Doing better in solo than in couple

[Capryce]

Hello ladies

I thought maybe you could give me some advices for quite a delicate problem, maybe some of you already have the same issue and managed to work things out, so here I am asking for your help. I searched this forum and couldn't find any similar topic.

My bf and I (long term serious relationship) have started camming about 4 months ago, we both have a vanilla job so we do it occasionnaly. Most of the time we're doing ok, just not so great. In free chat we get tons of freeloaders but we make the most money on private shows. We have an interactive Lush, a large tip menu and games to spice things up, but it's not very effective.

Anyway, last week my bf wasn't home so I logged on by myself. And I just couldn't believe it! People chat more, they actually use the apps and the tip menu... long story short, I've made the same amount of tokens in one hour than we usually do in one whole evening!

Two days ago I went on cam by myself to see if this would work again, and it did! I made great money and I had so much fun! During the show, two of our "regulars" (let's call em this way, they're not the best tippers but they're here almost everytime we broadcast) told me that they feel more relaxed when I'm alone, they feel less "shy" to ask for a flash tits or pussy, or basically anything I can do solo.

I have to admit they're right. This is not our main job but I tend to put all my heart into it. I have to admit my bf's behavior on cam is not always so great: he doesn't speak english so I have to translate everything they say, which is annoying. Sometimes he looks bored on cam while I do the talk with the customers. We have another problem during private shows when we're asked to have sex: I must look at the screen anytime to see what the custie is writing, I have to manage our positions because my bf tends to put his hand/leg/arm where the "action" happens, so... it's kind of hard to stay focused and turned on with all that in mind.

What do you think I should do? We first started camming for fun and to get closer to each other, so far it hasn't done any harm to our couple, but I can't stop thinking I could be doing way better without him. I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything, but I feel less and less motivated to go on cam when we're together. Any of you have experienced the same situation?

Thanks for reading me, lots of love to all of you

 

[JoleneBrody]

What if he just hung out off cam and did his own thing while you, solo, worked up a show goal towards a B/G fuck show and then he just came in for the show. Assign someone worthy to mod and ban dum drums and just put your attention into the great sex, not worrying about what’s being said in the chat or what they can see? Just deliver an authentic, passionate display and sex that doesn’t require he talk or even care about what’s on the screen.

Sounds like a hot show honestly.

 

[Emberblaze]

You could make him your mod instead? He can handle the computer side and you can quickly tell him who to ban/silence etc. So he's still involved.

Let people know if he's there and he's available for bj shows or something. Sell b/g vids.

But if you guys could use the money he may just have to learn to take a back seat on the situation. Women tend to make more than couples.

 

[violetismyname]

Is he as into it as you are? You said he looks bored, is he actually? Once you talk to him about it maybe you'll find that it works best for both of you!

 

[SMuser69]

Hello ladies

I thought maybe you could give me some advices for quite a delicate problem, maybe some of you already have the same issue and managed to work things out, so here I am asking for your help. I searched this forum and couldn't find any similar topic.

My bf and I (long term serious relationship) have started camming about 4 months ago, we both have a vanilla job so we do it occasionnaly. Most of the time we're doing ok, just not so great. In free chat we get tons of freeloaders but we make the most money on private shows. We have an interactive Lush, a large tip menu and games to spice things up, but it's not very effective.

Anyway, last week my bf wasn't home so I logged on by myself. And I just couldn't believe it! People chat more, they actually use the apps and the tip menu... long story short, I've made the same amount of tokens in one hour than we usually do in one whole evening!

Two days ago I went on cam by myself to see if this would work again, and it did! I made great money and I had so much fun! During the show, two of our "regulars" (let's call em this way, they're not the best tippers but they're here almost everytime we broadcast) told me that they feel more relaxed when I'm alone, they feel less "shy" to ask for a flash tits or pussy, or basically anything I can do solo.

I have to admit they're right. This is not our main job but I tend to put all my heart into it. I have to admit my bf's behavior on cam is not always so great: he doesn't speak english so I have to translate everything they say, which is annoying. Sometimes he looks bored on cam while I do the talk with the customers. We have another problem during private shows when we're asked to have sex: I must look at the screen anytime to see what the custie is writing, I have to manage our positions because my bf tends to put his hand/leg/arm where the "action" happens, so... it's kind of hard to stay focused and turned on with all that in mind.

What do you think I should do? We first started camming for fun and to get closer to each other, so far it hasn't done any harm to our couple, but I can't stop thinking I could be doing way better without him. I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything, but I feel less and less motivated to go on cam when we're together. Any of you have experienced the same situation?

Thanks for reading me, lots of love to all of you

From a member's perspective working with couples that aren't veterans can be difficult. In my opinion members don't like dealing with two people, they want one person in charge and understanding what's being requested. If you look at veteran couples that have been at it for years, normally the male is almost a stunt cock and you're dealing exclusively with the female when arranging what will happen during the private. The other issue is 'natural' sex doesn't come off well on camera just like it's awkward when people use 'porn angles' in their real lives. Also sometimes the natural reactions don't come out well on camera either. Most models act like they're being electrocuted by their Lush so imagine how dull a blowjob can come off through a camera is the couple isn't overacting. It's hard to act and have interaction with your REAL partner and him remaining hard on command.

Not saying it can't be done, but couples have a new set of barriers because they're also performing for others not just indulging themselves.

Unless camming voyeurism is why you're working together I think he can understand if you want to take the path that makes more money. To be honest I wouldn't make him a mod in your room either if he has trouble dealing with members live whatever it is that's bothering him will just come out when he mods and ultimately might lose you money also.

 

[Capryce]

Thank you for your answers girls, and it's always helpful to have a member's point of view as well.

I could not make my boyfriend a mod as he won't be able to interact with other people (unless they're french), besides, I don't feel comfortable when he's standing next to me watching me. Also, he can't get hard on command lol. I couldn't just ask him to join me and fuck me because somebody tipped for a sex show

In his opinion, people who come to our room don't care about his presence and only come to see me, but I've been watching several couples on cam, and men were not just "human dildos" lol. They were genuinely playing with their girlfriend, touching her, praising her, making her feel good...

Several times he's been asked "how can you stay so still with such a beauty by your side?" I'm not saying this to brag or show off, don't get me wrong, but it sure does mean that he does nothing exciting for the show. I feel like I have to manage all aspects of our shows and it's very tiring at the end.

My real problem is that I'm afraid he would be very angry if I decided to cam on my own, and figuring out a compromise is very tricky

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Thank you for your answers girls, and it's always helpful to have a member's point of view as well.

I could not make my boyfriend a mod as he won't be able to interact with other people (unless they're french), besides, I don't feel comfortable when he's standing next to me watching me. Also, he can't get hard on command lol. I couldn't just ask him to join me and fuck me because somebody tipped for a sex show

In his opinion, people who come to our room don't care about his presence and only come to see me, but I've been watching several couples on cam, and men were not just "human dildos" lol. They were genuinely playing with their girlfriend, touching her, praising her, making her feel good...

Several times he's been asked "how can you stay so still with such a beauty by your side?" I'm not saying this to brag or show off, don't get me wrong, but it sure does mean that he does nothing exciting for the show. I feel like I have to manage all aspects of our shows and it's very tiring at the end.

My real problem is that I'm afraid he would be very angry if I decided to cam on my own, and figuring out a compromise is very tricky

I think if the two of you have a genuine, heart to heart discussion on camming, it'll be good for both of you. It sounds like he may not be fully into it, so he may agree that your going solo is best. Hopefully he is understanding, and doesn't cause issues between the two of you. The challenge is figuring out how to "sell" it to him that it's beneficial to go solo. One way is monetary, as you've seen. Another possibility is that it may actually help the relationship more. In a thread here, some of the models have commented that camming has helped their body image, sex drive and relationship with their partner. So, might reap some rewards simply be being understanding and let you do your own thing.

From another member's perspective, I've found that dealing with couples to be a little challenging. The guy either makes it uncomfortable for members in the room, or tries to control the room. I won't say that all couples are this way, only the few times I've been in rooms where a model has a guy there as a B/G show.

 

[sweethornydreams]

We are an american couple and we do better in our couple shows most nights than I do in a solo show.

 

[Pira]

Thank you for your answers girls, and it's always helpful to have a member's point of view as well.

I could not make my boyfriend a mod as he won't be able to interact with other people (unless they're french), besides, I don't feel comfortable when he's standing next to me watching me. Also, he can't get hard on command lol. I couldn't just ask him to join me and fuck me because somebody tipped for a sex show

In his opinion, people who come to our room don't care about his presence and only come to see me, but I've been watching several couples on cam, and men were not just "human dildos" lol. They were genuinely playing with their girlfriend, touching her, praising her, making her feel good...

Several times he's been asked "how can you stay so still with such a beauty by your side?" I'm not saying this to brag or show off, don't get me wrong, but it sure does mean that he does nothing exciting for the show. I feel like I have to manage all aspects of our shows and it's very tiring at the end.

My real problem is that I'm afraid he would be very angry if I decided to cam on my own, and figuring out a compromise is very tricky

if your boyfriend is angry if you want to cam on your own....that's his problem, not yours. if you really want to cam alone, and he wasn't supporting that, would he be a very good partner?

 

[Mila_]

Why don't you ask him how he feels about the shows you are doing together? Maybe he isn't as into it as you think...?

 

[JickyJuly]

Unless your chemistry together comes through really well on camera or he's the kind of dude most dudes want to be, you'll definitely make more alone. It seems like partners doing clips together is lucrative? Have you talked about that as an option together? You could cam alone to have a bit more internet presence as well to push your clips and do clips as a team.

 

[Capryce]

He doesn't really like the idea of making clips, beacuse it could end up anywhere on the internet... Well that's the risk I know I take, even when we broadcast I know somebody could be recording us, it has not stopped me from doing it. Even though we could make clips where his face is not to bee seen, he cares I might get found out. It doesn't matter to me, enven if a friend or a family found out, so what? Thank to all of you for your precious advices, I'll try to get him to make clips, and I'll let you know how it turns out

 

[Emberblaze]

He doesn't really like the idea of making clips, beacuse it could end up anywhere on the internet... Well that's the risk I know I take, even when we broadcast I know somebody could be recording us, it has not stopped me from doing it. Even though we could make clips where his face is not to bee seen, he cares I might get found out. It doesn't matter to me, enven if a friend or a family found out, so what? Thank to all of you for your precious advices, I'll try to get him to make clips, and I'll let you know how it turns out

Every single public show you have ever done has already been screen grabbed and uploaded somewhere. Bots record every single public thing that happens on charturbate.

He's already all over the Internet.

 

[Capryce]

Every single public show you have ever done has already been screen grabbed and uploaded somewhere. Bots record every single public thing that happens on charturbate.

He's already all over the Internet.

I know I just haven't had the guts to google my name yet, but I'm sure we are!!

 

[dark_mermaid]

Reading what you wrote I believe you are a fantastic entertainer on cam. I can only agree with what was said, talk to him if he really even wants to do this and if he's comfortable with it. If he is, tricky situation between you two. Jealousy could become a factor. As for the audience, for my biggest tipper I'm the fantasy girlfriend substitute. If I started camming with my boyfriend I'm very sure he would not watch or tip me, maybe even leave me. I've read often that solo girls do better than with the partner but as always there are cases where it's different for sure.

 

[JoleneBrody]

He doesn't really like the idea of making clips, beacuse it could end up anywhere on the internet... Well that's the risk I know I take, even when we broadcast I know somebody could be recording us, it has not stopped me from doing it. Even though we could make clips where his face is not to bee seen, he cares I might get found out. It doesn't matter to me, enven if a friend or a family found out, so what? Thank to all of you for your precious advices, I'll try to get him to make clips, and I'll let you know how it turns out

You’re live shows are 1000% more likely to be recorded and spread all over than clips

 

[Marixclyde]

Thank you for your answers girls, and it's always helpful to have a member's point of view as well.

I could not make my boyfriend a mod as he won't be able to interact with other people (unless they're french), besides, I don't feel comfortable when he's standing next to me watching me. Also, he can't get hard on command lol. I couldn't just ask him to join me and fuck me because somebody tipped for a sex show

In his opinion, people who come to our room don't care about his presence and only come to see me, but I've been watching several couples on cam, and men were not just "human dildos" lol. They were genuinely playing with their girlfriend, touching her, praising her, making her feel good...

Several times he's been asked "how can you stay so still with such a beauty by your side?" I'm not saying this to brag or show off, don't get me wrong, but it sure does mean that he does nothing exciting for the show. I feel like I have to manage all aspects of our shows and it's very tiring at the end.

My real problem is that I'm afraid he would be very angry if I decided to cam on my own, and figuring out a compromise is very tricky

I also cam with my BF on Chaturbate and I cam alone on MFC. We speak French and English fluently but French usually together so our struggle is jumping from one language to the other and also we both try to take control so that sometimes can cause little awkward moments ahah

 

[Deleted member 37064]

He doesn't really like the idea of making clips, beacuse it could end up anywhere on the internet... Well that's the risk I know I take, even when we broadcast I know somebody could be recording us, it has not stopped me from doing it. Even though we could make clips where his face is not to bee seen, he cares I might get found out. It doesn't matter to me, enven if a friend or a family found out, so what? Thank to all of you for your precious advices, I'll try to get him to make clips, and I'll let you know how it turns out

Maybe I'm wrong. But, it sounds like he's an "Either I do it with you. Or, we don't at all" kind of guy when it comes to cam and doesn't realize the risks of anything online being found out.

 

[Pia]

Very interesting to read your story 'cause is very similar to mine. My boyfriend and I started camming together but long story short, he was available to cam with me once a week and I really wanted to quit my vanilla job, so he told me "you should cam alone", one year doing it, my vanilla job is only like 10% of my time (I keep building experience in that field) and I have to say that when we are a couple show we reach many people who interact, play games with us, make a lot of interesting and funny privates. Opposite whenever I'm alone... I don't reach a lot of ppl buut about money I have to say that you are right, I tend to make much more money when I'm alone. Now, lets go to the point. When you are together I recommend you play a little bit off cam, like tickles, funny jokes, idk... so you and ur boy get into the funny mood, it works with me and my VERY shy boyfriend. Your boy NEEDS to understand that he's not just a penis also live porn is super competitive since there are tons of free porn videos all over the internet or better cam rooms, is not all about "getting paid to fuck" you need to create a cozy environment where you BOTH feel good. We are not only "genitals being exposed" on the Internet, we are ppl sharing and interacting. Although he doesnt speak English, I bet he can participate with a smile, saying -hello, welcome-, sexy dance, teasing... I mean, they opened the "couples" section and they are expecting something from both of you. That said... now I'll try to suggest you tell him about your idea to solo cam, ALONE in a comfortable place. I remember when I started solo camming and I was veeery uncomfortable because my boyfriend was by my side, so I did it all alone when he wasn't at home, then I started to feel better about and nowadays he's my mod (when he's not camming) Sometimes I start my show alone and after I reach my goals my boyfriend comes and join the show, that works good for us!! Anyways... If you feel the desire of becoming a pro cam girl instead of doing it just because is a fun hobby, you should have a very long and deep conversation about it. You should make it clear in both sides asap, because once you start... ur face and genitals are all over the internet. I don't want to be "mean" but there's no turning back despite all the ways to "erase" your videos (stolen from your shows or recorded by a fucking bot) If someone knows your user name in chaturbate/sm/mfc... can easily find you and even without your name a stolen video could pop in the "amateur couple" "cam show" section in porhube or what-ever-tube!! Just imagine that in pornhube I've found recorded shows from twitch xD obviously stolen from the streamers, now compare it to chaturbate, u get my point? Your boyfriend needs to understand that this is the risk, camming is not a game. Even if you hide your face and very particular features... there's a chance for people to recognize you. If he's not happy with that, he should stop now because the more shows you give, the more stolen material is out there. Good luck girl!! I hope you find solo/couple camming as exciting as I did!! Best wishes.

 

[Pira]

wait...two people disagreed with my post saying a woman should be able to do what she wants and not let a guy control her (i.e. not let her cam solo)? am i missing something? OP said she puts all of her heart into cam, isn't it kinda not great for a partner to see that passion in their partner and decide to not "let them" pursue the thing they love?

 

[Carmita Bonita]

wait...two people disagreed with my post saying a woman should be able to do what she wants and not let a guy control her (i.e. not let her cam solo)? am i missing something? OP said she puts all of her heart into cam, isn't it kinda not great for a partner to see that passion in their partner and decide to not "let them" pursue the thing they love?

For the most part I agree. It's gross to me to think of any guy 'letting' me do anything. Whenever dudes ask me "wow your bf lets you do this??" it makes me think they imagine me asking my partner for permission to do everything with him having the final say rather than making decisions together or discussing things. But at the same time, I can see the bfs side of it too-dating a cam model isn't for everyone. Also on the other hand, I can't imagine holding myself or my partner back from something I'm/they're passionate about. *shrug*

I'm so glad I was already a camgirl when I met my bf because I don't think I'd quit for anyone ever lol

 

[SMuser69]

wait...two people disagreed with my post saying a woman should be able to do what she wants and not let a guy control her (i.e. not let her cam solo)? am i missing something? OP said she puts all of her heart into cam, isn't it kinda not great for a partner to see that passion in their partner and decide to not "let them" pursue the thing they love?

I disagree because of 3 reasons.

1. This isn't a case of 'I was a model and my BF is trying to change me'. From what was written, she wasn't a model at the beginning of this relationship. They made a choice AS A COUPLE to cam. If you start things as a couple you can't write off either person in decisions. This is part of a partnership.

2. The choice to cam might have been for different reasons. Again the OP would need to clarify, but it sounds like the initial decision to cam might had not been for money but as a couple activity. Just because she later discovered how financially lucrative her solo work might be doesn't remove the initial fact the money might not factored into the initial camming decision.

3. There a language barrier at work for one of them. The BF because he doesn't know english may not feel he's in complete understanding of the situation being explained to him. The OP also understands that his performance as a couple is definitely being hampered by this issue. Again trying to work through these sort of small issues strengthens couples, bypassing or excluding a person instead of talking about it is not healthy.

A disagreement in a relationship isn't 'controlling'. I don't see where he's forced her to do anything, at the same time suggesting people should throw away relationships because one side doesn't like something is horrible advise in general.

What's needed here is for them to first both tell each other WHY they are camming. If they weren't BOTH there for the money then what needs to be discussed is how important getting money this ways is for BOTH of them. Only then can she make a case for 'Money will be made fast if I work alone'.

 

[Capryce]

Maybe I'm wrong. But, it sounds like he's an "Either I do it with you. Or, we don't at all" kind of guy when it comes to cam and doesn't realize the risks of anything online being found out.

Well I have good news! We talked about it yesterday, and surprisingly, I didn't even had to ask him! He told me that I could always cam alone if I wanted, and when I'd need him for a specific show, he would join me if he's available. I was scared for nothing after all, he totally understands and sees how much I put my heart into it, I feel so relieved that he supports me. We even talked about making videoclips, but first we have to learn, as we're totally noobs in this section

Thanks again to all of you

 

[Morganjanelle]

Well I have good news! We talked about it yesterday, and surprisingly, I didn't even had to ask him! He told me that I could always cam alone if I wanted, and when I'd need him for a specific show, he would join me if he's available. I was scared for nothing after all, he totally understands and sees how much I put my heart into it, I feel so relieved that he supports me. We even talked about making videoclips, but first we have to learn, as we're totally noobs in this section

Thanks again to all of you

This was such a heart warming ending to a wild ride. Glad it all worked out. People who support us are irreplaceable.