Fiance wants to start camming...

[Anarah]

I started camming because I was laid off from my job at a CPA firm after 5 years during the height of unemployment in Florida. I didn't "WANT" to cam, but after a year of unemployment and the inability to get a job ANYWHERE in Florida that could support me and my daughter I didn't "WANT" to be homeless. Even though it was something I didn't really "want" to do, I did it, and it was the BEST.DECISION.EVER!

But now you like it. She's tried it and does NOT enjoy it. There's a big difference.

There is a difference between liking the things the money provides and liking "it". I think that is the point you are missing. It is okay to like camming "just for the money".

That's where we'll have to agree to disagree.
I believe that doing sexual things JUST for money can be more psychologically damaging than doing non-sexual things JUST for money. Therefore, should not be done. ESPECIALLY when you have a child and need to be mentally fit for them.
You obviously disagree with those statements. That's okay. But one of us is right and the other is wrong. Guess we'll never know until it is deemed fact in the psychology world.

:roll: CAN BE. CAN BE more damaging. It can ALSO go the other way around. The fact that there are girls explaining that they have had this exact experience should be proof/"fact" enough for you. Also common sense that everyone deals with different situations completely differently. There are all kinds of people in the world. Something that is damaging for some, even if you want to claim that it's something that's damaging for the majority, IS NOT more damaging for EVERYONE. Some people work in completely opposite ways. Therefore, you have no right to say that it "should not be done".

 

[Camgirl]

I started camming because I was laid off from my job at a CPA firm after 5 years during the height of unemployment in Florida. I didn't "WANT" to cam, but after a year of unemployment and the inability to get a job ANYWHERE in Florida that could support me and my daughter I didn't "WANT" to be homeless. Even though it was something I didn't really "want" to do, I did it, and it was the BEST.DECISION.EVER!

But now you like it. She's tried it and does NOT enjoy it. There's a big difference.

There is a difference between liking the things the money provides and liking "it". I think that is the point you are missing. It is okay to like camming "just for the money".

That's where we'll have to agree to disagree.
I believe that doing sexual things JUST for money can be more psychologically damaging than doing non-sexual things JUST for money. Therefore, should not be done. ESPECIALLY when you have a child and need to be mentally fit for them.
You obviously disagree with those statements. That's okay. But one of us is right and the other is wrong. Guess we'll never know until it is deemed fact in the psychology world.

If you are getting no pleasure from it then absolutely I agree. I think we are splitting hairs here, but actually agree. I get a lot of enjoyment from camming. Most of that has to do with the money camming provides me. I DO like camming. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it. I like it because I get paid a lot of money to masturbate. I dunno, that seems like its about the money to me?

 

[Camgirl]

I think that the confusion here is assuming that everyone has certain emotions attached to sexual activity. Some people are not psychologically damaged by being sexual for money because they do not attach the same emotions to sex as others, therefore, doing it "just for the money" is psychologically the same to them as doing anything else "just for the money".

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I started camming because I was laid off from my job at a CPA firm after 5 years during the height of unemployment in Florida. I didn't "WANT" to cam, but after a year of unemployment and the inability to get a job ANYWHERE in Florida that could support me and my daughter I didn't "WANT" to be homeless. Even though it was something I didn't really "want" to do, I did it, and it was the BEST.DECISION.EVER!

But now you like it. She's tried it and does NOT enjoy it. There's a big difference.

There is a difference between liking the things the money provides and liking "it". I think that is the point you are missing. It is okay to like camming "just for the money".

That's where we'll have to agree to disagree.
I believe that doing sexual things JUST for money can be more psychologically damaging than doing non-sexual things JUST for money. Therefore, should not be done. ESPECIALLY when you have a child and need to be mentally fit for them.
You obviously disagree with those statements. That's okay. But one of us is right and the other is wrong. Guess we'll never know until it is deemed fact in the psychology world.

:roll: CAN BE. CAN BE more damaging. It can ALSO go the other way around. The fact that there are girls explaining that they have had this exact experience should be proof/"fact" enough for you.

I have not heard of one girl who is OUT of the sex industry (it takes time to self-reflect), who has spoke about hating sex work, doing it anyways, and having no damage from it. Please quote someone who has had this experience. I see no one thus far.
And yes, I used the word, "CAN." I used it because I have already stated that not EVERY girl has psychological damage from hating sex work. I just stated that they are at higher risk for damage then non-sex workers. I've seen psychologists my whole life. I've talked to them about these things. They all agree. I've also seen several instances where this was true.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I think that the confusion here is assuming that everyone

No, I think the confusion here is that people think I'm referring to EVERYONE. I almost never group EVERYONE as a whole because we are all so unique. I simply stated that she is at a higher risk of damage if she hates sex work and does it anyways.

 

[Camgirl]

I think that the confusion here is assuming that everyone

No, I think the confusion here is that people think I'm referring to EVERYONE. I almost never group EVERYONE as a whole because we are all so unique. I simply stated that she is at a higher risk of damage if she hates sex work and does it anyways.

I guess I missed something. I thought we had moved on from the OP and were discussing whether or not a sex worker can do sex work JUST for the money and remain mentally in tact.

Then I agree, doing sex work for JUST money while you are totally miserable will result in mental issues. If the person attaches sexual activity to their self worth, than it will totally effect them differently then if they were miserable doing a vanilla job.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I think that the confusion here is assuming that everyone

No, I think the confusion here is that people think I'm referring to EVERYONE. I almost never group EVERYONE as a whole because we are all so unique. I simply stated that she is at a higher risk of damage if she hates sex work and does it anyways.

I guess I missed something. I thought we had moved on from the OP and were discussing whether or not a sex worker can do sex work JUST for the money and remain mentally in tact.

Yes, we are. I should have said, she and everyone else who dislikes sex work and does it anyways is at a higher risk of mental damage, than those who are non-sex workers.
Once again, just to be clear. NOT EVERYONE, just a higher risk.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I started camming because I was laid off from my job at a CPA firm after 5 years during the height of unemployment in Florida. I didn't "WANT" to cam, but after a year of unemployment and the inability to get a job ANYWHERE in Florida that could support me and my daughter I didn't "WANT" to be homeless. Even though it was something I didn't really "want" to do, I did it, and it was the BEST.DECISION.EVER!

But now you like it. She's tried it and does NOT enjoy it. There's a big difference.

There is a difference between liking the things the money provides and liking "it". I think that is the point you are missing. It is okay to like camming "just for the money".

That's where we'll have to agree to disagree.
I believe that doing sexual things JUST for money can be more psychologically damaging than doing non-sexual things JUST for money. Therefore, should not be done. ESPECIALLY when you have a child and need to be mentally fit for them.
You obviously disagree with those statements. That's okay. But one of us is right and the other is wrong. Guess we'll never know until it is deemed fact in the psychology world.

If you are getting no pleasure from it then absolutely I agree. I think we are splitting hairs here, but actually agree. I get a lot of enjoyment from camming. Most of that has to do with the money camming provides me. I DO like camming. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it. I like it because I get paid a lot of money to masturbate. I dunno, that seems like its about the money to me?

For me I take it as you like masturbating and money. I don't know you, so please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I assume you also like the fact that you make your own hours? Maybe the good conversations you have? Feeling pretty while wearing cute lingerie? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are not in it JUST for the money.

 

[VeeValencia]

The only thing I'm getting from this thread is that this woman should not start camming.

As Megan said, we are all unique and we approach the job differently. I personally don't find sexual acts damaging but I can see how others might. If this fiance lady wants to cam for the "easy money" even though she really does not like what the job entails then I think she should just do as Jicky suggested and get assistance.

I mean she could give it a shot but she'll learn pretty quickly that trying to remain anonymous while hating what she does won't get her a new car anytime soon.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I don't think sex work is innately damaging (if I did, I wouldn't frequent camsites), certainly no more so than retail, or clerical work, or any other profession anyway. The problem isn't sex work itself, the problem is a society that shames sex workers and teaches people that sex is icky and selling sex makes you a lesser person. So in that sense, I can see sex work having a greater negative effect on someone than a retail job. A young woman who takes a minimum wage retail job purely for the money can just quit if she's unhappy and her decision to work in retail isn't going to haunt her. A young woman who starts camming purely for the money and then decides it's not for her though... there's the potential for that decision to make her truly unhappy for a long time to come. Maybe her family find out and disown her, maybe her friends find out and judge her, maybe her religious community shuns her for being a "devilish smut peddler", maybe she has difficulty finding employment as a result of camming, maybe she comes to resent her decision to start camming in the first place and blames herself instead of those around her being regressive shitsacks.

So I agree with Megan so far as camming and sex work being more damaging than retail or whatever else, but also agree with everyone saying that sex work is not innately damaging in and of itself. It's only a problem when outside factors (societal ignorance, silly stigmas, etc.) come into play. :twocents-02cents:

 

[Camgirl]

For me I take it as you like masturbating and money. I don't know you, so please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I assume you also like the fact that you make your own hours? Maybe the good conversations you have? Feeling pretty while wearing cute lingerie? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are not in it JUST for the money.

This is how I know we are just misunderstanding each other. Maybe "just" for the money is a poor choice of words. As I said in my earlier post, I enjoy the freedom camming gives me, which would include working my own hours, going on vacation whenever I want, not having to call in sick, Supporting myself and my daughter without fear of not being able to pay rent, being at every one of my daughters school events, etc. I connect those things to the money I get camming. I do not connect it to having good conversations or getting compliments. I would not log in to socialize or get compliments if I knew I was going to make $0. Those are not the reasons I cam. I cam for the money. While I enjoy that interaction, and have made a lot of friends camming, it is not part of why I do it...does that make sense?

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I don't think sex work is innately damaging (if I did, I wouldn't frequent camsites), certainly no more so than retail, or clerical work, or any other profession anyway. The problem isn't sex work itself, the problem is a society that shames sex workers and teaches people that sex is icky and selling sex makes you a lesser person. So in that sense, I can see sex work having a greater negative effect on someone than a retail job. A young woman who takes a minimum wage retail job purely for the money can just quit if she's unhappy and her decision to work in retail isn't going to haunt her. A young woman who starts camming purely for the money and then decides it's not for her though... there's the potential for that decision to make her truly unhappy for a long time to come. Maybe her family find out and disown her, maybe her friends find out and judge her, maybe her religious community shuns her for being a "devilish smut peddler", maybe she has difficulty finding employment as a result of camming, maybe she comes to resent her decision to start camming in the first place and blames herself instead of those around her being regressive shitsacks.

So I agree with Megan so far as camming and sex work being more damaging than retail or whatever else, but also agree with everyone saying that sex work is not innately damaging in and of itself. It's only a problem when outside factors (societal ignorance, silly stigmas, etc.) come into play. :twocents-02cents:

I think you could be right, in SOME instances. But I also think it could be a natural thing, for some, to hold sex upon a pedastool. Just like the craving to procreate. Some women have it, others don't. It has very little to do with society. It's just a natural instinct.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

For me I take it as you like masturbating and money. I don't know you, so please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I assume you also like the fact that you make your own hours? Maybe the good conversations you have? Feeling pretty while wearing cute lingerie? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are not in it JUST for the money.

This is how I know we are just misunderstanding each other. Maybe "just" for the money is a poor choice of words. As I said in my earlier post, I enjoy the freedom camming gives me, which would include working my own hours, going on vacation whenever I want, not having to call in sick, Supporting myself and my daughter without fear of not being able to pay rent, being at every one of my daughters school events, etc. I connect those things to the money I get camming. I do not connect it to having good conversations or getting compliments. I would not log in to socialize or get compliments if I knew I was going to make $0. Those are not the reasons I cam. I cam for the money. While I enjoy that interaction, and have made a lot of friends camming, it is not part of why I do it...does that make sense?

Yea, it does. I THINK we are on the same page, actually.

If anything, I think most of us can agree OP's girl should not be camming?? Or at least find a compromise where they are BOTH comfortable?

 

[Camgirl]

For me I take it as you like masturbating and money. I don't know you, so please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I assume you also like the fact that you make your own hours? Maybe the good conversations you have? Feeling pretty while wearing cute lingerie? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are not in it JUST for the money.

This is how I know we are just misunderstanding each other. Maybe "just" for the money is a poor choice of words. As I said in my earlier post, I enjoy the freedom camming gives me, which would include working my own hours, going on vacation whenever I want, not having to call in sick, Supporting myself and my daughter without fear of not being able to pay rent, being at every one of my daughters school events, etc. I connect those things to the money I get camming. I do not connect it to having good conversations or getting compliments. I would not log in to socialize or get compliments if I knew I was going to make $0. Those are not the reasons I cam. I cam for the money. While I enjoy that interaction, and have made a lot of friends camming, it is not part of why I do it...does that make sense?

Yea, it does. I THINK we are on the same page, actually.

If anything, I think most of us can agree OP's girl should not be camming?? Or at least find a compromise where they are BOTH comfortable?

Yep, I agreed with that about 50 posts ago

 

[missrosexox]

Bookmarking this thread so I can read it later and feel better the next time I'm sad about being single. Cuz wow.

Also I'm fucking tired of people saying that you shouldn't do sex work if it's "just" for the money. That's what a job is, for god's sake. Every single person in the world works "just" so they can clothe, feed, and shelter themselves. Stop acting like sex workers need some nobler, higher cause to justify their work because apparently refusing to live in poverty isn't a ~*good enough*~ reason to hustle.

Sex work IS different than other work. Period. If you cannot see those differences, I cannot possibly change your mind about that. Let me ask you this, though. What's more psychologically damaging? Being forced into prostitution or being forced to work at mcdonalds??? Prostitution. It's common sense (or suppose to be). Oh, but I thought you said they were the same thing. Let me put this clearly for you, they're not. She is going to be a mother. She needs to do everything in her power to be mentally fit. I can promise you she will walk away with mental issues if she dislikes sex work as much as her boyfriend says she does. You shouldn't do something that is going to possibly give you psychological damage just for money. There are too many other options out there. There is a LOT of support in this world. I grew up on soup kitchens and welfare and I was perfectly fine. Never once hungry.

Who the hell is talking about being forced into prostitution? Conflating human trafficking and consensual sex work is totally duplicitous and deliberately derailing, wtf are you even talking about.

I was using the example to show that doing sex work unwillingly OR disliking it and doing it anyways is more psychologically damaging than other 9-5 jobs. I thought that was pretty obvious, TBH.
What I gathered in your post is that you think 9-5 jobs are no different than sex work jobs. They are different. I don't think there is a (sane) psychologist in the world that would disagree with me.
I know a lot of girls that turned to sex work purely out of desperation and they are now FUCKED in the head. I know a lot of people that turned to McDonald's purely out of desperation. They may hate their lives, but they are not damaged like the sex workers are.

Hey, hi, masters of social work with 8+ years of experience as a professional counselor, including with sex working populations, here to disagree with you. Hey there.

But apparently I'm insane because I disagree with you. Right. Okay.

Sorry to hear you have so many friends who had bad experiences with sex work, but you might focus some of that passion on improving the conditions of our labor rather than accusing your colleagues of being actually or somehow especially susceptible to "mental damage" by virtue of our work.

I'm so done with this. Gonna go mentally damage myself For Just Money now ktnxbye.

 

[KylieJacobs]

I don't think any of us are doing this only for money. There are many benefits to it: you set your own work hours, you can take days off whenever you want, you're essentially running your own business, you are your own boss, etc. You have the freedom to show as much nudity or as little nudity as you want. At the same time, how many of us would cam if we didn't get paid for it?

As far sex work being damaging, I think one of the main reasons that it might be damaging is if you're doing (or forcing yourself to do) things on cam that you don't really want to do, but you think you need to because you'll make more money!

Personally, my last vanilla job was very damaging to me. It was a small family owned office. Everyone was very negative, and my boss was VERY verbally abusive (to me and my coworkers)! I worked there about 6 months longer than I should have, but I needed to in order to purchase my house. I still have some nightmares about working there.

:twocents-02cents:

 

[AmberCutie]

I imagine there may be an emotional difference between feeling forced into a job that made a girl uncomfortable for sexual reasons and forced into a job that she didn't like for other non-sexual reasons.

 

[Gen]

I imagine there may be an emotional difference between feeling forced into a job that made a girl uncomfortable for sexual reasons and forced into a job that she didn't like for other non-sexual reasons.

I agree. There's also no stigma surrounding working at a shitty office job; I think the stigma around sex work leads to social isolation (how often do people post on here "I wish I had a friend I could talk about camming with") and the pressure that a lot of sex workers have to maintain their cover story. Adding in risk of violence, rape, or getting arrested (if we're talking outside of camming as well), it makes total sense to me that people might get psychologically or emotionally "damaged" by this line of work.

As for psychologists, I will hopefully be one in about ten years so I will narco this thread then and let you know my thoughts :handgestures-salute: :lol:

 

[Sevrin]

The only thing I'm getting from this thread is that this woman should not start camming.

As Megan said, we are all unique and we approach the job differently. I personally don't find sexual acts damaging but I can see how others might. If this fiance lady wants to cam for the "easy money" even though she really does not like what the job entails then I think she should just do as Jicky suggested and get assistance.

I mean she could give it a shot but she'll learn pretty quickly that trying to remain anonymous while hating what she does won't get her a new car anytime soon.

See, I don't get that impression from BabyMama4U at all. We have not actually heard from her.

Timeline:

Was born.
> Became adult.
> Decided to try camming because it's the only kind of work available to her (?).
> Was camming successfully.
> Stops camming because of bf.
> Bf becomes ex-bf.
> Hooks up with zander145.
> Is knocked up by zander145<->Becomes engaged to be married to zander145. (order of events unclear)
> Decides car lacks sufficient doors.
> Wants to go back to online sex work to finance car (not a GD minivan!) with more doors.
> Things get fuzzy. Did she want to "cam" as per OP, escort on SL while wearing a niqab, induce boners telepathically?

Anyway, there *may* be some element of bullshit happening here, on account of zander145's being not all that excited about the pre-missus spreading the flower around the garden, and sometimes there's no need to be completely honest if someone's ego/feelings can be spared in the process. Not saying that's necessarily what's going on, but there seems a hint of a suggestion of a possibility that there's some impending-parenthood-induced temporary insanity going on here.

 

[MintyFlowers]

At the same time, how many of us would cam if we didn't get paid for it?

Sorry if this sounds rude or snotty, but how many of us would go into the office if we didn't get paid for it? How many of us would flip burgers if we didn't get paid for it?

I, personally would rather shake what my momma gave me and make a decent living... rather than making shakes for $8.00/hr AND have to deal with shitty people all day, err day... which, obviously a lot of us ladies have decided the same thing. :3 This is for our sake, and to give us a better standard of living.

 

[Deleted member 8603]

She's a grown ass woman.



Why doesn't she decide?
It really feels like since it's her body and her life, she's the only one with the right to decide if this will be the best course of action for her.


On the same note, I hope she knows about this post, because if I were with someone who went behind my back about my personal life decisions, I'd be pissed.

 

[MintyFlowers]

I imagine there may be an emotional difference between feeling forced into a job that made a girl uncomfortable for sexual reasons and forced into a job that she didn't like for other non-sexual reasons.

I agree. There's also no stigma surrounding working at a shitty office job; I think the stigma around sex work leads to social isolation (how often do people post on here "I wish I had a friend I could talk about camming with") and the pressure that a lot of sex workers have to maintain their cover story. Adding in risk of violence, rape, or getting arrested (if we're talking outside of camming as well), it makes total sense to me that people might get psychologically or emotionally "damaged" by this line of work.

As for psychologists, I will hopefully be one in about ten years so I will narco this thread then and let you know my thoughts :handgestures-salute: :lol:

Totally off topic Gen, but are you planning to get into research?
I just wonder because as women in both the field of psychology and sex work, I don't know how much our findings would be accepted in academic review mostly because they would, understandably, question our findings because of possible bias.
Or are you going to do clinical work?

 

[VeeValencia]

The only thing I'm getting from this thread is that this woman should not start camming.

As Megan said, we are all unique and we approach the job differently. I personally don't find sexual acts damaging but I can see how others might. If this fiance lady wants to cam for the "easy money" even though she really does not like what the job entails then I think she should just do as Jicky suggested and get assistance.

I mean she could give it a shot but she'll learn pretty quickly that trying to remain anonymous while hating what she does won't get her a new car anytime soon.

See, I don't get that impression from BabyMama4U at all. We have not actually heard from her.

Timeline:

Was born.
> Became adult.
> Decided to try camming because it's the only kind of work available to her (?).
> Was camming successfully.
> Stops camming because of bf.
> Bf becomes ex-bf.
> Hooks up with zander145.
> Is knocked up by zander145<->Becomes engaged to be married to zander145. (order of events unclear)
> Decides car lacks sufficient doors.
> Wants to go back to online sex work to finance car (not a GD minivan!) with more doors.
> Things get fuzzy. Did she want to "cam" as per OP, escort on SL while wearing a niqab, induce boners telepathically?

Anyway, there *may* be some element of bullshit happening here, on account of zander145's being not all that excited about the pre-missus spreading the flower around the garden, and sometimes there's no need to be completely honest if someone's ego/feelings can be spared in the process. Not saying that's necessarily what's going on, but there seems a hint of a suggestion of a possibility that there's some impending-parenthood-induced temporary insanity going on here.

I agree. We haven't actually heard from her so I guess I see her as this hypothetical person who never enjoyed camming.

Honestly, I just find it odd that he's asking all the questions. If she's actually interested in camming again then I guess she should but it seems to be an issue with Zander here.

Idk, this discussion is just kind of odd to me.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

Bookmarking this thread so I can read it later and feel better the next time I'm sad about being single. Cuz wow.

Also I'm fucking tired of people saying that you shouldn't do sex work if it's "just" for the money. That's what a job is, for god's sake. Every single person in the world works "just" so they can clothe, feed, and shelter themselves. Stop acting like sex workers need some nobler, higher cause to justify their work because apparently refusing to live in poverty isn't a ~*good enough*~ reason to hustle.

Sex work IS different than other work. Period. If you cannot see those differences, I cannot possibly change your mind about that. Let me ask you this, though. What's more psychologically damaging? Being forced into prostitution or being forced to work at mcdonalds??? Prostitution. It's common sense (or suppose to be). Oh, but I thought you said they were the same thing. Let me put this clearly for you, they're not. She is going to be a mother. She needs to do everything in her power to be mentally fit. I can promise you she will walk away with mental issues if she dislikes sex work as much as her boyfriend says she does. You shouldn't do something that is going to possibly give you psychological damage just for money. There are too many other options out there. There is a LOT of support in this world. I grew up on soup kitchens and welfare and I was perfectly fine. Never once hungry.

Who the hell is talking about being forced into prostitution? Conflating human trafficking and consensual sex work is totally duplicitous and deliberately derailing, wtf are you even talking about.

I was using the example to show that doing sex work unwillingly OR disliking it and doing it anyways is more psychologically damaging than other 9-5 jobs. I thought that was pretty obvious, TBH.
What I gathered in your post is that you think 9-5 jobs are no different than sex work jobs. They are different. I don't think there is a (sane) psychologist in the world that would disagree with me.
I know a lot of girls that turned to sex work purely out of desperation and they are now FUCKED in the head. I know a lot of people that turned to McDonald's purely out of desperation. They may hate their lives, but they are not damaged like the sex workers are.

Hey, hi, masters of social work with 8+ years of experience as a professional counselor, including with sex working populations, here to disagree with you. Hey there.

But apparently I'm insane because I disagree with you. Right. Okay.

Sorry to hear you have so many friends who had bad experiences with sex work, but you might focus some of that passion on improving the conditions of our labor rather than accusing your colleagues of being actually or somehow especially susceptible to "mental damage" by virtue of our work.

I'm so done with this. Gonna go mentally damage myself For Just Money now ktnxbye.

But apparently I'm insane because I disagree with you. Right. Okay.

Not insane, just wrong. :thumbleft:

but you might focus some of that passion on improving the conditions of our labor rather than accusing your colleagues of being actually or somehow especially susceptible to "mental damage" by virtue of our work.

If I knew how to improve sex work, I most certainly would. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about the guy that fingers a dancer unwillingly during her lap dance. There's nothing I can do about the women who hate sex work, yet do it anyways. There's nothing I can do about the men who treat women like dogs on porn sets. The most I can do is speak out against it and vote for laws that minimize it.

Gonna go mentally damage myself For Just Money now ktnxbye.

:lol: Mature.
Once AGAIN, for the 5th time? Not ALL women are damaged after doing sex work and hating it. You may be one of the ones that are perfectly fine afterwards, we won't know until after you're done with the industry.

It's just SO disheartening to hear how many women dislike this line of work and still do it. Makes me very sad for you and at the same time, very thankful I do not share those feelings.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

She's a grown ass woman.



Why doesn't she decide?
It really feels like since it's her body and her life, she's the only one with the right to decide if this will be the best course of action for her.


On the same note, I hope she knows about this post, because if I were with someone who went behind my back about my personal life decisions, I'd be pissed.

When you're in a relationship, it's NOT just about you. And if you think it is, stay single. They, as a COUPLE, should decide what's best for THEM. NOT JUST HER.

And yes, I hope she see's this post. Lot's of wisdom in this thread.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

The only thing I'm getting from this thread is that this woman should not start camming.

As Megan said, we are all unique and we approach the job differently. I personally don't find sexual acts damaging but I can see how others might. If this fiance lady wants to cam for the "easy money" even though she really does not like what the job entails then I think she should just do as Jicky suggested and get assistance.

I mean she could give it a shot but she'll learn pretty quickly that trying to remain anonymous while hating what she does won't get her a new car anytime soon.

See, I don't get that impression from BabyMama4U at all. We have not actually heard from her.

Timeline:

Was born.
> Became adult.
> Decided to try camming because it's the only kind of work available to her (?).
> Was camming successfully.
> Stops camming because of bf.
> Bf becomes ex-bf.
> Hooks up with zander145.
> Is knocked up by zander145<->Becomes engaged to be married to zander145. (order of events unclear)
> Decides car lacks sufficient doors.
> Wants to go back to online sex work to finance car (not a GD minivan!) with more doors.
> Things get fuzzy. Did she want to "cam" as per OP, escort on SL while wearing a niqab, induce boners telepathically?

Anyway, there *may* be some element of bullshit happening here, on account of zander145's being not all that excited about the pre-missus spreading the flower around the garden, and sometimes there's no need to be completely honest if someone's ego/feelings can be spared in the process. Not saying that's necessarily what's going on, but there seems a hint of a suggestion of a possibility that there's some impending-parenthood-induced temporary insanity going on here.

I agree. We haven't actually heard from her so I guess I see her as this hypothetical person who never enjoyed camming.

Same here.

 

[Deleted member 8603]

She's a grown ass woman.



Why doesn't she decide?
It really feels like since it's her body and her life, she's the only one with the right to decide if this will be the best course of action for her.


On the same note, I hope she knows about this post, because if I were with someone who went behind my back about my personal life decisions, I'd be pissed.

When you're in a relationship, it's NOT just about you. And if you think it is, stay single. They, as a COUPLE, should decide what's best for THEM. NOT JUST HER.

And yes, I hope she see's this post. Lot's of wisdom in this thread.

There's a difference between sitting down and letting her have a say in what she wants to do and going onto the internet and saying

"hi, strangers, help me tell my wife what to do with her life!"

He shouldn't be talking to us about this, he should be having a sit down discussion with his wife and asking her HER opinions and listing his concerns to HER.
She hasn't had a say in ANY of the discussion occurring here.
There's a difference between making a decision together and him going off and making the decision without the person whose body it concerns.

 

[JickyJuly]

She's a grown ass woman.



Why doesn't she decide?
It really feels like since it's her body and her life, she's the only one with the right to decide if this will be the best course of action for her.


On the same note, I hope she knows about this post, because if I were with someone who went behind my back about my personal life decisions, I'd be pissed.

When you're in a relationship, it's NOT just about you. And if you think it is, stay single. They, as a COUPLE, should decide what's best for THEM. NOT JUST HER.

And yes, I hope she see's this post. Lot's of wisdom in this thread.

I disagree with it being about them. A parent's priority should be their child. If she feels that camming is the best way to provide for their kid, she has the right to do it. I love my husband. I take my position as a wife seriously. But, unless he can afford to give my baby everything I want her to have, he needs to get out of the way while I make the money. This guy should focus his efforts on getting money instead of debating how he feels about sex work.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

She's a grown ass woman.



Why doesn't she decide?
It really feels like since it's her body and her life, she's the only one with the right to decide if this will be the best course of action for her.


On the same note, I hope she knows about this post, because if I were with someone who went behind my back about my personal life decisions, I'd be pissed.

When you're in a relationship, it's NOT just about you. And if you think it is, stay single. They, as a COUPLE, should decide what's best for THEM. NOT JUST HER.

And yes, I hope she see's this post. Lot's of wisdom in this thread.

There's a difference between sitting down and letting her have a say in what she wants to do and going onto the internet and saying

"hi, strangers, help me tell my wife what to do with her life!"

He shouldn't be talking to us about this, he should be having a sit down discussion with his wife and asking her HER opinions and listing his concerns to HER.
She hasn't had a say in ANY of the discussion occurring here.
There's a difference between making a decision together and him going off and making the decision without the person whose body it concerns.

I fully agree with that. That's just not how your previous post came across. It came across as he should have no say in what she does with her body. That' s what I disagree with. You might have just worded it badly, though. *shrugs*

 

[Jayne_Black]

At the same time, how many of us would cam if we didn't get paid for it?

Sorry if this sounds rude or snotty, but how many of us would go into the office if we didn't get paid for it? How many of us would flip burgers if we didn't get paid for it?

I, personally would rather shake what my momma gave me and make a decent living... rather than making shakes for $8.00/hr AND have to deal with shitty people all day, err day... which, obviously a lot of us ladies have decided the same thing. :3 This is for our sake, and to give us a better standard of living.

Yes!! Agree with this 100% and would like to add, that I love my other (vanilla) job, even though it doesn't pay enough for me to support myself. I enjoy every moment that I'm working my non-camming job. I love it so much that I would actually do it for free in certain circumstances (and I have in the past).

Camming is a way for me to support myself so that I can keep a job that I love that doesn't pay well, and I am more than happy to "shake what my momma gave me" if it means maintaining my current lifestyle and hopefully attaining a better standard of living. I see nothing wrong with "sex-work" if you have the personality type that fits into that mold. I think the bottom line is that no one should be doing anything they don't want to do, and all of that is subjective.

One persons version of hell could be flipping burgers for minimum wage, another persons version could be sex-work. It's all a matter of individual preference, and therefore this conversation is probably better had with your fiancé than with anybody else.