Private Messages - Friends Only or Open?

[Jessi]

I am having a hard time deciding whether to have my private messages "friends only" or not. I used to have it set to friends only but recently I have had it open. I am having a hard time deciding which option to stick with & I'm finding pros and cons to each. I have a pretty thorough FAQ on my profile so I'm unsure if its necessary to have it open for people who want private and it can get so distracting/built up if you ignore it.

Models: Do you have your PMs locked or open and why do you prefer your choice?
Members: Are you less likely to take a girl private if her PMs are set to friends only?

 

[PlayboyMegan]

First night on MFC I let anyone PM. I had around 15 PM's. I was soooo overwhelmed. I didn't know how anything worked, people were writing me in my room, PM's popping up everywhere, ect. I had to make it a friends only thing. I wasn't able to give my room the attention they deserved. Plus over half the PM's were things like "Hi" "How are you?" They were things they could have easily said in free chat.

 

[Nordling]

Even as a member, I prefer that models do a "friends only" for PMS. One model who I liked a lot I quit going to her room because she spent about 90% of her time talking in PMs. lol Even when talking to her in PMs she was talking in PMs with half a dozen other people.

I only know of one model who was able to do that successfully--AmbrosialCer--but I haven't seen her online in weeks.

 

[NoelleBright]

I did an experiment a couple of months ago where I allowed everyone to PM me, just to see if it would positively affect my income and gain me more regulars. It didn't accomplish anything other than generally putting me in a foul mood. Most of what I got PMed were either things that could have been typed in public chat, gibberish, or guys with 0 tokens trying to get me to dirty talk them in PM for free, then getting their panties in a bunch when I didn't reply to their "mmmm bb ass ass ass u horny?" messages.
I put all guys who purchase anything/take me private/tip on my friends list, and I'll also add guys who are in my room frequently who contribute to the overall atmosphere and talk-even if they can't afford to tip.
I also tell people that once they're on there, there's no guarantee they will stay. I clear out my list once a month of people I haven't seen or heard from in a long time, or guys that I just plain can't remember.
Even then I -rarely- communicate in PMs. I just use it to send videos or with regs that I'm really close with when something is too personal to say in public. I'm REALLY chatty and urge guys to talk to me in public, there's nothing more boring that watching a girl clacking away at her keyboard answering PM after PM.

 

[Jessi]

Thanks peoples . Im glad Im not the only one fed up with the "youre hot bb" messages. I am too inclined to turn the annoying PMs into friendly lessons on ettiquette- which ends up wasting even more of my time AND THEY NEVER EVER LEARN.
I will be setting friends only and adding as I see fit

 

[LacieLaPlante]

I keep PMs open because otherwise miss a lot of stuff I feel.. Like, I like when dudes PM me before private so we can discuss. I wouldn't want to add every guy who I would potentially go to private with to my friends list.

I close any PM immediately that starts with "hi bb youre sexy" and doesn't get to the point.. what do you actually want from me. I told my regulars that PMs are for private matters only and to keep all conversation in public unless its HONESTLY private and that's worked out. Yes I have an insane bar of 20-40PMs at the end of the night if I don't close the PMs, but if I am on top of it it's not a big deal.

Every once in a while I'll say "If you PMed me and all you said was HELLO or only PMed me for conversation, I'm not going to respond. Please send the rest of your question/message if you'd like a response" Just incase some dude actually had a point but was waiting for me to respond before getting to it.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

mine are open.

I read and type fast. I know im not always perfect at it and will get stuck in pms' sometimes. I try not to.

I ignore anything that isn't a regular tipper, or a direct "how much should I tip for" "do you do x in private"

I am short and to the point when discussing stuff.

if they go "DO U SEE MY PM BB" and i open it and its 'hi hru?"

I tell them aloud that if they have something that is TRULY somethin the room shouldnt read, a question etc tehn I'll reply but that I dont make small talk in pvt.

 

[MadisonLeigh]

I used to keep mine friends only all the time, but lately I've been keeping them open if I'm taking privates. If I have them friends only and someone says they want to ask me about a video or something, I'll just add them real quick and answer their question and then delete them. Having them open is kinda annoying but I have gotten some privates and video sales out of it that I don't think I would have gotten otherwise.

 

[LittleLezboUK]

This is a really good topic, somthing I have always struggled with, I have had them open for a few months now, cant remember who said this but often guys dont know what to ask so they do start with the 'hi hru' stuff and the 'where are you from, how old are you?' bit it only takes me seconds to answer it and it could lead to them getting to the point so I often do ONLY if my room ISNT too busy. I think I would defiantly miss out on some of my income if I didnt have them open. I do hate the 'bb wanna see my 9" on cam har 4u bb'? Some also talk to you like they are gunna take a private 'what do you do?' 'do you do this'? 'have you got...' and we talk for ages about in PM and they dont actualy want it at all they just wanna talk to you in PM lols. but I suppose these things come with trying to sell anything and at the end of the day that's what we are all trying to do.

xxx

 

[ComicOzzie]

As a member, being in a silent room while the model is banging away on her keyboard responding to endless PMs is a very good reason to leave.

 

[LilyMarie]

As a member, being in a silent room while the model is banging away on her keyboard responding to endless PMs is a very good reason to leave.

Yes. I was very close to being exactly that kind of model that when I first started, because I left my PMs open for everyone. And I can't just do what Lacie does and not respond to certain PMs, even though it would be a lot easier. For some reason I find it hard not to respond to every little "hru bb" with a "fine, thanks" :roll:

Most people who PMed me when it was open for everyone only wanted to see stuff for free.

Now it's 50 tokens to be my friend... Anyone who can't scrape together 50 tokens doesn't really want to talk to me privately, anyway.
I also add everyone as a friend who seems serious about wanting to take me private, so that we can discuss the private in PM first.

 

[SoTxBob]

Most of the girls I am friends with left them open at first when they started caming. After they had a bit of following, they closed them [with plenty of explanation] and made it only regulars.. [NOT the pay for friends list thing.]
The regs knew enough to keep the hi BB shit in chat and used the pm for more private 'necessary' stuff.
Of course, every day there are the walk-ins that get bent BC they cant pm to say hi or whatever.. oh well. If they tip and stick around, they will be able to. :roll:
The times they are 'shy' and feel the need to pm to ask about a pvt, if they have the stats showing, they are let in and then usually removed after the questions are answered.

As said, I have also seen many a room die BC the girl is mired ass deep in pm's that should have been chat talk. Most figure this out pretty quick, but some don't and end up way down the list with no income or any worthwhile regs.....

 

[Loslonelyboy]

To answer the original post, I wouldn't go private with a model unless I am a regular in her room who I am comfortable with so being on her friends list would be likely. I would think the pm's being open to everyone would become very taxing on a model!

As far as being in a room where a model is constantly typing away in pm's, I will usually say goodnight and go elsewhere! That is one of my biggest peeves is when I am in a room chatting away trying to talk to a model and she is totally ignoring chat and looks up every 30 seconds or so and starts responding very quickly with what she thinks is going on! I know it is kind of off topic but it annoys me!

 

[RogueWarrior]

Mostly what Loslonelyboy said.

Personally I don't even attempt to PM unless I get a PM from the model fisrt. Most of my comments are perfectly suited for public chat. If I do have something that I want to keep private, tip notes work pretty well. Then I leave it to the model how she wants to follow up.

 

[Anonymous]

Models: Do you have your PMs locked or open and why do you prefer your choice?

I have my pm's set to friends list only, otherwise guys will abuse the feature and pm you damn near every thought that enters their heads.

"Mmmmm bb"
"You are so fucking hot."
"What a nigga gotta do to get behind dat ass?"
"Paypal for Skype?"

:lol:


On a cam site where models work hard to keep guys' attention and maintain a good cam score, I just find it inconsiderate for a guy to pm models bullshit messages that could be said in public chat or even MFC Mail. And being a good tipper doesn't mean you can hog the model's attention with a bunch of pointless pm's. I deleted a good tipper before for bugging me with pm's. He was like "But I don't wanna talk to the other dudes in here...I wanna talk to you." :roll: So then talk to me in private chat or Skype if you require my one-on-one attention...DUH!

 

[Jessi]

This is all great. You guys are totally right, the guys who are really worth your while aren't going to care if your PMs are open...they're decent enough people to stick around and chat in public anyways.

The straw that broke the camel's back was last night. Semi related to this and the "Things Members say" thread...

I had a guy send me a big wall of text in PM. I went to check it, and it was all "hey" "ignoring me? "hello" "Hellooooo?!"
Me: I cant focus on PM right now, please talk in public unless you want to ask about PM
Him I just want to talk *insert about being colorblind and unable to read the public chat*
Me: I'm sorry to hear that. I can't really turn attention away from my public chat to focus on someone who isnt contributing to the room.
Him: Well I just want to get to know you better!
Me: Honestly, most of the regulars who get to know models participate in their room and do shows with them.
Him: I really want to take you private
Me: Okay, Im ready when you are then
Him: I'll have tokens next week I promise. I just want to get to know you first
Me: Google "colorblind" schemes for your OS and browser and Im sure you'll find MFC a lot more fun. Or perhaps try adultfriendfinder or okcupid. I'm making my chat friends only now.

This is all approximate, not real quotes. In reality the convo was a lot longer ("what music you like, where do you live etc") which I mostly ignored.
Lesson learned. This is a great example of how I feel obligated to make a "teachable moment" and it wastes a lot more of my time. This guy probably didnt care about what I had to say, and if his story was true he should have at least helped my countdown if he needed me to make a special effort to communicate with him (neglecting my room in the process) or watch politely and keep to himself. :handgestures-salute:

 

[JickyJuly]

If I do have something that I want to keep private, tip notes work pretty well. Then I leave it to the model how she wants to follow up.

I wish more dudes were this polite!

 

[MystiRose]

And I can't just do what Lacie does and not respond to certain PMs, even though it would be a lot easier. For some reason I find it hard not to respond to every little "hru bb" with a "fine, thanks" :roll:

I used to work in a call center where I had to fill out a lot of repetitive info on customer profiles during each call. To make the process easier I kept notepad or MS word open with the pre-filled responses so it was as easy as Copy (ctrl+c) and Paste (ctrl+v) from the list. I recently remembered the technique and have considered using it to respond to the abundance of PMs in my room. Since I'm still new and trying to build a good customer base I don't want to ignore any potential big tippers but I also can't afford to compromise the quality of the show for the already good tippers by clacking away in PMs.

 

[Remykins]

I keep them open, however I ignore anything like "mmmmmm", "watch my cam bb" etc, which constitutes for like 60% of my PM's so its not like I'm overwhelmed with answering the decent PM's.

 

[CommonAnomaly]

As a premium I have my list set to friends only. Normally if I start watching a model or enter her room for more than a few minutes I will add her. I know its not nearly as bad for me as it is for models, but anyone that's been in a room with me when I am chatting that I can get chatty and silly. Oftentimes I will respond to a question that's obviously for the model as if it were asked to the room in general. Until I set it to friends only I would get PMs asking if I was a chick or untrue vulgar statements about my sexuality. That stops being fun after a few months, especially because, if I remember correctly, basics can pm us. I also permamute guests and basics on my browser. Guests aren't real people and basics are only 3/5ths of a person.

For models I think its a great idea to only allow friends, though I personally refuse to pay to be added to a friends list. If I'm not awesome enough to be your friend then no amount of tokens should change that. I'm different though. It's very very rare that I tip with a request and can't remember the last time I've allowed my tokens to contribute to a countdown. I also only pm to say hi if I'm absolutely certain that its welcome or if I have something legitimately private to say.

 

[Jupiter551]

I turned my PMs off the other day, just for a joke...it's now been about 4 days and I really don't feel like turning them on again lol

I think I'm going to send in a suggestion for a "favourites list" or something in addition to friends list. I usually have my PMs set to friends only, but there are a bunch of models on my friend list at any one time that are simply on there so I can see when they log in (maybe I just liked their "look"/boobs, and put them on there so I wouldn't forget to check them out later) but don't necessarily want them pming me as soon as I enter their room etc.

 

[FrecklesXxX]

I think I'm going to send in a suggestion for a "favourites list" or something in addition to friends list. I usually have my PMs set to friends only, but there are a bunch of models on my friend list at any one time that are simply on there so I can see when they log in (maybe I just liked their "look"/boobs, and put them on there so I wouldn't forget to check them out later) but don't necessarily want them pming me as soon as I enter their room etc.

It would be nice if they did what gmail chat does and allow users to sign in invisibly. But then again the lack of such an option on MFC encourages members to create more than one account, which then creates a greater vested interest, which is what the company profits on.

 

[LacieLaPlante]

And I can't just do what Lacie does and not respond to certain PMs, even though it would be a lot easier. For some reason I find it hard not to respond to every little "hru bb" with a "fine, thanks" :roll:

I used to work in a call center where I had to fill out a lot of repetitive info on customer profiles during each call. To make the process easier I kept notepad or MS word open with the pre-filled responses so it was as easy as Copy (ctrl+c) and Paste (ctrl+v) from the list. I recently remembered the technique and have considered using it to respond to the abundance of PMs in my room. Since I'm still new and trying to build a good customer base I don't want to ignore any potential big tippers but I also can't afford to compromise the quality of the show for the already good tippers by clacking away in PMs.

This is a reeeeally good idea. I have copy-pasta messages for sending out videos, but I hadn't thought of it for PMs.

 

[Shaun__]

And I can't just do what Lacie does and not respond to certain PMs, even though it would be a lot easier. For some reason I find it hard not to respond to every little "hru bb" with a "fine, thanks" :roll:

I used to work in a call center where I had to fill out a lot of repetitive info on customer profiles during each call. To make the process easier I kept notepad or MS word open with the pre-filled responses so it was as easy as Copy (ctrl+c) and Paste (ctrl+v) from the list. I recently remembered the technique and have considered using it to respond to the abundance of PMs in my room. Since I'm still new and trying to build a good customer base I don't want to ignore any potential big tippers but I also can't afford to compromise the quality of the show for the already good tippers by clacking away in PMs.

This is a reeeeally good idea. I have copy-pasta messages for sending out videos, but I hadn't thought of it for PMs.

:shock: Damn I should have know this PM was to good to be true. I thought I was special. :icon-cry:

Dear BB,
This PM is to inform you that I do love your adjective noun and would love to verb it. I would also like to express interest in having your noun adjective (in/over/on/between) my location. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Sincerely name

 

[LaceyRoyce]

you can also set an automated response in your pm settings.

Unfortunately it will pop up EVERYTIME the person says something (including people you actually like/respond to).

i've used this during shower shows etc "I'm clearly in the shower getting wet and will respond to pms when i get out! If its important - ask in chat! Thanks"

 

[LacieLaPlante]

:shock: Damn I should have know this PM was to good to be true. I thought I was special. :icon-cry:

Dear BB,
This PM is to inform you that I do love your adjective noun and would love to verb it. I would also like to express interest in having your noun adjective (in/over/on/between) my location. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Sincerely name

Hahhaha. I mostly meant for those guys who just say MMMMM BB.. I copy pasta PM to say "Please keep conversation in public chat so I don't leave people out, if you have a question or something seriously private to talk about let me know." So that I don't miss actual messages from dudes who were waiting for a response. I suppose I could throw the auto-reply up! Forgot about that. But it would be annoying after the first message.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I only recently closed PMs to friends only. They were just getting so out of control and starting to affect my mood. I paid attention for one week to see if a single PM from a random person actually made me tokens and it did not. I no longer like to go private with random people, at least not very often anyway. When I first replaced my day job with an MFC shift I took every random private I could get just to stay afloat, so I needed those PMs. I had them open for over a year and find that now I don't get as easily irritated on slower days. 15 skype bb pms in 20 minutes gets really fucking old quick when you already aren't making your goal. I think closing them to friends only was the best move I've made in a while. Plus I don't charge for friends add so I don't HAVE to add anyone, just people I like.

 

[JerMajesty]

The last few days ..well a week now .. almost all my pms are either disappointing, depressing or both...

Think im gonna try to set it to friends only or No pms at all if this keeps up...

 

[ComicOzzie]

More and more of my model friends are having this type of conversation in free chat...

Random Bloob: How do I get on your friend's list, bb?
Model: By becoming my friend.

 

[innesx]

Friends only. But I put people on my friends list as long as they tip once. That way I know they are legitimate. If they tip once, like 10 tokens, I'll put them on my friends list. That's all they need to do if they want to chat.
If I had more people in my room and therefore more friends on MFC then I would make it a higher tip, like must be 50 tokens for friends list.

A lot of people who message are just freeloaders anyway. Freeloaders/beggars who just talk to me and will never buy anything. Annoying!