Lots of comments are misplaced assumptions, one post above me " Nah I think this person knew very well what they were doing " and based on what this person thinks it builds a whole new story. How can you even have a discussion when one side is told, and placed in such a way that you look like a victim. If you can stand the heat get out of the kitchen. This is an industry, no volunteer jobs here.
You are so professional in your statements. Let me put it down in words you understand better. Dont piss in the pool you swim.
This really isn't a discussion where both "sides" need to be told, when the comments/actions speak so clearly for themselves. One person thinks it is perfectly acceptable to approach a stranger and tell them the brutal details of a VIOLENT RAPE they want to do to said person. Out of nowhere. Because, y'know... That's how you speak to people, especially strangers? The other person is simply saying, "Hey. Can you please stop trying to do that? It isn't okay." I guess I really don't understand where your derision seems to be coming front. A stranger being told the graphic details of a brutal, violent rape.... Yeah, that does make her the victim of harassment. But the way you are painting it makes it sound like you think she's wrong?
There isn't really two sides here, and there really isn't any need to try to see the side of the Rape Fantasizer, or try to emphasize with what he was doing or his motivations. Most of us have dealt with enough people like this, time and time again. We're not assuming - we're using our pretty vast experience on the topic to make a judgement about their intentions. We don't need to see their side. Springing such comments on a stranger without their consent... Yeah, we see quite clearly how most of them love the reaction of pain, anger, hurt, fury they get to see. Which is hardly surprising, since so many rapists get off on the non-consensual violence/power of the event... Springing the fantasies on the unsuspecting, knowing the reaction it will cause and enjoying it... They get to live out their rape-victory-power feelings over an unsuspecting model. Why do I need to see things from their point of view? At best, they're jerkfaces who think emotionally abusing a stranger is okay, and at worst, they are a straight up psychopath.
A lot of us have some messed up kinks and fetishes - and as a professional kinkster, my job is to help people explore those desires in a safe, healthy, and consensual manner. But you don't go up to a stranger and tell them you want to violate & brutalize them. It's common sense. It's unacceptable. It doesn't matter what job you're in. No person should have to experience that, let alone over and over and over again. And we're allowed to tell people that it's inappropriate to do WITHOUT CONSENT. That doesn't make any of us weak or unfit for this job.
Actually, I'd say that it makes all of us MORE fit to do this job. This can be a beautiful, amazing industry. But it can also chew you up and spit them out if you're too naive, if you don't know how to stand up for yourself, if you continuously let people walk over your boundaries, if you put your own emotional needs in last place. Do you know how people thrive in this industry, building up a long-term career, instead of burning out after a short career and fading away from the industry as a whole? They learn to protect themselves. They learn to stand up for themselves. They learn how they deserve to be treated and refuse to accept anything less than that. They learn how to say No and they learn when they need to say it. And those are vital, powerful skills for any model to learn. And that's what is happening here. Models are saying they don't want to put up with behavior that emotionally hurts them. That means they belong in THIS kitchen. That means they have boundaries, it means they know how they should be treated - like a human. Not like someone who thinks they deserve to be a punching bag for every stranger's fucked up fantasy, especially when it comes at the expense of their own emotional well-being.
"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen," is one way to phrase it, but I don't think it fits this situation. A more accurate version may be, "Hey. If you're going to work in a hot kitchen, make sure you know how to protect your vulnerable skin so you can do your job safely because kitchens can be dangerous places, man. If all you do is stand in front of the heat, trying to grab hot objects with bare skin, thinking you deserve to be scalded every day, and never try to don protective gear, then maaaaaaybe the kitchen isn't the best place for you."
It is strange to see someone in the industry defend rape-violence fueled comments, acting as if it is absolutely outrageous for models to expect respect and decency. The fact that you think models should have to accept such treatment and shut up about it... It shows a lot about what you actually think of adult models. And it doesn't seem to be much.... You could call this comment an assumption. I'd say it's an inference based on your words, your tone, and the attitude you are directing towards models who are simply asking to be treated with human decency. Someone says, "I wish people would stop telling me the violent & brutal ways they wish to rape me, without asking if I'm okay with it first," and your reaction is one of derision and scorn and contempt... It really does speak volumes, and not, I'm afraid, in a flattering way.
THANK YOU!
