How to cope with GF being a Cam Girl?

[Mikey_P]

The line of thinking in these threads is because we are only talking to the boyfriend. We're not giving them couples counselling. We're telling the boyfriends how to deal with something that's already decided. And those other careers and scenarios would be helpful to most people that hadn't already decided "camgirls are selfish and in a relationship with them it seems to be their way or the highway".

I find that to be a bit too basic but thank you for not being a jerk!

 

[SexySteph]

I find that to be a bit too basic but thank you for not being a jerk!

How is that too basic? That's the exact explanation. What more complex explanation are you looking for?

 

[Mikey_P]

How is that too basic? That's the exact explanation. What more complex explanation are you looking for?

More abstraction, global thinking, the ability to zoom out, less myopia and I don't agree that those responses are just because it is the partner asking for advice in these threads. Instead it is just a projection of their own character. There is always a cohort of model posters who present the same cognition free attitude.

 

[SexySteph]

More abstraction, global thinking, the ability to zoom out, less myopia and I don't agree that those responses are just because it is the partner asking for advice in these threads. There is always a cohort of model posters who present the same cognition free attitude.

So do you think we'd be giving the same advice in a different scenario? Even though multiples of us just said we wouldn't? I don't think our response is myopic, it's just reality.

 

[Gen]

Also, a very one sided approach to these topics.

He asked "how to cope", not "how to make my gf quit". And basically the advice to give him is "learn to relax about it, or break up". What other advice, applicable to him, would you give?

 

[Mikey_P]

So do you think we'd be giving the same advice in a different scenario? Even though multiples of us just said we wouldn't? I don't think our response is myopic, it's just reality.

The smarter and more thoughtful models no; the ones who are stuck in character projection mode... yes.

 

[Serenity_Tam]

More abstraction, global thinking, the ability to zoom out, less myopia and I don't agree that those responses are just because it is the partner asking for advice in these threads. There is always a cohort of model posters who present the same cognition free attitude.

Ye fellow of great knowledge. Please offer your advice to the poster. I imagine you have been in SoooooooOOOOooo many relationships with camgirls. Successful ones! SO you must have something relevant to say about his situation. Some great wordly anecdote that can actually help OP and be relevant. Because all you're doing right now is criticizing experienced opinions and derailing the thread that seemed like a genuine attempt from a caring boyfriend trying to navigate his relationship who asked for opinions. Stop making him irrelevant in your sordid little attempts to belittle the gals offering real opinions and advice.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Not to make light of OP's distress (it is a current thing, after all), but I have really been puzzling over this lately.

A model who quit a year ago is engaged to a basic who never tipped her. Camming was just a stepping stone for her. Yet after all this time, it is now suddenly bothering him; he's wanting to know what all she did in privates, any members she got close to, etc...

What the fuck? Damn...

 

[Mikey_P]

He asked "how to cope", not "how to make my gf quit". And basically the advice to give him is "learn to relax about it, or break up". What other advice, applicable to him, would you give?

Well, I'm not stuck on the advice that was given to this poster but I'm instead focused on the sort of automatic global canned replies and patterns of thinking that SOME use on this forum.

Also, it isn't just the accept or leave but the filler material that comes with it!

 

[SexySteph]

Well, I'm not stuck on the advice that was given to this poster but I'm instead focused on the sort of automatic global canned replies and patterns of thinking that SOME use on this forum.

Also, it isn't just the accept or leave but the filler material that comes with it!

If you wanna talk about all the threads, start another thread then. But in my recollection the vast majority of boyfriend threads are "how do I cope with my gf being a camgirl" not "my gf is considering becoming a camgirl, we'd both like to hear stories about how camming has effected your relationships and how camgirls and their partners came to a decision together about this topic".

Please, direct me to a thread where the boyfriend had come in with anything other than "how do I cope" or "how do I make her stop".

 

[Mikey_P]

Ye fellow of great knowledge. Please offer your advice to the poster. I imagine you have been in SoooooooOOOOooo many relationships with camgirls. Successful ones! SO you must have something relevant to say about his situation. Some great wordly anecdote that can actually help OP and be relevant. Because all you're doing right now is criticizing experienced opinions and derailing the thread that seemed like a genuine attempt from a caring boyfriend trying to navigate his relationship who asked for opinions. Stop making him irrelevant in your sordid little attempts to belittle the gals offering real opinions and advice.

I thought we solved this with 'learn to accept or leave' which is what the experts have suggested. So why are you asking for my wisdom? Why should the focus still be on the OP when we all derailed this a long time ago! Also, why are you trying to devalue me because I haven't dated tons of successful cam models, as if that is in my 5 year plan, along side with my professional and personal goals. Stop playing!

 

[Mikey_P]

If you wanna talk about all the threads, start another thread then. But in my recollection the vast majority of boyfriend threads are "how do I cope with my gf being a camgirl" not "my gf is considering becoming a camgirl, we'd both like to hear stories about how camming has effected your relationships and how camgirls and their partners came to a decision together about this topic".

Please, direct me to a thread where the boyfriend had come in with anything other than "how do I cope" or "how do I make her stop".

I don't think anyone is going to come in and ask how to make her stop on a forum dedicated to models and members! Probably the worst place to find such advice or the perfect place to find out why you can't make her stop. Meh. A lot of the threads are really about the feelings that they have and rarely just how I cope, although that might be what they are really asking for. I don't think we need another thread just for that!

 

[SexySteph]

I don't think anyone is going to come in and ask how to make her stop on a forum dedicated to models and members! Probably the worst place to find such advice or the perfect place to find out why you can't make her stop. Meh. A lot of the threads are really about the feelings that they have and rarely just how I cope, although that might be what they are really asking for. I don't think we need another thread just for that!

I think you missed what I was saying.

I have no recollection of boyfriend threads that have been much different from this one. So if you have examples of these threads, where we've given identical advice to in here, I'd love to see them. Otherwise you're claiming we give blanket answers to all camgirl/relationship combo questions, with no evidence to back that up. Because at least in this thread, I think the advice is pretty helpful and the only possible advice for the situation.

 

[AmberCutie]

Maybe a little insight from my husband back when I was still only a couple years into camming will shed some light on the subject? Since there really aren't any other husbands/SOs of cam girls around to chime in.




And another comment posted then about our relationship

 

[gfk2]

Thank you all for your replies even though this thread turned into a shit show with Mikey, My girlfriend is and has said she is doing this for me which is why i wanted to ask on how to cope with this issue rather than just make her quit as it does allow her to have more free time to enjoy uni, friends and myself. she has said that she is happy to stop camming if i cannot be happy with it, and we have both agreed to see how it goes when she is in university. I appreciate your replies and advice but i just feel that she should have at least waited until i was okay somewhat before she started rather than just starting as soon as she turned 18 to somewhat get back at me, it is quite hard especially as we have been dating a year before any of this happen but we will just see how it goes. obviously some partners will be okay with their partner camming but as not everyone is the same i am struggling to be content with it, but thank you for the replys

 

[BobbyB]

More abstraction, global thinking, the ability to zoom out, less myopia and I don't agree that those responses are just because it is the partner asking for advice in these threads. Instead it is just a projection of their own character. There is always a cohort of model posters who present the same cognition free attitude.

Just curious, does it give you a hard-on writing this stuff ?

 

[Tilly]

haha I don't mind it. If anything, I appreciate it. Really easy way to figure out who not to take seriously.

Good to know that your logic is "I don't take anyone seriously if they don't agree with what I have to say!"
That's the attitude of a closed minded child

 

[Mikey_P]

Just curious, does it give you a hard-on writing this stuff ?

Yes! Could you feel my hard on through that post?

 

[Finley]

Yeah, dating a sex worker and having one be the mother of your children are two very different things.

I'd like to chime in that I am a sex worker, am married (to not his dad) and have a 7 year old. There is such a thing as age appropriate conversations regarding sex and also your job as the child gets older. To this day my son doesn't know what I do for work and it will stay that way. We have parental controls on everything and you can't search my name or anything having to do with my work on his accounts. Sex workers take way more precautions than non-sex workers when it comes to this stuff. When he's older and knows what my job was/is, will I be ashamed? No. I will give him age appropriate facts, nothing more, nothing less, and he will know that I am a business woman and worked hard to provide the life that we have. There's only shame in sex and bodies if you make them shameful.

 

[heybarkeep]

Good to know that your logic is "I don't take anyone seriously if they don't agree with what I have to say!"
That's the attitude of a closed minded child

I'm just going to put you on ignore because this is the second time you've attempted to argue with me. First time made no sense and seemed to be a childlike tantrum. This is similar. Yes, if someone disagrees with simple facts, I can't take them seriously. I have no desire to argue with you. Find a different poster to take your anger out on.

 

[Mikey_P]

Good to know that your logic is "I don't take anyone seriously if they don't agree with what I have to say!"
That's the attitude of a closed minded child

Technically his line of logic lines up with yours but you don't see it because you are responding to a post out of context... Also, he isn't speaking of agreement but 'facts' and how to deal with ppl who bring agreement/disagreement into play when the facts in play don't logically allow that.

 

[BobbyB]

Yes! Could you feel my hard on through that post?

The "cognition free attitude." gave it away.....

 

[Guy]

I'd like to chime in that I am a sex worker, am married (to not his dad) and have a 7 year old. There is such a thing as age appropriate conversations regarding sex and also your job as the child gets older. To this day my son doesn't know what I do for work and it will stay that way. We have parental controls on everything and you can't search my name or anything having to do with my work on his accounts. Sex workers take way more precautions than non-sex workers when it comes to this stuff. When he's older and knows what my job was/is, will I be ashamed? No. I will give him age appropriate facts, nothing more, nothing less, and he will know that I am a business woman and worked hard to provide the life that we have. There's only shame in sex and bodies if you make them shameful.

When he gets older he might be able to figure out how to bypass parental controls. BTW: I agree with everything you just said and support you 100%. I just wanted to give you a heads up.

 

[Mikey_P]

I'd like to chime in that I am a sex worker, am married (to not his dad) and have a 7 year old. There is such a thing as age appropriate conversations regarding sex and also your job as the child gets older. To this day my son doesn't know what I do for work and it will stay that way. We have parental controls on everything and you can't search my name or anything having to do with my work on his accounts. Sex workers take way more precautions than non-sex workers when it comes to this stuff. When he's older and knows what my job was/is, will I be ashamed? No. I will give him age appropriate facts, nothing more, nothing less, and he will know that I am a business woman and worked hard to provide the life that we have. There's only shame in sex and bodies if you make them shameful.

That sounds good. What we/I was talking about earlier were other issues that could come up. A child's mother being outed by other kids, how that might weigh on the child and other BS.

This isn't directed at you but some models think that concern, not jumping on the bandwagon and NOT saying that everything will be perfect is someone having a negative attitude towards cam girls, which it is not, It is more due diligence and contingency planning.

 

[Finley]

When he gets older he might be able to figure out how to bypass parental controls. BTW: I agree with everything you just said and support you 100%. I just wanted to give you a heads up.

Oh the mister is a higher up tech dude. He's not bypassing anything lol

 

[Tilly]

I'm not trying to argue with anyone. Just think it's silly to get so upset over someone disagreeing with your post. Seems incredibly closed minded to write anyone off who has differing opinions than you.

The whole point of being on a forum (or communicating with other humans in general) is to get different perspective on various topics. When someone disagrees you needn't take personal offense. Not everyone's opinions will always be in line with yours. Get used to that, accept it, and life will be a lot easier. Over time maybe you can learn to appreciate varying opinions from other people. We all have our own thoughts and beliefs about things, as well as past experiences in life that shape our views on the world. I personally think it's nice that nobody is the same, both in physical appearance and in the interworkings of the mind. It can be frustrating when someone doesn't agree with you, but just imagine if everyone agreed on everything all the time. That would be so fucking boring.

 

[Tilly]

Technically his line of logic lines up with yours but you don't see it because you are responding to a post out of context... Also, he isn't speaking of agreement but 'facts' and how to deal with ppl who bring agreement/disagreement into play when the facts in play don't logically allow that.

I'm a blunt person with a dry sense of humor. My posts are misconstrued a lot of the time. I don't come onto here looking for a fight or an argument. I am only here to share my thoughts in hopes of opening the eyes of others. OP was looking for a way to "cope" with his girlfriend being a camgirl. I found it funny that so many men have such strong opinions about how the future of a relationship is doomed because of theoretical problems that may arise when children are thrown into the mix.

It's a fact that if he keeps his dick in his pants he won't get anyone pregnant, so he won't have to worry about if they are, were, or will ever become any form of the umbrella term SEX WORKER.

Only other thing I said was that it's pretty indisputable that it's completely immature to cast aside the opinions of people who do not agree with you. Listen and learn from others instead of always trying to be right. Agree to disagree. And realize that two people can actually be right at once (not that it matters) because things aren't so black and white and finite as they sometimes seem in a heated moment.

 

[Mikey_P]

I'm all about facts!



It's a fact that if he keeps his dick in his pants he won't get anyone pregnant, so he won't have to worry about if they are, were, or will ever become any form of the umbrella term SEX WORKER.

My other fact was that it's immature to cast aside the opinions of people who do not agree with you.
Kind of hard to argue the facts

His first post wasn't in response to you, tho. Yes, your logic is sort of correct but misapplied. I think he was simply saying that when ppl ignore logic, enter in opinion where it doesn't really fit, then you kinda know what you are dealing with, and when that happens-- don't take them seriously.

In many ways, he is suggesting the same approach as you but he simply knows that those ppl probably aren't going to really have anything of value to say.

He is right!

So it isn't about not accepting disagreement but knowing what type of person you are dealing with!

We have over fleshed this out!

 

[FluffyGalore]

Well this thread is now completely messed up.

 

[FluffyGalore]

@Mikey_P why have you disagreed. You have derailed the thread insulted pretty much every model that has tried to give advice and now your disagreeing with a simple statement.