The virgin thing doesn't work anymore?

[mermaidwhit]

I have revealed the truth to many clients about my virginity only to be met with sarcasm, disbelief or put downs, not one guy actually found this desirable and it puts me down as I have to make up lies to keep the flow going. The lies go deep about sexual experiences I never had ....to fetishes, to the last time I had sex..ect I haven't cammed in three days as I feel discouraged that these guys just want a experienced girl over poor little unexperienced me...

These guys force their views on sexuality on me "you should have sex" "try this, try that" " I want a bigger toy in your pussy .....without thinking that im very tight down there for something huge but the non acceptance turns me off to men and dating EVEN MORE! I have a thyroid disorder or had not sure anymore that lowers my libido and attraction..i also dont like men very much as a whole...

I don't know what to do anymore..help?

 

[Influenced]

I have revealed the truth to many clients about my virginity only to be met with sarcasm, disbelief or put downs, not one guy actually found this desirable and it puts me down as I have to make up lies to keep the flow going. The lies go deep about sexual experiences I never had ....to fetishes, to the last time I had sex..ect I haven't cammed in three days as I feel discouraged that these guys just want a experienced girl over poor little unexperienced me...

These guys force their views on sexuality on me "you should have sex" "try this, try that" " I want a bigger toy in your pussy .....without thinking that im very tight down there for something huge but the non acceptance turns me off to men and dating EVEN MORE! I have a thyroid disorder or had not sure anymore that lowers my libido and attraction..i also dont like men very much as a whole...

I don't know what to do anymore..help?

Ban/Ignore/Mute-Move on to people that will accept you, weed the undesirables out.

 

[JickyJuly]

Ban anyone who demands anything. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Heck, don't do anything you don't enjoy! You don't owe anyone an explanation. Keep your personal info to yourself. Strangers don't deserve it. Strangers won't respect it.

As an aside, if camming were affecting my opinion of men in a negative way and I still planned to date as a straight woman, I'd either rework my camming or give it up. Just me though.

Edit to add: Have you started on clip sites? I bet the virgin thing might be a sellable fetish.

 

[RogueWarrior]

Who are your clients? I'm guessing members on a camsite. Why are you revealing this info to them? Not relevant, unless you're going for a fetish thing.

This is like real life stuff in reverse where guys obsess over a number. How many guys have you fucked before me? Irrelevant.

For all I know (and I don't know shit) there may be a lot of models who have never had sex with a guy (I'm guessing your definition since you mentioned toys). Maybe girls only. Maybe just haven't had the desire.

 

[Violet Dawn]

Just don't answer. There's literally something for everyone. Maybe become a dom or something.

 

[mermaidwhit]

Well I needed to reveal certain things about myself in order to know what attracts or repels clients. If I ban every guy that said such thing I would no one left lol Not one guy supported my choice and kind of harassed me about it, so I'm guessing all men now want you to have 10000 guys before them? I don't understand anymore, and yes this job is turning me off to men as 80% are already married or with girlfriends, ask for demeaning things just force their stuff on you but whatever I guess I will have to keep on lying.

 

[Zana]

Yeaaaah, I don't think this is for you.

 

[Val Vega]

Unfortunately, you are going to run into a lot of this. Men have very strong pre-conceived ideas of sexuality and they will try to foist them on you. And with you being a sex worker, the problem is magnified. They are going to assume you are a raging sex goddess that is there solely to give them pleasure and that it is more than a job for you. The best thing you can do is map out what your boundaries are and put them out there under no uncertain terms. Whether your find success with the boundaries you set is hard to say, but you have to work within your comfort level or you will burn out fast.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Well I needed to reveal certain things about myself in order to know what attracts or repels clients.

Not really. Your personal sex life is nobody's business but your own. If someone asks, you can tell them that it's irrelevant. I personally answer all personal questions with "it doesn't matter, since I'm made of pixels and you can't touch me".

 

[RogueWarrior]

Yeaaaah, I don't think this is for you.

Yep, there is that also. Sometimes the best advice is not what a person wants to hear.

 

[CharlotteLace]

Well I needed to reveal certain things about myself in order to know what attracts or repels clients. If I ban every guy that said such thing I would no one left lol Not one guy supported my choice and kind of harassed me about it, so I'm guessing all men now want you to have 10000 guys before them? I don't understand anymore, and yes this job is turning me off to men as 80% are already married or with girlfriends, ask for demeaning things just force their stuff on you but whatever I guess I will have to keep on lying.

Okay, there's like 70 red flags here.

1) You don't need to reveal shit. Watch other models whose styles you admire, and figure out from there what attracts clients. Hint: It's everything. Everything attracts them/repels them. It's about finding your demographic.

2) Don't lump an entire gender under one assumption. It's naive and will only be detrimental to your well-being, on and off cam.

3) Single guys aren't the only ones who watch camgirls, and if you're looking for somebody to date don't do it on a camsite.

4) Nobody can force shit on you. That's what the ban button is for.

5) If you ban "everybody", new people will come. It's about weeding out the jerkfaces.

6) If you feel you have to keep on lying and damaging your self-esteem in order to cam, don't fucking cam.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Virginity as a choice often looks very much like a fear based decision. The men who don't understand definitely may be more common on a cam site. They think that you are missing out and want themselves to be part of an experience you will remember forever. This is why virginity can have such appeal, you can have a big impact on the virgin.
There will also be an element in this of too good to be real on a cam site, so the skepticism is normal. You must have expected to be quizzed on it?

Get very clear on what you want to try, and what you won't do. You will be saying 'no' quite a bit for a while, so you must have backups that you will do, something else to offer when you must say no. This keeps the flow of the moment going. Members are happy to move onto something else most times, so don't be afraid to set boundaries.

You obviously have some interest in trying more with your sexuality: You seem to be thinking of dating, this seems like some kind of exploration of what men expect in terms of sex for you. There is a member out there for every type of experience if you are curious about what type of men are out there. A cam site is perhaps not the best reflection of most men, so be aware of that.
There will be members/ men in RL who will take their time, pay attention, wait for you to be ready for the next thing to explore. So don't be put off by the crowd.

One last thing, most men know they are ignorant about their woman and her sexuality. We are up to be taught about the woman we are with, everything from kissing to when you want your guy inside you.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Okay, there's like 70 red flags here.

1) You don't need to reveal shit. Watch other models whose styles you admire, and figure out from there what attracts clients. Hint: It's everything. Everything attracts them/repels them. It's about finding your demographic.

2) Don't lump an entire gender under one assumption. It's naive and will only be detrimental to your well-being, on and off cam.

3) Single guys aren't the only ones who watch camgirls, and if you're looking for somebody to date don't do it on a camsite.

4) Nobody can force shit on you. That's what the ban button is for.

5) If you ban "everybody", new people will come. It's about weeding out the jerkfaces.

6) If you feel you have to keep on lying and damaging your self-esteem in order to cam, don't fucking cam.

OP, not making fun of you for the virginity thing. I see you mentioned this back in February when you were asking for help.

Not one guy supported my choice and kind of harassed me about it, so I'm guessing all men now want you to have 10000 guys before them?

You on the camsites looking for support for your choices?

 

[mermaidwhit]

Yes they have pretty strong unrealistic expectations of what I should be like and my past instead of focusing on the current present time session between each other, this happens a lot in streammate and I don't lump all men in that category they lump themselves into a bunch of ...i don't know what.....but if you are married/hitched up AND harassing a model AND being a dick they don't deserve to be called anything nice. There's only so much I can cope to lol I have been lied to, used and not paid in my short time of camming....but I guess that's normal taking in consideration my situation....

@ justjoined Nope, im not looking for support of my choices, but if I was a man and I had a beautiful naked woman in front of me ready to perform his fantasies on cam the last thing on my mind is to bring her down based on his moral spectrum of what I should be like which is irrelevant to me shoving a dildo in my pussy at that moment..dont worry girls, I will still be your competition, not giving up lol

 

[EspiKvlt]

I'm really confused what the relationship status of men on a camsite has to do with anything.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

As an aside, if camming were affecting my opinion of men in a negative way and I still planned to date as a straight woman, I'd either rework my camming or give it up. Just me though.

Edit to add: Have you started on clip sites? I bet the virgin thing might be a sellable fetish.

Oh definitely virgin would be a big seller..
Here is the problem virgin is probably the most overhyped word in porn (Nympho maybe a close second.) Men have been told that this girl they see doing sexy stuff in Playboy magazine, porn film, strip club, and now camsite, is either a real virgin or virgin for a specific activity, e.g. anal sex for decades. We know that this stuff is crazy popular. (The OP should google selling her virginity to see just how crazed guys go over viginity.) It is part of the reason that new model tag is so valuable on MFC.

We also know that some huge percentage of girls who claim to be a virgin in any sense are lying to us. So frankly, most won't believe that a camgirl is a virgin. If you look and act 18 or 19 seem genuinely naive about things than some guys will start to believe you. I'm guessing that a fair number of guys who gave you hard time about being a virgin simply don't believe you. Your virginity could be a big selling point for you, but you have to understand that virginity and camming are really opposite. It would be like if you meet a guy who was 5' 6" and told you he played for the NBA, it might be true but odds are he is just bull shitting you.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

@ justjoined Nope, im not looking for support of my choices, but if I was a man and I had a beautiful naked woman in front of me ready to perform his fantasies on cam the last thing on my mind is to bring her down based on his moral spectrum of what I should be like which is irrelevant to me shoving a dildo in my pussy at that moment..

I see.

Might be helpful to stop thinking of these people as "a man". "Pushy customer" or "troll" might be lighter baggage to carry.

 

[SaffronBurke]

Yes they have pretty strong unrealistic expectations of what I should be like and my past instead of focusing on the current present time session between each other, this happens a lot in streammate and I don't lump all men in that category they lump themselves into a bunch of ...i don't know what.....but if you are married/hitched up AND harassing a model AND being a dick they don't deserve to be called anything nice. There's only so much I can cope to lol I have been lied to, used and not paid in my short time of camming....but I guess that's normal taking in consideration my situation....

Baaaaannnnn theeeeeemmmmmmmmm. Tell them it's none of their business and ban them if they push. I promise you, there's oodles of dudes with cash on Streamate. You can be firm with your limits without giving a reason - "no" is a whole answer. Lots of models say "no" to penetration or bigger toys, or what have you, because tons of different reasons ranging from "I just don't wanna" to "that shit fucking hurts". Dudes being pushy or rude usually don't pay anyway, and when they do, it's not worth putting up with their shit, so you don't lose anything by telling them no and/or banning.

Some examples of responses you can use to set your foot down:

"How many guys have you slept with bb?" - these guys are looking for free jerk off material, so "It doesn't matter" is all you need to say. Ban if they push.

"Use a bigger toy bb" - Literally everyone who uses toys gets this multiple times a shift. The customer is already in a show, so they're paying already. Responses like "This IS my biggest toy" or, even better, "this is the toy that makes me cum!" will shut up most. If they leave, they leave. If they push, either lean back and act like you can't see the screen, or ban them.

Streamate doesn't penalize models for banning, so there's no reason to not be friendly with that banhammer. In addition, it's against the customer's code of conduct to even make the models uncomfortable, so the site stands behind any reason we could have to ban someone. For every person I've banned, I have ten more paying customers who make them irrelevant. Make best friends with the ban button.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Oh definitely virgin would be a big seller..
Here is the problem virgin is probably the most overhyped word in porn (Nympho maybe a close second.) Men have been told that this girl they see doing sexy stuff in Playboy magazine, porn film, strip club, and now camsite, is either a real virgin or virgin for a specific activity, e.g. anal sex for decades. We know that this stuff is crazy popular. (The OP should google selling her virginity to see just how crazed guys go over viginity.) It is part of the reason that new model tag is so valuable on MFC.

We also know that some huge percentage of girls who claim to be a virgin in any sense are lying to us. So frankly, most won't believe that a camgirl is a virgin. If you look and act 18 or 19 seem genuinely naive about things than some guys will start to believe you. I'm guessing that a fair number of guys who gave you hard time about being a virgin simply don't believe you. Your virginity could be a big selling point for you, but you have to understand that virginity and camming are really opposite. It would be like if you meet a guy who was 5' 6" and told you he played for the NBA, it might be true but odds are he is just bull shitting you.

Only see 1 "virginass" tag on CB now, 3 "virgin" tags on MFC. Idk.

I wonder if that might attract the sort people looking to push boundaries?

A model I knew said she was a virgin, I pretty much doubted her at the time, now pretty convinced she was telling the truth. Not like it really matters one way or the other...

 

[AudriTwo]

Well I needed to reveal certain things about myself in order to know what attracts or repels clients. If I ban every guy that said such thing I would no one left lol Not one guy supported my choice and kind of harassed me about it, so I'm guessing all men now want you to have 10000 guys before them? I don't understand anymore, and yes this job is turning me off to men as 80% are already married or with girlfriends, ask for demeaning things just force their stuff on you but whatever I guess I will have to keep on lying.

I don't think every dude is like this. But I can see why it comes across like that. Women also tend to put pressure on each other to have sex with men too. I remember when I was a virgin to the cock, and my galfriends would just tease me about being a lesbian, because that must totally be it, right?

Some of these dudes are full of shit. They just want to get their rocks off. Don't let anyone's opinion of you change your values and boundaries!

@ justjoined Nope, im not looking for support of my choices, but if I was a man and I had a beautiful naked woman in front of me ready to perform his fantasies on cam the last thing on my mind is to bring her down based on his moral spectrum of what I should be like which is irrelevant to me shoving a dildo in my pussy at that moment..dont worry girls, I will still be your competition, not giving up lol

Some people are just total assholes. Assholes are usually irrelevant.

 

[Cal_blue]

actually,theres also the section of guys who might like that and feel less intimidated by who they figure gets it all the time cause she's hot.
everyones different and everyone knows that but we've been trained to only like hot looking people and figure theres a class system in physical attractiveness...and think the hot people have relationships of all kinds with no effort... But you help the guys that feel like geeks to not feel bad..so to speak

 

[MojitosJourney]

I'm not sure if you're looking for advice, but I really wanted to speak about rule 43 (or whatever it's called) "whatever exists, people will masturbate to it."

This took me a LONG time to understand, but trying to be the person on cam that's going to appeal to everyone will just burn you out, make you hate people or yourself, and probably quit.

Keep being you, please. Be a virgin. Be tight. Say no to big toys... or any toys at all. You don't even have to get naked if you don't want to.. there are some girls who make a lot of money from the tease of NOT showing the goods. Do what you're comfortable with. Use this job as your way to learn how to say no.

Eventually, if you keep being you, and showing up on cam, the more likely you'll meet the people who are really, really into what you're offering. There are some guys out there that would kill for a cam show with a virgin! But if you waste time with assholes, you'll never find your ideal customer... you'll be too busy trying to please a customer who isn't a match for you.

I speak from experience.

 

[Ariel Rebel]

I have revealed the truth to many clients about my virginity only to be met with sarcasm, disbelief or put downs, not one guy actually found this desirable and it puts me down as I have to make up lies to keep the flow going. The lies go deep about sexual experiences I never had ....to fetishes, to the last time I had sex..ect I haven't cammed in three days as I feel discouraged that these guys just want a experienced girl over poor little unexperienced me...

These guys force their views on sexuality on me "you should have sex" "try this, try that" " I want a bigger toy in your pussy .....without thinking that im very tight down there for something huge but the non acceptance turns me off to men and dating EVEN MORE! I have a thyroid disorder or had not sure anymore that lowers my libido and attraction..i also dont like men very much as a whole...

I don't know what to do anymore..help?

Forget all the blabber you don't enjoy from these people... in the end, it's your life and you will run it the way you want.
Be who you want to be and like minded people will find you. There will always be haters everywhere tho so the best way is to keep your head up high and zen them out!

Don't despair, keep smiling and good luck in everything you want to accomplish