A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[MarieElise]

And on what basis? Because she was charging him for privates? I wouldn't be surprised to learn that cam sites are full of guys who are led by their dick and overspend and then blame models for their own lack of fiscal control.

Yeah that happens too. A lot.

I had a dude who had 3 shows with me, do it once. And to be totally transparent they were total dirty shows with just raw dirty talk and masturbation. Like total filthy porno stuff the whole time. No GFE. Nothing on any other site or offsite. No gifts or even extra tips just because. No taking about life or anything remotely personal. He was an ok payer but not a regular and not a high payer or whale.

He sent me this long monologue saying he couldn’t see me anymore, he was tired of putting energy into me, he deserved better for himself blah blah blah. It was like 2 pages long.

Literally. We never even talked. It was all total explicit smut that went down the whole shows. Like nothing. Not even stuff like “how’s your day going today/ how’s the dog/ how’s work treating you?”. Like nothing. Nada. Zip. They were actually even less personal than the average show. Nothing even remotely romantic or non horn dog went down

 

[Smoothie]

Yeah that happens too. A lot.

I had a dude who had 3 shows with me, do it once. And to be totally transparent they were total dirty shows with just raw dirty talk and masturbation. Like total filthy porno stuff the whole time. No GFE. Nothing on any other site or offsite. No gifts or even extra tips just because. No taking about life or anything remotely personal. He was an ok payer but not a regular and not a high payer or whale.

He sent me this long monologue saying he couldn’t see me anymore, he was tired of putting energy into me, he deserved better for himself blah blah blah. It was like 2 pages long.

Literally. We never even talked. It was all total explicit smut that went down the whole shows. Like nothing. Not even stuff like “how’s your day going today/ how’s the dog/ how’s work treating you?”. Like nothing. Nada. Zip. They were actually even less personal than the average show. Nothing even remotely romantic or non horn dog went down

Wow. That almost sounds like a guy who had no prior experience in this kind of porn (where you share the experience in real time with another person), maybe surprised himself with how far he took it, and felt ashamed afterward? Or just freaked himself out by enjoying it too much, didn’t want to continue, and overreacted.

(Now here I am, trying to apply logic to an unreasonable situation.)

 

[MarieElise]

Wow. That almost sounds like a guy who had no prior experience in this kind of porn (where you share the experience in real time with another person), maybe surprised himself with how far he took it, and felt ashamed afterward? Or just freaked himself out by enjoying it too much, didn’t want to continue, and overreacted.

(Now here I am, trying to apply logic to an unreasonable situation.)

Hmmmmm. You may be correct there Dr. Watson. Interesting, interesting

 

[ArcticKitty]

There’s also a whole 3rd thing that goes on that is neither an agreed upon gfe nor a love con. I’ve experienced it a few times , but not a ton admittedly. It’s when a guy projects weird delusional stuff on to the model with absolutely 0 to base it off of. I’m not sure what you’d call that. Maybe more parasocial or someone who is struggling with mental health. Or some kind of combo of parasocial w mental/ emotional/ social health struggles.

Basically when a guy acts like and accuses a model of love conning him, when she genuinely hasn’t. And he’s basing it off of imaginary and projected stuff, that was all in his own noggin the whole time. Maybe that’s just called being a dick.

Could it be an extreme version of feeling a sense of closeness by people who are both neurotic and socially isolated?

 

[MarieElise]

Could it be an extreme version of feeling a sense of closeness by people who are both neurotic and socially isolated?

I'd love to be socially isolated. People can be a true pain in the ass.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Yeah that happens too. A lot.

I had a dude who had 3 shows with me, do it once. And to be totally transparent they were total dirty shows with just raw dirty talk and masturbation. Like total filthy porno stuff the whole time. No GFE. Nothing on any other site or offsite. No gifts or even extra tips just because. No taking about life or anything remotely personal. He was an ok payer but not a regular and not a high payer or whale.

He sent me this long monologue saying he couldn’t see me anymore, he was tired of putting energy into me, he deserved better for himself blah blah blah. It was like 2 pages long.

Literally. We never even talked. It was all total explicit smut that went down the whole shows. Like nothing. Not even stuff like “how’s your day going today/ how’s the dog/ how’s work treating you?”. Like nothing. Nada. Zip. They were actually even less personal than the average show. Nothing even remotely romantic or non horn dog went down

Wank, wank. Wow, great wank.

Oh shit, I've blown all this money and I need a new battery for my car and pay the rent!

 

[ArcticKitty]

I'd love to be socially isolated. People can be a true pain in the ass.

I heard that!

What I think is that a lot of guys are not 100% and are not exactly charming and when they go to a camsite and are taken with a model, they get creepy fixed on her. I mean you can be relatively normal and have a crush on someone, so it seems to me like someone who isn't too grounded to begin with would really be in stalker obsession mode.

 

[MarieElise]

I heard that!

What I think is that a lot of guys are not 100% and are not exactly charming and when they go to a camsite and are taken with a model, they get creepy fixed on her. I mean you can be relatively normal and have a crush on someone, so it seems to me like someone who isn't too grounded to begin with would really be in stalker obsession mode.

I guess that theory's not exactly outside the ball park either. Who fucking knows?

 

[Omne35]

I heard that!

What I think is that a lot of guys are not 100% and are not exactly charming and when they go to a camsite and are taken with a model, they get creepy fixed on her. I mean you can be relatively normal and have a crush on someone, so it seems to me like someone who isn't too grounded to begin with would really be in stalker obsession mode.

Except most of the time the guy has no way to act on the crush in a normal environment. When they are on a cam site there is an illusion of both control and availability based on the transactional nature of it. In a normal environment, such as a job, there usually isn't positive reinforcement of the crush and in most cases it's never expressed. In the camming environment there is a great deal of positive reinforcement even when the model is staying inside reasonable boundaries. They are trying to make it a positive experience for the users in a sexually charged environment. For someone less than adept in social interactions it's not hard to see them attaching more meaning to the interplay with the model then the model intends. Even if it doesn't get to the creepy stalker level it's still unhealthy for the user because it skews their understanding of relationships. When the illusion is gone I can easily see accusations of a love con in that situation even though the model wasn't running one.

 

[ArcticKitty]

That's how I see it too. But I don't think I fully understand it. For me, the conversations may get racy and sometimes flirty but nothing heavy. So I can't really relate.

 

[ArcticKitty]

What I really don't understand are white knights!

 

[Omne35]

What I really don't understand are white knights!


View attachment 94883

One type is the inadequate type that has a strong need for other people's approval. They want to be seen in a positive or even heroic light. That results in them trying to differentiate themselves from others by being non-sexual and wanting to be seen as a savior by the model and superior by the other users. Basically "I'm better than you".

Another type is the flat out religious zealot, although they're actually rare. This is probably the only one that has any concern for the model.

The other common type is the person that feels guilt and shame over their sexual impulses/actions. They tend to have weak will power and give in to those urges resulting in a form of self loathing afterwards. They take the knight role to assuage their guilt by acting contrary to it and to feel superior to the source of their guilt, the model. These types may also express themselves by verbally abusing models, again to lessen their feelings of guilt. This is obviously the most complicated one and there are any number of other issues mixed in such as religious beliefs, which is sometimes the source of the guilt. These are also the most potentially dangerous ones when they act to remove the source of their guilt. Quite a few serial killers fall into this group.

Hypothetically there can be another type where they develop feelings for the model and want to help them. I used the term hypothetically because invariably it turns out that it's a control issue over the model and not altruistic.

Boiled down it's almost always simply a means to show that they're better than the model and the other users for whatever reason.

 

[MarieElise]

This is probably the only one that has any concern for the model.

Does he actually care about the model or is it more trying to save her soul? Some of this shit's really next level.

 

[Omne35]

Does he actually care about the model or is it more trying to save her soul? Some of this shit's really next level.

Sometimes both but it would be rare as hell to find them on a cam site.

 

[MarieElise]

A lot of the Dudes I interact with seem totally cool.

A lot of this weird stuff probably only happens once in a great while. We hear about it a lot here, but there are literally 1000s of cam models out there, and not that many places for chat, as far as I understand it. And it seems like there are so many scenarios that could be going on.

 

[Omne35]

A lot of the Dudes I interact with seem totally cool.

A lot of this weird stuff probably only happens once in a great while. We hear about it a lot here, but there are literally 1000s of cam models out there, and not that many places for chat, as far as I understand it. And it seems like there are so many scenarios that could be going on.

It's a definitely a minority of users that have major problems. The abusive ones are probably the most common problem that crops up numberwise.
And you're right there is definitely a confirmation bias on forums like this.

 

[misterical]

Yeah that happens too. A lot.

I had a dude who had 3 shows with me, do it once. And to be totally transparent they were total dirty shows with just raw dirty talk and masturbation. Like total filthy porno stuff the whole time. No GFE. Nothing on any other site or offsite. No gifts or even extra tips just because. No taking about life or anything remotely personal. He was an ok payer but not a regular and not a high payer or whale.

He sent me this long monologue saying he couldn’t see me anymore, he was tired of putting energy into me, he deserved better for himself blah blah blah. It was like 2 pages long.

Literally. We never even talked. It was all total explicit smut that went down the whole shows. Like nothing. Not even stuff like “how’s your day going today/ how’s the dog/ how’s work treating you?”. Like nothing. Nada. Zip. They were actually even less personal than the average show. Nothing even remotely romantic or non horn dog went down

Sounds like he just got a bad case of post fap wankxiety.

 

[misterical]

It's a definitely a minority of users that have major problems. The abusive ones are probably the most common problem that crops up numberwise.
And you're right there is definitely a confirmation bias on forums like this.

The abusive guys are the worst. They provoke a strong reaction from me, especially if I know the model. I try to bite my tongue but it's difficult at times. What's wrong with starting a conversation with "hey" or something equally polite?

 

[ArcticKitty]

A lot of the Dudes I interact with seem totally cool.

A lot of this weird stuff probably only happens once in a great while. We hear about it a lot here, but there are literally 1000s of cam models out there, and not that many places for chat, as far as I understand it. And it seems like there are so many scenarios that could be going on.

Is this an example of availability or representativeness? I'm confused about the the difference.

I agree, we're seeing and talking about the exceptions not the rule here.

 

[misterical]

@GeorgeSpelvin Any update? Have you managed to maintain your resolve in the face of Christmas and all that brings?

 

[ArcticKitty]

aisi, the white knight would be trying to save me from myself. Which is utterly insulting.

 

[MarieElise]

Is this an example of availability or representativeness? I'm confused about the the difference.

Is which part an example of availability or representativeness? I’m a bit lost on that part but would love to learn what that means? Statistics?

ETA; ok something to do with heuristics. Interesting. I’ll think about it. A lot to mentally digest in this thread. But very fascinating.

 

[JohnOfC]

It is almost always newcomers to a token site who end up in a room with a girl performing a love conn on random visitors, waiting for one to bite....
If the customer says something about it, it is dismissed as a joke and they try something else.
That's how these studios work.
What I increasingly see is that they offer a GFE with the intention of "drowning" the customer in a love conn.
It is actually nothing new, but a problem for newcomers, who have no idea what they are up to.

 

[Omne35]

It is almost always newcomers to a token site who end up in a room with a girl performing a love conn on random visitors, waiting for one to bite....
If the customer says something about it, it is dismissed as a joke and they try something else.
That's how these studios work.
What I increasingly see is that they offer a GFE with the intention of "drowning" the customer in a love conn.
It is actually nothing new, but a problem for newcomers, who have no idea what they are up to.

The length of time using cams doesn't have that large of an effect. The issue is their state of mind at the time it occurs. Veteran users may be even more susceptible since they assume they know everything and would recognize a scam. As shown in the real world experience isn't necessarily a shield to being conned.

 

[JohnOfC]

The length of time using cams doesn't have that large of an effect. The issue is their state of mind at the time it occurs. Veteran users may be even more susceptible since they assume they know everything and would recognize a scam. As shown in the real world experience isn't necessarily a shield to being conned.

I think that is definitely true, but it also depends on the user how he uses the webcam service.
I am often offline sometimes weeks in a row, When I come online I very often choose the same girls because I like them.
Sure the girls love that, suddenly they make a lot of money in a short time.
This behavior I think has protected me, Behavior of a whale as you call it

 

[melanieoncam]

I'm sorry that the line between "love cons" and gfe is being blurred here to the point you feel we think love cons are biz as usual.

It's normal to make someone feel immersed in a fantasy/gfe as a model. It's even normal to lie about things.

It's not normal to make someone think you are actually interested in a relationship and decieve them for the purposes of profit. That's shitty. No one here thinks that's ok.

Exactly. I hate it when models do this and when crooked studios encourage this behavior.

Most models I know would never do this. All it does is make our jobs harder because we get pissed off men in our rooms who think we are going to meet them and get angry that we are "all about the money" and don't realize this is a job lol, good grief.

I'm there to get paid to entertain in an erotic manner and that's all. I am never, ever going to meet or date or have sex with any member and am not interested at all. It annoys me to no end.

 

[misterical]

I think that is definitely true, but it also depends on the user how he uses the webcam service.
I am often offline sometimes weeks in a row, When I come online I very often choose the same girls because I like them.
Sure the girls love that, suddenly they make a lot of money in a short time.
This behavior I think has protected me, Behavior of a whale as you call it

The thing is, I've never been in the situation the OP is in but I can easily see how it could happen without you even realising until you were too far in. I have one particular model who I spend a lot of time with. When we have a good time together, a long chat and a good show, then I walk away from that feeling on top of the world. It's a real dopamine high. The difference is that she doesn't tell me she loves me (nor me her) and doesn't ask me for money outside of services on the site, so it's thankfully left at the point of two people enjoying each other's company and nothing more. However, as soon as one side takes it to that next level then it's problematic. If it's the user lovebombing an unwilling model then that's probably easier to deal with. If on the other hand the user is open to being loved and the model tells him she loves him in order to exploit him then that's the doomsday scenario for the member. It's really easy to see how you can end up visiting every night and starting to think that it's a real life relationship. If people want to believe something enough then they will always find a way to do so even if they have doubts in their mind.

The fact of the matter is that camsites are all about personal interaction. In certain parts of the world, there are unscrupulous people behind studios. We see these stories time and time again and have a megathread dedicated to them. Perhaps we need a post outlining common aspects of these scams, although I'm not even sure that would help. From what I've seen, the guys being love conned are usually well down the rabbit hole before they ever end up on this forum.

 

[MarieElise]

. Perhaps we need a post outlining common aspects of these scams, although I'm not even sure that would help.

A pinned checklist that models and members build together probably wouldn't hurt. I think a lot of the long term members of this forum would be able to rattle off quite a few aspects with close to 0 effort, given we've heard about these Love Cons so much. Maybe I'm just projecting my love of checklists here though... I personally adore checklists and find them invaluably helpful w positive productivity, problem solving, and making important decisions.

ETA; For some, reading through the threads, anmd separating those aspects out for themselves, when already in an emotional state of mind, is going to be near impossible.

 

[misterical]

A pinned checklist that models and members build together probably wouldn't hurt. I think a lot of the long term members of this forum would be able to rattle off quite a few aspects with close to 0 effort, given we've heard about these Love Cons so much. Maybe I'm just projecting my love of checklists here though...

I think the content is already there. It's just scattered throughout all of those "in love with a cam model" threads.

 

[MarieElise]

I think the content is already there. It's just scattered throughout all of those "in love with a cam model" threads.

I do too, but I think your average guy who comes here upset, and in an emotionally elevated state of mind is going to find it near impossible to read them all, and separate the important red flags out properly. Maybe I don't give others enough credit, I just know I would not be able to do that myself.