Models not LETTING you take them for a private

[Ozzie_]

Ok fair enough, I must be thinking of a different word.
All I remember is one time you used a fancy word (which I know sounds ridiculous, but I swear one time you used a fancy word that I had to google). It was about 2 years ago - I remember that much. And it ended up being a really interesting word.

Are you sure it was me? A fancy word doesn't seem like something I would use haha
Now I am curious though. If it itches your brain too much and you go looking and find it, and it WAS me, please tell me so my brain also stops itching lol

Now all our brains are itching!!!

I also had never heard of demisexual, but I guess it describes me for the most part also. Over the past 18 months I have on *very* rare occasions interacted (tipped / talked to) with models other than my friend, it was underwhelming to say the least, so I no longer do it

 

[MarieElise]

I'm curious; knowing that I'm bisexual and sapiosexual, how would you position/profile me?

Lol as someone I'd probably get along with very well. Especially considering we both do stem research hehe. Maybe just of a different type

 

[ArcticKitty]

Lol as someone I'd probably get along with very well. Especially considering we both do stem research hehe. Maybe just of a different type

Awesome! But, stem research? I'm sorry, you lost me.

 

[MarieElise]

Awesome! But, stem research? I'm sorry, you lost me.

It was a pot joke. I used to have to check for too many stems, until I realized it was a ridiculous waste of my time.

I can't profile anyone properly until I at least know their astrology. And I mean full chart, not just sun sign. It would be impossible to do so before then.

 

[ArcticKitty]

It was a pot joke.

I can't profile anyone properly until I at least know their astrology. And I mean full chart, not just sun sign. It would be impossible to do so before then.

LOL you divined my interest in indoor gardening? *cough, cough!*

 

[ArcticKitty]

But I really was wondering how you would categorise me as a market segment on cam sites, @EliMarie717 .

I know of course that >90% of users are male. And that women (for real) are not going to want to draw attention to themselves. Beyond that I'm guessing but I would expect that female users are more likely to tip early and often but less likely to do cams on the daily than men are.

 

[MarieElise]

But I really was wondering how you would categorise me as a market segment on cam sites, @EliMarie717 .

I know of course that >90% of users are male. And that women (for real) are not going to want to draw attention to themselves. Beyond that I'm guessing but I would expect that female users are more likely to tip early and often but less likely to do cams on the daily than men are.

I honestly don't have enough female clients anymore to be able to tell or categorize you. I used to have more, but since I am pushy about cam to cam, and make it clear I really prefer it, I think it has scared many away. Which sucks and wasn't my intention with that, but it is what it is. I would say the female clients I did have, did tend to visit less frequently compared w most males. But I had such a small segment of openly female clients, that it would be impossible for me to draw any conclusions or make any generalizations. Plus I am an erratic scheduler, my ADHD is not adequately treated. It is my belief that most cam site regulars do not like models who don't adhere to a pretty strict schedule. It's just I am not able to right now, and really haven't ever been able to. Which puts a lot of people way off of me.

I always wanted more... Still would love more (female clients).

 

[ArcticKitty]

I'm sure that shy bi millennials and bis who love their boyfriends/husbands are small but growing in numbers on sites. Still a small demographic and will be though.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Actually, I've recently been inspired to look into a possible sideline. *s*

 

[MarieElise]

Actually, I've recently been inspired to look into a possible sideline. *s*

do you mean like sidegig in this sense? I deleted my post because I wasn't sure I was using each acronym correctly, and was worried about looking like a total moron. But I assume this is in response to what I posted and deleted. If you do consider camming and I am understanding this correctly, feel free to message me anytime if you think I might be able to answer any questions. Or feel free to tag me in threads you make, so I get a notification of stuff I might have the knowledge to potentially be of assistance with.

 

[ArcticKitty]

Umm..pm'ing you now.

 

[Finchomatic]

Bake her a cheesecake. See if minds are changed

 

[MarlieJane]

I've done this with a couple guys who intimidated me. And again w someone bc I didn't like the way they worded things lol

 

[Omne35]

I've done this with a couple guys who intimidated me. And again w someone bc I didn't like the way they worded things lol

Baked them a cheesecake?

 

[IsabelaHarlow]

I did refuse to go on privates in the past, but only if the person was rude and disrespectful in the chat.

 

[RuthStrawberryblonde]

I did refuse to go on privates in the past, but only if the person was rude and disrespectful in the chat.

Yes I learned to always cover my back, if some was asking for hard fing, gagging on dildo at or their name is aggressive I do not want to be in a private with them. I'm always up front about what I can or cannot do.

 

[misterical]

Yeah, I've experienced something similar with a model who I regularly visit. We are definitely more friends than model/customer at this stage (or at least that is how it appears). She was always awkward when I took her private in the past and as a result we don't go there now.

 

[misterical]

So this is a bit of an odd one that I still don't quite understand, but it has happened to me multiple times with different models.
I have mentioned in the past with one model who said it would be too weird/awkward, but it has happened at least 4 or 5 or 6 times total.

Although in my experience it just creates a different problem because then you feel guilty about visiting and NOT going private which is every bit as awkward.

 

[GraysonDrake]

I honestly *love* sexual friendships and it's the exact vibe I try to cultivate with my viewers. It's a very comfy, casual place to be and even with my submissives I tend to maintain some of that.

If someone felt like they couldn't look at me sexually anymore because they now see me as a person it would really hurt my feelings. That may not be what OP's model said in as many words, but that's the intent I get from her.

I truly don't believe in setting arbitrary boundaries like that, especially not in my professional life.

 

[inertvolcano]

I honestly *love* sexual friendships and it's the exact vibe I try to cultivate with my viewers.

Me too, me too. Sexual friendships is exactly what I'm looking for, and it can be extremely hard to get. I was extremely lucky with the first model I ever found and now we have exactly this. Sometimes we just chat and talk about our lives and sometimes we go private and get weird. It's exactly what I wanted and needed.

Her schedule has changed though and I have been trying to find other models to visit that hit this vibe and it has been excruciating.

 

[Brit]

I have refused privates many many times, but not because I knew the people too well; rather, it's because I didn't know them at all! On the rare occasion when I've accepted privates with random strangers, I've always felt awkward af and I don't like it. I would prefer to kinda know someone so that I can better tailor the private to them with what I know they like and don't like. Some people desire pure sex, others just chatting, others a mix, and knowing my client means a better experience for both of us.

You are lucky, they obviously feel comfy enough with you to share that. So many randos go completely off the wall and get abusive at even the hint of rejection, that it can be a huge risk for the model to be that forthright about it. Even though most of us know that it's pretty insane to take something like that personally, unfortunately, a large group of people still do. From the model's perspective, you never know who's gonna do the crazy guy flip, and turn all psycho at the drop of a hat. It sucks.

I had a guy beg me to go private with him. I didn't even have my "accepting privates" thing turned on! He tipped me quite a bit, but I just wasn't comfortable with going private for a myriad of reasons. I try to be honest and authentic (safely!) in all my interactions with people so I told him my reasons (too nervous about it, I didn't know him, was worried it wouldn't be good for him, let's get to know each other a bit more etc). He continued to try to convince me. It was exhausting. He became not very nice and then gave me a thumbs down for rejecting him. Someone who was begging me, tipping me like crazy, telling me all sorts of ego boosting shit became an asshole all within a span of 10 minutes. Made me very sad.

 

[MarieElise]

Someone who was begging me, tipping me like crazy, telling me all sorts of ego boosting shit became an asshole all within a span of 10 minutes. Made me very sad.

That's actually a sign and symptom of certain personality disorders ie raising up on a pedestal then devaluing. At least that's what they taught us in Grad school. So I'm really wary of people who do that.

I agree with being authentic, it's just that there are 2 main reasons that I won't be always in this context 1) What Brit just described, and having to deal with the icky residual feeling afterward. and 2) Sometimes my room is so busy that it's purely about efficiency w time, and not wanting to deal w potential drama. I think we are talking about 2 different platforms here though. I've never worked CB, and I'm extremely inexperienced when it comes to token sites.

As far as the demi sexual fwb thing goes, I can see models who perhaps have past experience or history of abuse or even just fears of stalking being more on guard and potentially threatened by that. I know sometimes I mistake it, as the client wanting more than the context provides. I'm scared they will go complain on some forum after the fact, that I lead them on to think we were going to meet up, or in some way tried to love-con them. When the reality is they were the one trying to get close to me. So it's really complex in the context. But I agree FWB and friendly but sexual, is cool and ideal. Not everyone from every culture and background is going to understand that orientation though. I know in my personal life (in the past) people would mistake that for more serious and committed than it was, and flip shit to realize it wasn't that deep or necessarily monogomous.

Lol, I think what we get overall from my post here, is that I'm scared of people, and misunderstandings. Sorry to ramble.

There's something to be said about that speed at which clients try to get to know the model too. A lot right up front, and right away tends to trigger my "this could be a red flag person", whereas a slow approach over time, triggers my "this is probably just a cool person" response. Hope that makes sense.

 

[inertvolcano]

There's something to be said about that speed at which clients try to get to know the model too. A lot right up front, and right away tends to trigger my "this could be a red flag person", whereas a slow approach over time, triggers my "this is probably just a cool person" response. Hope that makes sense.

This happens the other way too. I have been visiting new models lately and getting immediately asked for my real name, where I live, what my job is freaks me out. Let's just keep it light and casual and talk about, like, a Netflix show we both like or something lol

 

[MarieElise]

This happens the other way too. I have been visiting new models lately and getting immediately asked for my real name, where I live, what my job is freaks me out. Let's just keep it light and casual and talk about, like, a Netflix show we both like or something lol

Oh Holy shit! Yeah, that would scare the shit out of me as a viewer.

 

[inertvolcano]

Oh Holy shit! Yeah, that would scare the shit out of me as a viewer.

It's happened three different times in a couple days. I think in every case they were just new models who didn't know how to make conversation without being invasive, but I don't know how to react and so I just run away.

 

[MarieElise]

It's happened three different times in a couple days. I think in every case they were just new models who didn't know how to make conversation without being invasive, but I don't know how to react and so I just run away.

Lol sorry to laugh... but honestly I'd do the same (ie run or at least get the strong urge to).

Sometimes it is fun to make stuff up though, as long as it's a completely obvious lie. I told a dude the other day "I'm just some crazy, horny guy on acids next level science shit. So basically I'm a hologram, and I'm just being projected down into some crazy bitch's basement. Hahahaha... just thank God you're not actually meeting her."

ETA; Warning; if you go that route (ie start making up characters) the risk of becoming addicted to LARPing is real!

 

[NotYou]

It's happened three different times in a couple days. I think in every case they were just new models who didn't know how to make conversation without being invasive, but I don't know how to react and so I just run away.

From my understanding, studio models, in particular, are told to ask this kind of stuff to try to understand who the client is and to try to make it sound like they care and have an interest and it builds a rapport.
But I do agree with you, I think at first let's not ask too much too fast.

I have even had a model pretend she lives "just near me" - which of course she could, it's not impossible but it is very improbable because I am in a small town. I suspect it's something she says to all guys so it sparks more conversation and she gets to know the person even more (who knows exactly).

 

[Ozzie_]

This happens the other way too. I have been visiting new models lately and getting immediately asked for my real name, where I live, what my job is freaks me out. Let's just keep it light and casual and talk about, like, a Netflix show we both like or something lol

I have a differing view, of course everyone is entitled to their own boundaries, but I've never seen the problem with this.

Knowing my first name isn't an invasion of my privacy, lost of guys have it
Asking where I live, well as long as she isn't asking my actual address, it's no threat; Australia is a big fucking country
And I imagine there are a LOT of guys with my name working in my industry in my country, so that is no real risk either.

I see the last two as great conversations starters actually.

Asking or telling about Netflix or Prime viewing is problematic on two counts:

Firstly what is available to you (or the model in this situation here) may not be available to me here in Oz. It really sicks what I cannot see that is available in the US or Europe on these platforms.

Secondly, if it is something we can both view, it is probably very mainstream and as such most likely not to my taste. (e.g. Stranger Things, Umbrella Academy, and anything to do with fucking super (anti-) heroes)

However, talk to me about food and cooking (especially cuisines of other countries than Australia), you've got my interest.

 

[Highlander884]

I dont mind girls wanting to know my real name and where I live roughly but yeah not sure I want other members knowing my name not sure why.

I be kinda concerned if a girl live near by me as where I live would mean we would almost certainly bump into each other.

I do want to have friendly bond with model but obviously not looking for relationship. Every pvt I've had with a model I didnt know, I've forgotten their username or what they looked like etc etc. But at same time I do feel awkward going into pvt with girl I know and chat to often.

Brit u r not the only girl who will 9only take pvt with regulars and totally get why girls only want regulars.

Going back to female clients, I do remember asking some models I knew well if they had ladys want pvt and the only girl who had said she didnt want any more as each of the 3 girls were aggressive and rude. Plus one of them shoved her webcam inside her when they were doing cam2cam.

 

[MarieElise]

Plus one of them shoved her webcam inside her when they were doing cam2cam.

... wow. Next level POV.