No, Mila, it is exactly what you said. You said my words betray me, which means you have a problem with my WORDS.
I am giving you every opportunity in this thread to make me a better human being. But you have no interest in me changing or improving. You simply want a platform to go off on me.
You want to believe that because I have poor word choices that this is some smoking gun into my personality and that I cannot possibly be changed, but that is wrong.
There are several reasons why people are not hurrying forward to change or improve you, helping you to become a better human being. Language is one thing, but that isn't the only thing that Mila or any of the other people are creeped out by. Yes, language gives insight into how people think, how they feel, how they view the world. That is why it is so powerful, and so useful. But changing the words you use will not change the nature of your thoughts or the actions that you take and the way they come across on the board. This goes beyond poor word choice - it is the nature of your actions which many find so unsettling.
1. The entire system of finding a newer or less successful girl to mold and train and improve. One of your previous statements seemed to indicate bewilderment that more people don't do the same... Or at least, imply that you are extra kind for stepping forward to find these girls & help them. Most people don't look at other models and immediately think that they need help. In my mind, doing so would be infantalizing these women, and that's more than a little bit insulting. We see them as women who are in charge of their own lives & their own business, who have all of the tools at their disposal, should they choose to do so. It isn't our business, to assume that they need help, or to assume that they need fixed or improved. Most people look at models as fun, entertaining humans who know what they are doing, or are adult enough to run their business the way they want to, without need of a manager or extrahelpfulfriend to control their show & improve their lives FOR them.
You say that they ask for help - and that might be right. But from all of your previous statements, it genuinely seems like you SEARCH for the perfect girl who would ask for help in the first place... And that's eerie on its own. Searching for the perfect target who will ask for help, who will allow you to make changes and experiment on her business, who will allow you to interview their regulars about how your girl can improve her show. It doesn't seem helpful or nice. It feels an awwwwwful lot like digital pimping, y'know? Put everything together, and that is how predators behave, and that is why so many girls are unsettled. If you were to look up predatory grooming behavior, almost everything fits. A) Find the perfect, vulnerable target. B) Gain information about them & gain their trust. D) Fill a need in their lives. E) Sexualize the relationship & get what you want. F) Control the target to continue getting what you want, as if the victims are merely toys or objects.
There is white-knighting, and there is legit, grooming behavior that comes across as predatory & unsettling. No matter what you say to explain your reasons behind doing so, your actions come across as very troubling to almost every model on this forum, and probably more than a few members. Which is why your words over the past few months (suggesting girls are toys, objects, projects) come across as EXTRA alarming, reinforcing the thoughts behind the actions. But even if you changed your language, it would not change the disconcerting actions behind it. No matter how you might choose to reason away or defend your actions, they will still look very troubling & make models feel uneasy.
2. Finding girls who are not as successful and who may be desperate enough to trade advice for attention instead of money... That is exploitation. You are not giving them what they deserve (money) - you are seeking out women who are not very popular, who are more receptive and moldable to become the model you desire. You are taking advantage of those who are less successful, under the guise of helping. If you truly wished to help, you would give them money. Tokens increase their camscore or their placements, which allow more people to find them, which is truly the best way to help. Instead, you comb the forums for free information, specifically seek out those who are not at an advantage, and trade free-knowledge for time & attention & research material, instead of paying for her time. And while you think it's fair in your heart, from the outside, it only looks exploitative & manipulative. Again, exploiting vulnerable girls under the guise of help comes across as predatory, not helpful or empathetic. I think every new girl has had a random dude step forward and ask for free Skype in exchange for general advice - and some are naive or desperate enough to fall for it. It's manipulation, taking advantage of those who might be desperate for help, who perhaps lack the confidence to believe they can succeed by themselves. It's super duper duper common, and it's never fun to see someone defend it as a serial practice.
3. Sex workers also typically don't appreciate non-sex workers stepping forward to make money off of the knowledge, experience, and backs of sex-workers, ESPECIALLY off of the backs of SWers who might be more vulnerable. It leaves a bad taste in a lot of mouths. There are very, very, very few non-sex workers who can profit - and they usually provide a MASSIVE service that improves a LOT of lives. Everyone else just feels parasitic, no matter the intentions. And we've had worlds of parasites seeking to profit off of us over the ceeeenturies - you're not going to see a lot of people rush forward to support or improve the game of someone else seeking to do the same. ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY when combined with reasons 1 & 2. When someone seeks to profit off of sex-workers while displaying predatory, grooming behavior - you're not going to find a lot of helpfulness or support.
Honestly, the only thing that I can suggest to become a better human being is to stop trying to "help" these girls the way you have been. Stop trying to experiment with their shows. Stop giving them advice. Stop trying to get their time & attention without money. Stop trying to fix them or their business or their lives. Be a normal member who finds a girl he likes & supports them with money, viewing them as human beings instead of tools or projects to be improved. That is legit the only advice that any of us can give you.
