A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[MarieElise]

There is a difference between GFE (girl friend experience) and roleplay which has been agreed to and requested, and love cons. Just want to point that out. John seems to be refering more to roleplay and GFE, whereas what George is talking about appears to be a straight up love con.

I will note that out of context one can appear like the other to lurking, nosey observers. However, the client in question and the model, know what is really going on. If George never requested a roleplay or GFE, which I'm willing to bet he didn't, he most certainly shouldn't be getting one. And a shitty one at that, because when guys ask for a GFE they typically aren't requesting a real girl friend experience, complete with all that a real relationship entails (such as requests for money/ loans, periods, pregnancy scares, jealousy, lay offs, different schedules, differing sex drives, stanking ass feet, dutch ovens, people who "forget" basic courtesy of flushing and putting seats down, "people" who get in shitty moods when their team loses etc etc). They are usually looking for a fantasy with only the positive and high sex parts, not what a real girlfriend relationship actually entails.

It does sound like George is victim to a Love Con, and did not request some kind of long-term, ongoing roleplay.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

If I wanted to feel important I would start a topic myself with love-conn blablabla
I just gave you some advice, and maybe it's a different model that I talked to that could be.
She might also be lying to me, I've said that before.

George said: Well I appreciate your concern...I think. You seem very familiar with Russian/Eastern European studio scams.
Yes I have, I've been on myfreecams and other websites occasionally for more than 10 years.

I keep trying to explain to you what they're going to do to you, and you keep looking it up.
I wouldn't be surprised if in a few weeks you're still in there feeling guilty and giving money.

make sure she can't contact you, I told you that too.
But also keep in mind that there are people who pay for this kind of service, not that I do but they are there.
And you are one of those who thought it was real.

But also keep in mind that there are people who pay for this kind of service, not that I do but they are there.
And you are one of those who thought it was real

Based on what others have said, Girlfriend Experience is a roleplay situation but both parties know the terms. A GFE isn't the same as a romance scam. In this case, I never asked for this "service," directly or indirectly, and when I began reacting with doubt (and expressing it), I got increasing insistence (not to mention several episodes of her crying and claiming that I was causing her emotional distress by questioning her).

Add to this the model going offsite and taking money offsite...and the model providing info that turned out to be risky for her... This got faraway from what I would understand to be a GFE.

I'm fairly certain you haven't talked to this particular model but it wouldn't matter if you did. I was frequently catching discrepancies but I think she was being truthful when she once said she has "no conscience when it comes to men or their feelings." The heart of the scam is to make you feel that you're the exception; the guy who is somehow different and better.

Happy Holidays!

 

[ArcticKitty]

There is a difference between GFE (girl friend experience) and roleplay which has been agreed to and requested, and love cons. Just want to point that out. John seems to be refering more to roleplay and GFE, whereas what George is talking about appears to be a straight up love con.

I will note that out of context one can appear like the other to lurking, nosey observers. However, the client in question and the model, know what is really going on. If George never requested a roleplay or GFE, which I'm willing to bet he didn't, he most certainly shouldn't be getting one. And a shitty one at that, because when guys ask for a GFE they typically aren't requesting a real girl friend experience, complete with all that a real relationship entails (such as requests for money/ loans, periods, pregnancy scares, jealousy, lay offs, different schedules, differing sex drives, stanking ass feet, dutch ovens, people who "forget" basic courtesy of flushing and putting seats down, "people" who get in shitty moods when their team loses etc etc). They are usually looking for a fantasy with only the positive and high sex parts, not what a real girlfriend relationship actually entails.

It does sound like George is victim to a Love Con, and did not request some kind of long-term, ongoing roleplay.

My understanding of a GFE is an evening that includes sex. There's kissing, cuddling and conversation. I suppose that a model could do GFEs too, I just think of them as a real life service.

 

[MarieElise]

My understanding of a GFE is an evening that includes sex. There's kissing, cuddling and conversation. I suppose that a model could do GFEs too, I just think of them as a real life service.

Yes gfe with an escort and gfe with a cam model are different. Gfe experience is very common request of cam models. But, yes, it’s different than an escort gfe in many, many ways. With cam models it can be a gfe style single show or a longer term arrangement like a week or month etc etc But very, very commonly sought, and negotiated. All the major clip sites also have a gfe category for that style of shows/ clips.

I think by real life you mean cyber vs in person. It’s all real life. But I know it’s common for people to pretend like the internet isn’t, I’ve done it myself too. However I would encourage everyone to remember it’s all real life and real humans interacting with real humans. I don’t like this divide we seem to have developed as a society where somehow internet interactions aren’t real life, because they are over distance.

 

[ArcticKitty]

That's quite a rationalization. The fact is, you really don't know much about me. I gave a lot of detail about the situation...<snip>

If you're going to reply to a post, please quote in context.

And while I really do hate lovecons, and I'm sure that many victims really are innocent and vulnerable and were ruthlessly preyed upon, I also can't help thinking that many other victims are assholes themselves.

Notise that you were not mentioned.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Yes gfe with an escort and gfe with a cam model are different. Gfe experience is very common request of cam models. But, yes, it’s different than an escort gfe in many, many ways. With cam models it can be a gfe style single show or a longer term arrangement like a week or month etc etc But very, very commonly sought, and negotiated. All the major clip sites also have a gfe category for that style of shows/ clips.

I think by real life you mean cyber vs in person. It’s all real life. But I know it’s common for people to pretend like the internet isn’t, I’ve done it myself too. However I would encourage everyone to remember it’s all real life and real humans interacting with real humans. I don’t like this divide we seem to have developed as a society where somehow internet interactions aren’t real life, because they are over distance.

I can see it. Special shows and clips, virtual dates, calls/texts - like a simulated long distance relationship, yes?

You're right, I meant cyber vs. in person. Do you mean that internet interactions are a part of our social lives and just as real?

 

[MarieElise]

I can see it. Special shows and clips, virtual dates, calls/texts - like a simulated long distance relationship, yes?

You're right, I meant cyber vs. in person. Do you mean that internet interactions are a part of our social lives and just as real?

Yes and yes.

I meant a lot more than that with the in real life part, but I’m faded for the night. And too tired to really articulate the full extent of what I’m trying to get at right now. I have the feeling I could pontificate on my social philosophies related to that for a verrrrrry long time, and really distract the thread.

I spend a looot of time thinking about internet interactions, text based communications, ethics and social responsibilities. Probably more than I should. But I also feel that it’s a really relevant and pressing topic, especially for younger generations after mine.

Anyways hope you are having a good one, staying warm, safe and Happy. Merry Holidays

 

[ArcticKitty]

((((((MarieElise!!))) I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on social interactions and ethics and mores in the Net Age. Whenever you feel like and whenever convenient for you.

Merry Christmas/Cool Yule

 

[ArcticKitty]

Random: And of course in-person GFEs may mean different things to people, depending. For instance, I would call a "hot date" a GFE even if it's part of the normal service. (With outcalls, having dinner may be off the clock and the hourly rate starts in the room). No rush intimate time with snuggling and pillow talk would certainly qualify.

And for the sake of staying somewhat on-topic, GFEs are risky because it's easy to get feelings for someone.

 

[MarieElise]

Random: And of course in-person GFEs may mean different things to people, depending. For instance, I would call a "hot date" a GFE even if it's part of the normal service. (With outcalls, having dinner may be off the clock and the hourly rate starts in the room). No rush intimate time with snuggling and pillow talk would certainly qualify.

And for the sake of staying somewhat on-topic, GFEs are risky because it's easy to get feelings for someone.

Lots of cam models specialize in gfe. I’m more into niche office domination myself but I do do the odd bit of gfe and sometimes marriage fetish which has a little overlap. However there are cam models whos whole main focus is cyber gfe, and who do a ton of it.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Lots of cam models specialize in gfe. I’m more into niche office domination myself, but I do do the odd bit of gfe and sometimes marriage fetish which has a little overlap. However there are cam models whos whole main focus is cyber gfe, and who do a ton of it.

Hmm..what's a marriage fetish?

 

[MarieElise]

Hmm..what's a marriage fetish?

Oh God don’t ask. Lol. Another roleplay. Often it goes long term w the same client. It gets complex.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I should have known that some models specialise. I know that a lot of users are seeking company with a model, not just csex.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Oh God don’t ask. Lol. Another roleplay. Often it goes long term w the same client. It gets complex.

Wow. Is there a RPG fetish out there? Like Dungeons & Dragons or GURPS?

 

[ArcticKitty]

oh wait! It must be late for you too! Catch up after tomorrow?

 

[MarieElise]

Wow. Is there a RPG fetish out there? Like Dungeons & Dragons or GURPS?

Probably. The guys that are into niche roleplay s are usually really creative and cool. I stay away from some of the more common roleplay cam sex genres and tend to do the more niche, creative individual stuff. Never had that, but I’m sure it’s out there.

oh wait! It must be late for you too! Catch up after tomorrow?

Sure thing haha watch out, I’m in Uber ramble on forever mode these days.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Probably. The guys that are into niche roleplay s are usually really creative and cool. I stay away from some of the more common roleplay cam sex genres and tend to do the more niche, creative individual stuff. Never had that, but I’m sure it’s out there.


Sure thing haha watch out, I’m in Uber ramble on forever mode these days.

Adderall insomnia here after getting in.

 

[MarieElise]

Adderall insomnia here after getting in.

I used to get that too. Had to switch to instant release. Can’t take it anymore but had a script for many years. The extended release always gave me insomnia.

 

[misterical]

I think the GFE encompasses a whole range of interactions, some requested and others not necessarily asked for. I think as soon as communication moves outside of the platform it becomes a GFE of sorts. I think the model I visit unintentionally provides me with a GFE, despite neither of us having romantic intentions nor specifically addressing the topic of a GFE. So it's quite a nuanced thing that can range from overblown declarations of love and a future together right down to basic mundane stuff like sharing small life details and it can be either an active choice or just a natural evolution.

I think any and all of these things are fine so long as both sides know the boundaries and the expectations. From where I'm standing it seems like George is on the receiving end of a bad GFE where he has all the emotional and financial commitments of a real long term relationship (and some) but with none of the enjoyable stuff.

I've said it before but there's nothing wrong with a GFE so long as the financial part remains within the confines of what is usually expected in a model/member transaction. That way, nobody is being conned. You may overspend but you've still received a service for that overspend. Once you indicate a willingness to pay for intangible, everyday expenses stuff off-site then you're open to being abused.

 

[misterical]

And despite me disagreeing with the actions of JohnOfC, I do think he may be right on one thing. I think it's entirely possible that there is an evolving script at a studio level to try and allay your fears and keep you hooked. Ultimately, all they need to do is make you doubt yourself more than you doubt her. Be careful.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I think the GFE encompasses a whole range of interactions, some requested and others not necessarily asked for. I think as soon as communication moves outside of the platform it becomes a GFE of sorts. I think the model I visit unintentionally provides me with a GFE, despite neither of us having romantic intentions nor specifically addressing the topic of a GFE. So it's quite a nuanced thing that can range from overblown declarations of love and a future together right down to basic mundane stuff like sharing small life details and it can be either an active choice or just a natural evolution.

I think any and all of these things are fine so long as both sides know the boundaries and the expectations. From where I'm standing it seems like George is on the receiving end of a bad GFE where he has all the emotional and financial commitments of a real long term relationship (and some) but with none of the enjoyable stuff.

I've said it before but there's nothing wrong with a GFE so long as the financial part remains within the confines of what is usually expected in a model/member transaction. That way, nobody is being conned. You may overspend but you've still received a service for that overspend. Once you indicate a willingness to pay for intangible, everyday expenses stuff off-site then you're open to being abused.

I don't think you quite grasp what a girlfriend experience is. It's a sex worker acting like a girlfriend with the conversation and affection but not the maintenance of a girlfriend. I don't think you're in a GFE arrangement and George for sure was not.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Probably. The guys that are into niche roleplay s are usually really creative and cool. I stay away from some of the more common roleplay cam sex genres and tend to do the more niche, creative individual stuff. Never had that, but I’m sure it’s out there.

Sure thing haha watch out, I’m in Uber ramble on forever mode these days.

I like the idea of erotic LARP even though I'm not really picturing it clearly; I keep thinking of Renaissance faire cosplay.

Like the song goes, ramble on! I find it interesting and I expect that you have insights that haven't occured to me and most other people.

 

[AudriTwo]

I don't think you quite grasp what a girlfriend experience is. It's a sex worker acting like a girlfriend with the conversation and affection but not the maintenance of a girlfriend. I don't think you're in a GFE arrangement and George for sure was not.

Agree. GFE is not this deep nuanced thing. It's an agreement between too people to act out as if they were in a relationship. It's roleplay. Boundaries aren't usually blurred, because there is a mutual understanding that it isnt real.

Models who hustle gfe without this agreement/understanding are love-conners.

George was love-conned.

 

[misterical]

Agree. GFE is not this deep nuanced thing. It's an agreement between too people to act out as if they were in a relationship. It's roleplay. Boundaries aren't usually blurred, because there is a mutual understanding that it isnt real.

Models who hustle gfe without this agreement/understanding are love-conners.

George was love-conned.

Yeah, from what I've read since I posted that it's more of an active choice arrangement. I was thinking of the off-site communication as some kind of crossover into that but it's definitely a stretch. Whatever we decide to label George's experience, I think we'd all agree that it isn't great.

 

[Smoothie]

I was thinking of the off-site communication as some kind of crossover into that but it's definitely a stretch.

Offsite communication is pretty common and doesn’t necessarily indicate what kind of “hustle” (if any) is being employed. Often, it’s just the model staying in touch with a good client and nothing more. The same way a good salesman might send a recent buyer a Christmas card.

In a GFE, if a client got confused enough to ask a model if it was the real thing, I would think she would remind him it’s the GFE he requested/is paying for rather than double down on the fantasy, like what happened to George.

 

[misterical]

Offsite communication is pretty common and doesn’t necessarily indicate what kind of “hustle” (if any) is being employed. Often, it’s just the model staying in touch with a good client and nothing more. The same way a good salesman might send a recent buyer a Christmas card.

In a GFE, if a client got confused enough to ask a model if it was the real thing, I would think she would remind him it’s the GFE he requested/is paying for rather than double down on the fantasy, like what happened to George.

Every day on this forum I learn a new thing. Sometimes it's completely new. Other times it's that something that I thought I meant one thing actually means another. The only consistent factor is that I never fail to be amazed about the shit that is out there and what people are prepared to pay for.

 

[MarieElise]

There’s also a whole 3rd thing that goes on that is neither an agreed upon gfe nor a love con. I’ve experienced it a few times , but not a ton admittedly. It’s when a guy projects weird delusional stuff on to the model with absolutely 0 to base it off of. I’m not sure what you’d call that. Maybe more parasocial or someone who is struggling with mental health. Or some kind of combo of parasocial w mental/ emotional/ social health struggles.

Basically when a guy acts like and accuses a model of love conning him, when she genuinely hasn’t. And he’s basing it off of imaginary and projected stuff, that was all in his own noggin the whole time. Maybe that’s just called being a dick.

 

[Smoothie]

There’s also a whole 3rd thing that goes on that is neither an agreed upon gfe nor a love con. I’ve experienced it a few times , but not a ton admittedly. It’s when a guy projects weird delusional stuff on to the model with absolutely 0 to base it off of. I’m not sure what you’d call that. Maybe more parasocial or someone who is struggling with mental health. Or some kind of combo of parasocial w mental/ emotional/ social health struggles.

Basically when a guy acts like and accuses a model of love conning him, when she genuinely hasn’t. And he’s basing it off of imaginary and projected stuff, that was all in his own noggin the whole time. Maybe that’s just called being a dick.

And in cases where the member is delusional or having a mental issue unique to them - or just flat-out refuses to see reality - there’s probably no reliable way to show them that’s what is happening.

They’re already disconnected from reason, so reasoning with them is a dead end.

 

[misterical]

There’s also a whole 3rd thing that goes on that is neither an agreed upon gfe nor a love con. I’ve experienced it a few times , but not a ton admittedly. It’s when a guy projects weird delusional stuff on to the model with absolutely 0 to base it off of. I’m not sure what you’d call that. Maybe more parasocial or someone who is struggling with mental health. Or some kind of combo of parasocial w mental/ emotional/ social health struggles.

Basically when a guy acts like and accuses a model of love conning him, when she genuinely hasn’t. And he’s basing it off of imaginary and projected stuff, that was all in his own noggin the whole time. Maybe that’s just called being a dick.

And on what basis? Because she was charging him for privates? I wouldn't be surprised to learn that cam sites are full of guys who are led by their dick and overspend and then blame models for their own lack of fiscal control.

 

[Ozzie_]

And on what basis? Because she was charging him for privates? I wouldn't be surprised to learn that cam sites are full of guys who are led by their dick and overspend and then blame models for their own lack of fiscal control.

I think it is more on the same basis that, even in real life, many men (mainly young but also older maybe "unevolved"/ inexperienced) mistake general kindness, civility, and politeness on the part of women to be romantic "interest" in them.