How to avoid getting scammed...

[sofie]

Hey everyone. I'm new here but needed some tips. So I just turned 18 recently and decided I wanted to cam. I've done three nights on MFC and really really done well. But I've been bombarded with all sorts of offers and such and I'm not the best at telling a scam from something legit.

Just yesterday I let someone who seemed very legit have a business Skype session with an MFC member who makes custom profiles. He seemed very legit and professional but when we got on the Skype call to discuss business he was able to get into my head and control me in a way I've never been. He had me there for two hours doing what he wanted. He did give some advice but it wasn't anything I couldn't find elsewhere. He had reviews and a nice designed profile but the way he was talking to me he was obviously manipulating me. I was ignoring my boyfriends urgent calls and I missed an important meeting that I had scheduled to keep it going. And now he is still in my head even though after talking with my boyfriend I decided to block him.

I feel like maybe I'm too weak minded for this. I feel like I'll keep getting scammed or manipulated by these kinds of guys. Any advice on how to avoid that or make my mind stronger would be really helpful. Thanks.

 

[TashaRose]

To some extent, you're going to have to have a gut instinct on when someone is trying to scam you, and an ability to shut that stuff down and block dudes who try that stuff before it escalates to the extent it worked on you previously. There are no shortage of people trying to get something for free, even if it isn't inherently sexual- it may be the one on one attention they are getting from you. How much research did you do before jumping in to camming? If nothing else, i'd say do some research and be aware of the more common ways dudes try to scam. It does make me worry that you missed calls from your dude and an important meeting- camming is great, and if you want to do well, definitely take it seriously, but missing out on real life responsibilities over someone talking about custom profiles is a little silly. You have boundaries- in this case, the time you need to step away from the computer and deal with non-camming stuff, and regardless of the boundary, you need to be able to enforce it. Hell, I've quit shows before a member wanted, because I told them upfront before hand that I only had X amount of minutes available before I had to log off, and I hit that number. I can say, from my own experiences (no judgement on you purely on age), that when I was 18, telling people no, especially in situations involving work/money, was really difficult. I know that as much as from a money/looks perspective I wish I had started camming earlier, mentally I wasn't ready, and if I had started then, I would have been walked all over.

 

[sofie]

To some extent, you're going to have to have a gut instinct on when someone is trying to scam you, and an ability to shut that stuff down and block dudes who try that stuff before it escalates to the extent it worked on you previously. There are no shortage of people trying to get something for free, even if it isn't inherently sexual- it may be the one on one attention they are getting from you. How much research did you do before jumping in to camming? If nothing else, i'd say do some research and be aware of the more common ways dudes try to scam. It does make me worry that you missed calls from your dude and an important meeting- camming is great, and if you want to do well, definitely take it seriously, but missing out on real life responsibilities over someone talking about custom profiles is a little silly. You have boundaries- in this case, the time you need to step away from the computer and deal with non-camming stuff, and regardless of the boundary, you need to be able to enforce it. Hell, I've quit shows before a member wanted, because I told them upfront before hand that I only had X amount of minutes available before I had to log off, and I hit that number. I can say, from my own experiences (no judgement on you purely on age), that when I was 18, telling people no, especially in situations involving work/money, was really difficult. I know that as much as from a money/looks perspective I wish I had started camming earlier, mentally I wasn't ready, and if I had started then, I would have been walked all over.

Thank you for the reply and advice. It does help out! I did some research but probably not enough... I knew about this site but I should have taken more time to chat and talk.

I'm way too trusting and way too apologetic sometimes and I'm learning that I shouldn't be that way...

He seemed very legit and he still may be but I do realize he messed with me. He has a website with reviews from other MFC models but the second we got on the call he was able to pretty much dominant me in a way I've never been before. It caused a huge fight with my boyfriend after because he was almost encouraging us to fight when he had me hooked.

He was going to offer to help build me a profile for like $350 or he would trade Skype sessions. He had me doing whatever he wanted for two hours and then after said he wouldn't tell me exactly how long I would need to Skype him to earn a custom profile. As I type it out, I realize how stupid I was to go along with it. I'm tempted to post his twitter to see if other people have talked with him but I'm also fearful of making an enemy of someone who knows the camming world and is well connected.

 

[Kenzies_on_cam]

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/male-new-to-this-are-people-trying-to-scam-me.25836/

someone actually just made a similar thread the other day you can check out too! hope that helps

 

[CupcakeQuinn]

Hi there! I've only been camming for a few months, but wanted to share my experiences

I'm wayyyyy too nice. I'll give out freebies like snapchat, short skype conversations, and videos as a "thank you". Not a horrible thing to do, but being nice does make you an easy target. So does having the new model status. People assume you are easy to take advantage of because you either can't say no or haven't been around long enough to know when to say no.

Pretty much any guy out there offering to help you through skype is a goddamn scam. "Do u Skype? PM me bb I have an offer u'll like!" or "Do you take PayPal? I want to purchase a Skype show". They can retract their payment because PayPal doesn't allow payment for sexually oriented digital goods. So basically the guy will get a refund on his payment and you'll be out your time and money. If you really want to do Skype shows, have them pay the tokens upfront. I've found that once I told guys that they can only pay with tokens, they immediately left my room. Some may try to make you feel guilty before they leave "That sucks for you, you would have liked my offer!" "I would have given you $100 for 15 minutes, your loss"... Those were things actually said to me. If you can, ban those sorry sacks of crap.

Set a specific cost per minute, probably something similar to what you charge for private chats, maybe offer a discount for longer sessions, and clearly state the rules so that way if the member tries to dispute it for whatever reason, you can clearly point out that you gave them a heads up. Give a timer warning. If they pay for 15 minutes, set a timer with an alarm. When it gets close say "one minute left!" and disconnect when the alarm goes off. Some guys will try to pressure you to stay on longer without paying.

God, I know I sound like a skeptical bitch, but I've ran into enough douche canoes that I feel its valid.

Hope this helps! Good luck and happy camming!

*Edit* @Kenzies_on_cam posted a link that pretty much says what I just said hehe. She beat me to it!

 

[Kenzies_on_cam]

Hi there! I've only been camming for a few months, but wanted to share my experiences

I'm wayyyyy too nice. I'll give out freebies like snapchat, short skype conversations, and videos as a "thank you". Not a horrible thing to do, but being nice does make you an easy target. So does having the new model status. People assume you are easy to take advantage of because you either can't say no or haven't been around long enough to know when to say no.

Pretty much any guy out there offering to help you through skype is a goddamn scam. "Do u Skype? PM me bb I have an offer u'll like!" or "Do you take PayPal? I want to purchase a Skype show". They can retract their payment because PayPal doesn't allow payment for sexually oriented digital goods. So basically the guy will get a refund on his payment and you'll be out your time and money. If you really want to do Skype shows, have them pay the tokens upfront. I've found that once I told guys that they can only pay with tokens, they immediately left my room. Some may try to make you feel guilty before they leave "That sucks for you, you would have liked my offer!" "I would have given you $100 for 15 minutes, your loss"... Those were things actually said to me. If you can, ban those sorry sacks of crap.

Set a specific cost per minute, probably something similar to what you charge for private chats, maybe offer a discount for longer sessions, and clearly state the rules so that way if the member tries to dispute it for whatever reason, you can clearly point out that you gave them a heads up. Give a timer warning. If they pay for 15 minutes, set a timer with an alarm. When it gets close say "one minute left!" and disconnect when the alarm goes off. Some guys will try to pressure you to stay on longer without paying.

God, I know I sound like a skeptical bitch, but I've ran into enough douche canoes that I feel its valid.

Hope this helps! Good luck and happy camming!

nothing wrong with being skeptical! especially when you are new to a site the scammers just flock to those rooms trying to take advantage of the fact new girls dont know how the site works it makes me sad.

 

[Kenzies_on_cam]

Thank you for the reply and advice. It does help out! I did some research but probably not enough... I knew about this site but I should have taken more time to chat and talk.

I'm way too trusting and way too apologetic sometimes and I'm learning that I shouldn't be that way...

He seemed very legit and he still may be but I do realize he messed with me. He has a website with reviews from other MFC models but the second we got on the call he was able to pretty much dominant me in a way I've never been before. It caused a huge fight with my boyfriend after because he was almost encouraging us to fight when he had me hooked.

He was going to offer to help build me a profile for like $350 or he would trade Skype sessions. He had me doing whatever he wanted for two hours and then after said he wouldn't tell me exactly how long I would need to Skype him to earn a custom profile. As I type it out, I realize how stupid I was to go along with it. I'm tempted to post his twitter to see if other people have talked with him but I'm also fearful of making an enemy of someone who knows the camming world and is well connected.

don't let it get you down!!! and you aren't stupid! it happens to the best of us! I've done it too at the start, you learn and move on I see a lot of models get discouraged about camming from these type of situations when this happens but it gets better! they go away once they see you don't let anyone do that anymore

 

[sofie]

Thank you to everyone for the advice and encouragement!

 

[Phoenix4987]

Sorry to hear about this. Just consider it a lesson learned and move forward. It's good you talked with your boyfriend and blocked this guy before things got really out of hand. This site is full of support for you and I hope you're able to utilize the network to help you succeed. Best wishes

 

[Mila_]

Hey everyone. I'm new here but needed some tips. So I just turned 18 recently and decided I wanted to cam. I've done three nights on MFC and really really done well. But I've been bombarded with all sorts of offers and such and I'm not the best at telling a scam from something legit.

Just yesterday I let someone who seemed very legit have a business Skype session with an MFC member who makes custom profiles. He seemed very legit and professional but when we got on the Skype call to discuss business he was able to get into my head and control me in a way I've never been. He had me there for two hours doing what he wanted. He did give some advice but it wasn't anything I couldn't find elsewhere. He had reviews and a nice designed profile but the way he was talking to me he was obviously manipulating me. I was ignoring my boyfriends urgent calls and I missed an important meeting that I had scheduled to keep it going. And now he is still in my head even though after talking with my boyfriend I decided to block him.

I feel like maybe I'm too weak minded for this. I feel like I'll keep getting scammed or manipulated by these kinds of guys. Any advice on how to avoid that or make my mind stronger would be really helpful. Thanks.

You are not weak or dumb, we have all been through this. Nobody is born with the instinct to tell scammers from legit guys because camming is not real life, how often do you have these types of transactions in the real world? Never. So when you become a camgirl you have to learn a world of things that you never had to consider before. What happened to you is just lack of experience.

I will give you the same advice I give all the girls who come to ACF with similar issues: STICK TO MFC UNTIL YOU KNOW THE ROPES INSIDE OUT.

What does "stick to MFC" mean? Don't do Skype, don't do social media, don't hand out your email, don't accept any payment other than tokens: no paypal, no gift cards, nothing at all. Your activity as a camgirl should be limited to whatever functions MFC has. Nothing more. If you want to make content stick to photo sets that you can host on your MFC profile. No activity outside the camsite.

Why? Because sticking to MFC you are 100% protected. A member will never be able to scam you if he has to pay in tokens on the site. In order to scam you he has to have contact with you in a space he can control and in which he can take advantage. MFC doesn't give a member room to wiggle. Tokens will always cost the member money, he cannot promise and not deliver, and private shows always have a cost. There is no way to get scammed by sticking to the site.

Once you have gained experience you will be able to tell scammers from legit members apart in the majority of cases, or at least you will know how to protect yourself. Then, you can re-evaluate the situation and add stuff if you want to, you might end up realizing that you don't need to do any of those things anyway. In the mean time, if a member wants to talk to you privately, MFC has a great function called "private show" there is no way a member will scam you using MFC functions

 

[AerynShade]

Assume everyone is trying to scam you always. Then work backwards with that mindset.

Someone bought everything off your amazon wishlist? Wait until it all shows up at your house first to thank them.
Someone promises to pay for a Skype show afterwards? Money first, then show. Even just to talk. They want to talk, they pay.
Someone wants to offer you a modeling contract? Check to see if they even have a decent website or model mayhem account. Look for reviews. Reverse image search everything in their portfolio.
Someone says MFC/SM/CB has blocked their cc so they can't pay for shows that way, but wants to send you $$ thru paypal? They'll report your account for adult activities and do a chargeback. Or they're after your real name.

On my second day of camming a very nice gentleman actually DID buy me something huge off my wishlist, and he's been kind and supportive ever since. But for that one super awesome dude I've dealt with thousands of attempted scams.

 

[n_i_c_u]

Assume everyone is trying to scam you always.

I've kind of done this in real life too (last seven or eight years), and it works. It is nice learning that other people don't have your best interests in mind--also, being helpful and nice only helps them. Just say no when it feels even a little weird.

 

[AmberCutie]

I will give you the same advice I give all the girls who come to ACF with similar issues: STICK TO MFC UNTIL YOU KNOW THE ROPES INSIDE OUT.

What does "stick to MFC" mean? Don't do Skype, don't do social media, don't hand out your email, don't accept any payment other than tokens: no paypal, no gift cards, nothing at all. Your activity as a camgirl should be limited to whatever functions MFC has. Nothing more. If you want to make content stick to photo sets that you can host on your MFC profile. No activity outside the camsite.

Why? Because sticking to MFC you are 100% protected. A member will never be able to scam you if he has to pay in tokens on the site. In order to scam you he has to have contact with you in a space he can control and in which he can take advantage. MFC doesn't give a member room to wiggle. Tokens will always cost the member money, he cannot promise and not deliver, and private shows always have a cost. There is no way to get scammed by sticking to the site.

That is actually really fantastic, solid advice.

 

[Ambers Troll]

This would have been a good general cam topic. Scammers always take advantage of those willing to take a risk in the interest of chasing something better. This is not gambling, it is a calculated choice based on experience and the level of reward possible.

There are amazing and generous people out there, the OP's scammer could have been legit. The important thing is that when you take a risk that you are aware of what you are risking. Secondly if you get scammed, to learn from it for next time someone tries that on. Thirdly forgive yourself if you get scammed, it happens to all of us to some extent at some point.

For models the most common scam to watch for is cam equivalent of the fake casting agent scams where the model doesn't get paid and her content is stolen.
Another is the equivalent of the phony job offer scam, where the scammer is chasing personal identification of the model to be used later to exploit the model in some way.
Not a scam but another thing members commonly try is a type of grooming. This is where members encourage models to go beyond their set boundaries. Offer enough money, boundaries tend to be dropped, and once a boundary is dropped it tends to be lost for good.

For members the main scams are clip joints, a variation on the grandparent scam, and romance scams. Almost every long term member will have fallen to some extent for the clip joint scam. Clip joints offer content, but on entry they never deliver, on any complaints the victim is kicked out/ banned from the premises. The clip joint scam is the one hardest to avoid, when paying a model we must always be aware that we may get very little for what we spend. The model may give a range of excuses to get the member to spend again, promising that this is not a scam: You won't know until you try again.
Romance scams or other equivalent ones exploit the victims generosity and kind heart where the scammer uses themselves as the bait.
The variation on the grandparent scam places the model in trouble with only the member able to pay to get them out of it.

Some risk taking is a good thing, both models and members will look for the best deal. Personally as a member I always find that being a bit more generous gives me much better experiences, but it did take a long time to learn to say no and to develop the instinct for those trying to exploit me for that.
For models this is different, there is a level of security you must ensure for yourself before you can start taking more risk. Establishing this quickly is also critical as you want to give yourself the best opportunity to do well and time may be a factor in success.

 

[EmiliaSong]

I've been camming for two years, and I got scammed recently, so don't feel bad. There'a a learning curve. One thing that's helped me is creating a code of conduct and sticking to it. You don't have to use these exact rules, but I hope this gives you some ideas:

1) Always get the money before performing a service.
2) No off-site payment for Skype shows (I make two exceptions: Amazon cards for small products like $10 mini photosets and Snapchat access, and Giftrocket cards for longtime, reliable regulars, but I'd wait to offer anything like that for a while).
3) Gifts from my wishlist are gifts, not payment. Giftgivers get a few pics of me using/wearing the gift, and if it's something big, maybe a 10-15 minute private, but only after I've received the gift.
4) Never give out personal information including the region where I live. Always use a PO Box or a middle person to received Amazon gifts, never your personal address. I say send me a giftcard with the amount of the gift, and I'll buy whatever you want. Delivery Code is a nice alternative because it's guaranteed not to show your address, and it's specifically designed for cammodels.
5) Never reply to an offer until the person's identity and affiliation have been confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt. Ignore agency, studio, and site customization offers.
6) If you have to weigh the pros and cons of doing something you're not 100% comfy with, don't do it.
Most importantly: 7) Viewers get one warning or they're silenced/banned. This has saved me so time and energy!

For models the most common scam to watch for is cam equivalent of the fake casting agent scams where the model doesn't get paid and her content is stolen.
Another is the equivalent of the phony job offer scam, where the scammer is chasing personal identification of the model to be used later to exploit the model in some way.
Not a scam but another thing members commonly try is a type of grooming. This is where members encourage models to go beyond their set boundaries. Offer enough money, boundaries tend to be dropped, and once a boundary is dropped it tends to be lost for good.

I've never had to deal with a fake casting agent or someone threatening to blackmail me, so I wouldn't say those are the most common. The most common scams are "do X and I'll pay you after" followed by paying you with PayPal/Google wallet/giftcards for a private and then canceling the transaction. Yes, occasionally a member will try to groom you, but that's pretty rare.

I hope this helps!

 

[RebelleHart]

Yes, occasionally a member will try to groom you, but that's pretty rare.

I agree with everything but this last line. When I had my new tag on MFC, I was bombarded with members trying to groom me. They all had the "key to camgirl success" and all I had to do was listen to them and only them. Basically, I had a bunch of dudes trying to groom me into their perfect fantasy girl which of course was exhausting and not at all helpful to anyone but the member.

However, once I lost my new tag and developed an attitude of "my room, my rules" and starting treating camming like the business it is and not a hobby, the groomers disappeared. I think they can sense who is eager to please, naive, and easy to manipulate and they target that.

For me, a big thing in avoiding scams was remembering that I am in charge and trusting my gut feeling is more important than being polite to people who make me uncomfortable.

 

[Mila_]

I agree with everything but this last line. When I had my new tag on MFC, I was bombarded with members trying to groom me. They all had the "key to camgirl success" and all I had to do was listen to them and only them. Basically, I had a bunch of dudes trying to groom me into their perfect fantasy girl which of course was exhausting and not at all helpful to anyone but the member.

However, once I lost my new tag and developed an attitude of "my room, my rules" and starting treating camming like the business it is and not a hobby, the groomers disappeared. I think they can sense who is eager to please, naive, and easy to manipulate and they target that.

For me, a big thing in avoiding scams was remembering that I am in charge and trusting my gut feeling is more important than being polite to people who make me uncomfortable.

Groomers are also more prevalent in private based sites, or with obsessive members. Private show groomers will want you to do things you aren't comfortable with, while obsessives want to break your intimacy/privacy boundaries. Happens quite often.

 

[Ambers Troll]

I've never had to deal with a fake casting agent or someone threatening to blackmail me, so I wouldn't say those are the most common.

Sorry for the confusion, didn't want to detract from specific scams such as the Paypal charge-back. I was trying to offer the OP a more general overview of scammers, the approach often varies, but the scam usually remains the same.

Fake casting agent- adult productions is the common title for 1, possibly 2 and 3 on your list, the aim being to encourage a free show and to take the content. The mark actually thinks they are getting work, when they are simply getting used. Some fake casting scams offer payment but the reward is unfair, some offer payment but never do. I wanted to keep it general as there are a range of scams that amount to the same thing.

Blackmail is only one potential goal under the phony job offer scam, a more common one for a model is to find the model's identity for other personal interests. Using unsecured methods of payment, fake agencies and so on amount to the same scam. In the original scam a fake office is set up and personal information is taken during the interview.
I mentioned the clip joint scam (as a long term paying member, one I know very well) as one of the most common for members. This used to be real clubs, with watered down drinks, bouncers, and bad adult entertainment. A virtual clip joint no longer needs a bouncer when a ban button will suffice, but it is the same scam.

The OP actually fell for a combination of scams, some Art Student Scam, a strong basis in a Predatory Journal Scam, with the goal being one taking content &/or information. It was very well planned around a similar structure as a predatory journal, notice how the model perceived the scammer as an authority. She was paying (in content and perhaps with intent to gain personal information) to get 'published' by this authority in the hope of doing better with her work. Notice how the OP can not distinguish this person as scammer or legit even now, knowing takes knowledge she doesn't possess yet. Only someone familiar with profile creation could assess any offer appropriately.
Similar more simple scams to this one may include the model allowing herself to be directed in some way in the hope of gaining more traffic.
Scientists have the phrase; "There are no authorities in science, we have experts at best.", this means that authorities are often proven wrong in science. I suspect that the same is true of camming, you can not engineer yourself on a good model, but you can learn from her education, training and experience.