Uncomfortable Situation with a Cam Model

[yummybrownfox]

some other BS to try persuade her and all she says is "ok if you shove a dildo up yours and let me watch then I might try" - obviously for MOST guys asking this they would never do it but you need to be careful since some guys don't mind lol.

Yeah, I wouldn't even say this to them, because - as you said - there will probably be that one goofball who does it and then says "Okay, now it's your turn!" How about no? GO AWAY. Lmao.

 

[Journeyman]

Thanks for *all* the posts. Lots of things of think about.

I didn't start watching cam models to fall for any of them or meet. I have had a couple models tell me they love me, and another tell me I'm the guy she was waiting for, to which I said "thanks" in all instances. I don't think I could fall for any woman for real unless I met her in person, and words are simply not enough, as I mentioned above. Just too confusing and "in your head". So, not in love, just in deep, interested like - I'm not a guy who says ILU first in any case. And she's not some challenge or a trophy to hang on my virtual wall. She's a woman I discovered in a different kind of way, and I want to keep on discovering her if possible.

I can understand a model just doing her job - I actually try to listen to what's said and done and what's not said and done. Maybe she is doing the GFE (had to look that up lol) but you know, I'd have fun visiting her area on my own. The trip I would plan wouldn't even have her in it for half the time - I can see ruins and museums and mountains, and eat awesome pastry on my own and be very happy . I just need to know how to ask for atms, taxis, and bathrooms. And, like, pay for it.

Thanks especially to Wolf, Kitsune, Coffee, Phoenix, and SoTxBob - what you all said made good sense to me.

And any back tattoos I might get would have a wolf or some celtic stuff or both - no names, no bunnies. I am pretty firm on that.

 

[AudriTwo]

And any back tattoos I might get would have a wolf or some celtic stuff or both - no names, no bunnies. I am pretty firm on that.

reference: https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/am-i-simply-being-gullible.25985/page-8#post-803135

 

[a_haze420]

reference: https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/am-i-simply-being-gullible.25985/page-8#post-803135

Omg!!! I didn't think this was an actual thing that happened dear lord what a guy.

 

[NotYou]

reference: https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/am-i-simply-being-gullible.25985/page-8#post-803135

Lmao I thought you just made a "lulz" comment and it wasn't something real.
Not sure if to laugh or cry for the person: the crying would be at how stupid haha. Wow

 

[CoffeeKnight]

Omg!!! I didn't think this was an actual thing that happened dear lord what a guy.

I envy those that get to experience the back tattoo thread for the first time. It's a magical thing.

 

[EmptyKins]

I envy those that get to experience the back tattoo thread for the first time. It's a magical thing.

I first read that thread last week. Now I'm addicted to the guy's 22 mimute YouTube video "Victoria meditation". Something about the rain sounds and his voice saying "Now relax your thighs....your buttocks...and the safe feeling you get knowing soon I will soon be lying next to you forever. "

 

[AmberCutie]

I first read that thread last week. Now I'm addicted to the guy's 22 mimute YouTube video "Victoria meditation". Something about the rain sounds and his voice saying "Now relax your thighs....your buttocks...and the safe feeling you get knowing soon I will soon be lying next to you forever. "

Oh goodness, you jumped deep into the rabbit hole didn't ya?

 

[EmptyKins]

Oh goodness, you jumped deep into the rabbit hole didn't ya?

The rabbit hole is my home now.

 

[Phoenix4987]

WHAT!? I never watched the youtube videos! OMG.

 

[EmptyKins]

WHAT!? I never watched the youtube videos! OMG.

You are in for a treat.

*joanne the scammer voice"
Honestly. Truly.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I just need to know how to ask for atms, taxis, and bathrooms.

el queso es viejo y mohoso, ¿Dónde está el baño?

 

[Fatquack]

No, I am not going to read that thread, I need to sleep.
(Well, maybe tomorrow...)

 

[Cleanpussyeater]

Hey all -

First time poster - been on Streamate as a member (not a model) for a while, and I've read a lot of the threads here as a unregistered viewer. I am in a new situation (and one that I presume has happened to guys before) for me and I have a sense of what to do, but wanted outside opinion.

No, this is not I'm in love with a cam girl thread. No big words like that. I am just very much in like .

I've been a regular member with a cam model for over a year. She's great (of course she is, right?). We have a good time and we are a lot alike - she says this often too. Went from Stream to skype, and I have dates with her there every couple weeks or so. We really respect each other, have fun times, laugh like hell, turn each other on, and of course an occasional deep talk. We always go over time and I'm the one who usually cuts it off as I don't want to take advantage of her generosity. She even took me on a date on my birthday and demanded I should not pay . She's said really lovely things, and yeah, we're looking into hotels for me to visit. We exchange emails frequently, but not close to every day. She's 33, I'm 48.

Here's the thing - financially things are tighter then before and I can either save and travel to go meet her (she's in Europe), or keep seeing her online - not both. I find this embarrassing and frustrating. I'm not going to cripple myself financially over this. And there was a thread here were a model said if she liked a guy enough, she'd stop charging. So that's up to her, but she hasn't suggested it yet and no way I am gonna ask for that. I'd feel like a beggar. I'd love to just "date" her and not watch the clock and bank account during the date like most other folks in a long distance romance, but ... that's not the situation.

So I was thinking of just telling her, as embarrassing as that feels - I really want to see you regularly, but I have to choose which I can do. I've never had to have a conversation like that before, and I worry I will seem less of a man in her eyes, or look like I making a sideways request for free time with her. She already told me she dropped two guys she met as a model because she lost respect for them. I know she cares for me, but we are not boyfriend and girlfriend. We're just two people a long way apart who like, respect, and occasionally lust after each other . But until you actually meet, it really is just a kind of fantasy - even if you are just in a regular long distance thing.

But another part of my head is saying yeah, you want to visit Europe anyway, but what if you fall for each other? Can you afford to keep traveling to see her until you get to a point where one of you wants to move? Should I just fade away instead? Wouldn't it make more sense to find someone closer and just spend time with that woman and save the credit card for dinner? But then there's her, and her damn smile, and laugh, and this thing between us I really like and might regret if I don't follow it.

Thoughtful advice is really welcome.

It’s simple you want to see her in real life or online? You want to see if it’s real or not? Book the trip. Or tell her your gonna book the trip so your not gonna be online for a little while. See what she says. Then if it actually gets to the point where your going to Europe if she meets you it’s real. If she doesn’t go see all the things you went to Europe to see. I would at least tell her your really considering booking the trip to see what she says about it. It might not get to the point where your actually going to see her but you won’t know till you tell her your plans and see her reaction to it.

 

[Fatquack]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
I just spent over half an hour perusing that thread.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

[Moffle]

Seems to me there is a gulf between the way many of the more professional (often North American based) models on here work and the way many girls from EE and ex-Soviet countries often behave on MFC and there isn't always the same obvious distinction between "it's work" and "I don't want anything to do with you in my real life". Many actively try to draw you in. I am talking girls who casually give viber/whats/snap contact usually at their initiation, for free, and in many cases without any regard to having a false name or hiding anything about themselves (possibly it's the remoteness thing).

I am talking about girls who will invest thousands of messages, initiate free skype coffee chats, break the link between sex and money (the link doesn't go away but for example I'm receiving multiple messages a day from one girl currently on vacation, she says we will go to skype and have mad sex as soon as she gets back - we will, but it wont be paid directly with some time limit but at some point in the future she will get a gift). I have 2+ year viber history with another girl - we spend a significant amount of time chatting, well in excess of 100,000 messages (not all from me ).

I guess the point I am trying to make here is there are many different ways of working and some girls will invest very deeply and personally to build a long term (financially rewarding) relationship but it blurrs the line between work and friendship - I can easily believe that if girls are doing that with younger more naiave guys and throwing "I love you" into the mix there will be some very confused feelings. Fortunately I just have to tell them my real age and they realise I am more father material than anything!

Just recently one told me that if she ever decided to have sex with an older guy she'd like it to be me. I was almost fooled for a fraction of a second

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Just recently one told me that if she ever decided to have sex with an older guy she'd like it to be me. I was almost fooled for a fraction of a second

I've heard this a few times from a couple of the EE models I know from MFC. Otherwise, I agree with you that there definitely is a difference in how many EE models operate compared to those in North America. But, not all.

 

[Moffle]

I've heard this a few times from a couple of the EE models I know from MFC. Otherwise, I agree with you that there definitely is a difference in how many EE models operate compared to those in North America. But, not all.

No, not by any means all, there are as many different ways to make a living as there are models I guess.

 

[Inkeddoll]

Just be honest and talk to her about it.

 

[Alex McFly]

But it will only happen if she truly likes you, because this could be simply GFE and not the real deal.

Journeyman, I would say it's unrealistic. As Pure_emotion said, Cam sites are NOT dating sites. She is a model who is working, to get paid. Cam sites are about fantasy girls and live adult entertainment. Maybe try dating sites or Tinder, it's cheaper than a flight to Europe.

 

[Mintx]

Take a break from online dates and see how she reacts before planning a trip out there.

 

[Journeyman]

Take a break from online dates and see how she reacts before planning a trip out there.

Thanks - yeah, Kitsune said the same - doing that now, just too soon too tell. And still working like a bastard to prep for that trip. Think there's any opportunity for a camboy that just asks questions about how women are doing and listens, then offers hugs and maybe an ass grab for a tip?

 

[Mintx]

Thanks - yeah, Kitsune said the same - doing that now, just too soon too tell. And still working like a bastard to prep for that trip. Think there's any opportunity for a camboy that just asks questions about how women are doing and listens, then offers hugs and maybe an ass grab for a tip?

I don't see a world with that market but go ahead and try it.

 

[Deleted member 43650]

x1,000,000. Keep your head straight. Not being cynical, just being real. She's a webcam model whose job it is to keep your interest. If she captivated your interest, no doubt she's captivated the interest of real dick in her own country. So it really isn't necessary for her to have long distance relationships, but it is necessary for her to do her job and pay her bills.

I second this. Not trying to invalidate your feelings, dude, but my personal golden rule of camming is that it is virtual fantasy, no matter what. Camming should never be carried over IRL. I feel like this should be implicit to viewers, regardless of how far the model takes your online 'relationship'. Sounds like she's doing her job, and maybe being a little reckless and irresponsible by allowing it to become too intimate (assuming everything you've said about her feelings are true, and not just your interpretation).

Just don't - you're putting yourself in a very emotionally untenable situation.

I believe that models and viewers alike need to observe certain responsibilities, the most outstanding of which is keeping IRL stuff out of the picture. If she wants a relationship, she can go on a dating site or meet a guy at a cafe. Same for you. Cam-sites aren't dating sites, and the "exceptions" are inappropriate.

There are also a few replies here regarding the common 'delusions' a lot of guys have when given attention. I second these comments as well. Again, not trying to invalidate you here, but I'm pretty sure if she wanted to date you, she wouldn't be charging you money for Skype sessions.

The bottom line is this: in an abstract sense, we cam models are not 'real'. We play characters, roles, personas. Just like a sales rep, we smile and be nice. Sometimes we really do like our viewers on a personal level. But we aren't looking for relationships.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Thanks - yeah, Kitsune said the same - doing that now, just too soon too tell. And still working like a bastard to prep for that trip. Think there's any opportunity for a camboy that just asks questions about how women are doing and listens, then offers hugs and maybe an ass grab for a tip?

Viewers of cam boys are almost exclusively other dudes. Just fyi.

 

[Moffle]

The bottom line is this: in an abstract sense, we cam models are not 'real'. We play characters, roles, personas. Just like a sales rep, we smile and be nice. Sometimes we really do like our viewers on a personal level. But we aren't looking for relationships.

I think this should probably be part of the signup terms and conditions for most sites as it sums it up very well.

I will say again though as I said earlier, I can understand people getting emotionaly confused if they dont have a healthy emotional life or deliberately misled if they are naive.

 

[Journeyman]

Sounds like she's doing her job, and maybe being a little reckless and irresponsible by allowing it to become too intimate (assuming everything you've said about her feelings are true, and not just your interpretation).

I get what you are saying - good points to think about.

As I noted upstream, I understand how things can get in a guy's head that aren't real, and meeting a model was not something I was looking for as cam viewer. As for her feelings, it's a matter of what she does over what she says. I also think about the charging thing. Others have made that point, and it is a good one to keep in mind.

I genuinely think she does want to meet me based on what she says and does - but I also know that is how she acts today. It's very possible I go and she changes her mind, or flakes, or it turns out she was blowing smoke. So I am making sure I go because I want to go and see the place, not for her. She's a possible extra to the cake, but I'd be busy doing geeky tourist stuff in any scenario. I haven't had a vacation since 2013, so discovering a new place would be super.

 

[Chrisjr333]

Well, if I was making it up, I'd would have definitely added a submarine, some jalapeno peppers, and a three legged dog.

a three legged dog is actually believable

 

[AvaScarlett_xo]

I am in the minority here, but I also haven't been camming as extensively as others have on here, so take what I say with a grain of salt for sure.

I once dated one of my clients, who lived on another continent, for 2 months. He still sent me money to help me financially, but we were boyfriend/girlfriend as far as labels were concerned. He was always the first person I'd talk to in the morning and the last person I'd talk to before bed. It wasn't something we expected going into camming but just kind of happened. It was a hard journey for us because I found a lot of my success comes GFE and simply being emotionally available for the people I cam with (for whatever reason a lot of my clientele is men in service like firefighters, EMS, soldiers, etc so often times it's as much of an mental/emotional vent for them as it is sexual). We would talk about what he would do when he came to visit me, and planned where we would eat and activities and all sorts of things. But then the distance started to take a toll and he said he had to take a step back to focus on work (he works for a very large well known tech company and was assigned as a new project manager). We're still friends on personal sites like Facebook, Instagram and things, which I never did with any of my other clients (I always used my camgirl Snapchat and kept the two personas separate as far as anyone else was concerned).

While it wasn't long and never got to the in-person meeting stage you're looking for, I will say it's not impossible but it is improbable. I feel like he and I talking out our fantasies and how our lives would be different once we met in person made it more realistic and in turn, a little less fun and a little more painful (might be a strong word, but it certainly stung to think about living a life apart for years). Much like you're describing the difficult logistics that would come after the visit, either myself moving to Australia or him moving to the USA was not in the cards anytime soon and I think that we both realized that was the case and felt it better to cut our emotional losses.

I agree with others here that you should test the waters some and be honest. If it's truly something she's interested in deeper than her job, she would likely open that door to communication regardless of your financial situation and would appreciate your honesty. But I think it's important that you mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for that not to be the case if/when you have that conversation about you being unable to afford both camming with her and a trip out to see her. Just remember that you're looking for the exception to the rule here. Generally cammers are not looking for relationships and are not emotionally available to their clients. Much like "He's Just Not That Into You" you're looking to be the exception to the rule, so realize now that you're in the minority and the odds are against you, but it's certainly not impossible.

 

[Journeyman]

UPDATE: if anyone is interested

I never got to the point to talk to her about the situation - I backed off seeing her as often, and started working my ass harder then in the last 20 years - so pretty much what Mila_ said . BUT, I can finally pull it off in late July/early August - I can go for about 10 days, and our 2nd anniversary will be over that time.

We've talked a bit more about me coming, but I started to get a sense of "we'll see" from her, I think because it wasn't happening. I've kind of gone out of my way to not mention it, because it's just talk till it happens. She's a very attractive woman, and I am sure she gets asked out there (if she didn't then guys there are clueless as fuck). Maybe there is another guy in the picture, maybe not, but my attitude is a) not my business b) nothing I can do about it and c) I'd do the same thing - because I have gone on a couple dates here myself since January.

So I'll bring up the meeting this week - I'm gonna ask her to do me a favor, and make a reservation at her fave restaurant on our August date in the early evening for drinks or coffee, maybe dinner or walking around and (I won't mention this ) dancing later (I love to dance, and I really want to dance with her). I can't wait it see her reaction, but I am also nervous as hell. I don't think she'll expect it, which can be a plus or a minus.

If she says no to a date, I'll say thanks but no thanks - I've got women friends here, and I don't need another. I'll just say I am still coming thru her town and if she changes her mind to let me know, because I'd love to have that moment with her. I am interested in her as a potential lover, not a male friend. I'm not gonna act against or bury my feelings just to be near her. I'd rather pass.

If she says yes, then I'll just focus on that moment, and if the chemistry isn't there - well, at least I can look back and say I was there - I threw the dice and took the risk. She said she still wanted to meet as well just a short time ago, so here we go. Fortune favors the bold, I hear.

I also want her to know I won't spend the whole trip in her town, and will be in a hotel, with ideas of stuff to do alone or together. I don't want her thinking I'll show up and she has to be my tour guide. If, after the date, we want to spend more time together, then we'll figure that out. I'd love to meet her dogs for instance .

I guess I don't want her to feel pressured most of all. I can handle a no, and won't bust out crying. I'll just be disappointed as fuck. But I think she's an unusual, special woman (and I know what makes her special to me), and even if it sounds cocky I know I am an unusual kind of guy in good ways, even with my usual human flaws. I'm funny, romantic enough without being stupid, I know interesting and useful shit, enjoy the process of seduction and not just the result, and I'm a good kisser and listener. **Note to self : put the list on a t-shirt now! **

Whatever happens, I also know I am pretty much done being anyone's client or member. Many reasons, but I know I just don't want to invest myself in a situation like this again. I enjoy learning who the women are, their hopes and fears, and their passions and desires. But I'd rather have something in real. Either way, I figure I am coming up on what might be our last private and possibly my last private ever, and that is kinda scary too.