This will surely start a fire

[AudriTwo]

Therapy, yes. Abnormal? I dunno. Is this not regular toxic masculinity culture at it's finest? Be a stud, don't be pussy whipped, be in control, yada yada yada?

It's sad, and unhealthy, and I see it every damned day.

toxic masculinity culture? what? no this isn't normal, because normal men don't act like this. there are women who have the same behavioral obsessions like op.

don't slap generic generalizations based on gender. that's crap.

 

[Deleted member 35180]

toxic masculinity culture? what? no this isn't normal, because normal men don't act like this. there are women who have the same behavioral obsessions like op.

don't slap generic generalizations based on gender. that's crap.

tou·ché

But i'd say healthy people don't act like this, not normal ones. I don't even know what the fuck normal is.

 

[Deleted member 35180]

Writing this off as "toxic masculinity" downplays the issue. I am all for rah rah cultural shifting, but no, there's some serious pathology there that needs to be addressed.

I take serious issue with that sort of tumblrized line of thinking.

I really wasn't trying to write it off, just mentioned that I see this a lot and I don't find it that abnormal, or uncommon, but surely unhealthy. I guess mentioning gender was a bad call.

 

[Finley]

lol shitposting. I don't need to post to feel good, but...good one?

 

[AudriTwo]

tou·ché

But i'd say healthy people don't act like this, not normal ones. I don't even know what the fuck normal is.

i think we can all agree how op is going about this isn't healthy. his unhealthy thinking patterns are typically not normal human reactions. that's what i was getting at.

sometimes normal people can get a chemical imbalance in their brain which makes them go batshit insane *personal experience*

 

[heybarkeep]

lol shitposting. I don't need to post to feel good

lol huh? Didn't say you did.

but...good one?

No jokes were made but...thanks?

 

[Deleted member 35180]

i think we can all agree how op is going about this isn't healthy. his unhealthy thinking patterns are typically not normal human reactions. that's what i was getting at.

sometimes normal people can get a chemical imbalance in their brain which makes them go batshit insane *personal experience*

I'd still replace the word normal with healthy. I think calling his behaviour abnormal overlooks the fact that so many people think this way, and based on the things he's glorified about himself I think culture is playing a role here.

I really take offence to that being seen as a tumblrized way of thinking. I didn't even know what that term was and after having looked it up I can surely say I meant to show some compassion towards OP for doing something that I don't see as that uncommon. No mysandric intentions, trust me.

 

[Vera]

@Avril I called it a tumblrized way of thinking because slapping the label "toxic masculinity" on something, or blaming something entirely on gender or race, is a reductive behavior often seen on that website. This is not an attack on you, just an explanation of why I used that phrase. I have my own views about third wave feminism that are out of the scope of the thread, but I do believe some of the things that have arisen from it are damaging to critical thinking. I did not say you were mysandristic, I thought the reasoning was reductive.

I think the normal/abnormal healthy/unhealthy thing is semantics. Culture does play a role, sure, but there is more going on.

Can we nominate this thread for ACF Trainwreck of the Week yet? Haha. (No ill will in that statement, btw.)

 

[AudriTwo]

I'd still replace the word normal with healthy. I think calling his behaviour abnormal overlooks the fact that so many people think this way, and based on the things he's glorified about himself I think culture is playing a role here.

if you think OP's behavior is normal because "so many people act this way," you should probably find a new peer group. people do not normally act this way. you are making blanket assumptions. you dont even know his culture. yes your culture does shape your behavior, but you don't have to be a product of your environment.

OP should really speak to a therapist to learn better coping mechanisms on his obsessions and work on his insecurities.

 

[Finley]

lol huh? Didn't say you did.



No jokes were made but...thanks?

You make 0 sense.

"A bit too aggressive and transparent with the shitposting imo but hopefully it somehow makes you feel better about yourself."

That's what you said, and that is what I responded to

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I think the normal/abnormal healthy/unhealthy thing is semantics. Culture does play a role, sure, but there is more going on.

Semantics. Amen.

I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to you ladies (and the occasional shitposter) bat this around, and I can see elements of truth in it all (except for the shitposters drivel).

You know, I caught her messin' around with another man...



I thought I was her daddy, but she had five more...




That shit alone can make you crazy. People have known this for a long time. I'm not saying the other issues don't play into it.
Sounds to me like she really got to him, and to some degree, she's still got his number...

No, I mean I get it I tend to overanalyze things, but only when it comes to her. Because of all of the manipulative shit she has done in the year+ of me knowing her.

I remember the thread he posted last year sometime. That one struck me as considerably more disturbing. This one, not so much. Once he works his way through this, he will probly either cringe or laugh at it.

 

[Deleted member 35180]

if you think OP's behavior is normal because "so many people act this way," you should probably find a new peer group. people do not normally act this way. you are making blanket assumptions. you dont even know his culture. yes your culture does shape your behavior, but you don't have to be a product of your environment.

OP should really speak to a therapist to learn better coping mechanisms on his obsessions and work on his insecurities.

Haha, I was going to mention that there's a strong possibility that my peer group is shaping my views here. I'm working on branching out to healthier people.

OP told me where he is from, so I think I have some grasp on his culture but yeah, he should definitely seek therapy to deal with this behaviour regardless of where it stemmed from.

 

[subgavin]

Nothing to add to the numerous excellent responses with respect to the substance. But, and I ask out of genuine curiosity, what was it that made you preface your opening post with "this will surely start a fire"? Because, behind that, it seems to me there has to be some sort of lurking self-awareness of just how badly the OP was going to reflect on you, right?

 

[IsabellaSnow]

In the beginning, this was just a simple advice thread about how to show you're interested in someone but not desperate. Then down the rabbit hole we went.

Whaaaat??? Was it??? I was confused about what it was supposed to be about, and I certainly wouldn't have guessed this plot twist!

So wait... You were trying to show people how to NOT appear desperate? Nope. No, I did not get that one at all. Did anyone else get this?

 

[heybarkeep]

You make 0 sense.

"A bit too aggressive and transparent with the shitposting imo but hopefully it somehow makes you feel better about yourself."

That's what you said, and that is what I responded to

I'm very sorry but it is you that is failing to form any semblance of a coherent thought here. I will do my best to explain it to you. I said that I hope your shitposting makes you feel better about yourself. I never said that you need to shitpost to feel good. Again, I said I hope your shitposting makes you feel better about yourself. Both of your responses have made zero sense and I can only hope you choose to stop embarrassing yourself.

 

[heybarkeep]

Any specific reason for the facepalm, @SaffronBurke and @EspiKvlt ? Or am I left to assume it's simply because I chose to be honest with a poster that has the camgirl stripe?

 

[EspiKvlt]

Sorry too busy laughing at @justjoinedtopost's trolling.

 

[EspiKvlt]

Now I am laughing at you rating my post a troll post despite me literally just stating a fact about what I was doing.

K.

It's really weird that you got so upset about a facepalm rating and then proceeded to do that.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Any specific reason for the facepalm, @SaffronBurke and @EspiKvlt ? Or am I left to assume it's simply because I chose to be honest with a poster that has the camgirl stripe?

More like your determination to argue irrelevant bullshit, but tell yourself whatever you want to believe.

 

[heybarkeep]

More like your determination to argue irrelevant bullshit, but tell yourself whatever you want to believe.

Was trying to explain myself to a very confused poster but tell yourself whatever you need to. Doesn't change how embarrassing some of you can be unfortunately.

 

[heybarkeep]

It's really weird that you got so upset about a facepalm rating and then proceeded to do that.

Zero anger, I honestly find nothing but humor from the post ratings and the way people use them.

 

[AudriTwo]

 

[AmberCutie]

View attachment 69335

Agreed!

/lock