Is it a scam?

[AudriTwo]

This is an old hustle. My father spent an entire year talking with an obvious cammodel he met on eHarmony back in 2007. She engaged in conversation with him. Never asked for money until a year of penpaling.

I call it "the slow burn"


Models, studios, and affiliates who advertise and hustle on dating make it harder for the rest of us cammodels who fucking don't and probably are causing harm to people by faking these interactions. They are deceiving those men into thinking they have a chance. Its exploiting the lonely heart for profit and that is just foul.

 

[misterical]

This is an old hustle. My father spent an entire year talking with an obvious cammodel he met on eHarmony back in 2007. She engaged in conversation with him. Never asked for money until a year of penpaling.

I call it "the slow burn"


Models, studios, and affiliates who advertise and hustle on dating make it harder for the rest of us cammodels who fucking don't and probably are causing harm to people by faking these interactions. They are deceiving those men into thinking they have a chance. Its exploiting the lonely heart for profit and that is just foul.

Initially my thought was "that's a lot of effort" but presumably they have a whole load of guys being strung along who are all at various different stages of the process. I guess they only need a couple of them to pay off.

 

[Lilly_____]

Initially my thought was "that's a lot of effort" but presumably they have a whole load of guys being strung along who are all at various different stages of the process. I guess they only need a couple of them to pay off.

Thats exactly it. They're probably throwing this "you're different and special" bullshit to tons of guys at once. It gonna work with some of them and that's all they need.

OP, I'm glad to read that you're using your best judgement on this and not falling for it. A lot of guys come to this forum asking the same question you did but won't listen to the reasonable responses they get. They tend to double down and keep defending the idea that they are indeed involved in "something real" (whatever that might mean to them). You're already years ahead by analyzing the answers you got with honesty. If you're looking for someone to date for real, move on and keep at it, and you'll eventually find someone who's worth it. Someone will find you special for real and not because it's their hustle, I'm sure of that.

As a rule of thumb, I'd say if you have to ask "am I being scammed?", you probably are.

 

[ArcticKitty]

OP, in all honesty, the best advice I can think to give you is to develop your social life IRL and/or online. If you're single and looking, dating apps are hit//miss with pitfalls and traps, as you've seen. Adult webcam sites are Not a place to look, as you seem to have already realised. For real, the best way to meet women is the same way as by meeting people in general, FB special interest groups online, events in your area, that sort of thing where you already know you have something in common with someone and a shared interest. Best wishes

 

[AudriTwo]

Thats exactly it. They're probably throwing this "you're different and special" bullshit to tons of guys at once. It gonna work with some of them and that's all they need.

everyone gets the "car warranty has expired" phonecalls because its a telemarketing scam that works. out of 100 calls, maybe like 4 people are naive or gullible enough to pay them hundreds of dollars for a worthless warranty. car warranty phone calls have been a thing forever. i remember getting those phonecalls at home in the 90s.

same logic applies to cammodels telling every member "you are different and special".

 

[Tarkin1021]

This is an old hustle. My father spent an entire year talking with an obvious cammodel he met on eHarmony back in 2007. She engaged in conversation with him. Never asked for money until a year of penpaling.

I call it "the slow burn"


Models, studios, and affiliates who advertise and hustle on dating make it harder for the rest of us cammodels who fucking don't and probably are causing harm to people by faking these interactions. They are deceiving those men into thinking they have a chance. Its exploiting the lonely heart for profit and that is just foul.

I love little shop of horrors! It's my favorite! I watch it every year! Thanks for the response. That's why I came here after 10 days haha I'm very skeptical but honest. I don't have a lot of experience dealing with dishonest people. I'm just too believing I guess

 

[Tarkin1021]

Thats exactly it. They're probably throwing this "you're different and special" bullshit to tons of guys at once. It gonna work with some of them and that's all they need.

OP, I'm glad to read that you're using your best judgement on this and not falling for it. A lot of guys come to this forum asking the same question you did but won't listen to the reasonable responses they get. They tend to double down and keep defending the idea that they are indeed involved in "something real" (whatever that might mean to them). You're already years ahead by analyzing the answers you got with honesty. If you're looking for someone to date for real, move on and keep at it, and you'll eventually find someone who's worth it. Someone will find you special for real and not because it's their hustle, I'm sure of that.

As a rule of thumb, I'd say if you have to ask "am I being scammed?", you probably are.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. Even after the responses I got, I thought I would just play along with the scammer, but I can't do it. It's over and I'm not going to fall for that again. I appreciate your words of encouragement, but I've been trying to date for a while now. I really am a highly specialized rocket engineer and I have a job opportunity, but it involves erasing my identity. (You know like men in black - those jobs really exist) I wanted to try once more at having a relationship first, but alas I failed.

 

[Lilly_____]

Thank you for taking the time to respond. Even after the responses I got, I thought I would just play along with the scammer, but I can't do it. It's over and I'm not going to fall for that again. I appreciate your words of encouragement, but I've been trying to date for a while now. I really am a highly specialized rocket engineer and I have a job opportunity, but it involves erasing my identity. (You know like men in black - those jobs really exist) I wanted to try once more at having a relationship first, but alas I failed.

I can assure you though, camgirls might not be as cool as Men in Black but we also struggle with our "double identities". But a lot of cam models (myself not included lol but I have a lack of IRL social skills) manage to have relationships just fine.

So even though I'm not the most optimistic person around, I can say, if that's what you want, keep at it. It may take some time but you can do it. Sometimes just let it go and it will find you eventually. (I guess maybe I am optimistic after all?)

 

[cbhours]

There are companies that hire people to write messages on dating sites and pay them per message. They keep notes on personal details because its multiple people responding to the messages rather than 1 person being assigned to each individual. I'm not saying that's whats happening here but if they have infinite patience and their writing style keeps changing then its probably one of those companies.

Edit: nevermind sorry I dont know where my head is at I didnt see the IG and telegram part

 

[Tarkin1021]

I can assure you though, camgirls might not be as cool as Men in Black but we also struggle with our "double identities". But a lot of cam models (myself not included lol but I have a lack of IRL social skills) manage to have relationships just fine.

So even though I'm not the most optimistic person around, I can say, if that's what you want, keep at it. It may take some time but you can do it. Sometimes just let it go and it will find you eventually. (I guess maybe I am optimistic after all?)

Yep. You're an optimist. I don't have social skills either haha. That's probably why I fell victim for the scam. There's a couple different job offers I can choose. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'll skip out on the Men in Black thing and choose the job that will still let me have a social life.

 

[Tarkin1021]

Update:

I didn't just want to not reply (I hate that) I sent the scammer a message thanking them for the pleasant conversation. Then I explained my suspicions and implored them to try and build a better society wherever they're at. (I know I know) I won't be talking to them anymore.

I would also like to thank everyone who commented and for all the advice I got. I'm glad I took it. It was hard, but deep down, I always knew it was an illusion. I had fully expected that my post here would either be rejected or ignored or that if anyone did reply, that I would just be ridiculed and shamed for my own ignorance and foolishness. Thank you for your kindness and support. I'm truly grateful for the good people here.

 

[inertvolcano]

Aw buddy, you're a sweetheart.

 

[Tarkin1021]

Hey maybe the scamner was moved by my speech haha. They admitted the whole thing was a scam and then accused me of reading too many love fantasies and that the world I dream of doesn't exist. Atleast I got a shred of honesty in the end.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Hey maybe the scamner was moved by my speech haha. They admitted the whole thing was a scam and then accused me of reading too many love fantasies and that the world I dream of doesn't exist. Atleast I got a shred of honesty in the end.

that's an interesting response lol.

Thing about social skills they are *skills*, we develop them over time. Some will be naturally suited to them, and some wont but they take practice. After covid I feel like my in person social skills dropped a LOT.
So if you know that its a weak area for you, and it's also something you want more of then it's just something you gotta *do* to get better at. That'll probably come along with some awkwardness and social fails etc but you'll get better at it each time. It's certainly a better use of your time than being spoon fed fantasies by scammers after your $$$.

I know cams are not your thing but I often have customers that want to practice various social or sexual skills (like dirty talk) while they build up confidence and skill in those areas. The reason this is different than a scam is that its an honest transaction. The person is paying for something that is clearly defined. There's no stringing anyone along. But there are lots of other people that can help you practice social skills for a fee too. Life coaches, therapists, etiquette coaches etc. You're a rocket engineer - don't be afraid to spend $$ on the areas you're weak on that you want to get better at.

Oh and the reason you didn't get shamed here is because you were willing to listen/take advice. I think you might actually be the first person I've seen post their story that actually did that. Most of them get defensive when we tell them the truth, and it turns into a thread of them desperately trying to prove to us that they're different. Most of us have been scammed in one way or another before. It sucks. I fell for so many scams when i started camming.

 

[Smoothie]

Hey maybe the scamner was moved by my speech haha. They admitted the whole thing was a scam and then accused me of reading too many love fantasies and that the world I dream of doesn't exist. Atleast I got a shred of honesty in the end.

To be honest, I haven’t seen a lot of examples of guys getting scammers to give up trying and outright admit it’s a scam. Pretty interesting.

You must have done a good job convincing them you were definitely not falling for it, if they chose to admit it right away. Well done.

Glad it (sort of) worked out in your favor. And like others have said, your level-headed approach is a breath of fresh air. Thanks for that.

 

[inertvolcano]

Hey maybe the scamner was moved by my speech haha. They admitted the whole thing was a scam and then accused me of reading too many love fantasies and that the world I dream of doesn't exist. Atleast I got a shred of honesty in the end.

I promise a world where you find someone who loves and respects you can and does exist.

 

[InannahQoH]

I feel that this type of advertising is extremely unethical. You are part of the reason why people like OP get scammed and hurt.

Yes I also consider (dating apps/etc) as unethical, and not needed.
But its part of the (a lot) of the Colombian agency teachings..
So.. its common.

And I got GF to move away from that style, a long time ago, when I helped transfer her from agency to independent.

 

[Tarkin1021]

that's an interesting response lol.

Thing about social skills they are *skills*, we develop them over time. Some will be naturally suited to them, and some wont but they take practice. After covid I feel like my in person social skills dropped a LOT.
So if you know that its a weak area for you, and it's also something you want more of then it's just something you gotta *do* to get better at. That'll probably come along with some awkwardness and social fails etc but you'll get better at it each time. It's certainly a better use of your time than being spoon fed fantasies by scammers after your $$$.

I know cams are not your thing but I often have customers that want to practice various social or sexual skills (like dirty talk) while they build up confidence and skill in those areas. The reason this is different than a scam is that its an honest transaction. The person is paying for something that is clearly defined. There's no stringing anyone along. But there are lots of other people that can help you practice social skills for a fee too. Life coaches, therapists, etiquette coaches etc. You're a rocket engineer - don't be afraid to spend $$ on the areas you're weak on that you want to get better at.

Oh and the reason you didn't get shamed here is because you were willing to listen/take advice. I think you might actually be the first person I've seen post their story that actually did that. Most of them get defensive when we tell them the truth, and it turns into a thread of them desperately trying to prove to us that they're different. Most of us have been scammed in one way or another before. It sucks. I fell for so many scams when i started camming.

I think we all lost some social skills during the pandemic. For me though, I haven't dated in over seven years. A hard break up and my best friend's suicide left me not wanting to be close or vulnerable with anyone ever again. Only recently have I tried to meet people. I lost 50 lbs, started hair restoration, got invisalign - tried everything I could think of.

You're right though, I've avoided developing those social skills. I mean I haven't even spoken to a woman my age face to face in like six months and I'm not really that old either (late twenties). I hadn't considered practicing conversations in a low impact environment like cams. That might be worth a try. I actually tried to meet with a therapist a few weeks ago but I let anxiety get in the way. Maybe, I'll try again (insurance will cover that haha) thanks for telling me what I needed to hear. I really do appreciate you and everyone else who took the time to offer advice.

 

[Tarkin1021]

To be honest, I haven’t seen a lot of examples of guys getting scammers to give up trying and outright admit it’s a scam. Pretty interesting.

You must have done a good job convincing them you were definitely not falling for it, if they chose to admit it right away. Well done.

Glad it (sort of) worked out in your favor. And like others have said, your level-headed approach is a breath of fresh air. Thanks for that.

I was surprised as well. To be honest I don't really feel bad about it. Only someone truly desperate would go the lengths they did. For that I am sorry. Besides, talking to them was fun, it just wasn't real and I want something real

 

[inertvolcano]

Definitely go through with meeting that therapist. I had a rough patch after a long and abusive relationship a while ago where going to cam rooms kind of took over for me, because it was a "safe" way to meet women. Going to therapy helped me sort out that I was investing a lot of time and energy into a fantasy substitute instead of the real thing because I was afraid, and break down what my fears were and how to counter them.

It's great that you've spent time investing in yourself. Keep doing what you're doing, go to therapy, hit the gym if that wasn't a part of your weight loss plan. I've been where you are and it gets better, and if you focus on being happy with yourself it puts you in a much better position to meet someone to become romantically involved with. Desperation draws predators. When you have self respect and love yourself, you realize your value and what your time and your love is worth.

Good luck brother.

 

[Tarkin1021]

Definitely go through with meeting that therapist. I had a rough patch after a long and abusive relationship a while ago where going to cam rooms kind of took over for me, because it was a "safe" way to meet women. Going to therapy helped me sort out that I was investing a lot of time and energy into a fantasy substitute instead of the real thing because I was afraid, and break down what my fears were and how to counter them.

It's great that you've spent time investing in yourself. Keep doing what you're doing, go to therapy, hit the gym if that wasn't a part of your weight loss plan. I've been where you are and it gets better, and if you focus on being happy with yourself it puts you in a much better position to meet someone to become romantically involved with. Desperation draws predators. When you have self respect and love yourself, you realize your value and what your time and your love is worth.

Good luck brother.

Thanks! Maybe I should hit the gym. I'm only trying to lose another 15-20 lbs. My goal weight is 150-155 lbs. My progress has really slowed lately though. Thanks for sharing some of your story.

 

[InannahQoH]

Update:

I didn't just want to not reply (I hate that) I sent the scammer a message thanking them for the pleasant conversation. Then I explained my suspicions and implored them to try and build a better society wherever they're at. (I know I know) I won't be talking to them anymore.

I would also like to thank everyone who commented and for all the advice I got. I'm glad I took it. It was hard, but deep down, I always knew it was an illusion. I had fully expected that my post here would either be rejected or ignored or that if anyone did reply, that I would just be ridiculed and shamed for my own ignorance and foolishness. Thank you for your kindness and support. I'm truly grateful for the good people here.

Did you get a final outcome?
They were a cam model in Colombia, who picked somewhere in USA to set their location/vpn, etc to?

Did you ever do a vid call to know if was the girl you were typing to?

 

[Tarkin1021]

Did you get a final outcome?
They were a cam model in Colombia, who picked somewhere in USA to set their location/vpn, etc to?

Did you ever do a vid call to know if was the girl you were typing to?

Well yesterday they pretty much admitted it was a scam. Yet today they are sending me messages like nothing happened. I suppose though that the scammer would target the most vulnerable - and they would fall for it. I'm quite certain they don't live in my home state. I actually did do one camshow but I couldn't be certain if the model in the live show was the same person talking to me. In any case, I blocked them.

Even if were all true, I'm trying to get married and that definitely wasn't going to happen. Besides, a mormon and a cam-model?? Doesn't seem likely. I'm really curious about the VPN thing though. If they chose the location, why would they pick an obscure town in a sparsely populated state in the Western USA? How would they even know about it? I suspect I was targeted somehow and the location was chosen after. The first thing they said was their dad was retired USAF, which is who I work for too. Then my main picture is me in a suit with a $2500 hat, so I probably look like I have money. I'm not sure how they could of accessed my profile though.

 

[InannahQoH]

I'm really curious about the VPN thing though. If they chose the location, why would they pick an obscure town in a sparsely populated state in the Western USA? How would they even know about it? I suspect I was targeted somehow and the location was chosen after

There's phones & computers, and many different dating sites. so hard to answer your question.
And I'm not very familiar with dating sites.

But id assume, the sites match you up with people close to your location..
Not much point matching you up with someone 3000km away across the country..

And.. Colombians wouldn't use the sites to target low income Colombians that live next to them. (For income and security)
And would want to target USA $$'s

So VPN on. Pick a location from one of the ones offered by the VPN.
Then set the dating site address to that location.
Dating site will suggest people close to that point.

And with Colombia being low income, and mostly studio based.
It wouldn't surprise me if they paid someone to sit in the office and run that setup for the ~30 girls in the Studio.
And the staff handling that, might change daily..

Maybe why you got, a different personality the next day..

Yet today they are sending me messages like nothing happened

As attached, I'm in Australia, and I always set my location to USA by default.

 

[Tarkin1021]

There's phones & computers, and many different dating sites. so hard to answer your question.
And I'm not very familiar with dating sites.

But id assume, the sites match you up with people close to your location..
Not much point matching you up with someone 3000km away across the country..

And.. Colombians wouldn't use the sites to target low income Colombians that live next to them. (For income and security)
And would want to target USA $$'s

So VPN on. Pick a location from one of the ones offered by the VPN.
Then set the dating site address to that location.
Dating site will suggest people close to that point.

And with Colombia being low income, and mostly studio based.
It wouldn't surprise me if they paid someone to sit in the office and run that setup for the ~30 girls in the Studio.
And the staff handling that, might change daily..

Maybe why you got, a different personality the next day..



As attached, I'm in Australia, and I always set my location to USA by default.

And you just happened to choose SLC? If that is a common option that might explain it. I just can't help but be an engineer haha.

 

[InannahQoH]

And you just happened to choose SLC? If that is a common option that might explain it. I just can't help but be an engineer haha.

I just clicked a random one of the 16 USA options in the VPN i normally use.
To provide an example of how you can set the vpn to where you like.
But I can set the VPN to ~40 different countries.

With me in Australia I normally prefer to use a West Coast USA one, and usually use San Francisco.

 

[misterical]

Well yesterday they pretty much admitted it was a scam. Yet today they are sending me messages like nothing happened. I suppose though that the scammer would target the most vulnerable - and they would fall for it. I'm quite certain they don't live in my home state. I actually did do one camshow but I couldn't be certain if the model in the live show was the same person talking to me. In any case, I blocked them.

Even if were all true, I'm trying to get married and that definitely wasn't going to happen. Besides, a mormon and a cam-model?? Doesn't seem likely. I'm really curious about the VPN thing though. If they chose the location, why would they pick an obscure town in a sparsely populated state in the Western USA? How would they even know about it? I suspect I was targeted somehow and the location was chosen after. The first thing they said was their dad was retired USAF, which is who I work for too. Then my main picture is me in a suit with a $2500 hat, so I probably look like I have money. I'm not sure how they could of accessed my profile though.

I suspect that this is down to one of two things. Either "she" is basically handling so many different guys in this scam that she just lost track of who she was talking to (or forgot the conversation), or there's a team of people pretending to be this one individual and the person who confessed to you forgot to update the case notes afterwards.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Even if were all true, I'm trying to get married and that definitely wasn't going to happen. Besides, a mormon and a cam-model??

Are Gentiles in general not an option for Saints?

 

[bud9752]

I promise a world where you find someone who loves and respects you can and does exist.

 

[Tarkin1021]

Are Gentiles in general not an option for Saints?

We don't really think in terms of gentiles and saints, atleast I don't. We're all just people. Saints do like to marry within the faith because it makes things easier if you share the same values and beliefs - probably true for any belief system. Saints also believe that marriage can last forever if performed in a Temple - which requires church membership.


Long way to say that many prefer to marry within the faith and are generally encouraged to. However, lots of people don't and the majority of the Saints live outside the USA anyway so it isn't really practical - too few of us. I don't limit myself, I mean I wouldn't have fallen for the scam otherwise.

Are Gentiles in general not an option for Saints?

We can date and marry anyone we want to. Many prefer to marry within the faith because we believe marriages in the Temple can last forever and it just makes for an easier relationship if values and beliefs are shared.

The majority of church members live outside the USA though and it's often not practical to only date and marry within - too few of us. I myself don't feel restricted. I mean I wouldn't have fallen for the scam otherwise. Sorry, that was a long way to say that yes, I would date a non-member. I mean I was trying to "date" this cam model before I realized it was a scam.

PS. We don't really think in terms of saints and gentiles. We're all just people.