Question for members about a group show...

[MarieElise]

So I did a 7 minute goldshow on SM tonight for a 6 gold buy in. That's roughly 6 US dollars, of which I get 35% of the 6 from every member who tips the minimum for the show. I basically only offer gold shows because some members can't afford my per minute rates, and I still want to have an affordable option for everyone's budget.

And also to just appreciate clip buyers, who have maybe supported me for a long time by buying individual clips, and don't have the money for real time shows at my rates. Anyways...

I described the show as this; "oiled tits, sloppy BJ on big toy, and titty fucking... taped and sent to you later too".

Once the show started I also included jerk off encouragement. Not super complicated, just very, very basic. Anyway one of the guys who bought in and paid the very minimum, immediately types into the public chat "I didn't know this show would have JOI." and left. Probably 90 seconds in, and right before I was going to be done w the encouragement anyway, so kind of jumping the gun imo. Whereas another guy who was dropping liberal 5 gold tips, every 30 seconds or so, on top of the minimum, was strongly encouraging JOI talk, (on invisible).

My question is, is it super mean of me to block guy 1? I know I have the right to block anyone for any reason. And I feel like from his perspective he may just not be a very socially astute individual. However from my perspective I felt like he could have messaged me about it privately later, or left quietly. Without feeling the need to try and throw off the rest of the show, or talk rudely to me. So I interpreted him as very thoughtless and rude, and potentially as someone I don't necessarily want throwing off future shows. From my perspective he also was one of the very few people who tipped the absolute minimum, so I usually kind of get rid of high maintenance, minimum payers like that. However I also know from experience some people will take a block way too seriously and to heart, and go insane over it. So I'm not sure what's fair here? Opinions from Members please?

Also Sidenote; one of the reasons I've built my hourly up to be higher is due to blocking high maintenance, low payers. When I used to humor them I made literally 1/4 what I make per hour now. But I also don't want to be ungrateful, or to come across mean. On the other hand I've also had guys super mad at me and making legnthy forum posts on fetish forums, because I have blocked them for thoughtless stuff like this before, and/ or time wasting while tipping 0 or extremely low. Sorry for the novel. Trying to find a balance between humoring people, but also meeting my own needs, and encouraging respectful etiquette.

 

[Smoothie]

I don’t think you were “super mean” to block the member. From what you explained above, you have very solid logic and personal experience to justify the decision.

I didn’t get the impression that you were just acting solely out of anger (although you’d be within your rights to do that).

However, I do wonder if the member is the sort of guy who just doesn’t communicate with much finesse. The type that just blurts out what’s on his mind even if it’s rude to do so. Based on the quote you provided, and him leaving quickly after making that comment, I could see if he was just like “this wasn’t what I expected” and decided to cut it short (but didn’t have the social grace to avoid posting about it first, if that makes sense?).

It’s hard to say without having witnessed it. But I don’t think it was mean to block him if it threw off the vibe of your show.

 

[MarieElise]

However, I do wonder if the member is the sort of guy who just doesn’t communicate with much finesse. The type that just blurts out what’s on his mind even if it’s rude to do so. Based on the quote you provided, and him leaving quickly after making that comment, I could see if he was just like “this wasn’t what I expected” and decided to cut it short (but didn’t have the social grace to avoid posting about it first, if that makes sense?).

Yes, this is my fear. It was late in the day, and maybe I was expecting a little too much.

 

[Smoothie]

Yes, this is my fear. It was late in the day, and maybe I was expecting a little too much.

It’s also very possible that he was deliberately being a jerk, so I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.

At the end of the day, if the member caused negativity in your room, it doesn’t matter much if it was on purpose or accidental. The end result was the same.

 

[Ozzie_]

So I did a 7 minute goldshow on SM tonight for a 6 gold buy in. That's roughly 6 US dollars, of which I get 35% of the 6 from every member who tips the minimum for the show. I basically only offer gold shows because some members can't afford my per minute rates, and I still want to have an affordable option for everyone's budget.

And also to just appreciate clip buyers, who have maybe supported me for a long time by buying individual clips, and don't have the money for real time shows at my rates. Anyways...

I described the show as this; "oiled tits, sloppy BJ on big toy, and titty fucking... taped and sent to you later too".

Once the show started I also included jerk off encouragement. Not super complicated, just very, very basic. Anyway one of the guys who bought in and paid the very minimum, immediately types into the public chat "I didn't know this show would have JOI." and left. Probably 90 seconds in, and right before I was going to be done w the encouragement anyway, so kind of jumping the gun imo. Whereas another guy who was dropping liberal 5 gold tips, every 30 seconds or so, on top of the minimum, was strongly encouraging JOI talk, (on invisible).

My question is, is it super mean of me to block guy 1? I know I have the right to block anyone for any reason. And I feel like from his perspective he may just not be a very socially astute individual. However from my perspective I felt like he could have messaged me about it privately later, or left quietly. Without feeling the need to try and throw off the rest of the show, or talk rudely to me. So I interpreted him as very thoughtless and rude, and potentially as someone I don't necessarily want throwing off future shows. From my perspective he also was one of the very few people who tipped the absolute minimum, so I usually kind of get rid of high maintenance, minimum payers like that. However I also know from experience some people will take a block way too seriously and to heart, and go insane over it. So I'm not sure what's fair here? Opinions from Members please?

Also Sidenote; one of the reasons I've built my hourly up to be higher is due to blocking high maintenance, low payers. When I used to humor them I made literally 1/4 what I make per hour now. But I also don't want to be ungrateful, or to come across mean. On the other hand I've also had guys super mad at me and making legnthy forum posts on fetish forums, because I have blocked them for thoughtless stuff like this before, and/ or time wasting while tipping 0 or extremely low. Sorry for the novel. Trying to find a balance between humoring people, but also meeting my own needs, and encouraging respectful etiquette.

I don't think you were mean as such. (I do not actually think meanness is a part of your makeup, although I guess we all have our off days, me included ) However, I guess the user may well feel that you were mean / unjustified.

But..... he really did behave like an idiot. He didn't pay a huge amount to be in the show, so if the show took a turn that he didn't like, the polite and adult thing to do is just leave. No need for him to announce it and flounce off in a huff (there is a Groucho Marx in line there somewhere but I will not digress ).

Such things should be discussed (if they need to be discussed at all) in private.

 

[MarieElise]

But..... he really did behave like an idiot. He didn't pay a huge amount to be in the show, so if the show took a turn that he didn't like, the polite and adult thing to do is just leave. No need for him to announce it and flounce off in a huff (there is a Groucho Marx in line there somewhere but I will not digress ).

I was so worried about it I asked one of the other guys in the show, and he said there was hardly any JOI, and people need to learn to have patience and not be so focused on instant gratification. He said that in his view as long as I did the things which I listed I would (I did) he doesn't see why anyone would be mad.

I've been in really hot weather recently, and I think the heat is frying my brain. Normally I don't think such an event would worry me such. I think I'm just gonna block him, not out of mean-spiritedness, more out of the fact I always talk a lot in my shows, and I don't want to have to walk on eggshells and watch my every word when he's around. I'd rather just relax and have fun, and have him move on to another model whose style he likes better. You can't win 'em all, and honestly, you wouldn't want to anyways

 

[Ozzie_]

I was so worried about it I asked one of the other guys in the show, and he said there was hardly any JOI, and people need to learn to have patience and not be so focused on instant gratification. He said that in his view as long as I did the things which I listed I would (I did) he doesn't see why anyone would be mad.

I've been in really hot weather recently, and I think the heat is frying my brain. Normally I don't think such an event would worry me such. I think I'm just gonna block him, not out of mean-spiritedness, more out of the fact I always talk a lot in my shows, and I don't want to have to walk on eggshells and watch my every word when he's around. I'd rather just relax and have fun, and have him move on to another model whose style he likes better. You can't win 'em all, and honestly, you wouldn't want to anyways

Yeah, don't sweat it (oops sorry! )

You seem cool (oops, there I go again! )

I hope this doesn't get a frosty reception

OK..ok .. I am going.

 

[MarieElise]

Yeah, don't sweat it (oops sorry! )

You seem cool (oops, there I go again! )

I hope this doesn't get a frosty reception

OK..ok .. I am going.

Newest members of MarieElise's Block List; @Ozzie_ & @ArcticKitty Reason; Trolling.

(Totally kidding )

 

[Ozzie_]

Newest members of MarieElise's Block List; @Ozzie_ & @ArcticKitty Reason; Trolling.

(Totally kidding )

A club membership I will happily accept

 

[ArcticKitty]

 

[ArcticKitty]

The way I see it first and foremost is that if you're strongly thinking of blocking him, there's reason for it even if it's intuitive and blocking is probably the way to go.

And wth, you're providing a group show and being nice about providing affordable entertainment that everyone can enjoy. Someone who is rude won't be missed by anyone, especially you, eh?

 

[MarieElise]

The way I see it first and foremost is that if you're strongly thinking of blocking him, there's reason for it even if it's intuitive and blocking is probably the way to go.

And wth, you're providing a group show and being nice about providing affordable entertainment that everyone can enjoy. Someone who is rude won't be missed by anyone, especially you, eh?

Yeah exactly. I just worry about other people, like I know nothing about him. Maybe he was having a Hellish day and it was his last $6, and then me blocking him might make him cry. Like the adult version of Oliver Twist, but instead of gruel, it's porn. I was just imagining him shivering alone in the corner, with only his boner for company. Yes... my imagination is completely out of control.

But you know what I mean, the world and economy are tough right now. I worry about prices and inflation a lot these days. People being locked up for years in their homes, scared of covid, with only twitch streamers, cam models... or the fucking hellhole that is Reddit, for company.

 

[Smoothie]

I was just imagining him shivering alone in the corner, with only his boner for company.

Either you’re a magnificent creative writer, or you found my diary.

 

[inertvolcano]

I used to work at a job where I had the power to tell a customer to go fuck themselves for any reason. Now, I'm back at a standard "the customer is always right" company and I have to put up with the most irritating people day in and day out because the people at the top don't care whether I'm treated like shit as long as they make their money.

I envy your ability to be able to block someone or tell them to take a hike for any reason you feel like, and I think you should enjoy it, guilt free, for my sake. The guy was a jerk. He should have kept it to himself. You did the right thing.

 

[Nienna]

I had to google JOI, lol. I mean, it isn't my cup of tea either, but why make a big deal of it in public? He could have just left, politely saying so, or not saying anything. Why put a damper, (or even an indirect kink shame), on everyone else? Guy needs to chill.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Yeah exactly. I just worry about other people, like I know nothing about him. Maybe he was having a Hellish day and it was his last $6, and then me blocking him might make him cry. Like the adult version of Oliver Twist, but instead of gruel, it's porn. I was just imagining him shivering alone in the corner, with only his boner for company. Yes... my imagination is completely out of control.

I know nothing about him either, of course. But he is an adult. He can be cashed up or near broke. But if he's going to be rude in your room and you ban him, he will learn that some behaviour isn't tolerated by you. Maybe he'll get the message and have better manners the next time he's on site feeling horny or lonely. Or maybe not.

But you know what I mean, the world and economy are tough right now. I worry about prices and inflation a lot these days. People being locked up for years in their homes, scared of covid, with only twitch streamers, cam models... or the fucking hellhole that is Reddit, for company.

Oh yeah, I fully agree that the state of the world and the economy are worrisome.

 

[MarieElise]

Great points everyone, and now if he were to go make a bitching thread somewhere; I have this thread as proof that I cared, and asked for assistance in dealing w him ethically. He got way more than 2 bucks worth of my time and attention now, and I sent him the taping as promised, regardless. Which I concede might come across as strange (ie to get a free clip but then be blocked), but whatever. I have clearly done my due diligence at this point and gone above and beyond.

 

[inertvolcano]

You were a perfect sweetie in this scenario.

 

[Steve__]

Great points everyone, and now if he were to go make a bitching thread somewhere; I have this thread as proof that I cared, and asked for assistance in dealing w him ethically. He got way more than 2 bucks worth of my time and attention now, and I sent him the taping as promised, regardless. Which I concede might come across as strange (ie to get a free clip but then be blocked), but whatever. I have clearly done my due diligence at this point and gone above and beyond.

Well handled @MarieElise I have been a member on mfc for 7 years and two things I always encourage new models to do....realise it's your room and so your rules at all times and cut any negativity out as soon as possible. It is valid to consider the offending member may not have the capacity to know but his negative impact in your room will remain...it seems you models need to vigorously protect your positive energy and so your actions were perfect in my view. well done

 

[ArcticKitty]

Great points everyone, and now if he were to go make a bitching thread somewhere; I have this thread as proof that I cared, and asked for assistance in dealing w him ethically. He got way more than 2 bucks worth of my time and attention now, and I sent him the taping as promised, regardless. Which I concede might come across as strange (ie to get a free clip but then be blocked), but whatever. I have clearly done my due diligence at this point and gone above and beyond.

I didn't know about the recording part. Yeah, I should think he's a closed account. He certainly has no grounds for complaint because you refuse to deal with him any further.

 

[Makko]

I shamefully have to say this happend to me a few times; getting into a show and then getting served something that wasn't described. I made a bit of a fuss and left, but in my defence, it was a lot more than $6.-
I'm not defending the guy, but I can understand his reasoning. I learned from it however and I'm trying to be more polite when this happens.

If it was a poor guy, he would have stayed for the whole show regardless what was in it. So I think he was just being a cheapskate and you don't need to worry about that aspect. Sounds to me it's just a guy thinking to get a nice cheap show to get his kicks but then leaving like a spoiled kid for not getting what he wanted. About banning him, well as I said, he was a cheapskate so no loss there.

 

[MarieElise]

I shamefully have to say this happend to me a few times; getting into a show and then getting served something that wasn't described. I made a bit of a fuss and left, but in my defence, it was a lot more than $6.-
I'm not defending the guy, but I can understand his reasoning. I learned from it however and I'm trying to be more polite when this happens.

It's a new situation for a lot of people so it takes some time to learn etiquette. Don't be too hard on yourself. Hormones are going, blood is pumping etc I can see why he did it too.

Thanks @Steve__ . The sad thing here is I'm not a new model, I've been doing this 7 years. If a new model posted about this exact same thing, I would tell them without hesitation to block him. So basically I'm just being a total weirdo these days. I have some extra stress right now.

 

[inertvolcano]

As some additional encouragement here, some wisdom I picked up during a period of self-employment based on the Pareto Principle is that 20% of your customers take up 80% of your time and energy. In times where you are not financially precarious, one of the best things you can do for your business is to figure out which of those customers are the worst offenders and who are taking up a disproportionate amount of your energy relative to how much money they are actually giving you, and cut them loose. This then frees you up to focus on other aspects of your business - new opportunities or deepening relationships with existing customers.

I'm not a model, but from my conversations with folks I know who are models, this same issue occurs in the cam modeling world with members who are negative, demanding, emotionally immature, etc. and take up time and energy that you could be giving to other customers. You are very experienced, and I bet you have good instincts for who is going to be that kind of member, and an early block can save you a lot of fatigue down the road.

 

[MarieElise]

the Pareto Principle is that 20% of your customers take up 80% of your time and energy.

This is SO true. Very helpful.

 

[ArcticKitty]

It's a new situation for a lot of people so it takes some time to learn etiquette. Don't be too hard on yourself. Hormones are going, blood is pumping etc I can see why he did it too.

Thanks @Steve__ . The sad thing here is I'm not a new model, I've been doing this 7 years. If a new model posted about this exact same thing, I would tell them without hesitation to block him. So basically I'm just being a total weirdo these days. I have some extra stress right now.

(((((@MarieElise )))))

I'm sorry you're dealing with stuff right now. And it makes perfect sense to me that this had you feeling angsty. Remember when I was worried over nothing about going to a camsite? And when I was upset about not wanting to see a model? I think apprehension is a common trait for women with ADHD. It should be included in the diagnostic criteria!


Maybe you will find this perspective helpful; anyone is within their rights to refuse to do business with someone, as long as it isn't discrimination and they got what they paid for were refunded.

 

[Steve__]

It's a new situation for a lot of people so it takes some time to learn etiquette. Don't be too hard on yourself. Hormones are going, blood is pumping etc I can see why he did it too.

Thanks @Steve__ . The sad thing here is I'm not a new model, I've been doing this 7 years. If a new model posted about this exact same thing, I would tell them without hesitation to block him. So basically I'm just being a total weirdo these days. I have some extra stress right now.

well you are a very considerate person i hope your stress eases soon.