Things Members Say That Make You Go "WTF?"

[EmptyKins]

I got hit with a long one and I'm gonna share it in all it's gory detail because I'm mad.

Spoiler: Fucking custom run-around part one

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Can't upload more than 15 pics so the rest will be in the next post sorry for the DP I just have to get this off my chest

Spoiler: Fucking custom run-around part two

Seen!??? Fucking seen!? After I lowered my price, walked you through the process, catered to your request, gave you every indication that I would follow through and even said I would deliver on the SAME DAY!! I can never unsee this dick and I didn't even get tipped for it. Fuck me for being too nice and now I will never be this nice again.

 

[NotYou]

And neither can I ever unsee that photo lol.
Maybe add a tiny warning above that second spoiler to let people know there a photo there.

But yeah very fucked up

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Spoiler: Fucking custom run-around part two

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Seen!??? Fucking seen!? After I lowered my price, walked you through the process, catered to your request, gave you every indication that I would follow through and even said I would deliver on the SAME DAY!! I can never unsee this dick and I didn't even get tipped for it. Fuck me for being too nice and now I will never be this nice again.

Well that is completely messed up on several levels. Haha.

 

[Majora Mink]

Spoiler: Fucking custom run-around part two

View attachment 76587 View attachment 76588 View attachment 76589


Seen!??? Fucking seen!? After I lowered my price, walked you through the process, catered to your request, gave you every indication that I would follow through and even said I would deliver on the SAME DAY!! I can never unsee this dick and I didn't even get tipped for it. Fuck me for being too nice and now I will never be this nice again.

Spoiler: Fucking custom run-around part two

View attachment 76587 View attachment 76588 View attachment 76589


Seen!??? Fucking seen!? After I lowered my price, walked you through the process, catered to your request, gave you every indication that I would follow through and even said I would deliver on the SAME DAY!! I can never unsee this dick and I didn't even get tipped for it. Fuck me for being too nice and now I will never be this nice again.

Man, but that set-up... Why not use their powers for good... like being a smut novelist... instead of to hustle working people to see a dick pic. I wish I had just a fraction of your customer service skillz, though.

 

[VermilionThorn]

 

[Rumi_Bloom]

OK, so I couldn't decide whether to put this screenshot in things that make you go wtf, or things that make you lol, but here it is in all it's glory. Was wondering when I may get one of these pffff. I busted out laughing my ASS off though and I needed that today since last 4 days been off cam and everything fighting an infection...



So... should I tell them in a reply that I would love to introduce them to paganism as well, and that my matron, Lilith, would be all too happy to share her good word, along with Hecate and Venus. Decisions, Decisions...

 

[Emberblaze]

OK, so I couldn't decide whether to put this screenshot in things that make you go wtf, or things that make you lol, but here it is in all it's glory. Was wondering when I may get one of these pffff. I busted out laughing my ASS off though and I needed that today since last 4 days been off cam and everything fighting an infection...

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So... should I tell them in a reply that I would love to introduce them to paganism as well, and that my matron, Lilith, would be all too happy to share her good word, along with Hecate and Venus. Decisions, Decisions...

I really want to buy the Jesus dildo Audri has just for these type of situations.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Dude just popped into my room and said this. *pukes everywhere*

 

[NotYou]

In a room that I go to, some grey guy was trying to impress the lady/model:

tonyyy16: are you angel or is it dreamm ))))
tonyyy16: im tony ceaser 26 years old and machine engineer in russia but im romanian ) you can look my photo in my bio if you love muscle )

** Looks at Tony's profile **

Photo's look too fake > Reverse Image Search....

Me: Tony, those images in your profile are fake
Me: The photo is someone called Landon
Me: And the photoshoot was by a photographer called Rick Day

** Tony leaves the room **

Me: So Tony, don't upload images of models pretending to be them
Me:
Me: You will get found out haha
Me: Idiot



Attached a screenshot of his profile to show how you can immediately tell that he is fake lol.

 

[Sierra Sage]

I think I'll pass.....

 

[yummybrownfox]

I think I'll pass.....

Lmao. I guess that dude said well since I’ve seen everything from pussy pops to bed posts being shoved up the pussy, hell a vacuum cleaner hose seems pretty normal, right?

 

[Deleted member 43650]

So I've got a new private show client on Chaturbate. He is freakin' amazing.

It's this "lady" who roleplays that her husband is away from work. She wants me to impregnate her and be super "dirty" about it. "She" loves to request I show my armpits, flex, grunt and do all things my 99.9% gay audience loves. As things get more intense and she is "impregnated", she starts calling me "Dirty Bubba". DIRTY BUBBA. I can't even.

It's incredible. I don't know how I don't lose it by laughing. I do like this client - he's polite and will pay well for a long show. What's to complain about? But it just makes me kinda go "WTF?"

It's like some bizarre meta-voyeur fantasy. Like this guy wants to live out his gay fantasies by pretending to be a woman that is into gay stuff. I dunno how to explain it but it's not your run-of-the-mill 'guy pretending to be a girl' thing.

 

[Deleted member 43650]

Another great private show client of mine (this one made my wife laugh so hard she cried): The Magic Potion Man

Look out, muscle-heads! The Magic Potion Man is in town! Time to pop open a bottle of his "special potion" that makes you grow HUGE...so long as you say the magic word: "BIGGER!"

This guy privates me maybe once per week. He'll PM me to tell me about this awesome new formula of his magic potion. Literally all he wants me to do is flex and keep saying "BIGGER!" while he "gives" me more of the potion, describing how I start to feel "warm and tingly"...then, my height grows to a whopping 600 feet tall and my weight a massive 500 tons.

It's like an Attack on Titan gay fantasy.

God I love this guy.

 

[SaffronBurke]

I have NO idea what this guy is trying to ask me to do.



He also asked if I was wearing two bras - nah, dude, I ain't doing Jenna Marbles tiddies.

 

[Emberblaze]

I have NO idea what this guy is trying to ask me to do.

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He also asked if I was wearing two bras - nah, dude, I ain't doing Jenna Marbles tiddies.

Maybe he wants you to spread your cleavage? I'm so confused lol.

 

[Johndoe91]

first(only) thing he said when entering the room:

leking273: canada slave of usa
hummmmmm

 

[Johndoe91]

EDIT: spoke too soon

leking273: on a Orgasm
leking273: yeahhhhhhhhhh
leking273: USA dominate canada hummmmmm i masturbate
leking273: yeahhh
leking273: I dream that USA dominate CANADA
leking273: hummmmmmmmm
leking273: you dream also that ?
leking273: USA rinse dry taxe CANADA i stroke that
leking273: usa taxe the canada i stroke hummmm
leking273: yeahhhhhhh
leking273: yessssssss
leking273: i masturbate
leking273: you like that also ?
leking273: yeahhhhhh
leking273: i love it hummmmm
leking273: you want more of taxe for the canada ?
leking273: yeah i dream
leking273: and stroke
leking273: yeahhhhhhh
leking273: i have cum lol
leking273: llloool i have cum .........
leking273: i have end lol
leking273: yesssss
leking273: lolll
leking273: only powerfull cum wow
leking273: i feel better
leking273: it's exciting only on website porn lol

i assume she was responding privately, but i have no idea what the other half of that conversation could possibly look like

 

[Emberblaze]

EDIT: spoke too soon

leking273: on a Orgasm
leking273: yeahhhhhhhhhh
leking273: USA dominate canada hummmmmm i masturbate
leking273: yeahhh
leking273: I dream that USA dominate CANADA
leking273: hummmmmmmmm
leking273: you dream also that ?
leking273: USA rinse dry taxe CANADA i stroke that
leking273: usa taxe the canada i stroke hummmm
leking273: yeahhhhhhh
leking273: yessssssss
leking273: i masturbate
leking273: you like that also ?
leking273: yeahhhhhh
leking273: i love it hummmmm
leking273: you want more of taxe for the canada ?
leking273: yeah i dream
leking273: and stroke
leking273: yeahhhhhhh
leking273: i have cum lol
leking273: llloool i have cum .........
leking273: i have end lol
leking273: yesssss
leking273: lolll
leking273: only powerfull cum wow
leking273: i feel better
leking273: it's exciting only on website porn lol

i assume she was responding privately, but i have no idea what the other half of that conversation could possibly look like

It's funnier to imagine she wasn't replying at all.

 

[NotYou]

I genuinely always think I can't be surprised/shocked or amazed at things these people come out with, then someone, SOMEHOW manages to do or say something.
I think I am very glad and happy my mind doesn't seem to work the same as the majority of these guys on cam sites - or at least the guys on Chaturbate.

I used to want to be more like other guys because I thought that I was the weird, stupid one.... but CB has opened my eyes a lot lol.

 

[bootyfairy]

One of my old members messaged me one night and said “don’t forget your period starts tomorrow so you might not want to plan any videos”. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. He was right too! I started the next day. I asked him how he knew and he said he had been keeping up when I tell my Snapchat I start and can’t post shows and then when I start again. He had it logged into his Fitbit. This pissed me off so bad ‘cause that’s just creepy, but the fact that he told me not to plan videos. That Micromanaging weirdo is since looooong gone!

 

[Mia Moon]

One of my old members messaged me one night and said “don’t forget your period starts tomorrow so you might not want to plan any videos”. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. He was right too! I started the next day. I asked him how he knew and he said he had been keeping up when I tell my Snapchat I start and can’t post shows and then when I start again. He had it logged into his Fitbit. This pissed me off so bad ‘cause that’s just creepy, but the fact that he told me not to plan videos. That Micromanaging weirdo is since looooong gone!

ugh, that's so creepy, controlling members are the worst

 

[bootyfairy]

ugh, that's so creepy, controlling members are the worst

Agreeeed!

 

[SaffronBurke]

PET PEEVE:



Sex isn't nasty. Sexual activities aren't nasty. They're natural, healthy, and beautiful. Stooooop calling it nasty ffs.

 

[Redvelvetkatt]

One of my old members messaged me one night and said “don’t forget your period starts tomorrow so you might not want to plan any videos”. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. He was right too! I started the next day. I asked him how he knew and he said he had been keeping up when I tell my Snapchat I start and can’t post shows and then when I start again. He had it logged into his Fitbit. This pissed me off so bad ‘cause that’s just creepy, but the fact that he told me not to plan videos. That Micromanaging weirdo is since looooong gone!

Ive had visitors on and off to my room who made reference to that because of the way my "juices" looked. um. I was using lube?

 

[SaffronBurke]

Dude became nonsensically upset when I told him that I'm a domme, not an explicit model. Bro. Bro. Calm down. Just click "next model". It's not that critical. You don't have to throw your toys out of the pram because I don't do the shows you want. There are 1500 other women online, at least one of them will do the show you want. Also, there's this magical thing called "reading a model's profile and room topic" that can clue you in pretty quick to what she does and doesn't offer, it saves you so much time.

I did end up starting to mock him by fake-whining "the mean lady won't touch my pee-pee waaaaaahhhhh" because dude you brought this on yourself.

 

[SaffronBurke]

This question




Especially when MY ASS IS MY DISPLAY PIC. You literally click ON MY ASS to get to my room.




YOU ALREADY KNOW IT'S BIG, DUMBASS. If you're trying to see it right now...... Fucking tip, bro.

 

[SaffronBurke]

A couple years ago, there was a thread on dirty talk yea/nay, and one of the comments I made was that requests for it are usually too vague. Give me a subject and I can dirty talk for days - you like my butt? I'll go off on the butt. Fan of boobs? Oh here we go! But if someone's entire request is "dirty talk", I'm not psychic, so I can't give you what you want.

But I usually get dudes who are just like this. I..... no.

 

[NotYou]

This question

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Especially when MY ASS IS MY DISPLAY PIC. You literally click ON MY ASS to get to my room.

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YOU ALREADY KNOW IT'S BIG, DUMBASS. If you're trying to see it right now...... Fucking tip, bro.

I think things like that are ways for these guys to try trick you into "yeah look bb" and you turn around showing it. What they don't realize is the fact THEY are the dumb ones, not the models lol.

 

[Lua Moon]

“You want me to pay for a PM? Good luck getting anywhere on this site!” - grey name (who I then kicked from my room)

“You just kicked one of the highest tippers on this site. You must be allergic to money!” - another grey name that entered my room shortly after the first one.

 

[Blake Devine]

I have a regular who goes for sock puppets in private. Not sock puppets with eyes, decorations or anything...just plain socks. He requests that I start with the sock puppets behind my back and slowly introduce them as Snip and Nip that want to bite his cock off between mimicking kissy noises. He likes me to threaten him with my sock puppets that they are going to get him one day and destroy him. Sometimes he prefers I crawl on all fours, snarling and growling like some feral wildcat. I don't even try to understand fetishes anymore lol