Relationship with a cam model

[rockin_rod]

I think it is maybe an Australian thing. Hyperbole, irony; hard to explain. But I understood immediately that he didn't actually abandon his dog.

I took the same intended meaning, although I can see how it was taken otherwise.
Animals are my achilles heel, so I really understand how it triggers a strong reaction.

Side-story: About 10 years ago, a couple who I knew, but not very well, turned up on my doorstep with their dog and announced they were returning to their home country (UK). They asked me to take on the dog, and when I inquired what other options they had considered, it was euthanasia. I took one look at the dog, and the dog looked up at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen - it was like she could understand.
So I became the new guardian of a 15-year old golden cocker spaniel. Turned out she had previously been rescued from an abusive environment, and was traumatised - couldn't be left alone without howling all day, and was mostly incontinent. But could not put her through re-homing yet again, so she went everywhere with me for the rest of her days. Grew to love that dear old dog, but have never forgiven the couple for treating her like an old piece of furniture.

 

[Brit]

Spent about 6x 500km drives to sort the dog/family out before i left.

Soooo...you not only left behind your dog, but also your family?

Edit: I don't read the above as saying he left the dog with family. Using "/" does not denote that. I am reading it as he quite literally drove back and forth between places to "help" his dog and family settle in elsewhere while he goes off to play.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Soooo...you not only left behind your dog, but also your family?

He left something behind for sure.

 

[InannahQoH]

You're right, thank you for clarifying, I didn't see that. The "abandoned" wording made me think he put them in a shelter while he flew off. In hindsight it was some seriously bad phrasing.

It's not bad to leave a dog with people you know and trust while taking a long trip, but along with everything else, it does show OP's priorities here. He's set on this and he'll have to deal with the consequences in the (imo, likely) scenario that this isn't a relationship built on anything more than superficial grounds.

Yeah.. Something like that..

Family.. I've been separated for about 3 years.. Children have all grown up and most have their own family's, work, and houses now.. And they are scattered around Australia.
Long drives back and forth was for things like dropping off things like Big Tv's, Doign some errands for them, etc.

Dog.. Was a difficult situation, it was a family dog precovid.. So when i had to fly for work every 2 weeks, the dog had a house and family to care for it while i was working.
During covid lockdowns i wasnt required to fly regularly...
Now post covid im regularly being requested by work to fly, and have been declining to work/travel so far.. Theres only so long I can decline to work(Overseas) for my employer.
So the sheepdog, was rehomed to a sheep farm, who specialise in rehoming sheepdogs.. Etc

 

[Scottica]

are you tellin' us you got distracted masturbating and got hustled?

are you tellin' us you got distracted masturbating and got hustled?

If I had a nickel...
I think we all go through it once. LOL. I was even fully conscious of what was happening...and at some point, stopped struggling. I am building some web tools, and was researching the complete model-fan experience. Then I met this model and we agreed I could watch her/room/ audience to witness how it all went down. As software producer, I needed to see all of the 'problems' and experiences so that I can make the software actually useful. Usability testing, etc.
Anyways, after a few weeks...I FELL into the honey trap lol. It's powerful.
The models have a dozen, or more, fans having relationships with her, at the same moment-- we only have one person to focus on- the model. I think this is the core of why the relationship fantasy is so consuming.

 

[Brit]

Got online married (Non Legal) in August 2021, 6 months later..

Then all going well with the trial living, will work out how to marry and where in the world we can live together permanently.

Family.. I've been separated for about 3 years.

Okay, so you got "online married" (whatever the fuck that means) to someone, who you can't even really communicate with, 6 months after visiting her on a camsite. You're now visiting her and will live with her for 3 months. You want to legally marry her during or after those 3 months and move somewhere together. All this while you are still legally married. Does she know and understand that you're married and unable to marry her (and thus, "save" her from her area) until you are divorced? The implications for a yes or no to this question are very telling. I'll let you think about it and figure out why yourself.

 

[Scottica]

I think it is maybe an Australian thing. Hyperbole, irony; hard to explain. But I understood immediately that he didn't actually abandon his dog. Sometimes we Aussies don't realise how opaque our language can be to others

I like the dry humor

 

[Just_A_Guy]

Well, it seems you have already made up your mind and you are already there, I suppose. I apologize in advance if I have missed some details because I've quickly skimmed through the thread. The whole idea honestly seems, how shall I put it, completely and utterly insane. Especially the part where you are basically flying to another country so as to live few months with a girl you met on the Internet, whom you basically know nothing about, not even how she smells, and cannot even communicate with.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for having sex with women you can barely communicate with. Fun experience. Not sure whether it is worth a long haul-flight, though, and not the other way round. On top of that, you say that you are most likely going to be stuck at home with her much or most of your time because she lives in a ill repute if not awfully dangerous Colombian neighbourood, to the point that people are concerned about your safety and actively dissuading you from going out. It screams madness. What could possibly go wrong? Have you ever, by chance, contemplated the thought of just dating a girl in your own town? Honestly, it's thread like this that make me appreciate the fact that I am not married just by legal advice.

 

[inertvolcano]

For some reason I thought you were in your 20s which is the perfect time to do completely insane things like this. If it were me, I would have definitely approached this with a lot more caution, but you're in it now so all I can do is pray for your safety and that things work out okay for both of you. Maybe one of the first things you should do is try to move to one of the safer neighborhoods of Bogota or Medellin so you can actually step outside without fear of violent crime.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

For some reason I thought you were in your 20s which is the perfect time to do completely insane things

Honestly, you are right. Having done completely insane things in my 20s, and beyond that I have to say, I always, personally, tend not to judge. But this screams madness. Report back is the only thing I would say.

 

[InannahQoH]

Okay, so you got "online married" (whatever the fuck that means) to someone, who you can't even really communicate with, 6 months after visiting her on a camsite. You're now visiting her and will live with her for 3 months. You want to legally marry her during or after those 3 months and move somewhere together. All this while you are still legally married. Does she know and understand that you're married and unable to marry her (and thus, "save" her from her area) until you are divorced? The implications for a yes or no to this question are very telling. I'll let you think about it and figure out why yourself.

Online married to me means...
Going through the process, saying the vows, getting the marriage certificate..
And on the marriage certificate it says "This is not legal" hehe

3 month visit is likely, there is a small option of extending that to a 6 month visa, but it seems impossible to enact.

Yes she understand im married, and family own half of my/our assets, etc

And .. if any relationship was to be extended further.. it would require a proper divorce and asset selling, first..

**

And yes she doesn't like the country she is in..
But she has also worked out recently, that if she moves, what she earns will go 3-5x less distance with cost of living differences.

 

[AmberCutie]

Hopefully everyone in here has watched at least one or a few seasons of 90 Day Fiance right?

 

[InannahQoH]

Well, it seems you have already made up your mind and you are already there, I suppose. I apologize in advance if I have missed some details because I've quickly skimmed through the thread. The whole idea honestly seems, how shall I put it, completely and utterly insane. Especially the part where you are basically flying to another country so as to live few months with a girl you met on the Internet, whom you basically know nothing about, not even how she smells, and cannot even communicate with.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for having sex with women you can barely communicate with. Fun experience. Not sure whether it is worth a long haul-flight, though, and not the other way round. On top of that, you say that you are most likely going to be stuck at home with her much or most of your time because she lives in a ill repute if not awfully dangerous Colombian neighbourood, to the point that people are concerned about your safety and actively dissuading you from going out. It screams madness. What could possibly go wrong? Have you ever, by chance, contemplated the thought of just dating a girl in your own town? Honestly, it's thread like this that make me appreciate the fact that I am not married just by legal advice.

Thanks for the fair comments..
And yes you are pretty close to the mark/facts..

I think the answer to your local girl question is...
I have a big job, managing a international bil$ company from my house.. which chews up 60+ hours a week.
Which is why i used to fly to offices around the world every few weeks, prior to covid.
And i live remote, with not many people around where i live (Sheep farm country) hehehe

So i know 100k people online., dont know anyone offline.
Then stumbled on a online relationship, which suited my work and living..

Since im important to work, they allowed me to manage their company from my new (GF's house) office in colombia.,
They however werent impressed with me putting myself in danger.

 

[InannahQoH]

Hopefully everyone in here has watched at least one or a few seasons of 90 Day Fiance right?

No, perhaps i should have before leaving? Does it end on day 4? hehe

Honestly, you are right. Having done completely insane things in my 20s, and beyond that I have to say, I always, personally, tend not to judge. But this screams madness. Report back is the only thing I would say.

What do you mean by "Report back" .. fly back to AUS?

 

[InannahQoH]

That context helps but still the way that's described sucks

I left my cat behind with family when I moved countries but I'd never say abandoned.. maybe he didn't realize the tone that would hit?

Understand..
Perhaps not the best wording, or language differences with Australia.

Family's in AUS, I am not..
Was my choice to move to another country where visiting is no longer possible.. ETC

 

[AmberCutie]

No, perhaps i should have before leaving? Does it end on day 4? hehe

It's a pretty in-depth look at other people in your situation. Usually it's someone from the US dating someone from a foreign country. Shows them going through the marriage visa process, and the ulterior motives of some of the foreign people in some cases.

They also show the couples using some digital translation devices/apps for communicating with each other.

 

[inertvolcano]

Hopefully everyone in here has watched at least one or a few seasons of 90 Day Fiance right?

I love that show! Though generally I found the Americans and their families to be the villains of the series.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

I think it is maybe an Australian thing. Hyperbole, irony; hard to explain. But I understood immediately that he didn't actually abandon his dog. Sometimes we Aussies don't realise how opaque our language can be to others

Understand..
Perhaps not the best wording, or language differences with Australia.

Family's in AUS, I am not..
Was my choice to move to another country where visiting is no longer possible.. ETC

I dunno I'm an expat kiwi.. maybe I'm more Americanized than I thought.

 

[norcalmd]

I’m just curious, what’s the age difference and do you have any tattoos?

 

[Ozzie_]

I dunno I'm an expat kiwi.. maybe I'm more Americanized than I thought.

Must be We are supposed to be kindred spirits, I thought.

 

[Scottica]

Understand..
Perhaps not the best wording, or language differences with Australia.

Family's in AUS, I am not..
Was my choice to move to another country where visiting is no longer possible.. ETC

@InannahQoH
Question, and I apologize if I missed this....are you still tipping her? What was it like when you stopped?

 

[InannahQoH]

@InannahQoH
Question, and I apologize if I missed this....are you still tipping her? What was it like when you stopped?

I tip her if/when i feel like it , yes..
Not in the last week with the transit and prep.

But our finances are pretty blurred at the moment.
With her buying me my needs, like 10ft tables, and a fridge full of milk and steak, hire cars, office chairs, ETC..
So we tally up occasionally.

And she tells me off for tipping sometimes..
Cause her goal is to have her room self sufficient / she prefers others tipping.

So yeah, not noticed any difference in her whether i tip, or not.

 

[Scottica]

I tip her if/when i feel like it , yes..
Not in the last week with the transit and prep.

But our finances are pretty blurred at the moment.
With her buying me my needs, like 10ft tables, and a fridge full of milk and steak, hire cars, office chairs, ETC..
So we tally up occasionally.

And she tells me off for tipping sometimes..
Cause her goal is to have her room self sufficient / she prefers others tipping.

So yeah, not noticed any difference in her whether i tip, or not.

May I suggest stopping altogether? And for at least 30 days. No explanation. You'll see what is what within 2 weeks...and then what comes out after that will be real. my 2 cents. I have done this....witnessing the results was helpful.
Wait, I missed something....you are already in Colombia?

 

[inertvolcano]

They are living together and paying for each other so him stopping tipping won't be particularly instructive, I think. In general I think it's safe to say this is well past the point of being some kind of scam to extract tips out of him. They are cohabitating and having a relationship together.

 

[AudriTwo]

I love that show! Though generally I found the Americans and their families to be the villains of the series.

americans tend to be self-centered assholes.
-an american.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

What do you mean by "Report back"

Just to keep the thread updated, If you wish, about such a not so jolly journey in my eyes, for which I believe or at least hope you already have in place a Plan B and an exit strategy, should things go down south, or the proverbial hit the fan.

Personally, I don't find particularly exciting the thought of being stuck in a place for most of the time, and certainly not in a seedy Colombian neighborhood. Not that something of the sort has not happened to me a couple of time, but it was a nice resort in Africa with security and armed guys basically following you around and wherever you wanted to go. Nice trip for a week or two. More than that, and the whole idea already stresses me out. Wish you well and that is worth it.

 

[Scottica]

americans tend to be self-centered assholes.
-an american.

tough to deny

 

[InannahQoH]

May I suggest stopping altogether? And for at least 30 days. No explanation. You'll see what is what within 2 weeks...and then what comes out after that will be real. my 2 cents. I have done this....witnessing the results was helpful.
Wait, I missed something....you are already in Colombia?

Yeah already in Colombia.
Timelines been

22 May 2021 Met her online
June 2021 asked her to leave her agency, and id help manage her.
And I opened 7-8 platforms, 4-5 fanclubs, 4 social media's and a couple of bank accounts.. In her name with her ID.
July she swapped to the new accounts as independent (with my free help)
July, used the extra new platform income to .. ask her to get a decent 3 story house to broadcast from.
And increase her computer equipment and cameras/monitors to a decent rig.
July swapped to more of a couple situation.
August got online married / not legal.
November started preparing to live together
Dec->March got locked down with Covid
April-May I delayed a bit as there was a lot to prepare, and flying to Colombia was scary.
June 8-11 I transited.

 

[InannahQoH]

They are living together and paying for each other so him stopping tipping won't be particularly instructive, I think. In general I think it's safe to say this is well past the point of being some kind of scam to extract tips out of him. They are cohabitating and having a relationship together.

Slept with her with my had on her ass, for the last 4 days.. With no other sexual..
Met her family who live close by..

Its a bit confusing if we are a 13 month relationship..
Or only just met.. And its both.. And shes not used to boyfriends / relationships.
As she works a lot, lives online, and anyone she does meet in real life, just wants her to stop working.

 

[inertvolcano]

Mind if I ask why you never met in person before for a short trip or stay? Jumping right into living together is a big step.