Say Goodbye or Ghost?

[Jay_Storm]

Okay, weird (and probably dumb question): if a regular user decides to quit frequenting cam sites, would you like them to say goodbye or do you never think about users?

Context (maybe too much info):

I joined CB maybe 18 months ago and first bought tokens last March. Over the past couple of months I decided a year was enough and I would probably find something else to do with my time. So my idea is to leave this coming March.

At this point I visit four models pretty regularly from everyday for one (I am her mod) to once a week on the other end. We also chat offline with the same frequency: every day to once a week or so.

As a model would you expect me to say goodbye or just delete my accounts and socials and disappear? Would you care?

Other users: what would you do?

 

[cbhours]

Say goodbye, whats the worst that can happen

 

[NotYou]

If you're a regular and genuinely get on with them then give them a brief explanation and goodbye like you have here.

 

[Smoothie]

Other users: what would you do?

If it were me, I’d definitely say goodbye and give a brief explanation to the model you moderate for. No harm in saying goodbye to them all, if you think they’d want to know.

If and when I leave, I’ll say goodbye to the models I’ve talked to and visited for a long time and “ghost” the others.

 

[rockin_rod]

Personally, I'd always say goodbye and the reason why I was leaving.
It may not make much difference to an experienced model, since people come and go all the time.
But to me it's a social courtesy - and especially if you mod/knight, then you are already closer than a reg or infrequent visitor.

BUT:
Once you decide to go, leave and don't keep returning 'just one more time'.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Yes I agree with what others have said. I think it's fine to make it known that you are leaving, but it becomes an annoyance if it turns into a cycle. That makes it seem like a manipulation.

 

[CheeseMoon]

Since you are a mod and chat offline, I think you should give them proper goodbyes and perhaps an explanation. It's the polite thing to do after spending so much time with them.
But as @rockin_rod says; when you leave, leave. Popping up three weeks later could be pretty awkward after your goodbyes.

 

[Smoothie]

Personally, I'd always say goodbye and the reason why I was leaving.
It may not make much difference to an experienced model, since people come and go all the time.
But to me it's a social courtesy - and especially if you mod/knight, then you are already closer than a reg or infrequent visitor.

BUT:
Once you decide to go, leave and don't keep returning 'just one more time'.

I am fully on board with the social courtesy thing.

I’d also add that if I have a way - social media or email, for example - to say goodbye without doing it while they’re working, I might go that route. Just to avoid interrupting the model at work and making it about me.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I joined CB maybe 18 months ago and first bought tokens last March. Over the past couple of months I decided a year was enough and I would probably find something else to do with my time. So my idea is to leave this coming March.

At this point I visit four models pretty regularly from everyday for one (I am her mod) to once a week on the other end. We also chat offline with the same frequency: every day to once a week or so.

As a model would you expect me to say goodbye or just delete my accounts and socials and disappear? Would you care?

Yes, as a model, I would definitely prefer that a regular tell me goodbye rather than just disappear.

 

[virginiaColor]

This is one of the worst situations... this will say goodbye...

 

[cutechica]

Okay, weird (and probably dumb question): if a regular user decides to quit frequenting cam sites, would you like them to say goodbye or do you never think about users?

Context (maybe too much info):

I joined CB maybe 18 months ago and first bought tokens last March. Over the past couple of months I decided a year was enough and I would probably find something else to do with my time. So my idea is to leave this coming March.

At this point I visit four models pretty regularly from everyday for one (I am her mod) to once a week on the other end. We also chat offline with the same frequency: every day to once a week or so.

As a model would you expect me to say goodbye or just delete my accounts and socials and disappear? Would you care?

Other users: what would you do?

I am a model and my regular tipper has to leave too he gave me a heads up it is better to Inform than to ghost.

 

[veggiebabyy]

I definitely prefer that my regs say goodbye if they're leaving. I do start to wonder where they went and if they're okay if I'm used to them showing up for most of my shows and then they disappear.

 

[Mel1]

Say goodbye , be nice. Womans don’t like ghosts.

 

[EvelynDeFierce]

Okay, weird (and probably dumb question): if a regular user decides to quit frequenting cam sites, would you like them to say goodbye or do you never think about users?

Context (maybe too much info):

I joined CB maybe 18 months ago and first bought tokens last March. Over the past couple of months I decided a year was enough and I would probably find something else to do with my time. So my idea is to leave this coming March.

At this point I visit four models pretty regularly from everyday for one (I am her mod) to once a week on the other end. We also chat offline with the same frequency: every day to once a week or so.

As a model would you expect me to say goodbye or just delete my accounts and socials and disappear? Would you care?

Other users: what would you do?

Since you talk so often, I'd def say goodbye versus ghost. I mean when it comes down to it, it's fully your choice, and either way is okay. But, goodbye gives more of an "ending"

 

[Life_Happens]

Agree with all of that ^ , but especially now with the pandemic. They may worry you got very sick, or even worse. So def give them a heads up, IMO.

 

[rockin_rod]

You know, having already replied, I'm just going to ask about your motivation for walking away.
If it is around preventing addiction, getting out IRL more, or for financial reasons etc, then good for you for having the courage and resolve to leave.
But if you just set yourself an arbitrary 12-month timeframe, and you're still enjoying your online time, and spending to budget, is there any harm in continuing to enjoy and support your favourite models?
Not expecting any response, just gently inquiring as to motive

 

[Finchomatic]

You know, having already replied, I'm just going to ask about your motivation for walking away.
If it is around preventing addiction, getting out IRL more, or for financial reasons etc, then good for you for having the courage and resolve to leave.
But if you just set yourself an arbitrary 12-month timeframe, and you're still enjoying your online time, and spending to budget, is there any harm in continuing to enjoy and support your favourite models?
Not expecting any response, just gently inquiring as to motive

For some it's wanting to escape the rabbit hole before spiraling down it any further. It's not the ops case, but for some it's ....... What am I doing?

 

[Jay_Storm]

You know, having already replied, I'm just going to ask about your motivation for walking away.

It is somewhat arbitrary. Originally I thought I would be gone when I stopped working from home. That was last June. Then I just kept thinking I would leave. Then I decided a year: March.

Even March might come and go. Turns out the model I mod for just told me she is leaving CB soon. So maybe I will stick around until she leaves.

Before I found this forum I was on Reddit and was shocked by the amount of contempt models there have for users. We are all tricks to be fleeced. So I have my guard up a little even with those who are kind to me. Thus the initial question.

Here everyone seems so much kinder and helpful. I wanted what I consider a healthier perspective.

I have always tried to treat models with respect and hope they have respect for me. While I love a good Irish Exit, I do feel I owe a few of these women a goodbye if and when I leave.

 

[rockin_rod]

It is somewhat arbitrary. Originally I thought I would be gone when I stopped working from home. That was last June. Then I just kept thinking I would leave. Then I decided a year: March.

Even March might come and go. Turns out the model I mod for just told me she is leaving CB soon. So maybe I will stick around until she leaves.

Before I found this forum I was on Reddit and was shocked by the amount of contempt models there have for users. We are all tricks to be fleeced. So I have my guard up a little even with those who are kind to me. Thus the initial question.

Here everyone seems so much kinder and helpful. I wanted what I consider a healthier perspective.

I have always tried to treat models with respect and hope they have respect for me. While I love a good Irish Exit, I do feel I owe a few of these women a goodbye if and when I leave.

Well said. IDK about reddit, I don't spend any time there.
I've been a bit curious myself about how long I will continue doing this. I've read many posts by models describing how common burnout is, and can only imagine how hard it can be sometimes to push through that. But I also wonder about a mini version of that feeling for some users too; maybe there's no need for a phrase, just that sometimes you need to step away for a while, or for good.
I've been supporting a model who I consider to be a good friend for years now, and have probably averaged the same hours per week in her room as a typical day job would involve - and that's in addition to my own day job.
Anyway, I'll give it up when it stops being more fun than not.

All the best whatever you decide to do!

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

But I also wonder about a mini version of that feeling for some users too

I think it makes perfect sense that a similar experience could be had from the other side of the screen. When you develop any sort of interpersonal relationship that is valuable to you in some way, that you have put effort into maintaining, it tracks that you would feel a wax and wane of available energy for those kinds of interactions. As performers, I think it's common to want the ability to flip the energy expenditure on/off switch online, I don't see why you wouldn't feel it on the other side.

It's like you said, if it's still fun then enjoy! But when it stops feeling like fun for whatever reason, it may be time to reconsider where you are allocating your time and energy. It's not your job to show up, and y'all have to take care of yourselves and your lives. We are entertainers. Entertainment should add to your enjoyment of your time, not take away from it.

 

[Smoothie]

I think it makes perfect sense that a similar experience could be had from the other side of the screen. When you develop any sort of interpersonal relationship that is valuable to you in some way, that you have put effort into maintaining, it tracks that you would feel a wax and wane of available energy for those kinds of interactions. As performers, I think it's common to want the ability to flip the energy expenditure on/off switch online, I don't see why you wouldn't feel it on the other side.

It's like you said, if it's still fun then enjoy! But when it stops feeling like fun for whatever reason, it may be time to reconsider where you are allocating your time and energy. It's not your job to show up, and y'all have to take care of yourselves and your lives. We are entertainers. Entertainment should add to your enjoyment of your time, not take away from it.

Agreed. It’s like anything else, really. Even if something is enjoyable, there will be times when you’re burnt out or just not feeling it, and need a little break.

I like football but I don’t watch every game. I enjoy music, but sometimes it’s nice to have silence. Same with visiting cam models. There may come a time when I just need a day or week or month off from it. There may not be a specific reason or thing that triggered the break.

 

[CheeseMoon]

Entertainment should add to your enjoyment of your time, not take away from it.

So true. For me cam sites are a side dish. It's extra, it's the pleasant stuff on top and an indulgence.

Being a cam site member and hanging out in a few rooms as a lifestyle choice is not something I could or want to do, given my available time and the energy I have left after doing whatever else I *have* to do. I'm not going to pass judgement on those who do though, because in other circumstances I could see myself doing the same.

Different strokes for different people, I guess.

Perv responsibly!

 

[GraysonDrake]

I've had a few close regulars tell me they were quitting camsites or moving on to other things, and I always appreciated it. Like other models said if they ghost I wonder what happened to them and if they're okay.

 

[Horny_ali]

I would deffo say goodbye if they are people you talk to a lot then they will wonder where u have gone and if your ok.

 

[Jay_Storm]

I have decided to stick around for a while longer. The model I mod for has plans to move on and has asked me to stick around.

A couple of other models that I am close to are more offline friends at this point.