A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I've not been following this whole thread in detail, but you have reported her to the camsites right? It's completely fair enough you're continuing to talk to her out of curiosity/as your own personal way to get over the feelings you had for her, but it's really not ok that she's still active on all these sites considering some of the things she's said to you. I know a lot of it is grey area stuff, but at the very minimum she's breaking the rules of all the sites by requesting off site payments!

but you have reported her to the camsites right?

No, I have not. I admit, it's crossed my mind a few times - in part because I wonder if there are other members involved in this exact same situation with her right now. (Or there will be in the future). But I haven't been able to get myself to do it...I'm not sure why. Maybe part of me feels that despite everything, I don't have any particular desire to hurt this woman. (Whatever her life was that led her to be this way, I can't imagine that it was very good - no one likes being lied to, but I'm not sure I would see a satisfaction in her getting in trouble. Then again...seems she could just be a cam model, not do whatever this is that she's been doing).

I also noticed that on some sites (I think Chaturbate is an example), the TOS say that they don't get involved in any "disputes" involving members and models that happen offsite. So would sites even care to know about this stuff?

In addition to setting up an account for me to pay her directly, she also shared identifying information. I had said there was no way in hell I was going to be sending money to someone, especially a Russian citizen, without knowing who she really is. It turned out that what she shared was real (I can't say more beyond that) but then she used this to say that now there's a special trust in place between us. From what I can tell about the way most sites work (correct me if I'm wrong), I'm not supposed to know her real name, where she lives and other real life details...but I do - because she provided this information (as a way to get money, in my opinion; not, as she claims, to prove her sincerity).

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

You said several times her English is very limited, yet the messages, while awful, seem to use some more advanced words and grammar structures. I know that machine translators have gotten quite good, but it still doesn't read as machine translation from Russian to me.

You said several times her English is very limited

It is but she did have some study of English in college and can speak and write a bit. She uses the translators in Skype and on the sites but will clean up the translations.

Ironically, one of her requests of me early on (which I did donate to) was for a subscription to a particular app for learning English.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

I want to mention here since everyone is talking about ways to spot these scams

1. If they send passport photos etc, or any other photos run them through google image search. See what it finds. Sometimes it'll turn up other people reporting scams with the same person.

2. Run quotes like what she's saying, word for word, thorugh google. Sometimes love con scripts are posted online.

3. If they give you real information - first last names etc, addresses - run those too.

Nowwwww none of those may actually pop up - good scammers it wont. But I had a member fall for a girl he'd NEVER SEEN ON CAMERA living in africa with her grandmother - when I ran her picture that he sent me she was of course a major porn star and he was being catfished. It's a good method to catch catfishes and those working with a script. (


Also be very careful with your personal information. Lovecons can easily turn into blackmail.


(not saying this is what was happening to the OP in this thread.. just in general)

 

[MarieElise]

Streamate is fairly strict about offsite communication. If she talked to you about offsite communications through their system, especially DMs they would ding her. However if you googled her, found her on CB or something, and she gave you offsite info that way, then that’s different. I think the token sites are less strict about that.

Being a cam model (that doesn’t run love cons) is hard work. A lot of models expect it to be easy and when they realize they have to work hard to build and maintain business they leave and/or potentially turn to love conning. It’s not just as simple as turning on a camera, showing your body, and making a ton of money. Unless perhaps you were already a celebrity or public figure before.

The idea that she could survive in the cam world without love cons, may be way too much real work for a person with such a personality. Especially the first few years. She may be too entitled and lazy for that. We really do have to put out a ton of emotional, mental and physical energy into this job. A lot of people fail. Very high turn over. And a lot of people are not mentally suited to it and are not able to separate slow business times from personal rejection to their ego (if they already have a lot of esteem issues). It really isn’t the field for everyone, or even most (I would hazard to guess). Very tough.

I suspect a lot of these love con models wouldn’t survive long at all, trying to run things the more ethical way. Too much real work and high stress.

 

[misterical]

You nailed it! I get frequent updates on her health issues, even day-to-day headaches, cramps, bad periods...not to mention her problems with depression. I get requests to help with expenses. For fun, here are a few recent examples (last 2-3 months) of texts I receive about financial needs:

I’m not asking you to buy me a laptop, but I'm not arguing, it would be nice for me and I would be very grateful to you, but I won't ask you​

​

The baby (my cat) needs either surgery on his hind legs or prosthetics...the operation is very expensive, prosthetics are even more expensive and would have be done in Moscow.​

​

I will be insanely happy to get money for new winter boots and a new leotard.​

​

When you pay for our communication, it helps me here…because everything is very expensive now...I told you that in addition to myself, I also help my mother financially, because with her salary it is simply impossible to survive... some of what I earn goes to pay for her apartment...​

​

Okay...as to your recent rudeness to me: Now you will apologize for certain things I want a sheepskin coat.​

​

Honey, I wanted to ask you...I want to go on vacation in January...I can't take it anymore, I'm really tired of it all... can you help me?​

The funny thing is, I didn't ultimately pay or contribute to ANY of these things mentioned above...I really began clamping down about sending money...yet she just persists and comes up with new requests or reminds me of the ones that I didn't help with. It's somewhat comical at this point. Now (recently) she even negotiates: Okay, I didn't realize it was adding up to so much. Let's just forget the other things for now, but can you just help me get a new phone? You can even order it from AliExpress and then I can tell people my boyfriend got it for me. lol

Maybe it's part of the ploy, but over time the model increasingly ramped up the expectations and began talking in terms of me being her man and responsible for "support," which to her means emotional and financial. Even when I would laugh and ask when I ever said that I was going to pay for this or that expense, she would respond with a kind of aggressive entitlement that is really strange. For example, she would matter-of-fact say that it's expected in her culture that helping with certain financial needs that come up is part of the "relationship." Even more, when I would simply not go along with something, she would occasionally make veiled threats, like, "I think you know my anger is a lot worse to deal with than buying me a pair of new boots." I don't know if this is part of the "persona" of someone who scams like this or if it's unique to this woman's personality.

Holy fuck George. This isn't even subtle. It's utter robbery. Get the hell away from her now. Fuck "curiousity" or "wanting to see where it goes". Just leave her behind. Jettison her into the ether. And report her to every cam site she is on, including these transcripts, before what happens to you happens to another poor sod.

If you don't step away, despite us all telling you to then this is on you.

 

[Ozzie_]

I also noticed that on some sites (I think Chaturbate is an example), the TOS say that they don't get involved in any "disputes" involving members and models that happen offsite. So would sites even care to know about this stuff?

I am pretty sure that at least on Stripchat if she was organising offsite paid contact (like skype shows/calls etc) via their platform, she would be banned pretty quickly. Obviously if such discussions /planning takes place via Telegram or Twitter etc then no, the sites are not going to get involved.

 

[melanieoncam]

I also noticed that on some sites (I think Chaturbate is an example), the TOS say that they don't get involved in any "disputes" involving members and models that happen offsite. So would sites even care to know about this stuff?

Of course the sites want to know. She is using their advertising and traffic to get customers then taking payment offsite and cheating the site out of their cut!

It is absolutely against the rules and a slap in the face to those of us who abide by them.

 

[ArcticKitty]

You said several times her English is very limited, yet the messages, while awful, seem to use some more advanced words and grammar structures. I know that machine translators have gotten quite good, but it still doesn't read as machine translation from Russian to me.

I notised something "off" too. I agree, those quotes were not generated by MT, they were written by someone familiar with English.

I also picked up on the flashes of eloquence combined with the blatant requests (almost demands) and unsubtle attempts at flattery and guilt tripping. Weird. But maybe that would be consistent with sociopaths and arrogant assholes who think they are smart?

 

[ArcticKitty]

Streamate is fairly strict about offsite communication. If she talked to you about offsite communications through their system, especially DMs they would ding her. However if you googled her, found her on CB or something, and she gave you offsite info that way, then that’s different. I think the token sites are less strict about that.

Being a cam model (that doesn’t run love cons) is hard work. A lot of models expect it to be easy and when they realize they have to work hard to build and maintain business they leave and/or potentially turn to love conning. It’s not just as simple as turning on a camera, showing your body, and making a ton of money. Unless perhaps you were already a celebrity or public figure before.

The idea that she could survive in the cam world without love cons, may be way too much real work for a person with such a personality. Especially the first few years. She may be too entitled and lazy for that. We really do have to put out a ton of emotional, mental and physical energy into this job. A lot of people fail. Very high turn over. And a lot of people are not mentally suited to it and are not able to separate slow business times from personal rejection to their ego (if they already have a lot of esteem issues). It really isn’t the field for everyone, or even most (I would hazard to guess). Very tough.

I suspect a lot of these love con models wouldn’t survive long at all, trying to run things the more ethical way. Too much real work and high stress.

That makes sense to me. I imagine that many love con models learned or were taught by their studios how to target men and what to look for and focus their approach. All it really takes is no morals and a predatory attitude. I'd bet that some of them actually get off on it.

 

[MarieElise]

That makes sense to me. I imagine that many love con models learned or were taught by their studios how to target men and what to look for and focus their approach. All it really takes is no morals and a predatory attitude. I'd bet that some of them actually get off on it.

Yeah idk. I've thought a lot about this. The idealistic part of me would like to believe they've been so hurt that they've turned so evil and cynical and assumed all men are terrible, like the abuser types. However, putting my personal idealism aside, it's unlikely that's going on in every case. Love cons seem to be fairly common. I just don't get it. But the likelihood is, I'm never going to. It's probably more likely that either the models or studio bosses themselves driving this stuff, are in fact abuser types too.

By the time you've talked in depth with a guy this much, you'd have to have a pretty good idea of his character, and know you were trying to fleece a decent person.

We are all just trying to analyze this behavior and make sense of it. But the reality is, there are a lot of super shitty, damaged, sick individuals in this world. Who care zero for anyone but themselves. However, I truly don't believe they make up the majority. They do enough damage and ripple effect damage, that sometimes it feels as if they make up the majority. But they do not.

 

[pazzorich]

Obviously she is satisfying some need you have, and as long as you are paying for it, and are conscious of what it's about, I do not see anything wrong. You are aware that she is trying to scam you, as you probably have been since shortly after the start. So the flirtation involves her trying to get money off of you, and you trying to get her to work for her "pay" by inventing tall tales and making outrageous promises. You are both aware of your roles in this game, and to some extent you are addicted to it (while she is merely doing her scammer job). Getting a pet dog would be a lot cheaper and more fulfilling, but wouldn't offer the same thrill factor.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Streamate is fairly strict about offsite communication. If she talked to you about offsite communications through their system, especially DMs they would ding her.

We've not interacted there. We have interacted on LiveJasmin, Chaturbate, Stripchat, and SecretFriends. CB was the main one at first; that's where this began. But overall, it's been 80% Stripchat when we were actually talking on a site. And there were references to things on Stripchat (and LiveJasmin) in our messaging there...we were careful mostly, but sometimes I was surprised at how bold she was. For example, talking about setting up a crypto account and other such things in private chats there. Plus, all the romantic talk and discussions about visits and our future life.... ....a lot of that was all in extensive messages, especially on Stripchat and Chaturbate. Of course once we were talking on a personal Skype account, we didn't do as much on the sites. Though I would visit sometimes for fun.

The idea that she could survive in the cam world without love cons, may be way too much real work for a person with such a personality.

I don't think I mentioned...and I'm not sure if it's relevant: This model was a "regular" cam model for the first two years...then she went through a process to try to purge the internet of various pirated videos of her. Last couple of years, she's a "nonnude" model. Does not undress at all. Her whole thing is chat...some sexy chat, a little dancing...clothed...but not a lot. Mostly what she does, from what I can tell, is try to hook guys in to talking...she's good at it, I think. That's really how this started with me...it was just talking about life. She's smart and (I now think) really manipulative...to the point of a skill. So anyway, I don't know anything about it, but I would think being a nonnude model has limitations. Maybe this is just what she does....it's not so much performing as trying to form relationships with a lot of talking...and then finding "targets" who will believe she's sincerely interested in a relationship.

 

[MarieElise]

Obviously she is satisfying some need you have, and as long as you are paying for it, and are conscious of what it's about, I do not see anything wrong. You are aware that she is trying to scam you, as you probably have been since shortly after the start. So the flirtation involves her trying to get money off of you, and you trying to get her to work for her "pay" by inventing tall tales and making outrageous promises. You are both aware of your roles in this game, and to some extent you are addicted to it (while she is merely doing her scammer job). Getting a pet dog would be a lot cheaper and more fulfilling, but wouldn't offer the same thrill factor.

Astute observations. But again, the issue of consent. Whether this be true or not, he (George) needs to have requested this and/ or consented to this.

Otherwise intelligent as your reasoning is, it would be nothing more than a rationalization a con artist told themselves, to feel better about the shite thing they were doing to another human being.

The human mind is an interesting beast. I believe we all have the propensity and ability to rationalize away shitty behavior, if we choose to. To the point we can convince ourselves of crazy stuff. Some people are more in the habit of it than others. But we all do it to a certain degree imho.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Holy fuck George. This isn't even subtle. It's utter robbery. Get the hell away from her now. Fuck "curiousity" or "wanting to see where it goes". Just leave her behind. Jettison her into the ether. And report her to every cam site she is on, including these transcripts, before what happens to you happens to another poor sod.

If you don't step away, despite us all telling you to then this is on you.

Oh, I know. But I'm doing good in the sense that I haven't paid her for anything or sent any money in 2 weeks (an eternity to her) and her vow that I don't have to send her money and it's not all about money to her is starting to show cracks. Also, I'm more emotionally removed...it's like I started to wake up from a fog. (Also - I have to admit - this place, reading all the opinions - it really helped!!!! It's funny because I don't think there's anywhere else online to get advice or support for this particular problem...it's kind of a "niche" issue).

You're right. The truly functional thing for me to do is cease all contact and delete her from my mind. It is admittedly tough to do... Some of it's curiosity, some of it is that it feels like it will be really abrupt after talking to her so much...maybe I'm working through it.

I'm real torn about contacting sites. It's like, what do you say? "I started chatting with a model on your site...and after awhile, she began to turn it into a romantic thing, even though I didn't ask for a GFE. I really developed feelings for her and thought it was real...and I started giving money to her offsite...and by the way, she showed me her ID's and I confirmed that she was actually sincere on that part and I know where she lives and she calls me from her apartment....she feels I should help pay her expenses....I've concluded that she's a love scammer....she might have done this to others, too. Just letting you all know." lol I mean...kind of awkward.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Obviously she is satisfying some need you have, and as long as you are paying for it, and are conscious of what it's about, I do not see anything wrong. You are aware that she is trying to scam you, as you probably have been since shortly after the start. So the flirtation involves her trying to get money off of you, and you trying to get her to work for her "pay" by inventing tall tales and making outrageous promises. You are both aware of your roles in this game, and to some extent you are addicted to it (while she is merely doing her scammer job). Getting a pet dog would be a lot cheaper and more fulfilling, but wouldn't offer the same thrill factor.

I think the flaw in this argument is that I was not conscious (for about the first 4 or 5 months) of the fact that she is (very likely) lying about her intentions. For one thing, it wasn't even romantic in nature for the first couple of months...this was something she gradually introduced to the relationship after that time, once we were "friends." But then, even though I was receptive to the romantic stuff, I was increasingly skeptical as time went on (Still not certain - but skeptical). It can be a bit hard to know for sure, especially when in the midst of the situation. So while she might have been satisfying a need, her satisfaction of that need was based on completely false pretenses - and I didn't ask for a fantasy role play. Bottom line - this wasn't some "service" I requested off the menu.

This was (and still is, by the way) a model flagrantly proclaiming the desire for an actual relationship in the real world, to meet up, to potentially move somewhere (her leaving her country), and so on. As described, she initiated all this from the start...the fact that she might have picked up on my receptivity to it is moot. Con artists are often very good at reading people.

Honestly, your take sounds like a rationalization. Any love scammer or con artist could probably rationalize their behavior the same way.... "Well, the person went along with it....they must have known I wasn't serious about any of it...." From what other models have said about the situation, I don't see how a webcam model outright lying (even to the point of hysterical insistence) that she wants a real world relationship (if she does not) is normal procedure.

As of now, I'm in the stage of extricating from it...and basically deciding what to do about it (if anything beyond cutting her off).

 

[MarieElise]

I think the flaw in this argument is that I was not conscious (for about the first 4 or 5 months) of the fact that she is (very likely) lying about her intentions. For one thing, it wasn't even romantic in nature for the first couple of months...this was something she gradually introduced to the relationship after that time, once we were "friends." But then, even though I was receptive to the romantic stuff, I was increasingly skeptical as time went on (Still not certain - but skeptical). It can be a bit hard to know for sure, especially when in the midst of the situation. So while she might have been satisfying a need, her satisfaction of that need was based on completely false pretenses - and I didn't ask for a fantasy role play. Bottom line - this wasn't some "service" I requested off the menu.

This was (and still is, by the way) a model flagrantly proclaiming the desire for an actual relationship in the real world, to meet up, to potentially move somewhere (her leaving her country), and so on. As described, she initiated all this from the start...the fact that she might have picked up on my receptivity to it is moot. Con artists are often very good at reading people.

Honestly, your take sounds like a rationalization. Any love scammer or con artist could probably rationalize their behavior the same way.... "Well, the person went along with it....they must have known I wasn't serious about any of it...." From what other models have said about the situation, I don't see how a webcam model outright lying (even to the point of hysterical insistence) that she wants a real world relationship (if she does not) is normal procedure.

As of now, I'm in the stage of extricating from it...and basically deciding what to do about it (if anything beyond cutting her off).

If you do decide to contact sites about it, definitely emphasize the part where she moved communications off site and cut them out financially. They really hate that part.

 

[Ozzie_]

I'm real torn about contacting sites. It's like, what do you say? "I started chatting with a model on your site...and after awhile, she began to turn it into a romantic thing, even though I didn't ask for a GFE. I really developed feelings for her and thought it was real...and I started giving money to her offsite...and by the way, she showed me her ID's and I confirmed that she was actually sincere on that part and I know where she lives and she calls me from her apartment....she feels I should help pay her expenses....I've concluded that she's a love scammer....she might have done this to others, too. Just letting you all know." lol I mean...kind of awkward.

Yes it might be awkward for you, but If any of the talk about offsite support etc happened on Stripchat, maybe reach out to Charlie_SC or xChloe (the SC reps here on ACF)?

(I purposely did not actually tag them, it is your choice if you want to contact either of them)

 

[misterical]

George, reading between the lines (and I admit this may be a reach) it feels to me that you are still communicating with her because you can't break it off. You'd miss the communication. It's astonishingly addictive to be wanted by a beautiful woman. But please mate, for the love of God, cut her off cold turkey. I worry that you'll eventually drift away from this forum and the rational voices here and decide to continue the journey with her simply because the alternative is too unpalatable. Close down every avenue of communication. If this was a rogue builder working in your home, skinning you for money all the time, you'd have blocked their number in your phone a long time ago.

It's an incredible boost to the ego when a beautiful woman messages you and wants to communicate with you. I know the feeling myself from my own experience and I can imagine how hard it would be to break that off. The communications you are receiving are not healthy. They wouldn't even be healthy in a real life, in-person relationship. Demanding a sheepskin coat as an apology? Paying for her holiday? Come on mate. Even if she's dialled it back at the moment, you must know that this is just a lull in the storm. She'll be back with even more outrageous requests soon enough if you choose to stick around. I appreciate that the emotional bond is hard to break, but it's the only way your going to break the financial bond. None of the examples you mentioned were cheap. I'd hate to think what you have shelled out for in the past and the total cost. Kill it stone dead. It will be a hard few weeks to a month but it will be the best thing in the long run.

 

[JohnOfC]

George realize this, all the time you put into her could have been used to find a true love or having fun with other girls at the webcam service.


i Said before :
I keep trying to explain to you what they're going to do to you, and you just keep looking it up !!.
I wouldn't be surprised if in a few weeks you're still in there feeling guilty or something and giving here money.

Report it to the relevant websites, that she got money from you outside the website, and that the lady is practicing romance scam on their customers.

 

[Sashacurves]

@GeorgeSpelvin I firmly believe that you need to report her to the sites you have been interacting with her on. It's actually quite hypocritical to be on here discussing the lack of morality and ethics on her part, whilst you yourself are continuing to knowingly enable her. It's noble of you not to want to bring her any harm, but don't see it as revenge or spite, see it as preventing her from doing the same harm to others as she's done to you. There are probably countless other models in the same economic struggles that she's in who are playing the game fairly, but missing out on tokens and tips because they are ending up in her pocket.

As for the cutting her off cold turkey - obviously that's the sensible, logical thing to do but I completely understand your reticence to do so. Everyone has their own ways of coping with things and if this works for you, go for it. I feel like you've taken the advice here on board well enough not to be lured back in by her attempts at this point. That being said, what the other guys have said is true - the time and emotional energy you'll get back by not spending it on her could be used towards something new and exciting with other models/friends/potential partners.

 

[AudriTwo]

I've had conversations (even arguments) about this exact topic - clarifying the relationship. Since this thread has become a case study, I'm pasting some direct quotes below from the model's texts to me from these kinds of conversations over time. So you can see if this sounds anything like what would be normal:

I told my friend about you. That I communicate very closely with one man...I like him and I really want it to be mutual and without a doubt. we haven't seen each other, but we talk and discuss our meeting all the time.​

​

Believe me, we are powerless over our feelings..I was convinced of this after 1.5 months of our communication...I realized that you are much more than just a pen pal.​

​

My dear, just know that you are different for me from everyone else who sits on these sites..I really appreciate you... you have no idea how glad I was to get to know you. I do not send such videos and photos to anyone... you are the only one and I am so close only with you..I have friends, but we mostly communicate with them on their topics (personal problems, addictions)...and as strange as it may sound, I really miss you... we really have similar views on many things.​

​

Honey, I won't play with your feelings and emotions...I know how much it hurts...and remember that everything between us is equally mutual. Yes, I'm afraid of being vulnerable...because for everyone, my description is: strong, confident, characteristic, arrogant, bitch. and you know me differently..The way I am.​

​

Remember how many times I've told you that you are important to me as a person, a man...with whom I want to build a future ... please, I don't want to quarrel with you...I have sincere feelings for you.​

​

I don't want to deceive you and I'm not deceiving you....I don't need it...why would I hurt a man if I'm considering my future with him? You have become a very close person to me.... It's true. you have no idea how different you are from everyone else.​

​

I won't let you go. you are dear to me. I'm opening up to you more and more every time, and you're going to leave me?​

​

I don't want to lose you...not because we've gone too far...It's because I know how I feel about you... and these feelings are quite real... I meant everything I said to you.​

​

I told you that as soon as the war ends...we can have something face to face to feel the touch of hands...I believe in it and I think of it every day.​

​

Sometimes it's very difficult for me to talk to you.... it happens when you listen to your friends who are trying to convince you to leave me...at such moments, I want you to mostly defend me in front of them...it's just that even when we're together...they'll still talk about the fact (in their minds) that I'm with you only for money or a visa...​

​

Do you want to know what kind of person I am? I always used men, I played with their feelings, I didn't care what they felt, I didn't believe men before you appeared, then I decided that something was different with you or else I was losing my grip. You interested me, yes, indeed it was...then I started to have feelings for you and I really saw the future with you... I know about my sexuality and how men are stupid and primitive, how they are ready to buy you anything, just to get an approving look from my side...yes, consider me whatever you want..I was like that and I use it sometimes, but not with you and I didn't lie to you about the fact that when people come to meet me, I say that I have a boyfriend - and I mean you. If you don't believe it, you can stick your money in you know where.​

Are you sure a 20 something female wrote this? The overuse of ellipses screams boomer to me.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

it feels to me that you are still communicating with her because you can't break it off.

I wouldn't say that I can't but I'm being a bit avoidant of it. Even simple things like - do I say some sort of goodbye versus simply cutting off. I'm not really that lonely in day-to-day life but of course, with so much time having been spent talking to someone, sure, it will create a void for awhile.

You'd miss the communication.

Yes, though not nearly as much as you might think now. The reason is that at an earlier point, the communication was enjoyable and reinforcing. Lately, most of the communication is someone telling me her (alleged) problems and asking for help. Most of the time lately, she hasn't even been all that nice. Actually even increasingly resentful (believe it or not) that I haven't been doing nearly as much as she thinks I should over the last several months. There isn't very much that's fun about it now, especially since I also have this background anger in my mind.

It's an incredible boost to the ego when a beautiful woman messages you and wants to communicate with you.

Yes, but as noted above, it's not that much fun anymore in this case. Especially when one become really aware that there's so much manipulation and even outright dishonesty involved.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Are you sure a 20 something female wrote this? The overuse of ellipses screams boomer to me.

She's 25, I know for sure. But it's funny, she does use a lot of ellipses in her messages. I hadn't thought about it, but I do it too and I'm wondering if she started to do that more because of me. (Maybe she thinks it's proper English since I do it? lol) But yeah, a lot of these messages she wrote live while we were texting and on cam so unless she has someone feeding her lines like in that play/movie Cyrano, she wrote it all herself.

 

[AudriTwo]

She's 25, I know for sure. But it's funny, she does use a lot of ellipses in her messages. I hadn't thought about it, but I do it too and I'm wondering if she started to do that more because of me. (Maybe she thinks it's proper English since I do it? lol) But yeah, a lot of these messages she wrote live while we were texting and on cam so unless she has someone feeding her lines like in that play/movie Cyrano, she wrote it all herself.

i get english isn't her first language, but the tone doesnt read 25-year-old female. i read it and thought a 47-year-old man wrote it pretending to be a woman. i agree with @_mika_ that "her" english vocabulary doesn't reflect someone who's a beginner.

also "she" has this strong feeling within a month and half is suspicious and a giant red flag. recommend looking into love-bombing, because i believe that's what "she" is doing.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Yeah idk. I've thought a lot about this. The idealistic part of me would like to believe they've been so hurt that they've turned so evil and cynical and assumed all men are terrible, like the abuser types. However, putting my personal idealism aside, it's unlikely that's going on in every case. Love cons seem to be fairly common. I just don't get it. But the likelihood is, I'm never going to. It's probably more likely that either the models or studio bosses themselves driving this stuff, are in fact abuser types too.

By the time you've talked in depth with a guy this much, you'd have to have a pretty good idea of his character, and know you were trying to fleece a decent person.

We are all just trying to analyze this behavior and make sense of it. But the reality is, there are a lot of super shitty, damaged, sick individuals in this world. Who care zero for anyone but themselves. However, I truly don't believe they make up the majority. They do enough damage and ripple effect damage, that sometimes it feels as if they make up the majority. But they do not.

My thinking is that they are really female sociopaths and it takes one to know one. They're not a complete mystery because we are able to recognise their behaviour patterns and MO, but I think that true sociopaths are less than human and that's why trying to fully understand them is difficult.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Are you sure a 20 something female wrote this? The overuse of ellipses screams boomer to me.

I thought that the ellipses were added to indicate partial quotes but if they were original they are very excessive. And I use them in my own online conversation and posting.

 

[AudriTwo]

I thought that the ellipses were added to indicate partial quotes but if they were original they are very excessive. And I use them in my own online conversation and posting.

from my experience, it's pretty common text style for people who are older. majority of my older relatives and regs text with excessive/misuse ellipses. very rarely i'll come across a younger person who types like that.

 

[Lilly_____]

i get english isn't her first language, but the tone doesnt read 25-year-old female. i read it and thought a 47-year-old man wrote it pretending to be a woman. i agree with @_mika_ that "her" english vocabulary doesn't reflect someone who's a beginner.

also "she" has this strong feeling within a month and half is suspicious and a giant red flag. recommend looking into love-bombing, because i believe that's what "she" is doing.

Yes, that and the grammar structure of the sentences reflect the abilities of someone who's either native or has formally studied English for many years. Terms like "indeed it was", "losing my grip", "quite real". And grammar like "have become", "we've gone too far".

As a native, it might be hard to realise because it's very natural that that's how the language is supposed to be written, but for a foreigner, those are the kind of things that take years, if not decades, of some serious dedication.

 

[AmberCutie]

from my experience, it's pretty common text style for people who are older. majority of my older relatives and regs text with excessive/misuse ellipses. very rarely i'll come across a younger person who types like that.

Can confirm, I'm approaching mid 40s and love my ellipses

 

[Smoothie]

Can confirm, I'm approaching mid 40s and love my ellipses

Ellipses are good (I use them too). It’s the people who end non-questions with a ? that drive me nuts.

“I don’t think you understood me?”

Are you telling me that or asking me that?

(Sorry for the grammar pet peeve sidetrack)