What do you tell dates you do for a job?

[Shaun__]

I saw a conversation on Twitter about this topic and I have been wondering about it since that day. Most models seem to be very secretive about what they do, due to various good reasons. Not being truthful though seems like it could ruin a potentially promising relationship, after the truth came out, while being truthful has the potential to stop anything from happening to start with.

 

[AedanRayne]

I was a Veterinary Technician and ran my own pet sitting business when I started as a cam model. During that time, I didn't tell anyone but my close friends. I came out to all of my family and friends once I decided to become a cam model full time (instead of working 3 jobs - that was 3 or 4 months into being a cam girl). I am so blessed because my family and friends are incredibly supportive! Also, my best friend, Katerina Pryde, could tell how happy I had become and ended up becoming a camgirl as well. Which is pretty fucking cool.

I don't dick around the subject anymore. In the beginning, I lost "friends" but it was better that I saw their true colors. I didn't want to surround myself with people who were closed minded, refused to hear my side of the story, began gossiping behind my back and didn't accept me anymore (even though it didn't involve them).

In short, that was an eye opener for me. Life is too short to surround myself with negative and/or judgmental people. So, I tell people what I do for a living and if they cannot learn to accept it / judge me than we're not meant to be friends anyway.

EDIT - I'm not dating... so, hope ya'll don't mind me telling my own experience (outside of the dating world).

 

[EmilyConrad]

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I feel like it's well past time to tell the guy I currently like what I do but I also am worried I've been lying for too long. Right now he thinks I do data entry online. It's not that I didn't tell him because I was afraid of his reaction.. but I'm too paranoid to tell people until I trust them and unfortunately it takes me a while to trust. I've known people who tell people right away and then those people end up going into their chatrooms using their real names, etc. That freaks me out. But now I'm over that fear with him and am more worried how he'll take that I've been lying to him for months. :?

 

[Aella]

I did freelance photography and digital manips before I started camming. It paid shit.

Now I tell them I keep doing it, except I pretend I've gotten way more business and am awesome.

Generally though, once there's enough trust established, I'll be very upfront about the camming. I am proud of it, really, as it marks a significant achievement in my personal growth, so I love shouting it to the world. =D

 

[SerenaMoon]

I did freelance photography and digital manips before I started camming. It paid shit.

Now I tell them I keep doing it, except I pretend I've gotten way more business and am awesome.

Generally though, once there's enough trust established, I'll be very upfront about the camming. I am proud of it, really, as it marks a significant achievement in my personal growth, so I love shouting it to the world. =D

But you ARE way more awesome

 

[Sevrin]

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I feel like it's well past time to tell the guy I currently like what I do but I also am worried I've been lying for too long. Right now he thinks I do data entry online. It's not that I didn't tell him because I was afraid of his reaction.. but I'm too paranoid to tell people until I trust them and unfortunately it takes me a while to trust. I've known people who tell people right away and then those people end up going into their chatrooms using their real names, etc. That freaks me out. But now I'm over that fear with him and am more worried how he'll take that I've been lying to him for months. :?

I think you know what you have to do, especially if you are thinking of taking things "to the next level", but I'm really glad I am not in your shoes. I wish you the best.

ray:

 

[Shaun__]

EDIT - I'm not dating... so, hope ya'll don't mind me telling my own experience (outside of the dating world).

I asked, because I wanted to learn. What you have to add is as valid as anyone else. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my thread.

 

[EmilyConrad]

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I feel like it's well past time to tell the guy I currently like what I do but I also am worried I've been lying for too long. Right now he thinks I do data entry online. It's not that I didn't tell him because I was afraid of his reaction.. but I'm too paranoid to tell people until I trust them and unfortunately it takes me a while to trust. I've known people who tell people right away and then those people end up going into their chatrooms using their real names, etc. That freaks me out. But now I'm over that fear with him and am more worried how he'll take that I've been lying to him for months. :?

I think you know what you have to do, especially if you are thinking of taking things "to the next level", but I'm really glad I am not in your shoes. I wish you the best.

ray:

Haha thank you! It's kind of difficult because we're long distance and only get to see each other so often. I feel like it's something you should tell in person but every time I get to see him I just want to enjoy the time. But I'm seeing him next month and am determined to finally come clean. Especially since I kind of have a feeling he already knows...

 

[VeronicaChaos]

I tell them I'm a camgirl. If a guy is overly creepy about it, or judgemental, I don't want to waste a second on them. The biggest turn-off is a man who's not comfortable with sex workers. So I never worry about someone not wanting me because of what I do. When I was a stripper, my boyfriend at the time would sometimes come watch me dance and then fuck me after my shift and we both got off on him actually being able to bring home the hot stripper all the other men in the club were lusting after. I also don't have or even really understand jealousy issues and can't stand them in my partners. A confident man that knows I'm all his regardless of my sex work is the sexiest thing in the world.

Then again, I tend to date guys who associate with strippers and sex workers and performers and artists. So they "get it."

 

[TacoBelle]

Honestly, I start by telling them that I own my own business online (not a lie, just an omission of what that job entails). Then after we start to get to know each other and he doesn't seem creepy, then I approach the subject by asking his feelings on porn. If he's open-minded about it, and honest that he watches it, etc. then I just go ahead and tell him. If he seems holier-than-thou regarding just WATCHING it, I know he's not the one and don't waste my time.

 

[JoeShmoe]

I know this is ask-a-model, but I thought an actual guy's perspective might be useful. For me, the biggest relationship-ender, whether it's early or late in the relationship, is being lied to. I can understand the hesitation to tell the truth, but it's something you've got to be honest about eventually. If it's been going on for a while, I would suggest apologizing profusely for having lied about such a big thing, and explain that it was only because you liked him so much that you didn't want to drive him away. I would still expect a negative reaction, but if you handle it well, it may not kill the relationship.

That said, all guys are different, and relationships are different. Having been on cam sites (while single) and knowing what happens there, I would consider much of it to be cheating. It is not closed-minded, judgmental or wrong to have a problem with a woman you (potentially) love masturbating cam-to-cam with some other guy, or even just taking her clothes off for him. So you may be faced with a situation where you have to choose between your relationship and camming.

From what I gather, a lot of cam girls do not date for that reason. They accept it as a trade-off they've made for money. It may also be why some have dated guys they met "on the job". That way the guy knows what he's getting into beforehand, and there is no room for judgment because he's been on the other side of the equation.

 

[AllisonWilder]

That said, all guys are different, and relationships are different. Having been on cam sites (while single) and knowing what happens there, I would consider much of it to be cheating. It is not closed-minded, judgmental or wrong to have a problem with a woman you (potentially) love masturbating cam-to-cam with some other guy, or even just taking her clothes off for him. So you may be faced with a situation where you have to choose between your relationship and camming.

It's kind of silly to consider a cam girl doing her job to be cheating, especially if you've frequented camsites yourself and have the capacity to understand that this is our job.

From what I gather, a lot of cam girls do not date for that reason. They accept it as a trade-off they've made for money. It may also be why some have dated guys they met "on the job". That way the guy knows what he's getting into beforehand, and there is no room for judgment because he's been on the other side of the equation.

I'm not sure where you get your information, but a lot of cam girls DO date, some are engaged, married, in long term relationships, etc. We can have both relationships and still make money.

 

[Shaun__]

I know this is ask-a-model, but I thought an actual guy's perspective might be useful. For me, the biggest relationship-ender, whether it's early or late in the relationship, is being lied to. I can understand the hesitation to tell the truth, but it's something you've got to be honest about eventually. If it's been going on for a while, I would suggest apologizing profusely for having lied about such a big thing, and explain that it was only because you liked him so much that you didn't want to drive him away. I would still expect a negative reaction, but if you handle it well, it may not kill the relationship.

That said, all guys are different, and relationships are different. Having been on cam sites (while single) and knowing what happens there, I would consider much of it to be cheating. It is not closed-minded, judgmental or wrong to have a problem with a woman you (potentially) love masturbating cam-to-cam with some other guy, or even just taking her clothes off for him. So you may be faced with a situation where you have to choose between your relationship and camming.

From what I gather, a lot of cam girls do not date for that reason. They accept it as a trade-off they've made for money. It may also be why some have dated guys they met "on the job". That way the guy knows what he's getting into beforehand, and there is no room for judgment because he's been on the other side of the equation.

Not all men are so insecure in themselves that a small thing like this would bother them. It is just a job that you happen to do naked. I personally was born naked and never understood why it is considered such a big deal.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

It is not closed-minded, judgmental or wrong to have a problem with a woman you (potentially) love masturbating cam-to-cam with some other guy, or even just taking her clothes off for him.

True and it wouldn't be closed-minded or wrong if a woman didn't want the man she loved masturbating cam to cam to some other woman.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I know this is ask-a-model, but I thought an actual guy's perspective might be useful. For me, the biggest relationship-ender, whether it's early or late in the relationship, is being lied to. I can understand the hesitation to tell the truth, but it's something you've got to be honest about eventually. If it's been going on for a while, I would suggest apologizing profusely for having lied about such a big thing, and explain that it was only because you liked him so much that you didn't want to drive him away. I would still expect a negative reaction, but if you handle it well, it may not kill the relationship.

That said, all guys are different, and relationships are different. Having been on cam sites (while single) and knowing what happens there, I would consider much of it to be cheating. It is not closed-minded, judgmental or wrong to have a problem with a woman you (potentially) love masturbating cam-to-cam with some other guy, or even just taking her clothes off for him. So you may be faced with a situation where you have to choose between your relationship and camming.

From what I gather, a lot of cam girls do not date for that reason. They accept it as a trade-off they've made for money. It may also be why some have dated guys they met "on the job". That way the guy knows what he's getting into beforehand, and there is no room for judgment because he's been on the other side of the equation.

I'd agree that being lied to/being misled is never good and that it's best just to be upfront about what you do from the offset. But I don't think I'll ever understand the "camming is cheating" thing. If a guy thinks that his girlfriend is being unfaithful to him when she gets naked and fucks herself for people on the internet, then it stands to reason that he too is being unfaithful whenever he whips his cock out and wanks off to someone that isn't his girlfriend. It's a massive double standard and reeks of insecurity.

 

[NoelleBright]

I know this is ask-a-model, but I thought an actual guy's perspective might be useful. For me, the biggest relationship-ender, whether it's early or late in the relationship, is being lied to. I can understand the hesitation to tell the truth, but it's something you've got to be honest about eventually. If it's been going on for a while, I would suggest apologizing profusely for having lied about such a big thing, and explain that it was only because you liked him so much that you didn't want to drive him away. I would still expect a negative reaction, but if you handle it well, it may not kill the relationship.

I'm just gonna throw this out there, but most girls who aren't up front immediately about it aren't doing it for the sake of lying, they're doing it for their own safety.
When you first start going on dates with someone, unless it's someone you have been friends with for a while, you are basically in the company of a stranger. We go to GREAT lengths to protect our safety and identities from strangers on the internet, it would only make sense to have those same precautions in person as well.

 

[VeronicaChaos]

I know this is ask-a-model, but I thought an actual guy's perspective might be useful. For me, the biggest relationship-ender, whether it's early or late in the relationship, is being lied to. I can understand the hesitation to tell the truth, but it's something you've got to be honest about eventually. If it's been going on for a while, I would suggest apologizing profusely for having lied about such a big thing, and explain that it was only because you liked him so much that you didn't want to drive him away. I would still expect a negative reaction, but if you handle it well, it may not kill the relationship.

I'm just gonna throw this out there, but most girls who aren't up front immediately about it aren't doing it for the sake of lying, they're doing it for their own safety.
When you first start going on dates with someone, unless it's someone you have been friends with for a while, you are basically in the company of a stranger. We go to GREAT lengths to protect our safety and identities from strangers on the internet, it would only make sense to have those same precautions in person as well.

Agreed. Just because I am upfront right away does not mean that it's the best way, or even a good way. It's just my way, and I totally understand/support women who decide to be more cautious than myself. I would never ever tell someone my cam name unless I knew them super well. Everyone might know I'm an internet whore, but only my very very very close friends know that I'm Veronica Chaos.

I also don't believe at all that camming is cheating, but I think cheating is defined by those in the relationship. Some people do consider watching porn to be cheating, and as long as both parties are on the same page as to what constitutes cheating, I can't say that my definition is better. But if you think watching porn and/or camming is cheating, you shouldn't date a camgirl. It's just that simple.

Not everyone thinks that way, and there's tons of camgirls in relationships with men who agree on what it means to "cheat".

 

[EmilyConrad]

I agree. I know whenever I haven't been upfront with a guy it's because I worry about my safety. I'd hate to tell someone I haven't gotten to know well enough yet and then for him to find me (wouldn't be too hard because I don't use geo-restrictions) and use my real name in my room. I would hope I choose to like guys who aren't like that but you never know.

This thread did encourage me to tell the guy I currently like what I do! He was very cool about it and said he doesn't care. He asked me questions about it and seemed interested. I was more worried at this point that he'd be a little put off by my lying for so long but it didn't seem to bother him. Of course this was all over text since I didn't want to wait to do it in person next month, so it's not like I could read his emotions. I feel really relieved that it's all out in the open. :thumbleft:

 

[PunkInDrublic]

most girls who aren't up front immediately about it aren't doing it for the sake of lying, they're doing it for their own safety.

I know whenever I haven't been upfront with a guy it's because I worry about my safety.

I don't understand this mind set. Is it just fear of being "outed" as a camgirl? How could you even have fun on a date if you had to lie to feel safe? Is it camgirl paranoia spilling into real life? Are some embarrassed or ashamed of sex work? Is it just fear that others won't be accepting? Seems unhealthy for work life to be affecting real life so drastically.

Random but what a waste cheating online would be if you're one of the guys that considers anything done online cheating. Hook up with a old friend? Go out to a bar? Get a escort? Naw wackin off on the internet.

 

[mynameisbob84]

most girls who aren't up front immediately about it aren't doing it for the sake of lying, they're doing it for their own safety.

I know whenever I haven't been upfront with a guy it's because I worry about my safety.

I don't understand this mind set. Is it just fear of being "outed" as a camgirl? How could you even have fun on a date if you had to lie to feel safe? Is it camgirl paranoia spilling into real life? Are some embarrassed or ashamed of sex work? Is it just fear that others won't be accepting? Seems unhealthy for work life to be affecting real life so drastically.

Random but what a waste cheating online would be if you're one of the guys that considers anything done online cheating. Hook up with a old friend? Go out to a bar? Get a escort? Naw wackin off on the internet.

I kinda wondered this too. I get that a model might not wanna reveal too much about themselves to members out of fear of their safety. What if they track you down in real life? What if they find out where you live? etc.
But if you're out on a date with someone, they've already met you. They already know what city you live in and where to find you. They probably already have your phone number, etc.

It may well be me being completely naive but I don't see where the safety risk comes into play when a date finds out that you're a cam girl. Assuming they find you online and watch your cam, they're not going to discover anything about you that could put you at risk that they don't already know (where you live, etc.).

Also, I'd have thought it would benefit both parties for this kind of thing to come out straight away. While I still see no reason for it to be an issue, I guess some doods really are insecure and some might not be able to deal with their prospective girlfriend being a cam girl. Would it not be better for all concerned if that guy finds out straight away so that you can part ways before anyone gets attached and feelings get hurt when the camming transpires to be a problem? :twocents-02cents:

 

[Jessi]

most girls who aren't up front immediately about it aren't doing it for the sake of lying, they're doing it for their own safety.

I know whenever I haven't been upfront with a guy it's because I worry about my safety.

I don't understand this mind set. Is it just fear of being "outed" as a camgirl? How could you even have fun on a date if you had to lie to feel safe? Is it camgirl paranoia spilling into real life? Are some embarrassed or ashamed of sex work? Is it just fear that others won't be accepting? Seems unhealthy for work life to be affecting real life so drastically.

Random but what a waste cheating online would be if you're one of the guys that considers anything done online cheating. Hook up with a old friend? Go out to a bar? Get a escort? Naw wackin off on the internet.

I kinda wondered this too. I get that a model might not wanna reveal too much about themselves to members out of fear of their safety. What if they track you down in real life? What if they find out where you live? etc.
But if you're out on a date with someone, they've already met you. They already know what city you live in and where to find you. They probably already have your phone number, etc.

It may well be me being completely naive but I don't see where the safety risk comes into play when a date finds out that you're a cam girl. Assuming they find you online and watch your cam, they're not going to discover anything about you that could put you at risk that they don't already know (where you live, etc.).

Also, I'd have thought it would benefit both parties for this kind of thing to come out straight away. While I still see no reason for it to be an issue, I guess some doods really are insecure and some might not be able to deal with their prospective girlfriend being a cam girl. Would it not be better for all concerned if that guy finds out straight away so that you can part ways before anyone gets attached and feelings get hurt when the camming transpires to be a problem? :twocents-02cents:

I once started talking to a guy who seemed pretty normal until I told him I was a camgirl. Then he started sending me gross texts, continuing even after I told him I wasn't comfortable. Then he flew off the handle (and his reasoning was since I was a camwhore I shouldn't find this inappropriate) and someone else had to tell him to leave me alone. Obviously he wasn't totally right in the head.

I guess it would have been nice to get a feel for the guy BEFORE he went all creepo. Usually you can pick up on weirdo-ness before it turns ugly. If I would have been able to get a feel for how he sees women, porn etc and then decide hes not worth hanging around with first I would have preferred it.

Not all guys are creeps. Not all guys treat a girl differently based on her job. But if I want to I should be able to attempt to gauge that before it turns into a scary situation.

 

[wjr3]

I know whenever I haven't been upfront with a guy it's because I worry about my safety. I'd hate to tell someone I haven't gotten to know well enough yet and then for him to find me (wouldn't be too hard because I don't use geo-restrictions) and use my real name in my room.

This is the potential safety issue. It's not so much the guy himself. It's what he can spout out to the rest of the world that could put a model at risk.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

It would depend on how I felt my relationship progressing with the guy and what sort of person he was. I told my current boyfriend the first time I met him/properly hung out with him. He had no issue with it, and because I gave him the choice to make that decision before he ever fell for me it means he can't ever feel cheated. It was his decision to be cool with it.

Some guys I've dated I just couldn't be bothered to get into it, as soon as I'd tell them they'd see me differently, not in a bad way exactly, but it'd bring sex to the brain. Kind of like waving a red flag in front of a bull. What's really annoying is if someone told me they were a waitress I wouldn't suddenly start expecting them to bring me all my drinks and wait on me with absolutely no payment on their time off, yet people seem to think it's acceptable to ask me to do shows etc for free in my spare time because it's my job so clearly I must not care...
A lot of guys would figure it out... I never really know how they all hit the nail on the head so easily...

If I didn't tell someone I'd say I do market research, if they found out or I told them later I'd say I do both. Most of the time if I would lie it'd be more that I didn't want them spreading it to everyone they meet. I'd wait until I trusted them/felt it might go somewhere enough that telling them might be important. I hate lying, I enjoy talking about my job, I hate talking about my fake job, but essentially safety is one of the most important things. Unfortunately for me when I started camming I told 1 person who I thought was a good friend. She told another good friend, and between them mentioning it to the wrong people the entire town knew within 6 months. Things spread fast when you open up to the wrong person.

I do think that telling someone who you want to have a proper relationship with as quickly as possible is important. Some people don't want to go out with someone who does/has done something regardless of what it is. I personally have a thing that I don't want to date guys who have slept with prostitutes. Many would think that's crazy, it's probably totally unreasonable to many, and it does limit the guys I can be with, but it is my pet peeve, I don't like it, I don't care if my friends have done it, I just don't want to date someone who does. And if I ever did I'd like to know sooner rather than later so I can make the decision of how I feel about it, the situation and the person involved. Either that or I'd like to never know or find out (which would be unfortunate for the guy and make him feel guilty as I rant about stuff I don't like... a lot!). Some people won't date someone who smokes, drinks, has ever taken drugs, has had homosexual relations, all sorts of random things. Most people have a "thing", some line they won't cross, something they don't like if a person does. And many guys do not want to date a girl who does what I do for a living. That is their choice. Me lying about it would be taking away their choice. Them finding out after they've already fallen for me, already started building their future plans including me would be cruel. The only choice they have then is causing a horrible break up that they don't want, or having to continue in a relationship not sure what choice they would have made or whether they're comfortable with reality or the deception.
A large percentage of guys in the world judge camgirls and don't want to date them seriously. A relationship with those guys would never work anyway, so might as well be honest from the start. People rarely change their fundamental values, and if they do lies and deceit aren't the way to win them over.

 

[LilyPink]

Telesales for minimum wage.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

That said, all guys are different, and relationships are different. Having been on cam sites (while single) and knowing what happens there, I would consider much of it to be cheating. It is not closed-minded, judgmental or wrong to have a problem with a woman you (potentially) love masturbating cam-to-cam with some other guy, or even just taking her clothes off for him. So you may be faced with a situation where you have to choose between your relationship and camming. From what I gather, a lot of cam girls do not date for that reason. They accept it as a trade-off they've made for money. It may also be why some have dated guys they met "on the job". That way the guy knows what he's getting into beforehand, and there is no room for judgment because he's been on the other side of the equation.

I wouldn't consider camming cheating in any way. It's understandable if a guy chooses not to go out with a girl who cams, it's his choice, but camming isn't cheating unless the camgirl were lying to her partner.

What is cheating? You can cheat at cards, you can cheat at games and you can cheat at relationships. It means breaking the rules.
There are basic rules that most couples follow, like monogamy. But there are also rules that couples create for themselves. If someone in a relationship expressly said they felt porn is cheating and they couldn't be with someone who watches it, then if the other partner agrees to these terms and then goes and watches porn, they have cheated. In a regular relationship these terms will not be relevant, so they haven't cheated. If a girl cams for her work and her boyfriend knows and accepts it, then no, she is not cheating on him. If he told her he couldn't date someone who does that and she agreed not to but then still did, then yes that's cheating. It is irrational of you to act like your specific set of rules would apply to everyone. Most people don't care about your values of what's cheating or not in their own relationships.

I don't see camgirls as cheating on a relationship simply because they are doing it for money, not sexual gratification or the urge to be there masturbating for men in their free time. If anything would be borderline cheating it is members on campsites as they are there in their spare time, time they could be with their partner, interacting with women, tipping them etc. Often members do form feelings for camgirls in ways that camgirls don't tend to get attached to members. If you're in a relationship and have that attachment to a girl online and wank over her etc... well, it's cheating of the mind. Wanking over porn is different because it doesn't involve interaction. I guess it depends on the camgirl, but I know that quite a few camgirls who are in relationships will have boundaries like no cam to cam when they're in a couple.

What you said about some camgirls choosing not to be in a relationship because of camming?! Erm, what a load of bullshit. I've never spoken to a camgirl who's said anything of the sort. Maybe to members to hide the fact that she actually has a boyfriend? But all the camgirls I know most definitely are totally open to boyfriends/husbands, and majority of the girls I know have them! Maybe what you're thinking of is prostitution, which I do believe some girls do choose to not be in relationships because of it, but even so, there are plenty of girls who do have very happy relationships in that line of work! You might not be able to deal with that, but guess what? You don't have to. It's up to the people involved in the relationship and no one else.
Unfortunately with camming, well, men stare at me all the time in real life. I regularly get told by guys on facebook etc that they wank over my pictures etc. What can I do to stop it? Shave my head and resort to wearing baggy clothes. Essentially if someone wants to go out with me they have to accept that men will look at me, whether I cam or not.

 

[Anonymous]

I don't see where the safety risk comes into play when a date finds out that you're a cam girl.

Because this is a person who knows your real name. Sometimes when you tell people you're a cam girl, one of the first things they ask is "What's the name of the site?" They visit the site, and when they find you live on cam they excitedly blurt out "Hey, *model's real name*!" Something kinda like this has happened to me twice on MFC. They've blurted out real life info that I didn't need my public chat to hear, and I had to immediately send them a "Shhh, don't blurt out stuff like that in public chat" PM. Not cool.

And God forbid a cam girl has a nasty breakup with a spiteful guy who knows her cam sites/cam names. He could cause problems for her if he continues posting in her public chat.

 

[MemberEd]

That said, all guys are different, and relationships are different. Having been on cam sites (while single) and knowing what happens there, I would consider much of it to be cheating. It is not closed-minded, judgmental or wrong to have a problem with a woman you (potentially) love masturbating cam-to-cam with some other guy, or even just taking her clothes off for him. So you may be faced with a situation where you have to choose between your relationship and camming.

This is just confusing what happens on cams with real relationships with real people. It really is not any more a way of cheating then a woman masturbating by herself, with you not around or you cheating on her by masturbating, while shes not around. :twocents-02cents:

 

[JoeShmoe]

I was just giving my two cents. Honesty, trust and communication are essential to any relationship. If you can have a mature, adult conversation where both parties are free to express how they feel, you can either work things out or agree to part ways amicably. A relationship that begins as a lie is going to have a hard time surviving. I'm not saying you have to dump it out immediately, but I think you should tell them as early as possible, and then apologize for not telling them sooner.

As for "cheating", different people have different standards, just as different cam girls have different standards about what they do on cam. There are a few cam girls I've met that I would consider dating under normal circumstances, and who have opened the door for me to pursue it, but I haven't because of the potential complications. One was a former porn star. I had to be honest with myself that I couldn't handle that. I'm sure there are other guys who could. Others would have had to change what they were doing so much that I just didn't want to get into it. I probably would not have a problem dating a non nude cam girl. Even just as a (single) customer, I do not go anywhere near cam girls who are married, because to me it's wrong. Every woman I've ever dated would have considered me getting 1-on-1 one private shows from cam girls to be cheating. It's not "insecurity", it's about where you draw the line.

 

[JoeShmoe]

That said, all guys are different, and relationships are different. Having been on cam sites (while single) and knowing what happens there, I would consider much of it to be cheating. It is not closed-minded, judgmental or wrong to have a problem with a woman you (potentially) love masturbating cam-to-cam with some other guy, or even just taking her clothes off for him. So you may be faced with a situation where you have to choose between your relationship and camming.

This is just confusing what happens on cams with real relationships with real people. It really is not any more a way of cheating then a woman masturbating by herself, with you not around or you cheating on her by masturbating, while shes not around. :twocents-02cents:

We're all real people, even if we're on the internet. Maybe you don't see a difference between masturbating by yourself and doing it cam-to-cam with another person, but I would suggest to you that you're in the minority on that.

 

[JoeShmoe]

It is irrational of you to act like your specific set of rules would apply to everyone.

I didn't say that. I was just giving my personal view. I think the average person's view is probably pretty close to mine, but there are all kinds of different standards that people have.