Leaving an MFC model's room

[MFCuser]

I've been on MFC for a little less than a year. I used to bounce around several rooms and was a fairly high tipper in a couple rooms, but recently have been almost exclusive to one model. Now when i'm online and not in these model's rooms they will PM me just chatting but its kind of clear they are trying to get me back into their rooms. I will still pop in here and there to say hi, but I dont tip anywhere near the amounts i used to. I still enjoy them, but I just have more of a connection with the model whose room i have been spending most of my time and tokens in.

What a model's perspective on this. Does it make me look like an asshole for going from almost always being in their room and tipping a lot to almost never being in there but still coming by every now and then? Is it better just to break clean?

 

[Alice_Biscuit]

I would make a clean break, otherwise she will just keep on wondering what she's doing wrong. I've been on the other side of this a fair few times, having members who used to be very active and sweet still coming into my room to say hi, before heading on to their new girls room. While it was nice that they still wanted to check in with me, every time they did it was a sad reminder that they didn't consider me worth their time or support any more. I'd honestly have preferred a clean break. That way you'll also free up their attention to concentrate on making new new friends who do have the time and tokens to support them! :thumbleft:

 

[JoleneBrody]

I would make a clean break, otherwise she will just keep on wondering what she's doing wrong. I've been on the other side of this a fair few times, having members who used to be very active and sweet still coming into my room to say hi, before heading on to their new girls room. While it was nice that they still wanted to check in with me, every time they did it was a sad reminder that they didn't consider me worth their time or support any more. I'd honestly have preferred a clean break. That way you'll also free up their attention to concentrate on making new new friends who do have the time and tokens to support them! :thumbleft:

GREATEST THING EVER WRITTEN

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

I totally understand what Alice is saying but... (there always is) I've lost track of how many times I've see twitter lately models complaining about how nobody is talking in there rooms. It seems to be me there's been at last 1/2 dozen threads on the subject in the last few months.

So here is a member who is not only talking, but also tipping albeit much lower level and you say no go away. So which is it do you want talkers and tippers, or do you not want to be remaining that on a site with thousands of models that member has found a model that he likes better now.

I'm so confused.

 

[AmberCutie]

I totally understand what Alice is saying but... (there always is) I've lost track of how many times I've see twitter lately models complaining about how nobody is talking in there rooms. It seems to be me there's been at last 1/2 dozen threads on the subject in the last few months.

So here is a member who is not only talking, but also tipping albeit much lower level and you say no go away. So which is it do you want talkers and tippers, or do you not want to be remaining that on a site with thousands of models that member has found a model that he likes better now.

I'm so confused.

It's a catch22, we want both! Hah. Sorry we cam girls are a strange species to master.

 

[Mila_]

Well, if you were a new face I would certainly like you to come and talk and tip a little bit here and there. But if someone who used to be a hardcore regular starts visiting less and tipping way less, it is different because there are different expectations. She will always expect you to do what she is used to see you doing. And when you enter her room she will be distracted by your presence asking herself when/if you will do your thing and why things changed. This is especially bad when you are always on and she can see your name on her friends list only you aren't in her room, and if you have your tokens or your points visible and she can see that you are still spending like you used to only not on her, it is even more aggravating. It is better to do a clean break and move on. For everyone involved.

 

[housewifeswag]

This is especially bad when you are always on and she can see your name on her friends list only you aren't in her room, and if you have your tokens or your points visible and she can see that you are still spending like you used to only not on her, it is even more aggravating. It is better to do a clean break and move on. For everyone involved.

This. While we understand you're going to enjoy other models (because let's face it, most of us do also! we totally get it) it's really frustrating seeing you spend tons of other tokens on other models if you were once a hardcore regular.

 

[JickyJuly]

I'm confused by what clean break means in this situation. Do you guys mean that you'd want him to message you that he won't be visiting anymore and then not visit? Or just stop visiting? I think I fall on the other side of things. If a regular is moving on to spend their moneys elsewhere, I don't want it explained to me. I don't want them to feel like it's a big deal, and I don't mind if they just drop in every once in a while to throw some gold and say hi. Keeping things nice and casual is what makes me comfortable. Big announcements, explanations or apologies are way too much for me in camland.

 

[Lexi Emerson]

I'm confused by what clean break means in this situation. Do you guys mean that you'd want him to message you that he won't be visiting anymore and then not visit? Or just stop visiting? I think I fall on the other side of things. If a regular is moving on to spend their moneys elsewhere, I don't want it explained to me. I don't want them to feel like it's a big deal, and I don't mind if they just drop in every once in a while to throw some gold and say hi. Keeping things nice and casual is what makes me comfortable. Big announcements, explanations or apologies are way too much for me in camland.

Personally, I like them to just cut me off with no explanation IF they've decided not to come around anymore. I honestly would rather have any tippers around even if it is someone going from tipping a lot to just a little though. I don't mind too much and I agree, I like to make it not a big deal. Are my feelings hurt sometimes? Yeah, definitely. But I think it is just part of the job.

I have found the problem is though, that sometimes the big tippers who find another girl but decide to still pop in occasionally and tip here and there still expect the same things from us. So like if you're going to go from tipping and talking a lot to suddenly not as much but you want to still come around now and then... know that the relationship is probably going to drastically change! Don't expect as much attention when you suddenly come around a lot less.

 

[ScarletRaven]

I totally understand what Alice is saying but... (there always is) I've lost track of how many times I've see twitter lately models complaining about how nobody is talking in there rooms. It seems to be me there's been at last 1/2 dozen threads on the subject in the last few months.

So here is a member who is not only talking, but also tipping albeit much lower level and you say no go away. So which is it do you want talkers and tippers, or do you not want to be remaining that on a site with thousands of models that member has found a model that he likes better now.

I'm so confused.

The camming world is VERY confusing. It has always been my opinion that MFC is like a candy store and the best part about it is that you can indulge in many different cravings. Some days you like gummy worms and other days you need a butterfinger. It hurts a lot when a regular and big tipper leaves you but the reality is that is part of the job. For me its really hard because I get close to people and then feel slightly heartbroken when I lose a friend. I try really hard to just move on and remind myself its the nature of the job. If there is something specific that a model did to push you away or make you leave then they may really appreciate the feedback(I would!!!) otherwise I think a clean break is for the best. Nobody wants a pity visit to their room and then if you have tokens...ugh such a mind battle!

 

[MFCuser]

Good discussion, thanks for the input. The thing with the two models I'm talking about is they are both fairly consistently in the top 20 so even though I'm not tipping as much they aren't necessarily hurting for tokens, there are others bigger tippers to fill in for me. I do know that one of them kind of half jokingly contacted the model I have been spending more time with about stealing me even though I never pretended to be exclusive to her so that kind of turned me off from her.

 

[MFCuser]

I have found the problem is though, that sometimes the big tippers who find another girl but decide to still pop in occasionally and tip here and there still expect the same things from us. So like if you're going to go from tipping and talking a lot to suddenly not as much but you want to still come around now and then... know that the relationship is probably going to drastically change! Don't expect as much attention when you suddenly come around a lot less.

This is interesting and I have an honest question. What do you mean by expect the same things from you? Maybe I don't expect enough for my tokens, but if I'm tipping just to tip and for nothing specific it's just because I enjoy being there. I don't necessarily "expect" anything, if anything I'm tipping because i already feel like I have gotten something worth tipping for

 

[Jillybean]

This is interesting and I have an honest question. What do you mean by expect the same things from you? Maybe I don't expect enough for my tokens, but if I'm tipping just to tip and for nothing specific it's just because I enjoy being there. I don't necessarily "expect" anything, if anything I'm tipping because i already feel like I have gotten something worth tipping for

I think what she means is that it's exhausting trying to deal with a member who expects the same attention he used to get when he was contributing more. They miss the attention they used to get when they were tipping bigger, especially if the camgirl is giving attention to new big tippers. That gets so exhausting and awkward trying to find where the relationship with the member stands after he's stopped coming around and tipping so much. It would be weird to dote over him when others are tipping more. And it's weird not to dote over him because that's just what the girl is used to doing.

It's just a really awkward place to be in.

And I don't think Lexie was suggesting you're that kind of member who expects the same attention no matter how you're contributing. But there are those members who stop tipping, or come around less and less, and get jealous if the camgirl directs more attention elsewhere.

This is a really weird dynamic to talk about. Hehe!! I haven't been on MFC in a long long time. But this same thing happens on SM. I do get regs who haven't taken me private or joined a gold show in a long time, yet still expect special attention in free chat. It drives me nuts.

 

[MFCuser]

I think what she means is that it's exhausting trying to deal with a member who expects the same attention he used to get when he was contributing more. Then they miss the attention they used to get when they were tipping bigger, especially if the camgirl is giving attention to new big tippers. That gets so exhausting and awkward trying to find where the relationship with the member stands after he's stopped coming around and tipping so much. It would be weird to dote over him when others are tipping more. And it's weird not to dote over him because that's just what the girl is used to doing.

It's just a really awkward place to be in.

And I don't think Lexie was suggesting you're that kind of member who expects the same attention no matter how you're contributing. But there are those members who stop tipping and get jealous if the camgirl directs more attention elsewhere.

This is a really weird dynamic to talk about. Hehe!! I haven't been on MFC in a long long time. But this same thing happens on SM. I do get regs who haven't taking me private or joined a gold show in a long time, yet still expect special attention in free chat. It drives me nuts.

I see, that makes sense. I guess I'm pretty low maintenance lol

 

[Lexi Emerson]

I think what she means is that it's exhausting trying to deal with a member who expects the same attention he used to get when he was contributing more. They miss the attention they used to get when they were tipping bigger, especially if the camgirl is giving attention to new big tippers. That gets so exhausting and awkward trying to find where the relationship with the member stands after he's stopped coming around and tipping so much. It would be weird to dote over him when others are tipping more. And it's weird not to dote over him because that's just what the girl is used to doing.

It's just a really awkward place to be in.

And I don't think Lexie was suggesting you're that kind of member who expects the same attention no matter how you're contributing. But there are those members who stop tipping, or come around less and less, and get jealous if the camgirl directs more attention elsewhere.

This is a really weird dynamic to talk about. Hehe!! I haven't been on MFC in a long long time. But this same thing happens on SM. I do get regs who haven't taken me private or joined a gold show in a long time, yet still expect special attention in free chat. It drives me nuts.

She has got it exactly right! And just so you know, I was speaking really generally- not specifically about you! Sorry if it came off that way.

I had a big tipper really recently leave to spend more time in another girl's room. He would pop in every once and a while and questioned why he didn't get the same special attention from me. I am someone who wants to make sure you feel appreciated if you are going above and beyond everyone else, he wasn't really there anymore so I stopped doing dome those things. He just couldn't grasp the idea that I wasn't going to put as much effort into our relationship if he was going to cut down his time and tokens in my room so drastically. We need to focus on people who are focusing on us!

So I was just kind of trying to point out that some people may not realize that things won't be the same if you suddenly change the amount of time and tokens into them.

 

[MFCuser]

She has got it exactly right! And just so you know, I was speaking really generally- not specifically about you! Sorry if it came off that way.

I had a big tipper really recently leave to spend more time in another girl's room. He would pop in every once and a while and questioned why he didn't get the same special attention from me. I am someone who wants to make sure you feel appreciated if you are going above and beyond everyone else, he wasn't really there anymore so I stopped doing dome those things. He just couldn't grasp the idea that I wasn't going to put as much effort into our relationship if he was going to cut down his time and tokens in my room so drastically. We need to focus on people who are focusing on us!

So I was just kind of trying to point out that some people may not realize that things won't be the same if you suddenly change the amount of time and tokens into them.

That makes sense. And just to clarify I wasn't saying you were talking about me, I guess I was just relaying my thoughts and trying to see what other guys expect from your perspective . I guess that might be too behind the scenes for this kind of forum though lol

 

[JoleneBrody]

I was more thinking along the lines of the member who basically already made the clean break, but does the "I just wanted to stop bye and say hi! See ya later" every. single. day... It's one thing if you still spend time with that model other days (that's super nice from my room staples on days they spend with others), but if the ONLY time you spend is "to just say hi real quick" what's the point? At that point you are just basically reminding the model every single day that you no longer care to spend time with her for zero real reason. I'm not even talking about tipping here, just the saying hi and bailing daily thing.

I just don't see the point

ETA: To clarify this is not directed at OP, more more at the general audience. It doesn't sound like this fits you and this is really the only thing that bothers me.

 

[NerdieBirdie]

I'll admit that I totally message my consistent tippers who suddenly become tippers no more but I see them logged in. I'm just curious. Maybe they are in a hardship. Or maybe it is another model.

From personal experience, people in hardships will usually tell me and people who have "moved on" will usually ignore me. But it sucks because I usually have to send a, "hey what's up?" for like three of four days to ensure they aren't AFK or something and really ignoring me. I'd rather just know. Its sucks to lose them, but so goes life. I definitely do not watch the same models I was 6 months ago. People and their interests change.

I think its really whatever makes you comfortable in responding to these models. You don't owe them any explanation, but if you think it will get them to understand you may not be tipping as much, then just be honest.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Camland can be an emotional minefield for models and members alike, yo. I don't think you're an asshole at all though. Members moving around from model to model is a pretty fundamental aspect of cam sites like MFC, but it can also cause a lot of hurt, and I don't know of any way around that.

From the member's perspective, we're not beholden to any one model. We can move around from room to room freely and shouldn't feel guilty for that. We can pick and choose who we visit and who we spend our tokens on and are under no obligation to spend the majority of our time in camland in any one room.

From the model's perspective, that aspect of camming must suck. I can easily empathise with a model who has a friendly, high-tipping member visit them frequently, who strikes up an online friendship with them, and who then decides for one reason or another, that they'd rather spend their time in another model's room. There are a thousand reasons why a member might choose to visit another model's room over yours and I'm sure none of them are particularly comforting.

There's no 'quick fix' to ensure that everyone involved comes out of the situation with their feelings intact but I reckon empathy from both sides will always make things at least a little easier.

Members - keep in mind that a model being consistently reminded of the fact that you spend your time in other rooms now is like having a scab routinely picked at. Also keep in mind that this is ultimately her job and the more someone else is tipping her, the more of her attention that person can reasonably expect and the less attention she can afford to give you.

Models - keep in mind that just because a member sees less of you than they once did doesn't mean they think any less of you. If they think of you as a friend, they might be upset being told that you'd rather not see them at all if they're not going to tip you as much as they used to.

 

[Sevrin]

From the model's perspective, that aspect of camming must suck. I can easily empathise with a model who has a friendly, high-tipping member visit them frequently, who strikes up an online friendship with them, and who then decides for one reason or another, that they'd rather spend their time in another model's room. There are a thousand reasons why a member might choose to visit another model's room over yours and I'm sure none of them are particularly comforting.

That about sums up my reasons for rarely logging into MFC much anymore. I've gotten to know a few models pretty well, but I'm not in a place where I'm prepared to tip like I used to, so I tend to stay away altogether. Life is simpler that way. The last two times I logged in and bought tokens were for birthdays I didn't want to miss, and they were two accounts known to two different models. I know I'd still be welcome if I didn't tip much, but I have a history and know what kind of expectations there would be.

 

[MFCuser]

That about sums up my reasons for rarely logging into MFC much anymore. I've gotten to know a few models pretty well, but I'm not in a place where I'm prepared to tip like I used to, so I tend to stay away altogether. Life is simpler that way. The last two times I logged in and bought tokens were for birthdays I didn't want to miss, and they were two accounts known to two different models. I know I'd still be welcome if I didn't tip much, but I have a history and know what kind of expectations there would be.

I sometimes think being involved with cam models is more difficult than having a girlfriend

 

[glight116]

yeah this sucks. i hope the fact that i tipped a large amount in the past and cant tip as much now wont negatively affect things. im still going to tip pretty well and decent but im just worried there may be expectations because of how much i tipped in the past.

 

[hapa74]

I sometimes think being involved with cam models is more difficult than having a girlfriend

I think it's a "life" thing. Every type of relationship in life comes with it's unique set of challenges. It's how we navigate them that is important.

 

[yummybrownfox]

From the model's perspective, that aspect of camming must suck. I can easily empathise with a model who has a friendly, high-tipping member visit them frequently, who strikes up an online friendship with them, and who then decides for one reason or another, that they'd rather spend their time in another model's room. There are a thousand reasons why a member might choose to visit another model's room over yours and I'm sure none of them are particularly comforting.

Members - keep in mind that a model being consistently reminded of the fact that you spend your time in other rooms now is like having a scab routinely picked at. Also keep in mind that this is ultimately her job and the more someone else is tipping her, the more of her attention that person can reasonably expect and the less attention she can afford to give you.

Models - keep in mind that just because a member sees less of you than they once did doesn't mean they think any less of you. If they think of you as a friend, they might be upset being told that you'd rather not see them at all if they're not going to tip you as much as they used to.

Well said, Bob!

 

[ConnerJay]

Many mixed responses going on here!

If only you could ask the models in question themselves without ruining their day.

For me....

This situation would suck a lot if the member is someone I really enjoy the company of.
I would hate to never hear from them again if I considered them a friend, y'know?
If the member still liked me and all that jazz I would like them to still be in my room, even if it was less often/less tokens. As long as it didn't become a same amount of time but less tokens thing. I can deal with being your #2 Internet sexbot pal, as long you don't rub it in my face and still respect me and my time all the same.

BUT "Hi just stopping by *tips 10 tokens* Bye" can be a big downer when it is from someone you used to chat with for hours. So if the member really doesn't have enough time nor tokens for more than that I would prefer we just let the Internet friendship RIP.

 

[glight116]

wait...so if im heariing you correctly Conner Jay, you are saying you dont want someone to be around if they are still there the same amount but tip less? this is the exact situation im about to be in.

 

[Lexi Emerson]

Hey I wanna clarify something from my posts! So this is our job of course and tokens are important, obviously. It always sucks when a tipper goes from tipping a lot to suddenly not as much but we all understand that things happen and sometimes you just can't do as much. But don't let that keep you away guys! Some of us really like the friend aspect of camming as well and we all like having an active room. So if you're really tight with a model... Just because you can't tip as much as you use to, doesn't mean you're suddenly useless. Tip what you can and still be a good chatter in the room! Can't tip as much? Help keep conversations going!

Conner was spot on. If you only pop in, tip a small amount, and leave... Then you might as well just be done. Otherwise yeah, I think that time you spend in a model's room and what you can bring to the atmosphere is pretty important, too!

 

[JickyJuly]

I just saw Scarlet Raven's picture next to where she quoted HiGirls and thought that he was the owner of the My Little Ponies avatar. Bronies!

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

I can not lie I am the inventor and owner of all My Little Ponies intellectual property.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Ok so imagine this not all hypothetical scenario.

My new favorite models tweets that she'll be on soon. I log on. she isn't on. I see that an old favorite is on.
I'm inclined to go into old favorite room and hang out. I don't know how long that will because soon is a camgirl time which can mean anything from 5 minutes to the two days. If I am there for more than 10 minutes, I'll tip. Some nights it may only be 5 minutes others it might be 3 hours. Now obviously, you don't want to be a big asshole and say oh I have to run my favorite is online. Yes, if you want to get butthurt you can see I'm still online, but that could because I'm making dinner or watching netflix.

"MFC is not a dating site" goes both ways, there are 20,000 models what's so bad about being #2-10