What happens next.....

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

WAY off topic, sorry!

I guess you have to decide whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them...

Upon rereading, I'm pretty sure you meant this as a harmless line to be read as is. But when I first saw it, I thought, "Holy shit, is that a suicide reference? Did he just find the classiest possible way to tell someone to go... well... you know...?" I definitely don't support that tactic at all - it's crass, insensitive, and frankly a good indicator that an overworked troll has run out of shit to say. But I have to admit that if a troll were to drop the line like that, I'd be impressed.

 

[a_haze420]

Dude there is nothing else we can tell you.

If he doesn't stop talking to her he is digging how own grave.

Starting to sound like BS to me.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

On topic...
Ok, so the friend hasn't decided for sure if the model's feelings are real, right? So, can we explore his behavior in the hypothetical context that she actually does have feelings for him?

If she did have feelings and want a relationship, what would have to happen in order for the friend to believe that it's not a scam? Does he have a benchmark for that? Is he going to be skeptical up until the moment she actually marries him? Or would he continue to wonder if he has a golddigger wife? I'm asking because it's hard to prove a negative (that she doesn't love him), but if he's too paranoid about scams to ever accept that she does love him, then all of this wondering, agonizing, and deliberation is pointless. If that's the case, he needs to just move on and find a situation that feels more genuine to him.

Secondly, if we assume that her feelings are real, then I'm not sure he's doing a great job of healthfully ending the financial relationship in order to let the real one blossom. Hanging around in her cam room all day without tipping is not a good boyfriend move. You don't hang around being useless at your significant other's place of work. Many of us have relationships, and we spend time with our SOs when we're off the clock. Many of us would feel a little weird about having our SO in the room while we're trying to work and be flirty with customers. Those SOs that do hang out in the cam room usually do it to be useful, by being good company when things are quiet and tipping to get others to tip. But on cam, we are offering a performance, so even if we're ok with our SOs being there, it's not really time spent "together" because she's not really herself on cam. You can't have quality time with a fictional character, nor should you try to have quality time with a person who is working.
In short, maybe take her at her word and stop being a customer, but then don't hang around at her workplace for no reason. It's creepy. Spend time together like a normal long distance couple that does stuff in their free time.

 

[Dan Epstein]

Financial control is never a turn on, unless done by a qualified dome
Tacos anyone?

 

[Gen]

I love this thread so much I think it might be conning me.

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

On topic...
Ok, so the friend hasn't decided for sure if the model's feelings are real, right? So, can we explore his behavior in the hypothetical context that she actually does have feelings for him?

If she did have feelings and want a relationship, what would have to happen in order for the friend to believe that it's not a scam? Does he have a benchmark for that? Is he going to be skeptical up until the moment she actually marries him? Or would he continue to wonder if he has a golddigger wife? I'm asking because it's hard to prove a negative (that she doesn't love him), but if he's too paranoid about scams to ever accept that she does love him, then all of this wondering, agonizing, and deliberation is pointless. If that's the case, he needs to just move on and find a situation that feels more genuine to him.

Secondly, if we assume that her feelings are real, then I'm not sure he's doing a great job of healthfully ending the financial relationship in order to let the real one blossom. Hanging around in her cam room all day without tipping is not a good boyfriend move. You don't hang around being useless at your significant other's place of work. Many of us have relationships, and we spend time with our SOs when we're off the clock. Many of us would feel a little weird about having our SO in the room while we're trying to work and be flirty with customers. Those SOs that do hang out in the cam room usually do it to be useful, by being good company when things are quiet and tipping to get others to tip. But on cam, we are offering a performance, so even if we're ok with our SOs being there, it's not really time spent "together" because she's not really herself on cam. You can't have quality time with a fictional character, nor should you try to have quality time with a person who is working.
In short, maybe take her at her word and stop being a customer, but then don't hang around at her workplace for no reason. It's creepy. Spend time together like a normal long distance couple that does stuff in their free time.

She asks him to keep her company whenever he can. Not to encourage tips although he has done that sometimes but usually so that she has him to talk to when she gets bored or sometimes when having to entertaining someone else she will ask him to talk to her as a diversion or she asks him to make love talk in private to her while performing. Those are the things that confuse him. Its like a pretend SO role. That's what I think it is. She probably pretends to other guys that they are her SO. That's the problem the confusing behaviour actually is part of disorienting him. She hates for him to leave but I suspect she says that to others. I just think it's an MO and who knows out of the guys who are there which one is real if any. She does so much stuff that seems special, unique and intimate for him but she could easily do it for others across Internet. The amount of time he is spending with her is crazy and probably damaging to his life. I guess there is never a way ok knowing something is real. She's even told some other users that they are a couple but probably to get of users she doesn't want. They also have shared accounts on some sites. She pushes the pretence a long way.
Being in love with a Cam model is not a smart move

By the way hanging around all day at her request but not paying tokens didn't help clarify anything. I think the only option left is blocking since no matter the strength of his feelings for her, his gut feel is that it's not real. I just wish there was a way I could help him find out.

As for the drastic bit I can't really say in case it gives either party's identity away.

 

[AudriTwo]

I'm thankful for this thread.

Well there has been a very drastic outcome

Quite concerned now

But please don't ask.

All those who mocked should take things a bit more seriously

Did you get her camname tattooed on your back?

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

I'm thankful for this thread.




Did you get her name tattooed on your back in big English text.

Why would I want her name tattooed on me. Its not common to get your friends girlfriend's name as a tattoo. If I did get a tattoo it would be my own partner but I'm not the tattooing type.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I have an Eastern European remedy, Stolichnaya, no ice, no water, no orange juice, just Stolichnaya Vodka.
Let its burning feeling put everything in perspective and take your weary eyes and heart of the computer screen and install Tinder for drunk sentimental messaging. It works 11 out of 12 times.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

Ok, but has he actually said to her "Hey, I like our relationship, but I don't want to mix business and pleasure anymore, so I won't be tipping or paying for shows in the future"?
She may have noticed that he hasn't been tipping lately, but is assuming that he is just low today and will be buying more tokens in the future. If he tells her point blank that the financial relationship is ending, but he wants to continue the romantic relationship, I think he will get a pretty swift answer. Either a) she will be cool with that, in which case it's real (or she's the worst model in history); b) she'll say that she can't be spending time with him if he isn't paying anymore, in which case this is all business; or c) she won't want to hurt his feelings, but will gradually reduce the amount of time and attention he gets until the relationship dissolves naturally, in which case it was all business, but she doesn't really know how to put her foot down.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

Tacos anyone?

I have an Eastern European remedy, Stolichnaya, no ice, no water, no orange juice, just Stolichnaya Vodka.
Let its burning feeling put everything in perspective and take your weary eyes and heart of the computer screen and install Tinder for drunk sentimental messaging. It works 11 out of 12 times.

I don't think these solutions should be undertaken at the same time. The tacos sound great, just not with vodka! The schwarma easily trumps both tacos and vodka, although I didn't know that it came in a vegetarian version (I've only had chicken schwarma, and I've never had a really good one in the US).

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

Ok, but has he actually said to her "Hey, I like our relationship, but I don't want to mix business and pleasure anymore, so I won't be tipping or paying for shows in the future"?
She may have noticed that he hasn't been tipping lately, but is assuming that he is just low today and will be buying more tokens in the future. If he tells her point blank that the financial relationship is ending, but he wants to continue the romantic relationship, I think he will get a pretty swift answer. Either a) she will be cool with that, in which case it's real (or she's the worst model in history); b) she'll say that she can't be spending time with him if he isn't paying anymore, in which case this is all business; or c) she won't want to hurt his feelings, but will gradually reduce the amount of time and attention he gets until the relationship dissolves naturally, in which case it was all business, but she doesn't really know how to put her foot down.

Well this is the thing. He has tried that line but is also happy to pay her sometimes. Sometimes he gets "free" sex with her, especially at the end of the day before she goes to sleep they "make love" as she puts it. But obviously they can't really do much free stuff on Cam. They disguise it a bit so nobody would realise. I guess it's promotional in that he helps her put in a show and other guys pay. Whenever he says he doesn't have money or tokens she says that's no problem, he doesn't have to pay. She talks about them being together soon when he will never have to pay. She wants to be with him as soon as he can get there. At the moment the cam site is the only real way they have plus he's happy to support her sometimes. They have had offline sex sessions using other apps.

To me it's all part of getting money, and to him. Or that's his fear

 

[Dan Epstein]

I don't think these solutions should be undertaken at the same time. The tacos sound great, just not with vodka! The schwarma easily trumps both tacos and vodka, although I didn't know that it came in a vegetarian version (I've only had chicken schwarma, and I've never had a really good one in the US).

Is it okay to ask where you had the Shcwarma? Falafel and Schwarma are kind of a religion here.

 

[bud9752]

fool "me" once shame on you , fool "me" twice shame on me

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

Hi all

Fairly new here but been seeing many wonderful models myself over the last 5 years and done a tiny bit of camming myself a few years ago. However mostly I'm a customer. I just have quick question which I'm sure is addressed elsewhere.

What does happen when people become infaturated with a model, spend months in private interactions, she asks you to marry her have children and to fly out and come and visit you (or to fly and see her), etc. etc. Have the model introduce you to her family. tell the whole whole world you are going to get married whenever you log on.

Just curious about what happens when you get off at the airport and go to meet her, or you go to meet her at the airport when she's flown to see you. Interested in stories or threads about what happens next.

Do you just have a nice time, realise its not real and say goodbye.... or do you get done in by a gang never be seen again

Asking for a friend

But basically we are sure it's a scam and that quite a few of the other regulars are part of the scam (eg fake users, maybe studio, friends etc) and now we are into investigation mode. And there have been interesting changes recently in pattern of paying behaviour of other regulars. Part of the drastic stuff.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

@Shy Cam Guy Here's what I think he should do. It's important not to skip any of these steps:

1. Tell her plainly that he wants to be her boyfriend, not her customer, thus he won't be spending on cam anymore. Do not obfuscate or be subtle about the conversation, and mean every word!
2. IMPORTANT: Stick to his guns and hold off on any financial assistance for preferably at least a month.
3. If she requests his presence in her cam room, or wants him providing "inspiration" while she works, fine, but don't pay for it.
4. Insist that their personal "real" sex life happen only using other, vanilla apps (this helps provide a psychological distance between him as a boyfriend vs cam customer, and also prevents her from dividing her attention and profiting off their private sex life).
5. If he wants to send her any money later on, he should do it through some vanilla, non-cam-related means (again, makes him distinct from a customer). It should be a gift, not a loan. It should NOT be in exchange for services of any kind. He should not go above and beyond what one might expect from a normal boyfriend.
6. See how it plays out.

Basically it boils down to... just be her boyfriend, nothing more, and see what happens! See if she's cool with that dynamic. He should also see if he's cool with the relationship once she's no longer in performance mode. Does he like the real person? This is going to require him to be mindful, and when they interact, ask himself whether the interaction he's having is normal in a vanilla long distance relationship. If it's not, stop, correct the dynamic, and get back to the vanilla relationship.

Is it okay to ask where you had the Shcwarma? Falafel and Schwarma are kind of a religion here.

I lived in Spain for a bit, and they have a lot of schwarma in southern Spain. They were glorious, but it explains why there was no vegetarian option, lol! Obviously a Spanish schwarma is still a bastardization of the original, so I bet it's even better in your neck of the woods!

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

@Shy Cam Guy Here's what I think he should do. It's important not to skip any of these steps:

1. Tell her plainly that he wants to be her boyfriend, not her customer, thus he won't be spending on cam anymore. Do not obfuscate or be subtle about the conversation, and mean every word!
2. IMPORTANT: Stick to his guns and hold off on any financial assistance for preferably at least a month.
3. If she requests his presence in her cam room, or wants him providing "inspiration" while she works, fine, but don't pay for it.
4. Insist that their personal "real" sex life happen only using other, vanilla apps (this helps provide a psychological distance between him as a boyfriend vs cam customer, and also prevents her from dividing her attention and profiting off their private sex life).
5. If he wants to send her any money later on, he should do it through some vanilla, non-cam-related means (again, makes him distinct from a customer). It should be a gift, not a loan. It should NOT be in exchange for services of any kind. He should not go above and beyond what one might expect from a normal boyfriend.
6. See how it plays out.

Basically it boils down to... just be her boyfriend, nothing more, and see what happens! See if she's cool with that dynamic. He should also see if he's cool with the relationship once she's no longer in performance mode. Does he like the real person? This is going to require him to be mindful, and when they interact, ask himself whether the interaction he's having is normal in a vanilla long distance relationship. If it's not, stop, correct the dynamic, and get back to the vanilla relationship.


I lived in Spain for a bit, and they have a lot of schwarma in southern Spain. They were glorious, but it explains why there was no vegetarian option, lol! Obviously a Spanish schwarma is still a bastardization of the original, so I bet it's even better in your neck of the woods!

Thanks Ginger. Maybe tomorrow's plan. They have discussed some of those. She says he isn't a customer but he needs to make it clearer. See what happens. They have the lovense app so they can use toys off cams too

 

[Dan Epstein]

I lived in Spain too, and the parts that are close to Morocco have a great Shcwarma, at least in some parts of Granada. I agree that the Spanish cooking there is far better though.

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

Thanks Ginger. Maybe tomorrow's plan

To be clear, this is a multi-day plan. Unless she tells him to fuck off after step 1, he probably won't get an answer in a single day.

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

To be clear, this is a multi-day plan. Unless she tells him to fuck off after step 1, he probably won't get an answer in a single day.

Sure, he's been struggling for months to clarify so far. She always they are partners now but he needs to be clearer. When he said he couldn't pay her anymore ( he was trying to break with her) she said that that was ok. She would just have to work harder to earn money until they got married and were together. But of course that's all part of getting money from him

 

[AmberCutie]

now we are into investigation mode.

You have sunken too deep into the Matrix. I implore you to unplug and find your way back to reality.

 

[SaffronBurke]

But basically we are sure it's a scam and that quite a few of the other regulars are part of the scam (eg fake users, maybe studio, friends etc) and now we are into investigation mode. And there have been interesting changes recently in pattern of paying behaviour of other regulars. Part of the drastic stuff.

 

[AubreyMaexo]

At this point you have already taken it far enough, why not take it all the way.

1) Just buy the plane ticket. (assuming your friend can purchase one fairly easily since he has been so willing to give money to someone he 90% thinks is scamming him.)

2) Get on said flight.

3) When she doesn't show up at the airport to greet you, you know it was money well spent, and nothing was real.

4) Go home.

5) Never attempt a relationship with a Cam model again.

Also, quit the conspiracy theories... its a lot.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Also, quit the conspiracy theories... its a lot.

I love me some plausible conspiracy theories, but..... just no. Other guys in this lady's cam room are in on it just like the Earth is flat and Obama is a lizard in a man suit.

 

[AudriTwo]

I love me some plausible conspiracy theories, but..... just no. Other guys in this lady's cam room are in on it just like the Earth is flat and Obama is a lizard in a man suit.

Obama also turned the frogs gay with chemicals.

 

[Dan Epstein]

When 500 people have more funds than 90 % percent of the world combined, you don't need a conspiracy theory in order to know that the world is an unjust place.It's just that the web cam space might not be the place to resolve that

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

Hi all

Fairly new here but been seeing many wonderful models myself over the last 5 years and done a tiny bit of camming myself a few years ago. However mostly I'm a customer. I just have quick question which I'm sure is addressed elsewhere.

What does happen when people become infaturated with a model, spend months in private interactions, she asks you to marry her have children and to fly out and come and visit you (or to fly and see her), etc. etc. Have the model introduce you to her family. tell the whole whole world you are going to get married whenever you log on.

Just curious about what happens when you get off at the airport and go to meet her, or you go to meet her at the airport when she's flown to see you. Interested in stories or threads about what happens next.

Do you just have a nice time, realise its not real and say goodbye.... or do you get done in by a gang never be seen again

Asking for a friend

He's still trying to get out of it. We are following Ginger's plan. However we are still at stage 1 at the moment

 

[Dan Epstein]

I can't help with the plan, it has no Vodka, kidding, good luck man

 

[RebelleHart]

1. I love how we have now all established that the best way to get OP to listen to you is to write your post in the form of a numbered list. It really is amazing how much of a difference it makes.

2. OP you should really start asking your nearest and dearest to interact with you this way as it clearly elevates your ability to communicate. Again, I am being genuine here.

 

[Shy Cam Guy]

1. Lack of sarcasm and
2. A bit of sympathetic understanding
also helps communication

My SO does use lists to communicate with me. I thought that was quite common in relationships. She found that if she told me stuff it was quickly forgotten