TheNightman said:
I think there may be a quoting issue. :-D
I didn't say any of these things!!
I re-read that just now and thought it wasn't you who said it... Unsure of how that mix-up happened but I agree that the quotes be haunted.
Trav said:
Evvie said:
Again, I don't think needing a certain degree of exclusivity in aspects of a relationship is a sign of jealousy or insecurity(which in my mind means an overabundance of either of those things). It may not be true in your particular case, but I think most people would not be ok with their partner having sex with other individuals. That doesn't make them jealous. It makes them normal.
I do not think exclusive relationships are more normal than inclusive relationships, any more than being a Christian is normal and being a Mormon is abnormal. They are two different things, one is not more correct than the other.
Being "normal" and being "more correct" are different things. I don't think an open relationship is any less correct than a monogamous one, that's for the people involved to decide, but I do think one is much more normal than the other.
Having done a mild amount of research on the subject, I've found most people's definition of monogamous and what that entails to vary as widely as people's opinions on how soon you should start exploring your options after a homoerotic dream.
It is simple enough to say "two people together without a third party," but as this thread has proven, the answer is rarely that simple. For some people, that third party is other men and women who will engage in sex; for others, men and women you become emotionally attached to; for other people the third party is pornography, and so on.
I have met a couple at a swinger's party who just got done fucking a bunch of strangers, yet insisted they were purely monogamous and
not in an open relationship.
And then, when you get in to other subcultures (like the kink, for example) what happens if you're with one partner, but do a sexual scene with another partner? Are you monogamous? Are you in an open relationship? Is it possible to play with someone/cam for someone, yet still remain only interested in your primary partner?
Monogamy in many ways is so diluted and abstract that I'd wager many people's definitions of monogamy exclude a vast number of monogamous couples. I also know of a few couples who label themselves polyamorous who look far more like monogamists, to the point where neither partner is willing to have a third in their relationship.
I in no way disagree that many perfectly cool guys have their issues with camming at times. Even if you're fine with something doesn't mean you don't want to bitch at it when you're upset, and I think many fellows who are uncomfortable with having a sex worker for a partner are primarily uneducated about how the business works (as far as camming goes). Jobs can get in the way of any relationship; if my sister only talked to her new fiance about how amazing her job serving coffee is, and day-in and day-out she raved about how great her cute customers tipped, that's because my sister is an idiot, not because being a barista is a job that sucks up her soul. I don't let camming invade on my personal life more than it should, just as I wouldn't let any other job take over my personal life. It has absolutely nothing to do with my relationship being unusual or my partner being abnormal; this is my job, and that is my relationship. They are two separate things. I am not going to fill up my relationship quota through my job.
Eh, I disagree. The two things are vastly different. For men there is exactly 0 intimacy involved in the viewing of pornography unless they have an unhealthy addiction to it. I don't know about other people, but my porn doesn't talk back to me, and no matter how much I try, the women on-screen never respond when I cry "spread bobs bb!"
I speak not for every cam model, but I think you might be vastly overestimating the amount of intense love and yearning we feel for every member in our 200+ count room while we're doing public shows.
I'd imagine virtually none, so... I doubt it.
Then the point stands: Cam models may very well have no more sexual connection with many of the members on their cam site than do men who watch pornography have a connection with those actresses.
No, because not all cam models work in the same way. I know many models on here consider some of their regulars to be friends.
Naturally; the example I used was to point out specifically that in many situations, there is no connection (a la a huge room in a public show), although when it comes to regulars, I consider many to be my friends. However, they are that - friends, not potential romantic partners. When I have wet dreams, they're about my man fucking me from behind, not SoTxBob (sorry, Bob. Had to use a name.)
I do however agree that there are likely some models who give a fuck about anyone in their room, and other models who care quite a bit about a lot of members.