Need model advice stuck between a rock and a hard place

[CanadianCowboy]

Looking for honest advice from any models, I was blessed to have a very well paying job for the last 5 years, I got arthritis at 21, mostly due to working said job and have been in extreme pain for the last 2 years (I'm 24). I came to the realization today that I don't think I can do this much longer. I have been supporting one model exclusively for the last 4 years, spending on average $2000-$2500 per month. How should I go about telling her? Do I just drop off the face of the planet? Any advice is really appreciated.

 

[DoD404]

Send her a link to this thread :/

 

[AriAngel]

All you should have to do is tell her. Dropping off the face of the earth might make her worried. She should understand, and if she doesn't then maybe she's not the best model to support anyway.

 

[JessicaXOXOXO]

Don't disappear! Just tell her the truth and then do what is best for you. I hate when a regular customer ghosts me!

 

[thinkinboutit]

I wouldn't be offended if a member had to curb their spending because of something like that.
If you need to step away completely, then I'm sure she would understand & appreciate you letting her know instead of just disappearing.

 

[cbhours]

I have been supporting one model exclusively for the last 4 years, spending on average $2000-$2500 per month.

You should definitely tell her asap so shes aware of the situation.

 

[MarieElise]

I would definitely mention it, since it's been so long, and you are paying her a large amount.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Be honest, and tell her you won’t be able to do it anymore. If she throws a fit, so be it.

I recently gave up visiting cam sites entirely and told themodels I was a regular of. Most were bummed, some cold and others kind of rude. To be expected. If any of them stay in contact with me after the tips Stopped, I will consider myself lucky to have maintained some level of friendship with them

 

[CanadianCowboy]

All you should have to do is tell her. Dropping off the face of the earth might make her worried. She should understand, and if she doesn't then maybe she's not the best model to support anyway.

I told her this morning, was promptly deleted off snapchat and blocked in her chatroom. Disappointed but a lesson learned I suppose. Thanks for the advice

 

[CanadianCowboy]

Don't disappear! Just tell her the truth and then do what is best for you. I hate when a regular customer ghosts me!

I appreciate the advice! Told her this morning and was promptly deleted from snapchat and banned from her chatroom, a little disappointed but a lesson learned I suppose

 

[CanadianCowboy]

I wouldn't be offended if a member had to curb their spending because of something like that.
If you need to step away completely, then I'm sure she would understand & appreciate you letting her know instead of just disappearing.

Thanks for the advice, I told her this morning and it was not received well at all. A bit disappointed but it's a lesson learned I suppose

 

[Nigerian Prince]

Imagine being that ungrateful to someone who's spent thousands on you...

 

[JessicaXOXOXO]

Thanks for the advice, I told her this morning and it was not received well at all. A bit disappointed but it's a lesson learned I suppose

I am really sorry to hear that. All models are different. IMO, you still did the right thing.

 

[KristinKervz]

Thanks for the advice, I told her this morning and it was not received well at all. A bit disappointed but it's a lesson learned I suppose

I do not understand how she could be so cold. I was actually ghosted by a regular recently who I genuinely cared about. I would have really appreciated a goodbye, and wished him the best. I'm sorry this happened to you. I find it touching that you cared enough to seek advice to protect her feelings.

I'm not insulting anyone but I just don't understand the girls who see ONLY dollar signs in their regulars, and not human beings. I would absolutely hate my job if I didn't make genuine connections, however temporary they are.

 

[AudriTwo]

I told her this morning, was promptly deleted off snapchat and blocked in her chatroom. Disappointed but a lesson learned I suppose. Thanks for the advice

I'm sorry man. That's rough, but hey she took away any sort of temptation which should help with your savings! Some people are total assholes, please don't take anything personally.

 

[Mila_]

I do not understand how she could be so cold. I was actually ghosted by a regular recently who I genuinely cared about. I would have really appreciated a goodbye, and wished him the best. I'm sorry this happened to you. I find it touching that you cared enough to seek advice to protect her feelings.

I'm not insulting anyone but I just don't understand the girls who see ONLY dollar signs in their regulars, and not human beings. I would absolutely hate my job if I didn't make genuine connections, however temporary they are.

Let’s not jump to conclusions.. we don’t know how the conversation went or what exactly was said. It could have been a miscommunication. It would explain the ban and deletion.
I had a member I loved who supported me for years like this leave. But guess what? In the email he sent me he said my show had become boring to him and he wanted to make way for people who would be more excited. He then proceeded to express gratitude for my stream over the years, it was a warm and nice farewell couple of paragraphs and I could have replied but honestly calling my show boring and telling me he is not interested in it anymore felt like a cold dagger and I never replied. Sometimes I wonder where he is and how he is doing but I would never contact him after that email. A part of me thinks maybe he didn’t feel that way and was simply using it as an excuse to protect his ego (several reasons for that conclusion too long to post here) but the fact remains that he hurt my feelings and I didn’t ban him but I could have

 

[KristinKervz]

Let’s not jump to conclusions.. we don’t know how the conversation went or what exactly was said. It could have been a miscommunication. It would explain the ban and deletion.
I had a member I loved who supported me for years like this leave. But guess what? In the email he sent me he said my show had become boring to him and he wanted to make way for people who would be more excited. He then proceeded to express gratitude for my stream over the years, it was a warm and nice farewell couple of paragraphs and I could have replied but honestly calling my show boring and telling me he is not interested in it anymore felt like a cold dagger and I never replied. Sometimes I wonder where he is and how he is doing but I would never contact him after that email. A part of me thinks maybe he didn’t feel that way and was simply using it as an excuse to protect his ego (several reasons for that conclusion too long to post here) but the fact remains that he hurt my feelings and I didn’t ban him but I could have

I'm so sorry! It wasn't necessary of him to be so mean to you. In cowboy's case, I wasn't trying to jump to conclusions. True I don't have her side of the story and if I did, I'd hear her out. I'm just showing empathy for someone who's feeling down and says that he explained his health situation to her. I hope I didn't come off as a bully.

 

[Finchomatic]

It's weird how we get attached to people that deep down we really don't know, other than the text based image that we portrayed to each other.

@KristinKervz
The ghosting thing is brutal. I've met so many amazing people over the years in cam rooms only for them to disappear without a trace. Just to be left in the dark and totally clueless if they are even alive

 

[CanadianCowboy]

I do not understand how she could be so cold. I was actually ghosted by a regular recently who I genuinely cared about. I would have really appreciated a goodbye, and wished him the best. I'm sorry this happened to you. I find it touching that you cared enough to seek advice to protect her feelings.

I'm not insulting anyone but I just don't understand the girls who see ONLY dollar signs in their regulars, and not human beings. I would absolutely hate my job if I didn't make genuine connections, however temporary they are.

It really sucked but what's done is done, the money was never a big thing to me. I was making over six figures a year and was honestly just looking for somewhere to blow some money. Just think I earned at least a little bit of respect but maybe she has a good reason I just don't know about

 

[Deleted member 37064]

It really sucked but what's done is done, the money was never a big thing to me. I was making over six figures a year and was honestly just looking for somewhere to blow some money. Just think I earned at least a little bit of respect but maybe she has a good reason I just don't know about

I wouldn't put much thought into it really. Not to contradict what some of the models here have said. But, for many/most, it's only about the money. They interact because it's how they keep their members coming back to tip more. Some models play the GFE, others focus on who's tipping them the most and frequently. Not faulting the models, nor hating on them, as it's their business and I knew what I was getting into from the start.

In about a month of having left camming sites, nearly every one of the models have stopped communicating with me. A couple of them will send a brief message every so often just to say "Hi" and see how I'm doing. But, aside from that it's pretty sparse. Even the model I tipped the most no longer communicates with me. Again, I'm not hating on them, as it was to be expected. How she banned you, is extreme. But, again, not unheard of. Especially after hearing an earful from a model when I told her I was leaving.

Just look at it as a lesson learned, and move on. The more you try to think about it, the more it'll tear you up inside.

 

[Danigirl]

Ugh that sucks to have her respond like that. I’ve been ghosted by regulars who tipped amazing amounts. I’m thankful for everyone who tips but I have a special spot for those who are with me for a while and have supported my show. I have also been told that due to whatever situation they can’t continue and I completely understand that and more, I respect them so much for having the balls to say it. I worry about the tippers when they just don’t show up any more. Did I say something wrong? Did they no longer care for my show? Are they ok and alive? I have a few who have told me they can’t spend so much money anymore or are deleting their member profile on the site still on my Snapchat and I won’t take them off. They supported me and I support their decision to do what’s best for them. Only time I’m cold and a dick is if they’re an asshole first.

sorry about your arthritis! I probably have to have both knees replaced and it can be very painful to do some of the hiking that I love. Giving up dairy helped my inflammation though. Good luck!

 

[CanadianCowboy]

Ugh that sucks to have her respond like that. I’ve been ghosted by regulars who tipped amazing amounts. I’m thankful for everyone who tips but I have a special spot for those who are with me for a while and have supported my show. I have also been told that due to whatever situation they can’t continue and I completely understand that and more, I respect them so much for having the balls to say it. I worry about the tippers when they just don’t show up any more. Did I say something wrong? Did they no longer care for my show? Are they ok and alive? I have a few who have told me they can’t spend so much money anymore or are deleting their member profile on the site still on my Snapchat and I won’t take them off. They supported me and I support their decision to do what’s best for them. Only time I’m cold and a dick is if they’re an asshole first.

sorry about your arthritis! I probably have to have both knees replaced and it can be very painful to do some of the hiking that I love. Giving up dairy helped my inflammation though. Good luck!

Looking back I almost wish I had just dropped off the face of the earth. I think it's pretty apparent that I was nothing more than an atm to her. I think the main reason I'm upset is because she doesn't understand, I never told her the amount of pain I was in and how much I genuinely hated the job but suffered through it solely to help her get to a better spot in life

 

[JessicaXOXOXO]

I wouldn't put much thought into it really. Not to contradict what some of the models here have said. But, for many/most, it's only about the money. They interact because it's how they keep their members coming back to tip more. Some models play the GFE, others focus on who's tipping them the most and frequently. Not faulting the models, nor hating on them, as it's their business and I knew what I was getting into from the start.

In about a month of having left camming sites, nearly every one of the models have stopped communicating with me. A couple of them will send a brief message every so often just to say "Hi" and see how I'm doing. But, aside from that it's pretty sparse. Even the model I tipped the most no longer communicates with me. Again, I'm not hating on them, as it was to be expected. How she banned you, is extreme. But, again, not unheard of. Especially after hearing an earful from a model when I told her I was leaving.

Just look at it as a lesson learned, and move on. The more you try to think about it, the more it'll tear you up inside.

To be fair, I never out of the blue message my fans/customers. Even with soliciting. I’m too genuine and transparent but I can’t dictate time and energy to individual msgs. I’d go bonkers!!! I know on your end you’d love reach out. I just feel likeI’d be a bother. I personally always wait until a fan or customer reaches out to me to engage. Even my text subscribers.

 

[Danigirl]

I wouldn't put much thought into it really. Not to contradict what some of the models here have said. But, for many/most, it's only about the money. They interact because it's how they keep their members coming back to tip more. Some models play the GFE, others focus on who's tipping them the most and frequently. Not faulting the models, nor hating on them, as it's their business and I knew what I was getting into from the start.

In about a month of having left camming sites, nearly every one of the models have stopped communicating with me. A couple of them will send a brief message every so often just to say "Hi" and see how I'm doing. But, aside from that it's pretty sparse. Even the model I tipped the most no longer communicates with me. Again, I'm not hating on them, as it was to be expected. How she banned you, is extreme. But, again, not unheard of. Especially after hearing an earful from a model when I told her I was leaving.

Just look at it as a lesson learned, and move on. The more you try to think about it, the more it'll tear you up inside.

keep in mind most of the models on this forum are here because we care a fuckton about our business and are looking to improve it and get support. Those who tend to use people don’t do a ton of thought provoking research or bother to support anyone other than their own self. there are terrible people and users in every vocation and walk of life.

 

[MarieElise]

In about a month of having left camming sites, nearly every one of the models have stopped communicating with me. A couple of them will send a brief message every so often just to say "Hi" and see how I'm doing. But, aside from that it's pretty sparse. Even the model I tipped the most no longer communicates with me.

Yeah, just to chime in on this part, if it were me, I would be giving you space, out of consideration. I have had several regulars message me about leaving over the years, and I always wanna support them in that, by not putting a temptation out there, so I try not to bother them too much.

I also know some people, use camsites when single, but then not when starting a new relationship, so I try to pretty much leave old regulars alone too, out of respect of not potentially causing trouble in any relationship they may be building. Different relationships being different, in what they consider being unfaithful and all, and I wanna support them in whatever they are doing for themselves, which brings them happiness. If it makes you feel any better, I had a regular for years who I absolutely adored, and I never messaged him once, after he stopped getting shows. I literally cried (privately) on and off for months missing him though, and not in a sexual way, just interacting with him, after shows via message and such, because I thought he was such a fucking cool dude. But I want to respect the fact he chose to leave, and I could never know for sure, what his reasons really were (he told me he was joining the seminary, which may or may not have been true, technically not my business at all though). He always paid fairly, but him leaving had no ultimate effect on my bottom line, however, it did and does still affect my emotions. I never once saw the guy, I only ever heard his voice, and got to know his personality.

So Idk but some models could have a similar thought process, and be trying not to bother you/ encroach upon your personal mental, social, and emotional space.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

To be fair, I never out of the blue message my fans/customers. Even with soliciting. I’m too genuine and transparent but I can’t dictate time and energy to individual msgs. I’d go bonkers!!! I know on your end you’d love reach out. I just feel likeI’d be a bother. I personally always wait until a fan or customer reaches out to me to engage. Even my text subscribers.

A few of the models messaged me first frequently prior to my leaving. A few would carry on full conversations, etc. as well. These are the ones I was primarily referring to that have more or less stopped communication, and when I sent a quick message of just saying "Hi" with a quick message either got a short/cold response or read only no response. I'm typically a lot like you, in that I don't want to be a both and rarely message people. Not only models. But, family, friends, coworkers, etc. If it's not important, I generally do not initiate contact because there's really nothing to say.

Again, this is not faulting them, or being mad because of this. It's just an observation of a change in their behaviour since I stopped visiting the room. I anticipated most of them doing this, and the couple who still stay in contact with, I'm thankful for.

keep in mind most of the models on this forum are here because we care a fuckton about our business and are looking to improve it and get support. Those who tend to use people don’t do a ton of thought provoking research or bother to support anyone other than their own self. there are terrible people and users in every vocation and walk of life.

Most definitely on the reasons why models are here as well as there being shitty people in all aspects of life, no argument there. Think of my comment to him as being more to the effect of "Save yourself the heartache, headache and tailspin of emotions by not trying to rationalize why she did it." It was a comment out of compassion based on personal experience when I went through a nasty divorce trying to rationalize why the ex did what she did.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Yeah, just to chime in on this part, if it were me, I would be giving you space, out of consideration. I have had several regulars message me about leaving over the years, and I always wanna support them in that, by not putting a temptation out there, so I try not to bother them too much.

I also know some people, use camsites when single, but then not when starting a new relationship, so I try to pretty much leave old regulars alone too, out of respect of not potentially causing trouble in any relationship they may be building. Different relationships being different, in what they consider being unfaithful and all, and I wanna support them in whatever they are doing for themselves, which brings them happiness. If it makes you feel any better, I had a regular for years who I absolutely adored, and I never messaged him once, after he stopped getting shows. I literally cried (privately) on and off for months missing him though, and not in a sexual way, just interacting with him, after shows via message and such, because I thought he was such a fucking cool dude. But I want to respect the fact he chose to leave, and I could never know for sure what his reasons really were (he told me he was joining the seminary, which may or may not have been true, technically not my business at all though). He always paid fairly, but him leaving had no ultimate effect on my bottom line, however, it did and does still affect my emotions. I never once saw the guy, I only ever heard his voice, and got to know his personality.

So Idk but some models could have a similar thought process, and be trying not to bother you/ encroach upon your personal mental, social, and emotional space.

I think there's a bit of a disconnect or misunderstanding here from some of the responses. I'm not bitter about the lack of communication, nor really saddened by it. It was something I expected to happen for a couple of reasons.

1) it's the model's business for personal interaction. I'm no longer active in their room, and not actively tipping. So, being it's a transaction based (business) relationship, it's to be expected. It'd be like my going into a bar, sitting down and enjoying the atmosphere, music, drinking some water, etc and not paying a cent for any of it. I have offline friends who own businesses, and unless there's a reason for me to be there such as buying something or service related like a repair, I don't stop in and hang out distracting them while they're trying to work and earn a living. I get together with them after hours when we have free time and we'll shoot the shit over beers.

2) As is common with personal relationships/friendships, when someone moves away or stops communicating like they used to, they tend to drift apart as communication slowly dries up. Not really because of ill feelings. Just other priorities getting their attention.

3) Same as #2 but in regards to intimate relationships such as BF/GF. Yes, camsites are not dating sites, and I've never considered them to be one. But, kind of like relationships, if there's nothing else to keep the interaction going such as common interests outside of camming/privates to build a stronger bond/friendship, why keep up with communication?

Of course, it could also be that they're respecting personal space, etc. like you said. But, in a way, I don't think so. At least for a few as some of the responses were pretty cold and gave the vibe of "See ya!"

Please know, I'm not discounting any of your response, as those are your experiences with members and their reasons for leaving. All very valid. When I mentioned to the models I was leaving, I explained to them the reasons why which included my not being in a relationship. It was because I wanted to focus on more personal goals, and it was time to shift from camsites to other pursuits and goals. I felt that after all the time spent together, they should at leave have a basic idea of why I decided to leave instead of my ghosting them. Reading some of the responses by you and other models about how members just up and disappear after long term interactions helped affirm that I made the right choice.

Again, I'm not really taking any of this personal as it was expected. I've always respected them, and grateful for the time we spent together. Similar to here. I appreciate the interaction and input of you and the other models here. And, before @AudriTwo can jump in on it, that isn't meant as a brown nosed statement either

 

[MarieElise]

I think there's a bit of a disconnect or misunderstanding here from some of the responses. I'm not bitter about the lack of communication, nor really saddened by it. It was something I expected to happen for a couple of reasons.

1) it's the model's business for personal interaction. I'm no longer active in their room, and not actively tipping. So, being it's a transaction based (business) relationship, it's to be expected. It'd be like my going into a bar, sitting down and enjoying the atmosphere, music, drinking some water, etc and not paying a cent for any of it. I have offline friends who own businesses, and unless there's a reason for me to be there such as buying something or service related like a repair, I don't stop in and hang out distracting them while they're trying to work and earn a living. I get together with them after hours when we have free time and we'll shoot the shit over beers.

2) As is common with personal relationships/friendships, when someone moves away or stops communicating like they used to, they tend to drift apart as communication slowly dries up. Not really because of ill feelings. Just other priorities getting their attention.

3) Same as #2 but in regards to intimate relationships such as BF/GF. Yes, camsites are not dating sites, and I've never considered them to be one. But, kind of like relationships, if there's nothing else to keep the interaction going such as common interests outside of camming/privates to build a stronger bond/friendship, why keep up with communication?

Of course, it could also be that they're respecting personal space, etc. like you said. But, in a way, I don't think so. At least for a few as some of the responses were pretty cold and gave the vibe of "See ya!"

Please know, I'm not discounting any of your response, as those are your experiences with members and their reasons for leaving. All very valid. When I mentioned to the models I was leaving, I explained to them the reasons why which included my not being in a relationship. It was because I wanted to focus on more personal goals, and it was time to shift from camsites to other pursuits and goals. I felt that after all the time spent together, they should at leave have a basic idea of why I decided to leave instead of my ghosting them. Reading some of the responses by you and other models about how members just up and disappear after long term interactions helped affirm that I made the right choice.

Again, I'm not really taking any of this personal as it was expected. I've always respected them, and grateful for the time we spent together. Similar to here. I appreciate the interaction and input of you and the other models here. And, before @AudriTwo can jump in on it, that isn't meant as a brown nosed statement either

Fair enough, I always over worry about people's feelings, when there is rarely ever a need to. As long as you are not sad, it's all good, and I won't worry.
I'm gonna go back to listening to the Eurythmics; Missionary man now.
Ahh memories Strangely erotic. I should get into that religious fetish genre... damn....

 

[AudriTwo]

And, before @AudriTwo can jump in on it, that isn't meant as a brown nosed statement either

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Fair enough, I always over worry about people's feelings, when there is rarely ever a need to. As long as you are not sad, it's all good, and I won't worry.
I'm gonna go back to listening to the Eurythmics; Missionary man now.
Ahh memories Strangely erotic. I should get into that religious fetish genre... damn....

It's all good, and the discussion is intriguing on why we do the things we do.

Ahh, the Eurythmics. Definitely brings back some memories, and that video reminded me of Peter Gabriel's "Big Time" with the stop motion.