terribly sorry to be such a bore, but...

[Jbr]

so...
Obviously I didn't manage to end this.

Can anyone help me with a question though?

I was browsing on Stripchat when I found this girl working there with a diferent profile and name.

I can't help it, sometimes I go there just to see her face but I haven't let myself be known in her room.

Is there someway she would be able to know I am there???
I was waiting for a reply to a whatsapp message I sent about 3 hours ago. I opened her page on SC, and she replied to my message just after I opened her cam. Not with a relevant answer but with "hey"
It has freaked me out a little, can studio operaters or models see your ip address? Her studio is also on AdultWork but I haven't been there to see her for some time now.

 

[CheeseMoon]

I was browsing on Stripchat when I found this girl working there with a diferent profile and name.

I can't help it, sometimes I go there just to see her face but I haven't let myself be known in her room.

Is there someway she would be able to know I am there???
I was waiting for a reply to a whatsapp message I sent about 3 hours ago. I opened her page on SC, and she replied to my message just after I opened her cam. Not with a relevant answer but with "hey"
It has freaked me out a little, can studio operaters or models see your ip address? Her studio is also on AdultWork but I haven't been there to see her for some time now.

According to what other StripChat models have said here before, models can't see users IP addresses. They can only see if they are presently online or when they last were online (with some fine print attached).
And even if she could see the IP address for a StripChat guest in her room, she couldnt possibly know it was you hiding behind it. That's just not how IP addresses work in the real world.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

can studio operaters or models see your ip address?

No. Either something you did revealed your presence and she put it together, or it was a true coincidence. We don't have access to anything that would allow that kind of privacy invasion on any platforms.

 

[Jbr]

so, you think this was just a coincedence?
Freeeaky!
I haven't even spoken in the room, I just go there as a guest sometimes. I opened the window and 2 seconds later she sent the text, so weird....
Another user is a Knight and is tipping her way more than I could ever afford, so I just go to see her face once in a while. I even leave when she does stuff for tips. I know what I am doing is probably a bit creepy but not watching her performance makes me feel a bit less so.

Just for the record, we still talk every day, she still tells me she loves me sometimes.
Still has never asked me for anything, or asked when I will be back spending..

I don't know what to make of it tbh......

 

[rockin_rod]

I just go to see her face once in a while. I even leave when she does stuff for tips. I know what I am doing is probably a bit creepy but not watching her performance makes me feel a bit less so.

You seem fairly self-aware, so I'm not sure what anyone can say that you probably haven't figured out.
But ^this definitely seems obsessive and unhealthy to me. Visiting the room should be about enjoying the show, preferably participating in chat and with tips, and not having emotional involvement. What you describe is totally the opposite, you have the emotional stuff and don't stay for the show.
Just another guy's opinion, but I really think you need to stop visiting her room and cease the daily off-site communication, it is only leading to inevitable heartache for you and a distraction of her time.

 

[piercedcock78]

I always find it odd when men across the world "fall in love" with me while ignoring all the women he could be happy with right in his own town.

I don't encourage it at all and always make it clear this is a job for me and I'm never going to meet them or anyone online but it still happens. I hate it and I just wish all my customers would just have some sexy online fun with me and then go away until next time lol.

Maybe ask yourself why you aren't trying to get to know anyone close by.

This is a very good point.

I never will forget an incident before I was ever a cam model.

There was a girl from the UK and her and I met online and basically just flirted and talked. Since we were both into writing we would share stuff back and forth. At some point in there she remarked about us being bf/gf. I said sure, but in a lighthearted way. Perhaps it was an age gap (I was in my mid thirties and she was twenty,) but I never put any stock in online relationships of any kind. I kind of view even things like the word "friend" as being completely bastardized by social media etc.

This lasted a few months, and then she told me that she wanted to tell me something but was afraid that I would be hurt. I told her to tell me whatever it was. It turns out she found someone in the real world (a concept as old as time lol). I told her I was far from hurt or angry. For one thing, there was quite an age difference, for another we had never met each other in person, and finally she lived a bit across an ocean. I told her that she was young, talented, had a good heart and she deserved the absolute best in life and that I was happy for her. I still mean all of those things.

However, that wasn't the response she was looking for and she became irate and took it as me dumping her.

Ah, well, I still wish her the best.

But I agree with you.

Maybe it is because I am more old school, but why that anyone seeks serious relationships half way around the country or the world simply based off of an internet only communication is mystifying to me.

To the OP: Just always keep this in mind, as long as you get that this is a fantasy (that is what we are in the business of selling) you will have a fun time.

It is when you try to play the mind games with yourself to believe that it is any more than a fantasy that you will cause yourself what you now seem to be experiencing.

I hope that this helps.

 

[LeftistLibbie]

Another veteran here. Try this...

Tell her you owe a ton of taxes, or you're filing for bankruptcy, and can't tip for the foreseeable future. Then, visit her regularly (when your tokens are out or very low) and watch how she changes over time...probably a short amount of time.

I've done this before when I was actually unable to buy tokens, and sometimes the model would immediately change her tune - sometimes it took a couple weeks. But every time the true colors eventually came out.

Rightfully so, too. Her 19 y/o beauty is there for one reason, and it's not to get emotionally involved with a 45 y/o long-time cam site member.

All just my opinion.

p.s. Don't camp out and waste her time/attention! Just watch her reactions/actions. Will probably just take a few minutes.

Wow. This is actually pretty annoying. Her "true colors?" What, that you're paying for a service and she's performing for you? Do you also get pissy when the barista at Starbucks is only smiling at you because she's on the clock and doesn't actually think you're her bff?

No shit someone who's interacting with you as a job "changes her tune" when you're no longer doing the decent thing and paying her for her time and effort. Get over yourself. I hate "tests." What a cunty thing to do to someone.

 

[Jbr]

Wow. This is actually pretty annoying. Her "true colors?" What, that you're paying for a service and she's performing for you? Do you also get pissy when the barista at Starbucks is only smiling at you because she's on the clock and doesn't actually think you're her bff?

No shit someone who's interacting with you as a job "changes her tune" when you're no longer doing the decent thing and paying her for her time and effort. Get over yourself. I hate "tests." What a cunty thing to do to someone.

You don't think pretending to care about someone in order to get money from them is cunty? I respect the models here who stick to the truth. Its not cool to tell people you love them if you don't. Especially for money.

This is a very good point.

I never will forget an incident before I was ever a cam model.

There was a girl from the UK and her and I met online and basically just flirted and talked. Since we were both into writing we would share stuff back and forth. At some point in there she remarked about us being bf/gf. I said sure, but in a lighthearted way. Perhaps it was an age gap (I was in my mid thirties and she was twenty,) but I never put any stock in online relationships of any kind. I kind of view even things like the word "friend" as being completely bastardized by social media etc.

This lasted a few months, and then she told me that she wanted to tell me something but was afraid that I would be hurt. I told her to tell me whatever it was. It turns out she found someone in the real world (a concept as old as time lol). I told her I was far from hurt or angry. For one thing, there was quite an age difference, for another we had never met each other in person, and finally she lived a bit across an ocean. I told her that she was young, talented, had a good heart and she deserved the absolute best in life and that I was happy for her. I still mean all of those things.

However, that wasn't the response she was looking for and she became irate and took it as me dumping her.

Ah, well, I still wish her the best.

But I agree with you.

Maybe it is because I am more old school, but why that anyone seeks serious relationships half way around the country or the world simply based off of an internet only communication is mystifying to me.

To the OP: Just always keep this in mind, as long as you get that this is a fantasy (that is what we are in the business of selling) you will have a fun time.

It is when you try to play the mind games with yourself to believe that it is any more than a fantasy that you will cause yourself what you now seem to be experiencing.

I hope that this helps.

I happen to think what you did to this girl is pretty cunty too. Why would you pretend to care about someone if you don't. You say you agreed to he her bf in a "lighthearted" way but you had no way of knowing if she saw it the same way. Pretty cruel, if you ask me...

 

[piercedcock78]

I happen to think what you did to this girl is pretty cunty too. Why would you pretend to care about someone if you don't. You say you agreed to he her bf in a "lighthearted" way but you had no way of knowing if she saw it the same way. Pretty cruel, if you ask me...

You are correct.

I had no idea that she saw it in the way that she did.

That was also the point.

I thought I made that pretty clear.

Likewise, I did genuinely care for her, hence the rest of my response that you chose to ignore.

Conversely, let's say that the shoe would have been on the other foot. When she told me that she found someone in the real world, then I would have been brokenhearted, however, in the end, I would have had no one but myself to blame for a quite unrealistic expectation.

I also would have felt quite cruel to have held her to such an unrealistic standard.

On the other hand, perhaps going in public (forums such as this), asking for an opinion or advice, and then going on the attack and referring to people as "cunty" because they give you what you asked for (an honest opinion) says more about you than you care to admit.

Do take care.

 

[Jbr]

You are correct.

I had no idea that she saw it in the way that she did.

That was also the point.

I thought I made that pretty clear.

Likewise, I did genuinely care for her, hence the rest of my response that you chose to ignore.

Conversely, let's say that the shoe would have been on the other foot. When she told me that she found someone in the real world, then I would have been brokenhearted, however, in the end, I would have had no one but myself to blame for a quite unrealistic expectation.

I also would have felt quite cruel to have held her to such an unrealistic standard.

On the other hand, perhaps going in public (forums such as this), asking for an opinion or advice, and then going on the attack and referring to people as "cunty" because they give you what you asked for (an honest opinion) says more about you than you care to admit.

Do take care.

No. Look, if you didn't feel that way about her, why did you say you did? To you, it was just a bit of a laugh but people are still people, living human people with feelings. Just because that person is at the other end of an Internet connection, doesn't make their feelings any less real.

People in relationships meet other people and leave those relationships all the time. That's a risk you take, irl or not. The fact that this happened on the Web is irrelevant.

You lied, you led her on for your own amusement, soz but, not cool.

You've revealed yourself to be a bit of a jerk. This was a story you chose to tell, not advice, not an opinion. And please don't try to goad me. You acted like a dick to that girl. I think im mot the only one who needs to "admit" some things to myself....

 

[piercedcock78]

No. Look, if you didn't feel that way about her, why did you say you did? To you, it was just a bit of a laugh but people are still people, living human people with feelings. Just because that person is at the other end of an Internet connection, doesn't make their feelings any less real.

People in relationships meet other people and leave those relationships all the time. That's a risk you take, irl or not. The fact that this happened on the Web is irrelevant.

You lied, you led her on for your own amusement, soz but, not cool.

You've revealed yourself to be a bit of a jerk. This was a story you chose to tell, not advice, not an opinion. And please don't try to goad me. You acted like a dick to that girl. I think im mot the only one who needs to "admit" some things to myself....

I fully admitted in my original post to you that I didn't get it.

Since we did not meet in a relationship site, I honestly thought that she meant it in half jest because of the time we spent together exchanging writing projects and the like.

This is also why that I didn't take it to heart when she said that she found someone in the real world and was genuinely glad that she did.

I told the story to illustrate a point about unrealistic expectations.

In fairness, since it was never really elaborated on, it would have been very unrealistic of me to have taken it for anything more than I did. It was also unrealistic for her to expect that I would.

To be clear, to this day, I still do not get the whole online relationship thing. That is just me.

You seem to have built an unrealistic expectation about this girl.

She then goes to a different site with a different name where you happen to find her.

However, even though you have suspected that you are getting played, you continue to go to her new site just to see her face?

Have I misunderstood any of this?

If not, then why are you continuing to torment yourself to the point of worrying if she can see your ip address or know if you are there?

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

You lied, you led her on for your own amusement, soz but, not cool.

Nah, if it went the way he said, seems like quite a normal thing to end the online flirtation once there is someone involved irl. I don't read anywhere that he led her on. Maybe I missed a post, but I don't see that anywhere in what was written. Yes it seems the gal involved experienced some discomfort in the outcome, but as an outsider it looks like the best thing to do would be to part ways.

What was his other option, beg her to choose him over the dude irl? That would be sooo weird. Pretend it's all good and carry on with the online flirting? Also super weird. These options are unrealistic and don't make sense.

I think you are reading into this emotionally because you are on the other side, with misplaced feelings and misunderstandings.

 

[piercedcock78]

Nah, if it went the way he said, seems like quite a normal thing to end the online flirtation once there is someone involved irl. I don't read anywhere that he led her on. Maybe I missed a post, but I don't see that anywhere in what was written. Yes it seems the gal involved experienced some discomfort in the outcome, but as an outsider it looks like the best thing to do would be to part ways.

What was his other option, beg her to choose him over the dude irl? That would be sooo weird. Pretend it's all good and carry on with the online flirting? Also super weird. These options are unrealistic and don't make sense.

I think you are reading into this emotionally because you are on the other side, with misplaced feelings and misunderstandings.

Thanks for putting it a bit better than I did.

This is what I was trying to explain.

 

[yummybrownfox]

so...
Obviously I didn't manage to end this.

Can anyone help me with a question though?

I was browsing on Stripchat when I found this girl working there with a diferent profile and name.

I can't help it, sometimes I go there just to see her face but I haven't let myself be known in her room.

Is there someway she would be able to know I am there???
I was waiting for a reply to a whatsapp message I sent about 3 hours ago. I opened her page on SC, and she replied to my message just after I opened her cam. Not with a relevant answer but with "hey"
It has freaked me out a little, can studio operaters or models see your ip address? Her studio is also on AdultWork but I haven't been there to see her for some time now.

You have another thread about this:

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/is-this-girl-psycic.42215/#post-1137302

 

[Jbr]

You have another thread about this:

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/is-this-girl-psycic.42215/#post-1137302

yes, I do. Apologies for that. I was a little freaked out an impatient for advice..

 

[Jbr]

First off, let me apologise for using the word cunty. I didn't really mean to attack you, I was just using the terminoligy from the previous post.

But...

At some point in there she remarked about us being bf/gf. I said sure, but in a lighthearted way.

I don't read anywhere that he led her on.

No?

What was his other option, beg her to choose him over the dude irl?

I just feel that he shouldn't have said it in the first place, especially "considering the age gap"....The decent thing to do would be to at least make it clear that it was in half jest.

Also, am I the only one who assumed that there probably was no dude irl and she just wanted to check his reaction?

This lasted a few months, and then she told me that she wanted to tell me something but was afraid that I would be hurt. I told her to tell me whatever it was. It turns out she found someone in the real world (a concept as old as time lol). I told her I was far from hurt or angry. For one thing, there was quite an age difference, for another we had never met each other in person, and finally she lived a bit across an ocean. I told her that she was young, talented, had a good heart and she deserved the absolute best in life and that I was happy for her. I still mean all of those things.

I can't fault you here at all. Totally decent and up front response.


Finally, more apologies. I didn't really mean to reopen this whole discussion. The thing with the whatsapp message just totally freaked me out. I should have started a new thread and just a new thread, I posted the question here without thinking.

The update was just an update.

I'm fully aware of everyone's opinion about what I have got myself into and how it looks but I really enjoy her company, it doesn't cost me anything and she never asks me for anything. Often, our schedules match up so I am waking up when she gets home from work and we just chat for a while before I get up to get ready and leave the house. Sometimes it's romantic and sometimes it's just...chit chat. I don't know why things have gone the way they have but I can't see any financial angle for her here, maybe you all disagree....


Peace out ppl.
Thanks for your time.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

I just feel that he shouldn't have said it in the first place, especially "considering the age gap"....The decent thing to do would be to at least make it clear that it was in half jest.

Okay, but she had still then gone on to meet someone irl. So I don't see how it matters if he had been serious or being silly.

Also, am I the only one who assumed that there probably was no dude irl and she just wanted to check his reaction?

Red flag if so. One more reason he was wise to cut it off, I'd think.

 

[piercedcock78]

Apology accepted.

Likewise, my apologies as well, if any part of my responses did you more harm than good.

That was certainly not my goal.

Over the years, on my end, I have certainly learned to be a bit more clear on all online communication. Still every now and then it falls flat.

Whether or not you realize it, you hit on a good point, which I also tried to make when I said that even the term "friend" is bastardized thanks to social media. For a while it seemed that everyone was collecting "friends" yet how many of those "friends" did they ever spend any real world time with, have over to dinner, or share any real in depth conversations with? I am not saying that from a judgmental place. I was guilty of it myself, and then I saw it for what it was and weeded out my list to only include real world friends on my personal account.


I also don't just say this about a specific type of online communication. I mean all online communication. Sometimes, the typed word is different or takes on different meaning than if it is verbalized in a conversation. I have seen this happen where friends irl have a misunderstanding online only to call each other and realize that there was nothing more to it than either something was misread or taken out of context because it looked different on the screen than it did when talked out loud if that makes sense.

As far as the situation with the girl went, we met in a writers group. What I took her to mean was that we spent so much time exchanging projects for each other to give feedback on that we were like bf/gf because, yeah, sometimes it was flirtatious but in a light hearted way. It wasn't something that was dwelled on or that either of us talked about on any kind of in depth level. I was genuine when I told her that I thought she deserved the best in life and that I was glad for her. I think she would have a lot to offer anyone in the way of smarts and talent irl and I hope that she realizes that.

However, take any kind of suspected romance (or in your case lust) out of the equation for a second and go back to online communication and people who take it to heart too much or read too much into it.

I remember another time with an online "friend". He needed some help with money, I had a little to spare and so I helped him out. At the moment, when he saw that I answered his request, he sent me a message and said, "You're like a brother to me."

Did I take it to heart or read into it that he thought of me as a member of his family?

Nope.

I took it for what it was, his way of saying thanks for helping me out of a jam.

Did I expect him to be my new best friend and message me every day and let me into his personal life?

Nope.

I also didn't expect any kind of payback for it.

He asked for help, I took it upon myself to give him an amount that I felt comfortable with and he sent me a message that I took to mean thank you.

End of story.

Now, had I taken his remark literally, I would have been very hurt to think that he thought of me as family and then despite liking a few of my posts and sending me the occasional message, didn't invite me to the next holiday. lol

My response to you was to try to help you not torment yourself in the way that you are doing. It was a sincere response in that regard. If it was misunderstood, then I am sorry.

If I could offer you one tip:

Write yourself a letter about your situation.

Leave it sit for a few days (just as though you mailed it to a friend).

Then read it (pretending that it is a friend of yours who wrote you the letter).

Finally, write a letter back to your "friend" on what you think, how you would advise him to handle the situation.

You may well be surprised with the answers to your questions that you already have without having to ask anyone else.

I sincerely hope that this helps.

Take Care.