A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[misterical]

Fucking hell. I leave you all for 8 hours so I can go sleep and what do I come back to? I'm off to make a dozen cups of coffee and have a damn good read.

 

[misterical]

So an update...my last conversation with this model was a few days before New Years. I think it might wind up being the last conversation. I'm feeling like I've been working through it steadily (not completely out of the woods....but starting to feel a little more reality returning). Not to mention the tone of our interactions is not real good now. I have not yet taken all the next steps about reporting the model...it's still a little averse.

If interested, here is some transcript... I'm not really being very nice anymore and she's definitely become angry about how I stopped a while back with money or gifts.

ME: How are you?​

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HER: It's not clear​

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How do you mean?​

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the condition is unclear​

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What condition are you referring to?​

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Emotional and physical​

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Can you give a little more detail?​

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When I'm at work, I have one condition...as soon as I get out, I just have no emotions, no emotions at all..only anxiety and worry​

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Well...it's interesting because when I last interacted with you at work, you seemed very cheerful, happy....it seemed you had no depression whatsoever. So it is a little puzzling.​

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the thing is that this mood is only here, on the sites​

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What happens when you are outside of work?​

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just an emotionless face and the condition is the same​

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Maybe you feed off of the attention and reinforcement you get on the sites and then when you leave, you don't have it?​

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Well my cat unfortunately does not idolize me and does not say compliments. I also have depression and sleep problems​

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Is this something new with your depression?​

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There was no such state right now. That's why I don't understand. what's wrong with me...maybe fatigue is expressed this way. I have certain times when I can communicate with people.... my social energy is rapidly being depleted​

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You mentioned feeling little when not at work, some anxiety...do you actually feel sadness about anything?​

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it's not even a matter of a reason or a specific reason..It's just that when I'm not at work, I'm without emotions, I always walk with a stone face..I can look at one point for a very long time. Most of the time I want to be at home, lying down or sleeping. I force myself to do many things.​

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Did something happen? You haven't mentioned any particular things you are sad about?​

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I'm worried about financial problems... this is one of the main reasons. Yes, I remember how I lived when I had no money... I don't want to go back to it, so I'm so worried that it depressed me.​

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But wasn't that all before the cam modeling? you do pretty well in this.....​

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No. I have a middle-class apartment, my earnings are lower than you think, I have enough to live on, but I also have a mom and a cat who partially depend on me... I am also worried about this responsibility​

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But you could do more...expand your shows or whatever, right? You discussed before, or go back to what you used to do when you earned more.​

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I can't, I don't want to. I won't force myself to do anything​

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So what other option is there?​

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I’m closing the topic. Ask yourself questions and I can.​

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I don’t understand. Was this not a good question?​

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No​

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Why is it a bad question...? I was just exploring your options with you.​

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If I knew what to do, I wouldn't have come to you with such a question.... I will not work like "in the good old days" I will not force my will​

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I don’t understand why you are irritated right now.​

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It was a bad idea to talk to you about it. You said you'd help me with my vacation​

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I never actually said that. And in the same conversation when you were asking me if I could help with your vacation, you called me an idiot…and you also said I was acting like an asshole. Remember? So…you know… ​

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you are very vindictive, I explained to you with what meaning it was said.​

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I’ve never been vindictive. And I overlooked at lot.​

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don't forget about your mistakes.​

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You talk about money incessantly the last few months…you keep reminding me that I’m not helping you enough. Beyond the fact that we haven’t even met in person, you say some rude things to a guy you ask to help you! And think about it, would a guy in the real world give you a bunch of money each month if you were not actually involved and dating? If not, why do you expect this from a guy you’ve never been around?​

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Would a girl in the real world tolerate your character?​

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See, another perfect example! Think about it...you are at the same time asking me for help...yet insulting my character? I mean, seriously? Do you think I am stuck here?​

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Go cool off. What kind of nonsense are you writing.​

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Seriously: Why do you feel that I am obligated to help you?​

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Seriously, if you were a CLIENT, I would have broken up with you a long time ago.​

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How do you "break up" with a client? A client gives money for a service. You aren't providing a service...at least not beyond simply talking to me. So realistically, if I were a client, I'm the easiest client in the universe... Maybe the dumbest too. ​

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I would just not communicate with you, there is such a "BAN" button... But I have feelings for you, and you have a lot of complaints and a lot of misunderstandings about me that I overlook.​

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You act like you are tolerating so much. If you think I have a misunderstanding, tell me what you think I'm confused about.​

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You interpret most of my messages in a bad way, but in fact it is either written with good intent or in jest​

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This is a bit of an over-generalization. But you just insulted me about 2 minutes ago, with the comment about whether a woman would tolerate my character. That’s an insult, isn’t it?​

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No. ​

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You know, we’ve been talking for a year. It’s still not clear to me what you want and intend. Well, aside from money.​

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You still don't understand? I would never have spent so much time on a person and put myself at some risk if I didn't see you as a prospect! do you understand?​

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A prospect? Lol I thought you said for the last 8 months that I am your boyfriend. ​

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You're looking for rudeness. You are my boyfriend and my man, and the prospect for my future. I’ve given quite a lot of emotions and time on my part.​

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Okay..but what I’m thinking a lot about is: Do you think that this should be so conditional about money?​

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Yes, because you are my man. And for that matter, you know my position, what responsibility falls on my man. ​

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Yeah, you mentioned this. That’s your position on it, but I’m not sure that someone is your man when you haven’t even spent a single day together in real life.​

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I really don't let many people into my life and it's a very long and painstaking journey...are you ready for this? And by the way, you have again reduced the topic that concerns me (my depression), to the topic of our relationship.​

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The topic that concerns you is depression related to needing money. It sounds like your solution is for me to give you money. So...in truth...the topic of the discussion IS our relationship. It's not avoidable in this case! And the question remains…how am I your man?​

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It's too bad you still think I'm not real...have you ever thought otherwise?​

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So you are again saying that your aim is as an actual, real world relationship?​

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And what do you think I've been trying to prove to you for a year? I won't try to prove anything to you anymore, I've done it repeatedly...​

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Okay, but it’s confusing. Your virtual boyfriend, whom you never met up with in person, has responsibilities and obligations to support you? Yet you’ve told me about boyfriends in the real world, in your past – and none of them were supporting you.​

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Go to hell.​

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Be rude - but it's true - local men you dated, but not supporting you. Yet the virtual guy who is not really part of your everyday life - I have an obligation?​

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Don't forget that I'm fine with my self-esteem and being with you is my choice... I can get any man, but I'm with you.​

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So? Who's trying to force you to do anything?​

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Maybe I should start doubting you too? so that everything is fair​

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Too bad you have no reason to... ​

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I can find. I can find a corner in a round room, I'm a girl...It's easy for me.​

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I have to go soon; we'll think on all of this. The nature of our “relationship” has been confusing.​

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Look, I'm not one of those people who constantly talks about their feelings...I said a couple of times, if something changes, I'll tell you...You have to understand this about me. ​

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You keep saying, “I could have any man”, you keep complaining about promises I supposedly didn’t keep, and even throwing insults at me…why then do you want to remain with me?​

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Are you a fool? MAYBE BECAUSE I LIKE YOU? lol...HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT???​

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You live in a city of a million people. Not to mention lot of fans. ​

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Yes, but I choose you. I don't want to stop communicating with you. you are really dear to me. but when you promise something and don't fulfill it, it's a little repulsive and makes me doubt.​

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There’s a difference between you asking me or insisting I do something, and me offering or promising to do something. You really have trouble understanding that.​

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Look, I don't want to leave you and me in a bad way on the last days of this year...​

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So what exactly do you want?​

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I know what I want, you know too - it's you.​

This is a pretty horrible read on every level. It lacks any love or care or indeed anything resembling happiness (on both sides of the conversation). It's like a case study in dysfunction. As @Smoothie has already highlighted, I can't understand why you would spend time and energy on this. It's so depressing that I imagine the light bulbs must dim in your house every time she sends a message.

This is supposed to be a woman who loves you deeply. From what she says, she wants you to believe you are in a loving relationship but the transcript completely contradicts that.

I'm not going to post an example here for comparison, but there is a model I am close with and we Whatsapp pretty much every day. It's not a romantic thing in any way. However, if I compare the last few days of our conversation to the one you have posted here, there is more love, mutual respect and care for each other in the first few sentences than there is in your entire transcript which is supposedly with a woman who is in love with you.

That should tell you everything about the nature and future trajectory of your relationship.

 

[misterical]

But how are these monkeys getting the cash to use cam sites? I don’t get it I though it was humans only???

This thread is getting so fucking ridiculous.

They just "masturbape" in free chat.

 

[AudriTwo]

Oh no johns gone. Who is gonna save george?!

 

[misterical]

Oh no johns gone. Who is gonna save george?!

The Little Baby Jesus?

 

[ArcticKitty]

As far as I know, if you watch too much porn you become a beta man, idolizing women is for beta men, it turns you into a beta man.

I know you're an Epsilon Minus incel with mommy issues.

 

[ArcticKitty]

But how are these monkeys getting the cash to use cam sites? I don’t get it I though it was humans only???

This thread is getting so fucking ridiculous.

Maybe they're actually ring tailed cats?

 

[ArcticKitty]

Na you can fuck right off now. Many things you’ve said so far have been sus but soon as you started reeling off your Andrew Tate bullshit that’s done it for me. Get off this forum no one wants to hear from you.

FYI whilst you CLAIM to be some kind of professional psychologist, I ACTUALLY am an expert on monkey behaviour ( spent the best part of 4 years studying their social behaviour in the wild and undertook a PhD project in that area) and I can tell you you’re spouting utter bullshit just like every other comment you’ve made

I just have to say that I love this! For that matter, I love seeing you, Marie and Lilly shooting out the lights in this thread!

 

[Hiunds]

I think in the movie adaptation of the thread, Joel McHale would be a great choice to play JohnOcfC. He’s great at playing arrogant assholes

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I think in the movie adaptation of the thread, Joel McHale would be a great choice to play JohnOcfC. He’s great at playing arrogant assholes

Here's what I'm wondering. Call me curious George but...

The now departed JohnOfC originally showed up to this thread to give the not unsurprising message that I was being scammed and it was all in line with typical Russian studio tactics. But then he took a leap way beyond, claiming that he talked to the model in question and said that she felt just as bad as me about everything and that she was just trying to sell a fantasy...blah, blah, blah. All completely FABRICATED...which is really weird. Reading back over his messages, I think that was yet another attempt to get me to give him the name of the model - which I find strange as hell.

Then he shifted to a more sympathetic angle and was preaching to me about how I need to break out of the addictive pattern and all of that... Then came the Beta male shit and it all took an anti-porn agenda and his claim that he helps young dudes who are suffering the consequences of porn.

Okay....but unless I re-read it wrong - and I don't think I did: At some point in this thread, he said that he himself has been on MFC for over 10 years and he has some regular models!

So I'm confused....what was the agenda???? Just trolling? Something else?

 

[rockin_rod]

Here's what I'm wondering. Call me curious George but...

The now departed JohnOfC originally showed up to this thread to give the not unsurprising message that I was being scammed and it was all in line with typical Russian studio tactics. But then he took a leap way beyond, claiming that he talked to the model in question and said that she felt just as bad as me about everything and that she was just trying to sell a fantasy...blah, blah, blah. All completely FABRICATED...which is really weird. Reading back over his messages, I think that was yet another attempt to get me to give him the name of the model - which I find strange as hell.

Then he shifted to a more sympathetic angle and was preaching to me about how I need to break out of the addictive pattern and all of that... Then came the Beta male shit and it all took an anti-porn agenda and his claim that he helps young dudes who are suffering the consequences of porn.

Okay....but unless I re-read it wrong - and I don't think I did: At some point in this thread, he said that he himself has been on MFC for over 10 years and he has some regular models!

So I'm confused....what was the agenda???? Just trolling? Something else?

My 2 cents, fwiw, is stop dwelling on this and move on, both from the toxic interactions with the model, and from overthinking what that member here was posting.
New Year is a great time to make some fundamental shifts in your lifestyle and behaviour.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

They don't get the kind of attention they want, so they settle for provoking attention in the ways that are accessible to them.

 

[inertvolcano]

I think he was just a bored weirdo trying to make himself the main character of the thread.

 

[Ozzie_]

Here's what I'm wondering. Call me curious George but...

The now departed JohnOfC originally showed up to this thread to give the not unsurprising message that I was being scammed and it was all in line with typical Russian studio tactics. But then he took a leap way beyond, claiming that he talked to the model in question and said that she felt just as bad as me about everything and that she was just trying to sell a fantasy...blah, blah, blah. All completely FABRICATED...which is really weird. Reading back over his messages, I think that was yet another attempt to get me to give him the name of the model - which I find strange as hell.

Then he shifted to a more sympathetic angle and was preaching to me about how I need to break out of the addictive pattern and all of that... Then came the Beta male shit and it all took an anti-porn agenda and his claim that he helps young dudes who are suffering the consequences of porn.

Okay....but unless I re-read it wrong - and I don't think I did: At some point in this thread, he said that he himself has been on MFC for over 10 years and he has some regular models!

So I'm confused....what was the agenda???? Just trolling? Something else?

I haven't said much in this thread as to my eyes you seem to have your head screwed on pretty well. In a similar situation I might not do exactly as you have done, but I can appreciate the curiosity that can make you want keep communicating to see what she will say next. You've also been open to the advice / opinions of others here.

I'd back what @rockin_rod said. George, it's time to close the book on this one I think. (Both the model and the oddball ACF poster).

Put it behind you and go well into the night / day.

 

[MarieElise]

Call me curious George

Lol.

I couldn’t take the rest seriously after this part haha

 

[misterical]

I think he was just a bored weirdo trying to make himself the main character of the thread.

Plot twist. Maybe "he" was the model performing some kind of double bluff maneuver......

 

[ArcticKitty]

What difference does it make?

Seriously, who cares about the motives of some demented freak's postings? Ditto a toxic woman who obviously has a severe personality disorder.

Hey George; is any of it actually doing you any good?

 

[misterical]

Hey George; is any of it actually doing you any good?

This is the million dollar question. I couldn't see any reason for continuing once it was exposed as a scam. There's just way too much risk of either driving himself demented by finding out just how devious she was/can be or even worse, getting sucked back into the scam. I really can't make any sense of why he's still communicating with her.

 

[MarieElise]

I see a motive very clearly- revenge. However in George’s case I don’t think that that is what’s going on.

This lady does sound super weird and depressing though, I’d leave her in the dust. You’re kind of wasting time. You could be putting that time into someone else who deserves it.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

What difference does it make?

Seriously, who cares about the motives of some demented freak's postings? Ditto a toxic woman who obviously has a severe personality disorder.

Hey George; is any of it actually doing you any good?

Hey George; is any of it actually doing you any good?

This thread has done me some good, I can say that for sure. I feel better than I have in awhile. I've actually not gone this long in communicating with her in a year and I've written something to send to the sites to report what happened. I think this is all bothering me a lot less now because she's lost control of the situation.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

This is the million dollar question. I couldn't see any reason for continuing once it was exposed as a scam. There's just way too much risk of either driving himself demented by finding out just how devious she was/can be or even worse, getting sucked back into the scam. I really can't make any sense of why he's still communicating with her.

I really can't make any sense of why he's still communicating with her.

1) Interest in human behavior (20%), 2) Continuing to work through the situation in my mind while I get ready to make reports to the sites. (80%). There hasn't been any additional communication since the argumentative interaction several days before the New Year. Except for a brief message from her saying Happy New Year, asking what I did for the holiday, and saying she missed me.

Admittedly, the hardest part for me now is the combination of sending info to the sites and basically deleting/blocking etc.

 

[misterical]

Admittedly, the hardest part for me now is the combination of sending info to the sites and basically deleting/blocking etc.

Yeah, I can understand where you are at with that. I'd be the same. For me, not visiting the cam site would be quite easy, it would be the loss of the more mundane, everyday communication that I would find the hardest because that feels like the loss of a "real" relationship whereas the cam site is a weird, often abnormal bubble.

Although, granted, your everyday conversation was anything but mundane. It was batshit crazy.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I see a motive very clearly- revenge. However in George’s case I don’t think that that is what’s going on.

This lady does sound super weird and depressing though, I’d leave her in the dust. You’re kind of wasting time. You could be putting that time into someone else who deserves it.

I do agree...it's ultimately all been a waste of time and that includes now, even though it's way less time than before. As far as revenge, I'll be honest - I go back and forth. When I read some of her messages, it's easy to get angry and think, "What a pathological liar!" and hope for bad karma. The idea of her getting into trouble or even just me just making her uncomfortable...well...I'm not going to say there isn't some appeal. But on the other hand, I also want to wash my hands of it all.

But I do keep going back in my mind to something someone here said about the fact that other members in the future could get sucked into the same thing. Maybe I can't prevent it, but the idea of doing nothing at all makes me feel bad. Really think she needs to be monitored, if she's even allowed to be working on the sites (I'm not actually sure what the sites would do but at least they would know).

 

[MarieElise]

I do agree...it's ultimately all been a waste of time and that includes now, even though it's way less time than before. As far as revenge, I'll be honest - I go back and forth. When I read some of her messages, it's easy to get angry and think, "What a pathological liar!" and hope for bad karma. The idea of her getting into trouble or even just me just making her uncomfortable...well...I'm not going to say there isn't some appeal. But on the other hand, I also want to wash my hands of it all.

But I do keep going back in my mind to something someone here said about the fact that other members in the future could get sucked into the same thing. Maybe I can't prevent it, but the idea of doing nothing at all makes me feel bad. Really think she needs to be monitored, if she's even allowed to be working on the sites (I'm not actually sure what the sites would do but at least they would know).

I think models doing this should be reported. I think you are doing us and members a favor by reporting.

I’d be after revenge. I think that’s natural. Even if it was just to fuck with her. But it’s probably not the most positive or healthy thing to waste time in. So I think it’s understandable but ultimately unproductive. The best revenge you can do is report her, and move on with your life to find happiness with someone else/ other people (if you’re poly).

With all this Andrew Tate stuff going around on social media, I’d definitely encourage victims of love scams to report to sites. I personally want these people (running these love scams) off of the sites. They are ass wipes. And lazy.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Yeah, I can understand where you are at with that. I'd be the same. For me, not visiting the cam site would be quite easy, it would be the loss of the more mundane, everyday communication that I would find the hardest because that feels like the loss of a "real" relationship whereas the cam site is a weird, often abnormal bubble.

Although, granted, your everyday conversation was anything but mundane. It was batshit crazy.

Although, granted, your everyday conversation was anything but mundane. It was batshit crazy.

It wasn't like that until the last few months. See, that's the con. The first 8 or 9 months was a lot of fun, talking about life - everything from day to day stuff to bigger topics. Sending pictures of places we traveled. Along with joking and laughing. And it became kind of a mutual admiration society with us talking as though we were a couple in a long distance relationship, just passing time until we could meet. I looked forward to the interactions for a long time.

But along with way, she started to leverage the positive relationship to begin asking for help with "expenses" and to suggest gifts for herself. I only went along with that aspect a few times. It then escalated and more and more of the communication was about her trying to get money. Then, after awhile, when I started to seriously question her outright (her intentions; discrepancies I caught; apparent lies; even the idea of - why should I be responsible for "helping" her so much?), she started to become more aggressive and demanding.

The sweet, gushy stuff turned into talking to me as though she had a right to make demands. A lot of narcissism started to come through...along with almost veiled threats (like somehow I was going to go along with everything because I wouldn't want to make her angry). I actually started saying things like, "I think you picked the wrong guy - you need someone a lot more desperate." Or: "Maybe you can find a really wealthy guy with low self-esteem and desperate to find an attractive woman. lol" She would get infuriated.

So yeah....it was fun and reinforcing for awhile...until reality began to hit.

 

[Maxi]

Dude, sign up for Tinder or another approved dating site. Take someone local out for a coffee or a ‘shake. You/they might love it.

Condescend 101, I know, but it can work. Believe me. To reiterate: cam sites are for adult entertainment, dating sites are for romantic encountours.

I went there: romantic encounters…

 

[rockin_rod]

I can totally understand the range of emotions that something like this could create, but there is a lot of benefit in remembering that old saying:

"If you seek revenge, you should dig two graves, one for yourself".

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I can totally understand the range of emotions that something like this could create, but there is a lot of benefit in remembering that old saying:

"If you seek revenge, you should dig two graves, one for yourself".

Maybe I don't know what others mean when they are using the term "revenge." The only concept that resonates with me relates to reporting the situation to the sites, which others have suggested.

I'm not really sure what else someone would conceivably do after such a situation (in the "revenge" category). But I'm curious about the foreboding slogan. In your view, members who experience something along these lines should just lick their wounds, learn their lesson, and move on?

 

[Maxi]

The messages George has relayed remind me of a toxic IRL relationship I was in for 3.5 years. I was once punched, bitten and spat on after posing with someone once it was subsequently posted on Facebook.

I’ve lost lifelong friends because of that relationship and it took me a long while to finally break free.

It’s hard. But so much better when you do.

 

[rockin_rod]

In your view, members who experience something along these lines should just lick their wounds, learn their lesson, and move on?

Meant report, block further contact, move on and yes, learn from the experience and see that learning as a positive outcome.
Anything else will only suck up more of your time, emotions and energy.
FWIW I don't think that a report will really do very much, unless the model broke any site ToS.
It seems she played the long game with you and was therefore careful to build and manipulate slowly, and is probably very wary of doing/saying anything that could be proven.