In loved (maybe) with a cam girl

[Carlm85]

Hi all,

I am new on this site and I’ve wanted open this topic to find some advise and opinion by users and models about my situation.

I will be really long but I want to share my real and detailed story.



In September I found a new model on a cam site that I’ve liked so much and we started to talk a lot every day! I was one of the first “fidelity user” of her and so we talked a lot also cause she hadn’t a lot of viewers and she was happy for my companionship.

We have continued in that way for a lot of time and we did also many private show.

Anyway our relationship was only as a client-model.

So one day I wanted to do a private also showing me (cam2cam) but I’m a skype/snapchat fun and I wanted it, but she can’t cause she’s an employee of a studio that forbids it.

Then we did cam2cam on that site (I didn’t show my face for privacy) and continuing to do it for many times.

Talking and talking I continued to ask her for a private contact cause I wanted to help sending money privately so she could earn more then in the studio (that take her a big percentage) and I could save money.

I always sended my Snapchat ID to her, hoping one day she could add me. And finally one day I opened my Snapchat and found a message from her.

Since that day we started talk a lot and I showed my face to her for trust me. I did it for save money for private but in realty we never did a sex call!

Only we talked about our life and she showed me her difficult situation and that she wanted to try work alone for earn more.

I helped her a lot cause i always sent money and she didn’t want it cause she started considering me as a friend.

She told me that she liked to talk with me and I am always ready listen to her and her problems.

One day in the site I see her really sad so we started there a private show (no sex) and she started to cry cause she was pressed for her routine and job.

I charged my card and stay there about an hour to let her cry and rest.

She appreciated a lot my attitude and after work wrote me many thanks on Snapchat and she was displeasure that we don’t live in the same city although she specify me she don’t want relationship but consider me as a nice friend and asked me if i was able to meet together. After that we continuing chat a lot but i really think I’m falling in love with her! I like her a lot and i really wanted to meet!

But........I am not alone in my life (I know you are thinking I’m a bad person) and i didn’t told her about my real life and my relationship.

So I’m thinking a lot to her in these months and what I want to do about my life.

I would like to meet with her (she agree) but I’m afraid about to tell my real identity cause she could leave our friendship or could be a scammer (I don’t think really) and ruin my actual life.

Some days ago I did a fake account and contacted her on the site and started to chat as an unknown people. And she told me that she is falling in love with a man knew on cam but.....I’m not me cause the description (age and place) isn’t mine.

Now I’m really sad for it and I don’t know what to do. Although she told me that this man doesn’t love her...

I really want to meet with her but I already know that she love another man. And there’s also the problem of my privacy. I couldn’t hide my real situation if we will meet and that I’m not single.



So i wanted know from you what do you think about my situation and what I could do.

To model: have you ever met with a user? Is possible that she could fall in love with me one day on the future?

To users: have you ever fall in love with a cam girl?



Thanks for your answer!

 

[MarlieJane]

Damn she's good

 

[melanieoncam]

Personally I never pretend to like someone but there are a lot of cam hosts who do and certain studios train their employees to lie and pretend this way.

Most of the time that's what you are dealing with.

Completely stop spending and see what happens. (I am pretty sure I know what you will find out).

With that said, these things annoy me to no end and make my job so much more difficult. I'm so tired of explaining I'm there for companionship, fun and sexual release and have no interest in meeting.

Besides the fact because of new laws regulating adult sites you could make her lose her job if the cam site finds out you are talking about meeting in person. I'm not risking my job for anyone.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

But........I am not alone in my life (I know you are thinking I’m a bad person) and i didn’t told her about my real life and my relationship.

So I’m thinking a lot to her in these months and what I want to do about my life.

I would like to meet with her (she agree) but I’m afraid about to tell my real identity cause she could leave our friendship or could be a scammer (I don’t think really) and ruin my actual life.

Let's focus on this. How much is your "real life" worth to you? It sounds like you are not in an open relationship, and that your SO doesn't know anything about this. So, what if you get caught in a relationship whether virtual or in person? I know many women who feel that any emotional attachment to another woman is cheating and we know where that leads.

Is a fantasy worth risking your personal life (relationship/family, job, financial situation, etc) for?

If not, just let her know that you need step away from all of it and no longer communicate with her. If it is, you can try and sneak around or introduce the idea of a third member to your current relationship. However, I have a feeling you'll find out that your SO will have nothing to do with it. So, if you decide to pursue the model, end your current relationship.

 

[Danigirl]

What can you do? Not use cam sites as dating sites.

 

[NotYou]

Let's focus on this. How much is your "real life" worth to you? It sounds like you are not in an open relationship, and that your SO doesn't know anything about this. So, what if you get caught in a relationship whether virtual or in person? I know many women who feel that any emotional attachment to another woman is cheating and we know where that leads.

Is a fantasy worth risking your personal life (relationship/family, job, financial situation, etc) for?

If not, just let her know that you need step away from all of it and no longer communicate with her. If it is, you can try and sneak around or introduce the idea of a third member to your current relationship. However, I have a feeling you'll find out that your SO will have nothing to do with it. So, if you decide to pursue the model, end your current relationship.

This.
Furthermore, what IS your current relationship? Serious girlfriend? Wife? Do you have a family (kids)? Regardless of the status (g/f or wife), if you're seeking out cam models, something is wrong there and needs to either try and be resolved, or you need to really think "ok it isn't working in my real-life relationship" and step away, and that is regardless of whether you're going to leave your current SO for this model.

But onto the model herself
1) You have created a fake account to question her thoughts, opinions, and emotions, this shows a big trust barrier and I think it answers your question and you should not risk your real-world relationship for this,
2) Like said above, stop the spending and see what happens. This will show her true colours and if she is still the same with you and wants to talk the same way and personally via Snapchat and whatever else, ten fantastic, but give it a real amount of time for her to show those colours, not just a few days. She can easily say to herself "he will give in after a few days" and so she will still act all happy and in love and blah blah. Cut her off for weeks or months and see how things go.
3) when she calls you on snap, is she at work all of the time or is she ever at home or elsewhere? If she is always at work, I have a sneaking suspicion the account is probably known and created by the studio, especially if you're a whale tipper (or at least a whale spender to her).

 

[Nigerian Prince]

Whether you love each other or not, the chance of it working out is practically 0%. I mean you could go all the way there just to be with her, only to find out a week later you don't like her.

 

[MarieElise]

Idk if I am understanding you correctly.

Are you saying that if she were into you (the model) and genuine, that you would leave who you are with for her? But if she isn't, you don't wanna ruin what you got?

If that's what you are saying, I would consider that you could be using this model as a crutch. Regardless of the model, I think it's the best and most honorable to deal with your true feelings for the person who you are with.

I have never met with a cam viewer, or seriously considered it. When I was single, I lighty considered it a few times, in a few select situations. Very lightly, as like a fantasy.

If I fell in love with a dude, and then found out he was in another relationship when I first met him, and was hiding that, I would not be impressed. I would immediately lose all trust in him. Same if I found out a dude used me as a reason to end a relationship, he would not have otherwise ended. I would lose all respect. Then I would immediately get really scared of what I had gotten into, and try to escape, before it was too late.

I think it's easy to fall "in love' with a fantasy. But I also think that fantasies, are usually just that... a fantasy. Something fun to escape to, once in a while, for entertainment and relaxation purposes only.

I have a thing like that about Gordon Ramsay. But I wouldn't actually go meet him. Then I would have to get to know who he really is. That would be awkward, and would suck for everyone involved.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Regardless of the status (g/f or wife), if you're seeking out cam models, something is wrong there and needs to either try and be resolved

Not necessarily. It's completely possible to be in a healthy relationship and watch cam models as stimulation during masturbation, or to fulfill a fetish the partner isn't comfortable with. But people in that situation are more likely to see it as a business transaction or a friendship, rather than falling for the model.

 

[AudriTwo]

You gettin' hustled my dude. That is my opinion. And to not repeat myself since I literally said something about this yesterday.

Camming is a first and foremost a job. We are all selling fantasies and orgasms. Some like to sell the whole girlfriend experience without you knowing it. Remember all the beautiful women are hustling, and to have fun.

--

To model: have you ever met with a user? Is possible that she could fall in love with me one day on the future?

i feel like you are wanting us to answer this question for confirmation bias.

 

[Mila_]

I think you are trash and deserve the scam you are getting. I hope you go meet her, she finds out about your wife and blackmails you for years to come until one day your wife finds out and leaves your sorry ass.

 

[Lady_Sha]

I don't like this at all. Long story short: nope.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Is possible that she could fall in love with me one day on the future?

Delete this idea from your mind.

 

[JGenius]

As a lot of people have said here think about your real life first.
Love for camgirl is more about idealisation and fantasy than true love.
I saw you talked about money, just research here the thread about a guy named livinginmyth (i think the post was named Am I being gullible), his story sounds crazy but it's the best example about what can happen when you make confusion between camsite and dating site

 

[melezouriou]

So i wanted know from you what do you think about my situation and what I could do.

Sort your life out, have a good think. You sound like you're going through limerence and you may need a cold shower to snap you out. Accept the likelihood you are not a unicorn and basing a life plan on a dodgy prospect and your apparent doubts about your current real life situation isn't likely to turn out good.

To model: have you ever met with a user? Is possible that she could fall in love with me one day on the future?

People have done calamitously dumb things so little is impossible but seeing you propose a relationship built on a business transaction, fantasy and deceit (likely from both sides but only confirmed from yours so far), for both your sake hope not.

To users: have you ever fall in love with a cam girl?

No, not really the role camgirls seem meant to serve, they can offer the awesome feeling of infatuation with the happy dopamine goodness and physical release but infatuation isn't love, it's temporary and fleeting and what makes this a mutually beneficial win-win is rather conditioned on you paying for the experience.

Romantic love is massively unlikely with stories about outliers being an anomaly, still unlikely but not so fantastical is that there can be a bro-like love or rather a strong affection or friendship, if limited due to digital constraints, but sometimes you just get along with someone you meet under peculiar circumstances.

 

[AudriTwo]

As a lot of people have said here think about your real life first.
Love for camgirl is more about idealisation and fantasy than true love.
I saw you talked about money, just research here the thread about a guy named livinginmyth (i think the post was named Am I being gullible), his story sounds crazy but it's the best example about what can happen when you make confusion between camsite and dating site

He also got a kick ass back tattoo

Which OP should totally do too.

 

[DoD404]

As a lot of people have said here think about your real life first.
Love for camgirl is more about idealisation and fantasy than true love.
I saw you talked about money, just research here the thread about a guy named livinginmyth (i think the post was named Am I being gullible), his story sounds crazy but it's the best example about what can happen when you make confusion between camsite and dating site

Oh thanks, it's interesting
there : https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/am-i-simply-being-gullible.25985/

fyi OP, it ends with a brief of the story :

"I fell for a Romanian camgirl who became by obsession and my muse. I spent $60,000 on her. Lost my job and wife. Wrote 1200 poems for her over 15 months. Published almost 300 videos on line. To include poetry and song. Everything is documented and online. Book is published. Want to expose an industry that relies on the addictions and weakness of others. Yes, I was weak. Never saw or naked. Or talked of sex. Simply stayed to protect her from the rest. She told me that she loved me. And I stayed with her for 7 hours on her birthday. And on our anniversaries as well. I thought she loved me. I proposed. She said yes. I was going to visit. She got cold feet. Then I found out she was married. I need to tell this story. In documentary or as feature film."

 

[JGenius]

Oh thanks, it's interesting
there : https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/am-i-simply-being-gullible.25985/

fyi OP, it ends with a brief of the story :

Sounds like Living in myth is angry against camming industry.
This guy have some skills in writing what a waste of intelligence to not work on himself

 

[boycat]

Completely stop spending and see what happens. (I am pretty sure I know what you will find out).

Yes. And if this performer needs someone to rescue her with money, I am sure she will be able to find another person to take over from you since she seems to have the skills to draw people in.

Also I agree with whomever said that there is close to a 100% chance that this will end badly unless you walk away. You are not a bad person for wondering whether to remain faithful to your current relationship, it's normal to wonder. But according to my ethics, before you date anyone else you owe it to your current person to break up first, or at least consider an open relationship. Then if you do look for a new relationship, do it on a legitimate dating site (not one of the scam dating sites) or better yet, join activities that you like to do and meet people there. Normally I would not give advice in this situation, but this is different because you had asked.

Take care, be kind and honest to yourself and to everyone in your life.