This will surely start a fire

[Gen]

I'm always so confused and weirded out when members go on about ~games~ and ~winning~ and whatever.

You've already lost by the amount of time and obsession you've put into interactions that I guarantee the models never think of again. Your conversation sounded like run-of-the-mill banter like any girl has with any member; I think you're overthinking it massively and the way you write about it is really self-indulgent and bizarre. I'm sure she thought very little of the encounter.

More importantly, she can sleep with any old dude she wants but if she had wanted to fuck you, she would have, so the whining that other guys are getting something you aren't is not only entitled in a creepy way but, imo, crossing the line. Can't believe this needs to be said to an adult but fucking someone else (for fun or money or both) doesn't mean she has to fuck you??

Also, for the love of God, what happened to just jerking off?!

 

[LittleLei]

Hey I have an idea. Invest in a hobby you don't have to play mind games with.

Shit, might as well pay everyone who responded for making this ACF hot thread of the day.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

The bottom line is you don't really know her.

This. This is what YOU need to understand.

Also, if someone doesn't explicitly state that they are a full service sex worker, then they aren't, as far as you are concerned. If they don't want to offer that service to you, they don't have to. If they do, what they charge someone else vs. what they charge you is up to them. You still seem to think that if you throw enough money at her and project the right image that she will suddenly want to have sex with you. But she clearly doesn't. Or else she would.

 

[heybarkeep]

Internet drama is so boring. Hit up the bar, friend. Endless supply of young twenty somethings eager to provide you with all the drama and games you could ask for, free of charge. Also, while not endless or free, they probably have a decent supply of whiskey as well.

 

[AudriTwo]

I would add that Arthur video about "Why do people lie on the internet?", but it's not really relevant in this case.

I AM OUTRAGED!!!11!! Arthur is always relevant.

 

[Phoenix4987]

This. This is what YOU need to understand.

Also, if someone doesn't explicitly state that they are a full service sex worker, then they aren't, as far as you are concerned. If they don't want to offer that service to you, they don't have to. If they do, what they charge someone else vs. what they charge you is up to them. You still seem to think that if you throw enough money at her and project the right image that she will suddenly want to have sex with you. But she clearly doesn't. Or else she would.

I half agree with you here. I think projecting the right image would make those services available. Obviously, it will take more than just money because if it was about only that, I would have fucked her already.

You think an escort wants to give those services to some guy who's dropping Love bombs on her? Probably not.
The guy who's in her room every night, stressing her out to the point she's screaming FUCK YOU on cam? Definitely not.
The rich old man who's talking her ear off for 6-8 hours some nights and boosting the fuck out of her camscore? I would think not.

I don't know if it's wishful thinking or rational thinking, but I think projecting an attitude that isn't needy (in the case of constant texting) boundary crossing (in the case of asking way too much personal questions) or clingy (the over the top compliments / love bombing) isn't someone you open up that avenue for.

In December, I was still that guy who was in the fantasy-land friend zone. Always texted her to ask how her day was. Would sometimes push issues that weren't any of my business. And other not-so-attractive traits.

My behavior changed isn't one I geared specifically to try and get her in the sack. But one that made me see if I act this way towards a woman, that it isn't manly for one. And definitely doesn't build attraction. I do have a social life, go out on the weekends with friends, have interest in girls here. But that doesn't really negate anything else I've discussed.

The main take away is that all this overthinking is very unnatural and unhealthy and as long as I keep this kind of compulsion of, no matter how much I want to change my image in the eyes of someone, the underlying mental gymnastics will make themselves show up one way or another.

There have been a lot of useful posts and have given me some new perspectives to think on. But, I don't know if the rationale in all of it will overcome what I believe.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I'm still confused... Are you saying that you are trying to make yourself an easier person to be around? There is rarely any harm in trying to better yourself and realising you may have not been acting pleasant and trying to rectify your behaviour. Though something about the way you say it sounds more snakey than genuinely wishing to not cause problems. As though you're just pretending to be nice and friendly for the purpose of getting what you want and gaining control. Meh, I don't think I'll understand it so think I'll walk away now.

 

[Phoenix4987]

Easier to be around. But not buying into the little fantasies she sells. Not the romance novellas that some fall prey to, or the lifelong friend shit. Just a normal guy. If that happens to lead to another visit and things happen then great.

But everything really has been a learning experience.

 

[JoleneBrody]

She's a camgirl, not a super villain.

 

[Phoenix4987]

She's a FSSW who also cams and loves to manipulate men, not a super villain.

Fixed it for ya

 

[Shutterbuck]

all this overthinking is very unnatural and unhealthy

This. Is. The. Only. Sensible thing you have said.

 

[AmberCutie]

Not sure if bug, or feature.

Probably a feature, cuz ain't nobody wanna see no double spaces.

 

[Phoenix4987]

This. Is. The. Only. Sensible thing you have said.

Must have been the only thing you read

 

[JoleneBrody]

Fixed it for ya

Yet she's still not taking advantage of the easy opportunity to make money from you with her business...
There is not a labyrinth to get to an escort, you don't have to answer any riddles or fight any large sex worker protecting magical beasts. You just hire them and if they aren't letting you hire them that's because they (rightfully so, Jesus just look at your threads) don't feel safe with you.

 

[WickedTouch]

OP... Hardly any of what you are saying here seems genuine and believable. All this plotting and manoeuvring that you are carrying out indicates to the casual observer that you appear to be a controlling individual, who enjoys the manipulation of others in order to gain what he seeks. This is a disturbing character trait and most certainly NOT the mark of a "gentleman" nor anyone who possesses any class whatsoever.

You are over analysing your "relationship" with this woman and for no good reason except to find ways to "score" against her! Now that's just asinine behaviour right there. Continually dissecting this situation across numerous recent threads, weaving together your "long game" as you put it, is unhealthy, somewhat troubling and well… just plain creepy. So… are you desperate? Immature? Pathological? A Sociopath? An obsessed stalker perhaps? You are ticking many of the boxes by yourself dude... just sayin'.

I wouldn't say the creation of this thread was the work of a "normal" guy by a long shot. If this is indeed the revised 2.0 version of your personality, then it still needs a helluva lot of work!

 

[justjoinedtopost]

testing. testing.
testing. testing.

Probably a feature, cuz ain't nobody wanna see no double spaces.

I have to disagree. Just tried it with 3, then 4 spaces.

Now I can think of any number of situations where someone might want to insert a large number of spaces after period, yet the software does not appear to allow that. Obviously an oversight by the programmers.

Either that, or we have finally been completely stripped of all our liberties. Assuming, of course, that free will isn't a complete illusion to begin with.

 

[AudriTwo]

You should go talk to a therapist about this because this is all sorts of insane. This is not normal human behavior.

 

[Phoenix4987]

In the beginning, this was just a simple advice thread about how to show you're interested in someone but not desperate. Then down the rabbit hole we went.

It's interesting the few I've managed to talk to at length in private don't see me in all these negative lights. As with any relationship, people have questions, people have curiosities, people analyze things. Go to google and you can find thousands of websites of people who analyze their relationships and ask questions. What I did here was not really any different.

The only thing different is that there is a pre-conceived notion that I'm ACF's resident crazy and any thread I post is just another deep sigh and facepalm. The image long ago branded, time-stamped, and laid to rest. Any bit of me trying to explain my case is just waived aside as crazy ramblings. No camgirl would ever think the way I described and ACF's models should know better, because they are models and they don't act like that. So this guy is just obviously insane because this whole community is full of wonderful, honest models and we can't possibly fathom why would anyone act like that.

So, alright. I hear you.

 

[Shutterbuck]

In the beginning, this was just a simple advice thread about how to show you're interested in someone but not desperate. Then down the rabbit hole we went.

No it wasn't. "This will surely start a fire" indicates that you're expecting backlash. Those looking for something to get upset about will always find it. And you have.

Any bit of me trying to explain my case is just waived aside as crazy ramblings.

There's a pretty broad stripe between explaining your case and trying to rationalize or justify your behavior.

So, alright. I hear you.

Is this, along with the removal of your avatar, your way of taking your toys and leaving? Are you pouting? I don't understand.
The internet probably often disagrees with me. And that's okay. You have received plenty of constructive insight to your situation. You've also received some probably-less-than constructive criticism as well. Your duty to yourself as a well adjusted person is to filter through all of it and take something away that will improve you as a person... not just cherry-pick it for something that might help you feel better about your less than stellar approach to online relationships and rationalize your manipulative behavior.

 

[Gen]

To be honest, I don't really remember your first thread. You aren't branded the town crazy in my books but THIS THREAD IS CRAZY. Straight up. What you're saying in here is unhealthy, obsessive, and unsettling. This isn't a ~models know best~ thing, it's guys and girls saying this is a really big red flag that things are off the rails and you need to get yourself together.

I hope for your sake, and her sake, that you recognize the collective response isn't because of pre-conceived notions but because the behaviour and thoughts you're describing are really maladaptive and not healthy.

 

[Finley]

If you ever for one second wonder why you are single, just re-read this thread OP

 

[Phoenix4987]

No, I mean I get it I tend to overanalyze things, but only when it comes to her. Because of all of the manipulative shit she has done in the year+ of me knowing her. So in a way, it's a bit of a defense to not let myself be fooled again, so I try and read her a bit when I suspect she's doing it. Not be manipulated or controlled like that again. My only actions now was to try and just be a stronger person, resistant to all of that bullshit.

I can't put the blame all on her because I was gullible and fucking stupid, but like someone mentioned already I should have walked away then.

With other models I interact with, there isn't all this mindfucking going on. It's just the usual shit you would get from any member. I don't act like "omg you're sexy bb." I'll enter the room, say hello, see what conversation is going on, look at profiles, tip menus, etc. And I engage in a healthy way that usually ends with me getting a pvt and that's that. No analyzing, just simple clean fun.

So, without going into all the details, I would say it's partly her fault that I'm this critical of a lot of our interactions. Not any other models, just her in particular. But it's also my fault for sticking around.

 

[Luckyfoxxy]

Seems to me like you are obssessing too much. You should walk away from this infatuation. You will realize how crazy you were acting when you will step away from it a bit.

 

[yummybrownfox]

*Sigh* Why do some members make the camming thang more complicated than it has to be? Good goobily goop! If I wanted the mind games, I'd start dating guys again.

"Whatever happened to just jerking off?"

Yes, good question.

 

[EspiKvlt]

"I've been branded the town crazy so no one is listening to me"

I barely knew who you were before yesterday, so no, it really is just this thread.

 

[Vera]

@Phoenix4987 I really do feel for you, as a chronic overanalyzer and as someone who can come off as abrasive (okay, who *is* abrasive.) The best thing you could do, though, is to let it go. Forget her, dude. It's toxic and you are just digging yourself into an emotional pit. Throw yourself into a new book, start a workout regimen. Read some Dr. Nerdlove. (He's an awesome relationship columnist, highly recommend him.)

You just need to step back a bit. You aren't the town crazy, you have a blind spot. You really need to address it, however, because it seems you have some hangups about interpersonal behaviors and that is only going to leak over into meatspace life and make you miserable. You have to get to the root of this insecurity. Not just in this circumstance, in general. Otherwise you are going to be miserable and isolated and your relationships IRL are always going to have a tinge of distrust. People try to control things and hyperfocus on things when they are trying to avoid a reality. It's a bad coping mechanism.

I hope you take what I am saying to heart, here. It comes from a good place. Find a good therapist, or at least start doing some soul searching because this is no way to live your life. You can say this is all about this one chick, but it's not. There's something else going on here which you must address if you want to be a functional, happy person because your behavior isn't normal.

Again, this doesn't mean you are a bad person, it means you have work you need to do if you ever want to grow into a full fledged human bean.

 

[AudriTwo]

Anyone else getting the vibe?

 

[Deleted member 35180]

You should go talk to a therapist about this because this is all sorts of insane. This is not normal human behavior.

Therapy, yes. Abnormal? I dunno. Is this not regular toxic masculinity culture at it's finest? Be a stud, don't be pussy whipped, be in control, yada yada yada?

It's sad, and unhealthy, and I see it every damned day.

 

[heybarkeep]

If you ever for one second wonder why you are single, just re-read this thread OP

A bit too aggressive and transparent with the shitposting imo but hopefully it somehow makes you feel better about yourself.

 

[Vera]

Writing this off as "toxic masculinity" downplays the issue. I am all for rah rah cultural shifting, but no, there's some serious pathology there that needs to be addressed.

I take serious issue with that sort of tumblrized line of thinking.