I stopped tipping camgirls to save money, now they are getting desperate!

[DorkyCamGuy]

tl;dr -- I spent too much money on camgirls and stopped my addiction but camgirls are still crazy (and I love them for it)



Introduction

Oh where to begin? I've been into watching camgirls since at least 2012. Started with MFC and eventually moved onto Chaturbate as well. At first, it was very minimal, but over time I was spending too much. The past two years saw the most, where I'd easily put myself $10,000-$20,000 in credit card debt for tipping camgirls too much. There were times in one sitting, I'd be spending close to $900 on tips alone for their OhMiBods or whatever else they had going on.

After identifying my own issue and addiction, I put a stop to it and the girls are going crazy. After all, to them, this was huge for their rent money and other expenses. To me, I was going broke.... and for what reason? Because a girl online was getting naked and/or flirting with me? Because I wanted to jerk off? For real, it was absurd. No idea how I'll get out of debt now but it will take years or bankruptcy to do so.

Most of the camgirls from the United States, don't really seem to care I stopped tipping them but the trend that I noticed was that the ones overseas, do care and start to beg. I have 2 in particular who basically started to "cry" to me once their weekly income from me was not coming in. Oh and it's the typical stories:

(I will not share usernames to protect their identities)

Camgirl #1

Girl from Romania... as I like to call her, Romanian Scamgirl. When she was camming, I'd give her attention and she'd go on about being interested in me, etc. She even asked that I don't spend any money on other camgirls and suggested I should save and not spend money on her, but she was really liking me etc etc.

Eventually, after a few $900 sessions with her OhMiBod, she gave me her Kik so we could chat more. She'd send me pictures of her personal life, and of her, and it was nice. I'd share the same back. She'd get upset if I gave other camgirls attention, most likely because she wanted the money for herself. But we joked about me saving to support her when I'd marry her. I was in contact with her for about 3 months and playing on cam with her for that same time.

She took it a step further and even gave me her real name, which I was shocked about. She kept telling me throughout this entire time she was single and her now ex-bf cheated on her so she wanted to meet someone. We even discussed the possibility of me going to Romania to visit. I decided to look her up on Facebook to see what her story was and she had a public profile pop up. What I found, shocked me. She seemed pretty rich and also has herself listed in a relationship with some guy in Romania.

I immediately questioned her about this, telling her that her profile is public and she really should set it to private because people can find her or her bf easily. I was pretty sure she was talking to other guys this same way too, so figured a good heads up would help her. She insisted that there was no bf. 5 minutes later, her profile AND her bf's Facebook profile were private. Hmmm.

I slowly stopped tipping her after that and was focused on other girls. She'd see my tips on Chaturbate and immediately my Kik would pop up. I'd get the usual sob story, at times asking to send her money outside of Chaturbate: "I need money for rent", "I can't afford my tuition", "My mom is going to get kicked out of her apt, can you help?", "I have a medical emergency", "My grandmother is dying and we can't afford her funeral" and my favorite of all "How can you give other girls money? Can you please send me Western Union? I have no food and can't eat!"

Anyway, I'm pretty sure she is lying at this point so stopped contacting. She has not been camming since then. Money saved in my pocket, or so I thought, until I gave it to other camgirls instead.

Camgirl #2

One of my favorite camgirls, who I really was following and helping out for a year and a half. She too, was from another country (Czech Republic) and at first, I took it easy with her. But over time, there'd be a lot of sessions with her as well that would see me tipping her in excess of 10,000 tokens in one sitting (do the math on either MFC or Chaturbate). In addition to that, I'd buy her Amazon Gift cards... some up to $200 for her birthday or Christmas.

I'd get lots of nice PMs from her, lots of flirty compliments, etc. She'd legit get excited when I got into her room because nobody else was tipping her like I was... and she's far from ugly. She's actually one of the hottest camgirls on the site but does not have a following.

We eventually exchanged e-mails and started to chat through there. Then, I started to notice a trend. She'd only email me when she was online and was having a slow day. Clearly, she was looking for tokens and money to help her live. She never really complained about bills and such, and told me that one of my generous tip sessions actually was donated to help some of the children of the village she was in to help them out. I thought that was sweet.

But something did not sit right with me. In the time I've been watching her, I've seen her move into a larger place. Clearly, she was not hurting. Identifying my own issue of spending as much as I did on this girl, I went cold turkey and stopped tipping her. That's when it started....

"I am so sad, I only made 16 tokens in 4 hours camming", "I miss you so much", "I feel like I can trust you", "I don't have money for classes", "I want to start a business but don't have the funds", "I might have to stop camming and get a real job"... she never directly asked me for money but kept hinting that she needed it (meanwhile, I'm struggling myself now).

Admittedly, I've popped into her room a few times and she immediately PMs me with more or less the same and about how slow it is and how hard it is to make money on the site. She even offered to send me tokens back so I could tip her large amounts for her OhMiBod because she just liked and missed the feeling, but didn't know how to do so. Needless to say, I have not caved in.

Conclusion

It does baffle me how some girls are just balling in this industry. For example, I'm sitting her watching UniversitySmiles on Chaturbate and for a couple of hours now, she's made bank and can't figure out WHY people are tipping her. Like, what's the draw? And how are people affording giving so much money to a girl who seems to already be making tons of money? I'd rather see them spend it on girls who don't have a large following.

Anyway, not my problem, but wanted to share my stories in case someone in similar scenarios can use advice or see that they are not the only ones who suffered from this addiction. Bottom line is, 99% chance you are giving the girl online money to help her out and will never meet her in person (and a good percentage are prob making money for them and their bfs). So keep this in mind, that your basically paying for someone else to live and for your own personal entertainment as well.

Seeing the money I've been saving by not tipping camgirls, has been huge. While I understand this is a profession for most and how they make a living, I need to look out for myself too. I've made nice online "friends" with these girls and some other users in their rooms. Ultimately, it's a good decision for myself and I wish I recognized this years ago.

 

[CoraBorealis]

I'm glad you realize you need to take a step back and are able to do so before you got further into debt. I'm kind of confused by statements like "keep in mind, you're basically paying for someone else to live". Um...yeah? I think everyone knows this. My camming income supports my family - including my husband (GASP) and 3 children. My tippers don't care about that. It seems from your stories that you were only okay with "helping out" (aka tipping) models who seemed to be going through hardships, and once you found out that they aren't going to starve without your money, you feel taken advantage of. I understand feeling that way about models making up stories (like the Romanian model you mentioned) or telling you they want to marry you, etc, for tips. That's not cool. But most models are camming because this is our job, and a lot of us make a pretty decent living and aren't going to lose our house or be unable to eat if one person stops tipping us. What we do with the money we make shouldn't be any concern of yours. Tip who you enjoy being around, tip for appreciation, tip for shows or content you want to see. Tipping is not charity.

 

[AudriTwo]

It does baffle me how some girls are just balling in this industry. For example, I'm sitting her watching UniversitySmiles on Chaturbate and for a couple of hours now, she's made bank and can't figure out WHY people are tipping her. Like, what's the draw? And how are people affording giving so much money to a girl who seems to already be making tons of money? I'd rather see them spend it on girls who don't have a large following.

maybe they they are not financially responsible, maybe they can afford it, maybe they like her a lot. i'm a popular model on my site, and people tip me because they like me and my attitude. people have told me they only take me to private or tip into my shows because i'm popular. that's cool that you rather spend your money on girls with a lower following, but don't rag on other girls who worked hard to build up their following and reputation. to each his own.

 

[Wolf_3_5_9]

she's made bank and can't figure out WHY people are tipping her. Like, what's the draw? And how are people affording giving so much money to a girl who seems to already be making tons of money?

Not sure what this has to do with anything... Do you not buy concert tickets for bands that are popular? Do you not go see blockbuster movies at the theater?

Members are buying entertainment. It shouldn't matter how "popular" that entertainment is. Tipping for models isn't a wealth distribution scheme.

 

[Emberblaze]

I'm getting the vibe that the op doesn't see this as a legit job.

Not the scammer girls obviously but the top models in particular.

They make all that money because they work hard to make it. Acting as though they don't deserve it is kinda rude. This is an entertainment job. Not a charity.

Audritwo who posted above me is really popular on our site because she's super entertaining to watch. She's super funny and sarcastic and deserves her placement.

These models are entertaining people and deserve to be compensated. When you go to a strip club do you feel like you're "donating" to those women or do you recognize that they are entertainment that you should feel obligated to tip if you enjoy it regardless of how much others are tipping them.

 

[Phoenix4987]

To me, I was going broke.... and for what reason? Because a girl online was getting naked and/or flirting with me? Because I wanted to jerk off? For real, it was absurd. No idea how I'll get out of debt now but it will take years or bankruptcy to do so.

Bottom line is, 99% chance you are giving the girl online money to help her out

You don't have to go broke getting your entertainment fix. But some of your complaints and other things mentioned in your thread seemed like you wanted more than just simple entertainment. Like you had white knight syndrome and somehow got offended when girls only wanted your money. No kidding?

 

[Mintx]

I'm agreeing with @Missvc. You don't sound like you really see camming as a job, because of course models need tips to live or continuing to cam. You're an adult, and in complete control of your finances. You shouldn't have been going into debt anyways- but good on you for stopping, I guess? It isn't the models fault that your spending habits went out of control, and of course models aim to keep you tipping them. That's literally any point of any sales position. When your waitress asks if you're going to get anything else, and even when you're full, it is up to you to be the adult of your wallet and self to look at their possibly pretty doe eyes and say no thank you.

And yes, you are tipping models to flirt with you or get naked. That's the point of it all, and if you stop or won't tip, don't go to cam sites. Just my advice. Models don't need another "fan" to come into their rooms with whatever reason they can't pay again.

 

[Tma4002]

You pay for what’s on screen and shouldn’t worry too much about what happens off the screen. I tip a lot of models but I never NEVER use credit and when my bank account hits a certain point where I don’t have enough money to pay bills for 4 months I STOP. You have to be responsible for yourself.

I never expect to meet any models and no one should expect that. Enjoy what you do have access to. I talk with my favorite all the time..she shares some of her personal life with me and I love that. If she isn’t sharing everything? Maybe she has a boyfriend or husband? Maybe she doesn’t even like men? If she doesn’t want to share that I am perfectly okay with that. We have fun and we joke. A lot of times I ask her to add a certain thing to her wish list for me to buy because I know it’s something she will really enjoy. I don’t expect anything extra for any of that.

I feel like too many people have the illusion that the world inside of the cam room is the same outside and it isn’t. They are making a performance for your enjoyment. I hear a lot from the other side and trust me they work their tails off for every tip.

 

[Dan Epstein]

OP, let’s say you are selling cars. Will it be okay to ask you to give them for free? You’ve met your sales goal, can’t you kick back, and give something back to the community?

 

[Lelo1]

tl;dr -- I spent too much money on camgirls and stopped my addiction

easily put myself $10,000-$20,000 in credit card debt for tipping camgirls too much.

I went cold turkey and stopped tipping her. That's when it started....

Admittedly, I've popped into her room a few times

It's's great that you've recognized you have a problem, and that you are taking action to stop the behavior.

With that being said,
Do you think it's dangerous for you to be staying in contact? And to be still going to cam sites? It just seems like your putting yourself into a situation where you might be tempted to start tipping again.

 

[TemporarilyWhining]

If I can offer a little thought here that might help you while you are in recovery, it seems to me that psychologically, you are in a specific situation to get addicted that some other people aren't.

The reason is, you have forgotten that camming, like basically all sex work, is a fantasy. It is not real life. You are thinking about it as REAL, getting emotionally involved with the cam girls, worrying about their health and their education and their form of shelter, looking on their romantic relationships with people in real life as a form of cheating. Someone who views sex work like you do, is very susceptible to getting lost in it, to becoming addicted, and to going broke if they don't have unlimited funds - and then to taking it personally that this happened and feeling like a victim. Someone who keeps perspective, sees it merely as a form of entertainment, can see the line between reality and fantasy and just tip when they have money and feel entertained, and walk away when they don't. They don't believe they are in a real life relationship with the models. They don't believe they are saving them by watching them. They don't cross the line between fantasy and reality. Do you know what I mean?

If you want to be around the cam world, or ever go back to tipping cam models or paying any other sex workers, it will be important for you to stay in reality, to remember always that this is a fantasy. It's like watching a movie, like picking a favorite TV show. Of course, you get invested in the storylines, in the characters. But when the camera turns off, the show is over. These people are not real. You don't have to worry that this character is in real life starving, or this one has a dying mom, etc. There are people out there who blur that line too,who start thinking actresses are real, that pretend storylines are real life. The thing is, sex work is called sex work, because it's not normal sex - it's acting. The people who do well, are good actors. They're SUPPOSED to make you feel like this is real. Clearly they have you pegged, because like many men they realize you have white knight syndrome, that you like to control people with your codependent tendencies and "help" and attached strings and expectations... and so they play up their helplessness, their vulnerability because it keeps you interested, it makes you pay up. But, they're playing a dangerous game, because that can also make you snap.

You need to remember, you DON'T KNOW this girl in Romania. For all you know she gave you a fake "real" name, or that page you found was a catfish account. She may have given the name of her friend, or relative. It could be anything. And, you're not entitled to know. She gave you want you wanted - you paid for time, you paid to see something on cam, you got it when she was on the clock on cam. She doesn't owe you to live the rest of her life around just you. She has other customers, and other people in her life. Business is not necessarily moral. Nothing you said she did sounds like it was actually violating any code of business - like if you paid for an agreed video interaction and then she just sat there and didn't follow through on what she agreed to perform, or whatever. She's not scamming you, if you willingly paid her money, and all she did was encourage you to pay her more by telling you what you wanted to her, by keeping up the entertainment because it's her JOB to do that. She's an actress. She pretending to be one thing, the thing you like. When you stopped finding the reward to be worth the cost, you stopped giving her your business. Same as what McDonald's sells. It's addicting, it's fantasy, but it's just business in the end. You'll stop coming when you finally realize their shitty burgers and Coke are poisoning your body. But that doesn't make them scammers exactly - they just sold a pretend world where burgers fix people's problems and make them happy.

Even "small-time" cam girls with small rooms/following, might not be poor. They might be. A lot of people get into camming because of money problems in the first place. But, a lot are old hands at this, and may just be newer to a particular site, may just have made a new profile, or put in less time on that site than they do on another one. Many have husbands. Many have bfs on the side of the husbands. Quite a few have a full-time gig as a "sugar baby" in real life, and camming is just a side gig. You really don't know. They don't owe it to you to stay poor forever. They don't owe their life to you just because you paid them a few thousand dollars, when some other guy might actually be paying them even more. If they're good at what they do, they always have multiple customers. You'll never really know if they're lying to you that they're broke and desperate, just telling you what you want to hear because it worked in the past. It's a paycheck to them. It's not a marriage. That doesn't make them low-lifes though, any more than actresses in movies or plays are low-lifes, or people who create performance art, or people who sell a fantasy to a partner to get the relationship (which is much more common, and far more insidious - and both men and women do this all the time). What these women are doing is just work. It is not actually emotional. It's business. I am someone who gets very attached to customers, but that is not common, and even I have limits. People who do this purely as a job and not because they enjoy it... they do whatever they have to to make their income. Just like McDonald's does. Just like any other for-profit business with a marketing campaign.

So if you decide to ever get into cam girls again, remember, this is just a fantasy. It's not real, ok? She's not really in love with you. She's not really single. She's not really vulnerable and in need of saving. She's a pretty lady on a screen, just like an actress in a movie, or a famous singer at a concert, telling you things or doing things that make you feel good for the money you paid for the ticket to see her show. When the show is over, it's over, everybody goes home and lives their normal lives. When the rock star goes home they take off their costume, and they don't have to be the rock star anymore. The actress goes home and she's not that character anymore. The sex worker goes home and she's not that fantasy anymore. The job is over, the money was made for the day.

People who know the difference between fantasy and reality are not vulnerable to overspending on cam sites, at strip clubs, on in-person sex workers, etc. But people who can't tell the difference, who assume everything the fantasy they create for you is real life, get too emotionally invested, and spend more than they can afford. And then, usually get mad and blame the person who did their job for having any other facets to their life when they go home. When a teacher goes home, they do not have to keep teaching to their families otherwise they're a fake. When an office worker goes home, they can have a totally different personality, a personal life that maybe no one at work knows about or suspects. That's normal. It's called boundaries. We are not just one thing. We are many things. People are complicated. Just like gritty realistic TV, or low budget movies, sometimes the entertainment may blur a line specifically because it seems so real. But that doesn't mean it IS real - just that it is catering to an audience that prefers realism rather than gloss. It's still pretend.

You are an audience member who likes gritty realism. Good to remember. But you are also somebody in the past who confused fantasy with reality. And that is a recipe for disaster when it comes to engaging with sex workers. You might need some therapy to help you cope with the decisions you made, that have maybe caused you to go into bankruptcy. Addictions don't just come out of nowhere, and then disappear out of nowhere. There are deep reasons that people get lost in things, to avoid their real life. And get pulled into codependent behaviors, always trying to save people when actually subconsciously trying to control them, attaching many strings to the "help" they are giving. I hope you can take this great opportunity to see what in your own life caused all of this blurring of fantasy and reality. It is worth find out what caused you to make these decisions, rather than focusing on your own life, saving your money, and building a real relationship with a real person standing right in front of you. Why you chose to do that with people on a screen from supposedly thousands of miles away, whom you don't actually know, instead of building a life and real love for yourself with someone where you live, like most of the people who live in your region probably did. There is much more to this than what's on the surface. You could have spent that money on a family, on building a career or a home. But you spent it on a pretty face on a screen who will not be there for you when you are really down and out. So I hope you take a moment to heal the WHY, so your life is better from now on going forward with what you learned from this journey. Bad things, I think, happen for a reason. You can use this to make your life a lot happier, a lot more fulfilling, than it used to be.

 

[BiancaBaker]

It does baffle me how some girls are just balling in this industry. For example, I'm sitting her watching UniversitySmiles on Chaturbate and for a couple of hours now, she's made bank and can't figure out WHY people are tipping her. Like, what's the draw? And how are people affording giving so much money to a girl who seems to already be making tons of money? I'd rather see them spend it on girls who don't have a large following.

Are you fucking serious? You understand this is a job that a lot of us work 40-60 hours a week doing right??? just because you cant understand why she's making money why the fuck do you even care? good for her!

 

[Dan Epstein]

Are you fucking serious? You understand this is a job that a lot of us work 40-60 hours a week doing right??? just because you cant understand why she's making money why the fuck do you even care? good for her!

I remember this from the days my mom was a school teacher, people forget the hours of former preparations. No fetish intended, just to explain that a live session, or a custom vid, have a lot work around them, before the camera is on play/rec. What do I know, I’m just a payment rep

 

[SoftGlow]

tl;dr -- I spent too much money on camgirls and stopped my addiction but camgirls are still crazy (and I love them for it)



Introduction

Oh where to begin? I've been into watching camgirls since at least 2012. Started with MFC and eventually moved onto Chaturbate as well. At first, it was very minimal, but over time I was spending too much. The past two years saw the most, where I'd easily put myself $10,000-$20,000 in credit card debt for tipping camgirls too much. There were times in one sitting, I'd be spending close to $900 on tips alone for their OhMiBods or whatever else they had going on.

After identifying my own issue and addiction, I put a stop to it and the girls are going crazy. After all, to them, this was huge for their rent money and other expenses. To me, I was going broke.... and for what reason? Because a girl online was getting naked and/or flirting with me? Because I wanted to jerk off? For real, it was absurd. No idea how I'll get out of debt now but it will take years or bankruptcy to do so.

Most of the camgirls from the United States, don't really seem to care I stopped tipping them but the trend that I noticed was that the ones overseas, do care and start to beg. I have 2 in particular who basically started to "cry" to me once their weekly income from me was not coming in. Oh and it's the typical stories:

(I will not share usernames to protect their identities)

Camgirl #1

Girl from Romania... as I like to call her, Romanian Scamgirl. When she was camming, I'd give her attention and she'd go on about being interested in me, etc. She even asked that I don't spend any money on other camgirls and suggested I should save and not spend money on her, but she was really liking me etc etc.

Eventually, after a few $900 sessions with her OhMiBod, she gave me her Kik so we could chat more. She'd send me pictures of her personal life, and of her, and it was nice. I'd share the same back. She'd get upset if I gave other camgirls attention, most likely because she wanted the money for herself. But we joked about me saving to support her when I'd marry her. I was in contact with her for about 3 months and playing on cam with her for that same time.

She took it a step further and even gave me her real name, which I was shocked about. She kept telling me throughout this entire time she was single and her now ex-bf cheated on her so she wanted to meet someone. We even discussed the possibility of me going to Romania to visit. I decided to look her up on Facebook to see what her story was and she had a public profile pop up. What I found, shocked me. She seemed pretty rich and also has herself listed in a relationship with some guy in Romania.

I immediately questioned her about this, telling her that her profile is public and she really should set it to private because people can find her or her bf easily. I was pretty sure she was talking to other guys this same way too, so figured a good heads up would help her. She insisted that there was no bf. 5 minutes later, her profile AND her bf's Facebook profile were private. Hmmm.

I slowly stopped tipping her after that and was focused on other girls. She'd see my tips on Chaturbate and immediately my Kik would pop up. I'd get the usual sob story, at times asking to send her money outside of Chaturbate: "I need money for rent", "I can't afford my tuition", "My mom is going to get kicked out of her apt, can you help?", "I have a medical emergency", "My grandmother is dying and we can't afford her funeral" and my favorite of all "How can you give other girls money? Can you please send me Western Union? I have no food and can't eat!"

Anyway, I'm pretty sure she is lying at this point so stopped contacting. She has not been camming since then. Money saved in my pocket, or so I thought, until I gave it to other camgirls instead.

Camgirl #2

One of my favorite camgirls, who I really was following and helping out for a year and a half. She too, was from another country (Czech Republic) and at first, I took it easy with her. But over time, there'd be a lot of sessions with her as well that would see me tipping her in excess of 10,000 tokens in one sitting (do the math on either MFC or Chaturbate). In addition to that, I'd buy her Amazon Gift cards... some up to $200 for her birthday or Christmas.

I'd get lots of nice PMs from her, lots of flirty compliments, etc. She'd legit get excited when I got into her room because nobody else was tipping her like I was... and she's far from ugly. She's actually one of the hottest camgirls on the site but does not have a following.

We eventually exchanged e-mails and started to chat through there. Then, I started to notice a trend. She'd only email me when she was online and was having a slow day. Clearly, she was looking for tokens and money to help her live. She never really complained about bills and such, and told me that one of my generous tip sessions actually was donated to help some of the children of the village she was in to help them out. I thought that was sweet.

But something did not sit right with me. In the time I've been watching her, I've seen her move into a larger place. Clearly, she was not hurting. Identifying my own issue of spending as much as I did on this girl, I went cold turkey and stopped tipping her. That's when it started....

"I am so sad, I only made 16 tokens in 4 hours camming", "I miss you so much", "I feel like I can trust you", "I don't have money for classes", "I want to start a business but don't have the funds", "I might have to stop camming and get a real job"... she never directly asked me for money but kept hinting that she needed it (meanwhile, I'm struggling myself now).

Admittedly, I've popped into her room a few times and she immediately PMs me with more or less the same and about how slow it is and how hard it is to make money on the site. She even offered to send me tokens back so I could tip her large amounts for her OhMiBod because she just liked and missed the feeling, but didn't know how to do so. Needless to say, I have not caved in.

Conclusion

It does baffle me how some girls are just balling in this industry. For example, I'm sitting her watching UniversitySmiles on Chaturbate and for a couple of hours now, she's made bank and can't figure out WHY people are tipping her. Like, what's the draw? And how are people affording giving so much money to a girl who seems to already be making tons of money? I'd rather see them spend it on girls who don't have a large following.

Anyway, not my problem, but wanted to share my stories in case someone in similar scenarios can use advice or see that they are not the only ones who suffered from this addiction. Bottom line is, 99% chance you are giving the girl online money to help her out and will never meet her in person (and a good percentage are prob making money for them and their bfs). So keep this in mind, that your basically paying for someone else to live and for your own personal entertainment as well.

Seeing the money I've been saving by not tipping camgirls, has been huge. While I understand this is a profession for most and how they make a living, I need to look out for myself too. I've made nice online "friends" with these girls and some other users in their rooms. Ultimately, it's a good decision for myself and I wish I recognized this years ago.

I'm glad you were able to see what was going on and stop. Addiction is real. I'm thinking of quitting camming myself because I notc a lot of stuff that's off. Like you said, some people are making bank and they aren't doing what others are. I became aware that proxy manipulation is a way people can manipulate the results on th main page to stay on there all the time. I've often wondered how many broken relationships (people with an addiction or people trying to cheat in some way) have come into my room and stuff. It's concerning to think about.

 

[TemporarilyWhining]

There is something about this that fascinates me, so I read it again. I guess it's because I like to learn about the psychology of customers.

One of the things that caught my eye, on second reading, is that you said you may spend like 10,000 tokens in a sitting on Chaturbate. And then you talk about girls "making bank," about them "going crazy" because they they need you so bad. Um, you do realize that 10,000 tokens on Chaturbate is only US$500 for the model, right? And that then the model has to pay taxes on top of it? It's not like it's $10,000US.

So if we can believe this idea that you really were the top tipper in the model's life, and that she need you so bad she goes crazy without you... then even if she had 4 sessions a month like this where you make it rain with 10,000 tokens, at the end of the year all she walks away with is $24,000, BEFORE taxes. That's hardly making bank. Depending on what country she lives in, and whether she has dependents to pay for, that might even place her at or below the poverty line. Sure, it IS a lot of money for you to pay to jack off. But the way you speak about these women, it's like you think you own her soul or something. Like you think paying somebody 10 or 20k a year, entitles you to ensure they will never have a bf, or a life of their own. Then if she takes other money from other people, and can afford to move into a better home, you act like THAT is the thing that makes her a whore, which is bad in your opinion. But she wasn't one when she was just taking money from YOU, to help "feed the starving children in her village" or whatever nonsense she told you. If you really wanted to do good, you would have given the money directly to a non-profit that specializes in feeding starving children around the world, or proving fresh water, or whatever it is. But, you wanted to pay somebody to jack off. So why make it into a morality issue? You're moral, you did this to be kind and help others - but she's not moral, she's a scammer because she doesn't live in a rotting tenement with starving dogs in the courtyard?

I am always amazed how guys on Chaturbate throw pennies at my chest and think they're balling. Like, "100 tokens for flash, bb" - "1,000 for cum show." Like, you know those numbers are not in US dollars, right? And the hosting website takes a big cut. What does a girl have to do, how many hours does she have to spend, for 10,000 tokens? It's probably not $500US in her pocket, just to sit for a half hour and talk to her respectfully with her clothes on, right? Like ok, maybe it's only 10-20 minutes total, she takes the tokens and gives you a private show. But, you really expect her to be loyal to you only then? You pay her, you wank, and you leave, and she somehow is bound to be honest with you, and chaste with others in her real life, forever afterward? She's going to marry someone like that?

"Bottom line is, 99% chance you are giving the girl online money to help her out and will never meet her in person (and a good percentage are prob making money for them and their bfs)."

You saying you're "helping" her. No, you're paying someone for a service, you pay her to take her clothes off and help you have an orgasm, and she provides that for you. That's not "helping" her. That's an exchange of business, for an agreed upon price. When you go to the grocery store, you're not "helping" them by buying your groceries. The manager doesn't owe you now to never sell to another customer, or have their own homelife. How exactly did you think that you paying her to take her clothes off was in any way replacing the role of an in-person boyfriend for her? That's not what a boyfriend, or a husband, does. That's not something that makes someone fall in love with you. All the more so, not for $20k a year or whatever it is. Like, if they really need you that badly that you're main source of income, and they have no other good customers, that's not even that much money to live on after the website cut and taxes are taken out. Moreover if she has kids or whatever.

I'm not sure of the point of this thread exactly. But starting right out from the title, you sound like you have a really big head about this, you keep using the word "beg." These girls are "begging" you. I guess that makes you feel like a big man. And then you're mad that they don't really need you after all, as much as they say. They're "going crazy" without you, but also they are "making bank" and so therefore don't need customers to "help" them. This is such a weird idea about business. You pay for the product or service you get, not so you can feel sorry for the peons you threw cash at, and like you are "saving a village" because some girl showed you her tits. You're not doing anybody a favor by paying someone to help you masturbate, and you're not sweeping her off her feet when you command her to help you cum for change. It's not an emotional relationship, and it's not a year at the Peace Corps. You pay what it's worth to you to masturbate online, and when it stops being worth it someone else comes (cums, haha) in and takes your place. That's the job. It ain't glamorous. But it sure doesn't make you Gandhi, either.

I don't know. I guess it bothers me, because it sounds like you're trying to create real personal growth in your life. But also, the way you write it is really arrogant and self-serving. Like you are morally better than these women. Which is weird, because you're the one paying a stranger to take a wank, and they're the ones taking off their clothes to support their families. I don't see that that really puts you in the moral high ground. You're not Superman. You're just a dude using a porn site, like millions of other dudes using a porn site. You weren't saving the human race, one topless chick at a time, with your magical goo...
Sometimes I really do need money, and I see how quickly customers become possessive over me, telling me not to talk to other guys, talking about how much they want to help me out, want to whisk me away and give me whatever I need. Asking me where I live (which I would never in a million years tell them - not even the country). And I often wonder, how many of them think like you do, that if they pay me a few hundred dollars after the site cut, that now they have earned the right to marry me, to believe they solved my life forever, that I owe my undying allegiance to a total stranger because I worked hard and paid for high-speed internet and laptop and clothing and makeup/hair stuff, worked endlessly on lighting and software and strategies to keep people entertained for hours and to provide a good show with good audio feed and visuals, produced essentially an entire TV show every day, multiple times a day, all by myself week after week while juggling the demands of multiple different people who all think they should be the center of my world but all want very different things... that one guy who pays me for doing my job and doing it well and working extremely hard very long hours in setup and planning and research and marketing, thinks he is giving me pity money and that now all that work did not earn me the right to have a good life and have real people to love in my day in person.

Customers don't see the work that goes behind the scenes to make all this happen. When you produce a TV show that has more than one viewer, that is the point. When you produce a TV show online as a cam girl that has more than one viewer, somehow you're suddenly not "wifey" material anymore, you're denigrated just for being a smart and successful businesswoman with a huge talent for entertaining others. If you think it's so easy, that all it is is a sad-sack pity party where you raise charity money, then you try it. See how successful you are at drawing in an audience. After all, you have a sad story and need money now. Now you try to produce a quality cam show and reel in the dough to pay off your debts, and see what it really feels like to be a cam model. Except of course, the inherent sexism in the world means it's unlikely that guys are ever going to treat you like they own you, try to find out where you live, or get mad because you suddenly seem like you've moved to a nicer place. But still, it might be an awesome lesson for you to try to be the cammer now. And after all, you DO know what customers want - maybe you'd be really good at it! You're certainly motivated to pay off the debt. And you do like being sexually active, so that will make it easier, because you will need to constantly be performing, and ready any time people tell you to be.



I wrote this because even if you decide not to read it all, I hope other guys who are customers will. I assume your title will be a draw for them. Maybe reading this will make them realize what it is like when the shoe is on the other foot. That paying for a cam model's work is not the same as donating to UNICEF. That you're not a god just because you give a girl $50 and ask her to show you her feet, or whatever. It's just another day at the office for her. She still goes home exhausted to her family at the end of it, thinking of how she can produce an even better show for tomorrow.

 

[SoftGlow]

There is something about this that fascinates me, so I read it again. I guess it's because I like to learn about the psychology of customers.

One of the things that caught my eye, on second reading, is that you said you may spend like 10,000 tokens in a sitting on Chaturbate. And then you talk about girls "making bank," about them "going crazy" because they they need you so bad. Um, you do realize that 10,000 tokens on Chaturbate is only US$500 for the model, right? And that then the model has to pay ta-

All great points. OP does have a spending problem, but the way money and tokens work on there makes it different. I think the first story he told was creepy, the user sounded off. But it does sound like OP doesn't get that camming is a job. People don't do it because they're financially hurting. It's a job, and people are paid for their work. There seems to be a white knight attitude thing going on. But I really do hope OP stops putting themselves in debt.

 

[yummybrownfox]

You saying you're "helping" her. No, you're paying someone for a service, you pay her to take her clothes off and help you have an orgasm, and she provides that for you. That's not "helping" her. That's an exchange of business, for an agreed upon price.

THIS! It's always annoyed me when members go on about how they've "helped" a model out, and they make it sound like they strictly did it out of the kindness of their hearts. Sure, if you're giving us "just because" tips that we don't have to do anything specific for, that's one thing. But if you're tipping for a flash...a video...to get us topless/naked, you are also helping yourself, buddy. I wish folks would stop acting like they deserve a gold medal for all the "help" they've provided models. Lol.

And bragging repeatedly about how they've spent X dollars over the years...um...cool story! Why don't you tell us that 50 more times, dude? Lol. I'd rather not have to interact with the type of member who's just gonna throw it in my face later (during a minor disagreement, or conversation where he suddenly asks for a freebie)...about all the money he's spent on me. Yeah, dude...I thanked you, and gave you the stuff you tipped for, so chill. I'm not sucking your dick. Lmao.

 

[Wolf_3_5_9]

THIS! It's always annoyed me when members go on about how they've "helped" a model out, and they make it sound like they strictly did it out of the kindness of their hearts. Sure, if you're giving us "just because" tips that we don't have to do anything specific for, that's one thing. But if you're tipping for a flash...a video...to get us topless/naked, you are also helping yourself, buddy. I wish folks would stop acting like they deserve a gold medal for all the "help" they've provided models. Lol.

I think the free/public chat model tends to breed this kind of thinking by some members. Somehow the fact that they could have just freeloaded makes them feel that tipping is somehow hugely above and beyond and a "favor" to the model. No dude, if you like what you see, you should be tipping. I don't know if they'd think of it as "helping a model" if these sites were all pay-to-view.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I think the free/public chat model tends to breed this kind of thinking by some members. Somehow the fact that they could have just freeloaded makes them feel that tipping is somehow hugely above and beyond and a "favor" to the model. No dude, if you like what you see, you should be tipping. I don't know if they'd think of it as "helping a model" if these sites were all pay-to-view.

THIS. The site culture between token sites vs pay-per-min privates is way different. I have most of my members tell ME "thank you" after we do a show (I now cam just on streamate) my top members never ever say arrogant things like "I'm paying for you to live!" vs when I was on a site like MFC and a guy would tip to complete a countdown for me to get naked then brag about how he 'spoiled' me,is paying my rent and is supporting my life like it wasn't a transaction but a donation for charity or something. As far as I'm concerned once you give a cammodel your money it's now HER money to do with whatever she pleases. SHE is buying/funding her lifestyle/paying bills whatever with the money you paid to get online services. Man, I do NOT miss these types of members.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I think the free/public chat model tends to breed this kind of thinking by some members.

I've been saying this exact thing on this forum for some time now. I remember one or two guys on here bitching about how us models complain about the "entitlement" of men on free chat sites, but that is exactly what it is, which is why sites like MFC can be so draining.

I had a guy on MFC bitch because I didn't offer my phone number as an incentive for tippers. I've had a guy on MFC bitch at me because the birthday phone call I promised him didn't happen "first thing in the morning" as he thought. I've had a guy on MFC get butthurt and stop visiting me because I refused to answer "What's your real name?" with an answer he was looking for.

 

[Mintx]

@Songbird_Shelly there was a thread recently (can't remember the title) where the member was insisting that it is called My Free Cams so models should do shows and thank their lucky stars if they even get tips. (I'm paraphrasing)

I think some members need to remember that if they don't pay models, models aren't going to be sticking around because we love this super emotional draining and potentially dangerous job just for funsies.

 

[yummybrownfox]

@Songbird_Shelly there was a thread recently (can't remember the title) where the member was insisting that it is called My Free Cams so models should do shows and thank their lucky stars if they even get tips. (I'm paraphrasing)

I think some members need to remember that if they don't pay models, models aren't going to be sticking around because we love this super emotional draining and potentially dangerous job just for funsies.

Yeah, don't ya just love guys like that? Smh. Then when we disappear from the site for a while, they whine "What ever happened to so and so?" So and so probably moved on cuz y'all weren't tipping her (and was sick of seeing that declining cam score), jackass! Lmao.

 

[Mintx]

Yeah, don't ya just love guys like that? Smh. Then when we disappear from the site for a while, they whine "What ever happened to so and so?" So and so probably moved on cuz y'all weren't tipping her (and was sick of seeing that declining cam score), jackass! Lmao.

This is literally what I did on Chaturbate, and what drove me away from the site for now. It is hard to spend hours on days on weeks making nothing and getting shit for whenever you don't log in because "Why aren't you on??" 'cause I need to make money and if a site isn't working for me then I'ma not spend so many hours?

 

[yummybrownfox]

This is literally what I did on Chaturbate, and what drove me away from the site for now. It is hard to spend hours on days on weeks making nothing and getting shit for whenever you don't log in because "Why aren't you on??" 'cause I need to make money and if a site isn't working for me then I'ma not spend so many hours?

I know exactly what you mean. It's really annoying when people expect you to be on whenever it's convenient for them...as if we're 24-hour cammers. I decided that the midnight camming on MFC will only be happening on Friday and Saturday nights (since I don't have to be up early the following mornings)...or can be any night where I don't have to be up early the next day. I've stated this on Twitter, as well as on my MFC profile, so the folks who claim to "love/miss me" will need to pay attention to that if they'd like to continue seeing me late at night. I need my sleep too.

Today was supposed to be my first day trying out the 'camming on two sites simultaneously by hooking my laptop up to the T.V. monitor' method, but ever since Friday night I've been feeling like I'm gonna puke, with a fever and headaches.

 

[SoftGlow]

THIS. The site culture between token sites vs pay-per-min privates is way different. I have most of my members tell ME "thank you" after we do a show (I now cam just on streamate) my top members never ever say arrogant things like "I'm paying for you to live!" vs when I was on a site like MFC and a guy would tip to complete a countdown for me to get naked then brag about how he 'spoiled' me,is paying my rent and is supporting my life like it wasn't a transaction but a donation for charity or something. As far as I'm concerned once you give a cammodel your money it's now HER money to do with whatever she pleases. SHE is buying/funding her lifestyle/paying bills whatever with the money you paid to get online services. Man, I do NOT miss these types of members.

Ugh I get these constantly! I'm thinking of completely moving over to stream mate because I'm fed up with this exact shit. Plus the whole token part really does impact it, too, I agree.

 

[SoftGlow]

This is literally what I did on Chaturbate, and what drove me away from the site for now. It is hard to spend hours on days on weeks making nothing and getting shit for whenever you don't log in because "Why aren't you on??" 'cause I need to make money and if a site isn't working for me then I'ma not spend so many hours?

This is how things are for me on chaturbate right now.

 

[SoftGlow]

I've been saying this exact thing on this forum for some time now. I remember one or two guys on here bitching about how us models complain about the "entitlement" of men on free chat sites, but that is exactly what it is, which is why sites like MFC can be so draining.

I had a guy on MFC bitch because I didn't offer my phone number as an incentive for tippers. I've had a guy on MFC bitch at me because the birthday phone call I promised him didn't happen "first thing in the morning" as he thought. I've had a guy on MFC get butthurt and stop visiting me because I refused to answer "What's your real name?" with an answer he was looking for.

Exactly. They can't even imagine paying for sex and when they do they feel like they're special. Like, boo do you pay for gas for your shit car? Yeah, you do.

The "what's your real name" ones are the worst. Like who do they think is going to give out their real name to some creepy rude asshole on the internet to begin with?

 

[CharlieCharma]

It does baffle me how some girls are just balling in this industry. For example, I'm sitting her watching UniversitySmiles on Chaturbate and for a couple of hours now, she's made bank and can't figure out WHY people are tipping her. Like, what's the draw? And how are people affording giving so much money to a girl who seems to already be making tons of money? I'd rather see them spend it on girls who don't have a large following.

As a camgirl who half asses everything online and makes enough to live comfy, but not wealthy, do you know how fucking hard the top girls work? I try to stay active on Twitter, build a following, update snapchat, film regular videos, stick to a camming schedule, update other social media, market, engage customers when I'm not online, etc and you know what? I have not been able to juggle it. It's fucking hard work. It feels like you're always on and always thinking about what you're going to do next. That's why she's getting tipped a fuckton. Because she works her ass off while dudes like you question the validity of her work ethic and career.

 

[AudriTwo]

I want to take this time to appreciate Streamate's members for not being this batshit.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I want to take this time to appreciate Streamate's members for not being this batshit.

God, I love them. Show up, pay for a show, no interaction outside of that because they don't bother looking for us on Twitter, it's perfect.