Someone tipped off my mom that I'm a model, advice?

[LunaHellsing]

Let me start by saying that I made an account here so I could make this post.
I am 20 years old.
I have severe anxiety, minor PTSD, and major depression. I've found that being a non-nude cam model has helped me so much, even though I've only been doing it for a couple days now.

I already feel more in control, confident, and my anxiety isn't as bad when I stream.

Well today I woke up to a text from my mother saying that someone told her what I do.
I immediately started to freak out.

I wanted to know who told her, and she only told me that it was someone I used to go to high school with, a high school that I only attended freshman and sophomore year to..
She refuses to tell me their name.

She's furious with me.

I'm worried because right now they help me out with my phone bill, and car insurance.
I told her that I am a consenting adult who can make these choices, and she told me that I was only an adult if I paid my bills.

I had dropped out of college, and live with my Gramma right now, I am CERTAIN she didn't tell my mother. We had already discussed that what I do here is private, and unless I'm a danger to myself/others, she wouldn't tell my mom what I do with my life.

I really need some advice right now, or at least someone to talk to.

Thank you.

 

[Zana]

Maybe your mom just watches what you do and found you on her own?

My mom found a picture of my butt on tumblr but played the whole "someone told me but I'm not telling you who" thing. Or maybe your gramma did tell her but really doesn't want you to know she did.

But if she's going to stop paying your bills, so be it. I'd rather have the rights to be myself and do what I want than worry about a couple bills. Hustle to pay them yourself and you won't owe anyone an explanation for anything

 

[SophiaSophia]

Let me start by saying that I made an account here so I could make this post.
I am 20 years old.
I have severe anxiety, minor PTSD, and major depression. I've found that being a non-nude cam model has helped me so much, even though I've only been doing it for a couple days now.

I already feel more in control, confident, and my anxiety isn't as bad when I stream.

Well today I woke up to a text from my mother saying that someone told her what I do.
I immediately started to freak out.

I wanted to know who told her, and she only told me that it was someone I used to go to high school with, a high school that I only attended freshman and sophomore year to..
She refuses to tell me their name.

She's furious with me.

I'm worried because right now they help me out with my phone bill, and car insurance.
I told her that I am a consenting adult who can make these choices, and she told me that I was only an adult if I paid my bills.

I had dropped out of college, and live with my Gramma right now, I am CERTAIN she didn't tell my mother. We had already discussed that what I do here is private, and unless I'm a danger to myself/others, she wouldn't tell my mom what I do with my life.

I really need some advice right now, or at least someone to talk to.

Thank you.

try talking to her- but put it like this- I would like to talk to you about this and explain because I think you've made some incorrect assumptions about what I'm doing. I would like to explain how this helps me and I need you to listen and be my mom right now and I think your imagination is probably a lot worse than what is actually going on. If you won't hear me out I'm afraid I can't talk to you about this subject at all and will end any discussion about it in the future.

i wouldn't mention your're worried about them not paying the bills they are paying now and if your mother says that she will cut you off if you don't quit calmly say that you have always appreciated what wonderful parents you have and consider yourself very fortunate to have such helpful and caring parents because you realize not everyone does but an ultimatum is tantamount to extortion and you believe extortion is wrong but ultimately it is their money and up to them. (guilt back)


its probably a knee jerk reaction- if you are genuinely non nude and you're comfortable with it- allow her to see a recorded show
dont worry about who outted you. its useless energy

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Strange that your mother would protect whoever told her, which most likely means it is not someone from your high school. It would be unlikely that your mother would hold more loyalty to them than you, and realistically, who would see you on cam (they'd have to be watching camsites to begin with) and then go and admit that to your mother?

Maybe a male friend of hers, maybe a partner, maybe a partner of one of her friends, maybe it was your gramma who told. If you've been camming for such a short period of time I think it would be highly unlucky and unlikely that anyone you know has seen on camming. Maybe you've had very high traffic, but I get a fair amount of people in my room and have only been recognised a few times as far as I'm aware of. All were guys I know, all of them dropped me a facebook message to let me know, and all of them were cool about it. If anyone else has recognised me they have stayed perfectly quiet about it, and I've been camming for years, used to do busy public cumshows, full nudity, have been in the top 100 with a camscore above 4k, so while I'm not as exposed as some girls, I'm pretty far up the page when I am on cam.

As for what to do now, well you are an adult even if they are paying your bills. This is lovely of them but it doesn't stop you legally being an adult. And if it comes with strings then it is your decision whether it's worth it. If you are finding that camming is making you feel better about yourself and is helping you then keep doing it. There is a lot of money to be made camming, so if it is something you enjoy then keep at it. What you can make camming will likely be more than your parents help, and it will be off your own bat. There is definitely something great about feeling you earn your own way. Many camgirls suffer from depression and find this is a great way to be off benefits. If you are doing non nude camming then it's not even particularly sexual, in many ways webcamming on a site like MFC is no different from doing youtube or instagram. It's just live and interactive social media, so maybe you can explain this to your mother. Maybe if you explained that it is for your confidence she would try to understand.

When I started camming I told my mother I was doing phone sex (which was the original plan). She accepted it, acknowledged that it's a decent way to make money and while we have never gone into details, she has only tried to help me be able to work and support myself financially. I've never gone into that it's actually webcamming on a social media type site, which is funny because my actual job is way less sexual than phone sex. But that's kind of like, I don't talk about my sex life with my mum, some things just don't need to be made obvious.

 

[xXDollFaceXx]

Do you have regions blocked so that no one where you live can see? that might be a good idea to begin with. If you've only been camming a couple days, AND you're a non nude model somehow I really doubt someone from school found you in such a short amount of time, maybe your grandma heard you talking in your room and the context of what you said and your mom doesn't want to rat her out? My roomate asks from time to time why I'm up talking to myself in my room at 3am when she comes out to pee in the middle of the night :x regardless, the cat is out of the bag so who said it doesn't really matter. What matters is that if camming makes you happy, then continue to do it. If they'll stop helping with your bills, just keep camming and try to make enough to cover them yourself, work your way up to where you don't need to rely on people so much. You need to think about whether that is realistic for you and think about slowly letting your mom know you like it and it's what you're into, hopefully with time, she'll be more understanding, or at least more tolerant. Camming can definitely help you raise your ability to deal with people and let them know what you want.

 

[LunaHellsing]

Strange that your mother would protect whoever told her, which most likely means it is not someone from your high school. It would be unlikely that your mother would hold more loyalty to them than you, and realistically, who would see you on cam (they'd have to be watching camsites to begin with) and then go and admit that to your mother?

Maybe a male friend of hers, maybe a partner, maybe a partner of one of her friends, maybe it was your gramma who told. If you've been camming for such a short period of time I think it would be highly unlucky and unlikely that anyone you know has seen on camming. Maybe you've had very high traffic, but I get a fair amount of people in my room and have only been recognised a few times as far as I'm aware of. All were guys I know, all of them dropped me a facebook message to let me know, and all of them were cool about it. If anyone else has recognised me they have stayed perfectly quiet about it, and I've been camming for years, used to do busy public cumshows, full nudity, have been in the top 100 with a camscore above 4k, so while I'm not as exposed as some girls, I'm pretty far up the page when I am on cam.

As for what to do now, well you are an adult even if they are paying your bills. This is lovely of them but it doesn't stop you legally being an adult. And if it comes with strings then it is your decision whether it's worth it. If you are finding that camming is making you feel better about yourself and is helping you then keep doing it. There is a lot of money to be made camming, so if it is something you enjoy then keep at it. What you can make camming will likely be more than your parents help, and it will be off your own bat. There is definitely something great about feeling you earn your own way. Many camgirls suffer from depression and find this is a great way to be off benefits. If you are doing non nude camming then it's not even particularly sexual, in many ways webcamming on a site like MFC is no different from doing youtube or instagram. It's just live and interactive social media, so maybe you can explain this to your mother. Maybe if you explained that it is for your confidence she would try to understand.

When I started camming I told my mother I was doing phone sex (which was the original plan). She accepted it, acknowledged that it's a decent way to make money and while we have never gone into details, she has only tried to help me be able to work and support myself financially. I've never gone into that it's actually webcamming on a social media type site, which is funny because my actual job is way less sexual than phone sex. But that's kind of like, I don't talk about my sex life with my mum, some things just don't need to be made obvious.

I love, LOVE your reply; thank you so much.

I completely agree with everything you said, too.

It's been hard today because she just has been making me out to be sub-human, and saying I have no morals or values for doing this.

I really appreciate all the support from everyone!

 

[LunaHellsing]

Do you have regions blocked so that no one where you live can see? that might be a good idea to begin with. If you've only been camming a couple days, AND you're a non nude model somehow I really doubt someone from school found you in such a short amount of time, maybe your grandma heard you talking in your room and the context of what you said and your mom doesn't want to rat her out? My roomate asks from time to time why I'm up talking to myself in my room at 3am when she comes out to pee in the middle of the night :x regardless, the cat is out of the bag so who said it doesn't really matter. What matters is that if camming makes you happy, then continue to do it. If they'll stop helping with your bills, just keep camming and try to make enough to cover them yourself, work your way up to where you don't need to rely on people so much. You need to think about whether that is realistic for you and think about slowly letting your mom know you like it and it's what you're into, hopefully with time, she'll be more understanding, or at least more tolerant. Camming can definitely help you raise your ability to deal with people and let them know what you want.

Thank you for the reply! I'm not sure that it's my Gramma, because she has had no problem with talking to me about stuff before. She told me when I moved in that she's not gonna tell my parents anything I do unless it's a danger to myself/others.
Again, I'm not 100% that it isn't her, but who knows.

My father has a history of watching cam girls, and watching porn, since she is wanting to hide this person as much as possible, and even clearly lying about it being someone from high school, it has to be someone close for sure.

 

[LunaHellsing]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this bs. This kind of shit is why many of us choose to block our state and/or our hometown.

Like Isabella, I am surprised that your mom is protecting the identity of this other person. That would've been awesome if she had told that person to fuck off, and mind their business.

Absolutely! I JUST blocked my state for this reason.

I'm glad to have such a supportive community, though! Thank you bunches!

 

[LunaHellsing]

This. Completely understandable that at a young age, certain bills are terrifying due to expenses. But, there are some ways to make it on your own. Such as a lower priced service provider, etc. Car insurance, and health insurance are some major expenses. But, if you can make enough money and cover them on your own, then you're not responsible to anyone but yourself.

Best of luck!

Thank you!

 

[LunaHellsing]

Maybe your mom just watches what you do and found you on her own?

My mom found a picture of my butt on tumblr but played the whole "someone told me but I'm not telling you who" thing. Or maybe your gramma did tell her but really doesn't want you to know she did.

But if she's going to stop paying your bills, so be it. I'd rather have the rights to be myself and do what I want than worry about a couple bills. Hustle to pay them yourself and you won't owe anyone an explanation for anything

I can totally get behind this! Thank you so much!

 

[yummybrownfox]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this bs. This kind of shit is why many of us choose to block our state and/or our hometown.

Like Isabella, I am surprised that your mom is protecting the identity of this other person. That would've been awesome if she had told that person to fuck off, and mind their business.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I'd rather have the rights to be myself and do what I want than worry about a couple bills. Hustle to pay them yourself and you won't owe anyone an explanation for anything

This. Completely understandable that at a young age, certain bills are terrifying due to expenses. But, there are some ways to make it on your own. Such as a lower priced service provider, etc. Car insurance, and health insurance are some major expenses. But, if you can make enough money and cover them on your own, then you're not responsible to anyone but yourself.

Best of luck!

 

[Emberblaze]

My immediate thought is that you should change all of your passwords on the off chance that she found out by snooping.

 

[Puffin]

My immediate thought is that you should change all of your passwords on the off chance that she found out by snooping.

yes, similar thoughts here.
Especially Google/gmail/chrome as by default your browser URL's is stored in your account history that can be accessed from your account signed into another computer.

 

[alexa_voltage]

Absolutely! I JUST blocked my state for this reason.

I'm glad to have such a supportive community, though! Thank you bunches!

Just because you block regions doesnt mean anything. Especially on mfc. People that come in your room will record your shows and post them anywhere and everywhere. There are sites specifically so people can upload camgirls shows. So its easy for someone to find you on tube sites or these sites for stolen shows. Its sucks but its a part of camming.

 

[Dan Epstein]

I've experienced a financial and legal breakdown that made me live with family members in order to pay off a huge debt.
Although I'm not a model,I can relate to the stress. This community is one of the best go to places for advise, I wish I'd known it 7 years ago when I was just a waiter and a bartender.
There's an extra value in this place and the people. These are my 2 cents, but what do I know

 

[peachymotel]

reading the replies on this thread was realllllly helpful! i'm glad acf has such a supportive community. i know this is super bad but i haven't deposited my mfc tokens because my parents have access to my bank account and if they see a huge deposit they'll definitely question me. I was thinking of maybe just getting it in a check or using one of the other payment options? but after reading this thread i've been thinking maybe i should just be upfront with them...anyway, OP, all the best to you!

 

[Deleted member 37064]

reading the replies on this thread was realllllly helpful! i'm glad acf has such a supportive community. i know this is super bad but i haven't deposited my mfc tokens because my parents have access to my bank account and if they see a huge deposit they'll definitely question me. I was thinking of maybe just getting it in a check or using one of the other payment options? but after reading this thread i've been thinking maybe i should just be upfront with them...anyway, OP, all the best to you!

Upfront with them is definitely a good option. But, while I am not advocating dishonesty or the like, is there a way you can open a bank account with just your name on it? This way, you can deposit earnings there until you're ready to tell them.

The downside is that if you are in college/university, and your tuition is covered by them as well as any scholarships, you might mess yourself up with taxes and such. I would recommend looking into all aspects of what will be impacted by income beyond just what is immediately apparent based upon what your parents provide.

That being said, if you make enough to live on your own, cover school expenses (if you are in said situation) and not have to carry loans, more power to you. You're ahead of the game compared to most people.

 

[camstory]

Hopefully you have things sorted out by now. If not, I'm not sure what I have will be any help, and for sure is not something you want to lead with - in fact it may be just something for you to think about if you have any thoughts that maybe your mom has some validity when suggesting you are absent of morals. (Personally I will be happy when we have got to a place that we see the absurdity of attaching morals to ones expression of sexuality) it sounds like your mother has accepted your fathers choice to at times be part of this moral void of camland, yet seem so far from accepting your choice.

Be proud of the adult choices you make. It's ok to question those choices, and not all will be the right ones, but do not let others, even your parents, shame you into questioning your moral self.

Love and tranquility be with you

 

[LunaHellsing]

Just wanted to give an update real quick!

1. My mother is not tech savy in any way, and has not had any access/knows my passwords since I was in middle school. I also have not lived with them for over a year now.

2. I am 99% sure it was NOT my Gramma who said anything because she has ALWAYS been upfront and honest/had no problem with talking to me about typically awkward issues.

3. I TOTALLY believe my mom is lying to me about who "told her". I believe maybe one of my family members saw me, possibly my dad and told her, since she refuses to say who it was, and is clearly holding them with more loyalty than her own daughter.

4. I am so grateful for all of your responses here! I am mainly just hurt because while I understand that she won't agree with what I do, she treated me as sub-human, and hasn't talked to me since then (I'm choosing to not reach out to her until she's ready). I know she's lying to me, and she has placed someone else on a higher priority list than her own child, her ONLY child.
I know this is something I want to do, and love doing it, so again, thank you all for the support!

 

[Deleted member 37064]

3. I TOTALLY believe my mom is lying to me about who "told her". I believe maybe one of my family members saw me, possibly my dad and told her, since she refuses to say who it was, and is clearly holding them with more loyalty than her own daughter.

4. I am so grateful for all of your responses here! I am mainly just hurt because while I understand that she won't agree with what I do, she treated me as sub-human, and hasn't talked to me since then (I'm choosing to not reach out to her until she's ready). I know she's lying to me, and she has placed someone else on a higher priority list than her own child, her ONLY child.
I know this is something I want to do, and love doing it, so again, thank you all for the support!

I would not be concerned too much about whom it is, as there could be a number of reasons why she is doing so. None of which really matters. Sometimes, that information is best held privately so as to avoid additional complications within family/friend dynamics which may explain the complexity of "loyalty" as you see it. Sometimes, "loyalty" is not as black and white as one may think they should be. Same as with how one perceives the reactions and situations we find ourselves in.