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Daily Thoughts

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I can't get out of my own fucking way...
 
My alarm went off... I, apparently, turned it off quite quickly and continued to sleep. An hour later I awoke and thought "get up or readjust for more sleep?" and was about to readjust when I realized it was Monday which means work. :-(
 
Jason314 said:
This will be the 667th post in this thread. This must be a popular topic.
ya but it is all random :D
 
Heh of all the forums I've been on this is always one of the last threads to die :p

That and people can read and post here days they don't have time for anything else. It works out awesome :D


Today I think that where I live might have a rainy season. I'm happy for that.
 
I love how random this thread is, and also love that so many of you post in it daily, and enjoy it so much.
 
I've been thinking a lot today about what makes me an evil person, which I claim to be often.


And what comes to mind are not helpful things I've done nor the acknowledgment of them, but all thanks I have gotten.

It seams that when a truly good person helps someone they get a feeling of humanly love in return.

I just get emotionally drained because I connect so much to them with other emotions.


And I guess that maybe I'm not evil anymore. I just can't give people love when they need it because I always find other ways to help them. Is it a workaround love or do I just have the wrong method? But I prefer it this way. I just want to know why it is, or if other "good" people aren't good the way I see it.


I think... I just wish I was nothing but passive aggressive. But only towards other bad people.


I dunno. I think having a good and safe life is just so forien to me that it effects me so much when there are only good people left. I think that... it's better this way. I like it like this and it's so much better for my health in multiple ways.

It's not me to be safe.

It's funny. I think about all of this semi-frequently and I still haven't figured out how it's all related. I thought that if I wrote this out I could see something, but I can't.


...and I think this is the most personal post I've done in a very long time, and I think I'm going to share it.


I can share myself with you guys on this level :h:
 
well alex, i had to reread what you wrote a few times before i got its full meaning, and i do understand what you are saying more than you can ever know... I dont want to steal away from your post, but it seems a personal experience/feeling type thing is the only way i can fully and accuratly express to you...

me, i am a very emotional person, i give out to my room with all of my body soul and heart and earn less because I want them all to be happy... i give out to my husband and child, and almost anyone i consider a friend to the point at times that i have gotten myself into a few fixes... i dont feel good or loved if i dont feel emotionally connected... this simple fact hurts my camming as i am an extremist and cannot seem to be able to find that middle

on the other hand, my husband is a nurse.... and lpn in long term care leaves at 5;15 pm and he wont be home until nearly 7 am the next morning he has long 12 hour shifts which end up being longer... he often has people take so much from him at work that when he is at home he doesnt always have anything left to give out....


i say all of this because i admire you for beiing able to admit that you arent capable of things and have found other ways to do things... I dont think you are evil at all but infact so intuned with people that even if you arent capable of something you still are able to help... to me this says you have found that middle and will one day rebuild yourself enough to love deeply

me if i have even one doubt in my head that someone is unhappy or unsatisfied in anyway that i run myself to the point i am incapable of doing anything for a while....

you know your weakness and have learned how to deal... that there alone makes you such a wonderful person that i hope i can call you a friend
 
Hacker films are awesome. Watch some.
 
Did they remove the humour section from the bookstore? I was wandering around like a fool today and saw stuff about cooking, science fiction, non-fiction, fantasy, self-help, religion, children's, but no humour. If this is a joke, it's not funny. Oh well, there's always online ordering from your competitors, bookstore.
 
Grr wish I had like 2 more hrs to lay in bed today. I love puppy pile snuggle time..

Ok stop laughing. I am sentimental and cuddling is awesome
 
Keithy said:
Ambah, 9x-7i > 3(3x-7u) solve for i.

W00T! That's an awesome on Keithy!

Math rocks!
 
I refuse to slip off the top 20 after working so hard this month...Fuck that noise! I WILL get on today and I WILL do well.

Keithy said:
Ambah, 9x-7i > 3(3x-7u) solve for i.

Thank goodness for google. If anyone thinks I have the capacity to even begin to solve this, thank you for that, I am flattered.

You're cute, Keithy. :h: