Looking to hear your experiences :)

[BufordT]

Hi, so you will see soon, but I am a member, not a model. I have met a model however that I care about very much. However I prefer not to refer to her as a model even though I know it is a job title. I know most guests to your work are just customers but do some become friends? I understand that is a loaded question in the business you are in. I have looked at camming sites some but I have never used them until I saw her. Now we have talked for 100's of hours and it is only talk. I don't mean to say that I am pure and she is also very beautiful. But there are many beautiful women who do this and I have never met someone like her. A little of this is because I can't say it anywhere else and I wonder if it happens to other people also. Either models or customers I suppose. I have tried to refer her to sites like this although I am not sure if she has looked. Since I have met her I have read much on camming. Much of it is good but there are some things that worry me for her. She is a very strong individual but I know the industry has hazards. I guess I would like to be reassured that she will be ok. Also to hear any of your experiences that might be similar. I know this might seem like a strange post, I would just like to hear any thoughts you have. And I can't really talk to anyone else except her about it and because of restrictions even that is limited.

 

[AudriTwo]

i have no idea what you are asking from us, but my advice is get a back tattoo with her name.

 

[Mintx]

Please go to any "fallen in love with cam girl" or, in a little twist, "cam girl scammed me" thread and pretty much all advice and answers you need will be there.

 

[BufordT]

Yes it was funny, and no I won't do that lol. And I understand all of those posts also. I was only asking to hear any stories on the flip side of the coin. I know they are rare but they do happen. Even here there are a few posts about it. I know some people here will think it absolutely ridiculous and that is ok. I expected those comments also and I'll try to keep an open mind about all of them and learn from them too. But to answer your question, I specifically was asking if anyone had similar experiences they would share. Maybe no one will. But that was the question.

 

[AudriTwo]

Experience on what exactly? You are being too vague.

Experience on models and members becoming an item? If that's it, majority of them have a common denominator. Models had their member they were interested to stop paying.

 

[BufordT]

I'm sorry, I didn't think it was vague. Ok, experiences on developing any sort of real feelings that go further than the chat room. I do not mean necessarily becoming an "item" although that is one thing. But also friendships and anything in between. And I am serious and I appreciate your comments also. So maybe another way to say it is that I am asking for any stories of any relationship that went further than the chat room.

I was looking for stories but I also don't mind hearing advice.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Cam sites aren't a dating service. Maybe try Tinder/Fetlife...something of that nature. If you want to simply meet people in a friendly non-sexual environment maybe try here. Most camgirls have boyfriends even if they claim to be single. Sites like the ones I mentioned are a much more likely bet.

 

[Bree Bella]

It's going to always end badly. If you want to date or have friends it's best to join a dating site. 90% of cam models are up there to make money. We are here to get paid for putting on a show for you. If you want to be her friend be her friend on the site you found her on and keep tipping or paying per minute without getting entitled and you guys should have a long lasting friendship. That's just my opinion.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I would consider a lot of my room regulars friends and if I quit camming today I would still want to talk to them, but that was developed over time and without the obsessive worry from them about becoming friends.
It either developes or it doesn’t, if you’re asking questions like this you are probably on an unhealthy path.

 

[BufordT]

Thanks for the replies. I wasn't looking for this by the way. Otherwise I would not have chosen a cam site. But I understand what you mean. And thank you JoleneBrody, that is very helpful. It has been a long time developing. I realize it probably seems and is unhealthy in 99% of the cases. I don't believe this is that way but I will keep it in mind. My main goal though is other peoples experiences so maybe I can learn a little about those things. Even though I don't believe it is unhealthy in this case perhaps it is and I will see why. I realize I could be lucky to hear one happy story here. If I was only trying to hear what I wanted this would not be the best place to do it. But maybe I will get lucky and hear a few happy ones also. I appreciate the input either way.

 

[Emberblaze]

We are bombarded here with men that thought models were their friends/loves and are angry now that they know the truth.

If you are on a cam site with ANY expectation other than being entertained the same way a book, television or normal porn site entertains you will get burned.

Because even if there are happy stories your expectations will make you a prime target for scams. Scam artists can smell people with these expectations a mile away and know what to look for.

 

[BufordT]

Thanks Emberblaze. I did not intend to bombard either. Although these sections are for models as well as guests I know you hear many seemingly similar posts. I am not angry and I didn't have any expectations going in. I am aware of scams going both ways and I understand what you mean. I acknowledge that I will probably appear foolish to many. There is only one model I could be a target for. I will try to keep your advice in mind also if I would ever be tempted to talk to another on a cam site.

 

[Innocent_Intentions]

Hmm. I haven’t been camming long but I can say that I wouldn’t look for a relationship out of this. Although it doesn’t seem like you are (which is smart). A friendship is possible! I have one guy who I met on Chaturbate as a tipper; we also play games together on steam outside of my cam time. It’s rare (I don’t like making “friends” from Chaturbate. This guy was an exception. I normally decline any contact outside of the site) but it can happen. But on the other hand, I wouldn’t get too attached. As blunt as it may sound, her job is to make people lust after her...

 

[BufordT]

Hmm. I haven’t been camming long but I can say that I wouldn’t look for a relationship out of this. Although it doesn’t seem like you are (which is smart). A friendship is possible! I have one guy who I met on Chaturbate as a tipper; we also play games together on steam outside of my cam time. It’s rare (I don’t like making “friends” from Chaturbate. This guy was an exception. I normally decline any contact outside of the site) but it can happen. But on the other hand, I wouldn’t get too attached. As blunt as it may sound, her job is to make people lust after her...

Thanks for letting me know. It's nice to hear even the small positives. There is nothing wrong with friendship, I think that is great. I really understand it is rare but I know people on both sides of the camera are human and some kind of feelings can develop. I really appreciate you telling about it.

 

[paige_orion]

I think a lot of people might be hesitant to answer this question of yours, because it seems like you are looking for a ray of hope that your situation might turn out as one of these rare cases. Seeking validation or That's the exact mindset that allows customers to be taken advantage of. Every single scammed cam-customer has heard stories of others being scammed, but they are convinced that their relationship with their model is one of those rare, true relationships.

On these forums, we try to be realistic and tell people to not expect anything from camsites. When we see members who are showing all of the red-flags of being scammed, they often refuse to believe it. Those rare, happy stories from others are enough to keep them blinded by hope, allowing them to be taken advantage of. You are seeking validation that genuine feelings are possible from her end, and that's veeeeeeery dangerous territory, man.

After spending so much energy trying to tell members to stop expecting relationships with cam models, to enjoy the entertainment but realize that it's all a fantasy... It almost feels irresponsible to turn around and tell a member stories that could allow him to delude himself with hope, especially after he admits that he's interested in one specific model. We get enough "Fallen in Love with a CamGirl" posts as it is.... So offering stories that encourage members to seek real relationships & genuine connections with models... That's just asking to be flooded with even more of those posts!

A good rule of thumb to follow is... If you have to ask yourself if a friendship or relationship is genuine, that's a giant red flag that it moooost likely isn't and your instincts are trying to warn you. Listen to them. Enjoy the cam model for what she is, enjoy her shows and charming personality, and don't expect anything more!

 

[Goblin]

People are people, doesn't matter how you meet you can still like each other

Often model+member can develop into a friendship, but it's usually more like a friendship with a co-worker type thing where you are friends but only in that environment, outside not so much

As Jolene said "if you’re asking questions like this you are probably on an unhealthy path."

Just enjoy r their company while they're on cam and don't expect anything more I think is the healthiest option

 

[AudriTwo]

It's also a good thing to reflect on how much you have spent. Stop spending and see if you get the same attention.

I'm internet friends with some of my regs because they have spent a good chunk of change for my attention. If they didn't, I wouldn't give them anywhere near the attention they got.

Also there are models who do give too much for so little. They don't know how to reign it in when the custy stops. I think this also can lead to conflicting feelings.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Thanks for the replies. I wasn't looking for this by the way. Otherwise I would not have chosen a cam site. But I understand what you mean. And thank you JoleneBrody, that is very helpful. It has been a long time developing. I realize it probably seems and is unhealthy in 99% of the cases. I don't believe this is that way but I will keep it in mind. My main goal though is other peoples experiences so maybe I can learn a little about those things. Even though I don't believe it is unhealthy in this case perhaps it is and I will see why. I realize I could be lucky to hear one happy story here. If I was only trying to hear what I wanted this would not be the best place to do it. But maybe I will get lucky and hear a few happy ones also. I appreciate the input either way.

YOUR obsession with the status of it is what’s unhealthy.

 

[Innocent_Intentions]

It's also a good thing to reflect on how much you have spent. Stop spending and see if you get the same attention.

I'm internet friends with some of my regs because they have spent a good chunk of change for my attention. If they didn't, I wouldn't give them anywhere near the attention they got.

Also there are models who do give too much for so little. They don't know how to reign it in when the custy stops. I think this also can lead to conflicting feelings.

This is so so true. The one guy I talked about in my last reply is internet friends with me only because he was my highest tipper that night. And on top of that, he bought me a game from steam he thought I should try. If tips weren’t involved, it wouldn’t of happened. Like I said, I don’t like making “friends” from camming. The reason is because it always ended bad for the guy/girl; they always had their feelings hurt in the end.
Either from me not giving them the attention they felt like they deserved (I wasn’t receiving anything in return so I’d reply once a week if at all) or they would get upset when I didn’t give a friendly discount (free.99) -_-
Like someone stated above, it IS a fantasy. Aspen is a bubbly fun energetic “loves everybody” type of girl I play. After the camera turns off, the difference is jaw dropping.
It’s great you both can keep each other entertained through conversation. Just don’t try to read into it.
Best of luck,

 

[BufordT]

YOUR obsession with the status of it is what’s unhealthy.

Ok, that is something I may have given the impression of. I am quite sure about the status of it though. To hear about other situations is not because I question the status but because I have no experience with the situation.

 

[BufordT]

It's also a good thing to reflect on how much you have spent. Stop spending and see if you get the same attention.

I'm internet friends with some of my regs because they have spent a good chunk of change for my attention. If they didn't, I wouldn't give them anywhere near the attention they got.

Also there are models who do give too much for so little. They don't know how to reign it in when the custy stops. I think this also can lead to conflicting feelings.

Thanks, that is good advice.

 

[BufordT]

I think a lot of people might be hesitant to answer this question of yours, because it seems like you are looking for a ray of hope that your situation might turn out as one of these rare cases. Seeking validation or That's the exact mindset that allows customers to be taken advantage of. Every single scammed cam-customer has heard stories of others being scammed, but they are convinced that their relationship with their model is one of those rare, true relationships.

On these forums, we try to be realistic and tell people to not expect anything from camsites. When we see members who are showing all of the red-flags of being scammed, they often refuse to believe it. Those rare, happy stories from others are enough to keep them blinded by hope, allowing them to be taken advantage of. You are seeking validation that genuine feelings are possible from her end, and that's veeeeeeery dangerous territory, man.

After spending so much energy trying to tell members to stop expecting relationships with cam models, to enjoy the entertainment but realize that it's all a fantasy... It almost feels irresponsible to turn around and tell a member stories that could allow him to delude himself with hope, especially after he admits that he's interested in one specific model. We get enough "Fallen in Love with a CamGirl" posts as it is.... So offering stories that encourage members to seek real relationships & genuine connections with models... That's just asking to be flooded with even more of those posts!

A good rule of thumb to follow is... If you have to ask yourself if a friendship or relationship is genuine, that's a giant red flag that it moooost likely isn't and your instincts are trying to warn you. Listen to them. Enjoy the cam model for what she is, enjoy her shows and charming personality, and don't expect anything more!

This is a really good thought. I had not thought it might seem like I am seeking validation. I could see why that would be something you would feel could be irresponsible to answer. It is not that I am asking you for validation though. I'm seeking common references for an unfamiliar territory. By the way, scams can come from either side of the camera and in normal relationships people deceive other all the time also. Your cautions are very appropriate though.

 

[BufordT]

I wanted to say that a few posts have made me understand some of the reactions better. I did want to mention one thing though. I received a message from a model about this thread. She wanted to tell me her experience which was a mix of some good and some bad things. She didn't want to post here though in case she would be ridiculed or called naïve. Its unfortunate she could not share it here. I appreciated her response. I understand most relationships are fantasies. I am not asking for anyone to tell me what I feel is right or wrong. I'm asking what happens if and when they are real by both people. But your replies have also helped me understand why it is a tricky subject to answer and also the concerns about giving responsible answers. I do appreciate all your replies. The most helpful to me was the message. Her experience makes understand a little of what can happen when it is real. I think that information could be helpful to some people. You have all made some good points though why people should be careful in sharing those things.

 

[n_i_c_u]

I guess I would like to be reassured that she will be ok.

She will be ok. She probably has a boyfriend/husband she can talk to about work and a real group of friends she trusts. Like, in real life and stuff--just because she is alone on cam for a few hours doesn't mean the other 22 hours she isn't being social with her hometown reality.

There are a few models I have exchanged numbers with and tipped a ton. It started out with us texting each other a lot but we have both moved on (I think I'm not all that interesting and it is a weird territory to be in as I don't want to bug them too much or get too personal). Still some occasional texting or app stuff but for the most part I don't tip enough when they work for it to be worthwhile to them. No hard feelings. Actually it is a relief as I can't keep up with the younger crowd anymore.

 

[Mfc_anon]

I'm asking what happens if and when they are real by both people.

Then it just becomes a normal relationship just like any other. Why would you need to consult the advice of models or members then?

 

[BufordT]

Then it just becomes a normal relationship just like any other. Why would you need to consult the advice of models or members then?

I understand that can be an end result. I am actually not expecting that in this case. At least not the "normal" I think you are referring to as in becoming "an item" as someone else said. I think you probably know there is a spectrum of possible relationships and ways they could go in between though. And it is the in between where there are certain aspects that will not be normal. You are right though, at that stage it would this would have no point.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I'm a model who is now living with/crazy in love with a former regular in my chatroom and I'm very happy! The reason I'm not a lot more hesitant to post my story now is honestly giving a false sense of assurance in these situations from some of the other lovesick/does this model actually like me etc threads where there are constant screaming red flags. Every relationship is different. Every individual is different. Sharing my story won't change any of that. What happens when both sides feel real? You meet and take things from there or keep in contact and be friends idk-like any long-distance relationship that brewed on a camsite or anywhere else: friendship or romantic it depends greatly on what both people want out of it. Real feelings are for sure possible the same way people can fall in love or befriend with their co-worker,barista or a random person you bump into on the street. It's just the expectations of one or both people of these situations where things get weird.

Story:I started falling HARD for my current partner after we started chatting on KIK and became close. Then we began skyping for like +8 hours a day for ..9 months-not kidding imagine how much that would've cost him if I charged him lol. Everything just fell into place. I gave him attention without the need to be tipped-although he still did even though I told him he didn't have to. He bought a ticket here (after we both discussed and agreed to it) moved in and we've been attached to eachother for the past 3 years now. Sometimes he wants to come into my chatroom now and tip me or something but I just tell him to buy me something from the store instead lol. Anywaysss....

I'm genuinely suprised a model wouldn't want to share here out of fear of ridicule since there are plenty of us open about living with or dating a member. I've gotten more ridicule from people who don't really know what camsites are. Just old school people that hear "we met online" and think it's this horrible, no way it could ever ever be real type of thing. I think we of all people here understand the capabilities of ppl developing 'real feelings' on the internet but at the same time don't like to see people obsess over something that can be unhealthy to them or things where it's a love scam that we see happen etc.

*edit: not sure if any of this is in fact helpful due to how vague the questioning was but I tried lol

 

[BufordT]

She will be ok. She probably has a boyfriend/husband she can talk to about work and a real group of friends she trusts. Like, in real life and stuff--just because she is alone on cam for a few hours doesn't mean the other 22 hours she isn't being social with her hometown reality.

There are a few models I have exchanged numbers with and tipped a ton. It started out with us texting each other a lot but we have both moved on (I think I'm not all that interesting and it is a weird territory to be in as I don't want to bug them too much or get too personal). Still some occasional texting or app stuff but for the most part I don't tip enough when they work for it to be worthwhile to them. No hard feelings. Actually it is a relief as I can't keep up with the younger crowd anymore.

You know, I probably should not have added that part although not for the reasons you mention. That subject is actually too broad and vague. I would never be able to ask the specific questions about it that would yield a meaningful conversation. And I actually am sure that she will be ok. But your experience is relevant and thanks for sharing it.

 

[BufordT]

I'm a model who is now living with/crazy in love with a former regular in my chatroom and I'm very happy! The reason I'm not a lot more hesitant to post my story now is honestly giving a false sense of assurance in these situations from some of the other lovesick/does this model actually like me etc threads where there are constant screaming red flags. Every relationship is different. Every individual is different. Sharing my story won't change any of that. What happens when both sides feel real? You meet and take things from there or keep in contact and be friends idk-like any long-distance relationship that brewed on a camsite or anywhere else: friendship or romantic it depends greatly on what both people want out of it. Real feelings are for sure possible the same way people can fall in love or befriend with their co-worker,barista or a random person you bump into on the street. It's just the expectations of one or both people of these situations where things get weird.

Story:I started falling HARD for my current partner after we started chatting on KIK and became close. Then we began skyping for like +8 hours a day for ..9 months-not kidding imagine how much that would've cost him if I charged him lol. Everything just fell into place. I gave him attention without the need to be tipped-although he still did even though I told him he didn't have to. He bought a ticket here (after we both discussed and agreed to it) moved in and we've been attached to eachother for the past 3 years now. Sometimes he wants to come into my chatroom now and tip me or something but I just tell him to buy me something from the store instead lol. Anywaysss....

I'm genuinely suprised a model wouldn't want to share here out of fear of ridicule since there are plenty of us open about living with or dating a member. I've gotten more ridicule from people who don't really know what camsites are. Just old school people that hear "we met online" and think it's this horrible, no way it could ever ever be real type of thing. I think we of all people here understand the capabilities of ppl developing 'real feelings' on the internet but at the same time don't like to see people obsess over something that can be unhealthy to them or things where it's a love scam that we see happen etc.

*edit: not sure if any of this is in fact helpful due to how vague the questioning was but I tried lol

Thanks for sharing, it is actually very helpful. I don't think the question is too vague but I know the details I have mentioned are vague. They will have to stay that way for the other person. For myself I would be happy to share them. I understand some of the hesitancy better now also. I am glad things worked out so well for you though and appreciate you taking the time to post. I don't expect the same thing for this, the situation is a little different than yours. It is nice to know sometimes things work out well though and congratulations.

 

[Emberblaze]

Hopefully everything works out for you in whatever way is best.

You seem a lot more level headed than a lot of the posts we get on this topic.

I've tried to be friends with regulars in the past but it often gets to point where it gets weird. I only have one regular that I had from when I still streamed on MFC that I chat with freely. But he's really respectful of my time and doesn't message often.