Models not LETTING you take them for a private

[NotYou]

So this is a bit of an odd one that I still don't quite understand, but it has happened to me multiple times with different models.
I have mentioned in the past with one model who said it would be too weird/awkward, but it has happened at least 4 or 5 or 6 times total.

The most recent model, I have been visiting a while, and when I first met her I took her for a private - no cam2cam, nothing bad or too much, it was striptease with topless. Amazing private, nothing too much, and it's what she does.
I don't think I had tokens for a week or 2 but we still talked and laughed etc. When I eventually went to ask "hey would you like to go for a private again, the last one was fantastic", she said no.. I asked why and she gave a brief "it would be awkward now we have spoken and laughed lots and we get on so well".

Today I finally asked her what "exactly" is the reason as I am really confused and unsure, we get on great, we genuinely do. She isn't doing it so I am all "oh bb I love you please" and start tipping her lots to convince her to let me take her.
Finally today she said I am "like a younger brother or another relative, so it would be too weird".


As I first mentioned, this has happened more than once or twice, so I just don't get it. This model specifically does understand that I truly respect her decision but I did say I still don't "actually get it" - even though I do understand what she means, it's just that it's a camsite, you know..

Most models I have a great laugh and chat with and then we do any kind of private, it usually ENHANCES the experience for the better, we get on great and have a lot of fun.

But with a handful, it's the opposite. The above example is just the most recent one. But I am always confused and annoyed by it - as I want to take them private. None of them has ever tried to do some manipulative way to get me to tip more though, so I think they are genuine about it being weird for them..


I am curious:
Users: have you had any similar situations?
Models: have you also done this to users that you feel like you get on well with and talk with "a lot" (a lot can be defined as whatever you think). I would assume maybe no? Because it's a loss of income, even if it is only a small % (meaning I am no huge whale).

 

[Smoothie]

So this is a bit of an odd one that I still don't quite understand, but it has happened to me multiple times with different models.
I have mentioned in the past with one model who said it would be too weird/awkward, but it has happened at least 4 or 5 or 6 times total.

The most recent model, I have been visiting a while, and when I first met her I took her for a private - no cam2cam, nothing bad or too much, it was striptease with topless. Amazing private, nothing too much, and it's what she does.
I don't think I had tokens for a week or 2 but we still talked and laughed etc. When I eventually went to ask "hey would you like to go for a private again, the last one was fantastic", she said no.. I asked why and she gave a brief "it would be awkward now we have spoken and laughed lots and we get on so well".

Today I finally asked her what "exactly" is the reason as I am really confused and unsure, we get on great, we genuinely do. She isn't doing it so I am all "oh bb I love you please" and start tipping her lots to convince her to let me take her.
Finally today she said I am "like a younger brother or another relative, so it would be too weird".


As I first mentioned, this has happened more than once or twice, so I just don't get it. This model specifically does understand that I truly respect her decision but I did say I still don't "actually get it" - even though I do understand what she means, it's just that it's a camsite, you know..

Most models I have a great laugh and chat with and then we do any kind of private, it usually ENHANCES the experience for the better, we get on great and have a lot of fun.

But with a handful, it's the opposite. The above example is just the most recent one. But I am always confused and annoyed by it - as I want to take them private. None of them has ever tried to do some manipulative way to get me to tip more though, so I think they are genuine about it being weird for them..


I am curious:
Users: have you had any similar situations?
Models: have you also done this to users that you feel like you get on well with and talk with "a lot" (a lot can be defined as whatever you think). I would assume maybe no? Because it's a loss of income, even if it is only a small % (meaning I am no huge whale).

I haven’t had a private show request declined by a model for that reason (or actually, for any reason, so far).

But on the flip side, I’ve avoided taking one model private for pretty much the reason you described. She is absolutely delightful, talented and fun to watch perform, I visit her often, and I always tip her in the public show. But in my opinion, we feel more like pals than model/customer at this point. I don’t know if she’d deny a private request from me, but I personally think it would feel weird to do a 1-on-1 sexy show with her.

I have a feeling she’s on the same page with me too. Many months ago, she asked me point blank in a PM, “do you ever masturbate when you tip me for things?” And I was like “well, actually … no.” She wasn’t offended by that answer. But I think it was her way of confirming.

 

[inertvolcano]

I have not had a model refuse to go private. I did have a model who I had tipped and had a decent rapport with say she didn't want to do anything sexual with me in a private show, and would rather use it to get to know me and talk one on one. I was curious how it would go so I went ahead, but she just asked me a ton of personal questions I wasn't comfortable answering so I bailed on it.

 

[MarieElise]

Models: have you also done this to users that you feel like you get on well with and talk with "a lot" (a lot can be defined as whatever you think).

Yes. Absolutely. I'm more passive about wiggling out of it though, and rarely tell them directly why (or the real reason).

Watch Secret Diary of a Call Girl (It's available tons of places online to stream for free) Season 1; Episode 1.
All will likely become clear.
Pay special attention to the dude who can't get off, and gets her ego going, and then what happens...

You shared a few years ago that you are some fancy long word, which is like a group of people who can't get sexually off with total strangers. I forgot the word. Something sexual but it wasn't sapiosexual it was a different word. Some people don't want you to know the real them in this context, and if you get too close (or try to) you're booted.

 

[bbc003]

Its nice to have an explanation or closure on things but you shouldn't expect this on the Internet. I get it, not knowing things can drive you crazy but only if you let it. If she doesn't want you in private you can either accept her answer at face value and just tip public, or move on and find a model who you can take private. As an experienced user, I think you already know that getting a straight answer from a cam model should never be expected and is not worth wasting energy on.

 

[Omne35]

So this is a bit of an odd one that I still don't quite understand, but it has happened to me multiple times with different models.
I have mentioned in the past with one model who said it would be too weird/awkward, but it has happened at least 4 or 5 or 6 times total.

The most recent model, I have been visiting a while, and when I first met her I took her for a private - no cam2cam, nothing bad or too much, it was striptease with topless. Amazing private, nothing too much, and it's what she does.
I don't think I had tokens for a week or 2 but we still talked and laughed etc. When I eventually went to ask "hey would you like to go for a private again, the last one was fantastic", she said no.. I asked why and she gave a brief "it would be awkward now we have spoken and laughed lots and we get on so well".

Today I finally asked her what "exactly" is the reason as I am really confused and unsure, we get on great, we genuinely do. She isn't doing it so I am all "oh bb I love you please" and start tipping her lots to convince her to let me take her.
Finally today she said I am "like a younger brother or another relative, so it would be too weird".


As I first mentioned, this has happened more than once or twice, so I just don't get it. This model specifically does understand that I truly respect her decision but I did say I still don't "actually get it" - even though I do understand what she means, it's just that it's a camsite, you know..

Most models I have a great laugh and chat with and then we do any kind of private, it usually ENHANCES the experience for the better, we get on great and have a lot of fun.

But with a handful, it's the opposite. The above example is just the most recent one. But I am always confused and annoyed by it - as I want to take them private. None of them has ever tried to do some manipulative way to get me to tip more though, so I think they are genuine about it being weird for them..


I am curious:
Users: have you had any similar situations?
Models: have you also done this to users that you feel like you get on well with and talk with "a lot" (a lot can be defined as whatever you think). I would assume maybe no? Because it's a loss of income, even if it is only a small % (meaning I am no huge whale).

Similar but not cam. When I was in the Navy in nuke school in Orlando I hung around a strip bar on OBT in the evenings. I got to know several of the dancers by just sitting and talking to them. This was not a high end place. I remember asking one for a lap dance. She said it would be too weird since we were friends. I think it just depends on the model. Some have a hard time once they've personalized you.
TBH I would have felt odd in retrospect if she had said yes.

 

[Ozzie_]

It is an interesting situation. I've never had any of my previous model "friends" in the past refuse a private show for that, or indeed any, reason.

From my point of view, with my model friend (I am actually, these days, that rare creature; a monogamous cam user) it did take me a *long* time before I requested a private show with her. I had those same fears; I was worried that it would be too awkward, or that I would somehow ruin the then budding friendship in some way. She was enthusiastic in her acceptance that first time, and I did not do or say anything stupid so our private shows have only ever enhanced our friendship.

I see it as kind of like (virtual) "friends with benefits"

 

[RuthStrawberryblonde]

Sometimes if the chat has been too friendly e.g. non-sexy topic I can feel quite odd having a private, if the customer has already spent is a regular I'm usually fine. Very difficult to put my finger on it, but I have felt it. However I don't decline I just shift my headspace.

 

[ArcticKitty]

it's just that it's a camsite, you know..

Most models I have a great laugh and chat with and then we do any kind of private, it usually ENHANCES the experience for the better, we get on great and have a lot of fun.

At any rate, it usually enhances your experience for the better.

It appears to me that you're seeking a FWB experience. K, fine, but that may not be apparent and may be a bit of a disappointing jolt to someone who didn't realise it. Going from talking about fur babies to wanting to purchase a cybersex session wouldn't sit well with me even knowing full well that it's a fucking camsite and that I make bank by getting guys off good.

People have their personal lines. I like my friends but I don't want to go down on them. I don't really want to know if someone who is a friend has masturbated while thinking about me, and so on. It is what it is.

Just a heads up: the models who declined private sessions are certainly not the only women who felt uncomfortable, they are the ones who told you.

 

[NotYou]

At any rate, it usually enhances your experience for the better.

It appears to me that you're seeking a FWB experience. K, fine, but that may not be apparent and may be a bit of a disappointing jolt to someone who didn't realise it. Going from talking about fur babies to wanting to purchase a cybersex session wouldn't sit well with me even knowing full well that it's a fucking camsite and that I make bank by getting guys off good.

People have their personal lines. I like my friends but I don't want to go down on them. I don't really want to know if someone who is a friend has masturbated while thinking about me, and so on. It is what it is.

Just a heads up: the models who declined private sessions are certainly not the only women who felt uncomfortable, they are the ones who told you.

I don't think it's a FWB or a GFE that I am looking for with any model.
I just can't go to a room, think "she's hot" then instantly take her private. Personally, I need to know we get on fine and our personalities get on. I wouldn't call this a FWB.

I have had times where I have taken models pvt instantly just because I was horny and they were really hot and what I am looking for in terms of aesthetics, but then it hasn't been enjoyable because there isn't a "connection" (not sure what word to use other than connection, but I just mean it in a way we "click" together and get on and enjoy - I am sure you all know what I mean).

I respect each of their boundaries/lines and decisions and I am not one to try to push it and be all "omg plz bb I am so horny let us go pvt" or anything.
And for what it's worth, I appreciate them telling me that they feel uncomfortable, regardless of whether it's a reason or explanation they have given me or not. I have been lucky in that sense that each of them HAS told me they feel awkward because of us being too friendly.

 

[MarieElise]

. I have been lucky in that sense that each of them HAS told me they feel awkward because of us being too friendly.

You are lucky, they obviously feel comfy enough with you to share that. So many randos go completely off the wall and get abusive at even the hint of rejection, that it can be a huge risk for the model to be that forthright about it. Even though most of us know that it's pretty insane to take something like that personally, unfortunately, a large group of people still do. From the model's perspective, you never know who's gonna do the crazy guy flip, and turn all psycho at the drop of a hat. It sucks.

Most of those types go crazy for a night or 2, but sometimes they focus for a lot longer. Narcissists; they're sick as fuck. Most guys are cool and aren't sick, but you never know who's hiding what, especially at that early stage. It's basically like walking on eggshells sometimes. It takes time, effort and energy to report them, and get it figured out, even after a block...

And tbh many of them have several accounts, and some of them keep on making account after account after account... which of course is a sign for potential fraud/ stolen credit cards etc

 

[Highlander884]

I dont take girls that I visit regularly, to pvt because yeah it does feel strange which is weird as in real life I rather know someone before I engage in anything sexual with them.
I did have a lady find it strange that I didnt take her pvt but that was in her early days when most income came from pvts. She did find it weird that I tipped for nudity once (as I rarely tip for that) was more strange for her that I tip for that but I did because business was quiet that night and hoped to draw in some more viewers for her.

I can definitely see it being weird for some ladies if I did ask for a pvt suddenly, but not all.

 

[inertvolcano]

I don't think it's a FWB or a GFE that I am looking for with any model.
I just can't go to a room, think "she's hot" then instantly take her private. Personally, I need to know we get on fine and our personalities get on. I wouldn't call this a FWB.

I have had times where I have taken models pvt instantly just because I was horny and they were really hot and what I am looking for in terms of aesthetics, but then it hasn't been enjoyable because there isn't a "connection" (not sure what word to use other than connection, but I just mean it in a way we "click" together and get on and enjoy - I am sure you all know what I mean).

I respect each of their boundaries/lines and decisions and I am not one to try to push it and be all "omg plz bb I am so horny let us go pvt" or anything.
And for what it's worth, I appreciate them telling me that they feel uncomfortable, regardless of whether it's a reason or explanation they have given me or not. I have been lucky in that sense that each of them HAS told me they feel awkward because of us being too friendly.

Brett, I am the same way and it's really not uncommon at all for guys to want or need to have some kind of emotional connection to engage in sexual activity with someone. It is a shitty societal myth that every guy can be rock hard and ready to go the moment they glimpse someone attractive. I've said in other threads that I exclusively go to low traffic rooms and this is why - I need to be able to engage with the model and make SOME kind of connection or I'm just not into it. And that's absolutely impossible in rooms with thousands of viewers. This isn't weird or threatening, it's just how some of us are wired, and while some models might not want this, I can promise you that I have met plenty of models who totally get it and enjoy having regulars that they can connect with in the same way.

 

[MarieElise]

Brett, I am the same way and it's really not uncommon at all for guys to want or need to have some kind of emotional connection to engage in sexual activity with someone. It is a shitty societal myth that every guy can be rock hard and ready to go the moment they glimpse someone attractive. I've said in other threads that I exclusively go to low traffic rooms and this is why - I need to be able to engage with the model and make SOME kind of connection or I'm just not into it. And that's absolutely impossible in rooms with thousands of viewers. This isn't weird or threatening, it's just how some of us are wired, and while some models might not want this, I can promise you that I have met plenty of models who totally get it and enjoy having regulars that they can connect with in the same way.

You could do it in higher traffic rooms. It would just be more expensive. You'd have to pay for the time to get to know the model, right from the getgo.

If a high traffic room is accepting exclusives or one on ones, you just take them for a show, where you say upfront what you want (i.e. "I just wanna talk for a bit, no nudity or anything right now, I'll say when I'm ready for that."). But I do concede that at certain times it is hard to hit the button fast enough, and by the time the model returns it might not work for your schedule anymore. There are a lot of factors. It is complex.

 

[inertvolcano]

You could do it in higher traffic rooms. It would just be more expensive. You'd have to pay for the time to get to know the model, right from the getgo.

If a high traffic room is accepting exclusives or one on ones, you just take them for a show, where you say upfront what you want (i.e. "I just wanna talk for a bit, no nudity or anything right now, I'll say when I'm ready for that.").

You're absolutely right, it's possible, but it's more difficult. It's more expensive, but also the model is juggling interactions with numerous other members so it can be a struggle to get their attention. It's a little too much work for my preference.

 

[MarieElise]

You're absolutely right, it's possible, but it's more difficult. It's more expensive, but also the model is juggling interactions with numerous other members so it can be a struggle to get their attention. It's a little too much work for my preference.

Undertsandable. I would like to remind you though, that just because a models room is like that a lot, it doesn't mean every time she is online, it is like that.

So you know... it might be worth reconsidering on the odd night, when things could spontaneously click, and you might have a one off good time, or a few off good time w someone you previously thought wasn't worth the effort.
Some nights the whole site is quiet, and even the top row models have quiet rooms. Doesn't mean they don't still wanna interact and have a good time too though. In whatever form a good time might come.

(Sorry to derail guys, my ADHD is so fricken bad right now. I'm zipping it).

 

[inertvolcano]

Undertsandable. I would like to remind you though, that just because a models room is like that a lot, it doesn't mean every time she is online, it is like that.

So you know... it might be worth reconsidering on the odd night, when things could spontaneously click, and you might have a one off good time, or a few off good time w someone you previously thought wasn't worth the effort.
Some nights the whole site is quiet, and even the top row models have quiet rooms. Doesn't mean they don't still wanna interact and have a good time too though. In whatever form a good time might come.

(Sorry to derail guys, my ADHD is so fricken bad right now. I'm zipping it).

Absolutely! You've given me some things to think about for my next visit.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I don't think it's a FWB or a GFE that I am looking for with any model.
I just can't go to a room, think "she's hot" then instantly take her private. Personally, I need to know we get on fine and our personalities get on. I wouldn't call this a FWB.

I have had times where I have taken models pvt instantly just because I was horny and they were really hot and what I am looking for in terms of aesthetics, but then it hasn't been enjoyable because there isn't a "connection" (not sure what word to use other than connection, but I just mean it in a way we "click" together and get on and enjoy - I am sure you all know what I mean).

I respect each of their boundaries/lines and decisions and I am not one to try to push it and be all "omg plz bb I am so horny let us go pvt" or anything.
And for what it's worth, I appreciate them telling me that they feel uncomfortable, regardless of whether it's a reason or explanation they have given me or not. I have been lucky in that sense that each of them HAS told me they feel awkward because of us being too friendly.

Right, you're demisexual.

 

[inertvolcano]

Isn't it rude to tell a stranger what their sexual orientation is based on limited information? Not sure I particularly like that. But either way, no I'm not demisexual.

 

[ArcticKitty]

It was for Brett, actually.

 

[inertvolcano]

Sorry, saw the post before your edit. Thanks for clarifying.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Sorry, saw the post before your edit. Thanks for clarifying.

Sorry, my fault; I didn't realise that I didn't quote.

 

[MarieElise]

I was grateful because trying to remember the word itself was driving me insane.
I remember googling it when Brett first used it, and finding it super interesting. Because if someone is demisexual but also poly at the same time, I imagine cam sites might present some extra challenges for them, and there's the opportunity for a lot of misunderstandings.

I'm not saying anyone here is demisexual and poly, (these are just my musings). It helps me to be a better cam model to try and put myself in different types of members shoes. Rather than just catering to the one type, that might be easiest for me personally.

 

[NotYou]

Right, you're demisexual.

I was grateful too because trying to remember the word itself was driving me insane.
I remember googling it when Brett first used it, and finding it super interesting. Because if someone is demisexual but also poly at the same time, I imagine cam sites might present some extra challenges for them, and there's the opportunity for a lot of misunderstandings.

I'm not saying anyone here is demisexual and poly, (these are just my musings). It helps me to be a better cam model to try and put myself in different types of members shoes. Rather than just catering to the one type, that might be easiest for me personally.

To be fair, I had never considered labelling it, in fact, I had never even thought about me "being" anything, but this actually helps.
I wasn't sure exactly what demisexual was, so just looked and it definitely does sound like it's me - at least for the most part.

 

[MarieElise]

To be fair, I had never considered labelling it, in fact, I had never even thought about me "being" anything, but this actually helps.
I wasn't sure exactly what demisexual was, so just looked and it definitely does sound like it's me - at least for the most part.

Ok fair enough, I must be thinking of a different word.
All I remember is one time you used a fancy word (which I know sounds ridiculous, but I swear one time you used a fancy word that I had to google). It was about 2 years ago - I remember that much. And it ended up being a really interesting word.

 

[NotYou]

Ok fair enough, I must be thinking of a different word.
All I remember is one time you used a fancy word (which I know sounds ridiculous, but I swear one time you used a fancy word that I had to google). It was about 2 years ago - I remember that much.

Are you sure it was me? A fancy word doesn't seem like something I would use haha
Now I am curious though. If it itches your brain too much and you go looking and find it, and it WAS me, please tell me so my brain also stops itching lol

 

[MarieElise]

Are you sure it was me? A fancy word doesn't seem like something I would use haha
Now I am curious though. If it itches your brain too much and you go looking and find it, and it WAS me, please tell me so my brain also stops itching lol

Oh my God... just when I thought I could let it go. This is going to drive me insane all over again
It was definitely you. I remember very clearly.
I remember thiking "That Brett guy's fucking Fancy." Clear as day.

 

[Life_Happens]

Great thread and replies. I have had this happen once to me. I didn’t make a big deal out of it and now we are actually better friends. She even introduced me to her boyfriend who I now chat with on telegram. I think it worked out ok.

She still offered to do an exclusive video for me at half her normal charge. It took her up on it, tipped the other half, and we have a nice compromise.

Now I am the quiet knight who just sits back and mutes idiots, tipping at just the right times

 

[RuthStrawberryblonde]

I understand some guys need trust building, in my experience they pop in hang around, say a few words, pop out. They may ask a question after a while and eventually feel safe enough to go into private which is lovely. I find that different to chatting about say a common interest, I do have regulars who do chat about common interests but they've usually spent before we discover this and the interest is different rather than exactly the same. Also they aren't pushy or prying.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I'm not saying anyone here is demisexual and poly, (these are just my musings). It helps me to be a better cam model to try and put myself in different types of members shoes. Rather than just catering to the one type, that might be easiest for me personally.

I'm curious; knowing that I'm bisexual and sapiosexual, how would you position/profile me?