Is it a scam? Or possible? Unlikely?

[gallett]

If you feel it is legit (and it seems you do, if you are already studying her language), the only way to find out for sure is to proceed. Just mitigate your risks as much as possible. Others here could give a better guess on the odds that a circumstance like this will end with you and the woman living happily ever after in a few years, but even if the odds are not high, it doesn't mean that these things don't sometimes work out.

But it seems to me that at some level, you have some doubts. (If you didn't, why would you ask?) The fact that you have those doubts, it's good. Remember those doubts when you are making decisions. Don't let the little brain make all the decisions for the big brain.

Thanks for the good advice

 

[gallett]

It does happen. I know several couples that met on camming sites, but as I stated before couples were in mid-late 20s with little or no age gap, and one couple I know is in their 50s but also little age gap. Because relationships of people from different cultures, backgrounds, different language is already challenging… add to it age gap and financial power imbalance is making relationships very, very difficult and almost not sustainable long term.

Would your local early 20s hot girls hang out with you? Be honest with yourself, realistically, without expectation of any financial support? What do You have in common with a college kids? (and depending how early is her 20s… she might be just few years out of high school).

In this stories It always baffles me how old dudes acting like victims. As if they so innocent, pure souls having their hearts broken by cruel 20 year olds lol When in reality you are prey on someone way younger and poorer and only worried if it’s gonna kick you in the ass eventually.

And If you’ve been married, do you have any children? Is the girl aware you have children and ex wife?

What do you think you can be risking really?
Just book yourself a hotel room in reputable place in downtown, meet her in public place, don’t rush things, use condom if sex happens, let trusted friends know where you going and let them see your location at all times. Just regular precautions when meeting new person or online dating precautions.

It does happen. I know several couples that met on camming sites, but as I stated before couples were in mid-late 20s with little or no age gap, and one couple I know is in their 50s but also little age gap. Because relationships of people from different cultures, backgrounds, different language is already challenging… add to it age gap and financial power imbalance is making relationships very, very difficult and almost not sustainable long term.

Would your local early 20s hot girls hang out with you? Be honest with yourself, realistically, without expectation of any financial support? What do You have in common with a college kids? (and depending how early is her 20s… she might be just few years out of high school).

In this stories It always baffles me how old dudes acting like victims. As if they so innocent, pure souls having their hearts broken by cruel 20 year olds lol When in reality you are prey on someone way younger and poorer and only worried if it’s gonna kick you in the ass eventually.

And If you’ve been married, do you have any children? Is the girl aware you have children and ex wife?

What do you think you can be risking really?
Just book yourself a hotel room in reputable place in downtown, meet her in public place, don’t rush things, use condom if sex happens, let trusted friends know where you going and let them see your location at all times. Just regular precautions when meeting new person or online dating precautions.

I get your point about age (although i wouldnt personally call a 37 year old compared to a 24 year old massively old - but each to their own). True, hot 20 year olds don't normally throw themselves at 37 year olds... but plenty of not so hot 25 year olds do, and a much larger number of hot 29 year olds certainly do. Thats not me trying to be arrogant, thats just a reality many men notice in their mid-30s. Some women find successful, stable guys in their 30s attractive... just like some hot 20 something year old guys find older women very attractive...its just the way it works - each to their own... of course we could go into unfair power dynamics in the world, but that is unfortunately the world we live in - we see it with 70 year old western guys in thailand and yes 50 year old western women in egypt... it also happens in normal dating - so we can make assumptions that every younger women who dates an older man only does it for his money - but is this really any different from a women of the same age going for a guy with the better car or the better career? Its often how the world works. Yet ive seen peniless guys dating women 15 years younger and rich young guys unable to secure a date. So there is no rule on this.

Personally i would happily date a women in her late 40s if i "clicked" with her, and i regularly date women who are both 10 years older and 10 years younger than myself.

But yes, i am no victim. But i am addressing the very real situation of trust which im afraid is due to the particular industry we are discussing... i do think that 90% of guys and 90% of cam girls want a genuinely decent, respectful, transactional relationship... the issue here is when one attempts to (through accident in this case, perhaps intentionally in others) transcend this into the personal/emotional sphere, there are questions of legitimacy to be asked. As you said, i dont fear this and im certainly not worried about personal safety in the country im discussing (i wont mention the country but its just like i wouldnt worry in ukraine, ive been there many times for work before todays awful situation). But i think guys should perhaps be worried in a place like columbia (maybe thats just an incorrect assumption
- but im just taking this from reading forums here). Thanks for the points you made though and of course, i would certainly take normal precautions like a public place.

 

[bamdicted]

Concerning your helping her scrub the internet @noiett offers a service: https://breez.dev/es/
He only has a limited number of spots open, but you could try and contact him.

 

[Raven_Rogue]

Ok, i don't even know where to start... but here is the story anyway. So as a client i never used camming sites before - not that i'm against them or anything, just never felt the need as regularly meet women IRL. Anyway, so i was bored away on a business trip away from my most recent partner about 5 months ago, and i found myself viewing a few cam sites at 1am as you do (honestly first time i've ever explored this). Then i saw this women who was/is literally my perfect type - never met in real life. Young early 20s (i'm in my late 30s). Couldn't resist and set up a brief private and a chat. Then asked her if I could see her again on the site and when she would be online, but as chance would have it she was quitting the studio that week - but gave me her contact detail and said we could set up something informally if i ever wanted as she was going to set up her own private camming accounts... so far, obvious alarm bells ringing... didn't think i'd risk off of a site. a few weeks later - i thought stuff it and contacted her anyway. Started with just business chat, but before long flirting became normal chat and now we have spoken (quite literally) around 50 - 500 messages per day, every day for the last 6 months (with at least a couple of normal non-sexual video chats for 2-4 hours per time per week - all off site). We are also intimate sometimes, but its normally her who instigates it and i dont give her money. Since then, she has quit camming, started a new career and we regularly video chat... i dont think ive ever directly paid for a service, but i do get her gifts from time to time, and helped her with her rent for a month when she quit camming (not a big deal for me, rent where she is is relatively cheap and im relatively rich). But she has never asked for a thing. We also share every part of our lives, her boyfriend ups and downs, now ex. Same with my girlfriends / ex-girlfriends, etc. We talk about everything and anything. She talks to me in front of her friends, even her family (her friends and family dont know about her camming background and we always joke we met on a langauge app). Now she says she wants me to travel to the other side of the world to meet in person - or she wants me to help her fly to somewhere else nicer where we can meet. I really care about her now and she says she cares about me - but its all a bit too good to be true.



So my questions are: 1) has anybody heard of this happening before? Im paranoid im living an illusion, i keep thinking i must be being scammed somehow, and yet everything checks out 100% correct. I know her id, her real address, her public and private social media... her private details she shares everything with me. I even used one of my online accounts to store some of her cam payments because she had an issue with payment verification in her country (before she quit the job).

So if there is a scam, i have no idea where it would be when a model gives ME money...

2) what am i missing? This cant happen can it? I can understand clients imagining relationships with models... but does it ever happen the other way around (although again, i only ever paid her once on a site when we first met - all the other times i saw her on a site was only for a few minutes just to play annoy her with a joke or two in her chat room whilst she was working - i would then arrange to meet over sms off site later). Like i said, ive never actually directly paid her for any thing. I just give her gifts from time to time (last time being quite awhile ago)

3) im trying to help remove all the past images/video of her on google - any tips of how to do this now she has finished in the industry?

Any advice from models or clients who know this industry would help a lot... thanks

IMO, i would just stay friends and keep it online.I think you have got yourself caught up in a fantasy of "what if" because you met this lady in circumstances you are not used to and it has excited your brain because it was "different".
You say you are a well off guy and have no problems dating IRL, i would continue doing that.It's the much easier option.
If the online friendshop fizzles out, don't stress it and put it down to experience.
Anyway, i'm off to the winchester pub for a nice, cold pint.....

 

[Raven_Rogue]

IMO, i would just stay friends and keep it online.I think you have got yourself caught up in a fantasy of "what if" because you met this lady in circumstances you are not used to and it has excited your brain because it was "different".
You say you are a well off guy and have no problems dating IRL, i would continue doing that.It's the much easier option.
If the online friendshop fizzles out, don't stress it and put it down to experience.
Anyway, i'm off to the winchester pub for a nice, cold pint.....

View attachment 97317

*friendship* NOT *friendshop* Damn you, auto correct

 

[yummybrownfox]

You told EasternPromis to not make assumptions, yet you posted this earlier…

Are all cam girls (or even ex-cam girls) automatically scamming?

Um…no. And yikes. Joining a cam model forum suggesting that we are all scammers, just because you were in over your head with some other model, is pretty tacky and rude.

 

[Raven_Rogue]

You told EasternPromis to not make assumptions, yet you posted this earlier…



Um…no. And yikes. Joining a cam model forum suggesting that we are all scammers, just because you were in over your head with some other model, is pretty tacky and rude.

Ohhhh fucking hell.Well spotted @yummybrownfox i didn't catch that when i saw his post

 

[gallett]

You told EasternPromis to not make assumptions, yet you posted this earlier…



Um…no. And yikes. Joining a cam model forum suggesting that we are all scammers, just because you were in over your head with some other model, is pretty tacky and rude.

Im sorry but you are taking that out of context. I was actually reacting to the automatic "oh it must be a scam" that was being implied by that specific reply. I actually meant it in the opposite way - i was quite annoyed that the base assumption here was that "of course its a scam" especially because this is a cam girl forum... - hence the complete sentance even said in an exasperated way
"Are all cam girls (or even ex-cam girls) automatically scamming? Or cant this really exist?"

On reflection, i should have made it more obvious that i was almost being sarcastic. Which never comes off well in forums with multiple lingusitic backgrounds.

You will see in subsequent posts ive made it pretty clear that i think 90% of cam girls and clients are equally decent in their intentions.

Appologies if it didnt come off as such... i certainly wasnt making assumptions - i actually meant the opposite

 

[EasternPromis]

I get your point about age (although i wouldnt personally call a 37 year old compared to a 24 year old massively old - but each to their own). True, hot 20 year olds don't normally throw themselves at 37 year olds... but plenty of not so hot 25 year olds do, and a much larger number of hot 29 year olds certainly do. Thats not me trying to be arrogant, thats just a reality many men notice in their mid-30s. Some women find successful, stable guys in their 30s attractive... just like some hot 20 something year old guys find older women very attractive...its just the way it works - each to their own... of course we could go into unfair power dynamics in the world, but that is unfortunately the world we live in - we see it with 70 year old western guys in thailand and yes 50 year old western women in egypt... it also happens in normal dating - so we can make assumptions that every younger women who dates an older man only does it for his money - but is this really any different from a women of the same age going for a guy with the better car or the better career? Its often how the world works.

What you’ve described is mostly a very transactional relationships. I mean, you seem very ok with it, as long as you’re in position of power in this story aka “rich older man” with hot poor girl, because the girl needs to bend to please you, not vice versa lol

The only things you say about this girl is that she’s Really your type, that’s she’s pretty stupid (to the point she needs technology help of someone from far abroad and this requires to give passport- what? Lol Is she banned on Google and YouTube? Lol) and that she seems naive. That’s pretty predatory…

IMO in this story it’s irrelevant that once upon a time she was cam girl and you saw her on the site. The real question here is why you, allegedly rich divorced man in late 30s preying on early 20s dummy girl from a poor country if your local dating life is thriving.

 

[Raven_Rogue]

What you’ve described is mostly a very transactional relationships. I mean, you seem very ok with it, as long as you’re in position of power in this story aka “rich older man” with hot poor girl, because the girl needs to bend to please you, not vice versa lol

The only things you say about this girl is that she’s Really your type, that’s she’s pretty stupid (to the point she needs technology help of someone from far abroad and this requires to give passport- what? Lol Is she banned on Google and YouTube? Lol) and that she seems naive. That’s pretty predatory…

IMO in this story it’s irrelevant that once upon a time she was cam girl and you saw her on the site. The real question here is why you, allegedly rich divorced man in late 30s preying on early 20s dummy girl from a poor country if your local dating life is thriving.

 

[gallett]

What you’ve described is mostly a very transactional relationships. I mean, you seem very ok with it, as long as you’re in position of power in this story aka “rich older man” with hot poor girl, because the girl needs to bend to please you, not vice versa lol

The only things you say about this girl is that she’s Really your type, that’s she’s pretty stupid (to the point she needs technology help of someone from far abroad and this requires to give passport- what? Lol Is she banned on Google and YouTube? Lol) and that she seems naive. That’s pretty predatory…

IMO in this story it’s irrelevant that once upon a time she was cam girl and you saw her on the site. The real question here is why you, allegedly rich divorced man in late 30s preying on early 20s dummy girl from a poor country if your local dating life is thriving.

Oh dear, i say again, i am sorry your experience has taught you to see the world in such binary terms. I have not gone into detail over the depth of the relationship because why would i do that on an internet forum when the question was about examples of other peoples experiences, not just about my own.

I can see that in your binary world, guys over 30 are somehow predatory no matter what their nature and women under 25 are innocent victims of them regardless of the situation... unless of course i had said the opposite and said how much i adored some women who was obviously completely ripping me off - in which case you would be defending the girl and calling me a fool... so either a fool or a predator no matter what i say.

Im afraid the truth is the world is often more complicated than that and i would hope i am neither. She may sometimes seem trusting but she is no dummy. Im a computer programmer by trade and the questions were often complex issues. The id is a completely different thing - sufice to say im not going into that here.

Regarding the, so say, unequal power in the relationship, again, i have never ever asked for a thing. Ive helped her out when she needed it with zero expectations and i openly said that... it was a long time before something actually developed. You are suggesting it is unequal, but she has the power to pick and choose men locally and online. She could easily have 20 other guys in the same situation and how would i know? But also, thats completely her right to do so and i have said as such. Hence the whole discussion of whether these things could ever develop.

What i will say is that sometimes friendships form in peculiar circumstances and hence the question on here was about any existing examples. The advice has been sound and i have thanked people for it.

 

[misterical]

Thats not me trying to be arrogant

For a man that's trying not to be arrogant, you don't half spend a lot of time mentioning how rich and successful you are.

But i am addressing the very real situation of trust which im afraid is due to the particular industry we are discussing

I thought she was no longer in the industry? Even then, coming on a forum for cam models and vaguely suggesting that scamming is commonplace (it isn't - most men scam themselves from what I can see here) is a little insulting.

But i think guys should perhaps be worried in a place like columbia (maybe thats just an incorrect assumption.

It's both an incorrect spelling and an overly simplistic assumption. Like anywhere, Colombia has good and bad places.

I can see that in your binary world, guys over 30 are somehow predatory no matter what their nature and women under 25 are innocent victims of them regardless of the situation... unless of course i had said the opposite and said how much i adored some women who was obviously completely ripping me off - in which case you would be defending the girl and calling me a fool... so either a fool or a predator no matter what i say.

Calm down. Most of the guys who come on here posting stories like you may not be predators, but most are somewhat deluded. It's perfectly reasonable for someone to question your intentions. I get the impression that you didn't want anyone here to question you, only answer you. Preferably by telling you that it is in fact real.

 

[EasternPromis]

I can see that in your binary world, guys over 30 are somehow predatory no matter what their nature and women under 25 are innocent victims of them regardless of the situation...

Dear, my husband is 35 year old I know some awesome men in their 30s and 40s and 50s and exactly this helps me to see the difference and when men being not decent or delusional or creepy.

I question a lot in your story.

Oh dear, i say again, i am sorry your experience has taught you to see the world in such binary terms.

Why are you so sorry about my “experiences”? Lol And didn’t you come here to hear about other’s experiences on the matter? Or were you expecting models and members from here have some kind of proven scientific statistic on how successful cam girl/member relationships can be? Lol

You just don’t like my “experiences” for some reason

 

[Lilly_____]

Oh dear, i say again, i am sorry your experience has taught you to see the world in such binary terms. I have not gone into detail over the depth of the relationship because why would i do that on an internet forum when the question was about examples of other peoples experiences, not just about my own.

I can see that in your binary world, guys over 30 are somehow predatory no matter what their nature and women under 25 are innocent victims of them regardless of the situation... unless of course i had said the opposite and said how much i adored some women who was obviously completely ripping me off - in which case you would be defending the girl and calling me a fool... so either a fool or a predator no matter what i say.

Im afraid the truth is the world is often more complicated than that and i would hope i am neither. She may sometimes seem trusting but she is no dummy. Im a computer programmer by trade and the questions were often complex issues. The id is a completely different thing - sufice to say im not going into that here.

Regarding the, so say, unequal power in the relationship, again, i have never ever asked for a thing. Ive helped her out when she needed it with zero expectations and i openly said that... it was a long time before something actually developed. You are suggesting it is unequal, but she has the power to pick and choose men locally and online. She could easily have 20 other guys in the same situation and how would i know? But also, thats completely her right to do so and i have said as such. Hence the whole discussion of whether these things could ever develop.

What i will say is that sometimes friendships form in peculiar circumstances and hence the question on here was about any existing examples. The advice has been sound and i have thanked people for it.

"Dear". LMAO the audacity of coming here for advice and being condescending to the models

You just exemplified to us how you really feel about women. Dismissive of everything that has been said to you, belittling a grown ass woman's very clear and objective thoughts on the matter.

There's nothing binary about EsternPromis' line of thought, "dear".

You refuse to admit but you're just one of the hundreds of men who come here asking "is this real" and we say "well probably not" and you go like

"but what if it is"
"yeah but most likely not"
"but you see, it has to be. because ..."

Then why did you fucking ask?

You're 100% like every other "In love with a cam model" guy. Plus you're condescending as fuck. I hope this gal drains you wallet dry.

 

[Raven_Rogue]

"Dear". LMAO the audacity of coming here for advice and being condescending to the models

You just exemplified to us how you really feel about women. Dismissive of everything that has been said to you, belittling a grown ass woman's very clear and objective thoughts on the matter.

There's nothing binary about EsternPromis' line of thought, "dear".

You refuse to admit but you're just one of the hundreds of men who come here asking "is this real" and we say "well probably not" and you go like

"but what if it is"
"yeah but most likely not"
"but you see, it has to be. because ..."

Then why did you fucking ask?

You're 100% like every other "In love with a cam model" guy. Plus you're condescending as fuck. I hope this gal drains you wallet dry.

 

[Maxi]

To be fair… ‘oh dear’ in British English means like: ‘oh no’. I’m not sure that really help this man’s cause, though.

I think this thread needs an ending because he’s going around circles.

OP: I think you have what you need - there have been anecdotes here suggesting that a relationship between a cam model and a member has happened in the past, however it isn’t very common, and unlikely.

Only you and your friend can create a future between you both. It’s no different than any other beginning of a relationship - whether you meet on Tinder, Match.com, Bumble; other than your friend is seemingly thousands of miles away. Either go for it or don’t.

 

[bud9752]

 

[mika_kedi]

I didn't read the OP or any post in the thread, just wanted to ask if we're talking about food already or not yet? Lmk when it's food please.

 

[Ich Bin]

I didn't read the OP or any post in the thread, just wanted to ask if we're talking about food already or not yet? Lmk when it's food please.

I've been thinking the same thing! It's time for Food Talk!

 

[Vixxen81]

Ha I almost posted about food a few hours ago.

So I had chicken wings for my bday dinner because I'm not eating two-year-old crab legs.

What is your favorite birthday meal?

 

[Ich Bin]

Ha I almost posted about food a few hours ago.

So I had chicken wings for my bday dinner because I'm not eating two-year-old crab legs.

What is your favorite birthday meal?

I'm going to have to give thought about my favorite birthday meal.
Because everytime I see Vixxen81's name, I just immediately think about your famous -

Chicken Teriyaki with Broccoli over White Rice

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Scam may be the wrong word here. This is a mutually beneficial relationship. You send her gifts and money and she gives you the GFE you enjoy. GFE doesn’t mean it’s fake, it’s entirely possible to develop a genuine affection and shared interests. But there is always the $$$. You’re her sugar daddy.

If you’re unsure if this is correct stop all gifts and payments for a long period (months) and see what happens.

 

[Ozzie_]

"Dear". LMAO the audacity of coming here for advice and being condescending to the models

You just exemplified to us how you really feel about women. Dismissive of everything that has been said to you, belittling a grown ass woman's very clear and objective thoughts on the matter.

I cannot speak to the OP of course, but "oh dear" in English is not usually used to call someone "dear" (affectionately or condescendingly) .

It is the equivalent of "oh god", "Oh my lord", "oh fuck/shit/damn", "oh no", "oh wow" etc.

Now if he had said "Oh my dear girl..." then yes, 100% condescending

 

[Lilly_____]

I cannot speak to the OP of course, but "oh dear" in English is not usually used to call someone "dear" (affectionately or condescendingly) .

It is the equivalent of "oh god", "Oh my lord", "oh fuck/shit/damn", "oh no", "oh wow" etc.

Now if he had said "Oh my dear girl..." then yes, 100% condescending

I understand that meaning as well but that's not how I read it

But I don't think it really matters as the rest of the message is still very very much condescending, dear or no dear.

 

[MarieElise]

I’ve had steak for my birthday the last 2 years. My partner cooks it perfectly for me and does whatever veggies I request. So I like Greek salad w cucumber, feta, and Kalamata olives. Than usually asparagus. A lot of times I don’t need a carb on the side, but since we have kids we’ll do rice and beans too. Either rice and beans or spaghetti are the most popular carb sides in my house.

There is only one cut of steak I really enjoy; petite sirloin. So always that. I’m a weirdo.

 

[Lilly_____]

Ha I almost posted about food a few hours ago.

So I had chicken wings for my bday dinner because I'm not eating two-year-old crab legs.

What is your favorite birthday meal?

I'm not one to celebrate much, but I have this thing about going to Outback steakhouse on my birthday. They have these really spicy shrimps with cheese sauce and nachos and I love to have those and margaritas.

Eta, I suppose this is an international restaurant chain but I'm not really sure. It's really popular around here and very different from what Brazilian steakhouses are like. I love it.

 

[SAD^^EYES]

All I can say is that paranoia is not good, from your story I see no risk for scam whatsoever. Just go for it, live your life, create memories. Worst case scenario, things won't work, so what? Life goes on...

 

[MarieElise]

All I can say is arrogance, naivity and refusal to listen to those more knowledgeable and experienced than yourself, are not good. I say just go for it too though. Fools get what they deserve, I doubt anyone cares at this point

​

I can see that in your binary world, guys over 30 are somehow predatory no matter what their nature and women under 25 are innocent victims of them regardless of the situation...

Gross, someone more knowledgeable and experienced gave you the truth and you try to twist it around on her Definitely go for it!! You deserve it all.

ETA; Also just saying it's losing arguement for dummies 101 here to fall back on the old "you're jaded I'm sorry you don't understand" "or you're a sex worker, you've had bad experiences that lead you to see the world skewed" trope. Like come up with something new and more intelligent, it's such a dull fallback, that every self-deluded, egotistical dumbass uses to try and win arguments here. At least try something a little more creative, for the love of my brain cells already!

 

[AudriTwo]

Ah yea! Derailing trash thread for food discussion. OP isnt interested in hearing our perspectives, obviously.

Its my husband's birthday today and i have homemade tiramisu cake for him. His favorite Not my home. Someone else's home made it.

It's hilarious. Our family (as in us and his parents) can never make a timely decision when and what to eat. With cake however everyone was in full agreeance. We eat it in an hour.

 

[Maxi]

So many birthdays this week!! Here’s the meatball sandwich that I made today



ETA: I had half of it and almost fell asleep.