Reality check

[TeamMiztress]

You use your personal email for your camming/adult business?

I don't actually have a personal email as such. Just one linked to online grocery shopping, xbox and Oculus. It's also with a different email provider than my cam/web stuff so it'd be pretty hard to mistake the two.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I got found by my best friends boyfriend because one of my pirated videos got really popular and was on the front page of redtube, and he's a normal human male who watches internet porn. My Cam twitter has suggested my family members to me, and no I do not have any other twitter and all security measures short of having a private twitter locked down. Luckily no actual problems have ever come of it, and my best friend was already very aware of what I do.

The only way these could have been avoided was for me to not be a cam girl or to know no people outside of the internet. If you have never run into any issues, be grateful because it is a rarity in this biz whether you like it or not.
This thread is not an insult to performers or something to get defensive about. It is a big ol' dose of reality intended to help newbies entering the biz avoid a reality they may not be prepared for or able to handle.
If you never get found out, awesome... but chances are you will and if you want to be a teacher someday turn around and run away before you destroy your life dreams.

 

[TeamMiztress]

OK, I wasn't being defensive, just personal experience. I wouldn't really care if someone I knew found out, because of what I do, I keep myself to myself, I don't really socialize a lot and the small circle of friends I do have are all middle-aged women with children, who would probably skim over any thumbnail of my videos without paying attention (if they look at porn in the first place)

I now live in a different country than where I grew up and went to school, I also look completely different than I did back then. I think I did a pretty good job of limiting the chances of anybody I know in real life today in this area finding out what I do.

 

[MFCGod]

It's time and popularity isn't it

The longer you're a model and the more popular you are, it's more likely someone you know will see you

Also there are arseholes who will stalk you and send your family your model info and worse if you let slip any personal info

New models keep coming on sites with existing pictures and that's a big no no

 

[CreepyPasta]

I have seen my recordings and i personally couldn't give any less of a fuck if i tried. Everyone that is important to me in my life, i.e. parents, friends, boyfriend, pets (lol) knows what i do for money online. My parents simply told me it's not what they would have chosen for me, but to be the best and work hard if it's really what makes me happy. Hell, my mom even wants in on it, but only after i move out! Lol! I have enough confidence to just brush off what anyone thinks if it's not positive. I plan to own my own business so i'm not worried about jobs down the line. I also do not want kids. If i had them, when that age came, i would explain to them what i did if need be. Wake up society, sex work is the best work.

 

[GrungeBunny]

I had one of my regulars recently take a video of me while I was performing some cute spanks. He didn't tell me before he did it, and he shared it in my room so all other viewers saw it and had access to the link. I thought about getting upset, but I was WAY more flattered than anything else. He thought highly enough of me to capture me in a short gif forever that could be easily shared. He PM'd me to apologize when he realized it might be upsetting since I am fairly new, and I told him it was totally awesome, so he did a second longer one for me! :-D

Being a cam girl is honestly super awesome. I love my viewers and everything they do for me.

 

[KarlaKaress]

I'm sure my cousins or something will eventually come across my stuff... I have a large family so I'd be surprised if someone hadn't found something already.

 

[Rosy]

Other than potential embarrassment or family/friends being upset is there a reason to be so concerned with being found out?

Not trying to be obnoxious, I am having a hard time understanding the issue.

 

[Guy]

Other than potential embarrassment or family/friends being upset is there a reason to be so concerned with being found out?

Not trying to be obnoxious, I am having a hard time understanding the issue.

What if her parents disown her and never speak to her again?

 

[Rosy]

What if her parents disown her and never speak to her again?

So being found out is a predominantly social issue rather than a security or safety concern..

 

[Bobbie Madison]

Yea. It's inevitable that someone will find out. Can't think that it won't happen. Blocking your state is for other privacy tho. Like, you might not want to bump into the guy who was jacking off to you last night in c2c, the next morning at the grocery store. That could be a bit awkward, pleasant....or dangerous, you never know.

But it has always been like that even before the internet. You think everyone who bought a Playboy magazine kept it to themselves? No, they showed it to everyone at school or whatever. It's no big deal though, if you do this for you, and don't care what others think about you.

And that comes with this industry. You have to have thick skin. Period.

Finding yourself online though can help to up your game. Someone sent me a link of myself on pornhub and I sent it to a few of my guy friends to ask about the performance. I was a bit off my game that night. So now, I assume every show I'm putting my all into it so I look better when it's recorded lol.

And if you want to move up, like go hardcore after this, saving them links are free videos that you didn't take the time to record and could use it in your portfolio.

Gotta take the good with the bad you know

 

[Nikola Tesla]

What if her parents disown her and never speak to her again?

Then she will never have to deal with her unapproving parents again.

 

[MuffyMasters]

Other than potential embarrassment or family/friends being upset is there a reason to be so concerned with being found out?

Not trying to be obnoxious, I am having a hard time understanding the issue.

Employers too! I live in a somewhat conservative community. I have accepted the risks, but I could have some difficulties with finding/keeping employment in my field and my community if I was found out.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

Other than potential embarrassment or family/friends being upset is there a reason to be so concerned with being found out?

Not trying to be obnoxious, I am having a hard time understanding the issue.

Employers too! I live in a somewhat conservative community. I have accepted the risks, but I could have some difficulties with finding/keeping employment in my field and my community if I was found out.

Also children. Other families find out, it gets around school. Your kids then start getting teased or harassed at school, maybe even to the point of ostracization.

Been a few models on twitter whose children are having to deal with other parents and kids from the school knowing.

 

[Bobbie Madison]

Other than potential embarrassment or family/friends being upset is there a reason to be so concerned with being found out?

Not trying to be obnoxious, I am having a hard time understanding the issue.

Happy Birthday!!!

And some people might want to change their mind in the future. Like if you're in your early 20's a lot will change over time and you might not like camming anymore and then those videos will come back to haunt you. Also, if you want to switch to the 9 to 5, be a teacher, lawyer etc. when you finish school, there might be a social stigma and it'll be harder to get or keep those kinds of jobs.

I did my research well before I started this and I suggest most other models should too. I was recorded when I first first first started, like not even more than 10 hours on cam. A close friend showed me the link. Of course, most of my friends and family know, and the person who sent me the link knew already too and we just laughed about it. And then there was the constructive criticism because I do want to get better at this.

But that's not the case for every cam girl. To some they want it to be a temporary thing, some extra money while in school or this fun thing they explored years ago. And to many others, it's our career. And I could see why the career gals would sometimes get upset if a pvt show was recorded and distributed too. Same reason why Bey sometimes gets upset when ppl try to leak her new hits.

 

[AlluraBelle]

Hey, I've told my immediate family and close friends about my work and even my hope that it becomes a true career (pictures, video, using my profits for investments down the road, etc.) - yet this post was still thought provoking. I appreciate the fact that it caused me to stop, truly consider my choices again, and decide to continue on with more consciousness that I DO, in fact, need to go ahead and begin bracing myself.

 

[Val Vega]

Sex work is pretty much the only thing I'm good for, so I don't care if people know. It is who I am and if they can't accept it, that's their problem. I'm proud of being a sex worker and the opportunities it has provided where I had none before.

In other words, fuck the haters and prudes.

 

[Bobbie Madison]

Sex work is pretty much the only thing I'm good for, so I don't care if people know. It is who I am and if they can't accept it, that's their problem. I'm proud of being a sex worker and the opportunities it has provided where I had none before.

In other words, fuck the haters and prudes.

Fuck yes! You're a boss.

I say the same thing, that this is for me. Like, I used to do what is now considered a "Skype show" for random guys I met on the internet just for fun. Then I hear I could get paid for this? There was no turning back from that. They say anyway do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life right? Something like that.

 

[AlluraBelle]

Fuck yes! You're a boss.

I say the same thing, that this is for me. Like, I used to do what is now considered a "Skype show" for random guys I met on the internet just for fun. Then I hear I could get paid for this? There was no turning back from that. They say anyway do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life right? Something like that.

Amen! Get that money! I had the same thoughts on sugaring when I was doing that.

 

[babyfaceforever]

This is something I've been thinking on a bit, and just wanted to attempt to articulate it.

In terms of stigma, it seems to me like there would be fewer (or less severe) social implications if someone was discovered doing sex work IF the work is a means to an end (for example, camming to pay for school, etc.)
While the sex work will likely be shamed anyway, the haters are way more vocal and cruel to people who are in sex work because they love it, want to do it, and strive for a career in it.

I'm saying this as a girl who considers camming a means to an end, versus the end itself, but I think that we all need to band together to work against the stigma. Some people work as babysitters to make some extra income, and others work as babysitters because their goal is to make a career in childcare. Neither one is shameful, is it?

So tl;dr or whatever, let's support each other?

Sex work is pretty much the only thing I'm good for, so I don't care if people know. It is who I am and if they can't accept it, that's their problem. I'm proud of being a sex worker and the opportunities it has provided where I had none before.

In other words, fuck the haters and prudes.

 

[Vivi_Amante]

My 2 cents:
The best defense here is to make sure you only produce stuff you're comfortable with. Everyone in my life knows about it. My son thinks I run a geek chat room and have an online store. H'es 10. I made sure that I made a list of my "hard no's", stuff I won't do. If I'm uncomfortable watching it, I don't put it out there. That's the beauty of being your own producer!

 

[ToxicLust]

It doesn't really bother me that people will find out, I've told all the important people in my life. As for kids I have one not a year old yet. I'm sure they will see it at some point, but you know what I'd say to my kids, oh your not happy with what I've done? Okay I'll be taking everything you own back now. You know sense it paid for your stuff.

 

[Viciousfeline]

Local authorities... huh now i feel stupid can i be arrested for being a cam ghirl!
...what!?

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Local authorities... huh now i feel stupid can i be arrested for being a cam ghirl!
...what!?

Depends on your country. The infamous Mila Milan arrest for camming was in Thailand. Generally the areas that are anti-porn and you would pretty much know if it was illegal since the site itself would possibly be blocked. The only time I've seen girls get in trouble for camming in the us is when they did it in a public place

 

[goldmouthbitch]

A girlfriend I had blocked our location but still had someone recognize her like almost right away it was weird. Hopefully she was small time enough to not have anything still up because even though I told her "if youre gonna do this you have to own it so hard that there's nothing that can be said about it. Remove the shame from it" but meh

 

[FaeHeart]

When I first started camming I read this post and it gave me a lot of thinking to do. I still have fears, but I've come to terms with a lot of things. Like, people in my life know what I do now, so nobody can use it against me. Coming to terms with this was a struggle but it was worth it and made me really think about what I want. I don't want kids, so that won't be an issue, and my family is all pretty sex positive and supportive of sex workers so I will always have them as support even if something happened.

Thanks for the post. It made me think about so much and I'm glad I found it.

 

[Vladlenka]

Eh... you see people putting themselves out there online in a similar light on Instagram and they are doing it for free (with their social circle in real life added to their profile to boot) - lol.
I thought long and hard about all of the mentioned points - but decided to proceed to join the cam-world regardless. The people who matter to me in life would not judge nor think any less of me and those that would judge or think less of me are not people who matter.
I thought about how it may effect me in the future career-wise, and that does not pose an issue either. I have no plans of going into a field where I need a squeaky clean image.
I find it quite sad that some have been fired or warned at their vanilla job over being a part of this industry. If you are a stand up employee, you are a stand up employee at that place of work. Dats dat folks

 

[John117mcpo]

I find it quite sad that some have been fired or warned at their vanilla job over being a part of this industry.

I've heard that this does sometimes happen, so a performer should be prepared to take ownership of her art. With talent, work, and winning personality, she could go on to reach the highest ranks of the profession, limited only by her willingness to branch out into other media. Soon enough the intolerant former employers can be the ones sad for their loss.

 

[Vladlenka]

I've heard that this does sometimes happen, so a performer should be prepared to take ownership of her art. With talent, work, and winning personality, she could go on to reach the highest ranks of the profession, limited only by her willingness to branch out into other media. Soon enough the intolerant former employers can be the ones sad for their loss.

Oh, most definitely. I believe that although someone may be in the adult industry, whether it be camming or another form of legal adult work, they should not be reprimanded at their vanilla job if found out or stumbled upon. There are many women and men in the adult industry who have skills, talents, intelligence far past that of their talent for adult entertainment. If one is a good employee, they are a good employee and if you present yourself in an appropriate to your vanilla-job standard, there should not be an issue. I understand a squeaky-clean image being of importance as many places do not want someone who may or may not take it up the butt on cam representing their brand or company, but is it really relevant if you are doing your job while at work and what is asked of you to the nines? Why is sexuality frowned upon when it's typically a prominent part of one's day-to-day life? It's not like one is going to walk into their vanilla job cleavage out, sexual innuendos ready to go, banana in-tow set to be peeled slow motion come lunch.
I worked one job where my manager blatantly would not invite individuals for interviews based on their appearance upon googling/FB-creeping. He would straight up say he had a girl coming in because she looked good in her FB profile picture, or he was not giving one a call back because they did not look the part, etc. Ha. A bit different and off-topic but potential employers will totally google the shit out of you. Here's the thing though - there will always be another job. It may take time, but if you put in consistent effort, effort does not go unnoticed. Although one may have looked at you and your history in a negative light, another may see potential and judge based on capability for the job at hand.

 

[Sevrin]

Although one may have looked at you and your history in a negative light, another may see potential and judge based on capability for the job at hand.

That could happen. What could also happen is that the prospective employer might think a former sex-worker will be sexually adventurous.