Exposed identity

[boycat]

I have a question about whether I should do anything about a model who likely was able to figure out my IRL name without asking me if it was OK. (I would not have been OK with it, and I would never ask for or try to get identifying info about any model because it would be wrong.)

Here's the story.

I was travelling and was alone in a hotel room, and I went online but the model I always go to wasn't online, so I tried someone new. She was great, and all we did was talk. I like to build some rapport and see if there is chemistry first before moving to anything else. The next night I saw her again, and because I am into photography I showed her some landscape photos along with some photos of stars in the night sky. But... stupid me... I was careless and showed some photos on my instagram feed by holding my phone up to the camera. She asked me to move my phone around and bring it closer to the camera, and I suddenly realized it was because she wanted not to see the photos, but to see information about me. Then she showed me my own Instagram feed on her phone and asked "is this you?" My immediate internal reaction was "oh shit" while my external reaction was to tell her that I was feeling really tired and I needed to sign off for the night. My fear was that she was signalling to me "now I have something on you so I can manipulate you if I want..." Of course there is no way for me to know.

I immediately shut down my Facebook account and turned up the security settings on my Instagram feed, but that was after she saw my instagram so she may now know my IRL name. She sent me a friend request in Instagram which I don't plan to respond to.

Have any of you heard of anything like this happening? Does this sound like a scam or anything you have heard of? Probably she is not planning on trying to harm me, but still I did not appreciate it.

I realize that what I did was not smart, so I am not asking for advice along the lines of "you should not have done that."

 

[Lintilla]

In my experience, many clients aren't at all protective about their personal details or accounts. Plenty of them have given me way too much IRL info intentionally. Not necessarily the wisest thing to do, but it happens often enough that I don't think much of it most of the time. I have plenty of contacts on my various social media accounts who are using what I assume is their real full name. Unless you have any particular reason to think that she would use your information against you, she probably just wanted you for a new follower on Instagram.

Personally, I wouldn't use any information that wasn't given to me directly, but maybe she figured that since you willingly held up your screen to make those details visible that you intended to share you account name? Because... you also haven't given the full context of this exchange--I cam mainly on Streamate, where models are not allowed to share contact info. Other sites are more or less strict, but in most cases I do like to associate a social media account with a user when I can so that I can contact them off-site (and maybe get them to join me on another site where I will make more than 30%). Users will often try to sneakily provide that account info, because they know it's grey area or completely disallowed. Could she have assumed something like that was happening? Your post history mentions that you use Jerkmake, which is a Streamate white-label.

 

[boycat]

In my experience, many clients aren't at all protective about their personal details or accounts. Plenty of them have given me way too much IRL info intentionally. Not necessarily the wisest thing to do, but it happens often enough that I don't think much of it most of the time. I have plenty of contacts on my various social media accounts who are using what I assume is their real full name. Unless you have any particular reason to think that she would use your information against you, she probably just wanted you for a new follower on Instagram.

Personally, I wouldn't use any information that wasn't given to me directly, but maybe she figured that since you willingly held up your screen to make those details visible that you intended to share you account name? Because... you also haven't given the full context of this exchange--I cam mainly on Streamate, where models are not allowed to share contact info. Other sites are more or less strict, but in most cases I do like to associate a social media account with a user when I can so that I can contact them off-site (and maybe get them to join me on another site where I will make more than 30%). Users will often try to sneakily provide that account info, because they know it's grey area or completely disallowed. Could she have assumed something like that was happening? Your post history mentions that you use Jerkmake, which is a Streamate white-label.

Interesting... on Jerkmate they do tell all people to not share personal info, and regarding the incident I just experienced, they asked me for the name of the model but I did not want to give it because I didn't think that her getting into trouble would help anything but might might might make my problem worse. So I have not provided her name. I should add (in case it matters) that she is in the Philippines. She might be motivated to find someone who will take care of her, but that is a guess

 

[NotYou]

To be honest, it's possible she just really found you interesting and liked your photography skills, and enjoyed looking at them.
Remember women usually just get asked to look at dick pics and similar constantly, so when they see someone talented with something like photography or other forms of art, it's really appealing and nice for them.

A lot of women are very highly educated and love all kinds of things and are fascinated by things, so I personally think it may just be something innocent, however that isn't to say you should try be careful - and in the future doing this too

 

[Nigerian Prince]

I would just ask her tbh. If she is trying to blackmail you or something then she already has your name, not much you can do at this point. If she isn't then she will probably let you know her intentions weren't anything malicious.

 

[Danigirl]

I mail panties and other care packages out so I get a lot of actual information. I do wish members would be more careful about their identities but personally, I would never use it against someone or do more with their identity than they wish such as saying their name during a tip etc. That being said, it's just smart to never give your real identity to anyone online. I used to do HR and manage/hire/fire about 50 people before camming. The amount I could find out with a name and especially an address is amazing.

More than likely, the model was just curious but took it way too far. She would have plenty of willing people give her their name if she wanted to blackmail. Just be more careful in the future because what's done is done.

 

[CheeseMoon]

Based on how you described this specific situation, I wouldn't worry too much. What information models try to gouge out of you and the reasons for it varies a lot, but everyone I've talked to have respected my wanting to remain anonymous. In 99% of the cases it's just polite smalltalk and maybe honest curiosity, as it is in any other setting where you bump into complete strangers. The last percent is of course that clever studio model who is grooming you for a con. They exist, and they go about it in such a way you won't always hear the klaxons going off or see the alert panel lighting up like a gaudy christmas tree.

That being said, give models some slack if you think they fucked up and went too far, then talk about it. if you don't tell people how you want it, you'll probably never get it.

 

[boycat]

In my experience, many clients aren't at all protective about their personal details or accounts. Plenty of them have given me way too much IRL info intentionally. Not necessarily the wisest thing to do, but it happens often enough that I don't think much of it most of the time. I have plenty of contacts on my various social media accounts who are using what I assume is their real full name. Unless you have any particular reason to think that she would use your information against you, she probably just wanted you for a new follower on Instagram.

Personally, I wouldn't use any information that wasn't given to me directly, but maybe she figured that since you willingly held up your screen to make those details visible that you intended to share you account name? Because... you also haven't given the full context of this exchange--I cam mainly on Streamate, where models are not allowed to share contact info. Other sites are more or less strict, but in most cases I do like to associate a social media account with a user when I can so that I can contact them off-site (and maybe get them to join me on another site where I will make more than 30%). Users will often try to sneakily provide that account info, because they know it's grey area or completely disallowed. Could she have assumed something like that was happening? Your post history mentions that you use Jerkmake, which is a Streamate white-label.

Lintilla I love your description of your expertise in Jerkmate: "Multiple giggly, leg-shaking Hitachi orgasms. Babbling about nerdy shit while simultaneously fucking myself silly. Occasionally not missing my ass with a paddle. My boobs are pretty great, you should check them out."

 

[boycat]

To everyone who replied to this, thanks very much. I feel much better about the whole situation, and it does look like she's just someone who is interested in what her clients do, no harm at all intended by it.

 

[yossarian]

Yeah, this doesn't send up a red flag for me at all. Only one model has my personal info, but it's somebody I've been talking to for years and she just sends me care packages because I subscribe to her Patreon and that's a feature. I don't give my info to most models, but models are just like anyone else--most of them aren't trying to do anything shady. I agree she probably just wanted to add you to Instagram and maintain a rapport with you, not steal your identity. You're smart to be careful, but I don't think you need to panic about this.

 

[SaffronBurke]

In my experience, many clients aren't at all protective about their personal details or accounts.

I have been very surprised by the number of guys who email me custom video requests from their realname@employer.com email addresses. Makes me concerned about where else they're so casual about their information privacy.

 

[DoD404]

I agree she probably just wanted to add you to Instagram

I agree with this, yes.
Also, feel free to create a new IG account just for this kind of relation, it's really easy and (almost) ok for your privacy

 

[CheeseMoon]

I have been very surprised by the number of guys who email me custom video requests from their realname@employer.com email addresses. Makes me concerned about where else they're so casual about their information privacy.

In the majority of European countries this isn't so much a question about privacy since the employer can't legally peek inside an employee's mail account without jumping through a lot of hoops, but using your work email for things like this is an embarrassing security nightmare waiting to happen. If you work in the "wrong" place, you potentially set yourself up for extortion and whatnot if you use work email to communicate with SWs. Think Jerry Falwell jr. Noboby wants to be him atm.

I know about the lack of (real) privacy legislation in the US though, which only make matters worse for this scenario.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

If someone showed me their instagram on camera I would assume they were OK with me knowing it and maybe request to follow it for sure! Usually when someone shows me social media they're signalling for a follow back LOL. So she's probably just trying to build that connection that a lot of guys do seem to want.

If this happened between me and a member and the member was uncomfortable I'd just want them to tell me straight and I'd back off..

 

[DFT]

Of all my regrets in life not a one is that a lovely woman might call the media to say I once saw her without her knickers on.

If this does happen I'll just claim to be a lost Kennedy cousin and end up governor somewhere.

 

[Nigerian Prince]

I have been very surprised by the number of guys who email me custom video requests from their realname@employer.com email addresses. Makes me concerned about where else they're so casual about their information privacy.

I've had someone email me from their wife's old email which had her name in it...

 

[a_smut_peddler]

As a model on stripchat I may have given a guy a mini-heart attack as well. He won a contest in my room that led to me mailing him something. It turns out the address is a work address and he would rather it get sent there than at home (understandable). I gently let him know that his address was a dead giveaway of a lot of personal information and that he should be more careful in the future with other models just in case they have ill intentions. I would not use any personal information in a bad way (blackmail etc) but I am a curious person and I do like to know more about my regulars and get to know them in more than a sexual way.

 

[Fatquack]

I keep exposing myself to models hoping they will show up with flowers and chocolates on my doorstep. So far no luck, except for unexpected packages and cards. I told one of them she is the worst stalker ever.
I'm not worried about blackmail, everyone knows I am a pervert anyway.