How to cope with GF being a Cam Girl?

[Mikey_P]

I just wonder how do you navigate 'mommy is naked, all your friends are free to see her, now deal with it.' That is the only thing I worry about for the kid.

I'm not sure I understand the implications. A mother that is able to be there whenever, wherever because she doesn't work 40 hour weeks? Being able to afford to go on all their school field trips?

 

[EspiKvlt]

That wouldn't be an issue when someone is a "kid." And when they're grown enough to know what any of this means, they won't be ignorant assholes, because they won't be raised that way.

 

[SexySteph]

I just wonder how do you navigate 'mommy is naked, all your friends are free to see her, now deal with it.' That is the only thing I worry about for the kid.

Would you tell your kid about the sex acts that you and their mom perform behind closed doors? No, right? All your kid needs to know is that their mommy is a stay at home mom and if questions arise when they're older just tell them their mom works at home and you don't go in her office.

Most camgirl mom's likely aren't camming when kids are awake and can hear them.

 

[Mikey_P]

That isn't what I mean. What I really mean is that the internet has a long memory, videos can easily be found, I worry about various forms of bullying and a kid dealing with friends and enemies finding those videos and how the child will process it all.

 

[heybarkeep]

I'm the jealous type but camming would not make me the least bit jealous but I would worry about the long-term implications of camming on any future family that we might make...

Yeah, dating a sex worker and having one be the mother of your children are two very different things.

 

[EspiKvlt]

I don't know about y'all, and I'm definitely not judging you if this isn't true for you, but the reason I date is to find the person I wanna be with and have kids with. So I don't see them as "very different," I see dating as the means to the happy end. If the person I'm with doesn't like the thought of having kids with me because I'm a sex worker, I will not continue to date them. End o story.

 

[alexa_voltage]

That isn't what I mean. What I really mean is that the internet has a long memory, videos can easily be found, I worry about various forms of bullying and a kid dealing with friends and enemies finding those videos and how the child will process it all.

I was bullied all throughout school and my mom wasnt a sex worker. So bullying happens. Teach your kids to be tough or just dont date sex workers. That simple.

 

[SexySteph]

That isn't what I mean. What I really mean is that the internet has a long memory, videos can easily be found, I worry about various forms of bullying and a kid dealing with friends and enemies finding those videos and how the child will process it all.

Kids can be bullied for anything. Literally anything.

I'm not saying you should date a sex worker because based on your attitude around sex workers as mothers, I don't think any sex worker should put herself through that. But think about what you're saying. If your kid needed braces, would you say no because they would be bullied? If your kid was gay would you suggest they stay closeted so they aren't bullied?

I'm by no means saying anyone should date a camgirl, but choosing to not be with someone you're interested in because "our kids might be bullied someday" seems kinda silly. And insulting to that person.

 

[Mikey_P]

That actually isn't what I said, what I actually said: I would be worried about the implications, not that any decision would be made on that alone.

Sure there are all types of bullying but this is fairly specific concern.

 

[LioraVox]

When I was with my ex and started camming his problem was that he considered some things I share with cam members as things that are/should be "just for him". The thing is, the issue was more of him claiming pieces of me. It's like being a child and seeing another kid playing with your favorite toy of the moment. It sparks jealously, the fact that she's willingly sharing these parts of herself with other people can make you feel insecure because maybe you feel like you're not enough in some way. Maybe the praise or admiration is what bothers you, because you don't feel like you can give her enough compared to her cam members.

But all in all, these feelings all lie within you and it's honestly nothing she can fix unless she stops camming, and as posted before could cause issues later. Maybe, you can ask her to not post the same pictures she sends you & to set a specific time to give you undivided attention. Like if it's 6pm and you're talking about your day that can be a time where she doesn't check Twitter or chat with members it's just a time for you and her.

But you definitely have to work on not claiming aspects of her "for your eyes only" because that's not up to you to decide.

 

[Mikey_P]

I bet it is easier to date a cam model if she was already camming when you met her and was up front about it. If you are already in a relationship and then she decides to do it that might be harder for some guys to deal with.

 

[Mila_]

This is kind of one of the issues where i will probably only be able to stay with her for a weekend every month, our relationship is mostly over text and skype and as Kitsune said it can feel like i get the same as the guys that watch her sexual wise (obliviously they don't get to actually know her true personality ect) but it is quite difficult when i see her posting photos of herself on twitter when i get the same kind of stuff. i know that its a completely different meaning but at the end of the day she is still posting nudes and getting naked in the same kind of way that i get to enjoy, it might sound selfish but then surely i am allowed to be selfish over my girlfriends body. i have improved massively but that anxiety is there still. Its no where near as bad but i don't understand why people are recommending us to break up over what? a 'job'? its not like i started dating her knowing that this would happen, as i said i have been dating her for over a year and love her truly and wouldn't just ditch her for that. But thank you for all your comments i appreciate it

I don't know at this point from what you have told us if she is willing to compromise for the sake of the relationship, but there are many different ways to cam. There are non-nude models and some of them are incredibly successful. There are models who do artistic nudity only, no hardcore stuff. There are models who do hardcore but never do private shows or shoot content. It isn't a binary situation, either full on cum shows in public chat or quitting the job.

 

[Mikey_P]

I need to date a cam model as a form of personality refinement, testing and ego evolution. Ladies send PMs!

 

[Mila_]

I need to date a cam model as a form of personality refinement, testing and ego evolution. Ladies send PMs!

When are we getting that puke rating @AmberCutie ?

 

[SexySteph]

I bet it is easier to date a cam model if she was already camming when you met her and was up front about it. If you are already in a relationship and then she decides to do it that might be harder for some guys to deal with.

From what I've seen and heard about, its the opposite. It's easier for a couple to grow together and become comfortable with her transition to camming together instead of beginning to date a girl, her letting you know she's a camgirl and then you having come to terms with it abruptly. (It's not really safe for girls to come out about camming until she knows she can trust that person with all that info).

ETA: It'd likely be different for a member entering a relationship with a camgirl since you'd known from the very beginning.

 

[heybarkeep]

People disagree with facts, strange. I'll try to explain. Dating is different for everyone. What might be ok for some won't be ok for others. Dating a sex worker is no big deal, can walk away at anytime. Having a kid with one is a lifelong commitment. Two very different things.

 

[Mikey_P]

People disagree with facts, strange.

Welcome to ACF! Where ppl will mash the disagree button in response to something that doesn't have anything to do with agreement or disagreement!

 

[Tilly]

Dating a sex worker is no big deal, can walk away at anytime. Having a kid with one is a lifelong commitment. Two very different things.

...So keep your dick to yourself and don't have any kids. Problem solved.

 

[EspiKvlt]

If you feel like "I can walk away at any time!" is the way to enter a relationship when it comes to dating sex workers, you probably shouldn't be dating sex workers.

(If you feel that way in every relationship, I don't know, man, good luck with that.)

 

[heybarkeep]

Welcome to ACF! Where ppl will mash the disagree button in response to something that doesn't have anything to do with agreement or disagreement!

haha I don't mind it. If anything, I appreciate it. Really easy way to figure out who not to take seriously.

 

[EllaGray]

Do you want her to be happy? Financially stable? Being in a relationship means that you should want the absolute best for your partner. She has to live her life and if its made better by what camming affords, then you've gotta be ok with that.

Would you rather she work a bare minimum wage job and be sad and strung out all the time because of money issues? If camming helps her, she'll be able to have a better life for herself and that should, by extension make you happy.

 

[LilPixy]

People disagree with facts, strange. I'll try to explain. Dating is different for everyone. What might be ok for some won't be ok for others. Dating a sex worker is no big deal, can walk away at anytime. Having a kid with one is a lifelong commitment. Two very different things.

Well, if you put less value on people/ relationship with with them because of their job, don't expect us to agree.

I'll end here because I'd may say too much.

 

[Ms_Diane]

People disagree with facts, strange. I'll try to explain. Dating is different for everyone. What might be ok for some won't be ok for others. Dating a sex worker is no big deal, can walk away at anytime. Having a kid with one is a lifelong commitment. Two very different things.

I think maybe if you just said, dating someone is not big deal cause you can walk away anytime but having a kid with someone is a lifelong commitment, then you would get lots of agrees. Blaming it on the sex work is kind of misplaced and you come across as judge-y. The world is not too kind to sex workers though, so I get the concern. Perhaps that is all you are alluding to, which might be helpful to the OP in understanding where his issues with sex work come from, which might in turn help him deal with his problems with his gf.

For the OP, when it comes down to whether or not a relationship lasts and is healthy, it is not really about someone's job as a sex worker, but about how the people in the relationship deal with it, as they would any issue, if it is even an issue at all. I dated someone who had issues with it and it was heartbreaking for both of us. He tried to get over it, he had even cammed in the past himself with his ex, but that didn't seem to help him deal with his feelings about my camming. When we first started seeing each other I was not looking for something serious and he was the one who wanted commitment so I gave it a try and fell in love with him. I honestly wish it hadn't gotten serious. I could have done without the heartbreak and his nasty digs about sex work when I broke up with him. We didn't break up solely because of sex work, but it was a major sign of bigger issues that he couldn't resolve. I think the best thing to do, is to be as honest as you can with yourself and your girlfriend. Really take stock of your feelings about sex work and see if you think it is something you can work on. If it's not, then there is a hard decision to be made. It might help to read up on sex work, there's lots of stuff out there, personal experiences, the politics of it, etc. It might help you to understand it in a different way and help change your perspective.

 

[Mikey_P]

From what I've seen and heard about, its the opposite. It's easier for a couple to grow together and become comfortable with her transition to camming together instead of beginning to date a girl, her letting you know she's a camgirl and then you having come to terms with it abruptly. (It's not really safe for girls to come out about camming until she knows she can trust that person with all that info).

ETA: It'd likely be different for a member entering a relationship with a camgirl since you'd known from the very beginning.

Oddly enough, from how many here frame the decision to cam, it really is a one directional growth that is happening. The partner accepting and learning how to deal with their cam model partner. For the most part, it becomes a sort of I'm doing it anyway, deal with it, non-proposition. I have yet to hear how a model helps their partner deal with their job but only how the non-camming partner should react. I think that lacks balance.

I know personally I would rather know up front vs someone deciding to become a cam model in the middle of a relationship. Why? Because I/we probably have already figured out how our relationship flows, maybe even have decided long-term goals but when hit with the 'this is who I'm becoming deal with it' attitude-- that creates a lot of new issues. All the issues that we have all talked about on this forum before.

 

[SexySteph]

Oddly enough, from how many here frame the decision to cam, it really is a one directional growth that is happening. The partner accepting and learning how to deal with their cam model partner. For the most part, it becomes a sort of I'm doing it anyway, deal with it, non-proposition. I have yet to hear how a model helps their partner deal with their job but only how the non-camming partner should react. I think that lacks balance.

We are giving advice to OP. Not explaining how camming affected our real life relationships. For those of us that are in relationships, what happened in them is irrelevant to this conversation because they're different from OPs situation. That doesn't mean we were all running our relationship like "I'm doing this, get used to it".

OP and his gf have already talked about it, she has decided that she's going to do it. We're not giving her advice. We're giving him advice, and that advice is based on the assumption that she either won't stop camming or will but will resent him for making her stop.

 

[BiancaBaker]

Oddly enough, from how many here frame the decision to cam, it really is a one directional growth that is happening. The partner accepting and learning how to deal with their cam model partner. For the most part, it becomes a sort of I'm doing it anyway, deal with it, non-proposition. I have yet to hear how a model helps their partner deal with their job but only how the non-camming partner should react. I think that lacks balance.

I know personally I would rather know up front vs someone deciding to become a cam model in the middle of a relationship. Why? Because I/we probably have already figured out how our relationship flows, maybe even have decided long-term goals but when hit with the 'this is who I'm becoming deal with it' attitude-- that creates a lot of new issues. All the issues that we have all talked about on this forum before.

I have no idea why you are on a forum full of camgirls and members who like camgirls... You are such an ass. You don't have to date a cam girl and you shouldn't. I make an average salary of someone with a law degree or medical degree so there is 0 reason for me to have a conventional job. Whether I was single or with someone when I decided to do this has nothing to do with the fact that this is what I wanted to do. There are so many sex workers who are mom's, have husbands, boyfriends and partners who are extremely positive and accept the girl for the girl and not her job. It takes a certain kind of guy to be with a sex worker and your obviously not one of them and that's fine but to question other people's relationships and how men deal with this job is ridiculous. There are guys who support this line of work and have respect for a sex worker.

You are obviously not one of these people from what you have said in this thread.

 

[Dani Picas]

Oddly enough, from how many here frame the decision to cam, it really is a one directional growth that is happening. The partner accepting and learning how to deal with their cam model partner. For the most part, it becomes a sort of I'm doing it anyway, deal with it, non-proposition. I have yet to hear how a model helps their partner deal with their job but only how the non-camming partner should react. I think that lacks balance.

I know personally I would rather know up front vs someone deciding to become a cam model in the middle of a relationship. Why? Because I/we probably have already figured out how our relationship flows, maybe even have decided long-term goals but when hit with the 'this is who I'm becoming deal with it' attitude-- that creates a lot of new issues. All the issues that we have all talked about on this forum before.

I think its funny you say this cause 1. I TOTALLY disagree, I have heard of so many people, and on threads here of how to help you partner deal with your new job. It all happens through talking too, or finding a way to work you are both comfortable with eg. non nude, only public, only pvt based etc etc.

Also.. the idea of making a life changing decision and expecting your partner to deal with it with you doesn´t just apply to SW. Let´s say for example, I want to go live in a small town in Africa to help them build a well. Im going to do this until further notice cause I want to help people! Well, my partner is going to have to be okay with this, we are going to have to work it out together. And if he wants to do something like that too, then I am going to have to work it out with them.

For me, a life partner is someone you can grow WITH. You can be your own people and do what is good for you, with the other there by your side always. It is not someone that you meet, fully grown and can´t change anything about your life if it is hard for the other to deal with. You don´t become static once you get married, or have a baby, or start dating.

I think it is silly to treat being a cam girl different to other life changing decisions. In a healthy relationship, you work it out together, you want what is best for the other.

If, in the end, you can´t do this. You don´t have a healthy relationship.

Also, this thread is about the OP wanting to know how to deal with his new cam girl girlfriend. So we are giving him advice. Obviously we can´t hear what the girlfriend is going through, and we don´t know if she is also asking herself ´How do I help him deal with this with me?´ so it is unfair of you to assume she isn´t just because she doesn´t have a voice in this conversation. Just like many threads that happen here.

 

[BiancaBaker]

I think its funny you say this cause 1. I TOTALLY disagree, I have heard of so many people, and on threads here of how to help you partner deal with your new job. It all happens through talking too, or finding a way to work you are both comfortable with eg. non nude, only public, only pvt based etc etc.

Also.. the idea of making a life changing decision and expecting your partner to deal with it with you doesn´t just apply to SW. Let´s say for example, I want to go live in a small town in Africa to help them build a well. Im going to do this until further notice cause I want to help people! Well, my partner is going to have to be okay with this, we are going to have to work it out together. And if he wants to do something like that too, then I am going to have to work it out with them.

For me, a life partner is someone you can grow WITH. You can be your own people and do what is good for you, with the other there by your side always. It is not someone that you meet, fully grown and can´t change anything about your life if it is hard for the other to deal with. You don´t become static once you get married, or have a baby, or start dating.

I think it is silly to treat being a cam girl different to other life changing decisions. In a healthy relationship, you work it out together, you want what is best for the other.

If, in the end, you can´t do this. You don´t have a healthy relationship.

Also, this thread is about the OP wanting to know how to deal with his new cam girl girlfriend. So we are giving him advice. Obviously we can´t hear what the girlfriend is going through, and we don´t know if she is also asking herself ´How do I help him deal with this with me?´ so it is unfair of you to assume she isn´t just because she doesn´t have a voice in this conversation. Just like many threads that happen here.

I wish I could like this a million times.

 

[Mikey_P]

Why do you all keep giving examples of other careers and scenarios, as if they are needed? I am obviously speaking to a line of thinking that happens from thread to thread and a very odd need for endless agreement. Look at how one poster went into name calling because she disagreed! Also, a very one sided approach to these topics. Facepalm Facepalm Disagree Chill Pill Bro! LOL

 

[SexySteph]

Why do you all keep giving examples of other careers and scenarios, as if they are needed? I am obviously speaking to a line of thinking that happens from thread to thread and a very odd need for endless agreement. Look at how one poster went into name calling because she disagreed! Also, a very one sided approach to these topics. Facepalm Facepalm Disagree Chill Pill Bro! LOL

The line of thinking in these threads is because we are only talking to the boyfriend. We're not giving them couples counselling. We're telling the boyfriends how to deal with something that's already decided. And those other careers and scenarios would be helpful to most people that hadn't already decided "camgirls are selfish and in a relationship with them it seems to be their way or the highway".