Models not LETTING you take them for a private

[Finchomatic]

Baked them a cheesecake?

Cheesecake is life.

 

[inertvolcano]

I have a differing view, of course everyone is entitled to their own boundaries, but I've never seen the problem with this.

Knowing my first name isn't an invasion of my privacy, lost of guys have it
Asking where I live, well as long as she isn't asking my actual address, it's no threat; Australia is a big fucking country
And I imagine there are a LOT of guys with my name working in my industry in my country, so that is no real risk either.

I am admittedly a little paranoid because someone I upset on the internet once used the little information they knew about me to find my employer and call them to tell lies about me, and also used it to find information about friends and family members and harass them as well. I'm sure you are right that it's okay to share this information, but it makes me extremely nervous after that incident.

 

[CheeseMoon]

I am admittedly a little paranoid because someone I upset on the internet once used the little information they knew about me to find my employer and call them to tell lies about me, and also used it to find information about friends and family members and harass them as well. I'm sure you are right that it's okay to share this information, but it makes me extremely nervous after that incident.

I know where you're coming from since I'm the only guy in the country where I live (and likely the world) with my exact name, so I use a goto fake name to avoid having to maintain notes lol. But if some disgruntled/jealous/crazy model somehow found my real name and called my boss to complain about <whatever>, he would probably piss himself laughing ... at me! After that, he would probably lock me into his office until he had all the sordid details.

I don't actually have time for that, thus a fake name when I'm asked

 

[Finchomatic]

I don't actually have time for that, thus a fake name when I'm asked

I probably given out 60+ fake names over the last 18 years in the cam world.

Safety and anonymity goes in all directions. Even those that I truly trust in the cam world (both broadcaster and fellow users who have become online friends of sorts through emails or Twitter) don't know my real name and never will. One broadcaster tried finding me online with a name I given her and said I was like a ghost cause she could not find anything. Then started to mistrust me after that because it felt like a violation of her trust of not knowing who I really am. Like hello, I'm just some dude who tips and chats a lot about anything and everything in order to have a fun time when online with others like myself who just want to BS about things without any drama. I could care less what a persons name is and where they live, because once I close my web browser, the online adult cam site world has no room in my personal life.

But for real. Cheesecake is amazing.

 

[MarieElise]

I am admittedly a little paranoid because someone I upset on the internet once used the little information they knew about me to find my employer and call them to tell lies about me, and also used it to find information about friends and family members and harass them as well. I'm sure you are right that it's okay to share this information, but it makes me extremely nervous after that incident.

do you know who they are? you could hire a PI to find them if not.

 

[Smoothie]

I know where you're coming from since I'm the only guy in the country where I live (and likely the world) with my exact name, so I use a goto fake name to avoid having to maintain notes lol. But if some disgruntled/jealous/crazy model somehow found my real name and called my boss to complain about <whatever>, he would probably piss himself laughing ... at me! After that, he would probably lock me into his office until he had all the sordid details.

I don't actually have time for that, thus a fake name when I'm asked

I do the same. When I am asked, I give all models the same fake name (first name only). That way it’s easy for me to remember because it’s my lone cam site identity aside from the username itself.

I’ll give them a semi-nearby major city to where I actually live and I will give them my general line of work, but won’t discuss specific things I’m working on. I feel like the fake name, “close enough” location and vague-but-true career info is more than enough info to allow us to chat more meaningfully, without exposing myself too much. But the fake first name, no last name policy is crucial to me feeling comfortable talking much at all.

A few times, I’ve been confronted with “is this your real name?” My response is usually to ask them if their model name is their real name. Most of the time, they’re like “ok, I understand now” and we proceed without any further digging.

 

[inertvolcano]

do you know who they are? you could hire a PI to find them if not.

I don't, but this was over 10 years ago, and when it happened I could barely afford rent so paying a PI never occurred to me. He stalked me for a few years but I managed to lose him by shutting down all my accounts and using new aliases. Want to know what set him off? I made a "yo mama" joke and he got really mad about it.

After that I just felt like you have no idea what innocuous thing will set someone off and whether they're unwell enough to spend years trying to hurt you.

 

[CheeseMoon]

A few times, I’ve been confronted with “is this your real name?”

It's a pretty horrible question to get since it would by then be obvious to the model you gave out a fake one! It's superficially flattering to be asked for more personal info I guess, but signs of digging/stalking would have me turned off from the whole thing pretty fast. A model who feel that your (for lack of a better word) white lies about your real name should be exposed is at best awkward, as long as everything else is cordial and professional.

 

[GraysonDrake]

This happens the other way too. I have been visiting new models lately and getting immediately asked for my real name, where I live, what my job is freaks me out. Let's just keep it light and casual and talk about, like, a Netflix show we both like or something lol

wtf I had no idea other models did that O_O

I'm always so fucking cagey about my location and I never ask viewers for personal info unless they hint they have an interesting job or something, and I always reassure them that they don't have to answer or talk about it if they don't wanna. Like that's just basic internet etiquette...

I am from the fucking village of Nunya on the island of Bidniss thank you very much.

Me too, me too. Sexual friendships is exactly what I'm looking for, and it can be extremely hard to get. I was extremely lucky with the first model I ever found and now we have exactly this. Sometimes we just chat and talk about our lives and sometimes we go private and get weird. It's exactly what I wanted and needed.

Her schedule has changed though and I have been trying to find other models to visit that hit this vibe and it has been excruciating.

I wish you luck! You're welcome to pop by my streams if you're ever so inclined. My schedule is fucking bananas though lol

 

[ArcticKitty]

I always wanted more... Still would love more (female clients).

I would be happy to recommend you to my friends since I can certainly vouch for you as witty and charming! I'm not sure how that would come up in the course of conversation though.

 

[Smoothie]

It's a pretty horrible question to get since it would by then be obvious to the model you gave out a fake one! It's superficially flattering to be asked for more personal info I guess, but signs of digging/stalking would have me turned off from the whole thing pretty fast. A model who feel that your (for lack of a better word) white lies about your real name should be exposed is at best awkward, as long as everything else is cordial and professional.

Yeah, it’s a little weird to find out they even care what your real name is. Most don’t care (nor should they). It shouldn’t matter what your real name is unless they’re trying to figure out who you are, and if that’s the case… why?

I don’t mind telling them that my name (like theirs, usually) is an alias. They’re giving me an online persona, and vice versa. It’s all good. And I think when I phrase it that way, they get it. They should protect their true identities, and I should protect mine. But the rest of our conversations are rooted in reality (location, career etc). In that sense, they’re actually getting the “real me,” but without the ability to look up my phone number or other stuff.

 

[ArcticKitty]

My understanding is that Russian models are more likely than others to ask what your name is. And maybe it's a cultural difference but I would be suspicious that they/their studios are seeking user PI for no good reason.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I never have done a private show but I think that I can partially relate to feeling wrong about doing some things and boundaries. I don't tip for specific actions on the menu except for song requests or treating someone to a hand of blackjack or something like that. I just tip to show my appreciation in general and try to time it so as to encourage others to tip as well.

I also don't frequent the rooms of models I know from ACF. It's really just me but I would feel awkward doing that and maybe she would too. *shrugs* Does it have to make sense?

 

[ArcticKitty]

(Add: Not counting popping in just to say hi to a friend when I see she's on. I'll only stick around for a bit. And yeah, I always tip because it *is* her place of business after all and it reinforces the implicit expectation for other users in the room.)

 

[MarieElise]

I would be happy to recommend you to my friends since I can certainly vouch for you as witty and charming! I'm not sure how that would come up in the course of conversation though.

Yes, I can't imagine me telling any of my friends who's fun to masturbate too either. Or what type of porn I've been watching etc etc
That's a bit much for me, and my personal boundary lines within friendships. But at the same time I've had fwb too, in fact I used to excel at those type of relationships. But they were people who the sex stuff started w first, and who became friends 2nd. Not friends first then fuck buddies. God... all of this is confusing and complex. Maybe I just fear a conflict of interests type situation, like I don't want someone pretending to listen to my problems, because they're secretly hoping for head afterwards. Too much for my ADHD mind to unravel and handle.

But at the same time, if other people can manage and thrive w that, more power to them. It's just not for me.

 

[NotYou]

I'm lucky... as soon as I say England they always just assume London so my location is always safe

For name, with some I will honestly just say a fake random name, I usually try to use the same one though. It's never become awkward (I don't think) if I have then become a regular to the model and we get on well, I always just briefly explain and say "they use fake names for protection, so do I at first" and they always understand.

 

[Smoothie]

I'm lucky... as soon as I say England they always just assume London so my location is always safe

That’s definitely a good thing. You organically end up in the same situation that I sort of force myself into, by naming a major city that isn’t super far away from me.

It’s ideal for me because if she asks about my life, I just tell the truth (without identifying details of course). The weather, fuel prices, social issues, everything is the same here as it is in that city. And I go there very often. I just don’t live there.

 

[Brit]

I always ask someone for their name if I'm going private with them or if I'm making them a special vid. I ask something like "how would you like to be addressed while we get undressed?" I don't care if the name they give me is fake or real. I just don't really want to moan out "ilovebigtitties69420."

I also don't frequent the rooms of models I know from ACF. It's really just me but I would feel awkward doing that and maybe she would too.

I was visited by someone on here and it made my day. I only knew who he was because he told me in a lovely tip note. I was (and am) very appreciative that he took the time to visit me, tip me, and mix in my room a few times even though I don't think I'm really his type. You're on this forum taking from other models. Why wouldn't you give back?

It's always strange to me when I see people who frequent this forum not visit any of the models on here. Sure, people might use different usernames (and probably do), but this sentiment of "I don't visit models from this forum" is something I've read a surprising amount of times. It's disrespectful and insulting towards every single model on here who freely gives their time and energy to make this place what it is.

I apologize for the harshness of my tone, but I really can't get this point across any gentler even though I've rewritten it many times.

 

[MarieElise]

A way around the awkwardness would be just to use another screen name and not disclose who you are (that's what I do). I don't visit any of the models on this forum for masturbatory reasons (I have no need to visit any model for that), but I frequently send anonymous tips to say thanks for the info, and support that they have provided. There are a lot of models on here who basically work this site like its a part-time support job, and who are really good at helping not just users but other models too. Not every model on here is granted (and that's cool, work-life boundaries are important), but quite a large number. Behind the scenes many of the models here advocate for a lot of changes and site features to help out newer models too. I've seen some models really fight, and put a ton of energy into advocating like that, with site support staff etc.

 

[Smoothie]

I was visited by someone on here and it made my day. I only knew who he was because he told me in a lovely tip note. I was (and am) very appreciative that he took the time to visit me, tip me, and mix in my room a few times even though I don't think I'm really his type. You're on this forum taking from other models. Why wouldn't you give back?

It's always strange to me when I see people who frequent this forum not visit any of the models on here. Sure, people might use different usernames (and probably do), but this sentiment of "I don't visit models from this forum" is something I've read a surprising amount of times. It's disrespectful and insulting towards every single model on here who freely gives their time and energy to make this place what it is.

I apologize for the harshness of my tone, but I really can't get this point across any gentler even though I've rewritten it many times.

I’ve visited and tipped models from this forum on many occasions. Each time, I ended up letting them know I was from ACF. And each time, it was a good experience. Although so far, I’ve kept it to models that broadcast on sites where I already have an account.

I haven’t signed up for a new site and purchased tokens specifically to visit an ACF model, which would feel a little too stalkerish for my taste. Almost more so if I didn’t reveal I was from ACF, but that’s just my personality type.

 

[Nienna]

I’ve visited and tipped models from this forum on many occasions. Each time, I ended up letting them know I was from ACF. And each time, it was a good experience. Although so far, I’ve kept it to models that broadcast on sites where I already have an account.

I haven’t signed up for a new site and purchased tokens specifically to visit an ACF model, which would feel a little too stalkerish for my taste. Almost more so if I didn’t reveal I was from ACF, but that’s just my personality type.

I have thought of visiting and tipping models from ACF, but like you, it would have to be a site where I have an account.

 

[MarieElise]

Pretty much every model has an onlyfans, and that's a site that gives us a higher payout.
When Ingo to tip models from ACF, I always go to a site where they'll get the highest possible percentage like spankpay or OF. Or MV tip feature. But there is also reddit etc too, where models can get even more. I don't work reddit, but many models do.

I have multiple buyer accounts on every official site. I feel like a total weirdo now hehe. Tbh it can get a bit overwhelming keeping track of passwords etc But I mean it's good for my mind to practice that stuff.

 

[inertvolcano]

I plan on visiting as many of you as I can and making it extremely awkward and uncomfortable as soon as our schedules line up. I've followed a lot of you here and there.

 

[Smoothie]

Pretty much every model has an onlyfans, and that's a site that gives us a higher payout.
When Ingo to tip models from ACF, I always go to a site where they'll get the highest possible percentage like spankpay or OF. Or MV tip feature. But there is also reddit etc too, where models can get even more. I don't work reddit, but many models do.

I have multiple accounts on every official site. I feel like a total weirdo now hehe. Tbh it can get a bit overwhelming keeping track of passwords etc But I mean it's good for my mind to practice that stuff.

See, I have several cam site accounts but only two where I consider myself active (visit and spend money regularly). The rest are times when I got convinced to try a new site, did so, and then just stopped for whatever reason.

And I have yet to sign up for OnlyFans, for reasons I can’t fully explain. At times, I wonder if I am the only guy (OnlyMan?) who still hasn’t jumped on that locomotive.

 

[inertvolcano]

OnlyFans was my gateway drug into the world of camsites, but I prefer camsites more because I like the real time interaction and being able to have faster paced conversations. OnlyFans is great for getting a regular feed of content but in terms of conversation I get like one response every three days. I need more social interaction than that. I guess that makes me a LonelyFan.

 

[CheeseMoon]

My understanding is that Russian models are more likely than others to ask what your name is. And maybe it's a cultural difference but I would be suspicious that they/their studios are seeking user PI for no good reason.

I've been asked by models from all over the world after spending a non trivial amount of time and money in their room. Some won't ask at all even if you get a decent conversation going, and some have sent me a PM and asked for my name well after I've logged off, either because there were so many other things to talk about or they had a sudden bout of absentminditis or something. Can't say I've seen a cultural pattern in it though, but that's statistics based on my personal dataset containing a microscopic amount of Russian models.

This whole name thing seems to mostly be about making conversation anyway. Everybody needs an opener, although "what's your name?" tends to come very much later or not at all when you chitchat with random strangers in a bar for 10 minutes.

 

[inertvolcano]

My very small sample size of name asking models were Colombian, Estonian, and "Japanese".

 

[ArcticKitty]

Yes, I can't imagine me telling any of my friends who's fun to masturbate too either. Or what type of porn I've been watching etc etc

That would be weird. But then I don't see my bi/les friends going for private sessions on cam anyway, even if they could afford to!

That's a bit much for me, and my personal boundary lines within friendships. But at the same time I've had fwb too, in fact I used to excel at those type of relationships. But they were people who the sex stuff started w first, and who became friends 2nd. Not friends first then fuck buddies. God... all of this is confusing and complex. Maybe I just fear a conflict of interests type situation, like I don't want someone pretending to listen to my problems, because they're secretly hoping for head afterwards. Too much for my ADHD mind to unravel and handle.

But at the same time, if other people can manage and thrive w that, more power to them. It's just not for me.

I haven't had to worry much about things being complicated so far, but I'm friends with the first guy I was with and his wife. It's nice.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I was visited by someone on here and it made my day. I only knew who he was because he told me in a lovely tip note. I was (and am) very appreciative that he took the time to visit me, tip me, and mix in my room a few times even though I don't think I'm really his type. You're on this forum taking from other models. Why wouldn't you give back?

It's always strange to me when I see people who frequent this forum not visit any of the models on here. Sure, people might use different usernames (and probably do), but this sentiment of "I don't visit models from this forum" is something I've read a surprising amount of times. It's disrespectful and insulting towards every single model on here who freely gives their time and energy to make this place what it is.

I apologize for the harshness of my tone, but I really can't get this point across any gentler even though I've rewritten it many times.

I can't speak for others and I don't feel a need to to defend my personal choices but I don't see my actions as disrespectful and insulting toward every single model on here, especially anyone whom I'm acquainted with. There's a different dynamic between models and users because it's paid entertainment. Maybe some people don't feel inhibited with what they say to customers but there is still a power differential and it's not easy or often wise to be free spoken.

And I really just wouldn't feel comfortable, I would feel like a voyeur.

Lastly, I take exception to your implication that I'm free riding in ACF. There's no subscription or cover charge posted here and I would pay a reasonable rate. I'm not aware of any express or implied expectation of quid pro quo in the form of patronising ACF members. And I think that on balance I am helpful and supportive here and even an occasional comic relief. If you don't consider it to be a positive contribution then you don't have to read my posts.

 

[Brit]

I don't see my actions as disrespectful and insulting toward every single model on here

Are you a model? If so, you would understand. If no, then please read my words carefully.

There's a different dynamic between models and users because it's paid entertainment.

If you aren't a model, then you are a user, a member, a client. You are interacting with models on here for free.

Lastly, I take exception to your implication that I'm free riding in ACF. There's no subscription or cover charge posted here and I would pay a reasonable rate. I'm not aware of any express or implied expectation of quid pro quo in the form of patronising ACF members. And I think that on balance I am helpful and supportive here and even an occasional comic relief. If you don't consider it to be a positive contribution then you don't have to read my posts.

No, there's no "expectation", but it's pretty common decency to support people for their help or time. Would you integrate yourself into an art or music forum, but never support anyone's work there? I do consider some of your posts to be a positive contribution to the forum, but the most positive contribution any member can give is monetary support.

Models who engage with people publicly on here are using their time and energy (resources) to do so. But they do it for a myriad of reasons, most notably because they want to help people. No matter the reason, there are many other things that they can use their resources on, particularly making money. For you, this is just a fun hang out place where you can freely get to know people and get a glimpse into the inner workings of this world. For models, this place is an extension of our livelihood. To be a member here and say that you don't tip models on here is rude. Would you say that on the art or music forum?

If you don't feel the need to tip anyone on here, you do you and that's fine. Just don't insult and disrespect people by saying you don't and won't support their work even though you take their resources. That is what I specifically have issue with - proclaiming that you don't support the very people who you interact with on a continual basis.

To be clear, all this is not necessarily directed just at you. I just keep reading that sentiment on here and your post was the final straw for me to make a public post about it. Take this for the learning moment it is. I'm not trying to tell you or anyone who they should and shouldn't tip or how to spend their money. I'm trying to teach you and others how to not insult the people who are freely giving their resources to you. And again, I've rewritten this many times to make it less harsh, but feel I have failed.

Sorry Brett for derailing the thread