A model seeking love and a future with a client? Or a manipulative romance scammer? One year anniversary! Ideas and impressions sought, please.

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I took the asshole comment to be related to guys in the past that have come here and behaved poorly when we've tried to help them. I never took it as being related to you. There's been a pattern of guys coming here, venting, leaning on all of us for emotional support, then getting angry and lashing out at us. So many of us are wary in these kinds of threads. May I ask why you still talk and have contact with this model? No judgement, purely curious?

May I ask why you still talk and have contact with this model? No judgement, purely curious?

I stopped sending money altogether recently and it's now turned into a combination of 1) an experiment and 2) weaning myself off the situation. She's now beginning to do things like ask me for money to help with this or that situation but when I hedge about it, she will very quickly say, "Never mind, forget it. I don't want you to feel pressured to help me." I'm beginning to see what happens in the "relationship" with money taken out of the equation, and it's helping me to see this in a different way. (But not going to lie...I actually still do get some positive emotion from talking to her...though it's way down from what it was in the past). Most people would probably say I should have just cut all contact cleanly (a long time ago, too) and yeah....that would probably be the ideal, healthy thing to have done. I don't deny it.

 

[MarieElise]

....that would probably be the ideal, healthy thing to have done. I don't deny it.

Different people are just different in how they deal with stuff. This all makes sense and sounds normal to me. I was actually wondering if maybe you were trying to get her to send some of the money back. And I was going to advise you that, that probably isn't going to happen. But it sounds like you're just going through your unique process.

I'm a person who doesn't struggle at all with cutting people off. However, I would say the majority of the people I meet and interact with, do struggle with clean breaks, and go about things in a more gradual, non-linear fashion. As long as you are protecting yourself, and not letting yourself get talked back into anything, or go into denial over what you've already learned. Because one of those stages of loss is also denial. So maybe irrelevant here, but wanted to share for the sake of general information.

ETA; I also think that when any of us deal with/ interact w someone anti-social there's also an element of shock and disbelief. So it can take time to find sense or meaning in what's happened. We all process in different ways and at different speeds.

 

[misterical]

This is mostly correct but the clever thing (on her part) was that this was done very gradually, over time. It was as though she were revealing more and more over time; allowing me to be part of her actual life; communicating in a wider range of situations and so on. I think this added to the illusion of it being like an actual long-distance relationship that was developing. But to your point, yes, the essence of her gimmick is: You now are part of my real world; you know my real feelings; and so on...


It was easy for this to happen because even onsite, we talked. That was basically the essence of it. But over time - and I guess this is the strategy - she began to very gradually shift that into something with a romantic tone...and eventually it became a more overt concept along the lines of, "Yeah, I want to get out of this place and this work...with YOU." And then the communications shifted off-site, so she didn't have to give a cut to a studio.


Yes, that's on me. I think there are three reasons: 1) Even if you suspect something, it's not always that easy to cut it off immediately because emotions are involved and you don't want to accept that a person could so blatantly and repeatedly lie, 2) It started to take on a quality of trying to "prove" to myself what was going on, one way or the other, 3) Even though I was wasting money, I wasn't hurting for money and so I wasn't in distress over that aspect

Being let into someones life, anyone's life, is a very intimate thing. For me it's way more intimate than any act on a cam site. There is a model who I speak to daily who communicates with me offsite and shares so much of her life with me. I admit that it's flattering and addictive. However the difference is that she never asks me for money. Never has done. Not once in 7 months. As soon as you start handing out money then you are on a slippery slope pal. Unfortunately, the addiction to the offsite communication and the resulting closeness is probably going to be harder to break than the habit of visiting the site. I wish you luck.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Different people are just different in how they deal with stuff. This all makes sense and sounds normal to me. I was actually wondering if maybe you were trying to get her to send some of the money back. And I was going to advise you that, that probably isn't going to happen. But it sounds like you're just going through your unique process.

I'm a person who doesn't struggle at all with cutting people off. However I would say the majority of the people I meet and interact with, do struggle with clean breaks, and go about things in a more gradual, non-linear fashion. As long as you are protecting yourself, and not letting yourself get talked back into anything, or go into denial over what you've already learned. Because one of those stages of loss is also denial. So maybe irrelevant here, but wanted to share for the sake of general information.

I was actually wondering of maybe you were trying to get her to send some of the money back. And I was going to advise you that, that probably isn't going to happen.

That never occurred to me but there's no way it would happen even if I asked. Not the way this woman has perpetually talked about her financial needs. Even if the needs are exaggerated or she's doing okay, she isn't going to send any money back to me. And over the course of a year, yeah, it added up...but it wasn't anything like some of the horror stories people have mentioned about guys blowing $50K or $100K on a love scam. A lot of it was money spent in privates (chatting) with some extra "gifts" offsite.

I'm a person who doesn't struggle at all with cutting people off

Maybe cam models possibly learn to be good at this? It seems that the nature of the business is that you talk to a lot of people, and even some clients maybe you get somewhat close with...but even they usually wind up leaving after a while (for whatever reason). This is more a question or speculation...I'm just wondering if the nature of the job helps a person get better at this or at least used to it. For me, I was talking a lot with this one model - a lot - so it wasn't so easy to just quit.

not letting yourself get talked back into anything

She is trying from an interesting angle now.

 

[JohnOfC]

Right, but I understand Russian and Polish pretty well.
But she's probably lying to me too? How can I know that?
If you manage to be with her and not give her any money, that's the fastest way to emotional healing.
I do worry though, are your thoughts still in the here and now?.
And I worry that you will soon be sucked back into a studio script anyway which she has done to you, the script is not over just this phase is over they are now choosing a script based on your reaction.
I don't want to interfere with your story any further.
I wish you the best and good luck with the choices you will make.

 

[inertvolcano]

This is the weirdest thing I've seen in a while.

 

[misterical]

This is the weirdest thing I've seen in a while.

Either everyone is fucking with us, nobody is fucking with us or everyone is fucking with each other but I agree, this is utterly bizarre.

 

[Omne35]

I usually just view stuff like this as performance art.

 

[AudriTwo]

Lol merry Christmas y'all

 

[Finchomatic]

 

[EmmaFox]

Lol merry Christmas y'all

Um I'm pretty sure this is chrismeth

 

[misterical]

I usually just view stuff like this as performance art.

Sort of like the cam world version of a late period Faith No More album?

 

[misterical]

I also can't adequately express how disappointed I was to wake up and find that this hadn't taken another wild, leftfield twist overnight

 

[Maxi]

I reckon it’s the same guy…

 

[Hiunds]

I heard Spielberg bought the film rights to this thread

 

[misterical]

I reckon it’s the same guy…

That did cross my mind, but surely if he was going to those kind of lengths then "Svetlana" would have put in an appearance as well.

 

[inertvolcano]

I reckon it’s the same guy…

I don't think that's quite fair.

 

[Maxi]

I don't think that's quite fair.

To be honest it’s difficult to take anything at face value on the internet.

 

[MarieElise]

It has happened before on this forum… several times. I don’t know what is going on, but it did cross my mind too. I hope it’s not what’s going on here though.

 

[misterical]

It has happened before on this forum… several times. I don’t know what is going on but it did cross my mind too. I hope it’s not what’s going on here though.

Is it too late for me to ask Santa for the truth behind what is going on here?

 

[MarieElise]

Is it too late for me to ask Santa for the truth behind what is going on here?

Lol no. I’m so curious too. Plot twist; the troll is Santa himself.

 

[misterical]

Lol no. I’m so curious too. Plot twist; the troll is Santa himself.

Close, but not quite. Santa is the model.

 

[MarieElise]

Close, but not quite. Santa is the model.

Merry 2022 BBs !!

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

I reckon it’s the same guy…

Umm...sorry to say that no, this isn't an elaborate hoax. Read JohnOfC's last post again and note the backtrack. He doesn't know me; he has never spoken to the model; he has no idea who the model is. I even welcomed him to DM me or post something here that would reasonably prove he knows the model; no reply.

My best guess is that he is either: a) desperate to feel important to meet some emotional need or b) he thinks he might know the model because of some prior experience and he's trying to defend her (which would also probably be due to a very extreme need to feel important to that model), but he's not got the right person (a wild guess on his part).

But...my challenge to him remains: He was trying to get me to post her model names... I didn't but if HE does and he gets it right, I'll be happy to give him credit...

Then he can explain himself how or why he got involved in the first place.

But don't hold your breath... I'll put it at 99% probability it's a troll who wants to feel important...

When I have time after the holiday, I'll follow up with replies to some questions and comments about the actual situation. Thanks also to everyone who has given their thoughts and advice in this thread. I tried to give a detailed and honest account of the story and I appreciate the wide range of perspectives.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Either everyone is fucking with us, nobody is fucking with us or everyone is fucking with each other but I agree, this is utterly bizarre.

I responded already but I'll add: 99% probability that this guy trying to "help" me with his unsolicited advice and mediation doesn't know the model and is inventing the part about talking to her (or any model) about this.

In the 1% (or less) chance that he was able to identify her based on my story, think about what it would mean! It would mean that he knows this model runs scams like this or he is somehow connected to her and her studio and trying to keep her out of trouble. Chance of any of that? Low. Or was he scammed by same girl? Maybe he's trying to determine it...

Even his comments about how he talked to her yesterday and "she was just offering a fantasy and feels bad" doesn't even match up with this model's recent conversations with me. (For anyone interested, she's been doubling down; insisting she was sincere in her feelings and intentions and now she's trying to 'prove' it).

The guy is throwing out all sorts of contradictory stuff, figuring even the blind squirrel will find a nut.

 

[misterical]

Umm...sorry to say that no, this isn't an elaborate hoax. Read JohnOfC's last post again and note the backtrack. He doesn't know me; he has never spoken to the model; he has no idea who the model is. I even welcomed him to DM me or post something here that would reasonably prove he knows the model; no reply.

My best guess is that he is either: a) desperate to feel important to meet some emotional need or b) he thinks he might know the model because of some prior experience and he's trying to defend her (which would also probably be due to a very extreme need to feel important to that model), but he's not got the right person (a wild guess on his part).

But...my challenge to him remains: He was trying to get me to post her model names... I didn't but if HE does and he gets it right, I'll be happy to give him credit...

Then he can explain himself how or why he got involved in the first place.

But don't hold your breath... I'll put it at 99% probability it's a troll who wants to feel important...

When I have time after the holiday, I'll follow up with replies to some questions and comments about the actual situation. Thanks also to everyone who has given their thoughts and advice in this thread. I tried to give a detailed and honest account of the story and I appreciate the wide range of perspectives.

Look after yourself mate. Have a good Christmas. Oh and by the way, if she tells you that her parrot wants a new moped for his Christmas then maybe think twice before you send one

 

[misterical]

Umm...sorry to say that no, this isn't an elaborate hoax. Read JohnOfC's last post again and note the backtrack. He doesn't know me; he has never spoken to the model; he has no idea who the model is. I even welcomed him to DM me or post something here that would reasonably prove he knows the model; no reply.

My best guess is that he is either: a) desperate to feel important to meet some emotional need or b) he thinks he might know the model because of some prior experience and he's trying to defend her (which would also probably be due to a very extreme need to feel important to that model), but he's not got the right person (a wild guess on his part).

But...my challenge to him remains: He was trying to get me to post her model names... I didn't but if HE does and he gets it right, I'll be happy to give him credit...

Then he can explain himself how or why he got involved in the first place.

But don't hold your breath... I'll put it at 99% probability it's a troll who wants to feel important...

When I have time after the holiday, I'll follow up with replies to some questions and comments about the actual situation. Thanks also to everyone who has given their thoughts and advice in this thread. I tried to give a detailed and honest account of the story and I appreciate the wide range of perspectives.

The last post was tongue in cheek. In all seriousness though, Christmas can be a lonely time. It could be easy to lean back into this model and take everything she says at face value again. Maintain a healthy scepticism until she proves otherwise. Have a good one.

 

[GeorgeSpelvin]

Right, but I understand Russian and Polish pretty well.
But she's probably lying to me too? How can I know that?
If you manage to be with her and not give her any money, that's the fastest way to emotional healing.
I do worry though, are your thoughts still in the here and now?.
And I worry that you will soon be sucked back into a studio script anyway which she has done to you, the script is not over just this phase is over they are now choosing a script based on your reaction.
I don't want to interfere with your story any further.
I wish you the best and good luck with the choices you will make.

And I worry that you will soon be sucked back into a studio script anyway which she has done to you, the script is not over just this phase is over they are now choosing a script based on your reaction.

Well I appreciate your concern...I think. You seem very familiar with Russian/Eastern European studio scams.

Perhaps you should share, for me and the rest of the viewing audience: How would you be able to identify this particular model based solely on my story? I mentioned only that she's Russian and I said some of the sites she's on. Not much to go on...there are thousands of cam models in Russia.

 

[JohnOfC]

Umm...sorry to say that no, this isn't an elaborate hoax. Read JohnOfC's last post again and note the backtrack. He doesn't know me; he has never spoken to the model; he has no idea who the model is. I even welcomed him to DM me or post something here that would reasonably prove he knows the model; no reply.

My best guess is that he is either: a) desperate to feel important to meet some emotional need or b) he thinks he might know the model because of some prior experience and he's trying to defend her (which would also probably be due to a very extreme need to feel important to that model), but he's not got the right person (a wild guess on his part).

But...my challenge to him remains: He was trying to get me to post her model names... I didn't but if HE does and he gets it right, I'll be happy to give him credit...

Then he can explain himself how or why he got involved in the first place.

But don't hold your breath... I'll put it at 99% probability it's a troll who wants to feel important...

When I have time after the holiday, I'll follow up with replies to some questions and comments about the actual situation. Thanks also to everyone who has given their thoughts and advice in this thread. I tried to give a detailed and honest account of the story and I appreciate the wide range of perspectives.

If I wanted to feel important I would start a topic myself with love-conn blablabla
I just gave you some advice, and maybe it's a different model that I talked to that could be.
She might also be lying to me, I've said that before.

George said: Well I appreciate your concern...I think. You seem very familiar with Russian/Eastern European studio scams.
Yes I have, I've been on myfreecams and other websites occasionally for more than 10 years.

I keep trying to explain to you what they're going to do to you, and you keep looking it up.
I wouldn't be surprised if in a few weeks you're still in there feeling guilty and giving money.

make sure she can't contact you, I told you that too.
But also keep in mind that there are people who pay for this kind of service, not that I do but they are there.
And you are one of those who thought it was real.

 

[yummybrownfox]

He doesn't know me; he has never spoken to the model; he has no idea who the model is.

My best guess is that he is either: a) desperate to feel important to meet some emotional need or b) he thinks he might know the model because of some prior experience and he's trying to defend her (which would also probably be due to a very extreme need to feel important to that model), but he's not got the right person (a wild guess on his part).

But...my challenge to him remains: He was trying to get me to post her model names... I didn't but if HE does and he gets it right, I'll be happy to give him credit...

Then he can explain himself how or why he got involved in the first place.

But don't hold your breath... I'll put it at 99% probability it's a troll who wants to feel important...

Kind of reminds me of the guys who’ll come into a model’s free chat, and pretend he knows her from somewhere…and will blurt out “Hi, Jennifer!” or something…hoping for a reaction. Possibly hoping that she’ll say “Huh? My name isn’t Jennifer…it’s _____.”