimes part of romance scams

Hmm, I wasn't aware of that. I don't know she was trying to get this job tutoring students online or something, so she sent a ton of training materials to my house. Books she wanted to read and things of that nature. Like they weren't questionable items and I wouldn't have had a problem doing it if she asked first and didn't expect me to pay for it.

 

[trogdor81]

holy crap you are gullible. her intentions are making money, duh.

Well, everyone wants to make money myself included. I didn't like the constant demands, questioning me, and things like that. Even if she was interested in me this is not someone I'd want to be involved with. I wasn't that gullible if I didn't send her a ton of money obviously.

 

[AudriTwo]

Well, everyone wants to make money myself included. I didn't like the constant demands, questioning me, and things like that. Even if she was interested in me this is not someone I'd want to be involved with. I wasn't that gullible if I didn't send her a ton of money obviously.

most people make money by not being manipulative con-artists, tho. there is a good possibility she persuaded you to partake in reshipping fraud. why would someone from another country order items to your address only have you to ship them to their address? sure she sent you some money to ship, so she could have easily paid for international shipping costs.

being gullible isn't necessarily a bad thing. it happens to the best of us. sometimes it's hard to see the reality through rose-tinted glasses.


edit to add: there are borderline personality type people who don't abuse/manipulate other people. people who use their diagnoses as a shield when they are caught doing bad things are crap.

 

[trogdor81]

most people make money by not being manipulative con-artists, tho. there is a good possibility she persuaded you to partake in reshipping fraud. why would someone from another country order items to your address only have you to ship them to their address? sure she sent you some money to ship, so she could have easily paid for international shipping costs.

being gullible isn't necessarily a bad thing. it happens to the best of us. sometimes it's hard to see the reality through rose-tinted glasses.


edit to add: there are borderline personality type people who don't abuse/manipulate other people. people who use their diagnoses as a shield when they are caught doing bad things are crap.

Yea, I see what you're saying and it's just the things she ordered that makes it so weird to be a reshipping fraud. She ordered like 30 pounds of flash cards and children's books for a job she told me she wanted to try and get. T-shirts and small trivial things and only a Kindle reader for herself, so she can read books. She sent me an apology the other day after I posted this message, but it's just too stressful for me to deal with on a constant basis.

That's true and I am do realize I am more of an empath than I would like to be when it comes to certain people. I have to remind myself a lesson from my marriage that when you start using rose-tinted glasses everything starts to look the same.

I wasn't implying either that her having borderline or depersonalization was something she used as an excuse. It was just something that I mentioned she told me in passing.

 

[trogdor81]

There are dating sites like eharmony that will ask you questions and use science to help match you up with someone who is truly compatible, and truly looking for a real relationship.

If you're just wanting pussy there are apps for that too. I think they are called Tinder and Grinder (where it's like a mutual thing, and the chick just wants dick/ NSA also). I'm old fashioned though and I have never actually used one of those (I've only heard about them). I always used to just go the old-fashioned route and hit up the local dive bar or meat market club, which I guess isn't an option w Covid, but maybe in the future. You have to be careful there too though, as it gets confusing. Some people go to those places looking for a relationship more than just a one-off, or NSA (and some people go there just to have a good time and laugh, and don't have fucking or relationships on their minds at all). So it's best to just be upfront about what you're looking for, right off the bat. Or at least learn how to gauge and detect body language that communicates liking, and perhaps some sexual interest (which is actually remarkably easy).

I think Grinder is for gay men, lol.

I am not ready for a relationship or even casual sex either. I realized that recently even though it's been a year since my divorce was final. A friend of mine who I've known for 20 years came to visit a few months ago. We've always wanted to hook up, but never could due to being in a relationship or something of that nature. So, we were like okay "let's fuck" and I felt weird about it and just couldn't do it, so I blamed it on being friends for so long. Then about a month ago my ex-wife reached out to me for the wrong reasons, I gave her a chance to "make it right" between us to rebuild trust where I would even want to talk to her again. But, that lasted about a week before she couldn't keep up with it and turns out dude she got with most likely broke up with her. But, it made me realize I haven't fully got over my divorce or separation. I just simply cut her and everything about it out of my life and pretended it didn't happen.

There have only been two women where it was discussed possibly meeting in the future that I interact with. The current one who I posted about and just seems like a control freak. The other woman is someone I talked to for about a year, but wasn't until I told her some places I planned on visiting did she tell me where she actually live and suggested we possibly meet up when I come to visit just to meet. The second woman acts more like how everyone described in my first post. I just want to reiterate again though I am not falling in love with anybody or has it been relationships been discussed. It's always just you seem cool, fun, and nice and would like to meet in person. I don't sent vast amounts of money, gifts, or anything like that to anybody and if I do send anything it's because I want for like a birthday or holiday and just to be nice, but it's nothing too crazy where I am going into debt or risking my livlihood.

 

[MarieElise]

I think Grinder is for gay men, lol.

Sorry, I'm old. I thought it meant like grinding cock and pussy. To me a Grinder is a meatball sandwich on French bread. I'll never be able to keep up with all these young whippersnappers, and their new slang, and apps these days (grinding, smashing, banging, slaying pussy... God I don't even know what else). Sounds like it's not your thing anyway though.

Yeah, the chick you are talking about in this thread don't sound right, that's for sure. The first thing a cam model does if they are genuinely interested is drop all demands or mention of money or gifts. It sounds like she's trying to manipulate you. It's rude AF to have stuff mailed to someone else's house, without asking, then expect them to forward it to you at their own cost. That would piss me right off!

 

[trogdor81]

Sorry, I'm old. I thought it meant like grinding cock and pussy. To me a Grinder is a meatball sandwich on French bread. I'll never be able to keep up with all these young whippersnappers, and their new slang, and apps these days (grinding, smashing, banging, slaying pussy... God I don't even know what else). Sounds like it's not your thing anyway though.

Yeah, the chick you are talking about in this thread don't sound right, that's for sure. The first thing a cam model does if they are genuinely interested is drop all demands or mention of money or gifts. It sounds like she's trying to manipulate you. It's rude AF to have stuff mailed to someone else's house, without asking, then expect them to forward it to you at their own cost. That would piss me right off!

Well, I am 39 years old, lol. Yea, I didn't know that was a grinder either, until I traveled to different parts of the US. It's not when I was younger like around 19/20, I didn't care who or what I hooked up with an pulse was optional, lol jk. But, as I got older it just I don't know doesn't seem all that interesting to me.

That's how I am feeling or like I shared too much information with her and she feels like she is entitled to things. Sending things to my house without even asking really did piss me off and I expressed that to her. She did send me most of the money afterwards, but the fact she just did it without asking and expected me to pay for it is what irks me. Like I mentioned the second woman I talk to doesn't ask me for tips, gifts, or anything and she mentioned possibly meeting. She also hasn't given me any personal contact info other than her real name and where she lives, because she's not fully comfortable yet. Which, I get and I am not concerned about. It would be cool to meet up, but I am not heartbroken or hurt if it doesn't happen. I also don't have too much invested monetarily I just noticed a few things that seemed off to me.

 

[KenzieCams]

Like I didn't realize talking and being friends required me to buy you gifts or send you money apparently.

I am genuinely confused. Why didn't you realize this? Is she not a cam model, who has a business where she exchanges her time, attention, and body in exchange for gifts and services?

I understand feeling used, she sounds like a total nightmare and no potential pussy appointment is worth that type of bs. But I also don't understand why you'd think she was after a friendship when it is her job to interact with you.

 

[AudriTwo]

Yea, I see what you're saying and it's just the things she ordered that makes it so weird to be a reshipping fraud. She ordered like 30 pounds of flash cards and children's books for a job she told me she wanted to try and get. T-shirts and small trivial things and only a Kindle reader for herself, so she can read books. She sent me an apology the other day after I posted this message, but it's just too stressful for me to deal with on a constant basis.

i've had fraudulent credit card purchases for mundane shit. it's not always computers and car parts. my bank found purchase for a bird feeder while investigating the weird charges.

That's how I am feeling or like I shared too much information with her and she feels like she is entitled to things. Sending things to my house without even asking really did piss me off and I expressed that to her. She did send me most of the money afterwards, but the fact she just did it without asking and expected me to pay for it is what irks me. Like I mentioned the second woman I talk to doesn't ask me for tips, gifts, or anything and she mentioned possibly meeting. She also hasn't given me any personal contact info other than her real name and where she lives, because she's not fully comfortable yet. Which, I get and I am not concerned about. It would be cool to meet up, but I am not heartbroken or hurt if it doesn't happen. I also don't have too much invested monetarily I just noticed a few things that seemed off to me.

you are going to keep getting burned/taken advantage of if you continue to use camsites as a meetup site. they are not a meetup site, they are masturbation/hangout sites. its not normal for a cammodel to give out her private information and the ones who usually do are probably marinating you for the lovecon.

honestly, i think its for the best you stop using them altogether.