Yet another idiotic user.

[misterical]

Have you watched the 90 Day Fiancé episode about the American guy and the Colombian girl he had met on a chat? One of his friends tried to talk some sense into his head, but he wouldn't listen. Screenwriters have done a great job here. So basically, IIRC, he flew to Colombia only to find out she has 4-5 kids, all of them with differents fathers and her whole family live off her camming work, and, on top of that, while she was "in love" with the American guy, she even had time to have another kid with his actual boyfriend who btw happens to be in jail. I suggest you should go and watch it.

Can I politely suggest that you go and watch that episode, because that's not at all how it happened and it's painting the model in a light that is simply untrue. Yes, she had kids from different fathers but only two of them. They were well looked after. She didn't have another kid while she was with the American guy. Yes, some of the stuff the American guy was paying for was unethical but it was pretty clear that he was ok with that until the end. He was the one who came off as the asshole in the episode, not her. He tried to hide how he'd met her, which was more than she felt the need to do.

 

[misterical]

Forgot to say. That's all you need to know to get a picture.

Maybe I'm missing something but that doesn't exactly sound pricey compared to what a 6 hour private would cost on any major streaming platform. She's hardly robbing him at gunpoint with that price.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

that's not at all how it happened

It is highly unlikely I will ever watch it again, though I can see the entertainment value. It's quite possible I might have confused or forgotten a few bits of the story, I apologise if that is the case.

May I politely ask you, in your opinion, what would happen in case the guy doesn't buy her a new fridge or pay for her boob job? I mean, not that her boyfriend or father of her kids can, since he's in jail, right, isn't he? And, also, were you a friend of him, what would you recommend him to do?

Have no idea whether the guy is an ass*le or not, I just found that he didn't come off as someone who is being honest, mostly, with himself. That said, it takes 2 to tango.

She's hardly robbing him

Never said she was, it only goes to show how far 100$ will get you in some parts of this world.

 

[Life_Happens]

To me, the fact that she’s making him pay a single penny just to GO on a date tells me all I would need to know. No thanks, babe…buh bye.

ETA: but then, again, this is a business site, not a dating site, soooo…

 

[inertvolcano]

To me, the fact that she’s making him pay a single penny just to GO on a date tells me all I would need to know. No thanks, babe…buh bye.

ETA: but then, again, this is a business site, not a dating site, soooo…

I took it to mean it was a virtual date with a paid admission, so it was like he bought her a movie ticket. Not that he paid her to go on the date. Though maybe I'm splitting hairs.

He hasn't checked in in a while so I wonder if he's moved on, but for my part since he already has the tickets to Colombia I'm coming around to the idea that he should just try to meet up and see what happens, as long as he doesn't go anywhere or do anything dangerous, keeps his expectations in check, and treats her well regardless of how things turn out.

And then tell us about it.

 

[misterical]

It is highly unlikely I will ever watch it again, though I can see the entertainment value. It's quite possible I might have confused or forgotten a few bits of the story, I apologise if that is the case.

May I politely ask you, in your opinion, what would happen in case the guy doesn't buy her a new fridge or pay for her boob job? I mean, not that her boyfriend or father of her kids can, since he's in jail, right, isn't he? And, also, were you a friend of him, what would you recommend him to do?

Have no idea whether the guy is an ass*le or not, I just found that he didn't come off as someone who is being honest, mostly, with himself. That said, it takes 2 to tango.


Never said she was, it only goes to show how far 100$ will get you in some parts of this world.

The show in question is pretty toxic to be fair. It continually and forcefully pushes the narrative that the person from the poor country is only in the relationship for either material gain or a green card. The whole show is set up on that premise with interviews with family and friends of the American etc who openly air those views. Of course, almost without fail the person from the poorer country ends up looking like the one in the relationship with the real morals and standards while the Americans seem condescending, patronising and controlling. Every time.

I wouldn't ever suggest to a friend of mine that they should pay money or goods to someone in return for love and loyalty. However there is no evidence that this was what was going on here. He had the money and he chose to help her with a better standard of living. That literally happens in relationships and families all day, every day across the world. The show portrays it in a negative way simply because she is Colombian and a cam model. The unspoken suggestion is that she is a gold digger because of this. The feeling I got was that he was throwing stuff at her due to his own insecurities with the relationship.

Some of the abuse levelled at this woman on social media is horrific. She is continually harassed over it. I would argue that he was using the gifts to exert control over her. In fact, he demonstrated that clearly at the end when he refused to leave her house because he "paid the rent". An ugly situation all round.

 

[misterical]

I took it to mean it was a virtual date with a paid admission, so it was like he bought her a movie ticket. Not that he paid her to go on the date. Though maybe I'm splitting hairs.

He hasn't checked in in a while so I wonder if he's moved on, but for my part since he already has the tickets to Colombia I'm coming around to the idea that he should just try to meet up and see what happens, as long as he doesn't go anywhere or do anything dangerous, keeps his expectations in check, and treats her well regardless of how things turn out.

And then tell us about it.

I read it the same way, e.g. hiring the same movie from a streaming site, eating the same food, drinking wine together etc. Not paying her to go on the date.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

The whole show

It is clear that you know about this show more than I do. That might well be the "gimmick" of the show, have no idea. That said, I can tell you for a fact that I don't see many people around Europe enthusiastic and excited at the thought of placing a foot in the US as of now, if not for business only and for a short period of time, and certainly would never live there, except for few cities.

 

[Life_Happens]

Virtual date, or face to face, she’s still making him pay. If she wants a genuine relationship, then why not use Skype and engage like real LDR couples do.

Maybe I’m getting myself lost. But I just see it as another transactional business encounter.

 

[AudriTwo]

Virtual date, or face to face, she’s still making him pay. If she wants a genuine relationship, then why not use Skype and engage like real LDR couples do.

Maybe I’m getting myself lost. But I just see it as another transactional business encounter.

it definitely appears as if OP got himself hustled into another GFE.

 

[AmberCutie]

I wouldn't ever suggest to a friend of mine that they should pay money or goods to someone in return for love and loyalty. However there is no evidence that this was what was going on here. He had the money and he chose to help her with a better standard of living. That literally happens in relationships and families all day, every day across the world. The show portrays it in a negative way simply because she is Colombian and a cam model. The unspoken suggestion is that she is a gold digger because of this. The feeling I got was that he was throwing stuff at her due to his own insecurities with the relationship.

If we are talking about this couple:



Then there was definitely evidence that he was buying her "love"... she basically said she wasn't attracted to him and didn't love him at one point. She said he disgusted her. It became apparent that she hustled money out of him first online and then IRL. While he was visiting she asked for money for cosmetic surgery and got upset when he hesitated. He was paying for her apartment and other bills. It's like she was trying to make herself like him but was clearly repulsed at the sight of him.

 

[inertvolcano]

My sympathy is just with the model 99.99% of the time in these scenarios. Some middle class Anglo figures out his dollar goes ten times further in Colombia than it does in America and suddenly thinks he's Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not a hustle IMO. That's "redistribution of wealth."

 

[misterical]

It is clear that you know about this show more than I do. That might well be the "gimmick" of the show, have no idea. That said, I can tell you for a fact that I don't see many people around Europe enthusiastic and excited at the thought of placing a foot in the US as of now, if not for business only and for a short period of time, and certainly would never live there, except for few cities.

That's a fair point. As a European I wouldn't have any ambition to live in the US. You'd need to be in dire straits to want a green card at the moment.

 

[misterical]

If we are talking about this couple:

View attachment 93577

Then there was definitely evidence that he was buying her "love"... she basically said she wasn't attracted to him and didn't love him at one point. She said he disgusted her. It became apparent that she hustled money out of him first online and then IRL. While he was visiting she asked for money for cosmetic surgery and got upset when he hesitated. He was paying for her apartment and other bills. It's like she was trying to make herself like him but was clearly repulsed at the sight of him.

I don't recall the show ever really getting to the bottom of whether she asked for it or he offered it. It was left hanging in the air with the unspoken suggestion that she was the one doing the digging. Mainly because she was the foreigner. This was a guy punching so far above his weight it was ridiculous. He'd have thrown an entire showroom full of home appliances at this girl if he thought it would buy him time.

 

[AudriTwo]

My sympathy is just with the model 99.99% of the time in these scenarios. Some middle class Anglo figures out his dollar goes ten times further in Colombia than it does in America and suddenly thinks he's Richard Gere in Pretty Woman. That's not a hustle IMO. That's "redistribution of wealth."

in sex work, hustle means our sales pitch/alter ego used.

i dont see the harm if the member has been actively engaging in GFE with other models. the alleged girlfriend is selling what op wants, and op is experiencing the drama that might come with a relationship. sounds to me like services are being rendered.

i always wonder if the models guys like op who get caught up with have GFE tags or mentions in their profile...

 

[inertvolcano]

in sex work, hustle means our sales pitch/alter ego used.

i dont see the harm if the member has been actively engaging in GFE with other models. the alleged girlfriend is selling what op wants, and op is experiencing the drama that might come with a relationship. sounds to me like services are being rendered.

Thanks for clearing that up. I sometimes hear hustle as a synonym for scam, but I also hear it in the way you're using it here so I get it now.

i always wonder if the models guys like op who get caught up with have GFE tags or mentions in their profile...

I'm a GFE guy like OP, and I have never run into a Colombian model who knows what GFE is and have had to explain it every time. They have always been extremely enthusiastic, I imagine because it's a pretty chill gig if you're easy to get along with and easy money if you can keep a clear head. But the clear head can be hard, not just for emotionally confused guys like OP. I'm finding it's a real bad idea to pursue this with younger inexperienced models, especially studio models who work long lonely shifts, because they can get caught up in it and before I know it I'm hurting feelings by turning down an invitation to Christmas dinner in Bogota. I've realized there's an ethical consideration on the customer side of things to GFE, and you should make sure your model is an experienced performer who knows what she's getting into.

 

[AudriTwo]

I'm a GFE guy like OP, and I have never run into a Colombian model who knows what GFE is and have had to explain it every time. They have always been extremely enthusiastic, I imagine because it's a pretty chill gig if you're easy to get along with and easy money if you can keep a clear head.

i can assure you if they are in a studio, they know what GFE means and is playing ignorance on the subject. GFE is a popular and lucrative niche in camming. studios are known to train/coach their models to be online girlfriends to their regulars/big spenders.

you guys need to stop believing whatever pretty woman says to you online. especially if you are paying for her attention/entertainment.

 

[inertvolcano]

i can assure you if they are in a studio, they know what GFE means and is playing ignorance on the subject. GFE is a popular and lucrative niche in camming. studios are known to train/coach their models to be online girlfriends to their regulars/big spenders.

you guys need to stop believing whatever pretty woman says to you online. especially if you are paying for her attention/entertainment.

It really depends on the studio. A lot of the Colombian studios give the models a room and equipment, take half their money, and that's about it. Models don't get any coaching, training, and even have extremely unreliable access to tech support. The bigger studios sure but it's definitely not universal.

 

[AudriTwo]

It really depends on the studio. A lot of the Colombian studios give the models a room and equipment, take half their money, and that's about it. Models don't get any coaching, training, and even have extremely unreliable access to tech support. The bigger studios sure but it's definitely not universal.

of course, but really shouldn't trust what someone is telling you on the internet is factual especially if there are transactions involved. im not doubting there are studios that put models who have zero ideas about what they are doing- let alone what a camsite is. but i think you dudes really underestimate these models at times.


is it a damsel in distress or is it resourcefulness? the only person who will know is the model.

 

[inertvolcano]

of course, but really shouldn't trust what someone is telling you on the internet is factual especially if there are transactions involved. im not doubting there are studios that put models who have zero ideas about what they are doing- let alone what a camsite is. but i think you dudes really underestimate these models at times.

is it a damsel in distress or is it resourcefulness? the only person who will know is the model.

You make great points and I don't disagree at all, and I value your thoughts a lot. Self-preservation should be the number one priority and lovesick dopes throw it completely out the window. And god knows I've fucked up on that more than once in my life.

I get a bit defensive about Colombian models on here because of personal connections so I probably seem contrarian sometimes, and I'm sorry about that, but I 100% agree that cases like OPs are always a bad idea and they need a kick in the ass.

 

[NoelleNoirxo]

A tale old as time....

 

[misterical]

I have to admit, if I'm getting a GFE experience from my friend in Colombia then it's an authentic one. She raises her eyes in despair at my shit jokes, gets annoyed at me, refuses to go private and stops speaking to me for weeks at a time. The only thing she hasn't done yet is move out of her room and go to her mother's.

 

[misterical]

it definitely appears as if OP got himself hustled into another GFE.

Joking apart though, I agree. A Girlfriend Experience is fine. The problem comes when you lose sight of that and the word "Experience" gets lost down the back of the couch. Then, based on what I've seen here and elsewhere on the internet, it becomes a destructive game of throwing increasing amounts of money and gifts at the model to try and validate something that wasn't really there in the first place.

I know if often gets compared to falling in love with the stripper, but that required a fair bit of effort. Get up, get dressed, go to the cash machine, head to the strip club. The problem for some guys is that cam sites are always on and it's easy to get drawn into a "relationship" with a willing model without having to leave the house. With the pandemic normalising all sorts of relationships over Zoom, the lines became blurred for a lot of lonely people. Add into the mix that these are some of the most beautiful women in the world then it's easy to see how stories like Back Tattoo Guy happen.

Some of the stories in the "Falling in love with a cam model" section are pretty tragic. All of the guys end up a paranoid, jealous, mentally ill mess at best or multi-account stalkers trawling Google Maps looking for a rose bush in a front garden that matches one in a photo the model posted at worst. Worryingly, I suspect the OP is at least half way along the path between the two points.

I'm still not convinced it's always the model's fault though. Yes, the ones who fake grandma's accident and plead for money for hospital bills are scammers. But most of the time, horniness, male ego and a saviour complex result in men throwing money at models (particularly those in poorer countries) unprompted.

Like Inertvolcano, I'm also a bit defensive of Colombian models. They are often portrayed very badly and shows like the one we've been discussing don't help. I've always found them to be extremely courteous, hard working and honest.

 

[Ozzie_]

Like Inertvolcano, I'm also a bit defensive of Colombian models. They are often portrayed very badly and shows like the one we've been discussing don't help. I've always found them to be extremely courteous, hard working and honest.

I'll second this (or maybe it's third lol).

All of the Colombian models I have had contact with over the years have been friendly, hard-working, generous of spirit, fun, beautiful and sexy. I have never had one try to scam me, actually I have never had a model of any nationality try to scam me. Oh except that European model who negotiated a private show and then left the room (literally left her room), so that's one out of hundreds of models .

 

[misterical]

I'll second this (or maybe it's third lol).

All of the Colombian models I have had contact with over the years have been friendly, hard-working, generous of spirit, fun, beautiful and sexy. I have never had one try to scam me, actually I have never had a model of any nationality try to scam me. Oh except that European model who negotiated a private show and then left the room (literally left her room), so that's one out of hundreds of models .

I've met a few European models who are downright abusive and grumpy. I don't think I'm a demanding customer by any stretch of the imagination. I once got blocked by a Romanian model for telling her she had beautiful eyes. Apparently that made me a "time waster". No time for formalities or virtual foreplay in Romania. Right down to business chaps.

 

[Aprilsweetart]

I think you sound very lonely and you’re not so much asking for advice , more looking for some compassion.

I’m sorry you’re lonely. It’s incredibly difficult to be alone at the moment and I know you must feel very hopeful when you meet someone but I’m not sure this girl is right for you.

Long distance relationships are lonely enough as it is, and I’m not sure exchanging money for time is a great starting point. I’m sorry it’s not working out the way you wanted. Stay kind to yourself and walk away

 

[inertvolcano]

Sorry for any unkindness I directed your way OP. I'm lonely too.

 

[misterical]

OP, any update on this situation? Would be good to hear.

 

[Ozzie_]

OP, any update on this situation? Would be good to hear.

Probably left the forums when he didn't get a lot of sympathetic responses.


At least he did not turn abusive like many do.

 

[inertvolcano]

Yeah, Aprilsweetart's compassionate response made me feel like a real heel because this situation doesn't come from a healthy place, and this guy at least seemed self-aware about it and wasn't a hostile weirdo.