AmberCutie's Forum
An adult community for cam models and members to discuss all the things!

Meeting a customer in real life.

  • ** WARNING - ACF CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT **
    Only persons aged 18 or over may read or post to the forums, without regard to whether an adult actually owns the registration or parental/guardian permission. AmberCutie's Forum (ACF) is for use by adults only and contains adult content. By continuing to use this site you are confirming that you are at least 18 years of age.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Update: so this girl thought it would be a great idea to put on fb that we were in a relationship, long story short funny to say lol but mom didn't believe she was real so messaged like 20 of her friends and her ex and she found out that she is a cam model etc and found the girls boss on Facebook too and now this girl is loosing her job at cam studio today because of this, idk how to react even tho today she was going to quit and cam from home but her ex told my mom that she cheated on him multiple times and that she is a really bad person and pretty much a prostitute. Is a crazy situation unfolding lol
I can only imagine what sort of bullshit some cam model's exes would say about them.

I'm of two minds on this one.
You're now indirectly responsible for her (supposedly) losing her job (only a bit early, but still). If she's a scammer she's going to hold that over you when she asks for money/assistance of some sort.
Her ex saying hateful shit about her makes me think she might be for real. What cam model hasn't been called a derogatory name by an angry dude? Most of them conflate online cam work with in-person sex work. She might be a Full Service Sex Worker, not inherently a bad thing, but definitely something that you should discuss.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SaffronBurke
I can only imagine what sort of bullshit some cam model's exes would say about them.

I'm of two minds on this one.
You're now indirectly responsible for her (supposedly) losing her job (only a bit early, but still). If she's a scammer she's going to hold that over you when she asks for money/assistance of some sort.
Her ex saying hateful shit about her makes me think she might be for real. What cam model hasn't been called a derogatory name by an angry dude? Most of them conflate online cam work with in-person sex work. She might be a Full Service Sex Worker, not inherently a bad thing, but definitely something that you should discuss.
Yeah her boss sent my mom message saying that she no longer works there and shit sounds weird haha but uh she facetimed me earlier this morning crying because she doesn't want me or my family to think I'm going to get killed by her but she thanked me very much about losing her job because she said she was tired of feeling like an object :/
 
Wait. My coffee has just kicked in. Why is she Facebook friends with her boss on her real-life Facebook? That.... doesn't sound right.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SaffronBurke
Wait. My coffee has just kicked in. Why is she Facebook friends with her boss on her real-life Facebook? That.... doesn't sound right.
Young and stupid (inexperienced)? Not the first time I heard this.
 
Wait. My coffee has just kicked in. Why is she Facebook friends with her boss on her real-life Facebook? That.... doesn't sound right.
Her boss is a female around her age and her husband the one that owns the studio, she thought she could trust and thought she was friends with her boss they even go out of town together and shit but not anymore she couldn't believe whather boss was saying
 
Triple red flag....I am twice your age but twice crazy too, in your shoes might even had gone there without even an opinion check like you are doing here (shows that at least a part of the brain neurons are fighting their way up), but IMO, the situation rings so, so many alarm bells.

Sorry if I have not read through all the thread, but... have you considered inviting her for some short holidays ? The money to be wasted is about the same, but the risk is slightly lower, as would be in your place (not necessarily your home, I might as well rent a hotel room there, just to not give your location... ). At least in your country you have better knowledge of most things. If you offer to pay her plane ticket and invite her letting her be your guest, and she says no, well, there might be a reason solid enough to convince you that you were having a welcome party being prepared there in Europe... And the reason she could give you now against that "I can't, I'd loose my Studio's job" now would be fully invalid, as she's just been given the sack (euh...supposedly, lol) by her boss (IMO all that story itself adds strange factors to the whole already weak whole thing) . So, her plan now is install herself at home, so not to share with an studio (which if were true, would be a clever move, of course, studios can take up to 70%...from the 50% left after the, for example MFC %)... If that's true. As if it isn't, next almost sure step is she would cry to you that now she's unemployed, she needs money (but would tell you she's not asking for it) to purchase the computer, the 920 logitech, later the monthly cable net bill, etc, etc, etc. IMO, is better if you invite her to your country than you going in your tender infatuation to Romania. ;). I do see risks too in bringing her for a visit/vacation, but quite reduced: Is your territory ! . Again, the sensible thing here would be saying 'goodbye fair well' and just relate more with people in your place. But if insist in the craziness, well I dunno US, as I think is more rigid in that matter, but in many countries you can invite someone to your house during some months (in mine is 3) and be officially considered a vacation/tourist visit (in mine requires a previous paperwork in a police station and maybe some other admin paperwork). The one (you) receiving the woman/man, depending on each country laws, might need to demonstrate (ie, bank data, etc) having enough money to host the person (ie, food, etc) and a decent enough place so that another person can be living there for 3 months (obviously a regular tourist just go to a hotel and not all this thing is needed...in many countries there's needed some extra document to stay certain time). When it's more time, you need a residence license, that again, depends on the country, it tends to be by work (but often that's a complex route), studies, having a son, or freaking marriage. I for sure never would do the marriage one, and that even before reading experiences like those from the poster some posts above. Heck I'd rarely get married even with some1 I'd be quite in love. At least, this is so in my country, but laws differ a lot from country to country. And a lot of people do so (the just per some months holidays thing) with people which are not in dire money situations, that just like to travel, but do it in this sort of modern ways. Yet though, I have a friend who told me that due to some recent bad experiences she's not up to doing so anymore, (and she had done it a lot) and she loved that, both going to countries this way and the receiving later this people at her house, in a sort of exchange. She did not tell me in detail about those recent bad experiences, though. She keeps travelling a lot, though.(but from what I guess, all through hotels, agencies, etc. IMO going always for the safest way possible, I guess. )

Oh, and...like in all I say, I could be terribly wrong (she might be just a good girl struggling to survive as a cam model with low camscore, and without bad intentions), but I'd be very wary if doing so (coming to visit you) she requires that her "cousin" or uncle comes with her, lol... lol, again very complex situation, as, tho as suspicious as it sounds, it also very well could be that she or her family would be a bit afraid of the travel alone to another country.

Geez, just go to the local pub/disco.

:D :D :D :D :D :D
 
Last edited:
Damn, 20 year olds come with moms. I forgot about that...
 
The US will likely not approve a tourist visa in her case. No strong ties to Romania, and too high risk for green card "fraud". Meeting somewhere in Europe could be feasible and more neutral territory, but seriously, this is starting to sound like too much of a headache already for a 20 year old. If you want to meet local girls, give animal rescue/volunteering a try. The ratio of female to male in that field is astronomical in favor of guys. :D Single guys who love dogs are like unicorns to my kind (crazy dog lady type). lol
 
I love dogs (and they usually love me)...Can't afford to have them, but due to money/time/space reasons... and unicorns... I draw 'em, even... Just real ones, like the ones I've seen. :D :D :D ....No funky colorful, manga-ish ones... These are drawn so just by people that never saw a real one... :D :D
Sorry, coffee makes me the opposite effect to some above poster...And I've had 3 today...
 
  • Like
Reactions: caramia
You can also meet some really hot females at Narcotics Anonymous meetings.
 
Threads like this one in many different cam model and other sex worker sites makes me wonder.Personally, I do not understand the desire to meet customers offline that some cam models seem to have. Also, I will never understand why cam customers can not keep their fantasies online? Then again, I am not a romantic by any means.From my viewpoint; I believe in total professionalism as a sex worker and I try not to break any of my clients' sexual or romantic illusions. Which means, I do not meet my cam, texting, or pso customers offline. Also, I keep an emotional distance as a sugar baby because I do not want to break any illusions. Disappointment and anger can arise from meeting in customers in person. Also it can arise when you show your true self or feelings as an sugar baby. However, I do hope for the best in your situation and that you find girls in your local area to hang out with. :cat:
 
I do have friendships with cam models (and I have never been really their client... well, I'm of no one, actually) that exceed by very far the distant treatment you mention, and is not the end of the world. Au contraire...Is quite interesting. Of course, is nothing related to "love", neither sex...But that way you described, sounds a bit like if any relation that starts online, in any social tool, can't end in something more...being skeptical as a rule is fine (and safe), but to come to a conclusion in that line could be in certain way non realistic, as well, 'cause nice stuff also happens: A friend of mine is happily married and knew her husband in a chat (not sex cams, but...) having a huge baby now, I do have friends I initially only knew in a forum (graphic artists, like me) then I and some others ended proposing to meet all, and now, well, only a few of them still in contact, but after many real life meetings, and deeper contacts, those are now absolutely great friends of mine, and also super great to have this level of friendship with people not only of my same profession, but indeed having the same focus at it. ). Not been "emotional" IMO, not that great advantage, in general, in several aspects, (of course, very convenient in some cases) but to each her/his own... I would agree though in the advice of not "falling in love" (I mean, don't push the fantasy) with someone only met online, by any site, cams related or not. Anyway, I'm probably not in the best perspective as I don't see the advantage of online sex fantasies, anyway...There's already enough amount of human relation fakes in RL... But that's me, am weird. (I applaud that it gives you all solid and nice income, of course...)
 
Finebrush,
I believe you misinterpreted my post completely. First of all, I never said that meeting people offline is bad or can go wrong. I was just talking about sex work only. Secondly, my "non-emotional"IMO as you put comes from both cultural and professional influences. In my culture, I do not get emotional with my clients as a sex worker unless that is apart of their fantasies. Men pay for my services and skills as much as they pay for my looks. They already know that being non-romantic is my thing. Third, it is a big deal to become friendly with your clients because they see a different side of you. Now, maybe some sex workers like that but I do not. Fourth, just because you have great friendships with cam models does not mean that all cam models desire that type of relationship with their clients. Also, you fail to realized that cam models are sex workers and there is a level of professionalism with that goes with that title. We are fantasy illusionists who supply men with romantic and sexual fantasies only. Nothing more or less. Many customers and sex workers should remember this.Sure, there are cam models and other sex workers who fall in love/date/ or become friends with their clients. But they are in the minority overall. Even the greatest of courtesans did not get emotional attached to their clients and everyone was happy.

As a sex worker for over 13 years; I believe that getting too personal with customers will hurt their fantasies and illusions. Should they be disappointed and hurt if their illusions get crushed after their favorite models falls to live up to their desires? Yes. However, both models and customers will be much happier if everything is kept professionally. You know, you pay for your sexual/romantic fantasies, get off, and leave. Your performer entertains and sexually/romantic fulfilled your needs. As I said before, if sex workers want to get friendly with their clients than that is their own affair However, I was talking about erotic performers like myself who want to get everything business-minded. As a newbie pso, I was warned over and over about outside interactions with customers and breaking the illusion.When I became a cam model; many people warned me about getting too emotional attached to customers. As a sugar baby, many of my sugar baby associates told me to keep my true feelings out of the arrangement. 95 percent of my customers never complained about my emotional take to this work. Plus,I am culturally different than my persona and I really do not want to break their fantasies about me. I am sure there are many sex workers and customers who just want to keep everything light-hearted.:cat:


I do have friendships with cam models (and I have never been really their client... well, I'm of no one, actually) that exceed by very far the distant treatment you mention, and is not the end of the world. Au contraire...Is quite interesting. Of course, is nothing related to "love", neither sex...But that way you described, sounds a bit like if any relation that starts online, in any social tool, can't end in something more...being skeptical as a rule is fine (and safe), but to come to a conclusion in that line could be in certain way non realistic, as well, 'cause nice stuff also happens: A friend of mine is happily married and knew her husband in a chat (not sex cams, but...) having a huge baby now, I do have friends I initially only knew in a forum (graphic artists, like me) then I and some others ended proposing to meet all, and now, well, only a few of them still in contact, but after many real life meetings, and deeper contacts, those are now absolutely great friends of mine, and also super great to have this level of friendship with people not only of my same profession, but indeed having the same focus at it. ). Not been "emotional" IMO, not that great advantage, in general, in several aspects, (of course, very convenient in some cases) but to each her/his own... I would agree though in the advice of not "falling in love" (I mean, don't push the fantasy) with someone only met online, by any site, cams related or not. Anyway, I'm probably not in the best perspective as I don't see the advantage of online sex fantasies, anyway...There's already enough amount of human relation fakes in RL... But that's me, am weird. (I applaud that it gives you all solid and nice income, of course...)
 
  • Like
Reactions: yummybrownfox
IMHO, you misunderstood me too, in some points, but okay... Anyway, in most fields, not every professional does things exactly the same way or have the same approach to the job (and rarely is there a single 'right' system/method). In my field, am friend of most online clients,(and clearly this has brought great benefits) but I know is not a really valid point in several ways, because if you work a lot with the sexual fantasy matter, (I work with fantasy but in a very different way...) I agree then in every point you said about that the actual sexual fantasy better stay online (but you seem to state the only possible way to relate to a customer(or guest, etc) is that sexual fantasy. My friendship, as an example, is not based in any sort of fantasy or role. True that I never really was a customer, but knew them both in their 'rooms'). But imo, not all cam models are the same, each one seems to apply her/his different game or tactic. Then again, that is just my opinion(and my only data is the observation of these two friends and what I might read around here, but that's it), which I express in a forum, nothing more, am not pretending to be a know it all of a profession which is not mine. And if anything, I might be heavily influenced by these two ones I know since many years, whose ways of work seem to have little in common with the way you do. (maybe they would be more successful, or maybe not, because personal circumstances, skills, personality, seems to affect strongly the tactic used by each one). Indeed, they don't actually have some of your professional profiles (their focus and activities seem to be quite different, if I understood well your lines). To one of them, things go quite well (not getting rich either), since many years, so I guess it is possible to have different methods in this profession. (again, she's not going friends with every customer or guest. She might have got a very little few through the years.) Indeed I've yet to know a profession where this does not happen(the different approach, sub-fields, different niches, etc)...Also, you were wondering about this behavior in the customers : "Also, I will never understand why cam customers can not keep their fantasies online". Well, you can wish and expect that their fantasies would be in their ideal limits, but imho that's difficult to control.

My bad though in connecting two different POVs that not necessarily come together: inferring that the 'coldness' was being applied as well to people one meets online, generally. Maybe I made this connection as in other threads, even long time ago, people posting tends to connect both things as a whole.
 
Last edited:
No offence, but if you aren't sure enough of your own judgement you have to ask here, then you shouldn't be going

All you've offered in the thread is a very shallow description of yourself, her and your relationship together; how could any one of us give good advice based off it?

</soundingoldandgrumpy>
 
I would be extremely cautious about staying with her and getting stuck in a situation that would be hard to get out of unless you have your own private space to have. With that being said GO but make the trip about yourself!! Stay in your own hotel/hostel so that in the morning you can walk to visit her and spend sometime checking the city out yourself without her feeling like you wanted to get away from her. If for whatever reason this doesn't end the way your hoping you can still enjoy the vacation and getting to see a new part of the country
 
  • Like
Reactions: weirdbr
Just really wanted to see if anyone else has done this, and what do u want to know.

I have got to know two friend models, great people, personally. And no problem at all. But what you have told here is said to be about 'love' (imo, illusion) and that fantasy, and I see dangers (emotional, financial and physical integrity dangers ) in the way you plan to do it and with your circumstances. If I don't fully recommend the not going idea is because some of these types of things (and here I might be speaking too generally, which was my error in past posts, sorry, as I know the models-customers relation is a very specific and complex one if is pretended to go beyond the usual limits, and I agree these limits should be considered (almost always, IMO)) where you know someone in complex situations : online only, with money in the middle (online or not), or during a trip without knowing anything really about the person and a large etc (ie, the recent boyfriend known offline who puts drug in your suitcase and you end up in jail: No online factor, neither money based relation, still even more dangerous), have happened to me, and my error was indeed being too cautious in a pair of key moments, and so, loosing great opportunities. But even so, this doesn't sound well, at all, this story. To me, at least. Probably the advice Scarlet Long just gave is among the best. Be extra cautious, better safe than sorry...(and IMO, also go with the red flag system on to check in what is she really interested...). I keep seeing the pouring sth in your drink while you're unaware one of the largest concerns...But if you care for that, go like a tourist knowing how to do things safe, and go only to very controlled public places, at least for a while, and staying in the hotel... That shouldn't be much different to travelling to this country as in a holiday trip. Like with any travel, check very well the warnings and specifics to be aware of about the country you visit, and even the region.

I don't need to know more info of the particular case, is more than enough. If is a true story (please, excuse my doubts, is just in the Facebook story were I see more strange details), well, what I have just said in the paragraph above, applies.
 
Ok I don't want to criticise your potential relationship with this girl, I don't know enough information. From what I do know is you're young, it sounds like you're lonely, which I'm assuming is one of the draws to camsites. When you get lonely you can practically find a connection in anyone. Camsites are perfect for this because you can imagine the chemistry you want, you get the best image of that person and you can give them your best image. You can talk for hours and hours every day, but you can interpret the conversation how you want it. It's very easy to make online connections. I've been a lonely camgirl and I've experienced this first hand.

Travelling to Romania is a long way to go, you've got to ask yourself really what will you gain. If you just want to meet her once and are happy to go home afterwards then awesome, travelling is great. I'd recommend bringing a friend with you, book a hotel, plan a few places and make a trip of it.

Imagine if you were a girl or knew a girl planning on meeting up with a romanian man she'd met online. Think of all the precautions you'd want her to take. You need to also take these. I know in the US men are relatively safe and don't have to worry as much as girls do, but forget that in this situation. You are at risk in this situation.

It reminds me of a year ago my brother started dating a girl he went to school with who came back to the UK from Australia. She messaged him all the time when she went back to oz. I happened to be living in Aus at the time so he thought he'd plan a 3 week holiday to stay with her, they arranged it together, she wanted him to stay at hers etc. He got there and she basically ignored him, even stayed at a friends one night leaving him at hers. He left hers, came to see me and had a great time with other travellers. Now my brother is very good looking and very intelligent and had already known this girl for years. Yet this stuff happens all the time. People change their minds, or people are just twats.

Have a backup plan always! Eastern Europe is actually awesome to travel this time of year, loads of people of your age group go round the hostels travelling by train until you get to Greece where you go by boat around the islands. If you've got some spare cash maybe form a plan for a proper holiday, it's really cheap there. See how it goes with your lady (if you still want to meet), but if it doesn't work out it's not a big deal, and if it does maybe she'd be up for going with you on holidays.

Either way, always trust your intuition over what you want to believe. If you can feel a part of yourself saying "no" it's probably your intuition and it's probably right.
 
This already sounds like more drama than it's worth. Maybe because of my player inclinations, I like to keep my relationships in their prospective bubbles. Everyone already knows everyone in your case and it's a huge headache. Why did you allow your mom to get involved? What does she think about you visiting a sex worker? All her friends are also in on it. They will all know you met on cam site even if it does have a chance to get serious. Potentially all her friends who didn't know she worked on a cam site now do. Maybe because you are young and none of these things matter but I think this situation is unsalvageable. I would move on.
 
This already sounds like more drama than it's worth. Maybe because of my player inclinations, I like to keep my relationships in their prospective bubbles. Everyone already knows everyone in your case and it's a huge headache. Why did you allow your mom to get involved? What does she think about you visiting a sex worker? All her friends are also in on it. They will all know you met on cam site even if it does have a chance to get serious. Potentially all her friends who didn't know she worked on a cam site now do. Maybe because you are young and none of these things matter but I think this situation is unsalvageable. I would move on.
I didn't allow her to get involved at all trust me I'm an adult the fact she got involved is embarrassing lol but uh my whole damn family Knows now so but I don't really give a fuck she was just concerned which I understand but this girl has been talkin to my mom now I feel this girl either wants a real relationship which would be really difficult or maybe just needs help in her life idk but I will help her as much as I can non financially because she still hasn't even asked for any money.
 
Well, if it'd were to be a solid story,(if the woman is sincere) the fact of the mother and friends (bit gossip) having an opinion or prejudice wouldn't be a factor to consider, at all, sex worker or not (or sex performance actress) or whatever the job, is none of their business. IMO the main factors here to consider is that the whole adventure might have physical risks if the person is not cautious(and I was super ignorant of many things at 20, but...actually quite more than this guy, surely) also that he might get convinced to put a lot of money by being fooled (u never now on Internet, but he sounds like a good guy), somehow, (besides the trip costs, I mean), and there's a more than obvious emotional risk. This last one, if taken the punch the right way (and hoping not receiving physical punches from the ex), might be good to suffer it, might help learning to know people better, and stuff.

Edit: If she has not asked any money, that a good thing. Still doesn't mean she's not going to...
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.